Welcome. My name is Maria Davids. Lets have conversations in the comments section. For promotion and collaboration contact tymmie001@gmail.com Instagram:Mariadavids
You'd be surprised how many people out there think differently. They care nothing for the poor children who are going to be condemned to a lifetime of struggle. Unfortunately that is what the rich want, generations and generations of peasants to slave it out for them. Hopefully people are waking up and putting a stop to the madness. The rich can employ artificial intelligence to slave it out for them, no longer human slaves. We have signed out.
I don’t know why we keep having these kind of conversations, it’s just common sense even animals stop reproducing when there are not enough resources, maybe it sounds cruel but it’s as cruel as giving a kid problems that they should not have like malnutrition
Nah, avoiding to have kids in the first place is alleviating any issues the kid will have should they be brought into the world. If they never come into existence, they can't go through the harshness that is this generation and world.
I stand by this 100 percent. I also stand against parents who dump their 5011 children onto their eldest child (daughter in particular). Its extremely trifling how parents will make their eldest child suffer and miss out due to their bad choices and lack of financial planning. 😕
@@naediggs4816 Maybe you haven't read my other comments to this video. I'm trying to ask engaging questions while playing Devil's Advocate to the original poster's position that it should be illegal to have children if you're poor. I'm entertaining the idea while simultaneously knowing what the outcome looks like in reality. Anyone with real life experience knows that putting the parents in the already overwhelmed jail system simply for being poor doesn't make the child's life any more enriched. Any sensible adult knows that this just makes everyone involved worse off. I just hoped that other comments would actually walk through what that would look like, before automatically jumping on the bandwagon of support or decline. I feel like there are flaws and holes in the original poster's argument that aren't even being considered. I mean, sure, you can hold and support this opinion, but when it comes to making it into real legislation, it's too simplified to become a reality. This is more like a rant about, "my parents are dumb, and I'm their offspring. I'm still young enough to blame them for my unfortunate circumstances, but too old to not actually be held accountable for my own decisions," thought process. Woe is me, if you will. I've been there, and I'm not hating on that person. I'm just asking for the next step in adulting. I'm at the age where criticisms like this make me want to engage more in the psychological, political, and economic aspects of the discussion, rather than jump to judgement. I was young, once. I was naive about how laws worked, and where failings in the system were much more rampant than what was actually happening inside my own home. I used to think my opinions carried more weight than the public and private fundings of organizations and businesses. Now, I just hope to reach more insightful conversations with the average people that hope and pray every day that the people who are representing them are really representing the interests of The People. Do you understand?
100% agree. If people can't afford rent, a mortgage, food, clothing, a car, and basic necessities without government assistance, then they should not be having children. It is not noble or honorable to deliberately birth kids into poverty. All you are doing is creating the next generation of wage slaves, and then are shocked😮 when your kids grow up and hate you for it.
I agree. I was born in 1990 and that was when people truly felt middle class. A time when your parents could afford to get you a decent amount of your wants along with your needs and you were grateful for what you had. Today, I would never have a child in a nonexistent middle class. It’s either supreme wealth or nothing at all.
💯. That guy who spoke about systematic issue mentioned how the elite wont change ish. Nobody offers a solution but when someone else does, its called eugenic. The gvt doesn't have to impose eugenic laws. The population have no choice but to stay childless.
@@fantym1633 Umm..no. Sex is not a "base need." WTH??? Sex is a want, not a need! A person NEEDS: money, housing, food, clean drinking water, clothing, etc., because a person can literally die WITHOUT those things! No human being, neither in the past or in the present, has ever died from *not* having sex! 🤦♀️ Again, wth?!
I went to school with a girl who came from a poor family with 10 children. There was hardly a father around and the mother worked long hours in physical labour. The oldest children raised the younger ones and then went off to live their own lives, then the younger children raised the even younger children. My classmate was basically a mother to 3 children under 7 since she was 9 til she was 15, in 8th and 9th grade it was 4 children because another was born. Shit like this should be categorized as child abuse and should be enough to take children away.
Unpopular opinion, and I will get hate for this, but sometimes the reason "some" poor individuals have kids is so that they can get a government check.
You are absolutely right. My sister had six kids to keep that government money coming in. She lived on welfare and Section 8. Never worked a day in her life. Funny thing is, my nieces and nephews are all successful and never been on public assistance.
Yep. In my country, some druggies and alcos do that. They get a teeny tiny sum (in the eyes of other people) that they use to fuel their addiction while their kids go without and grow like weeds, raising themselves. I know there are places that incentivise it way more with more $$$, but apparently, pennies are enough for the locals.
I used to think it was ok to struggle with kids. Because that's how I was raised. However the older I got I realized that it was a selfish way of thinking. If you can't afford kids don't have kids.
We need to have birth control free and available. Women don’t let men talk you into having children. Even if you get child support it won’t be enough, only if the man is very rich, which is very rare.
Rich and has legally been bound to fully agree to take care of any and all "issues" resulting from the union for life, in perpetuity, using an ironclad prenup. And even THEN, watch him for a while to see if he's crazy.
In my country its free but women don't use it . Everyone has a horror story to say mostly to push a religious agenda.pastor said so,some there religions don't allow it.for some it's a traditional belief,others are just scared .it's hard to convince them.all we can do is tell them the methods we have and side effects and let them make there choice. Even condoms are free but I have heard men say they don't feel anything which is quite reckless because our HIV cases especially in young girls 15-24 is the highest but men believe the young children are healthier.so they are infecting or getting infected too. Abortion is illegal but if you have the money ,many doctors will do it for you.the law isn't so strictly enforced
Grew up in a 3rd world country, seeing the poorest of the poor have the most kids and blame everyone else but their choices and put pressure on those kids to help them get out of poverty is just *chefs kiss*
They don't even wanna get out of poverty though. They are perfectly content passing down the generational curse of living to solely survive. They constantly reject a growth mindset and make decisions for their children that will keep them in poverty, as well.
I remember arguing with my Latin American economics professor about the causes of poverty and how alleviate them. We had a year long research paper, where we were supposed to make recommendations on how to alleviate poverty in some country. My policy proposal centered on free birth control. As a yong woman in America, I knew that birth control was the reason I was even sitting in that classroom instead of in a kitchen with 4 kids at 22. When we looked at the data the people who are poor were women and children. Obviously, if women stop having children, they won't be relegated to poverty and there literally won't be any children to be poor. He threw a f****** fit. I was one of the only females in that class and the men just did not get it. The single greatest predictor of whether or not a woman will experience poverty is if she has children!!!! I refused to back down. 1 month before the final project was due, the WHO issues a landmark paper on the birth control and poverty in latin america. Guess who was right all along? It was so obvious to me, but because men don't face the consequences of pregnancy or child rearing, they don't understand how profoundly impactful it is.
This video specifically is shaming an adult couple that is poor. We all know that teen pregnancies are out of the kids’ control. This is about people who can and know to control their circumstances, but choose not to
Yeah, don't ever expect a man to back you up on this, but you're right. Most of them really do see women as baby factories so without us producing kids for them they REALLY don't see why we exist.
Every time I say this, I get challenged with “Poor ppl deserve to have kids too!” No, they don’t. It’s not about what they deserve, it’s about what those innocent kids deserve and they do not deserve to suffer home and food insecurity. They don’t deserve to have to wear clothes and shoes they can’t fit or go hungry at school. Poverty is traumatizing! Bringing kids into this world because you feel you deserve it, and you know you cannot afford to supply the basics and some extras, YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING KIDS! Love is NOT enough! Calling it eugenics is moronic. If it’s eugenics, then these ppl having the kids in those conditions are committing child abuse.
I am an older woman but I knew that it did not make sense to have more children and so I stopped at 2 kids. It is hard. I think it is an act of love not to have kids.
I’m 34 and my mom has been asking me to have a grand baby for her. I told her with my wage and how expensive everything has gotten, there is no way I can afford to have a child. Me and my child would for sure end up in a homeless shelter so I refuse to have one.
@@melissasplitt158 No. And, I'm a grandmother. Unless OP's mother is well-off and is no longer in the workforce, then I would suggest that OP stick to her guns. I raised my grandkids and enjoyed it; they are now teens. What no one tells people is there is a cost (monetary and physical) for both the parents and grandparents. As a mother, I would not, and did not tell my children to have kids as early as they did. As a grandparent, I told my grandchildren to only have children when 'they' can afford to provide for them fully or at least wait until I retire for 3 years to have their children so I can help with looking after them.
I told my mother to get used to my dog bc that’s the closest thing she’s getting to a grandchild and it hasn’t been brought up again. If these older folks want a small child in their lives, they can go adopt one or sign up for some youth mentoring program. Not our job to serve as broodmares bc they want to play with some kids, foh.
Its not eugenics, its responsible parenting. Its a living being! It is egotistic to have kids when you cant even give them a bare minimum: food, shelter, safety, minimum 12 years of education, emotional support, etc. In what world is it "normal" and good and not egoistic to have kids when you can't even give them the bare minimum?????!!!!
@@shaypope4732 Clearly, you're reading my question with inflections that don't exist. I'm not asking this question with sarcasm or attitude. I'm entertaining this question, and playing Devil's Advocate, knowing full well where it ends in reality. People can't make changes to the current systems if they aren't willing to play the tape out and poke holes in the original idea. The position of the original poster is that people who choose to have children when they're poor should go to jail. Okay, which parent; mother, father, or both? For how long? Who takes the child, because for anyone to actually go to jail, there must be a child? Now what? Is the child in a better situation? Also, does being poor also automatically mean that you're abusive? Does being rich automatically mean that you're not?
@@raynemaxwell2000 You are being disingenuous with your inquiries because you know darn well what OP is talking about. Poor people, knowing they have no resources, who deliberately keep birthing children into unending suffering and hardship. We are not talking about poor people who know they are poor, so plan their number of offspring accordingly. They stop at 1, max 2. People who cry about being in poverty should exercise some control over their libidos and perhaps prioritize their education and financial status. Masturbation exists for a reason. As far as the jail question, I disagree with that solution. Forced sterilization is the answer, but we all know the 1% won't stand for that and we all know why.
This message shouldn’t be only for poor people. A lot of those rich folks, like Elon Musk with 11 children dump the responsibility on the mother or like the K family on the nanny and the whole team behind their success. Children need economical security, safety, love and you being there for them.
I agree. Children are people not pets. They need someone who loves them enough to hold them, hug them and talk to them every night for the first 10 years of their life.
I agree. I don’t like it when celebrities say “oh I take so-and-so with me everywhere“. No, you don’t. They can’t be there in all those meetings, they don’t follow you to all of your fashion shoots or auditions or table readings, or studio sessions, etc. Because if they follow you everywhere then when do they get a chance to be a kid? Poor people shouldn’t have children with no resources and rich people shouldn’t have so many kids that the resources take over control in lieu of proper parenting, and quality time
@@LoveAndSnappleAgree with you there. The rich have hoarded resources and condemned other people to eternal poverty. So if these so called "poor" people refuse to have children, the resource hoarders a.k.a. the so called rich might just start to think twice about their greed of hoarding resources.
It should be for both the rich and for the poor. If you can't afford to, don't want to, or basically just want to have one, just because... then you shouldn't have one. Period!
I've seen this post on Facebook several times that says something along the lines of, "How are you childfree and still broke?" Excuse me ma'am or sir, but why are you justifying being broke WITH children?
If you cannot afford to pay for yourself,HOW CAN YOU PAY FOR CHILDREN? AS IT SITS, YOU CAN'T PAY BASIC EXPENSES,LIKE SHELTER,FOOD,ETC.BUT YOU GOTTA POP OUT KID AFTER KID
I'm sorry but sex should be the last thing on your mind... Why aren't you focused on finding ways to get an income or increasing your income, read books, cultivate your talent, use your hands, gain skills, at least do something other than scratching an itch.
Exactly! This is why so many Republicans are so anti choice and pro birth even for those too poor to raise a child. These are also the same people who refuse to give assistance to those they have forced to carry on unwanted pregnancies or deny them access and or education concerning BC. They also need more potential soldiers to fight the unnecessary wars that make them billions.
The eugenics argument is so ridiculous to me and just feels like a major reach. Having a child is not a right! It's a responsibility. Some people are not in a position nor do they desire to have that responsibility. And the guy who tried to pull out the history lesson to make some point - it's actually quite insulting that he and others think just because someone doesn't have money that means they are not smart enough to realize the very basic reality of what MJ said - "if you can't feed your baby, then don't have a baby. And don't think "maybe?" IF YOU CAN'T FEED YOUR BABY!" And actually, it's more racist/eugenics oriented to believe this idea that you, specifically, are so special that you just HAVE to contribute your genetics to a species that is in the billions and has poor resource management 🙃 AND ANOTHER THING- He brings up religious zealots. Like, sir, why do you think they are banning sex education and outlawing abortions? They want poor people to keep making babies because then they are desperate and forced into labour and, likely, their children will be too. Use your critical thinking skills. But go off, sir 😂
@@the8thchurch461 in my opinion, it's about labor. Who can a king rule if there are no peasants? We live in a lot of delusions and veiling when in reality - a lot of the power dynamics have not changed much since the age of Queens and Kings. You always had the royal court which was just a group of rich families. You still have those people, that's what people refer to as "old money". Now, i will say, I think it's a lot easier now than it's been historically to get wealthy but even the rich people we see on TV, many of them are not as rich as "old money" rich people. Those are the people who make decisions. They want workers because the systems they use to make money REQUIRE people. And who has ALWAYS been a part of the King's court? The church/ the priest 🤷🏾♀️. The wealthy and the religious have been working together for generations because the wealthy have all the resources but the religious have the loyalty of the people (which people/laborers are also seen as a resource). They work together and they have complete control. Think banks. That is a TRILLION dollar industry and one of its major services is offering credit -credit cards, auto loans, mortgages, etc. Do you think people who are billionaires need loans? Of course not! They may use them just to keep the industry going and develop a relationship with a bank but they don't need it. Whereas most people who are working class live in debt that they cannot pay back. Which means that those banks basically own those people. They own their homes, their cars, etc and can subtly force them to continue to work so they can pay back what they've borrowed PLUS INTEREST AND FEES. In a way, it's just subtle indentured servitude. Its so intricate, I don't know if any of us can really get out of the game. It's been going on for hundreds of years. But what I CAN do, is not introduce any new characters which also allows me to have more money and less need to depend on predatory industries for basic survival. My 2 cents.
@@brownsongbirdFantastic. You cannot have clarified it better. It's really heartbreaking and brutal but this is what it is. I was preyed on by an American cult called Seventh day Adventism. Their sick obsession with pairing young men and women to marry them off so they can start popping up babies to increase the church population was hard for me to understand. Now you have simplified it. They couldn't care less about whether we were in the right situation to bring life on earth, financially and/or emotionally. Now I know that all they saw in us was just labourer creators for them to exploit. Very sad. They never got a single baby out of me of course. They had better luck getting one out of the pope and a beautiful nun. I am like you. I decided early on that I am not bringing more trauma into the world. I was only ever going to have a baby or babies if I knew that I have plenty of money and they are not going to survive but thrive. Thank you for your 2 cents dearest. All tragic but true.
I was we were gainfully employed, we had one child. He cheated while i was pregnant with my second. Over night half the income was gone and i had to figure out how to watch my kid WHILE working and being sick with pregnancy. You cannot be sure of what circumstances a man will put you in. Single motherhood is absolutely miserable - constant stress and anxiety while society looks down you even though you were a victim of an abusive man. Now that im older i see my kids struggling with the hardship of work and school while fearing their future with all thats going on and i feel like i was so selfish for not thinking how cruel the sentence of 80 years of wage slavery is. Between how often men abandon kids, how bad climate change is getting, how dystopian society is becoming - i would not advise anyone to have kids. Id rather watch the species extinct then to see generations suffering under unbearable working conditions on a dying planet.
I agree. Also,there has to be a limit. Some people have more children than they can possibly take care of. I should know, my parents have 23 children together. You saw that correctly
My family struggled when I was a kid and I knew it because there was so much talk about the cost of groceries, the electric bill, gas, shoes etc. It made me feel like a burden because I needed shoes and dinner. I did not want that for my kids, I wanted them to feel cherished and that they deserved certain things in life. People talk about kids being entitled ( like it’s the worst thing in the world) but kids are entitled to love and attention from their parents, food, clothing, housing, education and opportunities to succeed. If you are too poor in funds, maturity and mental stability to provide those things don’t have kids.
I used to sell insurance to seniors & we would have to gently & firmly remind them that old folks homes are filled with a ton of people who thought the same thing, oh my kids will just take care of me in old age. Oh honey, some of them, no they won’t. You can’t bank on kids for anything except that will grow up.
And sometimes it ends up the opposite. Either tge kid ends up a deadbeat too poor to care for their parents or they may end up with an illness or accident that will make an adult kid dependent on their parents for life until one or the other dies.
I agree; it really should be that there's a minimum salary amount that you have to make and that you have to prove that you make before you're able to have a child. And that salary amount should increase depending on what's going on in the economy, and how many children you are wanting to have and already have at any given time.
I agree…people are too irresponsible. Like get your mind right and your money right first…legit, sick of losers having many children and wealthy people have one or two…
Interestingly enough, that's actually really similar to how the process for adoption works, on top of having to have family and friend references to vouch for your character and living situation, as well as send photos of your home to prove you have the space to raise a child, and pay a lot of money in lawyer fees. So yeah, every parent should have to go through that honestly. But even after that process, theres still are shady parents that get through...
This is NOT eugenics!!! Eugenics is saying “because of your race or this, or that, you should NEVER have children.” This is saying to WAIT to have kids until you are a financially and emotionally stable. There’s nothing wrong with wanting children, if that’s truly what your heart desires. But finish school, get a stable career, stable housing, health insurance, then think about starting a family. And never have kids unless you’re prepared to be a single parent.
I was getting really annoyed with that smug boy who hadn’t understood the text. You are exactly right, eugenics is selective breeding of humans for ‘desirable’ traits. It is not saying hold off having children until you can afford them.
Yes they are. Many poor women, unfortunately, get a lot of their self worth from having kids. It's like the one thing they have when they don't have access to the other things that wealthier women have access to. That issue really needs to be addressed.
Agree, your bad decisions are not societies responsibilities. People, including myself, who tend to be middle class, choose not to have kids cos we know we can't provide the best life for kids. "Love" is not enough. Having parents under stress and living with a victim mentality doesn't bring up healthy children. We don't need future generations with unresolved traumas.
9:07 THANK YOU!!! We can’t keep feeding the monster and wondering why nothing is getting better. There’s this really unhealthy and toxic belief that Americans can shoulder through anything and that the American people are made of iron. Grit, perseverance, and tenacity. Those are just things that politicians say in times of crisis, so we pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and do all the hard work ourselves. How many times do they have to keep showing us us that they don’t give a damn about us and our well-being before we keep throwing our babies into the belly of the beast?
As someone who grew up very poor it was miserable. We were always hungry, we never had clothes that fit. My little brother felt so left out and hurt because he never felt like he fit in. I firmly believe my parents were insanely selfish to have us. It always seemed like they had money for smokes and beer but never money to get us shoes. I never wanted kids for many reasons but not having money is one I will always defend. Edit: also the thought of forcing my kids to be a wage slave makes me feel sick. This has been miserable. I’d never do this to someone I love.
I'm getting really close to making 6 figs by myself and I still don't feel like I can afford a child. To each their own, but I know that I'm not ready for a kid right now on my salary, because I know how expensive it is to raise a child to the level my parents raised me to.
I believe one of the reasons we don’t have universal healthcare is because giving people in poverty access to healthcare (i.e birth control) would result in a smaller population of workers that ultimately make the rich richer. Merica 🇺🇸
Which is why churches back a lack of sex ed. Because who goes to church, poor uneducated people. And who pays into the church the most, the government.
I'M SURE AS HELL the only people who disagree with the original video's statement are people who are guilty of being poor and having kids despite that 💀 It really pisses me off when those people say "you wouldn't understand because you don't have a child." We were all children once and experienced things we didn't enjoy, why the hell would you want to put your child through the same thing you went through? A lot of these poor people who are having kids were also the product of poor parents. They're content with their poorness and that's a big problem when kids are added to the equation. Just because you're comfortable living like a bum in you're own house (if you even have a home of your own), doesn't mean your child will be too. From a selfish standpoint, you might get lucky and have a child who's brainwashed, and also content with your poorness. But then you've failed as a parent, you've created another impoverished, content-with-struggling adult and they're going to continue the cycle. And if you're unlucky (I consider this lucky for the child not for the selfish parent), your child who is now an adult will resent you and want to do better than you. This is coming from experience. It's very hard to appreciate scraps when you wake up and realize that life shouldn't be like that. And if your child DOES appreciate scraps, you've failed and your child is going to be just as comfortable in their struggle as you. Congrats for creating another human that'll probably mooch of others to get by, congrats on making someone who doesn't strive for more, congrats on failing.
And those kind of people who are so desperate to get out of poverty, are the main ones, becoming scammers and trifling users. People that the rest of us have to contend with.
I agree. I grew up poor and I live a life of suffer. I am now well off but guess what I am child free. I would never ever ever let any child of mine suffer like I have.
I’m not poor and I don’t have kids but I don’t agree with people being put into jail because they are poor and have kids… abortion costs money… money poor people don’t have. Also a lot of the time being poor is generational and it’s also a result of systemic racism as well. There are layers and and layers to this. People who have kids might also start out with money but then lose their job from no fault of their own. What people should be asking is how they got to that point to begin with, how to prevent it, and how to help those out of because really there should be no such thing as someone being poor just like there should be no such thing as billionaires. Then law comes into place when it comes to reproductive control and we have seen what has happened with roe v wade being overturned and the birthrate being in decline because of it. Also this seems like another situation in which people attack women without holding men accountable, it’s just another tactic to demonize women in general. If you really don’t want poor people having kids, do something about there being poor people in the first place, do something about MEN not practicing safe intercourse. Do something other than point fingers and blame. Stop making a complex circumstantial issue sound like it’s easy or that the parents are selfish because you’re just assuming. You’re assuming a lot about people you don’t know.
@@itzTeTe Babes, we know all this already. No one is specifically demonizing women. We’re pointing the finger at both men AND women who make these choices. It’s not about generational poverty, and the system. It’s about people making their own foolish decisions about not laying down to have sex when they know they could come up with a baby. We’re not talking about people who were in good positions, but calamity befell them. We’re talking about people who don’t have a pot to piss in and lack the self control to not produce more children. We’re not talking about all the governmental and societal issues that keep people down and in poverty, that’s not the point of the video. With anything in life if you don’t have the means to take something on, then you just can’t have it. If you don’t have enough money to go out to a restaurant, then you shouldn’t be going to the restaurant and expecting someone to pay your bill. If you only have $35 in your bank account then you shouldn’t be going to the mall on a shopping spree. If you know you don’t have the adequate resources to take care of children and give them the quality of life they deserve, then you shouldn’t be having sex to bring a child into the world! At the end of the day, grab a vibrator, lube up your hand, and go to town on yourself. The result is the same and you might find you can take care of yourself better than with a partner.
10 месяцев назад
@@itzTeTe No one is attacking women in this conversation. The conversation is about impoverished adults struggling and deciding to add a child into the mix. You are adding shit to the equation just to be right, but no one is talking about any of that. Also, no one genuinely thinks poor people should go to jail for simply having kids. That's an extreme exaggeration of their feelings about the situation. I do think children should be taken away if the parents are struggling to feed them because that's literally the legal bare minimum. You don't deserve children if you can't feed them. Also, no one is shaming people for losing their jobs - but also, that's not the child's fault and they should just figure it out. My dad has lost his job before - guess what? He figured it out and I was never hungry, I was never in the street, I never slept in his car. He figured it out and these people can't? I really do not care to hear the explanation for that. If you truly love your kids, you'd figure it out to keep their stomachs full and a roof over their head. What the hell do you want me to do other than point my fingers? Them having babies when they're not financially ready to support raising a human is not my problem to solve. How the hell are you gonna tell me - someone who has grown up in struggle - that I'm just making assumptions based on nothin. This is all generalized statements. I don't know the specifics of anyones situations and neither do you - but there's literally no excuse to WILLINGLY decide to bring a child into this world when you can't afford to. This is not about r-word, this is not about people not being able to afford abortions. This is a conversation about morons. Not victims. Y'all always bring up this victim shit as if we are EVER shaming them in this conversation. That is NEVER this conversation and you know it, but you wanna be right so bad.
I had my first child at 35 after I graduated from college and got a six figure job. I had a kid with a man who also makes six figures. My child’s life is so easy. He has never had to worry about food, housing, or safety a single day in his life. I grew up where I had to worry about housing and food. I love my mom and dad but in retrospect, I can not believe that anyone would have a child under those circumstances. I get emotional when I take too long to cook dinner for my son and he’s crying that he’s hungry so I couldn’t imagine that people experience that every day with no food in the refrigerator and they can just live with themselves. Its awful!
Don't raise an entitled brat. You need to heal your childhood trauma. Not use your child to do it. You are parenting out of trauma. Remember permissive parents raise children who display the following traits: Entitlement Rationalizing Poor Behaviors Unrealistic Expectations of Others Impatience Poor Boundaries Poor Impulse Control Grandiosity (low level, spectrum Difficulty Regulating Emotion Anger Enmeshment Victimhood Making Excuses/Lack of Accountability Adult Tantrums Blaming Others Excessive Resistance to Authority Figures Difficulty Seeing Others’ Point of View (sometimes relates to empathy) Poor Respect of Others’ Boundaries Gossip Comparison Laziness You are literally creating narcissists.
As a woman that raised 3 kids alone and had to struggle, I agree. Kids deserve the best chance at a good life and don't deserve to be deprived because you are not able to provide. Thank God my kids are grown but I wish I could've given them a better childhood. I stress to my kids don't bring children into the world unless you can financially support and providing a good life for them.
If you had been imprisoned for raising your children in poverty, would your children have been taken into the care of their father(s), or would they have gone somewhere else? What would that have looked like to you?
@raynemaxwell2000 my kids would have my family, but being that I've never done anything in my life to be imprisoned is there a point to your comment. Nobody plans to be a single parent, but I did what needed to be done to provide for the ones I created. As I said , I'm in total agreement that children shouldn't be brought into the world without proper provisions. The cycle stopped at me, and all of my kids are very successful and thriving.
@raynemaxwell2000 it's one thing to make a point, which I agree with but jail time for birthing a child. As long as the Op isn't providing for said children, they don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in.
@@sxycrml35 I'm sorry, but I don't understand your reply. Are you agreeing that you should be in jail for having birthed a child/children into poverty? Because the original poster said exactly that. Or, are you saying that although you raised three children on your own, you weren't poor, and I just misunderstood what you meant when you said you struggled?
I honestly believe this is the first time in our society that we are actually thinking about children as children instead of extra hands or cogs in the capitalist system. Prior to this type of thinking, our society was built around the idea of procreation as a means of increasing productivity. Rich and poor people were encouraged to procreate to have better chances of surviving heirs to keep wealth and land in families. As we become more educated, technology driven and industrial, all of that changes. We don't need more human bodies for increased productivity. We don't need more humans to consume more stuff. We have finally reached a point where we can seriously reconsider everything we've been told about procreation. Poor people need a lot of things, children aren't included. We could do more as a society to help end poverty and child poverty. But the only thing we can do immediately is to hold off on having kids.
This is something i have been thinking about a lot lately. My father rents rooms in his house to other people. All of them immigrants from haiti. There is a common misconception in which they believe that the second they come to america the first thing they should do is start having multiple kids to take care of them when they are older. Im not against immigrants having one kid, but these people are dirt poor and can only afford to pay the rent. They have to depend on government assistance to feed themselves and their kids. My mom and dad also did this. I would prefer that when they come here for a better life to think differently. Instead of relying on a bunch kids yo help you 20 years from now, instead work and wait until you are able to take care of yourself. Get a place, be able to afford food. One women has two toddlers and is pregnant living in my dads garage with her husband. Two other women have two kids and share a room with their kids and husbands. That is not an ideal place and situation to raise a family. If you can only a room in a house you cant afford to take yourself or a child, let alone three. If anything should be illegal its having kids and not having at least an apartment. You should not be starting a whole family while having to rent rooms in a house.
As a child of immigrants myself, I agree. My parents never did anything like that, we’ve always had our own apartment. But I don’t wanna hear anything about how hard it was to raise me when they should’ve gotten their shit together beforehand. I also think it’s incredibly selfish when immigrants come over, childfree, and instead of getting to know their environment, learning the language, the money, and understanding what resources are available to them they just start having children who grew up in the country so they can be an in-house translator. Then those kids are. Ever able to really leave home because their parents have never put themselves out there to stand in their own two feet.
It's common with Hispanic immigrants too. That's why the parking in some neighborhoods is so packed. There's multiple families living in one household.
The best point so far was the lady who broke down the economic situation of poor people stuck with kids rather than having the opportunity to make an informed choice
As someone who is choosing to have kids in his 40’s (I’m 27) children deserve the best childhood with parents that have worked through their tramua and can provide everything to the child. So many people that are against child free individuals argue that just make it work but the child will suffer. It’s almost as if they don’t care about children but rather that you suffer with them.
All good but I hope you’re planning to pay for fertility treatments for your also 40 plus partner because if you’re thinking you’re just gonna build your life for 20 years and then prey on a young woman to birth your children…that is a red flag and you need to leave 🚩
@@recklessmermaid okay first of all I’m gay. Second of all I plan on adopting to give children in the adoption system a better life. How about you stop assuming every guy is a toxic alpha male that’s preying on women
@@recklessmermaid And also stay in good health to run up and down with those children. You can’t be an old 1920s father that comes home and sits down with the pipe and paper just cause money is brought home.
Dam 😂 let this man live his life . Y’all doing the exact same thing that people do and say to women who chooses to be childfree. Life is about lessons learned, he may have a complete change of heart by the time he reaches 40 years old. I just turned 40 and I don’t think how I did at 27. The internet is TOXIC AF.
@@markk375 so then you are planning to pay for fertility treatments or adoption. If my comment doesn’t apply to you why get so defensive? Tell me you’re not a“Not all men”… type of guy, sheesh 🙄
I believe that people should have to perform weekly community service before having kids. Unfortunately the only ethical way I can see that enforced is by introducing that as a stipulation on claiming kids as dependents on taxes....so really only gonna affect the poor and middle class, but I stand by it. Oh you don't have time to or are too tired to voluntarily pick up garbage for two hours a week or coach a soccer game...then keep your swimmers and eggs closed for business.
I legit had a male teacher (who was covering for my ACTUAL science teacher who was ill, she was awesome btw) say, and I quote, "So... we're supposed to be doing sex ed today, which you guys know. But since Miss is sick today and it's pretty embarassing we'll just skip it." I BEG YOUR BIGGEST PARDON??? Yeah my schools were shit.
I suffered through severe abject poverty my entire childhood. I've worked very hard in my own life as an adult woman to make more sound life decisions than what I witnessed in my childhood. I have 1 successful business that I created & I also have 2 part-time W2 jobs that both pay great money. I'm always working. I always invest my money & consistently save my money. People should be legally required to maintain stable employment before having precious babies. People should also be required to have mental health testing and other testing to ensure that they can properly care for precious babies.
I agree. If you have a child when you cant afford YOURSELF, that is when you become selfish because I have family members with childrten asking for money and acting like I need to help them out. Absolutely NOT
As a person who had to overcome extreme poverty I agree with this , there is nothing fun about growing up poor 😢 and most people don’t even overcome poverty - the biggest indicator that you will be poor in life is being born poor . For even 1 person who overcomes poverty 1000 stay in poverty
I’ve been saying this since 2021. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford them. You’re torturing them. It’s not fair to those innocent babies. Everyone deserves a good enjoyable life/childhood.
I agree. Why would you want to have children when you're struggling? Now they are suffering with you all because you wanted to have a child when you weren't ready physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. How is this controversial? This is common sense but then again, common sense isn't so common.
Even when you make a normal leaving, kids cost a fortune. It's estimated to be between 259-300k from womb to 18 and that does NOT include college or private school.
Yes and when you bring up the costs as an argument against you personally having kids, some people act like you’re crazy. Like the costs doesn’t matter at all and your quality of life will be better with the added responsibility
I think you should have to take an exam to be a parent. Like a parental license (driver's license). Emotional / financial intelligence should definitely be on that exam + other things. I was in college and in my twenties when I had my first kid. I was still living with my mom. I'm in my thirties now I'm doing very well for myself. 😊 My advice is to wait until you're in your 30s and financially fit to have kids. Being in school going to work and raising a kid is tough.
I'm going to be a bit radical here, but anyone who is really poor should NOT be having sex AT ALL!!! (Mind-blowing concept I know🤯) They should be working and going to school to better their lot in life! The truth of the matter is most people can't afford the potential outcomes of having sex & neither can the people they are sleeping with (who are likely at the same socio-economical level).
I’m so glad there’s someone who thinks just like me! I’ve been thinking about this for years! You shouldn’t be allowed to have sex if you can deal with the possible repercussions.
That's the real problem. People think sex is for pleasure when it's not. It's literally intended for the purpose of reproducing which is why people have to take birth control in order to prevent pregnancy. We have to shame people for having sex.
I fully agree that individuals and families who live below the poverty line should WAIT and plan to be financially stable to support (at base level) the bare ESSENTIALS for themselves and the number of children ABOVE the poverty line. But I also believe that this is a systemic issue that needs to be tackled FIRST. And maybe that means a generation or two has to skip procreation (not entirely but downsized for sure) until we can truly provide an EQUITABLE society where all kids regardless of SES are able to grow up with their needs met physically, financially, psychologically, etc
I used to dread having kids before I realized you can choose otherwise. I've felt such relief since I got sterilized a year ago at 30. I'm totally cool with just being an aunt
The opportunity cost is already extremely high. It's getting to the point in order to be wealthy in this life you need to be born wealthy. Break the cycle of poverty by any means necessary! 6:40 he need to put that silver spoon back in his mouth and hush. Although he is correct about the systemic issues keeping people poor
But being rich or wealthy still doesn't determine the outcome of offspring... they're still rich offspring that are addicted to drugs and alcohol and committ suicide everyday.
as an incest survivor hell no Im having kids... Im still dealing with the consequences so I will be CF and do whatever f* I want with my life now. My parents taught me nothing about life, everyday were just survive to the next day, I am learning how to live in my 30s hell no I will involve a child in my mess
The eugenics response is dumb af. I agree that poor people should not be reproducing and I say this as someone who grew up *extremely* poor. Poverty is traumatizing to a child.
Jailing poor parents for having kids sounds like a slippery slope. Edit: To clarify, I don't have a problem with _telling_ people they *_shouldn't_* have children, but I draw a line when we try to legislate and criminalize poor people. I think that's the slippery slope.
That’s my thoughts too…also poor people have kids because they don’t have enough money for an abortion most of the time…or their family will disown them if they don’t keep the child. Or their lives will be threatened by the partner.
@@itzTeTethat's not entirely true. Sex is free and so poor people partake in it as well. They just do it more unprotected bc I guess they have something against condoms and birth control. And BTW, condoms are free at most clinics and college campuses. So, idk how they're still getting pregnant out here by "accident."
No one is criminalizing them for being poor. They would be criminalized for putting another humans life in danger by reproducing. There's a difference and I fully support it. You should be forced to be responsible for your actions and think before you act.
The truth is love will never be enough. My parents were poor and had no choice but to work long strenuous hours in order to provide for me and my elder sister. There were times my father would have to go without food to ensure me and my sister could eat. The constant bullying at school because since my family had no money, most of my clothes had holes or were worn down. The most traumatizing part for me happened when I was 10 and my father being unable to afford rent was evicted and my family had no choice but to stay at a hotel for months. It was either that or a homeless shelter. I truly wish my parents could’ve put more thought into having kids and had been established financially before bringing two human beings into this world.
When I was in elementary school, the kids who could not afford lunch got stuck with peanut butter sandwiches. Not even any jelly on it. I would look down at my tray of food and feel so sorry for them. That sh*t sucks.
@@ravenrebel3183I had no idea about peanut allergies. I was in elementary school for christ sake. I'm sure those hungry kids weren't worried about any allergies they might have had when their stomachs were empty.
@@Childfree334 honey, a peanut allergy would’ve meant they died right after eating the sandwich. There is no wondering about it. The reason schools have to be aware is because if the number of cases of dead kids and lawsuits by parents. I’m asking because even a poor kid doesn’t want to die from anaphylaxis at school. Your school had an irresponsible policy that likely killed kids, which is why schools don’t hand out peanut butter sandwiches anymore.
I fully agree. Kids shouldn't have to go hungry because Mama and Papa decided they wanted to have ten kids. It's not a matter of poor folks not deserving having kids. It's about kids deserving a full stomach and a safe place to sleep.
Poor people shouldn't have children because the child deserves to not grow up in poverty. If you say you'll love the child and that will make up for it you don't love it enough to not have it. Going hungry is bad for a growing and developing body. You don't have to be able to buy your child designer clothing and the latest phone, but you do need to be able to clothe them in clothing that is clean and free of holes.
I grew up poor and it was miserable. Not only did I have to do without somethings physically but I was bullied for it and my parents took out their financial stresses onto me. Luckily I never had siblings because things would have been way worse. I'm 47 now and while I'm ok financially, I never wanted kids. I think other than my fear of pregnancy and childbirth, it was my own background that is a major part of my decision and lack of desire to have kids.
It's not only about money to raise a kid, this generation can't hold a longterm relationship, so many single parent households like never before and divorce rates. Women can do much more, cause having kids isn't the only purpose anymore. Mom's always vent to their childfree friends about motherhood and that tells me, so many have kids just to have them. They don't realise the easy life is gone and will never come back. You'll be second in your own life forever. Amd there's nothing wrong with it, to choose an easy life, cause it's tough enough without kids.
Y'all, I have 2 cats who are my heart. I work hard to make them happy, and I still stress myself out thinking that they are not self-actualized. It's a relief that I don't have to raise them to be productive members of society. They will never crash my car. They will never be truant. They will never attempt to saddle me with an unwanted grandchild. They will be cute & small forever. They will likely predecease me simply because their expected lifespan is much shorter than a human's. I suspect my girl has some college applications floating around, but that's another story. I do not have what it takes to raise an adult human, so I have intentionally not put myself in the position to have to.
I've been saying this since I was a teenager and I used to get so much pushback. But it really seemed obvious to me then and it's even more obvious to me now that I am a bill paying adult. SOOOO many adults cannot even afford to take care of themselves and somehow they have children, not to mention all the baby daddy dramas, etc. It's always baffled me. I don't want it to be illegal to have kids, but I really want society to pushback on these irresponsible parents.
When some grocery store checkout woman muttered about my purchase (a bus pass with work scrip) "Must be NICE, some people are blessed with money and don't appreciate it," I responded immediately with "That's because I CHOSE not to be 'blessed' with CHILDREN. If I had ONE kid I'd be below the poverty line - that's all it takes." Shut. Her. Up. Good. I had the strong feeling that if I were to follow Ms. Must-Be-Niiiiice back to her apartment, I'd find thousands of dollars of flatscreens and electronics that her 'blessings' just Had To Have Mooommmm.
@@beautyininsanity421Actually, affection and human touch that leads to the creation of new life should be income contingent. In the words of the late Michael Jackson "If you can't feed your baby, then don't have a baby. And don't think 🤔 MAYBE, if you can't feed your baby." Those lyrics are from the song "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'.
@@beautyininsanity421yes with vasectomies. They can have all the pleasure they want without impregnating anyone. Childbirth is hard nobody is signing up for that willingly. The men go around and impregnate multiple women even at the same time. Disgusting
I was the middle child of five kids growing up in a household where my parents barely made enough money for us to survive. My childhood consequently was laced with everything from home instability, toxicity from my parents, lack of food in necessities, and overall, a pretty traumatic childhood. It really wasn't a time became an adult that I realized just how rough my upbringing was, and that included how I feel about my parents, who I realized that in addition to how they treated my siblings and aaiùthey also didn't provide for us, I really haven't had much of any respect for them. So I definitely agree with the notion that you should not have children if you cannot afford to provide for them. It does leave its mark on us when we become adults, and there is the strong possibility of resentment and lack of respect for you our parents that we might have as a result.
A lot of poor people can't help having kids because lack of birthcontrol. Lack of education around sex. Many come from bad homes that have the kids having sex at a young age. This just seems like shaming women more.
@@maggiesamson337 Abstinence isn't always possible for some people. The statistics about how many pregnancies where from rape are very high. In any case 50% of abortions alone are from minors. Also around 60% of people are living pay check to pay check, so I guess you think more then half of the US are just impulsive and stupid.
Im so broke that i live with my parents at 35 while having a full time job. There’s no way im having kids when i can’t even put a roof over my own head!
I’m definitely one of those people that believe the poor should not procreate. I don’t care, call me elitist, call me whatever. It is extremely selfish to bring a child into poverty especially if you grew up in poverty and know what it’s like.
I swear, it's like a whole damn conspiracy. Just like how conservatives exploit the Christian religions to create cults that worship the upper classes as people "divinely chosen to lead" Right wingers have turned the entire concept of masculinity into a cult that is built to be exploited by the wealthy and powerful to let them hold into that wealth and power for as long as possible. Think about it. If you can brainwash a single dude into becoming a terrible father who is so fixated on competition and working as an individual to try and get ahead that they cannot work collaboratively with others to improve his situation? But regardless of this flaw of thinking, will still do everything he can to get into the position as head of a family? Well now, that one bad actor has just torpedoed the financial upward mobility of a family of two to 12 other people! So if you're a classest creep who hates the poor and want a world where your kids never have to go to school with poor people, planting a bunch of people who cannot work as a team into positions of leadership of a team would be an excellent sabotage!
Totally agree. We’re not entitled to have children it’s about time people realised that. They deserve the best we can offer. If we know we can’t give that to them and willingly go ahead for them that’s only for our selfish benefit and not theirs.
As a person who had to overcome extreme poverty I agree with this , there is nothing fun about growing up poor 😢 and most people don’t even overcome poverty - the biggest indicator that you will be poor in life is being born poor . For even 1 person who overcomes poverty 1000 stay in poverty . Can black people start thinking this way ???
Isn't it just common sense to just not have kids when you cant even afford a roof over your head and food in your stomach? 🤨 I know i should be respectful and all, but lets be honest having a kid when you cant afford basic necessity's is just being dumb
💯❗️❗️❗️ I’ve been saying this!!! I’m still reprogramming my mind about money because I was born into lack and only know lack.. it’s a painful struggle to be without why bring kids into it ?! And it’s the same with dating !!! Men and women if you’re broke why are you spending the little money you have to look good for a date or using your last for dating !! no no no we have to learn skills to increase our pay!!!
I agree. The only thing is life do happen and that's why I believe you shouldn't have more than one and maybe two (kids) in case you lose everything including your savings. 😢 The pandemic just shows me that having kids isn't a good idea at all no matter what. That's why the birth rates is declining all over the world. Just like the marriage rates. The only thing is increasing is divorces especially the gray divorces. No matter what politicians. Try to push to encourage they refuse to listen to the people and go against what is being said so everything will be inclining or decreasing.
I agree and speak about this all the time. True story…I’ve just moved from my home town to 23 hours away for a new start. Being that I just lost my husband. Me…my daughter…and my youngest son have good paying jobs, so we are able to stay in an extended stay until our housing is finished renovating. There has been a young lady there that has been unable to keep a room stay recently. She has a young daughter. Do you know this woman stands out in the hallway with her daughter and her belongings…hoping someone will pay for her stay? It’s appalling and sickening. This is neglect and trauma bonding for this little girl. The managers are allowing this. I think I being a nurse will have to force my hand to call the appropriate authorities if this continues. She’s stayed in that hallway with her daughter sleeping on a dolly for a whole night until the morning. I had four children. And they all can tell you that they were provided for. My grandchildren are provided for by their parents. And people need to be aware that the government is going through some things. Don’t be alarmed when your assistants will stop. Even child support ladies! And women…it’s ok to GET A JOB as well to provide for your children. This young lady in this extended stay looks very intelligent and speaks well. She’s not a dusty or crack head. Nor does she look mentally challenged. What’s going on. Stop worrying about a dead beat man and make shit work for you and your children. And as my father would say”STOP INCREASING CHILDREN!” That is NOT keeping men anymore!!!
I’m a woman 37 yrs old no husband or kids and I agree 100%. If can you not provide the basic necessities for yourself how are you going to do it for another human being
