I am divorced and received an ecclesiastical annulment because my ex-husband didn't tell me he was gay. He was not faithful to me in our marriage and was emotionally and verbally abusive. Annulment was supported by several priests I know, and was granted about 18 months after I submitted my application (Covid interfered and added about 9 months to the process).
I know that this is off topic, but my son was baptized into the Church on Saturday (May 27, 2023)!! My daughter is asking questions and is considering joining RCIA this fall. Also, please pray for her because she fell at work Sunday and had a seizure. She is at home and in good spirits. Thanks!! 😊
I’m really grateful you’ve been making Catholicism in Focus videos again. They’re really fun and informative, and you fit the teacher role really well!
This may be a level of insider baseball that most viewers wouldn't be interested in, but I'd love to see a Catholicism in Focus where you go through the list of reasons for annulment and break them down.
I’m for that! Topics like these are so complicated and expansive that it would probably take more than an 8 minute video (despite it’s great quality) to cover.
Being one who has gone through the annulment process. Fr. Casey, you did great in explaining. If only I had the capacity of having this knowledge in the previous relationship. Thanks to be God, that it was declared annulled, I am making sure to discern carefully this time. Hope future spouses watches this video or Bishop Robert Barron's video on marriage. Really eye opener.
@Sienkiewicz Monika sure, mine through the Diocese of Tucson, which they charged $25 for the process, and mine actually took approximately two to three years to make a decision
@@sienkiewiczmonika1161 please understand the conditions very greatly as do the costs, many parishes will allow the process to continue regardless of money and most people never pay enough to cover actual costs. For example someone married once civilly and divorced (invalid criteria illicit form) it "may" be simple. Others with
I am divorced. Our family went through annulment. If I am ever given the opportunity to marry again, I would not want to leave the Sacraments. I am grateful for the grace of staying close to my Faith. I still pray everyday for my kids and my former spouse that things will work themselves out. ❤ Thanks for covering this topic, Father Casey.
This is such a prescient video for me. My wife had an affair which I discovered, and she left me to be with her adulterous lover. I begged her to reconsider and not divorce me, but she insisted on it. She eventually told me I had to sign the papers or the judge would make a decree. Over two years after she told me she wanted the divorce, I relented and signed the papers. We were not married in the Catholic Church, but I recently completed RCIA and was confirmed in the Church and attend Mass regularly and partake in the sacraments. She is an avowed atheist and always has been. I know I came into the Church of my own free will, so I fully understood what it meant when I came into full Communion with the Church. Even though my wife committed adultery and forced the divorce upon me against my will, I am now forced into a life of celibacy unless I pursue an annulment. I am not going to lie, it is extremely difficult to contemplate living the rest of my life alone in the earthly sense (I always have my beloved Jesus and the Angels and Saints). It is a struggle every day. When priests take their vows, they know what they are signing up for. I guess I did too when I heeded the call to join the one true Church. But I definitely did not fully appreciate how hard it would be. Please pray for me. O my Jesus! Forgive us our sins. Save us from the fires of Hell. Lead all Souls to Heaven, especially those who are in most need of Thy Mercy!
I thought marriage was only sacramental if it was between two baptized Christians. If your wife is atheist and not baptized, then it wasn't a sacramental marriage. You should ask a priest about it, though.
Well done,Father. I heard a priest once joke that marriage is the only vocation without a period of discernment. During our pre-Cana session 42 years ago, the priest said that marriage was not a 50-50 relationship, but that we must give 100%. All the time. Wise words over the years
Exactly the same thing we heard 43 years ago. That one thought melded our hearts 🥰 together. That one thought got us through some tougher times. Now we stand on those times hand in hand, looking forward to the rest of our lives.
I'm not Catholic, but I admire how seriously marriage is treated in Catholicism. I think it would save a world of pain and heartbreak for many people if we all took the commitment of marriage that seriously. Too many people marry for the wrong reasons or without really thinking about what they are doing.
As a Catholic myself, every subject of Catholic teaching always has such a high standard and deep thoughts, even becoming a Catholic has a long process. And that's why many Catholics, including myself, fail everyday. Because how hard it is to live the faith and to have such self control. The same reason why I choose to stay, despite the skepticism or scandals, it's because the Church take everything seriously.
@@cherrypinkblue don’t lose hope or stop trying to live like a son of God because He loves you for who you are, don’t forget that. It’s okay to sometimes make mistakes and in the eye of God they are forgiven no matter what, as long as you put Jesus first. Have a blessed day! ❤
I agree that it should be taken seriously, but as an example, I worked with a woman who literally divorced her husband after being married for less than a year. She married in the Catholic Church and the preparation didn't make a difference. Also, as someone who has never married, I realize how painful it must be for divorced Catholics who still want to practice (I am a cultural Catholic and do not practice at all)
I am newly divorced but am opting to not seek an annulment. I knew exactly what I was agreeing to with God. He's already remarried but that's not my problem. 😊
I'm getting married in December in my church. I'm 36 so a little older, I am happy I waited for the right one and we are going through the pre-cana classes now
Thank you Father Casey. I converted to Catholicism when I was married in the US. I did grow up catholic here in Australia and even catholic high school. I assumed my marriage was great. I loved my husband and gave up a lot to come to Ohio. So when he ended it, as I found out later he had been cheating for 2 years. He sent me back to Western Australia. I had been in Ohio for 13 years. I had to rebuild my life over. I found my local parish and was enjoying it. This is until a sermon one Sunday talked about divorce. It was stated that the husband is free but the wife will always be committing adultery. I met with the priest for clarification, and was told this again. I’ve stayed away from the church for 8 years as I was made to feel horrible. My two grandkids are now in the local Catholic primary school. I found your channel and Upon Friar review. It’s definitely been a sign from god to go back to church 🙏 so a very big thank you from Western Australia.
Something went terribly wrong on two different issues. Its sad the husband left and you now join a huge group of Catholics abandon by the spouse and treated roughly by the Church. Second the communication that marriage treated men different than women is simply wrong. That is not and has never been a catholic teaching rule or law.
@@whatsup3270 what’s worse is the woman he cheated on me was a “mutual” friend. She’s catholic and cheated on her husband. My ex and her announced their engagement 3 weeks after our divorce was finalised. They married 5 months later. He was abusive to me, but I was in love.
Just had my finals in Theology regarding marriage in the Catholic context, and I am so glad all of the studying I did lead me to understand fully all parts of this video. Thank you Fr. Casey! ❤
Question... My Mom and her husband got married in their early 20s... marriage only lasted like 1 year.. they've been separated ever since... she is almost 50 now and has been with her BF for 20+yrs... my mom filed for divorce, but her husband never wants to accept her divorce.. If my mom gets divorced would she be able to marry again or no?
In the Philippines 🇵🇭, a mainly Catholic nation, it is still illegal to get a divorce. The Catholic Church in the Phillipines will have to go back to the Vatican in Rome to “annul” a Catholic Filipino marriage. The country of the Philippines 🇵🇭 is the last country in the world to still prohibit divorce. The second last was, as far as I know, was Malta 🇲🇹 ( in 2011)
And my country, Chile, was til 2004 one of the 3 countries that did not allow divorce. We approved the law and 20 years later it has been a total disaster. Half of married couples are divorced now.
My great aunt married and moved from Detroit to San Francisco, away from her family. He beat her, pretty much isolated her, and brought his mistress home and expected her to wait on both of them. Finally, my great grandfather and grandfather went out and brought her and her baby home. She was in her early 20’s. She lived to be 90. She never divorced him, never dated, and lived alone for the rest of her life. She married in the church. There was no chance of an annulment. It seemed a pretty grim life to me. I BTW married in the church and have been married for 45 years. We’ve gone through some very difficult times but never considered divorcing.
Thank you for clarifying this. It probably will help a lot of people. I am a catholic and got married in the faith. When I became disabled and medically retired my husband left me for my best friend who i discovered he had been having an affair with for years. He was an alcoholic for many years and so could not support our children. Eventually I instigated a divorce. I was banned not only from all sacraments but from even going to mass or entering the church. I have never even thought about having another relationship; Yet he was allowed to marry his latest girlfriend in the same church. Since moving to another area where I was welcomed back into the church, I know realise that the decisions made where not Gods but mans. Anyone in the same position should seek out another parish and forgive the people involved. I understand now It is their will and not Gods that they are undertaking.
@@Rikkoshaye Thanks! One thing it taught me was how precious the gift of faith is. I used to walk my dog at sunset or sunrise and look up to the sky and pray and read the bible. I realised then that this beautiful world we live in, that he created for us could become my church and no one appart me could take my beliefs away from me. So in a way it made my faith in God deeper and more personal.
I’m going through an annulment now as a preparation for coming into full communion in the Catholic Church. So far it has been a pleasant experience. I only wish it could go a little faster, especially since my case is quite simple and I really, really want to take communion and get confirmed.
You shouldn’t need an annulment. If you don’t have communion and confirmation, you couldn’t have had a liturgical service wedding and therefore weren’t married in The Church. Since the marriage lacked form it wouldn’t be considered valid and you wouldn’t qualify for an annulment.
@@AnABSOLUTEBarbarian unfortunately not true. Non-Catholic marriage are automatically considered valid. If I had been Catholic, it would be a lack of form, but since I wasn’t my case don’t go under that. My ex is not validly baptised, so it’s not sacramental, but it still have to go through the whole process of annulment.
I think I have the same catechism! Great resources but it’s little bit hard to understand. I have traumatic brain injury a long time ago but it’s frustrating because I have aphasia. All kinds for this book, catechism! I got it 2022 December for Christmas, our lord and savior!!!! Thank you friar/priest!
In a culture where everything is treated as disposable, it is nice to have institutions like the Roman Catholic Church, that remind us that certain things, like the bond of matrimony, should not be treated so flippantly. It comes as no surprise that as society has become so cavalier about the bond between a man and woman can also see human life, the very product of this bond, as nothing more than an inconvenience that can be discarded.
Good video! I hadn’t considered that divorce without remarriage might not be a sin or incur excommunication. I worry a little that this might confuse separation and “no longer married,” though a charitable interpretation of what people mean by divorce could allow for the former. Keep up the good work!
My girlfriend and I agreed to get married next year and this video really helped me a lot to understand more about marriage and matrimony. Friends pray for me. Lord Jesus have mercy on me.
I am divorced and Catholic. I now know we have no authority to break this covenant. I now live a chaste life. This is God's law. Even if the church decides divorce is ok...well they can't.
Hmm my great aunt was married for probably 40 years and was always a stay at home mom, when her husband announced that he had a girlfriend and he'd be moving in with her. They never got divorced but I absolutely think they should have. He never filed for divorce because then a judge would have awarded my great aunt 1/2 of his money plus spousal support for the rest of her life. She spent the rest of her life alone and with no money to do anything.
That was her choice. I don´t know if she was catholic, in order to get some justice with the money. Now, even if the get the divorce for finantial reasons, the thing is we can´t get married again.
This is very good topic. Modern knowledge of relationships can head off problems before they start. Mother Angelica knew the feeling of walking in on an argument, evidently she was not skilled in relationships! Which the Bible tells us what to do, not how to do it. But we have plenty of knowledge on relationships, social interactions, conflict resolution, etc. Just like eating swine when we have such a huge wide selection to choose from, where it's a choice to eat a pig, not necessity as it was a 1/2 century ago and prior. Same with marriage, family life, etc.
My understanding is I can have what is called a secular divorce but under the eyes of God we’re still married and if I want to get married again one should see if the previous marriage can be annulled if it was lacking in some way. When my wife and I got married she had to have her previous marriage annulled and for reasons I won’t go into it fit into that category to be annulled. Once that was done we got married in the Church
My only comment: I wish we had social media and Father Casey decades and generations ago. I was clueless as a young adult (at least I was able to get an annulment while they were uncommon).
I live in the only predominantly Catholic country in Asia, divorce is not allowed here, the bill on divorce was shot down in congress a few years back. Annulment is allowed. And I have almost memorised the prerequisites as one of my friends went through and one of my siblings is a lawyer.
I am critical of church doublespeak where in the text that prohibits remarriage after divorce also prohibits what God joined together let man not SEPARATE, but the church tolerates separation and “civil divorce”
Separation does not mean divorce. And the Church can´t put at risk the life and health of the innocent spouse and the kids. But you can´t remarry of you are separted.
I received my Declaration of Nullity in 1987. My current spouse was also granted an Annulment from her first marriage the same year. We have been remarried in the Catholic Church for 35 years. The process in 1987 was very daunting. Pope Francis has made significant changes to this most misunderstood process in the Catholic Church. In our archdiocese, the Archbishop has told the Metropolitan Tribunal that all cases should be completed within 1 calendar year of their submittal. Thanks for this video, especially the part about receiving the Eucharist and other sacraments.
Father, can you do a video in relation to visit Orthodox Church, Coptic Church as well as visiting Catholic rites Churches like Alexandrian rites and Byzantine rites in communion with the Catholic Church.
You could also just break with the Church, declare yourself the head of the Church in your country, outlaw the practice of Catholicism, seize the monasteries, and then marry Ann Boleyn anyway. ;-)
It is quite interesting that in my country, even a legal marriage can only be annulled for a valid reason. Otherwise there is only the official divorce. For example: -One spouse was unconscious at the time of marriage or had a temporary mental disorder. This can be caused, for example, by heavy alcohol or drug consumption. - At the time of the marriage, one spouse did not know that it was a marriage. -A spouse was fraudulently deceived in order to enter into marriage. If the other spouse had known about this deception, he might not have entered into the marriage. However, this point does not apply to fraudulent financial circumstances. Basically, it is all about serious contagious diseases such as HIV or concealed impotence. -One spouse was forced into marriage by threats. -It was already agreed at the time of marriage that both spouses did not want to pursue their marital obligations. This is what is known as a sham marriage. ** Sounds almost like the rules of the Catholic Church, just more explicit
@@johns1834 I don’t have to ask a priest. I know. Civil marriages can be annulled under certain circumstances. It’s secular law. Marriages in the Catholic church can be annulled according to church law. Two different things. Don’t know what point you’re trying to make.. I suggest you go see a divorce lawyer and find out for yourself.
I never really understood divorce when I was young because where I grew up (the Philippines), divorce does not even exist. There is no law for it. When you're married, you're married forever! Im more familiar with the concept of annulment than divorce.
In Chile it was the same til 2004 we passed a a law to get divorced. 20 years later it has been a total disaster, half of married couple end up in a divorce.
@@jacquelinewinter7312 Before the divorce law of 2004, here in Chile you could get legallly separated, and file for child support. But you could not marry again.
I had an annulment. I’m Byzantine rite, and according to byzantine canon law - if someone reaches their third annulment they are not permitted to marry again.
If "divorced people are allowed to receive Communion," then it's never unjust because there's never a guilty spouse. Then how can it be a "grave offense" if no party is guilty?
We say its a covenant and with this usually is a blood sacrifice. Im leading to the issue of being virgin when marrying and 8 think the church is missing on something or possibly not telling.
Used to be episcopalian, where marriage/divorce/remarriage is just fine, along with homosexuality, and murder/abortion. The episcopal church of today basically completely ignores what the Bible says. Luckily, we found our way to the Catholic Church and are currently in the process of completing our annulments. It is definitely not a simple process and has taken over a year. Our Priest is really GREAT! Yes, we are openly living in sin, do not recieve the Eucharist yet, actually refrain from sexual intimacy, pending the annulments, and hope to be in full communion soon. Please pray for us. We decided to take Mary's advice and simply, "Do whatever He tells you." Thank God for the Catholic Church.
fyi - Living in a Natural State of Marriage outside the Church is not a sin, however you should not receive communion ( it is actually participate in Eucharistic celebrations ). If you live celibate you can complete your other sacraments and take communion.
@@whatsup3270 True, no argument there. Marriage outside the Church natural or otherwise is not a sin. Divorce is not a sin either. It is divorce and remarriage that is the sin per Jesus's own words. Mark 10:11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” The only way around that is to show the 1st marriage was never a valid union in God's eyes, such as a 'shotgun' marriage' for example, hence the annulment process.
I am preparing to become engaged to my boyfriend and I have been watching many videos about Catholic marriage to prepare my heart for this major step. Are there any resources you recommend for Catholic women preparing for marriage?
I have my theory of marriage and children: i think of a triangle with God at the top and a single person at the bottom, but the triangle is incomplete. Then that person takes a spouse and they become one. BUT now the triangle is incomplete again. Then come children and the triangle is complete: God, husband/wife and children.
Emily Wilson here on youtube is a Catholic writer and speaker and has a series on 'Navigating Engagement'. It's a paid course, but she has videos on her channel related to engagement and marriage
"Ask Your Husband" by Stephanie Gordon "Marry Him and be Submissive" by Costanza Miriano "Habbits For A Healthy Marriage" by Richard Fitzgibbons and "Three To Get Married" by Archbishop Fulton Sheen
Is anything considered differently if a person already divorced and remarried by the state and their own knowledge converts to Catholicism? Or if the previous marriage wasn't between two Catholics? Like a Catholic and a Protestant or catholic and atheist
If a non-Catholic Christian is married in a Protestant Church, the Catholic Church recognizes it as a valid marriage, meaning that they cannot get divorced and remarried in the Church. The somewhat ironic situation is that if a Catholic gets married in a Protestant Church or civilly married (without permission from the Church) this is considered an invalid marriage, and so getting divorced does not take an annulment and they are free to marry.
The video's great. A deep dive into the two special exceptions where one or both parties are not baptized--the Pauline and Petrine Privileges--would be a great addendum here.
Father Casey, can you do a video about what this part in the creed means: He will come to judge the living and the dead. I have a catechist friend who thinks this means we'll have two judgments. One personal and one as part of mankind. I don't think that's quite right. Please help us clear this up 😅 many thanks from Phoenix Arizona!
not 2 judgements for you, one judgement at year death, and a wait until the resurrection when the living (at that time) will be judged but it is their earthly death so really the same judgement just at god's time. Saints ( humans who god accepted at their judgement) will join together then.
I was looking at the Catholic church, but then the marriage thing scared me. I've been married 3 times. My husband is the love of my life and If we had met when we were younger we would have had a bunch of kids! But alas.
The only thing that confuses me is why can’t they start anew and form a healthy and loving relationship with another person after getting a civil divorce or legal separation. I know the bond is unbreakable, but still.
Even though I'm not Catholic, I wanted to comment that there is someone in my church who got divorced and likes judging people who aren't married. He is seeing another woman, so arguably this is a sin and he shouldn't be judging people who aren't living in sin, just as Christ and most of the apostles were single and Paul teaches that marriage isn't for everyone, perhaps he could learn something from this before being a judge of others.
We take marriage extremely seriously in the LCMS church. No annulments. Just what the Bible teaches. I worked for the judicial vicar in college and rubber stamped annulments. I wouldn’t say the church takes it overly serious. It does depend on your diocese though. Just simpler to follow scripture in my opinion
What translation you are using in Matthew 19:9? The Greek text does not say, "unlawful." The Greek word used is πορνεία; which always refers to sexual immorality. In Matthew 19:9, the man who "divorces his wife" is pictured as being married and then getting a divorce due to sexual sin. The divorce is permissible according to Jesus because the marriage covenant was broken through πορνεία (sexual immorality). It was a legitimate marriage before the immorality, and that marriage was ended via divorce. Annulment is not found in Matthew 19, or any other biblical text. In the end, to annul a marriage for anything other than sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) or abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15), is a sinful divorce that God hates (Malachi 2:16). Even if it is sanctioned by Rome.
@@whatsup3270 I am confused by your statement. What doesn't translate directly from the Mosaic law? The Mosaic law was written in Hebrew, and the statement in the NT was written in Greek . The specific verse I am discussing (Matthew 19:9) is not a reference from the Mosaic law.
@@servantsofchristministries7789 The teaching from Jesus was to people under they Law of Moses in those laws the welfare of women was a huge issue because the women could not own property, do business, or support themselves in usual ways. Thus the subject at hand was the requirements of her husband. Notice the adultery doesn't apply to the man. In the statement Jesus is recognizing the condition in which the wife abuses her husband by intentional adultery. Its not the adultery it is the abuse which is the issue. Since we are not under those conditions today we should not use that quote in these conditions. Simply we live in a different context, women can own property, can have money and jobs. The intent should remain the standard of measure should not, thus Catholics use lawful as the measure, not female adultery.
The non-catholic has to be found free to marry which can be easier via "form" and there is more as in a dispensation for the catholic. So to the local volunteer marriage ministers you go.
My devout catholic grandmother divorced her cheating, abusive husband when he refused to stop sleeping with other women. _The church excommunicated her for it._
I'm sorry to hear about this situation as it is seems like there was a lot of trauma and then misunderstanding stacked upon it. The Church does not excommunicate for this, and it never has. As I said in the video, she has no right to remarry, but leaving that relationship is supported by the law of the Church. (And frankly, it's situations like these that inspired me to make this video. There is so much misunderstanding.)
I would encourage you to read a newer comment by maximillianmadrigal6661 whose question and answer would likely help understand your grandmothers condition.
Some will use this Scripture regarding marriage: New American Standard Bible Yet if the unbelieving one is leaving, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace. 1 Cor. 7:15. This verse can be interpreted that adultery is grounds for divorce, and that one can remarry. The problem is that the Church of the LORD Jesus Christ is not taking marriage seriously or working things out, not enough communication or patience. I have been married 38 years.
St. Paul is not talking about adultery here (unfaithfulness to the spouse) but rather unbelief (unfaithfulness to God.) For this reason, the Church has what is referred to as the Pauline privilege: an annulment of a marriage if it occurred before the spouses were baptized. If one remains unbaptized, the baptized on can leave the marriage rather than stay with a non-Christian.
@@BreakingInTheHabit I was thinking of this verse with Matthew 19:9. What I have a real problem with is Christians immediately going to Divorce. What we need to do as married people is to strongly state, “No, Divorce is not an option!” That is what I have done!!
@@TruthLivesNow What is difficult is when you were married in the Church yet your spouse never remained faithful (basically cheated the whole marriage), mental, emotional, physical abuse and I did try to work it out for 20 years. Does God really expect women to remain chained to that horror for the rest of her life? Usually they would say separate but not divorce. That leaves the woman alone for the rest of their life with no option for marital happiness and a real covenant marriage all for one mistake. Especially when she upheld the covenant but he did not.
so if you're abandoned, your spouse leaves you, stops being catholic, moves on and wants nothing to do with you, is the abandoned spouse just suppose to remain faithful to that spouse? even if you did nothing wrong, trying to win back an ex when they aren't interested is basically stalking, is the abandoned spouse just supposed to never move on and be happy?
Yes, that is correct and thus the great error. The scripture teachings are about preventing this and once it happens the current teachings achieve opposite the desired results. The Church imposes exactly what it is against. The good catholic that played by all the rules lives alone in perpetuity hoping one day the spouse will return. A change is needed, the Church should but will not recognize the self evident state of abandonment. Even a decade later the Church refuses to see the two are not one. And there is more, to seek an annulment on the grounds of one spouse misrepresenting their desire to be married, that spouse which did the abandonment must cooperate which they often don't desire to do since they are hiding from their responsibilities and are often catholic and don't want to address the multigenerations in the family who are upset about the actions. . For millions of Catholics in this state it is a painful way to live.
@@whatsup3270This is the fruit of legalism, friends. It’s not pretty. It’s like living in an alternate universe. No thanks. I’ll take common sense over legalism any day!
I am a Catholic, my wife and I have been married for over 12 years. I love her deeply but our marriage has severely declined in recent years. My wife filed for divorce and told her lawyer she is not interested in reconciliation. I am unsure of what to do, only communication is via our attorneys.
Sorry Fr. Casey Cole, but I'd like to have a bit of fun with this one. What about if, a person divorces, and then remarries, but the marriage is a "Josephine" (i.e. virginal) marriage? What if they marry, but choose to never consummate it, living instead like brother and sister? Would the remarriage still be sinful?
@@BreakingInTheHabit 😂 oh no, that made me burst out laughing. But jokes aside. I’m really interested in your take about what’s appropriate and isn’t. I asked my priest and he tended to agree with my own opnion on how to go about things But I seen ppl online even condemning hand holding and hugging, to even claim it’s a mortal sin,which I disagreed with strongly.
I would suggest there could be a 7th criterion for a valid Catholic marriage… that actually (at least traditionally speaking) takes place after the ceremony… and that is consummation. Or could this be apart of lifelong vows?
I think that's probably implied in the part about being open to children. If you never actually attempt or do what's necessary for children, it's not a valid marriage.
If you read JPII’s theology of the body, a point he makes again and again is that marriage is a full gift of oneself to their spouse. In order for it to be a full gift, you must give your body in the conjugal act. This of course helps show that you have become one flesh. I would definitely agree that consummation is part of the marriage and you are not fully married until the act is done
That was very clear and concise. Thank you. I learned that the Catholic translation in Matt 19:9 for unlawful marriage “porneia” meant incestuous as described in Lev 18. Did the new definition you described replace its meaning at some point? Maybe I’m understanding this wrong
@@carolinpurayidom4570My Catholic concordance says this about Matthew’s reference to “unless the marriage is unlawful”: Matthew gives as a reason why a marriage must be broken refers to a situation peculiar to his community: the violation of Mosaic law forbidding marriage between persons of certain blood and/or legal relationship (Lv 18:6-18). Marriages of that sort were regarded as incest (porneia).
@@icarojose6316 I’m curious, is there an index in that chapter of Matthew which explains what “unlawful” meant to Jews - incestuous relations as described in Leviticus 18?
I’m Catholic and not married but I feel the only time a marriage should be annulled is from adultery or unfaithfulness also I feel some couples divorce because they aren’t ready for marriage life, divorce is harsh on men a relative of mine is divorced while the former wife doesn’t need to pay child support. Ridiculous
Annulment also make sense if two people didn't realize they were closely related when they got married. If a marriage is incestuous, then it should be declared null. Another reason would be if one person was forced into the marriage unwillingly. If they didn't freely consent, it was not a valid marriage.
There’s a huge difference between the two extremes of not honoring the commitment of marriage and the other extreme of seeing it as so permanent that you must accept abuse. To accept abuse is to enable and encourage the sin of the abuser. This is another legalistic extreme.
@@Michellesvintagelibrary 100% of marriages are permanent. The church has due separation process (c 1151-55 and 1692-96). Every spouse who files for divorce is guilty until proven innocent.
So what if the girl I want to marry was married once, but left her husband on the grounds that he refused to give up drug abuse, lied, and mentally and verbally abused her? They were never catholic, but their marriage was still a religious one. Is she eligible for annulment?
If you have to even ask such a thing…you are definitely in a highly legalistic church. Obviously that marriage is invalid. The fact that the RCC makes you jump through legalistic hoops to “prove” it is ridiculous.
I am a convert and remarried my husband in 2019. We married at our baptist church and about two years later in 2021 became Catholic. He has had a mental breakdown at the begging of this year and ended up in jail. I waited fpr him to get out woth the hopes that we could figure out how to make our family work. He got out and is still very much out of his mind. He is not the same person he was. To make matters worse he is very angry at me and tells me we are not married. Right now i am worried for the safety of my boys because we do not know what je would do if he saw us. I have thought about divorce just so that I could have a custody agreement in place until he is willing to seek help. But I was not sure if that is allowed.
“Allowed”. Do you hear yourself? You and your children’s safety is at stake and you’re worried about legalism? Consider what Jesus thought and said about the legalism of the religious leaders of his time. And apply that to today. Jesus is not a fan of legalism. He is concerned about the fact that you’re throwing your precious life away. You’re not a martyr. You’re an enabler of sin. Leave that marriage immediately.
I was due to become a Catholic at the Easter vigil. Right at the end of RCIA i let it slip that my wife had been married and divorced before i met and married her. This seems to have been a deal breaker.
@daviddsouza735 its turned out to not be as bad as it first seemed. I still got baptised, just not confirmed until my wife's first marraige gets annulled and we get remarried in church. It is a strong contender for annulment as neither her nor her first husband are baptised, they were very young, it was a secular wedding so not before god and they had no children, so it wasnt a covenant with god for the procreation and education of offspring.
My wife had a 2 and a half year affair,during our separation she became Catholic, after our divorce she married her boyfriend, Does God recognize the marriage?
I am Protestant. I am currently married. I was married twice before. I was married thru a justice of the peace the first 2 times. Which were short. I am married to my third wife. We were married through our pastor and church. My question is. If I was thinking of changing to become Catholic. Will there be a major issue to achieve that?
I have a question for anyone with knowledge. I was baptised when i was 14 but not fully submerged, the priest poured water on my head 3 times is it a legitimate baptism or was it not enough water? Its a fear that i have had come up in my thoughts many times in my life and it kinda scares me as i want to be with God both in this life and when I enter his kingdom.
The post begs the question of "Why would someone think total immersion was needed?" There are several parts to a valid Baptism being submerged is not one of them. There are also forms of Baptism without water. Since you wrote "priest" licit is presumed and even an error (illicit) would not block a valid baptism. licit is church responsibility to perform correctly, valid is the responsibility of the (person) penitent.
@@whatsup3270 appreciate the answer even tho I struggle with understanding some of the more difficult wording you used. So you are saying its the church and priests responsibility of performing it correctly and my responsibility to get baptised?
@@davidandrews4454 As an adult it is your responsibility to understand the sacrament, request the sacrament of your own free will, be qualified for the sacrament, and live the sacrament. The form is on the Church and the Priest.
Okay, so I have a question... I got married young before I was religious, and it was literally a court room wedding with no fanfare. We literally just signed papers and went home. The reason for this was because I had just joined the Army and I was shipping out to basic training the next day. The military doesn't consider "girlfriends" to be a thing. This was during the height of the Iraq war and if I got deployed (which I eventually did) I didn't want her to be without support from the system. The eventual divorce was about as anti-climatic as well. 1.) Is that even a valid marriage as far as the catholic church is concerned? 2.) am I not saved if I remarry? (I wouldn't even ask if it weren't for there being someone I loved who I expressed my intent to out of a desire to do the right thing by God... but now I feel even more trapped than before) I have bad anxiety and scrupulosity and this stuff just tortures me to no end.
This last year I started considering converting to Catholicism, but I got divorced and re-married a few years ago. It seems I will never be actually accepted into the church so I suppose thats the end of the line for my conversion lol
