China's Masculinity Crisis 

People of the world "America is so crazy right?" China "Hold my little emperor."

A real man is not a sheep, nor a wolf. He is a shepherd.

Manliness: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!

Im a chinese i fix all my shit myself. fixing car, changing oil, fixing house electric, wires. not b/c i want to, im poor as fuck

The entire country seems to be under construction.

Really strange that these guys mentioned the one child policy but not the HUGE gender imbalance it created. More than a million extra men who by definition will find it impossible to marry and have families. This is the true masculine crisis in China and it's surprising they didn't even touch on it, since I imagine it's having strange effects on the perception of masculinity. Although from what I've heard this affects lower class people more heavily. These guys seemed to focus solely on the rich portion of society, and let's be honest - rich kids are spoiled and coddled everywhere.

I always made fun of the guys with the man purses when I first got to China. 4 years later, I have a man purse.

Good times make weak men, weak mean make hard times, hard times make strong men, strong men make good times.

Rule #1 of manliness: If you worry about your manliness, you lack it.

I'm Chinese. I can say for CERTAIN that the ideal Chinese man is not a loser with a beer belly and cig hanging out of his mouth. Men can get away with that in some parts of China. But elsewhere, there are real expectations, you'll have a hard time getting respect from women or men if you don't meet those standards. I'll just mention 3. 1. Have a good job/make lots of money. If you can't hold down a job, no girl's gonna want to marry you and no one is going to introduce a girl to you. The pay and social statuses of your job is very proportionally related to your eligibility. For a woman, having a good/high paying job may make her look pretty cool, but it's also a liability because she usually only wants men who are equally or more successful. And men who make less would find her intimidating. She doesn't have whole lot of choices. 2. Take care of your family, financially. It is the man's job to provide the money. A woman's financial contribution is a personal/family thing. If she works, that's great. But, if mom works but dad's unemployed, NOT OKAY. Real men do not live off his wife or his parents, or anyone else. He should be financially independent and take care of this family (parents, spouse, children minimally). This means that men have greater pressure to get money-making jobs. A woman can be a free lance artist, heck she can be unemployed as far as the society is concerned. But if a man doesn't have a steady income, he's irresponsible, and a failure of a man. 3. Men are supposed to be strong emotionally, socially, but not necessarily physically. They are not supposed to not cry. (Though Chinese men seem to cry a lot more than Americans.) They are supposed to be strong and resilient when facing life problems or conflicts. If they just try to avoid problems, they are not manly. While that kind of strength is appreciated in women, their gender identity doesn't depend on it.

My own perceptions of masculinity were challenged when I met someone who had served in the SAS. He wasn't feminine but was softly spoken, polite and in no way socially dominant while talking. He was kind of a introvert. In many ways western society expects a man to be socially aggressive and dominant in order to be masculine. He didn't meet those stereo types but by nature of his former position was clearly a badass of the highest order.

As an Asian man, the first time I saw this video I was angry. But then I realized that masculinity essence grows through challenge. So I got up, got back to the gym, and started communicating with strangers and asking out random girls for a date (something that Asian men most likely have never done), and I became more confident. The feminized Asian guy can't get a girl but can keep a girl interested, that's why our divorce rate is low, all we have to do is to increase our masculinity. Thx dudes

Left wing, right wing, chicken wing! Buckawk!!

8:40 " I Thought All the men were gay" "Your not the Only one...." HA!!!

so basically I'm very masculine according to Chinese standards

Thank you for this interesting video! I'm a European with a degree in Chinese language and culture and spent about two years in China and Taiwan. While I'm familiar with all the things you mentioned, my experiences have partly been a bit different: . - I've met loads of Chinese guys who work very hard to impress girls. Like you said, arranged marriages etc. are still seen among rich/powerful/very conservative families, but are not necessarily the norm. - Lots of young guys exercise, also to look good (less weightlifting than in the West though) - The 土豪 with their cigarettes and man purses are seen as tacky by reasonably educated Chinese people. And a big belly on a guy is mostly considered unattractive by Chinese women as well. For some, having a big belly (just like a really long fingernail on the pinky) is just a way to show that they don't have to do physical work which is not seen as prestigious. In many European countries, being a skilled craftsman is quite a respectable profession, while the Chinese seem to strongly prefer being business people when it comes to prestige. - I think the fact that these guys are flaunting cash is attractive in a way because so many girls were raised in way that made money a high priority in a potential male partner. In Western countries that have been relatively wealthy for a while, the view of money is quite different compared to large parts of the Chinese population. As you said, the parents' generation of today's 20-somethings often grew up way poorer than their kids. - When Chinese people talk about 男子漢, that usually does imply a muscular physique. Interestingly, I also noticed and have been told by locals that many of the more muscular guys are in fact gay.

Having a convo while riding bikes... that's pretty dope

_Metrosexual:_ a blind person thinks you're straight and a deaf person thinks you're gay.

"a masculine Chinese man spends as little time with his family as possible" awwwww

From my recent experience over in China, I found that young men don't know how to fix anything. They are accustomed to calling someone to fix things with an unwillingness to figure out how things work or create solutions to make things work. I'm generalizing of course.

“I found it kinda funny- That man is peeing- Anyways...”

"When he got to China he thought everyone was gay, and he was like really happy. Then he found out that they're not actally gay, they just... look gay".

Monday mornings where I live start with your videos. I literally start my week watching you guys over breakfast. Love the way you make your videos and support all your projects. You guys are awesome! Keep up the good work! 🤙

@ 2:32 I come from Eastern Europe, and that description for manly is same as ours (Gopnik) down to every freaking detail, only thing missing is Adidas tracksuit xD And the Bluetooth earpiece is the latest "upgrade" XD

It's not just China, most anti-gay cultured countries tend to have men that appear more "feminine" compared to the west. For example, men in India, China, Pakistan all can be lot more touchy with each other, because they see nothing wrong with it. The thought of it being gay, or having any sexual meaning never crosses their mind. The westerners are very scared of getting called gay or having their sexual orientation assumed wrong, so they label everything as gay or not gay. I also disagree with calling Chinese men not seeing real life. Most of these poor people are seeing real life, even as a child. Many Chinese boys even work as children, instead of playing minecraft all day. In many ways, I would say that's lot more rough than the rich spoiled western culture.

Bravely taking on this topic, good job guys, this was really interesting.

Thanks for making me appreciate my beard a little bit more. Ur social commentary on China makes the world a little closer. Knowledge and understand is a weapon against hatred ignorance and bigotry.. Thanks again..

I think it's so funny when foreign exchange students from the Middle East and Asia come to America and expect the women here to wait on them. My first bf was Chinese studying in my hometown and told me he was mad that I didn't wait on him or make him a sandwich. Broke up with him the next day. Also, Vivi has always seemed super forward thinking and smart regardless of the "man's society" in China. You married a great woman C-milk!

This comment section gave me several cancers.

Don't worry, in the West you won't find much masculinity either nowadays. Unfortunately.

6:36 "that man's peeing" "Yeah"

It is quite a refreshing feeling to have a glimpse of the Chinese culture from a different unbiased perspective. Winston, you and your friend(s) have done a fantastic job. 你真棒！

I actually don’t see a problem with androgynous or effeminate men, if that’s what they like. No men should be forced to be masculine. Granted, that’s a different topic from coddling which discourages children from developing initiative, creative problem solving, and resiliency.

"Masculinity is not about being the biggest, the fastest, the strongest, the one who sleeps with the most girls, and the one who has the most money. The one who has the most accomplishments is not the most masculine. In fact, it is often the men who covet these things most who are covering and compensating for the greatest insecurities. Let us revere the one who loves others deeply, loves himself deeply, and has a dream that he is inspired to live with and by and through. He is a man. He does not stand unmoved or untouched in the face of truly moving experiences. He does not judge the totality of his life or anyone else’s life by the totals on the scoreboard as the clock ticks down to zero. He does not use money as a proxy for emotional connection nor material possessions as the measure of his self-worth. He does not define his manhood by the number of women he has conquered. He does not always fight fire with fire; sometimes he doesn’t need to fight at all. He does not meet seriousness with silliness when it is seriousness that is required. He does not take risks for risks’ sake, because he does not hide from his frailty, his mortality, or his humanity. He does not pretend to know everything about anything, nor is he afraid to admit when he knows nothing about something. And perhaps most important of all, he does not walk around thinking he’s The Man. No, the masculine man goes through a journey, a process of self-discovery, and figures out what he needs to do to acquire the tools, knowledge, wisdom, grace, love, passion, and joy to pursue his destiny. His destiny is his dreams. Those may evolve over time, but in their pursuit, he is not breaking down anyone else or hurting anyone else. He is not at war with other people, conquering them. He is the one joining forces, searching for the win-win. He is the one who is lifting others up, inspiring others through his journey and his own process (in which he is finding ways to create value along the way). He is the hero of his own journey. And in so being, he is looking for every way to have the best relationships possible with his family, friends, his romantic partner, his colleagues, or his customers. He’s finding ways to be the best possible version of himself. Masculinity is about discovering yourself and owning what you find. It’s about being kind to others, and pursuing your dreams with all the passion and energy you can muster. It’s about doing something that is meaningful to you that brings value to others. That’s how you build a legacy." ― Lewis Howes, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives

SerpetZA 2017: "I love to keep politics out of everything." SerpetZA 2021: "And oNe MoRe ThInG wrong with the CCP is..." Guess even if you don't believe in politics, politics believes in you, and eventually it can't be ignored.

In the west we also have a crisis, but instead we go off the rails in an over compensatory manner. We just think getting swole, upping our tinder count, and watching football is masculine and don't bother with anything else... As a result men are failing in schools, relationships, and lagging behind in many professions. Not to mention all round dull with no ambitions.

I'd imagine the Chinese arent primarily as concerned with how the men dress, i'm guessing it's more about the fact that little emperors make for a poor work force

I'm a video editor and I love having you guys videos playing in the background as I work I find myself just letting a playlist run for hours. Please keep going as long as you can, this is such great work.

This series of videos is just so very very valuable. We form opinions about China from afar, and sometimes these are on mark, but very often they're completely wrong. As the century wears on, its imperative to properly understand China, and we can't do this without insight from such intelligent observers on the ground. Well done, guys.

I have this impression that most of things in China (including culture) are kind of artificial.

2:50 The bluetooth piece completed it, you've literally described my dad xDD

While you make a lot of good points about the "little emperor" spoilage and the arranged marriages, your lack of experience with Asian school age kids is also, a little obvious... Psychologist Elaine Aron - who identified the genetic trait of SPS (Sensory Processing Sensitivity) - noticed during her research that in East Asian cultures, "sensitivity" is considered a positive attribute for men, whereas in the west it is considered 'unmanly/feminine'. As a result, East Asian parents/schools encourages boys to be more in-tune with emotions, both themselves and others, which is a trait that "masculine western men" sorely lack. In fact, Elaine commented that in the west, a boy born with natural sensitivity is bound to become bullied to the point of low-esteem, introversion, and even suicide, whereas in Asia they are welcomed and praised by those around them. Thus, for a man to show feminine traits or be "effeminate" has never really been seen as a problem. That being said, Chinese culture does expect men to be fully independent, capable of bearing hardships, and have long term vision, and that's the side lacking these days.

You guy really need to learn about some history. The homophobia in China is imported from the west. It largely came about as part of the anti-Qing movement (May 4th, etc) which looked deeply to the west to guide it intellectually. Homophobia was part what was imported. The Qing were very open to homosexuality; in fact it was common for well off European gays to relocate to China, especially BJ and SH, because their home countries usually had the death penalty if you where gay but they could live openly and freely in Qing China. Acceptance of homosexuality varied from dynasty to dynasty with the Qing and the Tang both being very accepting. You should think of it was the west trying to impose something new on China, but rather China returning to it roots and throwing off western homophobia.

I live in Korea and a good chunk of men are super effeminate. A real man here isn't all that attractive (at least to younger Korean women) because they live in the mindset that all men should be caring like the guys in K-pop and K-dramas. Koreans don't fully mature until they hit their late 30s (or are used to being around westerners). I don't blame China one bit for doing what they're doing. It's hard enough to date in Korea and China but media isn't making it easy for folks.

Again.. loving the insight of your videos and honesty. I live in Denmark. I moved to England for a time and I certainly saw how the older generaion was just old fashioned and gender roles. My dad took leave to look after me back in 1982. My mum went back to work. Forget the roles. A man should want to know how to do things that can make him survive on his own. The same with women. Women shouldn't be allergic to DIY lol

On the kpop thing, in South Korea, pretty boys aren't really seen as a big issue. Young girls are very much into pretty boys and kpop caters to that. In fact, Korean culture is very much into keeping up appearances. That's why fashion and plastic surgery are big industries over there.

I think japan is having a more seriously crisis.

Regarding arranged marriages: I think people these days confuse it with forced marriages.

It's funny how these white dudes work out, dress up just to be "manly" and "win girls' heart". Cuz as a Chinese, I work out, dress up because I enjoy doing em.

The title had me worried. I thought C-Milk was being deported.

When ya showed the dudes ribbon dancing I about lost it! 🤣😅😂😂😅🤣🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

This video is full of stereotypes and misunderstanding of Chinese society. The observation and conclusions are superficial and too judgmental. As a nation with over 1 billion population, one needs to take time to truly know the country and the people. The figures as described are only a certain group of people, which cannot stand for the whole Chinese. To be masculine does not simply mean being physically big and tough. In a civilized society, education and respect are more important. I am really disappointed with this episode. It's full of self-indulgence and ignorance. The superiority will not help you much, sooner or later you will become the laughing stock if you don't know how to respect and when to act with humbleness.

Well. I'm gay and when I went to asian I was surprised at how feminine the men looked. I wasnt excited because it was a little too feminine for my liking but I also found it comical. I can get along with pretty much everyone regardless of politics. I always fall somewhere in the middle just like you guys. What I dont like though, is how authoritarian the chinese government is. Things in the west have gotten really crazy with lgbt and race issues which have pushed me back to the right. Imagine being a gay person like me who now will probably vote for trump lmao. It's a weird world we're living in.

First time I saw c milk I thought he was gay

The guys are absolutely correct in their comments. However, Chinese family especially Mum's want their daughters to marry a 'nice' Chinese boy, not a westerner. I caused a shocked response when the family house keeper first saw me in just a towel after a shower crossing to the bedroom. I have blond beard, blond hair, blue eyes and covered all over with western style body hair. Took the wife's family a while to get used to me. Thick beard and body hair are rare in China. I often attract curious looks on the street especially in more rural areas. Not sure what they think but people of all ages & position want to take photos with me. In one far away place a young man asked if I would mind having my photo taken with a surprised very old man sitting near me in a temple park. Turns the 90yr old man was his Father and I was the 'first' westerner he had ever seen in the flesh.

I am abandoned by my father's family, because all they wanted was a son. Then he married other 2 woman just to fulfill his family wishes, to inherit money and stuff. If I was a boy, I think I would be a king right now. But I don't want that at all. I love how you guys cover these kind of issues of China!!

Thank you guys very much for posting this! It helps out alot hearing your words, especially with the personal masculinity crisis that I myself have been going through.

13:40 My partner and I were very worried how she was going to introduce me to her very traditional parents, but after our first dinner, they loved me, and i love them too.

As a Chinese guy I was laughing all throughout this video.

You are diving into this subject with the bluntness of someone who lives in China, which is different to how we approach these things in the West. And especially with at the end, 'we don't take sides' - I feel like you guys are going native! Blunt in pointing out observations, but cagey in expressing heartfelt opinions and bigger conclusions is a way I would stereotype my Chinese friends.

S O Y B O Y S

I just returned from Beijing and Qingdao, I was shocked they weren’t in general aggressive or intimidating, I felt like having a brake in my tough guy macho Alpha man acting mode; its felt good. No way I can walk that way in any American or Latino Night Club or any Western men environment with out your manhood/? be challenged. Its dosn't mean they are pussies, they aren’t scare about you because bigger or stronger. I guess their masculinity is not based in muscles and testosterone but in other concepts. I didn’t see any wrong on them.

I don’t speak Chinese lol So it’s really hard to understand the culture in these times But I dated one Vietnamese girl And lots of these things are true With the family hierarchy And the men being spoiled to the point they treat women horribly in marriage It’s crazy because the kdrama’s and Asian Tv completely misconstrues the expectations of a man And they don’t expect the fantasy guy But on the outside It confuses foreigners like me Anyways very insightful I love the videos Love the effort you put into them Thank you so much.

You guys are Crusaders of peace! 👍😎🏁 keep up the good work! Peace be on to you two!

Than rare moment when you are glad to live in Eastern Europe.

My personal experience tells me that Western men are more masculine on the outside, but Chinese men are more masculine on the inside.

"appear weak when you are strong, appear strong when you are weak"

This is obviously over-exaggerated. Also, at the beginning, your interpretation of the stereotypical Chinese masculine male is only correct in a certain region and social class. You guys always want to interpret Chinese culture and society like you know the truth of China, but the way you frame these issues is really subjective. This is a really bad way, and it sometimes can be misleading because China is so big, so complex and so diverse. You should never use a decisive and generalised tone when describing China. Every province, every city, every village and every family has its own tradition, norms and way of seeing things. This is why you guys have so many haters from China. China is a complex country and really hard to govern because people from different regions has their distinctive mentality. The only thing that most people share to some extent is Confucianism, but this ideological tradition is very weak today as china is going through a massive reform in every aspect of the society. You guys are not China expert. You really should learn from the Ja Yoe Nation, talk real experiences in your life, instead of explaining and judging issues you do not really know.

Being a men has not much to do how you dress/what kind of music you like. It's about having "balls", taking responsibility and being respectful, at work, for your family, children and partner...

"one child policy...more boys than girls... the guys don't have to do any work. girls are handed to them" lolololol. anyone else see the paradox?

Oh god that dance off is cringe worthy, and I'm a white guy with no ability to dance at all myself.

"If you wanna dress like a flower boy then go for it!... 😂"

I love listening to you guys! Great insight and no BS. Keep it up!

"The boy are valuable" opinion is not still popular at least in eastern area. Many Chinese boys can't find a girlfriend. The arrangement just offers a chance to meet not a deal. The girls are picky in China. And the mother of girls actually push up the housing price in China! Rich boys have choice but the girls also can choose. And nowadays, at least for my male friends in China, many of them go to gyms and they are training themselves.

I keep wondering why women can't work on farms. They keep saying couples want to have a boy so he can do farm work, but I never hear why women can't do it too. Seriously, if the lack of women in the country is starting to cause problems, they really need to re-examine these ideas.

I think chinese (or asian) guys dressing like k-pop "flower boys" isnt really supposed to be feminine, but rather to look fashionable and probably rich. And there is has been similar or maybe almost identical stuff in western pop-culture and fashion (anyone remembering Michael Jackson? Or the Backstreet Boys? And now isnt there this flower boy called Justin Bieber?) Also a man growing a big belly from drinking too much beer and smoking doesnt sound very foreign to me. The differences are more subtle.

Real men win the 1976 Olympic men's decathlon - oh wait, never mind.

The difference is that in most Asian countries, education is the number one priority in a child's life. In the West, sports, popularity, and appearances are a much larger priority in the lives of those kids. In many cases, the popular kids are actually expected to have average or lower grades while the highest grades are reserved for the nerds of the school. That kind of culture warps what people value including what they find attractive and what they consider successful.

These guys describe the millennial generation as a whole not just the Chinese... Btw I thought that the fact of loving more male babies, lead to overpopulation of males in China leading to an opposite situation. For men in China is harder to find a female companion and this fact leads them to anxiety.. I think this video is missinformative..

A great thing about being in the comments section...I do get to take sides! Actually, I don't really have anything to say on the culture side of this issue in China. I am for traditional (but non-chauvanistic) conceptions of masculinity in the West, but China...what the heck do I know? What I will say is that, even when real cultural reform IS needed, it's not the government's job. I am all for people going out and trying to fix what they think is wrong in a society's culture, but it is the *people's* responsibility. This is another example of the CCP confusing themselves with the Chinese people and society. It's a scary thing when culture/society and state/government are treated as the same thing.

I grew up really hard not having any parents or family. I lived in 13 homes by the time I was 17 and was then emancipated by the state. I have no regrets at all because it made me really strong and there is no situation that I can't handle, no problems that I can't solve. I've ended up being every bodies rock and everyone comes to me to help solve their problems and I'm good with that. I just love this channel. You guys are amazing and are doing a stellar job! Keep up the good work!

“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”

Fascinating and worrying at the same time. Thanks.

All these folks who say traditional minded people are not tolerant when they wont tolerate my strong traditional beliefs.. ?!

4 years after the video China start to carck down on pop stars hard Such a foresight

interesting topic. Keep up a good work.

I've seen Chinese guys here in New Zealand (mostly foreign students) carrying "man purses", going to a Taylor Swift concert, not with their girlfriends or sisters but by themselves.

I'm an Asian Male who grew up in Canada. I think that if the Chinese Government wants their Male Populace to become Men , they have to make incentives to join the military , in which they learn discipline, they work out regularly, no fancy haircuts, and so on. They should also give incentives to hard sports like comabative sports, competitive weightlifting, track and field, and forget about these soft sports like tai chi or those fancy martial arts. Men need a mission, they need a goal. When men do not have a clear goal and merely just following the trends, they become weak, both physically and mentally. Having a beard doesn't make you manly. Being able to shoot fire arms, fight , build things with your hands, navigate, troubleshoot, follow orders, give orders, lift weights, manage your finances, struggle and succeed when the environment doesn't suit you, then and only then can you call yourself a man.

Coddled children turning into soft, narcissistic adults is a Western problem too.

That's a great idea to tour around on your bikes for all to see while you speak about topics

I'm an asian guy who's neither feminine nor androgynous :O guess I'll never get a chinese / asian gf :X

Good for Vivi for standing her ground. She's sweet and adorable and you two look so much in love.

Been listening to quite a lot of your videos and you often mention that the comment section will blame you for voicing your opinion. 1. I haven't seen any of those comments (but again, you have read more of them). 2. I am grown enough to differ between reality and opinion. (those two can be the same thing). 3. Of course care if people react bad to your opinion, there might be truth to their critic. But remember Argumentum ad populum. Just because the majority says x is wrong/right doesn't mean that it has to be wrong/right. 4. I respect people who voice their opinion. If you dont push ideas and such, who will? As long as you are open to the idea of being wrong, that is all that matters. It is up to us individuals to critically think about that opinion and make our own. Anyway sorry for the long text, love your stuff. You guys got a great thing going. Just wish you would go to more countries and do a similar thing:) Been very nice to get to know Chinese culture.

“You gotta UNDERSTAND China...” LOL I watched this one again and threw this comment in for a laugh.

Suggested new channel name: Manginas On Wheels

I am guy living in Hong Kong. It seems real men here are someone who makes a decent living for himself,his family and also makes sure his ageing parents are leading comfortable retired life. Building biceps, growing beard or moustache is not really Manly, even many gays are growing moustache and have muscular physique.

Have either of you ever considered traveling to Vancouver bc? I live there and about 40% of the city is Chinese, there are around a 1,000,000 people in the Vancouver area and like 400,000ish of them are Chinese which is pretty significant so Chinese culture is pretty prevalent here and I’d be interested in knowing like how authentic some of the food and cultural practices are.

As an ethnic Chinese (Hakka), I am so happy not live in the mainland and not to be like those ridiculous guys.

Their lung cancer rates must be sky high.

Living in China I can relate. Your comments most informative. Keep it up!