Childhood memories that made me NOT want kids | childfree by choice 

Exactly. The reason I don't ever want to have children is because I don't want to force my ideals on a child to validate my own moral compass.

I grew up as a spoiled single child. I don't want to share my life with a kid! I want my time and my money for myself!

I'm so sad that few years ago when I decided to have children, there weren't really any channels like yours. I didn't know there is a choice... I regret having kids, and I really encourage people like you to speak up. There is a choice. And people should know about it.

Appreciate your bravery to cover this topic. My childhood was not idealistic…I wasn’t traumatically abused but I was rejected, neglected and betrayed in many ways. The instability of it all and the lack of self confidence has me so afraid of ruining another human.🤯 I think my childhood neutered me.😬

I lost count of how many times my dad said to me “when you have kids, you’ll understand”. And I just kept thinking, “why would I want to put myself through this, we clearly don’t make your lives happy”. And here I am. 43 years old male… still doesn’t want children! I do like children and I do bond with them, but I have no desires to have any. Studies show that if you didn’t enjoy your childhood, you generally don’t want children yourself. Respect to your honesty and vulnerability x

It’s so refreshing to hear another Latina’s perspective on being child free by choice. 🖤 Thank you for sharing!

While there are many reasons i chose to be childfree...I absolutely will admit that my upbringing played a large part in shaping my decision. My parents were both good people at heart, they did some things right- they worked hard so that my sister and i could attend the best schools/colleges, but they were quite damaged and had their own demons...narcissism, mental illness (bipolar/anxiety/depression) and addiction struggles to name a few. Our home was like a war zone most of the time - they had a terrible marriage- constant bickering, shouting, negativity... and much of the time over money. I applaud those who grew up similar and wanted to do better/raise a family differently, i just knew raising kids wasn't going to be the right decision for me from about the age of 16.

I feel like I can relate in multiple ways (I know, not all of them) because my parents had some similar mentalities. Weekends were seen as cleaning/dress you best on Sundays. Trips meant a long time in a car, followed by being on your best behavior for whatever relative we were seeing at the time. I had a serious hate for panty hose (they were so itchy and didn't help in any weather because they didn't keep legs sufficiently warm in winter and made you feel like you were baking when the outside temp went up), but eventually I was allowed to switch to leggings as a layer under skirts. My parents have stayed together but are the quite extreme opposites in interest/personality. So, less yelling and more nagging over miscommunications and small everyday decisions.

loved this video as a fellow childfree 20 something! thank you for sharing!!

Wow, we had the same childhood, only my mom was single, and we are black. I don't want kids now at 23 but I get worried if I will never find a husband or will I let my father down. So mannny things

Thank you for sharing, I can understand even though I've lived in a totally different culture than yours but the religion being part of the childhood was one of my worst childhood experiences as well and how I also was not happy with my parents and how they were also fighting a bit and just totally different from each other but still were together is all bad and ugly and equals not a stable life for any sane human. Ever since I was a child myself I had some sort of awareness and I've made up my decision that I don't ever want children from that age and up until now as a fully functioning adult feel the exact same. I see a baby and I feel literally nothing no joy no happiness no care whatsoever and the responsibilities of another human being is awful and a nightmare to me gives me stress that I literally feel in my shoulders and when I feel so much pressure and stress I can get panic unfortunately. Children should be wanted and loved from the first place and if every human thought it through actually with their fully functioning adult brain and heart after cleansing their past and emotions, this world would've been better by now and problems would've been less. Wish you all the best and happy to see that you're married happily with someone and both are childfree by choice 😊

Be fruitful and multiply...GOD!

Oh no...Im sorry that happened to you as a child. You should been able to watch cartoons and sleep late on the weekends🎉🎉🎉

Losers aren't supposed to reproduce. Don't worry too much about it

Because of the trauma I suffered as a child I decided not to have children at a young age I made this decision

Okay so many things to say… Yes 💯 thanksgiving food is so overrated! Also yes to the parent content. I’m vehemently childfree but yet I also consume parenting content like I’m a parent 😂 I like to think of it as a great source of self parenting tips though and it’s just kind of fascinating like you said. Developmental psychology was my fav class in college too. Glad I’ll never actually have to test out what I know though🙏🏼

Yes I can relate to the moaning and critical religious mother. I hate religion and critical people

I'm not saying that this is the case in most Childfree woman's lifes, but a lot of us have terrible relationships with our mother. I know I do.

Thank you for speaking. There's so much shaming and blaming of child-free women right now, as if coercing and pressuring women into motherhood will get a good result for ANYONE in the family.

Omgosh yes! thank you for sharing your story. Im 30 now and growing up my parents always fought too. If they're not fighting they're not talking to each other. I dont remember a moment that they were genuinely happy together or saw the love between them. And this translated to us siblings. We were all operating like we were all under obligation to be a family to one another, not really a relationship. I couldnt even talk to my mom without being dismissed because she didnt have the emotional bandwidth to deal with my problems etc. Anyway, now at this stage of my life that im married (3yrs no kids, and yes a big part of that decision is because of the family dynamics i grew up on), i realized that the best gift parents can give their children is a good marriage. You leave home secured that your parents will be okay with each other and just an overall sense of stability

Parents don't realize how much their behavior truly molds their kids. I used to hear from one of my parents that they didn't have any money...all the time. So I chose not to have a child for fear that I wouldn't be able to afford to raise them comfortably. Thanks for sharing.

First time watching. CF by choice myself and definitely influenced to some degree by childhood observations. I'm in therapy and uncovering ALOT and re-parenting. Still don't want kids but healing is taking place. Hope you get therapy to deal with all the junk - just for the benefit of being healthier mentally. 🌸

Things like this is why I’m childfree

Not wanting to have children because they’d have toxic grandparents makes sense and I commend you for making the choice not to do it. One of the multiple reasons I chose not to have children was because the father would’ve been a toxic parent. I’m divorced now and celibate. I still don’t want to date or have children. The peace and quiet I now have are some of the most valuable things in my life. Each person should think of what is important to them and make choices that facilitate achieving and/or maintaining those things.

You are so intelligent and pretty! Best luck in your life👍

I’m child free by choice and proud of it.

Ironically you are one of the few people who probably should have kids because you have actually thought about this stuff. Most people just thoughtlessly copulate then 9 months later the baby appears and they again thoughtlessly go on with their lives do what their parents did. Point is very little thought and reflection is put into it.

I think we need to start calling this child free by trauma. Because that's all it is

Kids can be a nightmare tbh. People assume that if you do all the "right" things: being healthy, positive, present, affectionate, encouraging, providing opportunities etc that you'll end up with a happy, well-adjusted kid. Too often this just isn't the case. There are many parents who have done a really good job & ended up with constant problems, disrespect, their kid on drugs or being promiscous, getting pregnant & not taking care of their child so the baby ends up at grandparent's house constantly.. It's always a risk.

A youtuber I subscribe to has been doing childfree content lately, so I'm getting a lot of recommendations for videos like yours. I just wanted to say that I can relate to childhood family life influencing your decision to have kids. One of my biggest reasons for not having kids is the fear that I will really mess them up. Great video!

I just commented to you on your video when you had just gotten new glasses to replace glasses you had that were a bit too big on you but also had lenses too scratched up for you to see very well with them anymore. As result you had been going without glasses until you got your pair about 8 months ago. I assume that pair that was too big with the scratched up lenses was possibly your first glasses. I'm guessing that you're nearsighted, meaning you aren't able to see things at a distance as well as you should. Going without glasses is never a good option, but considering the cost of glasses very understandable. That was fine except if you drive a car you really were supposed to be wearing glasses to drive. So since getting your new Tiffany glasses have you been putting them in a glasses case when not wearing them? If you are still putting them in your bag unprotected your lenses are going to be just as scratched up as your first glasses were. Your new glasses look so good on you and suit you so well I'm surprised your not wearing them all the time. Not only do you nice wearing but being able to see everything perfect would seem nice as well. You won't in anyway do any harm to your eyes by wearing your glasses as much and often as you wish to. I'm sure you might think that the more you wear glasses the worse your eyesight will become. That's not true at all. .

sorry I know this hasn’t got anything to do with the content of the video (which btw was v interesting, overall good video), but I just got a bit confused. You said your parents are Colombian but then you used the word Spanish for the rest of the video. Spanish music I understand (because it refers to the language the lyrics are in, not the genre, right?), but Spanish food at thanksgiving? Idk maybe someone can enlighten me if this is normal in the US to use the word Spanish to describe Latin American stuff but as an australian when you said Spanish I heard “from Spain”.

Girl I agree

That's so true. That's how my life used to be. My parents didn't even let me wear shorts at school even when I was in middle school and they wouldn't let me paint my nails because of school not even light pink. Remind you I was born in 2001. And all those things happened in 2013-14-15 not in the 80s.

because of my messed up childhood, pedofile parent destroyed 25y from my life rest of the time on this earth will be only for my health I dont care about anything else. Not telling others what to do with their lives tho

Is it really a choice then? or just a reaction where they are still controlling you? Us.

i relate to this so much

Meh it could be worse. I'm childfree by infertility first and then by choice second. Aside from the fact that I just never really liked kids even back when I was a kid; raising kids is too much of a headache and too expensive. But again it could be worse. My parents wanted to be grandparents so bad that they "legally rescued" (no joke they stole a kid, although legally) a child and pawned it off on me. The kid in question wasn't even related to us. When DHS finally showed up they said that they had been investigating the mother for months and didn't want the kid going back to her at all anyways. So there I was, stuck with this poor kid whom DHS didn't wanna take because all of his needs were being met at my house. It took a good year and some weeks to get that kid out of my house.

My wife just passed away last month. We were together for 20 years, plus 4 years of long distance relationship. I miss her more than anything. We chose not to have children, and it was something we were certain was the right choice. Now, a month after she passed away, I regret not having children... a child would be part of her, still here with me. Instead, I am alone. You sound a lot like us, so really think about it.

You don’t wanna have kids, don’t. But it’s extremely obvious that if you did you would not do any of the things you’ve mentioned your mom did with you.

Thanks for sharing and pls don't turn that page and be open minded. First of all, I hope you find a loving and supportive partner then go from there.

I grew up in a nice family with a responsable father a hands on mom. My parents were a good team and family oreinted. I am very greatful for my childhood and my parents they did great! Even so my parents always warned me that finding a commited partner wasnt easy. Specially a partner that I could really go ahead and reproduce with! They always explain about the hughe life changing no going back decision It was to reproduce specially as a woman!!!! They really explain it all!!! Im was born and raised in México, Im 42 years old, single by choice and child free by choice and I am so happy and proud about living the life I have really choosen for myslef!!! I live in a small town by the pacific ocean I run my own business I have a dog, grow a garden, long time friends and a community I love! I am so greatful for the education my parents gave and what I have been able to do with it! Im bilingual I had managed to study AND worked abroad in different countries. I love life feel thankfull AND excited about the future. Im a Pilates teacher, massage Therapist and caregiver. I feel to my bones I found my true calling in life and with this tools I learned I help others I see how their bodies change for the better and is so fullfilling! I love Im childfree I have so many single mom friends and to me their lifes is a bit sad! They have this living monument of a love that is no more but left them with a breading breathing little human!!! Sad and a bit stupid to tell you the truth... Im so greatful for the life and education my parents gave me and what I have done with it!!!! I am living my Best life!!!