Chef Skyrim 

Damn. I hate it when I accidentally eat 6 cabbages in front of my archery instructor. It's so embarrassing.

"I wish i had faendal here to keep me warm." Awe. "Hes not using his skin for anything." Oh.

Your commitment to that accent should get you some kind of award

“I wish Faendal was here to keep me warm. He’s not using his SKIN FOR ANYTHING. You don’t need skin to teach archery.” -The Chef 2019

i love the kickball sound effects whenever the cabbages hit anything

so in middle school I found out one of my teachers was also an archery instructor, "teach me archery" was about the only thing I ever said to the man until he relented and taught me archery

In one of my old Skyrim playthroughs Faendal went crazy in Labyrinthion and refused to leave insisting he was home in Riverwood. I brought him food and drinks but one day I became a vampire and was driven out of society on my wedding day (The first time I had ever become a vampire and didn't feed for four days). Eventually I joined the Dark Brotherhood to get my revenge on society (Another story entirely). At some point I ended up in the Solitude catacombs doing the Wolf Queen questline. I became permanently stuck in a rotating door puzzle. No one else knew about Faendal's location or madness. No one would ever come to feed him again. Whenever my immortal argonian pillarman is released Faendal will be a mummified corpse in a long buried ruin. It's truly amazing what interesting stuff you'll make up just to find a lorefriendly reason for a pathing bug.

Jello: literally just trains his archery skill over and over until it's level 50 Also jello: uses warhammers for the entire video and wonders why he's having trouble with fights

fun facts about the chef: -he ate your dog -he hates his best friend pationatly -he is the world best archer, and has never used a bow and arrow, and never will -possibly supernatural origins -draws power from cabbages -in emergensies, he can eat several bags of flour -he is a passable assassin -he has seen holes in the world he calls home, physics beeing ignored, people getting lost, he loves skyrim -he enjoys long walks on the beach

Ah, my favorite Epihet Erased character: Murderous Soup Man

"Hey, can you train me to be better at archery?" >can't even use bows

“He ate three bags of flour, that’s the least of his worries” I cried oh my god 😂

Jello: *Bleeding from seventy cuts on his body and dying on the floor* Bandit:"I've finally got him!!" Jello:"Wait!" Bandit: *Pauses* Jello: *Pulls out three bags of flour, slowly opens while making direct eye contact with the bandit and shoves fistfuls of flour into his face* Bandit:"...."

The cabbage sacrament: "Sweet Father, Sweet Father, Send your Cabbage unto me For the foods of the un-gourmet Must be baptized in Nickelodeon Gak"

I appreciate the use of "Ave Maria" while carefully placing the vegetables around the emperor.

Faendal is like Perry the Platypus. "Hey, where's Faendal?" *hours later* "Oh, there you are, Faendal!"

I’ve never laughed so consistently on a 20 minute video

*you don’t need skin to teach archery*

Im amazed at how broken your Skyrim is. I literally have never seen anything so broken without mods

The fact that he changed from Jello’s normal voice to chef voice has convinced me this is the future where Jello goes mad and become homicidal chef

The chef sounds like a weird version of Dr Doofenshmirtz

"I was trying to look unassuming but I absolutely look like I ate your dog" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

>no bows >taught archery Perfect

Imagine that you are one of the emperors bodyguards and you decide to check up on him. Now imagine walking in to the room to find a guy dressed as a chef singing Ave Maria and arranging cabbages around the emperors corpse.

Are you still sane after being in character for five hours?

This actually sounds like an insane murderous chef with a voice in his head

The Chef made me the richest Archery tutor of all time.. I think I'll use all of that money I made to open up an archery school in his honour... *reaches in pocket* OH NO! I'VE BEEN ROBBED! .. and my hand is covered on gak.

Something about the way you say “It’s Udefrykte!” makes me laugh every time I rewatch this.

"I have no mods installed or anything. The game is just like that." This is a Bethesda game, you don't need to prove anything. We know... We know...

Faendal is probably the most popular character in Skyrim. ...just because of that one exploit.

The funniest Skyrim playthrough I’ve seen ever without any mods... now that’s a good video.

Please make more videos like this. I died laughing and the accent makes it so much better. *OH, By tHE WAy, Can YOu TrAIn Me TO be BETter At ArCHEry?*

Faendal: Finally, I've earned enough money teaching archery to open my own archery shop! (Reaches hand into pocked) Faendal: What?! I've been robbed! Also, why is my hand covered in Gak?

0:25 you look like a disney villain whos tired of getting passed for head chef because the main character sings.

I love that he never used archery

I have literally never seen Skyrim run this badly before, in my life.

I can't believe we had Hoers Devors, an Appetizer, a main Course, but the chef did not get his 'Just Desserts'. How dare you skip the best part of the meal.

I mean Skyrim is a hot mess but I've never seen it this bad. Its glorious.

Would've been amazing if y'all found the Telekinesis spell. You can literally kill people with cabbages via that spell.

"Just a dumb side video" bro this is some quality content right here youve done an amazing job!

I, for one, am happy that Skyrim is still getting videos about it even after 7 years. It makes the wait for Elder Scrolls 6 less painful.

Legend says that, to this day, Faendal is still in the inn wearing the gack hat.

Ah, Faendal, my friend, what are you doing here. No no, you arent barging in on anything, just ignore the dead body... and all the cabbages

Imagine if you derailed the game and became the emperor's chef taking the identity of the gourmet.

you sound like king candy ate the swedish chef

Borrowing a horse The horse is fine with me And when I go to cook the horse The stew will look like pee

What Fendal does when hes not teaching archery: - Teaches himself archery

the reason why the game kept glitching even without mods is because skyrim's physics is tied to the frame rate, if you go over 60fps things get weird

Oh cooking a NON-poisoned meal? How very “bourgeois”

The Cabbage Assasin His last act of vengeance was assasinating the emperor with a bowl of cabbage soup and performed some sort of unfinished cabbage ritual on his body Probably to create a minion of some kind but failed miserably That is the story of the Cabbage Assasin a real story from Skyrim *Gets a cabbage soup hat* Huh, must've been the wind

Good luck, Master Chef

I love the idea that there is a superpowered murder Chef who isn’t good at assassinating, but everyone is too scared to tell him.

when you accidentally eat 6 cabbages when you're trying to give them to your archery instructor (who you have scammed into teaching you archery) #relatetable

Sweet Mother, Sweet Mother, send your Chef unto me. For the appetite of the hungry must be sated with gak and cabbage.

I love how all their jitter problems are because their frame rate is too high for skyrim to handle. Basically the PC is too good for Bethesda to handle. Like most things...

I revisit this after a few months and don’t fail to cry from laughter every time

The origin story of the cabbage seller from avatar XD

I have watched this video so many times, and the master lock joke never ceases to send me into a laughing fit. Accidental comedic genius

This voice makes me thinks this is some sort of Magic Brians Bizarre Adventure, with the goal of being a better chef then Takko

Town guards chasing him Chef: Hold on *eats a buffet* Chef: ok you can keep attacking now

Whenever someone asks me why I love Skyrim I will point to this video. Perfection

I can't wait for Cabbage the Assassin to get announced as the next Smash Ultimate newcomer.

How has seemingly NO ONE done an animatic of some of these scenes.

Easily the funniest Skyrim video I've seen in... hell, a year at least.

This was groundbreaking, game breaking, and most of all lore building. I never knew Faendal would be such a character.

So, I collect cabbages in Skyrim. I've been doing so since I first picked up the game. It feels wrong not to take them now. See a cabbage? Pick it up. A beautiful process. In my current Xbox 360 run, I have 2,050 cabbages. But still, it isn't enough.

I hope this just becomes a series. I’d love to see the Chef again in dragon age or fallout

"The ride is getting BUOMPY, AND HE IS GETTING QuEAsY!"

This is still my favorite video to come back to every once in a while. It will always get me to laugh so hard I hyperventilate.

Some say if your by the sea of ghosts late at night, you see cabbage...

I feel like Faendal visits his love to have a nice cabbage dinner date when he leaves

"He's not using his skin for anything" Tfw you're craving some Filet O' Faendall

i like how the chef just wanted to learn about archery but never actually used a bow maybe it was in case he needed to do on-the-go cabbage kebabs

I have no idea what spawned this unholy abomination but i absolutely loved it and hope for more.

Imagine being so committed to a bit that you lose control and eat six cabbages when you intended to give them to someone.

It. Just. Works.

Ok ngl, I never realized that you get a plate (typically used for dining) as a reward to foreshadow one of the last missions in the quest line. And I'm 100% it wasn't intentional

The game couldn't handle the power of Cabbages, so it just decided to break entirely.

0:25 Unassuming 1:00 Can you train me to be better at Archery? 1:43 Salt + Cabbage 2:25 Cabbage for Aventus 2:47 Oh. Potato. 3:18 A plate worth 32 gold 4:45 Bad friendship? 6:02 Jitter Mooses 6:54 Snow Camo 8:21 The gang’s all here! 9:07 Master lock 9:18 Victory Cabbage 9:34 You greedy...! 11:06 “Whoa!” 11:53 A friend’s return 12:20 Uh-oh... 12:40 In the cave, he met the beast! 14:27 Where have you been?! 14:43 Shadowmare’s secret. 16:07 (Cabbage noises) 16:15 The plot twist 17:11 A gift for the Emperor 17:58

Chef Skyrim sucks, he forgot the lamb sauce

Shopkeeper: "That would be $400" Customer: "Okay" Shopkeeper: "Would you like a protection plan on your ps4?" Customer: "No thanks" Shopkeeper: "Okay here you go" Customer: "Oh, thank y-" Shopkeeper: *EATS CONSLE*

Oh yeah, it's just one of those horses that are filled with SAND.

I've cooked Mudcrabs tastier than you!

Your dedication to the bit is extremely impressive and makes this video 50x more hilarious

“Oh, I guess it’s one of those horses that are made of SAND”

I never stopped laughing for this entire thing. This was fantastic. My compliments to the Chef!~

The game is running the way that it is because its running higher than 60fps. Bethesda games in the Creation Engine all have this issue, it really is a massive flaw.

This video deserves so much more love I think this was actually what finally pushed me to play Skyrim I wanted to become the best chef in skyrim

19 minutes and 34 seconds later, I was able to breathe again.

The 1 hundred folds in a chef hats stands for the hundred ways to cook an egg.

The words of disaster, "hey, can you train me to be better at archery?"

My love for this video is 10/10. So funny I'm crying. The accent is perfecto, the glitches, the surprisingly catchy made on the spot music that I thought was going to make me cringe but was really satisfying- *inhale* and lastly because I just love this game so much.

This should be a new speed run category

Giovanni Potage, the later years.

Can you imagine getting in a battle with a bandit and being like "hold up man", and you just lock eyes with him and eat FIFTY POTATOS. I died XD

"My Cabbages!" - Cabbage Farmer from Avatar, The Last Airbender.

I dont know HOW he got his game to function this bad but thank you for keeping it in your save. Literally never had a single glitch in my game AND I have mods. I mean im also on ps4 so maybe that's it.

I have never actually seen skyrim function that badly, I've had my fair share of glitches but never THAT bad in vanilla, yeesh. I also love how you learned archery but never actually used a bow, kinda like how one of my skyrim Archer knows light armor, but she never actually wears anything, she's one stealthy bastard that wears heavy armor. Archery can get Redonk levels of OP though if you do it right since one of the perks is actually Slowmo time and you can just Wreck everything from a distance. Also the thing with "lock eyes with a bandit and eat 50 potatoes". I um...I may have done that...except with Apple pies.

The best play through of Skyrim I have ever seen bravo

Legit one of my favorite videos on this website This is like my tenth time watching it