I've been living in Paris for twenty years. Been feeling vaguely nostalgic for Blighty of late. Then I saw these clips from Britannia High. And I'm never never coming home again.
You know some people have iconic albums in their youth. Mine was A Different Class by PULP , there's a song called "I Spy" that had this epic grade suspense huh? That was thrilling *and* chilling theatrically . So that's what i did. I remember snooping over Syria after the 'earthquake' and seeing loads of orange groves and full on Homered like "mmm, oranges: Syriaously." *shaking my head* i think i was possessed, but i haven't given up the oranges
The girls at the local high school are still wearing mini skirts like creepy Silent Hill oompah loompas Charlie. It gives me the serious creeps. You know when my mom was ill my dad kidnapped me out of that school huh? He said it had a terrible reputation. I did quite well comprehensive school in Warwickshire, but I guess I had this progressive teaching system and I didn't have to wear a skirt to school. I saw some of the women in the army in the Eastern Bloc wearing miniskirts out on parade . I was like "If I had to wear a miniskirt in the army I'd probably mutiny on principle. Pantsiple.
I really couldn't think less of the Conservative voters of Kidderminster. You know? It makes Russel Brand look less creepy you know? People think that sexual promiscuity is a common class problem, but it takes a type of ego to plan paedophilia all the way through high school: what if someone notices the girls are all underdressed to school? What if they catch a horrible flu and so do their underage babies? What if they're a bloc bunch of IVF clones who never should have been born in the first place? Well, the common can't really afford to complain , so who's to stop them? I'm telling you they're like resident evil Like paté canapés in a buffet, it's some awful plan.
Before you think about how much better everything was in yesterday land that only exists in your head please may I suggest the following that are neither PC or pandering from the last few years- + I think you should leave with Tim Robinson + don't hug me I'm scared + This country + This time with Alan partridge + Nathan for you + Rick and Morty + Fargo + Fleabag + the boys. Good stuff is always around you just have to look for it.
