CCSVI and the emotional journey

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I made this video about a week ago before going to Virginia to meet Dr. Lee (I will talk about this in a future video). Recently, I have been having some problems making a video that I would feel comfortable posting and it took me a long time to create it because my cognitive problems are very challenging at times. Finally, after I tried a couple of times and I repeated what I wanted to say many times, I was able to come up with this video where I open myself up and explain why these past few months have been very difficult for me.
I would like to thank Christian, a young Italian man that doesn't have MS, not knowing what I was feeling, wrote me a very encouraging message that pushed me to try making another video...This is the result of his supporting words...

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26 июн 2010

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Комментарии : 45

@rickileeway 14 лет назад

Angela, you have so much compassion for others even though you are suffering so much yourself. The fact that you have maintained this gentle caring disposition shows a strength of character when some can become tough and embittered by their negative experiences. Don't ever change ! Rick.

@ThePennygirl 14 лет назад

OH I so relate here! trying to get on board in the US, am so overjoyed for others at the same time finding freedom! it keeps my heart of spirits filled with fuel to go on! Thank you for speaking your mind you do an amazing job at it :) enough so that others see there own anger and continue to fight for NOT JUST IS RIGHT! and due from the medical world, BUT WITH COMPASSION AND GODS SPEED.

@TheGothicRosie 14 лет назад

We shall never stop fighting! I am right there with you and I've got your back!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@TheGothicRosie Thank you, dear Rosie! I need to hear, to see and to read these words in times like this! We will get there, right? It might take us a while longer but we will get there!!! Thanks for the support!!!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@ThePennygirl Dear Susan, thank you for the very supporting and encouraging words. I so need them at times! It's quite hard to find compassionate doctors at this point and I feel that so many are afraid of getting on board with this great discovery! They want us to wait for two years or more and we can't wait! How did you do with Tysabri? Did everything go well with the infusion? I hope that someday soon we will have the liberation as a treatment for MS and not just the drugs! Hugs!

@donotconcede 14 лет назад

You did great on this video Angela. I look forward to the next one as I know that things have moved forward in a more positive direction. I am truly happy for you and can't wait to hear all about it when we talk. Hugs, Jude

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@CTYankeeMS Dear Mary Anne, thanks so much for the nice comments on the video and on my house! I am very proud of it because I painted it and decorated it by myself and I loved doing every bit of work I did some time before I got sick. I do believe it's important to stick together no matter how different we are. You are right: we need to be united and to stick together! God bless you too, dear Mary Anne :)

@SheliaSheckles 14 лет назад

Thank you for sharing this video. So many people can relate to what you have said.

@missalgernon 14 лет назад

Christian and the others are right Angela, what you do IS important. You are probably the sweetest, most positive person on here. And so dedicated to 'the cause'. So thanks, for being you. No need to be perfect in your videos either, we all understand being a bit scattered with MS (and being on camera!) Ive had so many MRIs I've lost coount - I actually find it relaxing and sometimes fall asleep now I'm so used to them! All the best, Amanda

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@donotconcede Dear Judy, I knew that I could count on you! :) Thank you so much for the kind comment. I am so grateful for your friendship and I love meeting you when I come down to Baltimore. You know that taking Tysabri is not my favorite thing and meeting you after the infusion turns my whole day around! I am glad you think that I did a good job with the video...it took me a long time, but I finally said what I wanted to say! Thank you for being my FRIEND, millions of hugs, Angela

@MSVlogSupport 14 лет назад

Hi Angela, First off you made yourself very clear and I understood all that you are feeling. It is hard to know that money is what keeping CCSVI away from us from having the procedure. I know for myself watching a lot of our friends having it done that I am very happy for them but also very jealous. I can't afford to go out of the country and I shoudn's have to. I am still looking for somewhere on my side of the country to have it done. I am not going to go away either! Hugs Andrea

@danbergamondo 14 лет назад

I'm sorry for all the issues and the difficulties... but this video is the proof that despite all the trials you can win over your troubles... this video (like everything you're able to do) is a great proof of the strength of your will! About doctors being insensitive: it's a shame how some of them behave, they really make everything harder... But see? Christian felt the need to write to you... we can still trust this humankind! :-) God bless him... and you!!!

@joevenditti 14 лет назад

they say when you fall off a horse. you automatically get back on. when you think you've lost, you stop and regroup, you rest & think, reenergize and come back twice as strong. those who say it can't be done, should move out of the way of those doing it. we will hit some dead ends and forks in the roads , and readjust the roadmap and find new paths and make new one's also. we never cease to be there day after day. the road less traveled is here and its heading for success. be ready, be happy now

@irishbear76 14 лет назад

You should never EVER stop doing this! THis is what you were born for. The power you spoke with about your negative feelings. (wow) This whole CCSVI thing is throwing me into a major depression (almost) I needed this video. To see the sweet Angela, the even-keeled Angela (which is EXACTLY LIKE MY ANGELA!) to see the kind, sweet RU-vidr Angela this angry really speaks volumes to how WRONG this is. Anyway. I loved this video. Blessings. Mark

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@shecklesdiva Thank you for writing and for caring. Please, learn more about CCSVI. Maybe, someday will we discover that other diseases might have something to do with CCSVI. I keep on hoping that, someday, we will have better treatments and possible cures for all neurological diseases! Take care, hugs Angela

@zedsys95 14 лет назад

I am not saying to stop fighting but to go easier, becouse we are not strong enough with our health. Greater things are coming soon and we will be liberated. Godbless, Zed.

@omexmc80 14 лет назад

Angela, it been so long i havnt seen you.. missed you! we are the real patriots, suffering from this desease to help fund our countries through the pharms.. I can relate to your anger and everything you have said is so true. we will get there soon there is only so long thay can be against it.. and like mark said, the cat is out of the bag.. i'm always here for you.. Omario

@notapplicable66 14 лет назад

I have found that writing stories, poems, lyrics, etc, can help with cognitive problems. I know it is different than verbal communication but I found it seems to help me. Thinking about things to write and actually doing it and then editing it afterwards also helps. And doing this with written words might even help when it comes to thinking with the verbal ones. I also find myself singing along with music and trying to remember the lyrics of the songs as I sing.

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@laurenvparrott Thank you, cara Lauren! I haven't heard from you in such a long time and I have missed you but I am having trouble keeping up with everyone lately because of time issues! I am getting ready to go back to my homeland very soon and I am really excited and happy to see everyone I love and miss! I just can't wait! I hope I'll do a video before I go...I have some news that I should share with you and with the other friends. I hope you are having a nice summer! Tanti baci Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@MSVlogSupport Dear Andrea, I really appreciate your honesty and I can see your point of view and I completely understand you. People shoudn't have to leave their own countries to get the help they need. I feel like I am living in the old days where everything was done in secret and people had to "run away" to be free or to get the help they needed! I am just like you and I would prefer to have the liberation in the two countries that I love. Let's fight some more and get this done here then!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@WithCourage2008 Dear Anna, finally, I got to post the video that I made about a week ago and I am glad that you came to see it. You are right when you say that we have to push and speak up until the goverments and the doctors start listening to us. I do think that the US is far behind with many things...with ecological, organic, healthy things...and with CCSVI too! I hope this country will catch up soon! :) I am looking forward to see one of your updates soon! Thanks for coming by! Ciao!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@neojazyc Thank you for the kind words, dear Graham and thank you for the nice videos that you sent my way once in a while. They are always deep and wonderful :) Thank you and have a nice weekend, hugs Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@zedsys95 Dear Zed, thank you for the kind comment and for being concerned about me. I find it a lot harder to see other suffering than to suffer myself. I think I am dealing better with my own pain than seeing other suffering. This is getting me more because I know that I can’t help them! I promise that I will try to go a little easier on this and that I will spend more time in my garden. I will try to "heal" myself with the beauty of my flowers! :) Thank you so much for caring!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@sandyCanada56 Dear Sandy, yes, I am quite exausted, I have to admit! Having MS and being an MS activist is a full time job! :) It is tirering but it's also a wonderful journey and it's quite fulfilling and I believe in what I do so much that everything comes so natural to me! Thanks for the comment and for being understanding. Have a nice rest of the day! Ciao! Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@christinedavi Dear Christine, Jackie, the owner of the Pink Door restaurant contacted me to sell the cards that I use to raise funds for the Buffalo study in her restaurant and we have been in touch since! She is a very nice lady and she told me that she was going to Skipe Dr. Zivadinov and that some people were going to go by and speak about CCSV! I am sure we will find out more soon! Thanks for listening and for being there for me :) I hope you are feeling good today. Take care! Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@omexmc80 Carissimo Omario, I have been kind of quite lately but I have seen all of your videos and your improvements and you are always in my daily thoughts! About my anger...well, I hurt so much when I see people suffer and I simply can't understand how someone that is meant to help you can stand in front of you and doesn't do it! They are simply cold hearted! You are a great friend, caro Omario and I am happy that you made it! I hope you are feeling like a new man! Tanti baci, Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@danbergam Dear Daniele, you are right: we can still trust human kind! I count so much on the encouraging words of others to go on because I consider words to be very important...If the negative ones have power, so do the positive ones and they really help me! So thank you for coming here and for writing to me! It's not easy to go on for any of us but, together, we will make it through... I will pass the positivity to Christian :) Thank you! hugs Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@zedsys95 I completely understand what you are saying. My cranial therapist says the same to me all the time...I have to stop being so "intense"...and let go a little more...it is just so hard because I really care a lot about everyone! I will promise to listen to you and to my "natural" doctor! Thanks so much! hugs, Angela

@christinedavi 14 лет назад

we are here to listen Angela. I hate the jumping thru hoops for doctors but they wont listen, Hey I talked to a lady who was going to The Pink Door for a fund raiser yesterday. She said some people from the Buffalo study were going to be there.

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@rickileeway Dear Rick, I am so sorry I didn't get to answer you before! I just noticed that I was missing someone and it was you! I have been so busy with CCSVI and all there is to do to help get this discovery known to MS patients all over the world and I forget to do other important things like answering to wonderful messages! Your comment is so sweet and so encouraging! Thank you so very much for writing me these kind words and for being so caring! I truly appreciate it! :) Take care!

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@zioband Grazie! :) Buona giornata! saluti, Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@joevenditti Oh thank you, Joe! You are absolutely right and you said it so well once again! I am not sure if you watched the Italian video or the ones that I made in the beginning of my MS journey...I have been calling all the changes and the paths that I have been taking in these past 3 years a way for me to "reinvent myself". I may be be using a "poetic" way to describe this...but I know what you mean. We have to get right back up after a fall and I will be happy now! Thank you so much! :)

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@qualisarx Dear Daniel, it's so good to hear from you!!! How are you doing? I think I haven't seen your videos in three months or so...am I right? I missed seeing your updates and I am glad that you wrote because now I know that you are ok :) I will keep doing videos reguardless...you are right. I have to remember this and I have to continue doing what I believe in! Thanks so much, Daniel! I look forward to seeing you soon! take care Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@danbergam Grazie! Sei davvero un tesoro! :)

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@notapplicable66 Dear Gladiator, it's so nice to find you here! I used to keep a diary that I used to write by hand and I did find it very relaxing and helpful. Then my life got too busy (are you ever relaxed in this part of the world???) and I didn't have time for my diary any more and then MS came and it was it. I keep an MS diary now but it's not the same... I believe in what you are saying and I agree with you. I love reading your songs and I love the fact that you sing them! :) Ciao!

@danbergamondo 14 лет назад

@angelusa73 Thanks to you, dear Angela, for concretely showing us what courage, will and strength are! Hugs in return Daniele

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@sandyCanada56 Dear Sandy, unfortunately, the negativity got to me too lately...I am hurting because others are and I can't do anything to help and I don't know what to say any more to all the patients (Italian and from other parts of the world) that write to me and ask for suggestions and information. It's hard to say that they have to wait and it's hard to see how fast our MS progresses... We need to keep going and I am very grateful to have you in my MS family, lots of hugs Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@laurenvparrott Thank you, Lauren. We have to catch up and write to each other again as soon as I get back to the States. Maybe, my life will go back to normal after my trip back to my country. I need to relax a bit and I hope to bring my lifestyle back here so I can feel better :) Thank you for showing me that you remember the Italian words that I used to write to you! You are doing very well e sei brava! :) Un abbraccio, Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@joevenditti Dear Joel, you did say it the way it is!!!! I should learn to accept this but it's hard for me because I can't accept the selfishness of people! I do have to learn to deal with this better though...I agree with you!! Do you know that your last name is the same as one of a very famous Italian singer? His name is Antonello Venditti! Grazie del "forza bella"! I promise I am going to try my very best! Have a nice day and thanks for the comment, Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@aga919507 Thank you, Aga. I loved your last video. You spoke to me at the right time: I really needed to read those words! :) Thanks again, hugs Angela

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@missalgernon Dear Amanda, what a nice message you wrote me! You made me smile and your encouraging words gave me what I needed to feel better! You had too many MRIs too? I think it's funny that you find them relaxing! but I know what you mean because we are so used to them now that it's not a big deal for us any more. It's like a second home away from home! :) I meditate in the MRI machine and I dream that a butterfly comes and takes my lesions away! Thank you so much for the kind comment!

@zedsys95 14 лет назад

Hi, Angela. I just wanted to say that it is shocking to me, too. Doctors who will not help patients, money is more important than a human life. It is world in which we live now, but it will not be for a long time. Allready this system is falling apart and it will change into samething positive very soon. It is hard to me to see you hurt like this, so please, slow down, you will only hurt yourself more. And doctors will still not care. I am not saying to stop fighting but to go easier.

@danbergamondo 14 лет назад

@angelusa73 Tu di più! :-D

@angelusa73 14 лет назад

@irishbear76 Dear Mark, I wish I could create a new group of words that I could use to tell you how much I appreciate what you wrote to me! I don't think that a simple thank you will be enough this time because you really touched me! You did many times in the past but this one really hit a spot that I didn't know I had! :) This is wrong, dear Mark. I can suffer and I can deal with my pain but seeing that so many others are hurting while doctors are standing still, is really WRONG! Grazie!

@joevenditti 14 лет назад

stuff is going to happen. reality is setting in. your going to have to face the realm of it all. your going to have to learn to seperate it from your world or illusion. there is a whole capitalistic real world out there going on. its full of money & more money and lobbyists out there in gouverment that will make sure it continues. its called an economy of things at hand. its what makes the world go around and around. learn to seperate yourself from it and get things done on your own. forza bella