Just an update about my RU-vid channel as I do a circular around War Law from Ladycross, Northumberland. If you would like to support me, I am raising money for surgery in Spain: gofund.me/045d...
I wished I could get out more... but really busy with work. I keep saying I need a better work/life balance but then end up volunteering for everything because I am bored 😅
Well hello again Alice, great to see you out again yu can really tell how much you've missed it, Cheshire Cat grin almost all the way you had! Really sorry to hear of your experience but pleased you could share it with us. Maybe see you out in the wilds soon Take care and good to see you. 👍
Thank you. It is fantastic on the moors. I really love the wide-open spaces. I still need to edit last year's videos though. It will be like a trip back in time for me, life keeps changing so fast these days. I am going to keep local for now until I've got enough strength, time and money to tackle the Grand Tour again and the Lakeland fells. I've not given up on them yet. I was in the Lakes recently, me and my daughter went crystal hunting in a geological hotspot, you're not allowed to take anything with you without a permit and they're pretty strict with large fines, but we took a lot of good photos of our finds and left them there for other people to try and find.
As long as your trying thought you had gave up. I understand you’ve been through a lot but never give up what you enjoy it’s the only thing free in life like breathing air. 😀👍
Finally your out and about Alice. Great to have the wind in your hair and the heather by your side. I bet HRT was hard work. Good going. Well, here's to more trails. Mark
Thank you Mark. It is fantastic to be out in the heather, I've missed it, I will do a few more hikes around the Ladycross area, check out that forest trail I was told about, perhaps look to walk to Allendale and back from Whitley Chapel, then look to head back into the hills properly again once I've got a bit of fitness back, I doubt I will ever be able to do the big 20+ mile walks I have done in the past again. I could write an essay or make a whole video about HRT. I've lost a lot of strength, my daughter can genuinely beat me in an arm wrestle, and I have to choose between a 4ltr carton of milk or a 4 pack of tin tomatoes because I can't physically carry them both home without the car. But at the same time it has been amazing for my mental health. Before I felt like I was dead inside and now I feel so alive; it's like watching a black and white TV that is out of focus and picking up a lot of static, and then being given a 4k top of the range colour TV that is properly tuned in with an amazing picture quality. Not having that constant static in my mind and having a clear picture for the first time in my life, it is such a relief. I no longer want to kill myself constantly to make it all stop, and now I really want to live life. My happiness comes with a massive price, I get a lot of abuse, name calling, spitting, people throwing things at me, being sexually assault, family not accepting me for who I am (that's been the hardest thing). But I would never go back again, I love HRT; I really cannot describe it to you Mark, the difference... It was like waking up and really seeing the world for the first time how everyone else sees it. Before I had to consciously make an effort in everything that I did to hide myself, and now I am just me. There's no effort in it at all, I just be myself and the weight off my shoulders has left me feeling like I am flying. I will just walk along the street and realise that I am just walking naturally without any thought, while before I had to constantly becareful how I walked to not look overly feminine, and that realisation that I don't need to think about every single little detail but can just be naturally who I am, oh, the freedom that brings is such a joy. Let people stare, let them make fun of me, but my mind is free and they're still caged in their confined worlds of hate.
@@NorthernWayfarer-Alice I totally get it Alice. I feel for your journey. There are many parallels in my own. That's possibly why I resonate. I've nearly finished my book about Paul and myself. It's called the 'Sight of Two,' and is about identical twins in small town England. We were seen as trophies by the tough guys, experienced xenophobia, discrimination, name calling and separation - we were twins living together into our mid life. We suffered bad depression and couldn't walk straight much like you. So, I get it. All the best to you and know that some of us are out there.
You mentioned some intimate and painful things. Thanks. We're here to listen. Why not do a short unedited walk and talk video near home whenever you get the chance, especially for exercise? I look forward to your insightful and educational dialogue. (I'm an American whose father was born in Stocksfield.)
