Celibacy: Burden... Or Gift? 

Steven Patrick. I am a 71 yr old member of Casey's order. My life has been filled with happiness and has been a blessing. Even on the most difficult days I never felt my life to be wasted.

I am not even catholic, but this guy is amazing! Thanks for your service!

Marriage is almost forced in some cultures to the point where people freak out at the mention of celibacy. I’m not religious but I can definitely see how celibacy is appealing just as much as marriage is to some people. Not everyone is meant to find meaning in life the exact same way.

I'm not catholic, but as a protestant, this is the best video on celibacy I've seen.

I agree with everything you say. I'm single and for the last year, celibate. My life has never been better. So many friends and family push me to have a relationship. The problem is I get it. They don't. If I end up in a relationship one day it will be because it's meant to be not because I'm out looking for it because that's what society dictates. This is the reason for high divorce rates.

As a recently baptised catholic, I really enjoyed this video and subscribed! There should be more young catholic people like you present in the new media :)

Father Casey, I am a lay celibate as I have autism and am still waiting for Providence to give me the appropriate young woman. Some days are lonely and I also observe 'homemade' or self imposed vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Pray for me please. God bless.

This is without a doubt the best explanation of celibacy I have ever heard! Thank you Br Casey, thank you!

Six months later I read what I wrote here and It makes me very sad. I hope everyone forgives me for having acted like I have answers when I don't. It's true no one can know if God exists , but no one can know if He doesn't exist either. I think we have to look at life , the traditions handed down to us, our own experiences, the experiences of others, and at some point bring it all together to make a picture. Does that picture include God? At one time I was sure it didn't, now I'm very close to sure that it does. Why am I happier now than I was before. Why does it feel better to believe than not believe? Why are bad things so much less bad with God in the picture? Why does everything, and I mean EVERYTHING make so much more sense with God than without God? I have stories of people in my life who have died and have given me clear signs they haven't died at all. I wear the Cross of Jesus and I feel at peace, but when I put it away in a drawer for months I felt torn apart, unhealthy, and desperate . All this HAS to have meaning. I can't pretend something exists when it doesn't, yet what I've been feeling is that what I'm really pretending is that all the evidence that tells me God does exist has to be erased in the name of a reality science wants to exclusively hold. I probably make very little sense here, but I think I make a lot more sense now than I did 6 months ago when I made my original comments. Pray for me and I will pray for you too !

Thank you, Brother Casey, for clearing up a lot of the misunderstanding about celibacy and chastity.

Beautiful video! It's refreshing to hear a young priest talking this way with such enthusiasm about celibacy. God bless you.

Thank you for your input on these tough subjects. God bless you and all our priests. Without you men stepping up to be priests we would be like sheep without a shepherd. Pray for all of you daily.

We need more Caseys in this world to help to built the Reing of God. The real life is praise to God every moment of the day. Serve to the poor and the church never is wasted the life.

I think that celibacy is really a gift and that priests being celibate is for want of a better word is really SELFLESS . I have great admiration for this aspect of the Catholic Clergy

One positive I see about celibacy as a male, is not having to deal with performance anxiety. I don't just mean the possible physical side affect of that, but the mental stress that some of us carry even if we can physically perform.

Many thanks for giving us Rev. McPartlen's insight on this. As a married Presbyterian, I greatly appreciate it.

Very good teaching 👍 We pray for all the priests to be faithful to the promises made at the time of their ordination. Chastity is a very beautiful gift. Married life seems to look good, but it's not that easy.

This is so freeing. In a world where there is a lot of spoken and unspoken pressure to conform to "house holding" and where it's hard to put a spiritual path above fitting in, this insight is super compelling. Thank you!

Your videos should be required in catechism. They are so good!

You are serving the Lord with great devotions nd honestly. You are blessed always.God bless you dear.

Thank you for being so thorough in your answers to questions re: celibacy. There is such a centeredness and calm in your responses to people who are upset. This is a great skill and grace to have when working with people...have a blessed day!

GREAT! Thank so much brother

I'm agnostic my self but I like how he explains Christian doctrine

Thanks for the informative and approachable video on such an important sphere of life (that is so rarely talked about). The most difficult aspect of celibacy is in meeting some of those essential intimacy needs. Net necessarily sexual -we survived for the first part of our lives repudiated that - but physical affection and deep emotional connection, which are almost completely unavailable, at least in contemporary culture and [protestant] church. If these aspects of essential paths to experiencing the love of God are more readily given, then being celibate would probably be more widely practiced

I look toward to watching your videos every time you make one! Thank you for all you do!!

The problem is that, at least in my country, most men choose priesthood (thus permanent celibacy) when they are about 19. Even when they graduate from a seminary and take their vows at the age of 25 or 26, they are - in my opinion - still too young to understand how heavy the burden of celibacy might become in the future. As a result, it is common knowledge here that many of them live a lie, have sexual partners or "wives". I remember two priests in my parish who "had a woman" and a child; when it became too obvious (there was no excessive secrecy about it ;-)), the priests were relocated to another city, as it is customary here. I also remember a priest in his 30s who was obsessed with sex and, during our RE classes, he made us talk a lot about it. I felt very uneasy in class because of that, I was only in my early teens then but found his interests rather strange and unhealthy.

I think you forgot one more reason which is very important, in my opinion as a catholic, and that is confession. In marriage you are supposed to tell your spouse everything and not keep secrets hence it's logical for a priest or any other member of the church carrying out confessions to not marry in order to keep the people's sins between themselves, God and the priest. If priest were married I personally wouldn't trust getting a confession myself.

There's something particularly comforting about a young really smart person being such a great teacher. Makes me feel like the future is going to be ok.

people arguing that it isnt biblical just dont want to look at the fact that we are all to emulate Christ within us. And for some Christ has given them that wondefyl grace to emulate him in auch a way of celebacy. and besides the beauty of the theology behind celebacy far outshines any reasoning to why ones shouldnt. A preist wedding his church as Christ loved and wedded his church.

Considering I was once married and I then chose celibate life later, then was given an opportunity for marriage again, the Church gives us the GIFT of celibacy. One can't turn backwards once going forward. It's nice to know that as a religious person in the Catholic Church, I as a woman and you as men, have options to be holy people -- and still serve the Lord. Loneliness is getting very difficult, for me, though, in order to move forward with my work and school and I would not want to contaminate my partner who I dearly love, so he entered the military. And he doesn't want to contaminate me, so there we have it: back to the pains of suffering for my spouse. Literally at this point. My spouse AND the church. Which is good, because I have three grown children and three grandchildren. I am enduring. It's simply the absence of the Love of marriage right now, for sure for me and I know that it is for the love of my life, Cesar Augusto David Escobar Calderone....

So sad that you allowed yourself to be overtaken by such nonsense. Heartbreaking when I see someone as young as you are, as young as I am, just wasting your life with a religious cult. Man see how you can come back to a real life before you find yourself at 50 regretting what you've done to yourself *UPDATE : April 2017. I now regret writing the above comment. I could have deleted the comment and saved myself, but I decided to leave it here so I can hang my head in shame and ask for forgiveness. I was going through a very bad time last September when I wrote it and lost my faith in God and the Church. I still haven't recovered it fully but I believe I'm on the path to getting there. Br Casey and to all Catholics, please forgive me for saying something so wrong*.

As a long, long-lapsed Catholic, I always thought the difference between celibacy and chastity was important but it wasn't mentioned. I still loved the video.

Giving you credit fr. I can’t do what you do but thank you for putting this stuff out there.

Celibacy... Gift... it's a Gift of Purity.

Thanks Brother! Helps with my discernment.

The council in Carthage was over ruled by the 2nd echumentical Council where it stated “to require this is setting forth a criteria of holiness greater than the apostles. We as the Church acknowledge that the lawful marriage ties become STRONGER after ordination. If any man seen worth to be ordained a Subdeacon, Deacon, or Priest dismisses his wife let him be Deposed. Else we would be down right scornful of marriage, an institution blessed by our Lord himself by this presence and words.”

Just because Mount Everest is the highest peak on Earth doesn't mean we should all live there.. yes the highest ideal is being celibate like Jesus but it is not healthy or realistic to preclude all priests from Marriage when God allowed marriage and the Catholic church until the 11th century allowed marriage! St Peter was married remember? The church should make it an option. The Orthodox Church requires priests to be married but the Bishops and obviously the monks are not married. This is a much more balanced wiser approach

I’m not religious by any means but I practice celibacy so I can relate

Is it true that married men can serve the church by being deacons (with the spouse's permission)?

Both. Gift AND burden. Everything in life, it seems, has a double edge.

Thankyou for that...So important to have Holy Priests. Not sure who it was who said that a priest is more important than an Angel. The Miracle at every Mass is amazing. To receive Jesus in the EUCHARIST is like food for the soul if we are in the state of Grace

While I fully understand the spiritual depth and religious availability of a celibate priest, I cannot help thinking the church would gain by initiating a two tier priesthood some similar to our eastern and oriental orthodox brothers. The Vatican should order a three year study of married priests in both orthodox and Lutheran and Anglican parishes. The church should allow married couples who have shown outstanding holiness and service to be ordained. Their sacramental authority would be limited to the mass, baptism, marriage, anointing of the sick. I can just imagine Catholics returning to the faith by the millions as well as thousands of men asking to service. This of course is not a new idea.

A person once said, letting priest marry is like a ticking time bomb. Possible broken family and orphan children... and divorce is very real among married pastors you know.

Celibacy is a gift of the Holy Spirit, no different from healing, tongues, or giving. God gives different gifts to different people. No one should be inherently expected to be celibate, just like no one is expected to speak in tongues. If God wills it, it is a beautiful gift. If He doesn’t, that’s fine too-He will give other, equally important gifts. It’s important not to elevate one spiritual gift over others, as they all are given and taken away by the same God.

I think it can be good. I am a divorced catholic, so not by choice.. The 1600s were marked by many extremes: 1 Protestantism due to printing press. 2. Celibate priests. 3. Other historical things we'll skip here. I think the diocesans should have the choice to marry and those that live in religious communities should take the vow. Again it is optional. The problem.lies in finances for the family. The church's members probably don't want to support the whole family. The man would need to get a job. Also, time commitments.

Celibacy: Love yourself and faith before you love anyone else.

Can you please create a how to celibacy video for divorced catholics, and those who could never get married: So celibacy not so much as by choice, but because of other reasons, like faith or bad luck. TY. Is masturbation allowed?

It does take a lot of worldly pressure off a person having a vocation that encourages celibacy. No one questioning why you have not married yet, no pressure in dating, etc... Sounds rather nice actually.

I love this channel. Br. Casey you’re awesome. Great videos :)

You are a man of faith father. Nobody is a saint before he dies but... I think you will be. Keep going thru that path. God bless you a be saint.

Saying that because Christ was celibate priests should be celibate strikes me particularly as fallacious logic and indeed rather arrogant. Indeed Christ's celibacy is assumed. The Catholic Church has come up with lots of specious arguments for celibacy rather than simply admitting that it was a prurient choice based on decisions of early Church leaders and thinkers. I do not say that I oppose it, but rather that I think the Church should stop making it seem that there was some holy reason for it.

If celibacy was a gift, and not a burden, then we would not have a priest shortage. Even worse, the church was naïve enough to think the answer to homosexuality was to make gay men into priests, and give them "the gift" of celibacy. Surprise! It did not work. Instead our young boys were abused. Some seminaries literally turned in gay orgies. THAT HAPPENED! Our church then completely mismanaged all of it. Why? Because they created the problem in the first place. I have to disagree with the church on this tradition wholeheartedly. I know many married men who would make excellent priests. And as you have pointed out in other videos, there are almost 200 Catholic priests who converted from other denominations and are still married. That has not been an issue at all. So why not for all then? Just about every married deacon I know would make an excellent priest. Frankly, because they are married, I see deacons participating in "off the church block" ministries and fellowship MUCH MORE than priests. My father told me that I would have NO IDEA what it meant to have a family until I had my own. He was 100% right. So people who preach about the family, should actually know about it. Until you have your own kids, you will not know. You cannot know.

I think in a religious order it would be difficult to be married, as living is communal. I wonder if married men could serve as diocesan priests in some format. I know of men who left the priesthood to marry. They agonized over leaving. I wonder if there could be a place for them, especially with the priest shortage.

As you rightly point out Brother Casey , celibacy is a discipline and one that is a basic part of my life .

The Church still teaches that celibacy for the sake of the kingdom is still a higher calling than marriage. It’s in the Catechism. Even though, marriage is a sacrament, celibacy’s end is still a higher calling than marriage.

I'm not looking towards being a priest but I am going to stay celibate

The celibacy requirement for Catholic priests was instituted by the Church for one primary reason: to protect the Church's property from being disbursed in private estates. And how does one justify celibacy when most psychiatric authorities blame imposed celibacy for the rampant sexual abuse of minors at the hands of these so called celibate priests? This doesn't even consider the probability that masturbation is practiced as a way to quell sexual desire. Celibacy is product of an awareness of the spirit within that transforms sexuality into a practice that is no longer needed or wanted. And how few of the clergy today have that awareness?

I used to know a Lithuanian priest who was ,"Married", with 3 children ! I am married , but both my wife and I live lives of Prayer & Celibacy !

As the son of an orthodox priest I think celibacy shouldn't be something required for becoming a priest. Jesus wasn't married for obvious reasons and he didn't say priests shouldn't be allowed to marry. To me this seems to be the Church's fault . Rules created by men who saw sex as impure and family as a distraction from following God. Raising a family is a challenge and as men of God we shouldn't ran away from challenges. Is an unmarried priest somewhat better or more holly than a married priest with a family? I don't think celibacy itself is bad . I think it is wrong that it's imposed by the church in order to become a catholic priest . Celibacy should be optional. It is also sad that good men don't get to pass on their genes because of this unnecessary practice.

I knew three different friends in my lifetime that has fathers who are protestant ministers and all of them and their siblings and even one of their mother was screwed up by their fathers attending more time to their congregation than to their families. The mother ended up having an affair with someone from their church and my friends wife even became involved in witchcraft. After those examples I became convinced at an early age that it was a good idea that priests shouldn't get married. Other examples are that two of the children of these ministers ended in jail for various reasons.

good video Brother Casey, as always! We pray for you even here in Italy. Go on!!

Thier is no scriptural suport for this doctrine. Paul and Jesus were celebate but Peter (the first pope) was not. Also while Paul does say in his opinion it is better to be unmarried he dose not command this for leaders in the church. In 1 Timothy 3:2 he says leaders in the should be men with one wife who have a family and in 1 Corinthians 7:5 paul afirms that married people should not deny eachother (this goes against the idea of married people being continent). The Bible teaches that celibacy is a calling given to some but not all and just because a person dose not have this gift dose not disqulify them from any role in the church. Admittedly most protestants do not think of celebacy as a gift however their are some protastant ministers who are celebate but do not command other ministers to do the same simply because of thier role in the church. As a bonus fact the preists in the Old Testement were married.

I saw an online headline that stated "Celibacy is a gift, not a mandate". I thought to myself "If I had a man to date I wouldn't be celibate." Alas, I don't and I am.

Brother Casey, I'm slightly disappointed that you didn't mention the point of view from some of the eastern rites. A friend of mine is considering a vocation to the priesthood as a married byzantine priest. In the Ruthenian (Byzantine) rite, the discipline is that only celibates can be considered when it comes to picking the next bishop, but married men can serve as parochial priests and missionaries.

Hello Father. So I am a new seminarian and somehow was looking for inspiration and landed on your channel. Best decision ever. For someone who graduated with Film, I started to question. However, watching your videos has given me hope. Quick question, was the green screen deliberate not to be keyed or what? Thank you for your inspiring vids

It takes 6 year to become a Priest so its plenty of time to discern your call if you are mature enough , I do think that candidates to the priesthood are more worldly now than before and there is more care taken on weeding out those who are not suitable ..

Father,I PAINFULLY understand that when I pass away, and by GOD'S MERCY if and when I get HEAVEN..All of those HUMANS I Loved so dearly, My Wife and Children will all be TOGETHER..GLORIFYING CHRIST, HOLY IMMACULATE MARY,and GOD HIMSELF.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us ! 👍🏻🙏🏻❤️

I think celibacy is a gift...to some and a burden to others. Scripture talks about the gift of singleness. I have often said I have a double dose of the gift of singleness. I understand why people desire marriage and find some of those things attractive myself, but I find great peace and contentment in my singleness. For someone who does not have the gift of singleness, I imagine a life of celibacy would be terribly difficult. I think it would be a major mistake for someone to take on a life of celibacy if that was not their gift.

Celibacy is a choice and gift as well. I asked a monk once if he has no sexual urges at all. He said he has that explains everything.

my whole family is Catholic but I'm Christian 🤣 always the one to be different lol but being celibate is wonderful I have noticed the urge comes because of the perception of loneliness because from babies we are given the feeling of touch, which is what we associate with love, so when we don't get the feeling of touch from another person we convince ourselves we are either lonely or not loved but we are capable of loving ourselves because God loves us. I don't think being celibate all of one's life is a good idea but I definitely am until I find someone. I don't or never have understood dating. Your basically giving your body to someone without a commitment or love just mere desire and diseases have to be taken into account lol I'm definitely staying celibate

I’m a bit confused...the part about celibacy being greater than marriage...doesn’t god need people to marry in order to continue existing? How does the catholic religion continue if everyone remains celibate and there is no one left to preach to? I wasn’t brought up religious I’m just starting to learn so bare with me...if god relies on people marrying should he hold celibacy in a higher regard? 🤷‍♀️

Thats why the catholic church ( christ church) is so respectful cuz we follow rules, disciplines . Not as protestant churches they wake up on morning and say im a pastor or im a bishop ( not serious)

A protestant once said that celibacy is immoral. When I gave him verses where Jesus said about celibacy, he was silent and left the discussion. New at least he realized

Indeed it is a rich tradition, but it ignores that the institution of the marriage is older and more affluent in content than the institution of the church so much that, as you pointed out, the relation of the ordained to the church is as if they were wedded to it. In some of the Abrahamic literature, marriage is regarded as an essential and holy bond before god. I'm not sure about Catholisim, but in many traditions, literature is superior to precedent.

I was raised Protestant but I enjoy your videos!

Another major issue with priest marriage is the right of inheritance. Priest prior to the middle ages were bequeathing their churches to their children and thus side stepping apostolic orders. This led to corruption and people becoming priests who should not have been priests. For example Billy Graham was a great man but I'm not too sure about his son. Likewise with Jerry Falwell. In these cases the church has become the property of a family rather than the body of Christ.

I can see your point about Celibacy but I disagree vehemently with the idea that consonants was a call for the married priesthood to be celibate after ordination. I'm not kidding myself that you can read all of these posts. I will say that you made an excellent point on celibacy celebrated within the Christian faith no one does it better than the Catholic Church.

Celibacy is definitely not easy, but then, neither is marriage. Both require a daily renewal of vows lived imperfectly perhaps, but kept in the heart.

Thankyou dear bro.clearing so many question in my mind..God bless you dear.

Superbly well explained and a very contemporary subject

I don’t think Celibacy should be a requirement but a choice like some lay people don’t get married.

Question: if God commanded humanity to be fruitful and multiply, then by choosing to be celibate aren't priests violating God's command and committing a sin?

Being a Catholic priest is not just like drinking pop, that when you don't like the taste, you'll spit it out. Many men are called to priesthood, but few are chosen. What does it mean? It means one is ready to deny himself of worldly pleasures if his calling is to become a priest, especially in catholic faith.

So, how do you deal with the biological aspect of intense desire, especially as a young man still full of hormones and reproductive urges? Is masturbation allowed, and how does that fit into the practice of being celibate?

Actually in my opinion it is the vow of poverty that is the most difficult to follow. To put it more precise, this is how i see it: 1.poverty 2. obedience 3. celibacy. For me celibacy or in yourcase chastity isnt that difficult to follow. Living without a female companion-wife is less dificult than not to own anything.

I’ll never understand this , but it is very much admired.

I think relationships take commitment, sacrifice and a lot of hard work. I'm sure you as a friar and with the work you do, feel although it's your calling you need to fully commit to it to nurture your calling. I get it. If you chose to marry you would need to put all that sacrifice into the relationship and home, many do that and it's what should happen in a healthy marriage. For you you feel within you a vocation that for you is stronger than marriage and that spreading and working God's word is what you need to nurture for yourself. BTW I'm actually an atheist lol but I'm very open and interested in others ways of life and I found your channel and I think you are pretty cool. I admire you for being you in this day and age and following your heart. I'm actually learning a lot from you and your thinking on life even though I don't plan on converting I respect you. Good job:)

1 Corinthians 7:32 He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. And yes Many Protestant Ministers do Marry but its also a fact many also get divorced because their Spouse no Longer wants support them in ministry. I know many of them.

I made Vows. Celibacy was chosen. I choose it over and over again, for the sake of discipline to my studies in school.

One thing I would change about nuns and priests is to have a daily agreement with God not to marry, rather than a once for all vow.(I feel vows are a bad idea anyway, Jesus said let your yes be yes and no be no.)Every day say or signify to the Lord, I will not marry today! I would alter the wedding agreement too, the couple would describe what kind of other half, they would wish to be. Loving your wife as Christ loves the church (God help me!),Loving your husband as if it were Jesus (God help her!) Priests and nuns may meet a partner one day and should be free to marry and serve as a blessed couple. That would be my idea if I could be Pope for 5 minutes! However, let our blessed Lord Jesus sort it His most loving way!

I never really understood this. It seems like the argument is that married people are distracted by their spouses and cannot give themselves fully to God, which doesn't sound right to me

As a protestant i don’t think that priest should be “forced” (for lack of a better word) to be celibate, since paul said in 1 corinthians 7:8 “I’m telling those who are single and widows that it’s good for them to stay single like me. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should get married, because it’s better to marry than to burn with passion.“ as paul says, it would be obviously good to be celibate, but it shouldn’t be required of priests. It should be their choices.

Thank you so much fr bright explanation on celibate life for priests and what would you say about the religious women.

I remember talking with a priest who jokingly said he’s not sure that married clergy will ever be allowed, but if it was it he was sure it wouldn’t be until he was too old to take advantage of it.

Br. Casey and the priest named some excellent reasons for transitional deacons, priests, and religious to be celebate. I think celibacy is a gift, both for the individual making the promise of celibacy or the religious taking the vow of chasitity. Celibacy or chastitity are gifts from God to the clergyman or religious and they are gifts from the recipient to the Mystical Body of Christ There are some practical advantages as well. I discovered that while I was a seminarian in my first parish, there are a lot of needy people out there and the only place they can go to get consolation, spititual direction, a friendly ear, something to eat, or gas money even at 2:30 AM is a Catholic Church, even if they are not Catholic. No wife would would stand for the time a priest is away from the family to take care of some ministerial need. This may be a bit old fashioned these days but since prayer is essential and community is is important and helpful celibacy is necessary. One other thing, matrimony and holy orders are sacraments of vocation, different vocations requiring 100% commitment. I don't think most people can adequately do both. I have noticed that recently diocesan priests have more and more left rectories to live in apartments or somewhere else that isn't a rectory. Were I a diocesan bishop I would consider requiring clergy to live a communal life together in rectories. By communal life I mean celebrating Mass together, praying the Liturgy of the Hours together, dining together, and recreating together. I would also consider them to be in the same Jesu Caritas group. If parishes are rural and have only one priest. I would ask all of the priests in a particular area to live together in one house. They can still make themselves available to parishioners by phone. I do know something about diocesean life as I compleated seminary at a Benedictine monastery and spent a year in a large rectory. I also spent a couple of years as a missionary on Guam as a Capuchin.

I always was taught that "celibacy is better" and that this teaching is "dogmatic". Could you please explain why not appears be ?

Many years a go, Priests were married. Often times, their heirs inherited church property and the church put an end to that in The Second Lateran Council (1139) made the promise to remain celibate a prerequisite to ordination, abolishing the married priesthood. Exact.y, married clergy have been doing things easily being married for how long now?

It’s pretty.. limited to quote a council that supports universal continence, and not quote the numerous councils that ruled against it. Universal continence is a very western thing historically, from the Council of Elvira forward, and it’s just as much of a discipline (and not a doctrine) as universal celibacy. Continence and celibacy for Christ’s sake is a beautiful thing because it is for Christ, and I have great love for it, but it’s not necessarily true that continence is the only alternative to celibacy.

Thank you Father Casey