Envy is a nasty bug that we've all felt. Pride can get the better of us all. Whether you let it control you in the end is what matters. You can always apologize after, so don't let your final words to someone come from jealousy or ego, you'll regret it later.
@@ZeIfore and then ofc you have the unfortunate cases like Calli's, where you try hard to avoid the envy at the bottom and the pride at the top but still fall prey to the guilt on the way up. I'm just grateful she's strong enough to push on through it with her Dead Beats behind her. Hey, maybe as time goes on, she can keep using her platform to shine a light on all her heroes, like with her remix contests and her fated Milky Queen collab. If only a little, I hope it brings her peace to thank them all in this way.
Entertainment industry is the most unfair one, some people really talented just can't make it and some really untalented people can make millions and be worldwide known. Calli was the former, I had a really hard time finding her work before being a VTuber. Good to know that being a vtuber helped her to be successful as she deserved.
All we wanted is acknowledgement to the people who supported us and the people we looked up to,but it is the worst feeling when you wanted them to feel proud but all you got is head on clash with their envy and jealousy,that's one of the worst feeling you will have
I can only imagine how much that stings. Because it's not as if she's been sitting around waiting for a vtuber gig to boost her music career overnight. She's been working her ass off for years. She worked to get to where she is now. I think that would hurt the worst, watching your heroes be your friends and give you uplifting talks and all that...until you get bigger than them. And you realize they might not have ever been your friends at all, but kept you around to feel better about themselves _assuming you'd never make it._ Now that you have, the facade is ripped off and I can't imagine how lonely that must feel.
Not trying to brag that calli is amazing, but she’s truly the person that we all neede but don’t deserve in this world. Although she’s gotten more popular these days than the people she’s looked up. She’d even portray herself as being guilty for surpassing them but also cannot thank everyone enough for helping her reach to the point where she is in life right now :)
Callie's so talented when it comes to music. I don't really like rap but I would listen to Callie's raps. She's one of the very few people that has made me like something that I generally don't like (mainly if it's her that raps it with some exceptions). But it's not just about the talent alone, there are a lot of other factors that come into play as well. Don't get me wrong, everyone else is really talented in their own way and I also love them all and wish them the very best but, correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like Callie's one of those people that excels in music (at least when it comes to rapping). Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that Callie's one of the few people that are real gems. It's hard for me to put it into words so sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to put Callie in a pedestal, I'm not. I'm just trying to say that she's an amazing person and I wish her the best.
@@gadielbaez2778 Calli is definitely the best in Hololive when it comes to rapping, in big part cuz she's the only one who really focuses on that, but there's plenty others who are amazing musicians and singers too
I think this lesson isn't just for those in the music industry but for life in general. Life isn't fair and of course there times where it is more unfair to some other people compared to others. But as Cali said all we can do is stop pitying ourselves and move forward. God, I love Cali's music so much, it REALLY knows how to hit home.
It also seems to progress: you go through some shit and push through life -> you get to where you are now in life -> thank the past, it was hard as hell but got me here -> Let’s keep it going -> Repeat. That’s life. We’ll never stop striving to be better.
Listening to this live, I heard how her voice started getting husky. I knew we were on dangerous territory at that point. Then when Calli said she just wanted the people she looked up to to say they were proud of her I broke. The dam burst. It hurts seeing the person you admire be in tears. All of the Hologirls are amazing but Calli is the first one I associate the feeling of "I wish her to be happy". If she is happy, I am happy. That was a rough moment to see again.
She's so precious. i got really got surprised when i heard her trying to hold back her tears! I will forever be thankful that we can be there to see her grow and become better each day, let's continue on supporting her and giving our boi lots of love o7
She doesn't forget the people that Helped and inspired her, she wants them to be proud of her cause she knows that whatever she had learned from them is now a part of her. Guilt can eat someone's up till they feel unmotivated, Am happy that she tries to do more and more things than just let the guilt eat her up. I am so glad that I got to meet and support such a great artist. Such a Beautiful person really.
I wouldn't even say hinted, she shows her insecurity issues all the time but the best part about Calli is that even though she beats herself up a a lot, she keeps kicking and standing up. Doing the things she loves and making content for all the Deadbeats that look up to her the way she looked up to others. Shes 1.7 millions subs and counting, she should be proud and know those around her are proud.
People can't just stroll into becoming a Hololive member and she won't have been recruited for her rapping ability alone. Absolutely deserves all the success she gets. She's earned the huge platform she now uses to spread her music. GG Dad.
juts look at suisei she was rejected many times but she did not give up. calli did not give up she fought tooth and nail and the success is her hard working showing
@@world4saker It's actually come to light that quite a few of the current talents have tried to audition before but were rejected, but kept trying. I think Nene had to try 4 times to finally get in, and I think it was Kanata who recently told about also having to try a few times, and I can only imagine it would be the same with more of the others as well.
I used to think it was luck that decided who got picked into Hololive but the staff must have had some crazy good foresight to be able to see how hard working and multitalented these girls are
Damn that's harsh... When you think the people you look up to would at least praise on what you done because you were inspire by them, you end up getting a different response that totally throws you off guard. It sucks to hear this happen to Calli. She only got so far in her songs because she gained a lot of inspiration from musicians from the beginning. The amount of work would not have come so far if it wasn't for them. Whoever these people are that Calli was inspired by, i think they need to be inspire by her and come up their ways to do better with their songs instead of feeling the need to cut ties or berate her for just being successful.
True its just sad when the people you look up too makes you feel depressed instead of word of encouragement theyve been jealous of what achievement calli has done because of her hard work and dedication as well as inspiration its just sucks to have that feeling
The music industry can be tough, some make it while many others fade into nothing, I think a lot of them hold some feelings of resentment towards Calli because they probably feel like she took the easy route by joining Hololive, just joining gets you a crazy amount of exposure. And with Hololive EN blowing up, it probably made them even more bitter. But Calli being able maintain a loyal fanbase in a company full talented people is no easy feat, and that alone should be commended.
Relationships with people of similar trade or work can be really complicated sometimes. Or just in general, sometimes life can feel heavy, and painful when seeing your peers succeed without you. It can be unbelievably frustrating, and even make it difficult to maintain some relationships. Some people are also very critical, meaning even more so of themselves and close peers. Seemingly unwarranted success can even come as an insult to them. People are complicated, and it sucks and hurts when situations like this happen. Really hope Calli is able to enjoy the new relationships and bonds she's been able to bridge now though. She deserves a lot more than she often gives herself credit for.
@@UnordoxRevs In addition of what you said, it is not easy to be employed by hololive. If I recall correctly, many of Calli's friends rejected at the same audition.
In terms of class acts Calli is one of the top. I also think that Gura is too humble but it is not about numbers, they are both good ppl that make others happy. Alot of hololive is great and humble. I am happy to be alive during this timeline.
@@weeb6956 Just an eye opener in case you are new to the vtuber scene (since newcomers tend to only be able to look at surface level details and unable to find more info), there is a certain forum dedicated to getting vtuber statistics. Gura has a certain source of income that is also easy to track and quantify, and it dwarfs Calli so much that the difference is equal to Calli entire month worth of SC. There is a reason why Gura is too humble, people who are doing worse/less than someone else dont act that way. Look up a Watame video to see how one acts when one is feeling inferior to someone else; or just look at Calli when she sees those who she has surpassed (it is this same video you are watching), it applies the same to Gura.
@@ank8995 I'm not gonna say no one is allowed to look at numbers but at some point y'all people who look at numbers should realise it shouldn't be about the numbers. Curiosity is a natural thing but it is really shitty for the actual person behind the live2d to always be compared to another person in terms of numbers, whether they're superchat amounts or subscriber amounts. It's why Calli or even Gura could feel guilty about their success. It's one thing for these streamers to feel like they didn't earn their audience, its normal for them to feel imposter syndrome. But us fans shouldn't accidentally or even worse, intentionally, make them feel shitty.
@@artoria3000 I'm aware what I'm doing is equally shitty to those I respond to, but when a lot of these people (newcomers I assume) keep mentioning SC as if to try and diminish Gura achievements, you just want to inform them a bit. The one who I responded to compare them in the first place, not me. For example, people like Technoblade or Dream has incredibly low SC but they create a community that allow them to rely on another source of income (not counting merch) very high it nullifies the need to pander for hours just to get those donations. Just a bit of eye opener because a lot of them are not aware, that's all.
You should never be jealous of your friends and never feel like you have to be guilty for your success. It always sucks to lose friends, but friends who hold you back like that and are unable to be happy for your success aren't good friends to keep around.
I know this is late but tbh, they didn't even had to lose Calli. The lyrics hinted that she and her oldies were still in touch, it was just their choice to cut ties with Calli for "betraying" them. The rest I strongly agree. No matter how close you were with your mates, it's never an obligation to be with them till the end, especially if they're sabotaging the life you strived to and are successful at. I also deeply understood why Calli was in this "sorry" state that she was as being someone who's successful at almost everything I do, I get multiple, sudden and heavy guilt trips when people around me didn't achieve what they dreamed of and it ruins me every time I see it. I remember going to a huge competition with 2 of my best buds. The first prizes was a trip to a famous uni and a private questioning session with the lecturers there, one of which was our idol. Sadly, in the end, only I got a prize (and it was a first prize). I was honored one of the best but I didn't feel any glory nor pleasure, and definitely not when I'm hearing my friend's heartfelt crying in the background. I had a boiling urge to throw everything away and go give him a big, comforting hug. Yet, I couldn't muster the strength and courage to leave the awarding ceremony and do so. Although we're still bffs till this day and resolved that day's unfortunate event with some nice ice cream, I can't help but remember that moment again and hate myself for winning or simply wish me/none of us joined that competition.
This song and this stream explaining the lyrics... wow. A lot of thing she said about friendships that you left behind and moving on really hit home. I'm glad she ultimately decided to write and release this song, I hope it helped her exorcize a few demons from her mind.
Not to sound like Hololive wasn't a key factor in her surge in popularity, but my praise here is less for Calli and more for the girl behind the Live2D. There are millions of Dead Beats congratulating the former as we speak, so I just wanna take a second and remember that the road to today was long and emotional for the latter. To be fully aware that your dream is not feasible but somehow still find the strength not to let go of it takes damn near superhuman drive. It kills me that she expected her own failure from reality but still kept that childlike grip on the magic of the dream. And now here she is, not only opening doors through that same pipe dream, but she's using it to inspire everyone watching her. She never wanted to be some sort of spokeswoman of sad endings, but it must have been hard to believe she had any other choice. Making dreams a reality takes the talent to do it, the ambition to evolve it, and the determination to keep it alive. That's all internal tho, and I'm just happy for her that she had those 3 long enough for this external stroke of luck to find her. I should also say that I'm happy she's not wasting the chance she found here. If it were me, honestly, I would probably try to drag everyone I felt guilty about into town limelight with me, regardless of how lame or even disrespectful to the platform it looked. Guilt can destroy a human heart, but fortunately she had her genmates and us Dead Beats to protect her from the darkest of it. And even though she's committing her identity as Calliope Mori to living her dream, she's still paying homage to the life and the other talented musicians she left behind. Whether it's through open remix contests, off-collabing with those who happen to also be VTubers, or heartfelt lyrics like these, she has become a living example of "never forget where you came from". I look to her for lessons on how to be strong, how to keep a vision, and how to say "thank you", especially because she can't do those things easily. It makes the lessons human. I learn from her that not all relationships have to be symbiotic, and you're allowed to let go of the ones that are. I learn to give love to friends that don't demand it and vice versa. I learn that the pain and regrets of ending a beloved chapter is a sign that the next chapter is truly worth it, and that I can look upon both and smile. I'm proud to be so impacted by her and her work. It's an understatement to say she saved my life.
Man, very well said. I agree with the points you brought up. This song has felt special to me ever since I first heard it. It has a lot of depth to Calli's way of expressing her honest emotions of her journey into her dreams and music. I'm often reminded how much and why I respect her a lot as a VTuber, musician, and most importantly, person.
Some of her pre-Hololive songs show how much she struggled, and how she tried to keep her chin up. I knew her music before, and one of my favorite songs of hers is probably self-reflection on her path. I am really glad that she reached this point in her life and continues to make music. You're an ace, Calli.
I feel sad for the other artists. Yeah Calliope had insane determination and worked really hard but so did many of her peers. To me success especially in the music industry isn't the result of hard work but the price of admission. I just hope that all the artists out there who do not have a hololive to expose their great music and hard work find a way to grow.
Damn man this is all I would have said and then some. Extremely well written. As much as I know Calli appreciates the support of her fans, I think ultimately what she wants more than anything is for her fans to support themselves. To learn from her mistakes, and use her story to leap to even greater heights. Even though this song is very much about her personal story and struggles, her circumstances are not entirely unique. Everyone at one point or another will have to leave a part of their life behind, and it will hurt immensely to do so. I won't go into too much detail but this pandemic fucked my life up pretty bad. Coming at the end of my Junior year of highschool, it felt like this was supposed to be my time to come into my own and be independent. Spending months on end inside was not exactly fulfilling in that regard. I saw my friends graduate and go off to school, my hobbies and interests dissolve into a hole of depression, while my opportunities to pursue them dwindled to almost nothing. My path that had seemed so clear barely over a year ago was nowhere in sight when I graduated this last June. But through all this I did stumble into a little rabbit hole that, although I didn't realize it at the time, would absolutely change my life. From knowing almost nothing about Japanese culture, to being semi-fluent in the language and going to undergraduate school in Japan next year to major in East Asian history and culture, Hololive has quite literally turned me around and sent me to the other side of the globe. Life is unpredictable and extremely punishing, and it's okay to feel defeated sometimes, but ultimately what matters is that you get back up. But that doesn't mean you need to forget what came before. As Calli said during this song's debut "it's okay to be sad when something ends." You don't need to be guilty for feeling sad about the things you left behind, even if the life you're living now is so much better for it. Sad, angry, upset, fucking done with everything. It's okay to be all these things, and though it might be a lifelong struggle to truly realize that (I know it will be for me), the path to doing so will make you stronger than you'll ever know.
She saved you too? I think that's why we all love her. I'm in perhaps my darkest moment in my life now, but her music, and more so, herself, the lady, the girl behind the avatar, is what is legitimately saving me and helping me through now. There are other reasons why, lord yes, there are so many reasons why you can't help but fall for her. But I think for me, is because I see alot of her in myself and alot of my friends have said I have similarities to her to the point that I even questioned it. I love music down to an almost obsessive nature because it helps my nerves, was even learning piano because it's my favorite instrument, but at the sametime, worse things just kept happening and it was just so out of control I became depressed and so many dreams of mine either died or got frozen. But then this pink haired girl came out of nowhere and inspired me to grip onto my dreams even harder than before and fight against those demons, especially self-hatred. At first I was like no way, but the moment I really tried to listen to her, it was legitimately like she was next to me but not in the grim reaper sense, but like a dark protector or angel kind of way. I could write and write but I feel that it can't represent my feelings about her and why I am so proud to be a deadbeat. It's very cheesy, but it does come down to three things I think: love,respect, and inspiration. This is kind of my first time talking to other deadbeats on this level, but this is just the 100% truth.
She didn't ask for much, she just wanted a chance. Now she's bigger than she could have ever thought possible. We should be proud of other people's achievements no matter who they are. Talent alone can only get you so far, but with determination, courage, and support you can do just about anything. That's why alot of talented people have hit a roadblock. They lack at least 1 of those things. Keep doing what you're doing Calli, everyone is here for you.
Well put. Without determination, many talents may give up their dream before they make it big. Without courage, many may not have the confidence to make that leap into the unknown and risk putting their heart on the line and prove their worth. Without support, many MANY simply lack the connections and encouragement to reach their dreams, it can be difficult to keep pushing when all you receive in return are empty words. Life won't hold your hand because you tried your best. You must be diligent, you must be brave, and you must have those that will encourage you to truly reach ones pinnacle. It's harsh, but it takes a lot of fighting, yourself and your competition, to earn your dreams...
Sadly it's really not that simple. Calli worded it much better, "the eyes on you", there are so many incredible talented people on any media that never get the chance or recognition they deserve. I for example, see it all the time on instagram of incredible "background" artis that give life to amazing worlds, but since that is not "cute girls", they don't get much attention. Sometimes among those equally or even more talented people, you get lucky, as you get that chance, the others don't. You can't blame yourself for it, but those feelings are there. We all know the world is unfair.
@@sivedd True, being a cute girl definitely has some unfair advantages. However, it also depends on what you have to offer to your audience that can determine how well you do. For example: Jacksepticeye, Markiplier, and Pewdiepie are all dudes who have been at this for years now. Their positive energy, personalities, and their wide range of content has been bringing in viewers and they just keep growing. Though Chibi doki is a girl, and her character is admittedly adorable. Her personality does not match. She's chaotic, random, and in no way ladylike, and I think that's what her fans love about her the most. She always manages to find a way to surprise them. No one ever said becoming a streamer, rapper, or RU-vidr was gonna be easy. That's where the determination to get the people's attention comes in. If people go in with the mindset of "I'm not a cute girl" or "I'll never be as successful as that person" then the determination to do better starts to die and then that's when that roadblock hits. Some people try to copy what others do and think that will work. If you show people who you are and what you have to offer then I think your chances will be better.
@@jedi81311 Tho all that it's true, that's not what Calli talks about. For example among Vtubers, we know there are a lot of talented individuals doing it, but getting into hololive is a big advantage. Even among hololive, not all of them get the same attention. That's where popularity comes in, the "eyes on you" that Calli mentions. An easy example (seriously, no hate here), I love Gura as she is one of my favorites, I love her singing, but she is not the BEST singer in hololive. Reflect doesn't have an MV, it has a cool cover art, but it does lack the production quality of many Songs among hololive. Yet, very quickly got 10 M since its release. Not saying that it doesn't deserve it, but it got a lot more popular due Gura's own popularity. Others songs deserve the same attention that Reflect got. That's what Calli is talking about among people she met. She and her music got really popular, but skill wise, they also deserved that success, but didn't.
This is a great example of why you should always support your friends and be happy for them. I mean look at how much it hurt her that her friends didn’t stick by her or were jealous of her. I hope calli is doing alright and I love seeing her express her emotions like this
To the amazing artist behind Calliope Mori: you are an amazing artist and amazing person, you earned all of this. If you feel that your success made you a villain, remember there are tons of so called rapper that only shouting few words to catchy beats for 2 minutes and get millions
This stream,,, talking about her experience and feelings and pouring it into this song, it made me feel emotional because somehow, I felt that I related to it. And when she started choking on her words, I started crying. No matter what direction we take in life, no matter what we pursue, there are bound to be people who wont be happy for you, so you tell yourself not feel bad. But the guilt will always be there. And sometimes, maybe the best thing to do is just walk away from them and be your own motivator.
Ah yes, the dilemma of when you become “better” than the people you looked up to. It’s really sad to think about, cause it’s nobody’s fault. Not everyone gets a chance to make their passion succeed, chance and luck play a huge role in getting the ball rolling. All we can really hope is that the predecessors are happy that the were able to play a role and inspire another’s path to success.
yeah i can understand where she's coming from. imagine looking up to someone's music and been listening for years and when you become more popular than them they aren't happy for your success. i would definitely be sad
I was watching this live, the emotion in her voice was suppressed by her holding it together, but then this happened and it was super impacting emotionally. After the "hey kid, ya did a good job" quote she muted for about 40 seconds to collect herself.
it's sad, hope one day she'll understand that every subscriber she has, she totally deserve it ! it's really hard to not compare to others and when you have a kind heart like calli she's feeling bad ...
That wasn't really the problem tho. It's not just that she doesn't feel like she deserves this, but that she knows other people that has been in the same grind for longer and still not getting recognition. Not to mention, Calli thinks these people actually deserve more than her. She looks up to them. And then comes the bitterness that came with her big break as a VTuber. She wanted to make them proud but instead got hate. All of this is completely understandable. On both sides. But we can't really do anything about it. That's just how it is. I just hope she's not talking about the people I'm thinking of. Because it'd be a real shame.
@@SenseofNoneYT who do you thinking of ? Btw i didn't really mean i know the problem, i just shared my feeling about calli kindness and about the fact the deserves every subscriber she has that's all
@@Pegase_38 Ah. My bad. Calli tends to beat down herself too much. All we can do is hang out with Calli and try to make her feel better. This sh*t happens in all kinds of industry. As for the people I'm thinking of, there's a handful of underrated reapers in the same circle as our reaper previously was. It's prolly not them but It crossed my mind
Lowkey one of toughest individuals I’ve seen in hololive. Remember when she had three jobs at one point AND did vtubing? Keep it moving Calli, you’re here for a reason.
That sucks, it's not her fault she hit the marketing jackpot and got her music out there. I know lots of talented freelancers that don't get as many clients as they expect. Its 2021 media is an oversaturated market on a global level. Savants are a dime a dozen, check your ego and learn how to market your talent first then put your work on display. Sucess is skill exposure and lots of luck.
This is why seeing some people in twitter saying stuff like "they're only popular because they're in hololive" sadden me. Sure hololive helps the girls but without their own contribution, talent, and determination they won't be anywhere near as popular now. Just like calli said before "stop tweeting, start creating".
Man, those people piss me off so much because of how ignorant they are. The fact that a bunch of lazy ass losers who have no work ethic have the gall to sit on Twitter and complain about how people with actual talent and dedication are “sellouts” and “don’t deserve their success” is so infuriating. Not only was hololive as a whole built from pretty much nothing but a dream, but a lot of the talents involved built their careers from scratch as well. Take IRyS for example, her old RU-vid account has dozens of videos that she created over the course of a decade, and when her talent got recognized and she was accepted into hololive, those same lazy pricks complained about how she was undeserving of her success, completely negating the ten years of nonstop work that she put into building her online presence from nothing. The same goes for all of the other girls, each of them are holomems because they have something that all of those Twitter failures lack: perseverance and dedication. The success they have is entirely because of their effort and drive to improve, and they should never feel guilty about their own hard work
When a company like Hololive are making really big sucess, people tink is for granted, they not care what sacrifices and hard work has to be done, or how any girl has to be a true talented to be part of that company in first place. Thats why are jealous but never try in first place. Calli said she only enter for giggles and fun but at the end of the day, she has talented and her numbers and sucess are the proof.
i never knew the intent of the lyrics before watching the livestream, but i sure did felt that throughout the music, which is why i commented "must've one of those nights" or something, give our reaper some love too fellow deadbeats
When you surpass your mentor, there really would be a feeling of guilt. Especially when you don't hear "I taught that one. I am proud of her. I raised that kid." the feeling was not she was passed the baton but it was like they have thrown the baton and didn't even watch her go forward. Now I understand why she was self-depreciating...it was like she was balancing the guilt by denying herself the validation and recognition she deserves. These are all just my opinion tho. I wish one of those heroes she looks up to can say how proud they are of her...her latest song really hits hard. Also with Kiara's statement about Takamori...really happy that she is becoming more like herself than just maintaining that image that they started with. Calli is lovable and really admirable...
I think the important message to take away from this is to celebrate when your friends and family succeed, not fall into jealousy and hatred. It’s not Calli’s fault that she became more successful than her friends and mentors. She worked hard, made a lot of smart decisions and got connected to the right people that were able to put her career in a positive trajectory. While I don’t mean to toot my own horn, I’m currently in a similar boat where I’m in a more successful position than some of my friends and mentors, but unlike Calli, I’m not feeling guilty about it. Mostly because not only did those friends and mentors celebrate in the success, but I also came to terms that I worked very hard to be where I am and I got connected to the right people that put me in the right place. Typically, the people that are jealous and either ignore you or say hateful things about your success are the ones kicking themselves for making poor decisions or squandered opportunities to be just as successful. Jealousy is something that can eat you alive.
Food for thought. "Never meet your heroes" sounds cool and all. But have you thought about it from this perspective? She discovered these people online and was amazed. Got connected. Decided to move to Japan exactly to 'meet her heroes'. And because of that, the Calli we all know and love exists right now. There's no blame in this. It's just really unfortunate and we can't do anything about it. That's just life. People can work hard, but not everyone gets their own big break.
@@SenseofNoneYT Luck is where opportunity meets preparation. They may have been as prepared as they humanly could have been (or believed as much), but if they were never graced by a good opportunity they're not gonna make it. For whatever reason, Calli did get the opportunity that her heroes didn't but that doesn't mean she's just "lucky". She prepared for it and it paid off. She should be proud of that. What's difficult about this situation for her in my eyes is the "friendships" she had. I imagine many got jealous of, outright combative with, or ghosted her after all this while very few actually congratulated her (i.e. actual friends). Really hurts finding out that you have very few true friends, even among ones she may have actually trusted. Only thing I'd reckon she should learn from this is it's better to have fewer true friends than dozens to hundred of fair-weather ones.
@@TheBoxGhost_tm Well for one, I didn't even say she's "lucky." All of them (including her) worked hard. But I was trying to think of it from her perspective. They're people she admired. Not just friends. And it didn't come off as she had dozens of friends at all. I mean, we won't really know for sure but I got the impression that it's only about a handful of people. I honestly don't think Calli is the type to have many friends. Quality over quantity. That's why it's all the more reason why it's hard to face it. Again, I think Calli truly deserves to get to where she is now. But not everyone gets to be recognized. And whether we like it or not, there's always gonna be bitterness. When you've been working hard for so long and someone newer surpasses you in a short time, it's pretty normal to feel envy, feel intimidated, or even despair that you just weren't meant to make it. I just think we can't demonize any of them. We're all humans. There's no way those people wouldn't feel even a little bit of envy. And it might also be the case that they simply started getting detached because of frustration, not out of spite for her. Cutting off connections because of emotional drought is a very real thing. When you're in a really dark place in your life, your decisions get clouded. I feel like that's what Calli should think about. That they don't necessarily hate her for succeeding. That is one long-ass reply. I'm sorry, mate. I really don't disagree with you. I just have a different perspective I wanted to express.
Okay so lemme gush for a bit: I’m a huge rap fan, been listening for most of my life. Many of you probably know that before Calli joined Hololive, she made music under a different name - so even before HoloMyth was a thing, Calli was my #1 favorite rapper. Seeing her get all the attention that she deserves is great, but at the same time, listening to her talk about how the boost that Hololive gave her hurt some past relationships… I don’t want that for her, man. None of us do. That must hurt bad.
As someone who spent his entire musical career somehow surrounded by incredibly talented people, it hurts to see someone like Calli forced to deal with impostor syndrome from her success. The same thing happened to me when my orchestra was first successful. I had people from other orchestras, performers and directors alike who had inspired me to try to improve, acting as if I didn't deserve the victories because I had merely given a windfall of talent around me. The cards play out differently for everyone, success is success; albeit classical music and the underground J-Rap scene are quite different, but I still feel it important that people like Calli realize that regardless of what their heroes think of them, they are the hero to someone else. The one who will create the next wave, and as much as you want those you admire to acknowledge you, sometimes it is best to be grateful and to just look forward
This streamer side of things is soo... Interesting to look at... We all know how stressful it is, and we're all probably consioucs about it beeing a para-social, one-sided relationship, but that last second of the clip made me think how it isn't that flat, not even including the fact of the vtuber characters it already has so many layers to how it affects both parties... Am i the only one who thinks that this is interesting? Idk...
If you rise up beyond those who you admire, imposter syndrome tends to wait at the top. And there's a lot of people encouraging Calli but I kinda want to validate her guilt a bit as well. People try to push away those negative feelings but sometimes they too need to be acknowledged. To those people who say "oh her friends/heroes shouldn't feel jealous etc", that's really cruel to those creators as well. I'm not saying them being unhappy is right. I'm just saying that it takes a lot of strength for someone to look at another person who looked up to them, or who aren't maybe as skilled as them shoot up in what seems to be a fluke. Calli's definitely got a lot more skills in terms of the Hololive stuff and maintaining the fan base, but that doesn't translate 1 to 1 to the same industry. She's an amazing artist don't get me wrong, but just because you stream well doesn't mean you're good at for example music (although she is) and if you're really talented as music you might just not make the whole streaming thing well. Should her heroes/friends be happy for her? Definitely. Is it easy? No way lol. For most of them it's at least bittersweet. For some of them, the pride or jealousy kicks in full scale and it's just not a pleasant experience for anyone. But to say "oh they should all be supportive and be happy for her without feeling jealous" is such a heartless thing to say. Should Calli feel guilty? Definitely not. This wasn't a thing necessarily in her control. Does she feel guilty? Yeah. And it makes sense because of how things are with people. And that's alright. It's ok to have that and continue forward acknowledging those emotions rather than trying to pigeon hole them in some corner and pretend they don't exist. Respect to Calli for doing the former.
I could understand this if it was just bittersweet but seems to a lot her friends genuinely hate her for leaving the indie scene and "selling out" and not just being good friends even before joining hololive.
@@Jepze158 Yeah I understand. But I'm saying that even then, it's very hard for that jealousy not to take over. I'm not saying they're right or that they couldn't be better people. I'm just saying that one-sidedly determining that they suck because they let their jealousy ruin their friendship with Calli doesn't do anyone any favors either.
Agreed, it's more complicated than bad guys vs. good guys. Her feelings shouldn't be treated like they irrationally came from nowhere, and it's pretty shortsighted to just tell her to immediately vilify her role models. It's obviously difficult to express understanding of such a bittersweet situation in short enough words for chat, but plainly throwing a "WE LOVE YOU CALLI FUCK ALL THE HATERS" kinda sounds like someone that's not fully listening.
@@KVergara Gotta dig pretty deep in the comment section to find down to earth and realistic takes like these. I really do wish I could know both sides of the story, but then, this is real life shit, not just some novel where you get to see where everyone stands all the time. Everyone has to work with the information they have and it's hard to give a well thought out, rational response to a situation you only know on a surface level. That's why we throw out vague supportive gestures that miss the point, we want to provide comfort to someone we don't fully know, but feel like we do, and reach for the only words we can think of which may be helpful or comforting in a general sense given what we do know. But then, even knowing the nitty-gritty of it all, the people now out of the rap scene due to covid and having to move on despite major talent, skill, and drive, could anyone really say to their face that they should just get over it? Especially being closer to the situation. Even if you're on Calli's side, being close to people who aren't, who feel jealous or prideful, like she somehow took their chance or no longer understands them, it can be hard to speak out or say how you feel about it. I say this as someone whose fear of abandonment has grown significant enough to warrant mention, so there is a bias there, but everyone's got a unique set of circumstances and who's to say someone involved isn't even a little like me? The thing about life is that there are no simple characters (or at least very few), nobody's purely good or bad or in the right or wrong. We're all just people, sometimes we have trouble expressing ourselves or we let our emotions get the better of us. Sometimes its our defense mechanisms that get us into trouble. Have you ever wanted so badly to say something to someone, to congratulate them or well, say anything and just not been able to make the words come out? Anyway, I guess I'm just saying that everyone's world is so complex and it only gets moreso once you lose your place in it whether or not that's fair to anyone involved.
I joined the stream kinda late and was in a part where she was talking about her confidence in sharing the meaning behind the lyrics, and how it seemed like she's more confident now compared to before. opening up with these kind of topic. I think that's nice. but i totally agree sometimes when we make something we wanna talk about how we made it what's the meaning behind it, and we know if people misunderstand/misinterpret the things we ment or maybe just couldn't see what it really ment because it's really well hidden or just meaningful to us and can't be shared generally, we get that itch or feeling of just clarifying our intentions behind it. and then whenever we try to open up with it we sometimes feel insecure or starting to feel like we're pretentious about it even though we know we're not it's just clearly explaining what's the meaning behind it. and it's really great she gets over this thing not just as a youtuber or artist but a person and a whole. because you don't get a chance to do that unless there are people who's willing to listen so yeah i'd like to not just thank calli for learning these but also us as a community and fan of them to be willing and eager to accept their troubles and sharing a piece of theirselves in a most sincere and endearing way.
I realy understand Calli and her heroes. Envy and bitterness is a harsh reality that tears friendships appart, even those who thought they would be friends forever. It hurts alot to those it affects.
2:36 Every writer who has written a story has had the same hope, and not just "I hope it's a good story" or "I hope people like it." This hope is more personal; "I hope that I am up to the task of putting this story into words"
Wanted them to be proud of me. Oh how those words have been haunting me for years. I second the description of the vid as well. One day Calli. One day you will.
I guess that's why we're here. To remind her that she should absolutely be proud of where she's ended up and that nothing should take that away. Sure, the others have worked themselves to the bone, but does that mean that you haven't? Of course not. You swung and sliced your way to the top like everyone else, your struggles aren't made any less valid because you've surpassed those you look up to. Never doubt yourself, never indulge those jealous claws and never let yourself feel bad for wanting to succeed. While it might sound harsh, you're responsible for your life, not theirs. They have a fight to drag themselves through and emerge victorious, just as you have. Everyone's life moves at a different pace, and there's nothing wrong with that, even if you learned to fly while they're still just starting to run. You're too cool for that, Calli. It's great that you care and that's one of the coolest parts about you, but you absolutely shouldn't beat yourself up over it. If all else fails, your Dead Beats are still here and we always will be.
"how are you this underrated?" Often it's simply a case of not taking opportunities when they present themselves, and/or failing to create opportunities for yourself. There are a _lot_ of talented people in a lot of industries and, like it or not, it's often not enough in of itself. I know I'm not the only one whom still to this day wouldn't have known of Calli - if not for her taking a swing at this opportunity and adopting this persona
Calli is one of the most hard-working, dedicated and driven individuals that I, as a person and as a Deadbeat, have ever had the privilege of following and watching grow and evolve. She should also know that we will ALWAYS have her back, we will ALWAYS be proud of her, and most importantly, we will ALWAYS love her. Love my Deadbeat fam and our Deadbeat Dad ♥
I think a lot of succesful hololive members are selling themselves short. Tons of people think that they're as succesful as they are now because they're just lucky with their auditions. But in reality what Hololive does is give you an audience, whether they'll stick around or not is decided by your talent and skills.
I imagine all of the HoloEN girls feel like this to an extent... I mean all of them were content creators before of some kind, and they've all reached really big success in a pretty short time. I mean it was less than a year from debut when Gura became the most subbed vtuber worldwide, I can't imagine what that kind of pressure feels like. My favorite part about this though is knowing right after stream 100% the other girls were sending some love to Calli ^^ And lets not forget to thank Coco for making HoloEN happen in the first place!
Parts of my interpretation turned out right I guess. The feeling I got was 'I **really** want to cry right now' but that I'd be doing Calli and this beautiful song a disservice by letting tears fall. Those lines are about tough love, not towards someone else, but yourself. Sometimes it's not called for but sometimes it is. I know we joke about the Dad stuff and all but in all honesty Calliope has taught me more than my blood father ever did.
No one likes to admit it but luck plays a massive role in how our lives turn out. There are many people that get completely overshadowed because they never have a chance of showcasing their skills. You have to always be practicing, always be trying to get better, because if the opportunity arises, you need to have the skills to take advantage of it, and it's very real it may never happen again. But if you do get that opportunity, bring forth everything you got, put everything into it, because if you make it work, it opens up many more doors to explore.
I think this actually hit on why the song resonated with me so much, which for a long time after listening I really wasn't sure (I'm a fan of her music but didn't know much about vtubing until just recently). I was like, I'm not that successful lol, why does this part hurt, but I think it's because of that feeling of just wanting someone to be proud of you, and feeling guilty, and then feeling guilty about feeling guilty. Success is a double-edged sword. You need it, but it hurts you at the same time.
One of my favorite anime, Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight, tackles exactly this pain. It uses the setting of cutthroat theater auditions to show how, often in the entertainment industry, the "top star" role takes everything from the rest by framing them as failures by comparison - even against the wishes of the "winner," like we see here with Calli. But this focus on identifying the "top," to the exclusion of all else, is a mentality perpetuated by both the performers and the audience. The only way to break the cycle of pain is to change the perception of this competition. Not as a destructive one where winner takes all, but as an opportunity to share the spotlight and shine brighter as a group than as an individual. While Calli's isn't a "top star" situation, it still points to the same underlying issue: seeing success as a zero-sum game. Sometimes it is, and that's through the design of a harmful system, but often it's just perception. Calli is a great example of how another's success (Hololive) propelled her success, which in turn allows her to propel the success of others through collaboration. I hope Calli can take this to heart and see her success as something that lifts others up, rather than something that takes away.
It's a shitty situation. Taking shit from the vocal minority that she got big only because she had corporate backing, whilst at the same time being shunned and alienated by peers and personal heroes for "selling out." The comedian Marc Maron once said "It's easy to maintain your integrity when no one is trying to buy it out." Calliope Mori, no, Demondice, saw a chance to make something on herself and took it. Her music is genuine. Her messages are said from behind a mask, an avatar, but so fucking what? You seen the pictures of her from the old days? Those videos from the Before Times? That's not "her" either. She's wearing a literal mask. She's making music behind animations. One could claim it was all hers, but not many cared. How hard are you going to grind to make it to the bottom? She did not step on anyone to get where she is now. She makes good music. She has good messages. She is in every way a trailblazer. She has done wonderful things and can live like a person, something that's becoming increasingly difficult. Calliope Mori needs to be reminded as often as possible that she should be proud of herself.
When calli said "i guess i just wanted some of them to be proud of me" It hit hard Sometimes You just wanna hug her adn say that youre proud but its all limited to chats I wish they would get their real hugs soon
Wow. Just getting into your music and hope you keep going. Not unrelated but I actually just saw a reaction to this song and Knox Hill pretty much called your intended meaning by those lines pretty spot on
I feel this but from the side of whoever it was that Calli feels like she left behind. I would be the jealous, spiteful one, I do that. I get angry when it seems like people who do less than me get seen more and it seems like it happens so often. If you're in a creative pursuit, you'd understand how it feels to think you're doing everything right and improving and still no one gives a damn.
Honestly, those people that were "Hurt" you surpassed them are shitty people. Anyone that's truly about the music and the art of it would be endlessly happy that you shot up in popularity.
A lot of people I know have been reliving some rough times through her song (in a good kinda way). It's a heavy song and it's clear she needed to get some stuff off her chest. I hope she feels better for it
Poor Calli, she really has a kind nature. I say this because I was in the other side. In my field, I have a friend who is less experienced than I and is getting better results than I. I have to admit that I was tempted to vent my frustration, but I quickly realized that it just won't be fulfilling and if I said that to him, he'd have the same reaction as Calli, so I just continue my path, trying to do what I can. It's normal to feel this way, but what you're going to do with your feelings is something only you can know. I just hope her friends (if they're still friends) can realize that, there are things that are beyond our control, luck plays a part in success, which creates unfair situations, but it's not everything and these unfair situations don't last forever. Success is fickle, what is successful today might be a failure tomorrow, so we have to do the better we can to manage what we have.
Yeah, success isn't fair, a huge part of being successful is getting lucky and hitting the right opportunity at the right time. Someone succeeding or failing ahead of you doesn't reflect positively or negatively on you. Don't be crabs in a bucket.
It really broke my heart hearing this live. Calli is really character heavy when it comes to her streams but she’s also one of the realist especially when it comes to her music, so to anyone watching this I would like for you to also watch the lyric dive. She really opened her heart and poured it all in this song, there’s a lot of things she tackled other than this when making it; toxic friendships, being out of touch with friends due to the pandemic, and a lot more. So yeah, it’s a really heavy stream, but it made the song so much special especially seeing it in her point of view.
Man, while I am a pretty emotional person I've yet to have a vtuber make me cry. But Calli did it with that...that "I wanted them to be proud of me" damn that punched me in the gut.
I guess I just wanted some of them to be proud of me” I get that, I feel the same way with my family and loved ones all the time, and sometimes it just eats me up inside.
I relate really well to just wanting my friends and family or idols to be proud of me in the things I’ve done. It sucks when you do something really cool and it seems like the only person proud of you is yourself. But I know the things I did were cool and I hope Calli and everyone else that feels the same way is able to also know they’re really cool and they’ve done awesome things. Sometimes you have to be your own cheerleader, but there’s also always someone else, even if they’re in the shadows, thatis really proud of you. We’re all proud of you, Calli, if you ever see this :D keep being the best you and we’ll keep being the best us, supporting each other along the way
As a lover of music I've seen it a million times that skillfull, passionate and talented people don't get they attention and recognition they deserve. But that is part of the game and that's also why - eventually - as a creator you have to do stuff you yourself are satisfied with. Because it's by any means not certain that your work will get the recognition it maybe deserves. There are a whole lot of factors that play into that cosmic throw of the dice in regards of becoming successfull. And yeah, life is not fair most of the times. And for the people on the bright side... All they can do is stay humble, conscientious, hard working and passionate. And if they do so, they should never feel the need to apologize for their success as long as they have the skills to back it up.
While I want to say Calli shouldn't be so harsh on herself, I also want to say that sometimes it's needed, and I am glad that she is being open about talking/singing about it, it makes things clearer for her and easier for us to understand her and support her.
Currently, end of life is my favourite song of Calli's and this is the first time I saw this, her talking about the meaning of her lyrics but the first time I heard end of life I felt the all the emotions she put into that song. Listening to it the first time I knew she put a lot into it and to me that's what makes a song great and powerful.
