Case Study - Origin of Narcissistic Personality Disorder 

Yeah, because they're destroyed by this trauma, I'm one of them and is still treated like a child by my narc parents.

My dad is a covert narc. Wasn’t fun

I’ve got a channel about psychology and mental health too! From a first person perspective, check it out if ya want!

Wake Up thanks so much for checking it out! Pretty awesome of you

I see so much of that in the work world and makes me sad why have kids then?

Seriously. It's just so sad.

Yes so sad.Family upbringing played so much when kids grew up with narcs parents.Unfortunately I married one and he passed it to us his family.No positive traits but extremely nothing inside him but hatred, envy,revenge,etc.Soooooo depressing.

I managed to turn out emotional healthy and balanced for a long time and for some of us it hits us later in life. I had cut all the toxic people out. So many are on the side of the parent/s and then you go on in life and all the predators come for you , as 'friends' as 'romantic partners', as a 'boss' because once you are abused the cycle repeats. It's like you meet the same people over and over with different faces. You learn to get smarter the hard way but there is a lot of anger and distrust as you learn the dark side of most people. So a lot of us remain as loners because most people are trouble. End up with CPTSD, BPD at best, otherwise other diagnosis which can make your life more challenging. When your life starts as shit, if on top of that you're attractive, have great qualities that make others jealous and female, people will try to ruin you, especially if you're a kind person. Evil people are better off all around because they run this society. It's constructed on guilting, shaming, harshly judging others, without really listening, seeing the bigger picture, using people as tools and worshiping objects. Even 'normal' people are way more fucked up than they think. Many people have traits of personality disorders to fit in with society (think the people who created Hunger Games as they sat back and watched everyone kill each other to survive), they do things because authority says it's okay, even if that means at the demise of someone else, physical, spiritual, emotional. Hell isn't a thing of fiction, it's right here, on this planet. I know, I lived there and I walked through it. People who survive it had their scars.

Woodlice worm, It’s been awhile since I studied Dev. Psych but i’m pretty sure there is a cognitive “resilience factor” involved in development. Dont know the % of occurrence. My guess for those that have “great parents” you can get it from too much misappropriated attention as well. Also, i’m not sure but I think trauma and trauma-bonds that can lead to NPD can occur from other peers or relationships.

I found it odd that he was viewed as being physically dangerous in a situation where he whipped her with the belt because she had tried to whip him with the belt because his parents had told her she could physically abuse him in the name of discipline. Give me one person who would allow anyone to whip them with a belt (without consent). And then add the humiliation of being 15 years old and be babysat by someone who is ONE year *younger* , and the frustration of being babysat due to having so many restrictions in your own home (that frankly didn’t sound like much of a home due to how vile they treated him). For anyone to diagnose him with anti social disorder because of one incident without looking into what that incident detailed is horrible. Because anyone in their right mind can understand what made him whip her and shouldn’t the parents or the babysitter have faced some consequence for acting like it was ok to physically assault him? This is so odd.

I have these parents too. You realise that there is something wrong with your parents growing up, but not how. And when you're a child you're scared of leaving your parents for fosterparents, because you're afraid they might be even worse.

But I think maybe this mass shooter in Texas might have NPD parents or parents with cluster B dissorders.

Victor Beardma wow. Did you read something to that effect?

@@k.ambriz9789 Yeah, I think so narcisissmen seems to increase.

I found this very helpful because I've had horrible experience with NPD sufferers. This helped me have empathy.

This. My mom had a similar upbringing (with physical violence added), became narcissistic, did the same thing her parents did, my sister became narcissistic, I've got borderline traits, and now my niece and nephew are at risk. I never had kids - despite therapy, decreased severity of symptoms and some insight, I don't know if I could've broken the cycle either. It's hard to be a parent in the healthiest of settings - it's Herculean when you're not even sure what healthy looks like. I'm glad Dr. Grande focuses on empathy for people with Cluster B disorders. Despite the harm people not recovering from these disorders cause, it all started somewhere. It's very rare for someone to be born with Cluster B's and never had any childhood trauma. I feel a lot of compassion for the childhood my mom had. I can't have her in my life right now, but still, she was a victim too.

I have finally heard a story almost as insane as my childhood

we as children, put up with that narcissism for the simple reason that it was "just another day". it's a sad thing when a women that can not produce love puts that shit on to a child, don't ask me how I know, I will be typing for a week. good luck people! I know and understand!, so I feel for you!

Cynically Hopeful well put.

Lee Dunn You even can't emagine I come from that hell .And it's soft what I been heard .....

I agree. Of course, there are many interactions between the counselor and client that made her come to that conclusion that I guess we will never know. But yes the counselor seemed kind of non-empathetic and maybe out of her league. I like the case studies. Interesting.

True. But therapists are real people too and not perfect. They have their own weak spots as well.

That therapist sounds like a misandric psychopath!

I guess therapist or whatever was probably offended at how he criticized their office clothes etc. and they partly diagnosed him according to that.

It’s helpful to understand the childhood trauma in a patient and how it leads to adult disorders. More videos like this please. I am estranged from my two adult daughters and am trying to understand what I did to contribute to this. I spent a lifetime seeking therapy for depression thinking I was breaking the chain of family abuse so I put a high priority on having an open, honest relationship with my girls giving them unconditional love and encouragement while doing my best as a single mother to discipline them when necessary. As they became almost cruel adults keeping me from my grandkids I spent 7 yrs asking them what I was doing wrong. Why wouldn’t they talk to me or visit. I finally realized it’s not me it’s them but don’t understand how they got this way. I thought I had at least instilled good family values in them but it seems none of what I taught them took. The only value they see in me is to have someone to giggle and gossip about while telling me that’s not happening. As far as I know they have not suffered trauma in their childhood and only one smokes pot. Can I fix this or is it out of my hands and time to let it go?

I hear what your saying but I've had too many of these people in my life cause me great grief and almost destroy me. I've had them in my family of origin, school bully, married one and have had several bosses and coworkers who were narcissists or sociopaths. I'm a codependent so it really was very difficult to deal with all of these people who were poison to me but it also help me to get help for my unresolved childhood issues and get healthy. So I'm in the process of letting it go for my own health. Not there yet.

This video worked well, and more of them would be good.

Great video.

I agree, more like this would be good. Then maybe just maybe people could see how they shouldn't treat there kids. And maybe at the end you could add something along the lines of what different could be done for a better outcome in life.

Second that .

Absolutely agree!

EVIL

FRED WAS A DEVIL 😈🔥👿 AS WELL.

Lisa Smith yes very true. I replied before I head the end of the tragic tale

Lisa Smith Why do you say that? There's very little mentioned about him. So I'm just curious what leads you to believe that

Narc Begone he agreed to the young babysitter being allowed to physically abuse Thomas. And then add all the torture from the mother, which wouldn’t be able to take place had his father not been so passive. It went on right under his nose and he did not take action, and the fact he ran off with the babysitter who was so much younger shows you even more how twisted he was. Their son did not really stand a chance to be a whole person with an upbringing like that. So yes, enough is known about the father to know he wasn’t there for his son or healthy.

We don't really know that he agreed to anything. He may have had no clue that the mother instructed the babysitter to use the belt. Same with the rest of mother's torture. Unless I'm forgetting something. He could have been never home, and told all kinds of lies by the mother. She could have told the father that Thomas wanted to stay in his room all the time, for all i know. Pathological liars make up all kinds of stories. We don't know what the father was told. All we know is that he didn't care to find out for himself, or to bond with his son.

Sounds a bit like mine but not so extreme. I thought all English families were like this

I ran away at 19 but I still struggle with jobs

Sounds like you were a victim of crazy. So sorry. I had a boss that was a narcissistic bully for the 17 years I was under her. Very sneaky. After 17 years she was berating me while I had patients right in front of me so I would have to act like I was having a professional conversation. That time and after 17 years of this, I went in a back room and vented to a friend co worker, "why does she have to act like such a bitch". A religious narc co worker over heard and told her. After that she spent a relentless 1 1/2 years in a smear campaign until I was fired. You were so much stronger than me ....recording! I did nothing, just let it happen. I admire you! Stay strong!

@@debsabatino311 I'm sorry a supposedly CHRISTIAN person didn't just speak with you as they should have, privately. They will answer for that.

@@brusselsprout5851 yes, she always manages to stay on top even though it is common knowledge within the department staff that she is a bully and sneaky in berating her staff which she doesn't deserve to have under her. They are the best! Btw she is a "minister ".

Why is it so hard to defend oneself (within the system) from a narcissist, and s/he always seems to escape repercussions for attacks while the victim/s feel the impact? I'm noticing it seems to be mostly ladies on here at the moment...? But there are probably a few fans of contact sports, no? The ref always sees the second punch. It sounds goofy, but narcissists use this basic principle to their advantage -- like pros.

My god that's horrible 😢 .You poor thing .It true you can not trust ppl in "positions of authority " . Most of them are the worst of the monsters.

@@ninavandenabbeele9667 Like a bad diet habits in a family triggering health conditions is perpetrated over generations, so can coping skills and defense mechanisms. The latter usually isn't blamed on family genetics as the former often is.

April TEE-ZEE true .

Yes my husband does not have many memories of childhood, he has narcissistic personality disorder and I’m pretty sure his mother has NPD as well and they are the coldest, most unempathetic people I’ve ever met.

Yes

Therapist had a grandiosity complex, playing God deciding who should have kids and who shouldn't. I would look into suing the therapist. Thomas doesn't even need to worry about evidence gathering - she put the case out there herself.

It's a gross violation of boundaries by the therapist to say he shouldn't have kids.

I'm the least bit surprised that the father ran away with the baby sitter. probably that was the best choice for him, too

@JD Jones She was also there as a replacement or additional source of supply to the son.

The dad ran off with her, which is probably why he wanted her there to begin with.

@@maryskelton2562 , no i don't think so, i think the mom wanted her there to begin with. the mom ran the show. but mom did not have the foresight to see that the babysitter would usurp her in the end.

That part shows the struggle the mother was in with her husband, that in turn was metted out on the son. I am not excusing her behaviour but it looks like that mother also had issues and she only felt validated when oppressing Thomas

If you ask Thomas's parents, they will swear up and down that they loved him and he was a spoiled ungrateful brat. Abusers don't know what love is, but will use the word and confuse you.

So sad Grimm 333.

Same with me, my mother got angry and disturbed my father too when friends came over. I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers with my friends either.

I HOPE YOU ARE HEALED.

@@lisasmith516 Yeah, I don't know, but some of my siblings have become narcisisstic too. Atleast I'm aware of how they behave.

@@brusselsprout5851 Yes, I've realised this as a grown up when I look back on my childhood. The thing is I always knew that there was something wrong with my parents and that they didn't treat me or my siblings in a good way. But I didn't know what kind of dissorder it was. And as a child I had other peers in my class that were friends with me that also were acting in a narcisisstic way, their parents too. So, I was surronded by narcisissts without realising it. I kind of thought that I was the problem because I was "the minority". My parents even shamed me some years after when I had a hard time making friends. They said that I was antisocial and that it was my own fault. It's hard for a person to understand that a parent or a partner or relative want's to hurt you on purpose because of this dissorder.

Most people just think we're pricks.

Empathize yes, tolerate no.

It's not impossible to control it. Some people simply don't want to make the effort.

ruebensfilms that’s why i used the word empathize and not tolerate

Just stressing the point not correcting. I hear you.

That's quite a sacrifice -- sounds like you have made your way to some serious self-awareness. Hope you find ways to pass it along. (As someone else who chose not to have bio kids, for somewhat different reasons, I think there are lots of ways to pass on your heart and your lessons!) 🙏😊

The belt was a set up by narc mother who WANTED him to have a record. Even wanted to put him in prison! What a way to make sure he never becomes an independent adult. She gets to play victim in public because her son is in jail, AND she gets to control him forever because he is now unemployable and stuck living with her. And can't find an apartment with a record, either. Of course she understood that a 15 year old boy is not going to take a belt beating from a 14 year old girl! That's insane. The one who should have been arrested that day was the mother, because she set the whole thing up! She gave authorization to a "babysitter" to hit her son with a belt?! If that cop had half a brain and used it, he'd call child protection services on the mother. Instead of arresting a teenage boy for not just standing still while someone is trying to hit him. That c*nt belongs in prison.better yet, in a straight jacket.

100% agree.

My mom's ex boyfriend's mother moved down the street from us when I was young, she was from East Germany, yup, that one, and had escaped. She got custody of a nephew with ADD. The poor kid had to go to bed at 6 every night, and it was advertised to everyone in the neighborhood. The kid chose to move back in with his drug addict mother a few years later, it was that bad. I often think about the trauma she experienced, enough to escape at the risk of death and how that trauma was transferred to a small child with ADD and nobody was around to teach him coping skills. The humiliation of such an early bedtime was well understood by all the kids.

@@lindsey9728 ya i used to wish either of my parents had an addiction or something so i wouldn't look like i deserved/needed to be under such tight control.

@@pebblebrookbooks4852 I'm so sorry.

Narc Begone this was my thoughts exactly. Sounds like a misdiagnosis to me. He is scarred from the trauma he went through. His mother was the narcissist and his father was the enabler and when the babysitter came he saw a way out and took it

He might not have been, but you gotta understand that by the time Thomas went into therapy, he was well into adulthood and it was too late- he'd developed it.

Noble Nemesis Why make dumb statements? Age is nowhere on the list of any kind of diagnostic criteria. Misdiagnosis is a problem totally independent of age. You seem to be making a claim that everyone raised by a narcissist grows up to be a narcissist which is false.

And if you want me to understand something, bring evidence, not your imagination.

I'm making the claim that nurture took hold before any proper insight or help could be brought to him, yep. If you think that's a dumb statement, I smile. I think that the diagnosis you speak of could have been appropriate had someone intervened sooner, but it's pretty clear, if you listen to Dr Grande, that the man had manifested the disorder by the time anyone could help him. You could argue that the therapist was not suitable for him, though, and I'd be willing to agree with that. Anyways, you seem pretty emotionally invested in this, I must admit, so I wish you well. lol @@narcbegone1507

@@brusselsprout5851 You're right. Not that I would mind him doing either of those things, but man... How does one even help that? Despite everything?

@@brusselsprout5851 I wish I knew enough to have the competence to help, to be honest.

@JD Jones You think so? If I have to consider a moment's worth of validation for a whole life of dysfunction... It wouldn't really help much at all. Like: im validated, now what? Maybe I'm overthinking it lol

Ankida, it's not really just a moment. It takes longer to hear someone out. Over multiple conversations. Hearing someone out is an act of kindness. Telling their story is a little step in a long healing process for abuse victims.

@@narcbegone1507 I am aware of this, but I'm also in no position to help abuse victims. My momentary good intentions are the best I can do, mutually, right now.

I think NPD is a learned behavior. I also think it’s role modeled for them in their childhood.

@@NarcissisticAbuseRehab I think its compensatory after hearing this.

@@NarcissisticAbuseRehab You should really read some of Otto Kernberg's work.

Hello! How would you say your progress is going to take responsibility? I'm in the same boat and am looking for more reassurances that change is possible if one has the desire to do so. Thank you in advance.

Yeah, well, Betty had better "check her 6" for the rest of her life....

By my own case it was aggressiv/passive behavior by a dark triad step mother, using my family as supply, killed my biologic mother to use me as servant, teaching me a very dysfunktionel pathern and tell what girl I was allowed to be with, to awoid development from dysfunktionel pathern and later when married, I was poisened by my wife many times, but it didn't work out, so her father payed a criminal to crush my arm to get insurance money. Today after 4 years in psykiatry i wrote all they did, but had to study medicin, forensics, psychology, psykiatry and law, to get the right details about the abuse, beside watching a lot of videos and getting taught about everything about narcissism

It's a periode of 37 years in abuse, but there has been many attempts of murder according to my information and yes i'm lucky to be alive 🙏👍

The case is much more complex, but what mentioned gives a clue, I have written 120 a4 pages to the psykiatry with models of a child as hostages, what affects and how mental abuse affect the childs possibilities as adult and also as child, by lack of knowledge and lack of possibilities to learn because of abusive behavior from npd stepmother. I also study criminal cases to learn other angels of insight to dysfunktional pathern, behavior or personality and ofcourse the narcissistic dark triad behavior with all kinds of crime

A child is like buying a new computer, software has to be added and that's why a child is a hostage, because it depends on the parents and if the software is bad or wrong somehow the outcome will be a result of the taught behavior/ system ☝️🤔

In this case study Dr. Grande actually describe how a scapegoat is raised and how the outcome is when the child is a adult

Pray for THEM, and present a very adult manner towards their "misbehaving."