Cinematic Excrement: Episode 130 - Gigli 

I have Tourette Syndrome. I know other people who have had it as well. None of them randomly blurt out swear words. It’s a very rare tic to have. Stop it Hollywood, stop it.

This is what happens when Chasing Amy, Rain Man, and a mobster movie all get thrown into the garbage disposal

Thumbs up for the constant variations of the Gigli name. Best one - Jigglypuff.

"NOT AS BAD AS 'THE ROOM' - CINEMATIC EXCREMENT" -Gigli Blu-Ray box quote

2011 Smeghead: I'm dreading the day when I have to review that [Gigli] 10 years later, the time has finally come In case you don't know, the quote comes from his Cat in the Hat review

"It's turkey time. Gobble gobble." It's one of those strange, baffling lines that kinda sticks on your head like other bad movies. A good example is "Man everybody got aids n shit" from Showgirls

2:07 Mr. Gigli 2:42 Mr. Jiggly 3:04 Mr. Gig-lee 3:15 Mr. Luigi 5:19 Mr. Ghibli 5:47 Mr. Giggity 6:08 Mr. Squeegee 8:06 Mr. Wheelie 8:28 Mr. Jiminy 11:21 Mr. Jinkies 12:10 Mr. Juggalo 13:06 Mr. Jambi 13:53 Mr. Jigglypuff 15:20 Mr. Jellybean 16:10 Mr. Quan-Chi 17:33 Mr. Gigli-Gigli-Cocoa-Pop 19:17 Mr. Jimmyjam 20:03 Mr. McFeely 21:57 Larry Gigli-Jingleheimer-Schmidt

“Who watches a Smeghead video at 3 in the morning?” And you know the rest.

Here’s a fun fact: My mother used to teach cheerleading, and one of her former cheerleaders actually appeared in this movie as a FedEx clerk. Both my parents actually really like this movie. It’s worth noting that my parents and I don’t have similar tastes on most things. Edit: I meant coach. Not teach.

Halle Berry dodged a Gigli bullet but got lacerated by Catwoman’s claws. 😭😂

The smeg head speechless, his face full of degection looking blankly at the camera for like 15 seconds. Me: oh this is gonna be painful isn't it?

As a bi woman, I agree with Sean; if a woman like Jennifer said that to me in bed and was being serious, I’d also leave.

Actually, I found The Room to be a lot more entertaining than Gigli. Also, that “turkey time” line feels like a holistic suppression for sex addicts.

Executive meddling: always fun. Gigli expectation: a mob movie Reality: a mob… comedy? Pearl Harbor expectation: a war blockbuster, akin to Tora! Tora! Tora! Reality: a love triangle interrupted by the December 7th attacks

At Eurovision Song Contest there was a singer with Tourette. He went by the name TIX, meaning "tics" in Norwegian, that being the mocking nickname he was called in school, and his main tic was having eye twitches. During his performance on the song Fallen Angel he took off his sunglasses and displayed his tics to the audience.

"...and I'm dreading the day I review that." The day came.

Great timing with this, “Bennifer” has allegedly been seen on vacation together.

"It's turkey time. Gobble gobble". I don't even think Gonzo would be turned on by that.

a movie so awful, it officially killed the director's once-promising career, and made him disappear for good

I just want to say a big THANK YOU for your speech about Tourette’s and Hollywood. I have two kids with Tourette’s and neither exhibit corporalia (uncontrollable cursing). In fact, less than 20% of all people with Tourette’s have that particular tic. And yeah, it gets annoying how the syndrome is portrayed in the media. I myself was contacted by a talk show many years ago that wanted my daughter to appear on an episode about kids with Tourette’s. In the small print was a mandate: no meds for at least a week prior to the show. They literally wanted parents to stop giving medications to a child that were prescribed as necessary by a doctor just so their kids can be stared at on daytime tv. No thanks. Anyhoo, thanks again for setting the record straight rather than go for the cheap laugh. It’s appreciated.

I'm completely convinced that, had this movie been released in the version Martin Brest intended, not only would this review be about From Justin to Kelly, and rightly so, but Gigli's nomination spot would have been occupied by Uwe Böll's House of the Dead.

This and Jack & Jill were Al Pacino’s worst life choices!

12:10 “After all that whining, she finally decides to sleep with him!” I mean, it “worked” in Attack of the Clones a year prior...

I remember reading at the time that this film only became a romantic comedy when the studio decided to re-edit it to take advantage of the Bennifer thing.

My take...bear in mind that while I am bisexual and have some experience with how the LGBT community can work, I'm not a woman, so this is still somewhat coming from an outsider's perspective: Chasing Amy has problems, but from the plot and real-life inspiration behind the script, it's kind of implied that Alyssa is bisexual, prefers women to men and finds it easier to identify as a lesbian than bi. The idea that you're either gay or straight and need to "pick one" still shows up in the gay community, never mind outside of it, to this day. I can't imagine the 90s were better on that front. So I can believe that a woman who mostly dates women in the 90s would either find it easier to identify as a lesbian than bisexual or not realize that bisexuality exists. Kevin Smith kind of muddied the waters by bringing in his own life experiences, which don't include the context necessary to tell this story properly, but I don't get the sense from Chasing Amy that Affleck "converted" her. Just that a very good film about relationships, unrequited love and insecurity got turned into a rather messier film thanks to the inclusion of script elements from a lesbian's life experiences that don't fully mesh with the unrequited love stuff. ...I absolutely get that sense from Gigli.

"It's turkey time" line has stuck with me for years. It is just so STUPID that I feel better about myself knowing I haven't said that sh*t

Me: I have this really important final essay that I really need to crack down on. *sees notification. Me: I mean, maybe this essay isn't THAT important.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?” Yes. It’s Smeghead time.

You could just feel Sean's disappointment as soon as the video starts. I feel so bad for Martin Brest. He helped Eddie Murphy become a legend and got Al Pacino his first Oscar. It sucks that the studio heavily interfered with making the film. I really hope we get to see the original version one day. It wasted Christopher Walken and Al Pacino completely. Love how Sean doesn't care about Gigli's name. I felt so bad for Justin Bartha. He was great as Riley in National Treasure. The turkey time dialogue will live on infamy.

The difference between Gigli and The Room; as inept as it was, I found The Room incredibly entertaining. Gigli didn't even get that far. They had an amazing cast, gorgeous art direction and a huge budget...and still managed to shit the bed. Like, Taco Bell diarrhea all fucking over it. The only movie that I can compare with it on a technical level is Max Payne, which suffered the same issues, including garbage dialog. The Room, however, is an absolute classic of trash cinema and damn, is it ever hilarious.

Also - From Justin to Kelly would be a slam dunk any other year, IMO.

Posted on the same day Bennifer is rumored back! How’s that for synchronicity!?!?

Honestly I feel like the Cat in the Hat is worse than this, if only because I can kind of see what this is going for but fails to achieve.

"Guess what? It's OVERTIME!" -Catwoman- Wait for June....

This was timed absolutely fantastically with the spreading news of their reunion.

For someone who graduated in 2003, you look great!

I actually always saw Chasing Amy as a Bi awakening story... Either way, I get why people had an issue with it, but I still like it

House of the Dead came out in 2003, and that didn’t get one Razzie nomination.

Maybe it’s because I’m from a dentist family but ... Damn Sean has really nice teeth! I notice it in every video 😂

Surprised this wasn't saved for use as a Thanksgiving Special

Have not watched this yet, but all I will say is GOBBLE GOBBLE

12:50 Okay, my jaw dropped. My jaw ACTUALLY dropped upon hearing that line.

21:55 It sounds like what from what you're saying that there is actually a good movie buried deep down (probably in the footage that was cut) but studio interference hampered what could have been a solid film with a strong message.

"It's Smeghead time. Gobble gobble."

I actually remember when "probably a local call" was a thing, though it might have been specific to my area. The DC area was odd at the time for having 3 area codes in close proximity. 202 (DC), 703 (Northern Virginia), 301 (all of Maryland). The 3 area codes were all local calls, but only to a point. Baltimore would be long distance (or IIRC "extended local" - cheaper than calling California or whatever, but not free.) Anyway, if you were calling, like, Columbia MD from Virginia, it was sort of a gray area where it might be a free call, or you might be charged 50 cents or something. Maybe LA had similar situations?

I kept calling this film Gigi in my head for years. XD

I think Gigli got the Razzie due to its higher-profile nature than The Room, its larger budget, and the clear waste of talent involved. The expectations for Martin Brest and Sony were much higher than for Tommy Wiseau and friends.

This movie is important in that it proves that there is no woman so physically attractive that bad dialogue and narcissism can't make her wholly unappealing. On second thought, this is just one of many Jennifer Lopez films that prove that point.

Which is Worst "Musical" of Our First 25 Years? Xanadu Rhinestone From Justin to Kelly Glitter Can’t stop the music Spice World

That this review premieres in the same week that "Bennifer" reunites is almost kismet.

If I had a nickel for every time Ben Affleck was in a movie which the studio changed because the director's vision was too dark and the studio wanted something lighter, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but its weird that it happened twice.

Finally a movie that the Nostalgia Critic hasn't even touched yet

How ironic this comes out now and the tabloids are speculating that Ben & JLo are getting back together.

I remember you said in your Cat in the Hat review you were going to tear this film apart one day and ten years later you finally did it!

Sean learned he was right dreading to review Gigli because the movie has a nonsensical plot, reused the romance plot from Chasing Amy, has other issues including the awful lines It’s turkey time.” “Gobble Gobble.”

17:41 And I thought Jack & Jill was the biggest mistake of Al Pachino’s career.

I don't care what Mr. Smeghead wants - RELEASE THE GIGGITY-CUT!

16:10 "Mr Quan Chi..." A Mortal Kombat reference... Respect 😅

I was almost hoping the whole video would just be you staring into the camera, as if to say no.

Oh boy 3 AM! He's back!

Also, trying to compare Gigli to Chasing Amy is an insult to Chasing Amy; yes I know some people have brought up some problems with the movie recently but even my friends who are lesbians love Chasing Amy and just cringe at Gigli(save for Al Pacino’s performance; they loved that too)

I think you are WAAAY too generous to Gigli here. This isn't a movie, it's a crime against humanity. Definitely one of the top 5 most painful films I have ever sat through.

I really hope Al Pacino wasn’t ever an admissions counselor. - “You wanna go to Harvard?” - “Harvard?” * Boom! *

The long-awaited review

You forgot about the whole “Bull - Cow” Banter from it.

Always happy to see your stuff pop up but at 3 in the morning? Nah, just kidding. Totally watching this!

Now we take a look at the movie that beat “The Cat in the Hat,” for Worst Picture of 2003. 23:02 And to think that Sony wanted to make 2 more sequels to “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” before we got the 2019 reboot.

RE: the "Chasing Amy" segment - you HAD to have a goatee in the '90's. It was the law. Also, it amuses me how goatees were the trendy facial hair in the 90's, and now I mostly associate them with paunchy middle-aged guys in MAGA hats and Oakleys. Guess that's how the Candlebox and Better Than Ezra fans ended up.

This movie is to Chasing Amy what Death of a Nation is to Moonlight

And now they're back together, all lines up

I offer my most sincere apology to any poor soul that saw this movie.

Midnight Run is the best action/comedy ever made. It’s a shame Hollywood treated Martin Brest like some hack for hire

In a parallel universe I can imagine this movie being some sort of dark comedy that sends up the alpha male-ness of gangster movies... you know, if it wasn’t badly meddled with by TPTB and didn’t have cringeworthy dialogue, and of course the awful “turn the gays straight” trope and its problematic depiction of Tourette’s. What’s the next movie after this? (Checks Wikipedia) UHOH...

so our main plot centers around our main character kidnapping a mentally challenged man from a home for financial reasons this is just rain man all over again

"Oh hey, look at the time. I should be heading to bead" *Sees a new upload from Smeghead* "On second thought....."

You have a great "I regret everything" face.

I made myself wait to watch when I was more awake...this is my work treat.

Chasing Amy explicitly makes it clear that JLA was playing a bisexual woman, because...fingercuffs.

ITS FINALLY HERE!!!

Sean’s “it’s just not FAIRRRR” made me bust my gut laughing 😂😂😂

I know one woman, who to most people she is a lesbian, but my wife and I know she is bi, the reason she just says lesbian is because of a lot of issues she's had with jerk guys, before ultimately marrying a woman, she thought letting guys she liked believe she was a lesbian (I don't think she ever lied) and coming out as bi once she decided they were not the same the assholes she dated before. But that's probably a minority of a minority of people, and I doubt that's how Jigalo was written. I appreciate that you're doing the Razzies, but I feel like we could use a bit of a break when you get to something you've already done, or at least a two fer, give us a five minute revisit, what it won to and do the next one. I just want to get to new bad movies again.

Amy in "Chasing Amy" is clearly bisexual. She has an extensive sexual history that includes both genders. Saying that Chasing Amy is about a straight guy who makes a lesbian go straight mischaracterizes the film. Amy goes back to a woman at the end, anyway.

Do I have a final tomorrow... Yes... Worth it. Sleep and final can wait dang it

I forgot about "gobble, gobble"... how do I forget again?

Yes!!! New video! Unfortunately it's 5pm. I'll wait until later and snuggle up tonight with it.

As bad as The Room was, at least I could find enjoyment out of watching, especially with friends, but I can’t say the same about Gigli. This movie was a chore for me to sit through. I had to take several breaks from watching it because of how bad the dialogue was, especially from that turkey line!

I remember I managed to convince my parents to rent this movie from blockbuster. It was me, my mother and my sister watching, while my dad was in the next room on the computer. As the movie progressed first my sister left, then my mother. Eventually even my dad came out and yelled at me because he couldn't stand hearing this awful dialogue.

Who plays the role of Oh hi Mark. I lost it xD

I remember being puzzled when this came out: as you say, most reviews didn't really go into detail as to why it was bad, just that it was bad. A hate-on for Affleck & Lopez certainly didn't help the movie, but it does deserve the criticism. With the bizarre tone choices (and tone shifts), plotting and dialogue passages, not to mention the slack pacing, it feels almost like a student film that happens to star A-listers. Regarding Chasing Amy, that criticism of it has always puzzled me: Affleck's character THINKS he's turned a lesbian straight, but freaks out when he learns she's bisexual and has been involved with men before. Did all the people who claim it's about a guy who converts a lesbian just take an extra long bathroom break during the second half of the film? With all respect to The Room, I've seen one film from 2003 that's even worse: The Singing Forest. It's about a guy who becomes convinced that his daughter's fiance is a reincarnation of his past life's gay lover (both of them having died in the Holocaust). I'm not giving too much away here, since all that is coughed up in a big expositional speech at the very start of the film. That his daughter's name is Destiny just adds to the eye-rolls. I haven't seen a worse film from that entire decade, much less that year.

Congratulations on the best-timed video release of all time.

22:48 back in 2003 I was 8 years old my grandma took me and my sister to see this movie the thing was so bad the film projector had broke down so she took us to Family Video instead. (RIP Family Video)

You were putting it off...and we've all been waiting for the payoff of your suffering. Thank you for your service.

don't tell me, your 2nd look at Catwoman is next?! bring it on!

And ironically, The Disaster Artist was a FAAAARRR better movie than The Room; kinda like that documentary about Troll 2 and how that was far better than the actual movie(but, I have a soft spot for Troll 2 and is proudly on my list of “so bad, it’s great” movies)

What a coincidence, I was just watching a fan made trailer for Zack Snyder’s Justice League 2 and 3, and a review of a Ben Affleck movie pops up in my notifications!

My dad is a big fan of Chasing Amy and gets super mad if anyone calls it homophobic saying they don't understand (or haven't seen) it. I haven't seen it myself so I can't really weigh in. But according to my dad the main "lesbian" character in Chasing Amy never calls herself that and says she doesn't like to define her sexuality using labels. Again I haven't seen it so I don't know what to think. Is it a heterosexist fantasy about a man turning a lesbian straight? Or is everyone who claims that just being biphobic (unfortunately lesbians don't always support their bisexual brothers and sisters)? But I'd like to think that anyone gay, bisexual, or straight would have better taste than to date Ben Affleck.

i've been enjoying your videos for years

Although "Gigli" was Martin Brest's final American feature as an filmmaker but he had made an healthy comeback as one of the producers for the 2017 funniest remake of "Going in Style" with Michael Caine, Alan Arkin, Ann-Margret, Matt Dillon and Morgan Freeman under Zach Braff's top-notch direction for Warner Bros., a Time Warner Entertainment Company. Like the director's original sleeper hit from 1979, but this remake was even much more funnier and it was very successful at the box office. More than any other hit film in the history of Time Warner.

I love the recurring joke about mispronouncing the name Jiggly/Jigglypuff/Giggedy/Quan Chi/Jiminy. And I have not seen all of The Room, but The Nostalgia Critic's review of it is enough.

Wanted to review this! Considering Bennifer is happening again this is timely! Next time Catwoman re-review!