can i relate to female fantasy characters? // finding myself in fantasy 

Great topic for a video! When I was 12, I wanted to be Aragorn. Now I'm in middle age, I just want to be Bilbo and enjoy the simple comforts of The Shire.

I've always felt it was odd when someone couldn't see past the physical characteristics of a fictional character in order to relate to them. It's a learned issue as well, since most kids have no issues playing make believe as someone who does not look like them. Great video, great points!

THIS... this is why fantasy and other works of fiction are so powerful, and anyone who says it's "silly" or a waste of time is so so wrong. These stories and characters provide a mirror through which we can see versions of ourselves in a fantastical, hopeful manner. And it's rarely a direct reflection, like you mentioned, but a mashup of different pieces and qualities between various characters who combine to form some sort of wholistic picture of the people we hope to be. And that, to me, is why I read and consume good stories. And why, hopefully, I will be able to do the same for others in my own writing. Thanks for sharing this, Tori!

Happy birthday! Interesting, I've never really thought of comparing myself to anyone I've read in a fantasy book. But then again, I've had a very oddball life up until 4-5 years ago, so who knows if someone like that even exists. Juliet Marillier's amazing, the main character you mentioned sounds a lot like the MC from the trilogy of hers I read recently, Blackthorn and Grim in terms of some of the challenges she faces. I just started Never Die and I'm digging it, I'm just past the opening sequence and I'm liking the 80's wuxia/kung fu vibe from some of the elements so far.

Fascinating. I'm glad you realized that you can relate to any fictional characters regardless of gender. I would add that you can relate to anyone regardless of ethnicity, culture, religion, etc. Hope you had a good birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TORI! 🎉 Sorry I’m a day late, but I hope you’re still celebrating. I always love the way you talk about characters as a reader who writes, and you chose some awesome female characters here!

Yessss! Yes, I was thinking for 7.5 minutes what you said at 7:33. It is not dependent on gender (or race or sexuality for that matter) to which characters we can relate. Because we relate to situations behaviours, personality characteristics etc. And yes sometimes because of gender and other stuff can add to that mix as well of course, so yay for representation. But it would help so much if we could stop emphasizing all these descriptors and feel free to just associate with the character that you vibe with or can empathize with.... Thanks for a fun and great video. Congrats on dinging 33 and on being so much more confident in these topics and coming out on the right end of your struggles.

Okay Tori but HOW are you so good at coherently rambling?!?! Absolutely loved this braindump, and don't mind me yelling "heeeeck yes, preach girl!" the entire way through lol. I relate so hard to everything you said here, and I think it is beautiful to hear your conclusion about just embracing the fact that we can relate to whatever type of character we want, no judgement. Also, thanks for all the recs!! I definitely want to get to Malazan and Never Die, seems like there will be so much to love for me there 🤩

"Sometimes we project onto these characters and hope they can tell us who we are." Amen Tori, I've dealt with something similar. I have struggled with the idea that I don't really know myself, even as much as I think about who I am and what I care about. I've found myself hoping that the books I read give me a deeper understanding of myself, and the best books often have revealed things about me that I hadn't considered before. Then again, that's what great art should do. Happy 33rd Tori, you are 10 years older than me, and a great video.

I've never understood why anyone needs to "find themselves" in any fiction book. I don't think that's ever once occurred to me. If I wanted to "see myself", I'd go look in the mirror. If I wanted to read my life, I'd look at my calendar/planner. The point of fiction (one of its points, anyway) should be to get out of our own heads. Happy birthday!

This was so incredibly powerful! I’ve never saw myself in characters growing up either so I adopted the idea of finding characteristics I could relate to or empathize with. Although, I understand the necessity for people to be able to see themselves in characters, especially after reading The Sword of Kaigen. I have never related to any character the way I related to Misaki

Happy birthday!! Btw, I watched Tori's 4k celebration stream and the topic of skirts came up. I really think Tori is lovely and cute even without all the bells and whistles of dressing up and adding makeup; I also think she'd be just adorable all dolled up. Either way, she's a smart cookie and a hottie. 😊😊

One third of a century. 33 years old. 33 trips around the Sun. You have traveled 19,273,000,000 miles.

Yes! Great video Tori! It doesn't matter who you relate to. You hit the nail on the head IMHO. Good characters are human. Regardless of any identity or label, we relate to them because of our shared experiences and empathy 😊

Love this video. Totally agree that relating to characters regardless of gender is something we should encourage and doesn't tend to come naturally to us at first. I remember relating to Vin from Mistborn and being a little taken aback before realizing that was dumb haha. Also Brienne is incredible 🔥

Happy Birthday Tori! You express yourself so well!

Happy birthday, Tori! You'd be surprised how little of a character Arwen actually is. She's more like a cardboard cut out that sometimes shows up and if you're lucky sometimes talks. Eowyn is a badass. Brienne of Tarth ❤ Love her to pieces. A badass in the ways that truly matter, she's just, loyal but she's kind and strong not just for herself but trying for the sake of others. I could maybe count on one hand the amount of male characters I relate to, if I'm lucky. If you wanted a young me, look at Simon in Tad Williams' Dragonbone Chair. An idiot with his head in the clouds 😅 Hell yeah, Malazan has no shortage of badass women, i use badass in a broad sense. Look forward to Daughter of the Forest. Not enough people talk about the women in LPQ! I think you've sold me on Sword of Kaigen and Never Die! Fine, I'll read We Are The Dead 🙄🤣 I'm critical of Red Rising (that may surprise you 😂), but the women by far are my favourite characters in the 4 books I've read.

Happy birthday! I loved this video, such a good topic to discuss. I had a similar experience as a girl growing up. And agreed, Malazan has some of the best women even written, plus I love how Erikson adds it in as it is a normal part of the world, I that makes sense

Great video Tori! Loved your exploration of finding yourself in characters and recommendations. Couldn’t agree more about nuanced characters no matter their gender.

Happy Birthday Tori! Another solid deep dive video!

Interesting topic! I dont think I've ever "related" to any characters - If anything, I think I enjoy reading about characters that are the most different from me. I tend to lean towards books with male MCs anyway, but I read as a form of pure entertainment and escapism. I hear reviewers talking about connecting with or relating to characters, and im like, what does that even mean?? 😆 but you helped me understand a bit! Happy Birthday 🎉

Happy Birthday! Very insightful and entertaining. I loved We Are the Dead and Yas is a great character among a lot of great characters to be honest.

As a fellow grew-up-tomboy gal, I appreciated your take on this and related to your feelings! ❤

This was a GREAT idea for a video. Thank you for sharing your journey. I can see this helping others along their own personal journey as well.

Happy birthday! And great video topic :)

Great insightful video and Happiest of Birthdays!!

YEAH! Brienne is the best. 😍 Hope you had a lovely birthday! 🎂

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2 of my favorite female fantasy characters are Stehlen from Manifest Delusions and Clare from Claymore. Clare is a cool take on the classic sword and sorcery protagonist, being dark and vengeful but kind and honorable at the same time. And Stehlen is just pure psychotic nightmare fuel that would scare most serial killers lol. She's oddly sympathetic and pitiful in her own way though, it makes sense why she's so broken and flawed. Grey Bastards, War for the Rose Throne, Black Company, Poppy War and Raven's Mark have some cool female leads too. In terms of anime and manga, series like Berserk, Claymore, Battle Angel Alita, Ergo Proxy, Black Lagoon, Serial Experiments Lain, Blade of the Immortal, Naoki Urasawa's Monster, Hellsing and Attack on Titan have much more interesting leading ladies imo.

What I do, maybe I'm mentally ill. But rather than directly identify as the characters I '"insert" myself into the story as an extra character usually alongside the protagonist. Like a companion or advisor. Character: "I think I'll open this chest, there could be treasure in it" Me: "I dunno man watch out it could be trapped" Character: "Ow! It was trapped! An arrow hit me!" Me: "told you so. You gotta listen to me more."

Hi 👋 congratulations 🥂 4K subscribers!! 🎉🎉

I came to watch this video especially cause I started a worldbuilding project and the story has some main characters, with the central character being a girl. However, I'm also a woman and I still didn't like her doing this role just cause "she is a woman" - I mean, when I imagined a male character in the same role, the story seemed better So I'm analyzing why I didn't like a female character in this role, what is the mental construction I have of female and male characters based on stories I consume, and what's missing in female protagonists in most of the existing stories lol In part, I realized that I didn't like a woman in this role of my story, cause she would be going to a focused/centered journey following in her brother's footsteps, and accompanied by a male friend. While the character in another location was a man who would make a good part of his journey alone, having a bit more fun and less focused in accomplishing serious things at first. So I'll probably change the roles, cause I like more if the female character is independent instead of depending so much on others, and it seems that there's a lack of women who can be powerful without having to be too serious and focused - this way she probably will be the type of female character that I want to identify with the most. But I'm still thinking cause this will affect other intentions that I have too 🤔 Anyway, I never minded that most of the amazing characters were male, but certainly this fact, added to the fact that many female protagonists are shallow, makes me look more for stories with male protagonists, or imagine and want to write more male characters, which it's sad.

I relate to this SO much. Narnia was the fist book I've read, I think, and Edmund was also the only character I liked or related to. And I also had the lifelong goal to find a relatable female character. I relate to the characters, when they have some specific traits that I have, and not the boring everyday things that pretty much everyone would relate to. And for some reason female characters have those relatively rare, unless it's something connected to stereotypical feminine traits e.g. shopping , makeup or something stereotypically masculine to defy expectations. And as someone not very feminine or masculine, I never really connected to any of them, even if they were characters that I liked. I think the main thing that alienates me is, so many female characters' arc is heavily connected with the fact that they ARE female. They need to prove, to themselves or to the society or to their family, that they can do something while being female, and I respect that, but it's not something that I relate to. There are still some female characters that I relate to, but they're the overwhelming minority in this case. I don't mind it, really, because every time I find someone it's an event lol.

Happy Birthday! My daughter (middle child) just turned 33 April 29th.

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I never understood this desire -- which seems more prevalent in women over men -- to see more representation and relatability in our escapism. I suspect it must be due in part to how women tend to be discriminated more than men in terms of their skillsets being taken seriously. After all, there's no unfortunate sentiment shared by a nontrivial fraction of the population that men belong in the kitchen, for example. In the same sense that I never expected let alone wished to find anyone looking like me on the cover of a fashion magazine, I neither sought nor desired any representation of someone like me -- let alone anyone I know -- in fantasy. I never sought such relatability or representation neither as a little boy nor now as an adult. I love fantasy characters who represent more a subset of who I wish to become rather than who I am. All my favorites tend to be rather idealized and exaggerated in that regard, like the towering and bronze-skinned Conan bound head-to-toe in muscle and indomitable willpower, so exceedingly unlike who I actually am. Admiring characters like him is what got me into the likes of arm wrestling, powerlifting, extreme sports, and martial arts, not because he represented me at all, but rather because he didn't at all and I wanted to become more like him. That is to say, Conan was a role model inspiring me to change and grow as a person, not someone I saw as reflecting me in the slightest. I think many of us guys don't seek validation and acceptance for who we are so much as a target to inspire us to change and grow into the people we want to become. When I was a teenager and seeking dating advice, I thoroughly disliked the validation type along the lines of, "You're perfect as you are; you just need to wait for that special someone." I much preferred the practical advice: "Lift weights, dress better, get a haircut, work harder, get your act together." I suspect this is something that generally and sociologically distinguishes the sexes, on the average, on the spectrum of desiring compelling reasons _not to_ change vs. desiring compelling reasons _to_ change, between changing the world around us vs. changing ourselves. My ultimate ensemble of beloved characters is in Star Trek: TNG (the empathic and sensitive Deanna Troi, the warrior-like and honor-bound Worf, the diplomatic but firm Picard, the nurturing but strong Beverly Crusher, the charming but level-headed Riker, and so forth), and I find them completely alien in representation to me or anyone else I know. They're far too principled, far too mature, far too professional, and work far too well together to even remotely represent anyone I've ever known. They all represent facets of who I want to become; they inspire me to change above all else to become more like them, and I never understood the desire to see such characters become more like me. I'm very thankful that they didn't. The last thing I want to see in my escapism are characters who remind me too much of people I know. I look to fantasy to discover people I _wish_ I knew.

Relating to characters is overrated. I've only "related" to chars maybe three times in thirty years and they've all been men (I'm a woman). I like characters who are not like me, I've already met myself, give me different people pls! lol

No its stupid. I never understood finding ourseleves in make beleive. I am me. I dony find myself in strangers espeically make beleive ones. Its weird. Makes me think yall need to make more friends