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Capitalist A$MR 

Ephemeral Rift
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You have a visit from Caucasian Businessman ©®™ who brings to you what he brought to market: the most exquisite Capitalist Tingles ©®™ to help you relax, sleep and experience the finest in Capitalist A$MR ©®™.
00:02:30 Capitalist A$MR Eligibility Questionnaire ©®™
00:10:44 Calming Capitalist Hand Motions ©®™
00:15:25 Capitalist Trigger Words (Now with Flash Cards!) ©®™
00:23:40 Capitalist Money ©®™
00:29:38 Capitalist Wallet ©®™
00:31:58 Barry, EVP of Capitalist Operations ©®™
00:36:00 Capitalist Tie ©®™
00:38:28 Capitalist Suit ©®™
00:41:08 Capitalist Cheese in a Can ©®™
00:44:40 Capitalist Bottled Water ©®™
00:50:23 Capitalist Smart Phone ©®™
00:54:12 The Chains of Capitalism ©®™
00:58:45 Capitalist Bubble Wrap ©®™
01:03:37 Capitalist Dollar Sign Balloon ©®™
The Copyright, Unregistered and Registered Trademark symbols are Copyright, Unregistered and Registered Trademarks of Capitalism, Inc LLC. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use or reproduction will result in a history lesson of the positive impact of Capitalism on society and the planet.
Be a good capitalist and support my work on Patreon if you're old enough and have enough spare capital to your name, otherwise save your money and work on enriching your own life: ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
You can listen to selected works outside of RU-vid:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Google Play ► bit.ly/1vPUJgF
And others like Deezer, Rhapsody, etc!
Podcasts:
EphemRadio ► apple.co/2afSkZQ
Arkham Sanitarium ►apple.co/2alraeV
Social Media:
Facebook ► / ephemeralrift1
Twitter ► / ephemeralrift
IG ► / e.rift
What is ASMR? It is both a sensation and a medium.
ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response and is the current, non-scientific name given to the feeling characterized as a pleasurable tingling sensation felt in the head, scalp, back and other regions of the body in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and/or cognitive stimuli, such as crinkling bags, hand movements, whispering, personal attention or watching someone perform a task. It's like goosebumps, but much more pleasant.
ASMR videos are meant to intentionally help induce this sensation, also referred to as "tingles", but also provide a relaxing, calming, soothing, therapeutic and even entertaining experience for the viewer.
Many people who do not experience ASMR still enjoy the videos for their calming and sleepy effect.

Опубликовано:

 

24 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 6 тыс.   
@khoirulanam9141
@khoirulanam9141 5 лет назад
"Money cant buy happiness, But poverty cant buy anything"
@bobbzkap4507
@bobbzkap4507 4 года назад
Holy
@snekkysnekk
@snekkysnekk 4 года назад
14 year old girls: ThAtS DeEp!
@serhatdogruyol540
@serhatdogruyol540 4 года назад
but communism can
@fatjuicytaco
@fatjuicytaco 4 года назад
I think you mean _Money©️®️™️_
@theburningtankman9411
@theburningtankman9411 4 года назад
Amen
@catoonz
@catoonz 5 лет назад
Capitalist ASMR: 1M views Communist ASMR: 1.1M views. Cold War II: *Starts*
@GrandOvertureLaughter
@GrandOvertureLaughter 5 лет назад
NOT ON MY WATCH FOR THE MOTHERLAND SCREW THIS
@pisinwallax9432
@pisinwallax9432 5 лет назад
Capitalism always wins.
@Nick-nl8tu
@Nick-nl8tu 5 лет назад
TRUMP SUPPORTER not so fast
@oteletampis7513
@oteletampis7513 5 лет назад
@@pisinwallax9432 if ephemeral rift was the leader of the ussr maybe capitalism would have lost
@Zoorty_
@Zoorty_ 5 лет назад
Now both got 100k views more
@SuperCommando48
@SuperCommando48 7 лет назад
"Why are you watching a businessman in a suit whisper to you?" "Tax evasion."
@eascide
@eascide 7 лет назад
Taxes? FO’ MEEE?!?!?!?! LEMME GET MR WHISPER TELLING ME TO BUY SHIT IN MY EAR OVER HERE FUCK YOUR TAXES
@YeaBuddibq
@YeaBuddibq 7 лет назад
"Marine Crops" 🤣🤣
@connellnaysmith6577
@connellnaysmith6577 6 лет назад
Cuz we can
@oggiedog911
@oggiedog911 6 лет назад
Idk what’s better, that joke or the fact that I’m number 420 to like it and I’m super high...
@inflatablemattress2
@inflatablemattress2 6 лет назад
YeaBuddibq Untied status Marin crops
@meatgod7690
@meatgod7690 5 лет назад
When you get your first pay check.
@kimjongil1069
@kimjongil1069 4 года назад
You get no paycheck!!!!
@abandonedlmao9433
@abandonedlmao9433 4 года назад
@@kimjongil1069 what are you doing here Get out korean capitalist
@vinnie2874
@vinnie2874 4 года назад
Korean communist*
@worztbeats8189
@worztbeats8189 4 года назад
@@abandonedlmao9433 you get out communist.
@joemomma2629
@joemomma2629 4 года назад
😂😂😂😂
@paperjokesstudios1238
@paperjokesstudios1238 5 лет назад
*Mr.Krabs has joined the chat*
@legendarysavage4301
@legendarysavage4301 5 лет назад
lol
@MoskHotel
@MoskHotel 5 лет назад
*Hotel Moscow has left the chat*
@Mr.Animemeguy
@Mr.Animemeguy 5 лет назад
16:04
@alexunknown8417
@alexunknown8417 5 лет назад
ARE YOU FEELING IT NOW MR. KRABS?
@paulocanecarlthedamnjohnson
@paulocanecarlthedamnjohnson 5 лет назад
666th like here
@dingledongus
@dingledongus 4 года назад
As a wise crab once said "Money money money money"
@yuriang_8050
@yuriang_8050 3 года назад
lol
@Duckathan
@Duckathan 3 года назад
I could hear his voice clear as day.
@BustahWulf
@BustahWulf 3 года назад
Who is so wise in the way of money
@enclave5901
@enclave5901 3 года назад
Mister crabs chased a penny for A WHOLE 6 HOURS
@cheesjsnajajanna7791
@cheesjsnajajanna7791 3 года назад
ghandi?
@pineskulltree
@pineskulltree 4 года назад
Villagers when they see you with a pack of emeralds:
@DayTripper44925
@DayTripper44925 4 года назад
Hmmm
@LautyHobo
@LautyHobo 4 года назад
I'm 69th like nice
@Painfullish
@Painfullish 3 года назад
But you say no, Golem:Omae wa mou shindeiru
@levimccarthy1259
@levimccarthy1259 3 года назад
Underrated
@weirdalyn5932
@weirdalyn5932 3 года назад
It's free real estate
@pedrojuan8050
@pedrojuan8050 4 года назад
0:43 brits explaining themselves to the natives
@seatray_real
@seatray_real 3 года назад
What natives of UK colonies think: "i am buisnessman" What they get: "listen to relaxing sound of my *ak47* "
@kenny5577
@kenny5577 3 года назад
Lol as a Brit this is actually funny
@PeterGriffin-jq7vf
@PeterGriffin-jq7vf 3 года назад
As a funny this is actually Brit
@aforasmr807
@aforasmr807 3 года назад
@@seatray_real Eh? Are you saying the brits used AK47’s to colonise? 😂
@TheKaunonster
@TheKaunonster 3 года назад
As a brit I approve also
@CyanSkydeREAL
@CyanSkydeREAL 6 лет назад
Mr Krabs goes to sleep to this.
@diegog.8635
@diegog.8635 6 лет назад
Skyler 777 It is DE WEY to go to sleep, after all.
@diegog.8635
@diegog.8635 6 лет назад
Sir Noba How can you tell i haven't been, already? BTW i'm PRETTY sure this guy had a Ugandan Knuckles picture when i made the comment
@sirnoba5507
@sirnoba5507 6 лет назад
oh, well it is only slightly more forgivable. we won't sterilize you, but we still sending you to the gulag.
@Dev00163
@Dev00163 6 лет назад
I think u mean mr kreebs
@Влаадимирдыдыр
@Влаадимирдыдыр 6 лет назад
)
@Oh_God_not_him_again
@Oh_God_not_him_again 6 лет назад
Leaked Footage: EA headquarters meeting
@Blase_
@Blase_ 5 лет назад
*looking through the comments sees good EA meme 👌🏽😂*
@oskarboman
@oskarboman 5 лет назад
Edit it to : Plotwist...
@u121386
@u121386 5 лет назад
Yes, Excellent....
@Velursal
@Velursal 5 лет назад
*_You need to pay $5.00 to watch this video._*
@dustchain
@dustchain 5 лет назад
I shall not
@kxmode
@kxmode 5 лет назад
Microtransactions confirmed!
@uhhcallmejefe
@uhhcallmejefe 5 лет назад
Boooiwonder why’d you put a dot in and leave out 4 zeroes
@Velursal
@Velursal 5 лет назад
Friendly Fred because i’m an idiot
@saffron6870
@saffron6870 5 лет назад
Fair
@nerkdurgen5574
@nerkdurgen5574 4 года назад
I feel like I'm getting relaxed and scammed at the same time.
@314pwr
@314pwr 4 года назад
Call it a Relaxing scam
@RyanGV
@RyanGV 4 года назад
That's how your supposed to feel
@NomadTheProtogen
@NomadTheProtogen 4 года назад
They help you sleep then put a million ads in your dreams.
@hakaandavor2789
@hakaandavor2789 4 года назад
Ryan G.V. *you’re
@spenceroni1738
@spenceroni1738 4 года назад
Your getting scammed energy and gaven relaxation
@themanwithcereal7998
@themanwithcereal7998 7 лет назад
"How much is in your wallet?" Me: I can't afford a wallet
@deathmetalpotato
@deathmetalpotato 7 лет назад
The Man With Cereal Top Kek 👍
@elvirajanblack1714
@elvirajanblack1714 7 лет назад
The Man With Cereal yet you can afford cereal
@deadangel03
@deadangel03 7 лет назад
I agree
@deadangel03
@deadangel03 7 лет назад
Elvira Jan Black how do u not afford cereal? Or a wallet lol wut
@cjones4518
@cjones4518 7 лет назад
The Man With Cereal The breakfast is strong here.
@karateka9541
@karateka9541 7 лет назад
"Hello. I am Caucasian Businessman." Nice to meet you, I'm French Baguetteman. I look forward to capitalising on many baguettes.
@lunarbishop3633
@lunarbishop3633 6 лет назад
Underrated comment
@StriderOwO
@StriderOwO 6 лет назад
Well hello French Baguetteman, I am Italian Pastaman. I'm sure you can guess what I plan on doing.
@mawgans.9646
@mawgans.9646 6 лет назад
Karateka95 Hello, I am portuguese what-the-fuck-do-portuguese-do man, I intend on trying to force you wealthy capitalists to fund my wtf does portugal do birth control for pastel nata campaign.
@eascide
@eascide 6 лет назад
Hello, I am Colombian Drugman (not actually). I'm excited for you guys to start foaming from the mouths at my 300$+ drugs.
@GoliMeadow
@GoliMeadow 6 лет назад
Hello, I am Canadian Syrupman. I shall help you recognize the best Maple syrup for only 199.99$
@nat1110
@nat1110 7 лет назад
For tho$e on mobile: 00:02:30 Capitalist A$MR Eligibility Questionnaire ©®™ 00:10:44 Calming Capitalist Hand Motions ©®™ 00:15:25 Capitalist Trigger Words (Now with Flash Cards!) ©®™ 00:23:40 Capitalist Money ©®™ 00:29:38 Capitalist Wallet ©®™ 00:31:58 Barry, EVP of Capitalist Operations ©®™ 00:36:00 Capitalist Tie ©®™ 00:38:28 Capitalist Suit ©®™ 00:41:08 Capitalist Cheese in a Can ©®™ 00:44:40 Capitalist Bottled Water ©®™ 00:50:23 Capitalist Smart Phone ©®™ 00:54:12 The Chains of Capitalism ©®™ 00:58:45 Capitalist Bubble Wrap ©®™ 01:03:37 Capitalist Dollar Sign Balloon ©®™ Tingle On!!
@supahotfire9824
@supahotfire9824 7 лет назад
Nathan Hill yes I love you bro keep being great
@bookmulch7379
@bookmulch7379 7 лет назад
You provide a free service. I would normally thank you but you are a disgrace to capitalism
@domobrah2671
@domobrah2671 7 лет назад
Each like gives you 10 cents, courtesy of Like n' Pay 💰
@SnoFitzroy
@SnoFitzroy 7 лет назад
F🅾r tho$e on mo🅱ile
@Squiggypie
@Squiggypie 7 лет назад
Thanks man. I appreciate it.
@undermedian8558
@undermedian8558 4 года назад
Not gonna lie he looks like someone from a Mafia City Ad
@Painfullish
@Painfullish 3 года назад
Underrated.
@WaterDragonGames4
@WaterDragonGames4 3 года назад
that's how mafia works
@somebodylikesbacon1960
@somebodylikesbacon1960 3 года назад
Level 35 ASMR Boss
@TheKaunonster
@TheKaunonster 3 года назад
@@WaterDragonGames4 corecction: how capitalism works.
@distant1334
@distant1334 3 года назад
Italian people are Caucasian
@mohnjayer
@mohnjayer 6 лет назад
This guy usually has a wedding ring on and I can never stop thinking about what his wife thinks about him doing not just asmr, but pretty esoteric, weird asmr. Please do a Q&A with her so she can explain what she tells her friends that you do in your free time.
@mr.nazareth4501
@mr.nazareth4501 6 лет назад
she probably helps edit or something or she could be into it hey i don't judge
@toniahtiainen6839
@toniahtiainen6839 6 лет назад
Yeah😂
@yomamastacos2123
@yomamastacos2123 6 лет назад
Commenter McCommentFace well if she lets him put their son in occasionally, im sure she's fine with all of the ASMR stuff
@MrFlyersfan28
@MrFlyersfan28 6 лет назад
Commenter McCommentFace it’s not that weird compared to others, also with the amount of money he makes off RU-vid I’m sure his wife is fine with it
@vladf9708
@vladf9708 6 лет назад
Why do you care Bob sagat
@justintansley3988
@justintansley3988 6 лет назад
16:04 When i find 1$ on the road
@aturkthatisntannationaliat8010
m o n e y m o n e y m o n e y
@xody5682
@xody5682 5 лет назад
Я ору
@armchairphilosopher6880
@armchairphilosopher6880 5 лет назад
whales hail mary mallon
@IgorGutman
@IgorGutman 5 лет назад
)))))))))))))
@ほだ冕匙ぇ
@ほだ冕匙ぇ 5 лет назад
Stonks
@datboihans8109
@datboihans8109 7 лет назад
The irony if this video was demonitized
@Deuce-xj2xl
@Deuce-xj2xl 7 лет назад
Major Callofguy heyoo
@Justin-un7nx
@Justin-un7nx 6 лет назад
Communist youtube does not approve
@levvy3006
@levvy3006 6 лет назад
They should put an add every 5 minutes for the full capitalist experience
@insignificantindividual
@insignificantindividual 6 лет назад
youtube doesnt like people talkin shit
@excuseme1975
@excuseme1975 6 лет назад
Capitalism will fall... Fascism Communism F O R L I F E
@mr.finance4401
@mr.finance4401 5 лет назад
Me: *falls over* My friend: are you ok? Me: yeah i just scraped 16:04
@umakemefeelspecialll
@umakemefeelspecialll 4 года назад
Charlie Farquharson 💀💀
@toastedlilbuns
@toastedlilbuns 4 года назад
Underrated
@angry3195
@angry3195 4 года назад
this is an awful joke i love it
@CBCsolar
@CBCsolar 4 года назад
Me at first: this dude dumb Me after realizing the joke: He pulled a uno reverse on me. *shit*
@Buttwipe-nc9br
@Buttwipe-nc9br 4 года назад
Lol
@hardcorealpha7924
@hardcorealpha7924 5 лет назад
"one of the most challenging parts of meditation, is having our ad loudly interrupt your ASMR video" -Headspace, 2018
@BelligerentKnight2481
@BelligerentKnight2481 4 года назад
Headspace ads still kickin in late 2019
@snekkysnekk
@snekkysnekk 4 года назад
Hugh Chungus yuuupp
@crossthekxng943
@crossthekxng943 4 года назад
All too fucking real
@yourmomsafurry1971
@yourmomsafurry1971 4 года назад
@@BelligerentKnight2481 headspace ads are still around
@secureinactive4750
@secureinactive4750 4 года назад
The rainday antiques one wasn't so bad
@lildrace8357
@lildrace8357 7 лет назад
Him: I am Caucasian business man Me: shut up and take my money
@Gustavoenderdragon
@Gustavoenderdragon 6 лет назад
lol
@stevewinkleburg5300
@stevewinkleburg5300 6 лет назад
Alabama
@thiccomniman
@thiccomniman 5 лет назад
He didn’t even say “a Caucasian businessman.” Is his name Caucasian Businessman?
@2AKgym
@2AKgym 5 лет назад
I don't think he is Caucasian
@vancejacks473
@vancejacks473 4 года назад
Thank you for the Pink Floyd "Money" Intro. A true man of culture indeed.
@genericspacemarine6698
@genericspacemarine6698 3 года назад
ngl i expected the rest of the song to play
@legopop382
@legopop382 3 года назад
@@genericspacemarine6698 same
@pimpsonparade
@pimpsonparade 3 года назад
I think the cash register sound is what tipped me off. Creatively, I don't think there is another ASMR channel on the same level as Uncle E.
@gamecop2191
@gamecop2191 3 года назад
@@pimpsonparade no way he’s one of a kind. Top tier upper echelon. Honestly he kinda goes beyond ASMR
@ranenyeo126
@ranenyeo126 2 года назад
Took me 5 replays to realise that he was singing the bass riff . I think I may be a bit tone deaf
@henryy9227
@henryy9227 4 года назад
Doctors hate him Surveys look for him Women want to be with him Caucasian rich man
@oliverbluebug
@oliverbluebug 4 года назад
*caucasian business man
@henryy9227
@henryy9227 4 года назад
@@oliverbluebug what's the difference
@oliverbluebug
@oliverbluebug 4 года назад
Simple idk nothing,, it’s just not what he said
@MB-qf2gq
@MB-qf2gq 4 года назад
Why Caucasian?
@henryy9227
@henryy9227 4 года назад
@@MB-qf2gq because surveys are racist
@OcarinaOftimeFan2020
@OcarinaOftimeFan2020 7 лет назад
I used to have trouble sleeping and having trouble on the job, but now with Capitalist Tingles©®(tm), I can become a benefited member of society and fellow capitalist! Thanks Caucasian Businessman©®(tm)!
@theroyalcourt8225
@theroyalcourt8225 7 лет назад
Ocarina Gaming What about Communist tingles Tingles for everyone regardless of job or class Cause there is no class
@a_stupid_channel.
@a_stupid_channel. 2 года назад
@@theroyalcourt8225 Nah communism sucks
@FoxyWhispers
@FoxyWhispers 5 лет назад
“How much is in your bank account right now?” *Silence*
@somemf6134
@somemf6134 4 года назад
Yeah gotta conseal my supresors somehow for my school presabtation
@nesttitanofficial7487
@nesttitanofficial7487 4 года назад
Pimples zero blackheads zero money in my bank account ZERO
@octopie6887
@octopie6887 3 года назад
Sad kaching noises
@Hug02002
@Hug02002 3 года назад
:(
@averongodoffire8098
@averongodoffire8098 3 года назад
*scribles “dirt poor”*
@fabiancovarrubias8710
@fabiancovarrubias8710 5 лет назад
"I am caucasian business man" I love it
@marcustulliuscicero8279
@marcustulliuscicero8279 4 года назад
@OX XY cool it with the anti semetic remarks
@jp3452
@jp3452 4 года назад
OX XY hows that anti semetic?
@andrej7840
@andrej7840 4 года назад
@@jp3452 you arent redpilled.
@jp3452
@jp3452 4 года назад
Jizzless ?
@sophieplumbob2900
@sophieplumbob2900 4 года назад
Jizzless Redpilled? Okay sweetie.
@ameme8277
@ameme8277 4 года назад
I have no money in my wallet. Who even has that anymore? Everyone knows the best way to flaunt your wealth is through carrying a sack of gold bars to use in place of dollars.
@blitzkrieg7353
@blitzkrieg7353 4 года назад
The real capitali$t life
@NerdStuffing
@NerdStuffing 4 года назад
Nah real capitalists wear a suit made of gold, diamond, silver, platinum, antimatter, californium, and taaffeite. I'd say majority antimatter with the rest being decorations.
@Macbook3
@Macbook3 4 года назад
Ancapistan
@WaterDragonGames4
@WaterDragonGames4 3 года назад
guys, the gold bars, go get them.
@presochoclo6982
@presochoclo6982 3 года назад
@@NerdStuffing obamium suit
@obadiahpear
@obadiahpear 6 лет назад
T R I ☭ ☭ E R E D
@FranceBall-qq7ef
@FranceBall-qq7ef 6 лет назад
j. b. How u get the Soviet symbol
@obadiahpear
@obadiahpear 6 лет назад
FranceBall 35428 look up Soviet Union symbol and then copy and paste what comes up.
@communistrussia127
@communistrussia127 6 лет назад
j. b. Cyka blyat gulag for you
@geezus3
@geezus3 6 лет назад
FranceBall 35428 if you’re on a Mac I think you can get it on the special keys command
@redoxam
@redoxam 6 лет назад
Trashy Potato ...wtf?
@thelonecookie3592
@thelonecookie3592 7 лет назад
This comments section: 25% Decent people having a laugh at the satire of the video 5% People who are communist and are generally triggered 40% People who are capitalist and are taking this too seriously 10% People who use this a platform to say "Well this proves *XYZ*" 50% Ephemeral Rift Fans 10% ASMRtists who came to see their uncle for a visit 5% People who don't properly understand how percentages work.
@Cultureghost
@Cultureghost 7 лет назад
The Lone Cookie i get the feeling that last percent is a bit higher mate
@CyanTeamProductions
@CyanTeamProductions 7 лет назад
I love satire of capitalism XD. Its so much worse than communism. Watch badmouseproduction's video on capitalism's death toll.
@thelonecookie3592
@thelonecookie3592 7 лет назад
thewalrus cat 4 topics: Mao Kim Jong Un Stalin Starvation in Communist states
@CyanTeamProductions
@CyanTeamProductions 7 лет назад
Capitalism makes them look like fucking Anarchists. I assume you have not watched the video.
@thelonecookie3592
@thelonecookie3592 7 лет назад
thewalrus cat Capitalism - rich get richer, poor have an opportunity to get richer due to enterprise, although some fall through and become poorer Communism - everything is owned by the state, no enterprise, no creativity, no entrepreneurship, populace kept in check by fear, hunger or political pressure
@ninjaboyx9177
@ninjaboyx9177 4 года назад
"How much is in your wallet or purse right now?" Around $700k. "Wow, that's a lot." Yeah, but that's not all. You need to multiply to get the true amount. "By how much?" 0.
@prumset6059
@prumset6059 4 года назад
@@Kuriositykilledthecat you are not the brigthest are you
@Kuriositykilledthecat
@Kuriositykilledthecat 4 года назад
@@prumset6059 yeah sorry im retarded
@prumset6059
@prumset6059 4 года назад
@@Kuriositykilledthecat No worries
@surprisetroll5700
@surprisetroll5700 3 года назад
We all learn from our mistakes
@enclave5901
@enclave5901 3 года назад
Uhhhh 3?
@Crdential
@Crdential 7 лет назад
“How much is in your bank account” Me-“not a lot after this”
@dermilchmann25
@dermilchmann25 6 лет назад
Hallo, ich bin Marcell Davis
@dayc5933
@dayc5933 6 лет назад
I can give you something
@fernandokaiser3053
@fernandokaiser3053 5 лет назад
0:00 - "Capitalism has joined the server" 0:24 - "EA has joined the server"
@christianehetche3379
@christianehetche3379 5 лет назад
Yup
@goxaviergo11
@goxaviergo11 4 года назад
1:05:08 - “Capitalism has left the server”
@JohnDoe-sq7fy
@JohnDoe-sq7fy 4 года назад
Am I the only one that realized that rift was humming the song “money” by Pink Floyd in the beginning???🤙🤙🤙 such a good song
@gefagnis
@gefagnis 4 года назад
Yes it’s a good song
@mrd4616
@mrd4616 4 года назад
I realized it too.
@maxdurk4624
@maxdurk4624 4 года назад
John Doe Ohhh shit, good call
@matthewmatthew8263
@matthewmatthew8263 4 года назад
THANK YOU, I thought I was the only one that noty
@geordiepelt3862
@geordiepelt3862 4 года назад
I think anyone who knows pink floyd knew it was money he was humming
@Pianoman1234321
@Pianoman1234321 7 лет назад
What if there were a video where we fail the questionnaire and we are told we can't watch the video, and so the whole rest of the video is just a black screen and silence
@pikkkkaro
@pikkkkaro 7 лет назад
PLEASE INSERT CREDIT CARD TO WATCH VIDEO
@CorruptPianist
@CorruptPianist 6 лет назад
Pianoman1234321 I was thinking the same thing omg
@jasoncarr7468
@jasoncarr7468 7 лет назад
He seriously suits any character
@derpsyndrom9404
@derpsyndrom9404 7 лет назад
exotic butter
@cowmcbeef966
@cowmcbeef966 7 лет назад
SUITS AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
@oneoffasmr7971
@oneoffasmr7971 7 лет назад
Pun intended?👔👔👔👔
@jasoncarr7468
@jasoncarr7468 7 лет назад
One Off ASMR totally not intended 😂
@pikkkkaro
@pikkkkaro 7 лет назад
Jason Carr I see what you did there
@Furijex
@Furijex 5 лет назад
Joseph Stalin left the game
@fatherizyoa
@fatherizyoa 5 лет назад
Left the chat-
@Dmitriy.Ananiev
@Dmitriy.Ananiev 4 года назад
:-(
@МихаилЛебенко-з1в
@МихаилЛебенко-з1в 4 года назад
*Cold war enter the chat*
@manman-wg1xn
@manman-wg1xn 4 года назад
Joseph stalin left the game a LONG time ago
@sir.jameshormand7839
@sir.jameshormand7839 4 года назад
*NUCLEAR BOMB FROM USSR ENTER THE CHAT*
@ChadDogofShimano
@ChadDogofShimano 6 лет назад
Timestamps for mobile user plebs (like me) 00:02:30 Capitalist A$MR Eligibility Questionnaire ©®™ 00:10:44 Calming Capitalist Hand Motions ©®™ 00:15:25 Capitalist Trigger Words (Now with Flash Cards!) ©®™ 00:23:40 Capitalist Money ©®™ 00:29:38 Capitalist Wallet ©®™ 00:31:58 Barry, EVP of Capitalist Operations ©®™ 00:36:00 Capitalist Tie ©®™ 00:38:28 Capitalist Suit ©®™ 00:41:08 Capitalist Cheese in a Can ©®™ 00:44:40 Capitalist Bottled Water ©®™ 00:50:23 Capitalist Smart Phone 00:54:12 The Chains of Capitalism 00:58:45 Capitalist Bubble Wrap 01:03:37 Capitalist Dollar Sign Balloon
@keiko3520
@keiko3520 6 лет назад
You like jojo (and maybe berserk) so you are totally cool
@ChadDogofShimano
@ChadDogofShimano 6 лет назад
@@keiko3520 Indeed I do! Thanks Keiko!
@josephgironda7892
@josephgironda7892 5 лет назад
Thanks brother
@ChadDogofShimano
@ChadDogofShimano 5 лет назад
@@josephgironda7892 No problem my brother
@thekeystoneconservative
@thekeystoneconservative 5 лет назад
Thanks
@MikeyGryder
@MikeyGryder 6 лет назад
That pink floyd intro was 10/10
@dub7222
@dub7222 5 лет назад
GRAB THAT CASH WITH BOTH HANDS AND MAKE A STASH
@oneidachic
@oneidachic 5 лет назад
Moneh..............
@istmiregalwieichheiss
@istmiregalwieichheiss 5 лет назад
Best comments ever
@couyonotaku4724
@couyonotaku4724 5 лет назад
I thought for a minute I hit the wrong video and was gonna jam for the next like 7 mins
@brandonk130
@brandonk130 4 года назад
BatboyGamingz For real though
@StyxDescension
@StyxDescension 6 лет назад
Hello. I am caucasian business man.
@michmyers73
@michmyers73 5 лет назад
Revan The Dragon that’s how it feels watching any cliché movie a la the 80’s
@RebeccaJ720
@RebeccaJ720 5 лет назад
I snorted when he said that.
@alejandroangulo327
@alejandroangulo327 5 лет назад
Oh look A dragon
@notyourdaughter666
@notyourdaughter666 5 лет назад
hello. I am racially mixed gay communist Demigirl.
@anselcantin4735
@anselcantin4735 5 лет назад
X to doubt
@endermage77
@endermage77 5 лет назад
After taking in the sum totality of views on Capitalism, Communism, and Socialism, I have deduced that all possible economic systems are fundamentally broken Because the people in them are also fundamentally broken. Can't be trusted to maintain a fair and orderly society where they don't tip the game's scales out of whack for their own short-term benefit.
@alternativefursdenken911
@alternativefursdenken911 5 лет назад
One man, one problem. No man, no problem. - Josef Wissarionowitsch Stalin
@Spoofurr
@Spoofurr 4 года назад
What about a resource based economy??
@mariamaita6950
@mariamaita6950 4 года назад
I think one of the reason capitalism is so successful until now is that it's WAY easier to get rid of a shitty leader than in a communist society, mainly because communist countries have no election. Imagine if China or Vietnam could actually elect their leaders, who knows how it would ultimately play out?
@dragoni1873
@dragoni1873 4 года назад
Well mabey your right that all three fail but from what I know sozialism is the best system Edit:I am wrong just ignore what I said
@bradensiegal1085
@bradensiegal1085 4 года назад
drAgONi 187 apparently you aren’t from China, Hong Kong, Russia, any of the former USSR countries, Germany, or Venezuela.
@cashewbutter943
@cashewbutter943 7 лет назад
Batman, Superman, Caucasian Businessman
@tonyquist9569
@tonyquist9569 6 лет назад
Highly Underrated comment
@xtoxiicness3908
@xtoxiicness3908 6 лет назад
Tony Quist Yeah this comment needs more likes lol.
@okxyfaith18
@okxyfaith18 6 лет назад
Falon Finch bahhahaha
@Lycosa
@Lycosa 6 лет назад
Rap god
@ajshhwzhhwja2317
@ajshhwzhhwja2317 6 лет назад
MetaGhoste hello fucktard
@griffindemetrius6746
@griffindemetrius6746 7 лет назад
"How much is in your wallet right now" Me "about 37 dollars, why"? *Pulls out gun* "hand it over"
@xtoxiicness3908
@xtoxiicness3908 6 лет назад
WhoIsMaxi OHHH!!!! That would make for a pretty cool/interesting plot twist.
@NostalgiaVivec
@NostalgiaVivec 6 лет назад
that would be socialist ASMR
@conelrad22
@conelrad22 6 лет назад
*WHATS IN YOUR WALLET*
@definedparadox
@definedparadox 6 лет назад
RU-vid Service Channel only a couple pennies and a subscription to Spencer’s.
@dalton6171
@dalton6171 6 лет назад
WhoIsMaxi I would watch that video if it existed.
@captainfart231
@captainfart231 6 лет назад
He startin humming “Money” by Pink Floyd I lost my shit 😂😂
@Harald_Haselnuss
@Harald_Haselnuss 6 лет назад
Captyon when ?
@fjp1247
@fjp1247 6 лет назад
Eric von Hof It's in the beginning if the video with the cash register noises.
@Harald_Haselnuss
@Harald_Haselnuss 6 лет назад
FJP 124 OK. Thanks.
@ianthe2131
@ianthe2131 6 лет назад
Sounded kinda like Black Dog to me tho?
@luken2o223
@luken2o223 6 лет назад
Grab your cash with both hands and make a stash.
@lcs684
@lcs684 4 года назад
When mom lets you keep the change
@noobjo.mp4196
@noobjo.mp4196 6 лет назад
are you feeling it now, mr krabs?
@cedarpointfanboy7317
@cedarpointfanboy7317 5 лет назад
Sponge boi me bob I have herpes
@BelligerentKnight2481
@BelligerentKnight2481 4 года назад
@@cedarpointfanboy7317 wtf. Why am I laughing at this?
@igoral3035
@igoral3035 4 года назад
@@BelligerentKnight2481 hey SCP Foundation
@levimccarthy1259
@levimccarthy1259 3 года назад
Yesnt
@Xaronos
@Xaronos 5 лет назад
36:33 Didn't know Reaper is into ASMR
@Jynx-iu9rg
@Jynx-iu9rg 4 года назад
Well he needs some way to relax after a long day of terrorism.
@DerrickRoseCanFly1
@DerrickRoseCanFly1 4 года назад
Too edgy for you?
@Jynx-iu9rg
@Jynx-iu9rg 4 года назад
@@DerrickRoseCanFly1 that's been my favorite voiceline since it came out.
@zachdurocher1166
@zachdurocher1166 4 года назад
@@Jynx-iu9rg Yer makin' a chicken out of a feather!
@ddlcfan5539
@ddlcfan5539 4 года назад
@@zachdurocher1166 da gummit
@justrandomman2415
@justrandomman2415 7 лет назад
The battle between comrade yuri and Caucasian businessman has begun
@absolutexo1387
@absolutexo1387 6 лет назад
Just stop it hurts
@hextaco3140
@hextaco3140 6 лет назад
mickbutts21 The Third No one asked for your opinion.Shut the fuck up.Let the dude comment whatever he wants...
@davisgreenlee7676
@davisgreenlee7676 6 лет назад
mickbutts21 The Third I live in the motherland and is no free country here comrade
@nickolasvenancio8553
@nickolasvenancio8553 6 лет назад
I don't understand the hate for this comment :/ I think that comment has been really funny
@retrowaveastronaut5226
@retrowaveastronaut5226 6 лет назад
👁️
@vertorix8899
@vertorix8899 4 года назад
Nobody: Native Americans: ... Europeans: 0:44
@fatjuicytaco
@fatjuicytaco 4 года назад
Also Europeans: 25:55
@st3fan735
@st3fan735 4 года назад
Im european but frome balkan
@dimebag_jack105
@dimebag_jack105 4 года назад
@@st3fan735 European*
@st3fan735
@st3fan735 4 года назад
@@dimebag_jack105 thanks my bad.
@DuKbuK2
@DuKbuK2 4 года назад
@@dimebag_jack105 don't be a grammar nazi
@sg4380
@sg4380 7 лет назад
Now we're fucking cooking
@WondrousLanternProductions
@WondrousLanternProductions 7 лет назад
Um, hello, wake up, man! He's been cooking this type of shit for years! He's a fucking legend!
@puts-toes-in-mouth9123
@puts-toes-in-mouth9123 7 лет назад
Star Gamer gravy in the kitchen now everybody lookin
@sidmichael2693
@sidmichael2693 7 лет назад
Nic Damore just pass the boy a spatula
@thelonecookie3592
@thelonecookie3592 7 лет назад
*puts on yellow hazmat suit and closes all the curtains* "Wait what? What do you mean it's not that type of cooking?"
@prokrasty294
@prokrasty294 7 лет назад
Cooking books
@Its_THEDARE
@Its_THEDARE 5 лет назад
You know he's high quality capitalist when his pencil is ticonderoga
@WrexShepard
@WrexShepard 4 года назад
Alexander Tomilov they’re not as good as they where when I was a kid anymore. I used some recently that all had an off center lead. That’s like the worst flaw a pencil can have. Impossible to sharpen without breaking the lead constantly.
@darthrevan533
@darthrevan533 4 года назад
@@WrexShepard its not lead its graphite
@WrexShepard
@WrexShepard 4 года назад
God yeah no shit dude. People still call it the “pencil lead” colloquially.
@diobrando151
@diobrando151 3 года назад
Is this some American joke that I'm too English to understand Sealy tho wtf Latin was that
@lieutenantstriker3536
@lieutenantstriker3536 7 лет назад
*wakes up* "Oh crap he took my wallet."
@luken2o223
@luken2o223 7 лет назад
Lieutenant striker Prick took my money too. Never sleep in front of a capitalist.
@AJ-dx6bn
@AJ-dx6bn 6 лет назад
Maybe he's an *jew*
@meero0090
@meero0090 6 лет назад
yeah welcome to college loan
@Little-Houn2273
@Little-Houn2273 3 года назад
45:58 that short guy from the Lorax: write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN.
@ArticulateDesignASMR
@ArticulateDesignASMR 7 лет назад
Cheese in a can.... There is nobody else on this planet that can say this over and over and somehow still make it sound relaxing af!!
@vicentetemes5793
@vicentetemes5793 7 лет назад
Articulate Design ASMR I couldn' say it once without hulking out.
@darkcodes9748
@darkcodes9748 7 лет назад
Articulate Design ASMR I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!!!
@AuxCordUnplug
@AuxCordUnplug 7 лет назад
The fucking cheese in a fucking can...
@aryakidding8613
@aryakidding8613 6 лет назад
What does "a cheese in a can" mean ?
@vicentetemes5793
@vicentetemes5793 6 лет назад
See, in the beginning our god and saviour Khek made cows and sheep and snuff. Then, the glorious european peoples enslaved the cows in order to obtain the milk. One fateful day, Cheesius Maximus left a brik under the couch for a couple of years, and then his mom walked in and asked "what is that smell college has changed you you used to be such a nice boy". Later that very month, he had to eat the entire thing on a dare, and he thought it tasted "trés bon" (archeoologists still argue on the meaning of this sentence), and he went on to found France. Then filthy americans came and decided to create a disgusting abomination of nature called "Wisconsin".
@andrewryan1946
@andrewryan1946 7 лет назад
I’m afraid I’m going to have to nationalize this channel for the good of the people, and throw you in the ASMR Gulag (where we subject you to reformation by nails down a chalkboard and plates scraped by forks), Comrade Bourgeois Rift. Seriously though, you never run out of ideas, and it’s great. You should try a Bureaucratic ASMR involving mountains of sweet, sweet legal paperwork!
@dusksentry5836
@dusksentry5836 7 лет назад
why gulag? isn't Andrew Ryan suppose to hate communists as well?
@douglaszavala428
@douglaszavala428 7 лет назад
Don't forget about comrade Yuri
@SuperSoulTiger
@SuperSoulTiger 7 лет назад
lots of paperwork you say? well, i guess a german(y) roleplay would be in order then! we really don't joke with our bureaucracy, there's a form for everything, dear heavens. but jokes aside, it's a great idea!
@HardcoreBaconGAMES
@HardcoreBaconGAMES 7 лет назад
Nice BioShock name my dude.
@andrewryan1946
@andrewryan1946 7 лет назад
Yes, hence the satirical highlight of communism's brutality
@Antunes762
@Antunes762 5 лет назад
*Communism wants to know your location*
@mediocrepresident8040
@mediocrepresident8040 5 лет назад
EA head quarters
@C4rl0s011
@C4rl0s011 5 лет назад
NOT today.
@rustythekey1908
@rustythekey1908 5 лет назад
Kailer Gibes XDDDDDD
@fatjuicytaco
@fatjuicytaco 4 года назад
Well Communism can have my country, but the rest of my address was evenly distributed in tiny pieces of information so that in order to find me, one has to talk to every single citizen of North Korea.
@boblinthegoblin3602
@boblinthegoblin3602 4 года назад
Holy shit man the likes are 666 that’s some illegal communist shit
@frankparent463
@frankparent463 3 года назад
"What is your net worth?" Me "Laughable"
@portsouth
@portsouth 7 лет назад
Now do facist asmr. If anyone can do it it's you rift. (I didn't mean that in a bad way)
@Play-visionDe
@Play-visionDe 7 лет назад
Portsouth facist asmr? Like, "Like my tingles or die!" xD
@vincentrieck7687
@vincentrieck7687 7 лет назад
PlayVision No like " The Jews are the problem" kinda fascist
@kat-po8vx
@kat-po8vx 7 лет назад
lmfao why
@jackcole1014
@jackcole1014 7 лет назад
lol agreed. "Tingles for the nation"
@gooksanon7167
@gooksanon7167 7 лет назад
Facism is not nazism lmao
@zosoart
@zosoart 6 лет назад
'Without money you can't buy happiness'
@crusadrian5010
@crusadrian5010 5 лет назад
I mean, joy and happiness are two different things. I think there's a lot of truth to that if you take a step back.
@4eg215
@4eg215 5 лет назад
Sike
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
And without happiness, you will die alone...forever
@thatrandomasmrgirl9709
@thatrandomasmrgirl9709 5 лет назад
True, if I didn't have money, I couldn't buy my chicken nuggies
@DaddyDex420
@DaddyDex420 5 лет назад
🤔🅱️
@deathmetalpotato
@deathmetalpotato 7 лет назад
Somehow ASMR and capitalism just makes cents I'll show myself out
@HumbleWolves
@HumbleWolves 7 лет назад
B. Jr. While going out watch out for the table. I already hit money on that thing.
@rausis5709
@rausis5709 7 лет назад
B. Jr. Nice pun
@vornamenachname1015
@vornamenachname1015 7 лет назад
loooooool
@pikkkkaro
@pikkkkaro 7 лет назад
Dime a dozen these comments
@mirovercetti
@mirovercetti 7 лет назад
Quality comment👍🏾
@godsmacker6324
@godsmacker6324 4 года назад
41:10 Me to my mom at the supermarket
@EmperorAmbrose
@EmperorAmbrose 7 лет назад
In Soviet Russia, you rob bank. In Capitalist America, bank robs you!
@Dashin_Hashashin
@Dashin_Hashashin 7 лет назад
Mister Steampunk true story tho
@caution-monkey4603
@caution-monkey4603 7 лет назад
TRUUUUUUU DOOOOOOEE!!! First name Justin
@noxx9986
@noxx9986 7 лет назад
Actually in Soviet Russia, you're not allowed to have guns. yeah.
@EmperorAmbrose
@EmperorAmbrose 7 лет назад
Zeata in America, you have right to bear arms, in Soviet Russia, you have right to whole bear
@eascide
@eascide 7 лет назад
Mister Steampunk lol
@legoyoda324
@legoyoda324 6 лет назад
It's free real estate
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
jadan shank hook me up with that free capitalist Estate
@hydra__yt
@hydra__yt 5 лет назад
i don't think "free" and "capitalism" go together
@hydra__yt
@hydra__yt 5 лет назад
@BlueSkyBox what did i say wrong
@hydra__yt
@hydra__yt 5 лет назад
@BlueSkyBox "food" and "successful communism" don't go together
@MrHans-iy5lq
@MrHans-iy5lq 5 лет назад
*order 66 executed* Palpatine looks at the jedi temple and thinks : It's free real estate
@austinpeterson6419
@austinpeterson6419 7 лет назад
"How much is in your bank account?" Me: "Ummm. I think I have 10¢." "How much is in your wallet?" Me: "It looks like a moth and lint."
@asholatte
@asholatte 7 лет назад
Austin Peterson me the last few days before payday
@okyep
@okyep 7 лет назад
I always keep a moth in my wallet who's better protected someone who has pepper spray or someone who will fling a dead moth at you
@LaDyLuCk2900
@LaDyLuCk2900 7 лет назад
Lasting Fame I have a hilarious image of the attacker screaming and flailing trying to get the moth off them
@pikkkkaro
@pikkkkaro 7 лет назад
Lasting Fame valid point there bro
@brookeconsole5719
@brookeconsole5719 7 лет назад
I recommend spiders for those kinds of situations.
@gr3enmachin369
@gr3enmachin369 4 года назад
24:10 Did... did he just break the 4th wall? He always acts like we are actually there in person in his roleplays.
@distant1334
@distant1334 3 года назад
"I wish you where here and you could smell this" Don't seem out of line for Mr Caucasian Businessman
@ihavenocreativity2666
@ihavenocreativity2666 3 года назад
@@distant1334 Maybe he said "I wish your ear could smell this" but that wouldnt make sense lol
@irradiated6126
@irradiated6126 6 лет назад
46:00 *_O’HARE PURIFIED AIR, FRESHNESS TO GO_*
@daubeny6796
@daubeny6796 6 лет назад
*Ted Why?*
@Kangaru13
@Kangaru13 6 лет назад
*AIR*
@definedparadox
@definedparadox 6 лет назад
OkxyFaith LET IT SHRIVEL UP INSIDE!
@lanephillips3800
@lanephillips3800 6 лет назад
The hell is your profile pic. XD
@MrJohnthegamerHD
@MrJohnthegamerHD 6 лет назад
Daubeny Because a coward like you must show himself on the internet
@SxnsOnGas
@SxnsOnGas 5 лет назад
I have 64 diamonds in my minecraft chest, Yeah i belong here!!
@dustchain
@dustchain 5 лет назад
I have 7 gold ingots so you better back off lol
@kabelbinder1077
@kabelbinder1077 5 лет назад
Art Dragon I still remember how disappointed I was back in 2012 when I found out how utterly useless gold armor is.
@benparker3442
@benparker3442 5 лет назад
Kabelbinder it’s only for rich bois
@catoonz
@catoonz 5 лет назад
I have 128 dirt blocks, so I’m richer than you
@veslebzgen
@veslebzgen 5 лет назад
I have a chest full of stacks of diamonds, hippity hoppity you are my property
@CyanTeamProductions
@CyanTeamProductions 7 лет назад
Comrade Yuri would be saddened by the sight of this filthy video.
@bookmulch7379
@bookmulch7379 7 лет назад
thewalrus cat remember... No Russian
@Theproclaimed
@Theproclaimed 7 лет назад
thewalrus cat in russia, the video would be saddened by you
@tankaddict9147
@tankaddict9147 7 лет назад
Exactly why he made it lol
@CyanTeamProductions
@CyanTeamProductions 7 лет назад
Im know ER has anti capitalist beliefs. Which is why this video has a lot of satire XD
@packingpeanuts4175
@packingpeanuts4175 7 лет назад
"Yuri" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@milo4279
@milo4279 3 года назад
*This video has an official stamp of approval from the government of the United States of America*
@brucelsprout
@brucelsprout 7 лет назад
00:02:30 Capitalist A$MR Eligibility Questionnaire ©®™ 00:10:44 Calming Capitalist Hand Motions ©®™ 00:15:25 Capitalist Trigger Words (Now with Flash Cards!) ©®™ 00:23:40 Capitalist Money ©®™ 00:29:38 Capitalist Wallet ©®™ 00:31:58 Barry, EVP of Capitalist Operations ©®™ 00:36:00 Capitalist Tie ©®™ 00:38:28 Capitalist Suit ©®™ 00:41:08 Capitalist Cheese in a Can ©®™ 00:44:40 Capitalist Bottled Water ©®™ 00:50:23 Capitalist Smart Phone ©®™ 00:54:12 The Chains of Capitalism ©®™ 00:58:45 Capitalist Bubble Wrap ©®™ 01:03:37 Capitalist Dollar Sign Balloon ©®™
@seancarey9302
@seancarey9302 7 лет назад
Please pin this
@Santsuhi
@Santsuhi Год назад
$$$
@nsm4238
@nsm4238 6 лет назад
3:26 doesnt take that much time to write $0.00 tho does it?
@joeysouza6927
@joeysouza6927 6 лет назад
he is actually playing tic tac toe with himself like patrick star from that one episode
@Thunddeerr
@Thunddeerr 6 лет назад
Bnrjas1 lmao
@chrisforrest5121
@chrisforrest5121 6 лет назад
that's what im saying, sketchy ass questionnaire taking 30 seconds to write down a yes or no answer
@lunarbishop3633
@lunarbishop3633 6 лет назад
He's probably adding side notes like "Lowly consumer"
@ssnake3461
@ssnake3461 6 лет назад
NSM oh yeah yeah dont worry i have that avatar on main channel oh yeah yeah
@edcellwarrior
@edcellwarrior 7 лет назад
That wallet tapping is legit some of the best tingles I've had in a while
@ezpzgraphicdesign3144
@ezpzgraphicdesign3144 6 лет назад
K
@pip5188
@pip5188 6 лет назад
KK
@viper2080
@viper2080 6 лет назад
KKK
@mar9577
@mar9577 6 лет назад
LEgit VIPer oof too far
@solondraco8829
@solondraco8829 6 лет назад
Kkkk
@trilogymango
@trilogymango 4 года назад
when your mom forgets to ask for the change when she sends you into the store to buy something
@casonboithethird7661
@casonboithethird7661 7 лет назад
Him: Do you have a 401k Me:yes Him: Gives a smugg look Me:But I said yes
@ZeeTheFreeman
@ZeeTheFreeman 7 лет назад
damned either way, filthy peasant
@jsihavealotofplaylists
@jsihavealotofplaylists 7 лет назад
Cason ASMR50 He's smug because he is thinking about how much money we are both making in comparison to the middle class.
@luken2o223
@luken2o223 7 лет назад
WTF is a 401k? I'm not American. What is it?!
@ZeeTheFreeman
@ZeeTheFreeman 7 лет назад
Luke N2O It's an account reserved for retirement, so you can live off that sum (generally its used for low-risk investment as well) in old age when one isn't able to work.
@mankind-redefined1982
@mankind-redefined1982 7 лет назад
**Gulag Intensifies**
@nikopepitone3684
@nikopepitone3684 7 лет назад
Mankind - Redefined TO GULAG BLYAT
@cyberviruz999animeee3
@cyberviruz999animeee3 7 лет назад
Why do you have a symbol of the institute from fallout 4
@mankind-redefined1982
@mankind-redefined1982 7 лет назад
Cyber Viruz999 Why do you think?
@cyberviruz999animeee3
@cyberviruz999animeee3 7 лет назад
Cause it’s the best ending and hope
@silversnailor
@silversnailor 7 лет назад
The minute men are the best faction
@kingofmemes2417
@kingofmemes2417 7 лет назад
are you feeling it now mr.krabs!?
@xtoxiicness3908
@xtoxiicness3908 6 лет назад
The Septillion Brotherhood OHH YEAH MR KRABS!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@TheCappuccino04
@TheCappuccino04 6 лет назад
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
@okxyfaith18
@okxyfaith18 6 лет назад
king of memes 😂
@alpha597
@alpha597 6 лет назад
Hey Patrick what am I now?
@MaiPoirot
@MaiPoirot 6 лет назад
king of memes aaahh I love him ❤
@withtheworks
@withtheworks 3 года назад
My earbuds died right as he was answering the "what's most important in life" question and I genuinely thought he cut the audio to leave us in suspense
@tactics711
@tactics711 Год назад
Lol
@asmrhaven2325
@asmrhaven2325 7 лет назад
This is true performance art. Possibly the greatest creation to come out of ASMR ever. Congrats
@arborbonenstiel6665
@arborbonenstiel6665 7 лет назад
Nice Floyd reference
@Sheo2049
@Sheo2049 7 лет назад
Will we be getting a "Relax with Joseph Stalin" ASMR?
@TheNugettinage
@TheNugettinage 7 лет назад
There was a Comrade Yuri one already, hopefully we get a Breadbook one next.
@Sheo2049
@Sheo2049 7 лет назад
TheNugettinage Yeah the Comrade Yuri one was neat
@cornheadahh
@cornheadahh 7 лет назад
What about a "Relax with Adolf Hitler" ASMR?
@IndustrialBonecraft
@IndustrialBonecraft 7 лет назад
That would be very short and start with a bang.
@tankaddict9147
@tankaddict9147 7 лет назад
NO T H O T S With ER screaming out his rally speeches throughout the entire video.
@RolRetro
@RolRetro 4 года назад
“ I am Caucasian business man “ What a... *very* nice name sir
@user-sk3jd3ff3q
@user-sk3jd3ff3q 5 лет назад
My Fam: So what do you want for Christmas? Me: 15:50
@IAmSkystrike
@IAmSkystrike 5 лет назад
Underrated comment
@robinhyperlord9053
@robinhyperlord9053 5 лет назад
Overrated
@bettercallsaull
@bettercallsaull 4 года назад
happens all the time
@blankblank5409
@blankblank5409 4 года назад
Gay
@squishy_boi2524
@squishy_boi2524 4 года назад
The person above is an idiot, the person below is triple idiot
@ASMRTRENT
@ASMRTRENT 7 лет назад
I can’t relax when I’m laughing so hard. You are one witty SOB. Love your work.
@Wooky810
@Wooky810 7 лет назад
ASMR TRENT z
@LowOnAmmo
@LowOnAmmo 7 лет назад
When someone says SOB I think "Son of Bitch". Not Son of *a* bitch. So in my head you were gramatically correct until the SOB part. Then you sounded a middle eastern oil tycoon who had to learn English for his buisness ventures.
@LowOnAmmo
@LowOnAmmo 7 лет назад
Harold I know it's just how I read it. Good information though, thanks.
@son_gokuo3044
@son_gokuo3044 7 лет назад
Sir Derp The Pug Lord haha you got owned.
@LowOnAmmo
@LowOnAmmo 7 лет назад
DEADPOOL CARNAGE ohh how humorous.
@KazzKadia
@KazzKadia 6 лет назад
This is what ancaps and libertarians dream about
@ascetic_sorcerer
@ascetic_sorcerer 5 лет назад
Yeah...
@sukhoisu-24fencer3
@sukhoisu-24fencer3 5 лет назад
Ja really tell me about it. All these new generation kids want to be filthy frickin rich. I just want to live normally and have At least an average amount anyone would have! I dont need loads of money. I do want a nice car though. That's going to take a while.
@itaimizrahi7464
@itaimizrahi7464 5 лет назад
kurt Knispel well that escalated quickly
@tizimessina
@tizimessina 5 лет назад
Jaj Javier Milei be like
@connorbrown2194
@connorbrown2194 5 лет назад
I can confirm this
@99Kap
@99Kap 4 года назад
Fun fact: money shown in film and tv usually looks strange because its illegal for anyone other than the government, even a prop company, to print bills that look too similar to the real prints.
@vievitelair
@vievitelair 6 лет назад
34:05 *chillin watching the video* *mom opens the door* : -MOM IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! -pack your stuff and leave.
@duskbringer439
@duskbringer439 5 лет назад
Hahahahahaha your comment made me laugh so hard
@DaddyDex420
@DaddyDex420 5 лет назад
Um
@Katzlund
@Katzlund 7 лет назад
I think that RU-vid money is getting to Rift's head
@TJsnorp
@TJsnorp 7 лет назад
Katzlund I'm ur 100th like
@atomiclr6369
@atomiclr6369 6 лет назад
All 20 cents
@Really_Skunkey
@Really_Skunkey 7 лет назад
When he asked how much i have in my bank account I swear he started writing out the number in words
@jeffreythelad8398
@jeffreythelad8398 6 лет назад
For me the first letter
@MyTimelord11
@MyTimelord11 6 лет назад
I saw this and I thought maybe he'd just write out "zero" xD
@noahddd
@noahddd 6 лет назад
*Zero pounds*
@robertlucas1435
@robertlucas1435 3 года назад
Finally, the correct system.
@Chocolate_Box02
@Chocolate_Box02 7 лет назад
i love money
@boi5737
@boi5737 7 лет назад
박상훈 오 한국인
@ieatass4226
@ieatass4226 7 лет назад
I love Kim Jong Un
@Theproclaimed
@Theproclaimed 7 лет назад
박상훈 in russia, money loves you
@WondrousLanternProductions
@WondrousLanternProductions 7 лет назад
I hate money.
@nexusintake7179
@nexusintake7179 7 лет назад
I had no idea people love money :))
@Caltash
@Caltash 7 лет назад
Patrolling the nuclear winter almost makes you wish for a Mojave.
@okluminous566
@okluminous566 7 лет назад
Mojaving the winter nuclear almost make you wish for a patrol
@arcurs5786
@arcurs5786 7 лет назад
For sakes fuck
@deathmetalpotato
@deathmetalpotato 7 лет назад
There's a map that helps your need. Here, let me mark it on your settler
@merlynleger6916
@merlynleger6916 7 лет назад
I used to be an arrow like you, then I took an adventurer in the knee
@cian2168
@cian2168 7 лет назад
Wintering the Nuclear Wish almost makes you Patrolling the Mojave.
@CorruptPianist
@CorruptPianist 6 лет назад
I noticed that the dollar sign on your left hand was a little wonky, which made me wonder if you were left-handed. I sat there for a good minute thinking about it; "Is that really his left hand? Maybe the video is reversed, and he flipped all the dollar signs accordingly... No, that's the hand he's wearing his wedding ring on. Ephemeral Rift must be left handed!" I was a little bit proud of that deduction, since the clues were so subtle. Then I realized you were writing with your left hand for the entire first ten minutes of the video.
@noahduller6646
@noahduller6646 6 лет назад
He's an alien
@joketosociety766
@joketosociety766 6 лет назад
Vegas Cuervo he is left handed.
@unbreakableroad9294
@unbreakableroad9294 5 лет назад
f
@luucvinky2194
@luucvinky2194 5 лет назад
Vegas Cuervo great story
@luucvinky2194
@luucvinky2194 5 лет назад
乇乂丅尺卂丅卄工匚匚 f
@deeperthantheabyss624
@deeperthantheabyss624 3 года назад
Comunist ASMR: You rob bank Capitalist ASMR: Bank rob you Fascist ASMR: There is no bank
@pompom_asmr
@pompom_asmr 7 лет назад
nothing relaxes me quite like thinking about my credit score
@Zavakar
@Zavakar 7 лет назад
there's no excuse to have bad credit other than pure irresponsibility
@obiwankenobi1003
@obiwankenobi1003 6 лет назад
Mr. sting ray Truth
@fortnitepartynite3067
@fortnitepartynite3067 6 лет назад
getting divorced can ruin your credit score
@Natef89
@Natef89 6 лет назад
Robot That's cause you're white.
@catharsis08
@catharsis08 5 лет назад
685 dislikes from Yuri and his comrades
@Icebreaker8100
@Icebreaker8100 4 года назад
Nothing wrong with that
@EpicGamerMan
@EpicGamerMan 3 года назад
Ngl thought u were talking abt the tag so I was a bit confused
@Painfullish
@Painfullish 3 года назад
1K dislikes lol
@idk-yy6og
@idk-yy6og 5 лет назад
ER:what kind of car do you drive Me:hotwheels
@Painfullish
@Painfullish 3 года назад
Nah i'm driving on lego car and i fallen in a river from lego city
@Painfullish
@Painfullish 3 года назад
Also i drive minecraft minecart
@octopie6887
@octopie6887 3 года назад
69 likes noice
@meaninglessinternetpoints9351
“Your item has been sold on the Steam marketplace for $0.001”
@BigDanASMR
@BigDanASMR 7 лет назад
MOOOONEYYYY! You have great taste in music Rift
@Esteban-lh7qz
@Esteban-lh7qz 7 лет назад
Big Dan ASMR he has good taste in money as well
@allgunsblazed9106
@allgunsblazed9106 7 лет назад
Yes..... yess
@MrLeedlesProductions
@MrLeedlesProductions 7 лет назад
Big Dan ASMR just went to see Roger Waters last month and was able to sing every line of that song from memory.
@amiester3thou258
@amiester3thou258 7 лет назад
I triple liked just for that.
@jamesballack4426
@jamesballack4426 7 лет назад
He's been performing it live for over 30 years, shouldn't be hard to forget. Also, the man doesn't have dementia yet; he should be fine.
@johndonwood4305
@johndonwood4305 5 лет назад
Listening to this while standing in a line for McDonald's.
@Hardocigg
@Hardocigg 4 года назад
What did you get?
@twisterpower521
@twisterpower521 4 года назад
69th like
@cupcaketf223
@cupcaketf223 3 года назад
You: sudenly Falls on the flor sleeping
@luucvinky2194
@luucvinky2194 6 лет назад
3:39 how much is in your wallet right now? Me: about €500,- *then this is a robbery*
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
Luucvinky put em up
@luucvinky2194
@luucvinky2194 5 лет назад
BlueCreeper 🤷‍♂️
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
Now give me all your euros
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
Ethan Rodrigue AH SHIT, ITS THE EUROPEAN FEDS
@bluecreeper6161
@bluecreeper6161 5 лет назад
YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME, FUCKER (no insult intended)
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