I totally hear that. It’s more of that in combination with everything that he had said up to that point. Plus, he comes off as someone very self-centered. He literally ruined his supposed bff’s beach day so she could listen to a song he wrote about himself.
Ari had a lot of red flags throughout this vid but this specific quote wasn't one of them IMO, I feel the same way sometimes. it can take a lot out of me to respond to texts and call people back and arrange plans. sometimes, me just being there is the best I can offer, and even tho I wish I was capable of more, I can can only hope the ppl in my life will see that I'm trying and giving them the most I can because I love them.
Ari didn't even take a step to hug Nina at the very end 😭😭. All of the other friends met each other halfway for the hug, but Ari stood still and Nina ran all the way to HIM. Kinda symbolizes their friendship in a sense 😂.
"I wrote a song for you... well, actually it's about me for you... well it's for me and I want you to listen to it, but I also won't say any of this" *fuckboi laugh*
i'm glad other people picked up on this. i was so confused when they didn't address that further, like hold on: you were in a relationship, misrepresenting the situation to your partner (meaning you knew they may not be happy with it being just the two of you) and something almost happened?? and this is the partner you're now engaged to?? I'm wondering if this is something her and her partner have since talked about and worked through; it would be wild of them to find out through a jubilee video otherwise also lmao at him talking about this in the middle of how great she was at setting boundaries 😭
No I thought this at first too but he actually said a past girl friend didn’t bring her boyfriend (now fiance), he said Mary Anne always did and always set that boundary.
It's representative, I'm sure. People just tend to suck more often than not, simple as that. Also, the sorts of people signing up for this are at least partially the attention seeking sort, which can skew things.
@@Taylorswiftarmpitsweat A guy having PDF file facial hair, without regs forcing it, is pretty sketchy. Just noticed he's wearing womens shoes and earrings too. But on the other hand, she admitted she doesn't regulate her emotions and is getting run through. They're both equally awful, but in different ways.
Yeah, you eaither immediately talk about those feelings or force yourself to move on. You can't be a supportive unconditional friend if you can't cheer them on in life including their romantic relationships.
No! Who are you to make rules? The best relationships start from friendships because you've already established a strong emotional connection with that person. This component is what's lacking in many modern relationships today leading to breakups and divorces.
He literally said “ I can weaponize obliviousness” then turns around and says “oh no I had no idea she liked me even tho we had sex twice”🙃 LETS BFFR…. Niva needs to love on herself more and close her “open book-ness” a little
@@hislord1 Ah yes, "women". Anybody who makes such a braindead blanket statement is hard to take seriously. He's doing a terrible thing, that some women also do. Women can't do it, nobody said it was ok, and it similarly isn't ok for him. You're actually the only one normalising it to push your "women bad" narrative. Stop.
It's quite ironic that NJ finds it weird for his female friends not to bring their partners when hanging out with him, considering he openly confessed to hitting on friends who were already in relationships. talk about a double standard
Just from the short bits I saw from him I feel like I know this personality type. He probably trashes and of his "friends" boyfriends but he doesn't have the balls to make a move so he just kind of sits on the sidelines and seethes. As the women get older and start dating more mature men the guys are gonna force him out of the picture because dudes with life experience know his type.
!! although he denied this in the video, i feel like he already knew she had a thing for him and just pretended to be oblivious to take advantage of her feelings and fjck around..
In short, Nick and Lexi are perfect, Abdullah and Kendall need work, NJ and Mary-Anne moreso, and Ari's irredeemable and it's insane that Nina hasn't totally ditched the mf, almost entirely because he makes music.
Ari and Nina should probably leave it alone... they slept together TWICE, they not on the same page as much as the rest of these friendships. I want Nick and Lexi to stay friends forever.
There's two type of people in this world people who see sex as whatever and some that think it's this spiritual thing. Type B usually judges type A like crazy. I agree I don't see any toxic traits from him so far. He seems straightforward.
you can think of it as helping each other out but I suppose it really doesn’t work out, as I did this with a girl friend of mine and she went crazy saying I was hers and only hers.. 😳
@@njyazon7300since you were there I’d like to ask you this question: what did you think of ari and his personality? Also your thoughts on Abdullah’s situation🤔.
@@PrincessLioness The term “Dark Triad” refers to a trio of negative personality traits-narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy-which share some common malevolent features. The construct was coined by researchers Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams in 2002.
I agree. It sounds like he is doing it to other women too. It was revealed he is now with someone who he won't discuss feelings with and she adviced him it would get 'messy'. She should take her own advice and run. He is emotionally void and looking for narcissistic supply
Nina is in love with Ari. He doesn't care about her. When this friendship breaks, my girl will be heartbroken. she needs to let go. I was in a very similar friendship for 3 years. I loved him completely and truly I would've done anything for him but I just had to let it go. We don't talk anymore and it hurts sometimes when I see him but it does get better. Nina deserves more. Nina deserves better.
Do you ever see them still? Or are they completely not in your life? One of my closest friends - I used to have feelings for him or I wonder if I sometimes do. I don't think we would work out in a relationship, I could say for a few reasons but also I think probably because maybe I have stronger feelings for him than he does about me (platonic and romantic feelings). I resonate with what you said - there was a time where we were in a complicated situation, we both got hurt (though it was also partially an outside person messing with and lying about stuff that caused it) but I still came back to him - and thinking about it now, if he something happened again, my instinct would be to try and repair things because I think I just care about/love him that much. I think he loves and cares about me too, but in a different way and on a different level. I don't want to cut him out of my life because him being in my life brings me happiness, also because he's kind of at the center of a loose group of friends we're in. I have wondered if it would be for the best though, maybe not now bur after I graduate college or down the line, to distance myself from him. Do you have any advice - seems like you might've been in a similar situation?
@@annaburgooohey girl I’ve been busy with exams but yeah I see him. I see him a lot. We have the same friend group so I have to see him when we r all hanging out together. He’s also class president so I see him in meetings. It used to hurt so much because being around him made me so so happy but I had to take this step. I had to confront him and I had to cut him off because I realised I loved him too much and he loved me too less. For him the friendship was convenient and to me it was everything. I wasn’t ready to believe it till I cut him off and when I did I was terrified that all the things that we did together I would have no one to do with. I made peace with it I decided my dignity was more important than my happiness and honestly it all fell into place. I found new people I started doing the things I was so afraid of doing alone. I have a chance to other people. I still miss him sometimes and I wonder if he does too. I don’t know if he does but I also don’t think how he could not. Id be lying if I said I don’t hope that he does. I don’t understand how he could not listen to Noah kahan and not think about me, how he could read Cat and not think about me, how he could look at the drawing I made him for his 17th and not think about me ? But life’s been better and brighter ever since. It’s fresh. I broke it off in feb but it hurts a lot sometimes. I hâte who i was around him. I hate how pathetic he made me. I never want to be that again. And if the cost of not hating myself is not being his best friend then I’ve made my choice. My instagrams @shanzayy_shah if you want to talk I’m always here ❤
i also think it works a lot better if you feel almost like siblings, but friendships can take multiple form and i think there is not just one answer to what friendship look like
@@darkkforest no, there's nothing wrong if you combine the 2, actually it's perfect that way, it just feels wrong if you have a WIFE, AND then you have another FEMALE BEST FRIEND, got it?
@@tr4sh.doll_ well, I think it's just the matter if you're a considerate and decent person or not: knowing enough is enough, and treat others the way you want to be treated! Our greedy human tendency is that we always want more if we can, whether it's materials, friendship, people we find attractive to and want to partner with etc.., I'm sure everyone of us find MORE THAN ONE person on Earth attractive. But, should we involve with both or more of them romantically? If yes, would we feel comfortable having them also involve with other people at the same time? If you look at the whole picture, it's nothing more than a pigsty where everyone entangles like a messy cobweb! I respect/value my PRIVACY and don't want to become a pig, so I only allow myself to involve with only 1 person and learn to be loyal and respectful to that special person, becoz I love her but also becoz I want to be treated (respected) the same way! Having more experiences (be with more than one) isn't actually better than having LESS but QUALIFIED experience! That's just how I see it, if you're gonna have ambiguous relationship, expect your spouse to also have ambiguous ones, and a messy web of relationship more than dramatic!
@@futuswag593I don’t think it’s that hard. I’m a female and i have 2 male bestfriends that I’ve been friends with for 12-15 years and nothing ever happened. They just chose people in weird situationships that have only known eachother a couple years and probably never had a relationship and always had an attraction from the start.
I don't know but from my experiences, having had male friends is not easy. There's always some kind of tension between us, even when I was clear about my boundaries and rules. I stopped having male friends years ago and I'm mentally free of stress and it's much better this way.
Even today , if youre gonna ask guys if a straight guy and girl can be just friends , they'd say no , but ask any girl and she'd say it's defo possible to be just friends
Instead of chastising men and women for developing feelings, understand that this is how many people are wired. They are called demisexuals and demiromantics. So again, why try to stop it? The attitude that developing feelings for friends is somehow wrong or something to be avoided is allonormativity. It is normal and healthy for demisexuals and demiromantics, because this is how we are naturally wired. The issue is ignorant, bigoted attitudes on the part of allonormative society.
@@Ghostrider-ul7xnFeelings are natural, but some don't want to feel those feelings 😂 Others know that logically those feelings don't make sense or would not work realistically
I'm actually confused why he's still trying, do they not know he's on the flamboyant side ? Maybe she does, that would explain why she's not attracted. Dude has got to at least present masculine enough not to confuse people on whether or not he's gay, let alone get to the point where she could be attracted to him.
This world doesn't understand the difference between platonic love/intimacy and romantic. It's sad and it's why we are all so starved for community and affection.
well sadly for you im a clinical psychologist. And saying he is a narcissistic is not diagnosing him, its merely pointing to his alarming behavior. I didnt say he had NPD.@@soandso5058
@@Luke_2828 he literally has traits of a narcissist. how else would you describe someone whos self-centred, emotionally unavailable, has difficulty considering the other person's side of things, weaponises obliviousness and takes advantage of someone elses feelings for them? Saying someone is narcissistic isn't a diagnosis, theres a difference between someone having narcissistic traits like Ari so obviously does and having a narcissistic personality disorder
Yea, once you find out all the gross stuff about women, you look for a new one that you don't know too much about 😂They all have nasty pasts that would turn ANYONE off, haha
@@nicolejuli857 She admitted to other histrionic behavioral patterns in the video. There is nothing mature or self aware about her, other than being to men what her friend is to women.
@@FerretCuddles Ironic that you're calling somebody out for behaving like a redditor, when that's... literally you personified. Every damn word you say is pretentious af. I mean "sophistry"? Chill out. And nobody can perfectly regulate their emotions, that phrase alone is... nothing. So defending yourself by saying she said other questionable things isn't too relevant, that's not what the original comment says.
This group does not exemplify platonic male/female friendships. The questions focus on sex only furthers the negative stigma surrounding hetero friendships, and how toxic men/misogynists weaponize this stigma to control the friendships and social life of female partners. The episode could have had multiple friendships with at least one if not both individuals who were queer. The producers could have introduced questions that offered the opportunity to express how these friendships offer value both regardless of gender and because of opposite gender. They didn’t need to come back so often to physical intimacy or sex to maintain the stigma. Most of the individuals here are either toxic themselves and/or toxic in their friendship and don’t represent healthy social behaviours like boundaries and communication. For example, one of the hallmarks to a platonic friendship to not be objectified physically or sexually by your friend, which is maintained through healthy boundaries and the breakdown of toxic masculinity and gender roles.
Completely agree with everything you said. The stigma around this is already so annoying, so I was hoping this video would be illuminating for some people that have issues with platonic relationships, but if anything, this video will just make those people even more skeptical.
sry but if you hooked up with them that is not your best friend. If the friendship is not maintainable if you were to enter an actual relationship, then that's a situationship. Lordhavemercy
Nina if you read this please run! You probably thing all these comments on the internet are so off but his vibe is fully off. He’s just using you for comfort, and to have a beautiful girl around. I met so many Po, light that in the night life/art world. You need to find a real best friend. I know somewhere within yourself you just feel something is off. Even if you want to deny it
Yes he is giving strong narcistic vibes. Who knows what she been through, unfortunately some people had traumatic childhood and fail to see the danger signs before others. She needs to listen to the well meaning people here and ditch him before he wrecks her life and mental health.
when are women going to realize that sleeping with a guy will never make him get on one knee and propose to you. you never benefit from a hook up or situation ship.
As someone who has two male besties this is not the representation I was thinking. Some of these relationships had me cringing. I love both of my best friendly dearly and I hope people don’t think this representation of male/female friendship is.
I need someone to explain to me what "i know too much about _____ to date them." means. It was said in the video and people keep saying it in the comments. If you know everything there is to know about someone and you still accept them, that seems like the perfect person to be with.
@Whirlbee I hear you, but that doesn't sound like the same thing at all. "Our values and motivations contradict, but I still want to be friends" makes way more sense than "I know you too well." I would think you would want to know your partner super well.
Funny isn't it? But the more you meet people, the more you realise it's true. Most people suck, you don't wanna know too much, it spoils the inevitable surprise. Keeping the worst parts hidden is what allows for relationships to thrive temporarily. Then in marriage the issues slowly sprout, and as such, many marriages fail, and many of the remainder are struggling.
😂Freaking Nj lol … Also they cut my full explanation but I said it wasn’t really feelings but a connection I couldn’t explain at the time because it was new. Now I know that it was sibling energy. I’m an only child so it was new for me 😅
Ari mf said “he should’ve been here” as if he knew wtf was going on in another persons life lmao. Someone tell bro we’re not in the 70’s anymore try hard ahh lil bro
Let me say this, I think men and women can be friends, but best friends that share intimate secrets with one another? No way. The only exception would be if one or both parties are homosexual. As a guy, I’ve tried the whole best friend platonic thing with girls (I am currently not dating as I have major issues with work-life balance and don’t want to drag a girl into it). Whenever I’ve tried it, 10/10 times the girl falls for me. Then things get weird when she see I don’t like her, then the friendship ends. That is my experience anyway.
