Cities: Skylines - The Road to Hell 

Some youtubers make a dick because they think its funny. Jon just made one because his perception is so low he didn't realize it was happening.

I guess you could say the road system was a giant cock-up.

"I don't wanna do that (very efficient and cheap thing) because then my (expensive and unecessary) bypass would be pointless!" Keep that up and the government might hire you, Jon!

Jon perception level: Only checks 2/5 road tabs before declaring there is no three-lane road.

"What I am going to do is build two schools and under-fund both of them." Oh Jon you understand the American education system so well.

*at shopping area* Kid: Mom, can we go home now? Mom: Yeah, I'm getting tired, lets go! *proceeds to have to drive all the way out of town, and back around to get back home.* Kid: Mom, I forgot my toy at the store Mom: Oh no. *They proceed to have to drive to the store, and back out of town, and then back in again* Mom: Finally, I can go to bed *phone rings* Dad: My car is broken down, can you come pick me up? Mom: *tear slides down her face* Yes... *picks up dad, drives out of town, back in, misses turn* Mom: Why must these be one way streets *repeat* Mom: I'm going to bed One way roads, magnificent.

Also Jon, a simple way to fix the road system: 2-way roads. Magic I know.

Jon's -1 perception strikes again, all he had to do to solve the road problem was connect the left main road to the right main road, but screw the simple solution.

Move to beautiful Las Jon - where all the roads are one way and you have to drive all the way out of town, onto the highway, right back off it, and back through town just to get to a place down the street from your house!

Jon - Your road system makes me think that you should stick to baking.

Jon spends a minute trying to find out the flow of the water and then puts the sewage upstream which means if he puts a water pump anywhere it will just pump up sewage........

The red circle Jon is not power, its noise. It shows you how far a noise radius goes that will likely effect property desirability

*Defunds water infrastructure* Oh no! People aren't getting enough water! *Builds a new water pump instead of refunding water infrastructure*

Jon. I love you. But HOW did you not see that an entire city in a one-way road loop would be an issue? HOW, Jon. My heart hurts. And I have a weird urge to go rearrange all my cupboards and sort my closet by colour and season, just to restore my sense of order in the world.

John: I'm gonna make the best most efficient road system and future proof my city Also John: ONE WAY IN ONE WAY OUT

25:44 I like how he didn't even question why a truck carrying wood was headed for a fish stick factory.

He likes round-a-bouts so much that he made his city into one.

To everyone pointing out that jon's road system doesn't make sense, remember that he lives in London. Given the spidery shape of old european cities, this is probably actually a step up XD

i was really hoping youd name your city jonstantanople

What kind of maniac would build a city entirely based around one way streets?!

This is going to be painful to watch...

Surely you are doing this to us on purpose. You literally started putting the correct solution to the road situation in, then backpedaled and undid it because it was too logical and would render the bridge obsolete xD

Jon: "I misread the arrows indicating the flow of the water." So in your universe the arrows indicate the flow by using the flat bit as the direction it is flowing *towards* instead of the pointy bit? Wow! That really must be an interesting universe you are living in.

8:22 that's a very ummm pointed design you have there Jon. The new Richard meadows residential area is coming...along nicely.

this whole town requires you to leave, go back on the highway, loop back around, and reenter the city every time you want to go anywhere and back.

I was waiting for Jon to realize what he made the road network look like,that made my day.

"Education is very important!" says Jon. Immediately cuts the budget in half.

This is the most ill-conceived road system I've ever seen. I love it.

Jon, use brain. What kind of town (Yes town) has a 3-way lane that goes into it? Such things usually come in cities, and you are spoiled to have one, no, 2, as the people come in and out of the town.

Yes, it was about time we spent some time fixing up our cities in detail.. Will you do Ourhouse first ?

Just transform the one-way streets into, wait dor it... "TWO" way streets! Tadaaa! and all your problems will disapear.

Perception -1, confirmed.

12:50 in, I give up on all hope I had. Switching to laughing at all mistakes mode.

Watching this gives my OCD some weird tingling sensation of frustration and admiration.

My story: >Interest in _Total War: Rome II_ >Want gameplay. >Steam forums recommend MATN. >I watch his Rome I series. >I feel stupid because Jon is amazing and I'm terrible at Rome I. >Jon releases _Medieval II_. >I feel stupid because Jon is amazing at Medieval II >This goes on with several game series. >Jon releases _Cities: Skylines_ video. >Says he's new to _Cities: Skylines_ . >I have 1 400 hours in _Cities: Skylines_. The student has become the master... *Now Jon:* Try to basically plan your city out a bit, not like micro designs and diagrams, just have this in the back of your head: *Your city should have a 3-layer approach to the RCI.* The Highway should cut off into 3 parts, one for Residential, one for Commercial, and one for Industrial. They can only get off and on using that main highway, or, ideally, have an entrance and a separate exit. So it would be: _Man goes from A to B,_ and not *_A and caught in the middle of C and gets delayed for 2 hours until he can finally reach B_* It's what I'd recommend. Good luck! Looking forward to it!

"I read the arrows the wrong way round." As we all know, water flows up estuaries ;)

Just stopped watching "I put spongebob music over North Koreans marching" for this... it better be good.

" This road network will never screw me over in the future "

Oh these roads. Jon, who hurt you?

Just finished writing my essay about MATN and noticed this. This feels like a reward. So happy to see you play this game! :)

'Zeebras' No Jon, it's 'Zedbras'! 10 British points removed.

omg this was amazing. especially that industry... I lost it at zebra incineration hahahaha goddamnit Jon! there's only 1 episode and i'm already addicted!

24:30 "Windmills do not work that way!! GOOD NIGHT!!!" -Morbo

Cities: Skyline - A series of unfortunate events

Las Jon overpasses: the bridge ballast of urban planning!

PogChamp Also, due to that abomination of a road you made, I will be voting against you in the next mayoral election.

23:23 'You are not out of water, No, you've got plenty of water, shut up! You're fine.' Jon customer service at it's finest

43:33 Throws down wind turbine even though he has enough money for a coal power plant. Brilliant Jon, brilliant.

Honestly I love this video. I come back to it from time to time to just watch it. Something about it just is nice and relaxing for me. Thanks for making it Jon.

"Oh no, I don't wanna do that, that's a better solution than the one I just employed!" What is the... what 0.0

Jon and Cities:Skylines...what an awesome combination!

'Jon the builder'

So happy Jon don't draw road maps. One wrong turn and you have to drive around the whole town to to get back.

NOOO JON! THAT IS NOT WHAT THE RED CIRCLE MEANS!

Has Jon ever played Tropico? Because I really want to see him play Tropico

You have to leave the town and go onto the highway to go from industry to your home. I love it.

A man with a Perception of 1 doesn't make the best major

Man, Jon really cares for his citizens. Even the road layout it ribbed for their pleasure

>>demonstrates he knows how to use tabs >>proceeds to ignore the existence of tabs 10/10

I doubt that anyone has ever uttered the phrase, "excess zebra incineration" before this. This is the kind of thing I'm subscribed for.

Man... all the oil corporations and executives must LOVE you! You literally have to drive through the entire city to get anywhere.

8:25 - I wonder: "how long will it take him to realize people can leave their home but never go back?......20:30: well at least he's being consistent........... 29.30 : there's the lightbulb. Congratulations, Jon."

Glad to see you playing one of my fav games. Look forward to watching this series unfold.

The bridges didn't fix the system for the industries at the end. Also, I noticed the problem with the sewage pump straight away. I knew it'd be funny later in the video, and I was right.

I think Jon is playing this game perfectly. Wait, let me elaborate .... Jon is playing this game perfectly....IF it was a series on how *not to play* Cities Skylines. The number of things he gets wrong, or misunderstands, would make an almost comprehensive list of how not to play the game....

Its been ages since Jon has done one of these miniseries. I loved Sim City 4 and the Roller Coaster Tycoon series, its a nice way to break up the long running stuff.

jon builds a network of one way roads all flowing in one direction, doesnt realize it means if you drove to your neighbors house 2 houses down you have to drive around the entire town, out of the city, down the highway, then back into town. Really cocked up that road system jon. Never change lol wow. hes made a road system that makes it faster to walk a all the way across town for work vs driving...

"What I'm going to do, is I'm going to build two schools and under-fund both of them!" Sounds like the education systems in most places I've lived.

A three lane road coming off an interstate all of a sudden turning into a two lane road? What could go wrong?

it would be more fun if you had to start off scruffy. your first housing would be trailer parks and your first businesses would be flea markets, thrift stores, liquor stores, and such. your starting industries would be slaughterhouses and paper mills. of course, you'd have the option to get quick cash by attracting gambling and strip clubs. i've just described a good bit of rural america.

lmao Jon if someone wants to get to any of those stores, because you made it all one way roads. they have to leave town go down the highway, exit at the next exit and turn around go back down the highway just to get back home. like a 30 min trip just to go to the store. best setup ever. inconvenience everyone who lives in your town dramatically lol

"Laaaas Jon" not "Lass Jon". Think of Las vegas.

Does this mean every ones favorite nerd is going to be playing Hearts of Iron and Europa..? Would love to see a EU4 custom nation playthrough as "the free people's republic of John"

Rollercoaster and Simcity are among my favourite series on the channel, so I'm really excited for this one!

Las Jon? You don't get how spanish city names, work do you Jon. Las Jon is "the multiple feminine Jon" it makes no sense. It should be El Juan (the Jon), or Los Juanes (the Jons), or La Ciudad De Juan (the city of Jon/Jon's city).

Jon's perception at it againm. Literally puts down a wind turbine the moment he can afford a coal fired power station that he was waiting for

been waiting so long to see you tackle this game =D

You can replace roads with different types of the same road size (eg. two lane one way, two lane one way in the other direction, and 2 lane 2 way can all be swapped between) for free with the exclamation point tool in the left middle. The three lane one way road is a freeway, it's the 2rd tab from the right in the road building thingy.

this will be frustrating to watch. I like it.

Wants to build power station, Builds windmill as soon as power station can be afforded :P

Jon, defunding city services doesn't just affect their max capacity, it also reduces their range. The clinic isn't treating anyone because there's no money to buy petrol for the ambulances!

"I'm just going to 'slightly extend your watering pipes' "

Well, Jon, later on, you can unlock Districts, and you can zone a District over Industrial areas and make them Specialize in *Forestry, Agriculture*, Oil and Mining. The former two are pollution free. *_Just use the resource menu_* (has an icon of 3 little green rocks) *_and see if there are resources for that type of industry._*

In this episode, Jon demonstrates to us why England's road network is the way that it is.

Jon, the red thingie around the wind turbine was how far the noise pollution would go, not the power. The power is the green circle.

Highways (three-lane one-side roads) are in the highways tab. There are four settings (filling, big paintbrush, small paintbrush, and selecting a big ol' square) for painting areas. And you need to close the ring that is right off the highway, because now residents have to go outside the city limits to come back from work.

I like how if you want to leave the industry section you have to leave town completely. Very efficient Jon XD

You seriously have to manage pipes and shit..... That's...... FUCKING BADASS!!!!!

I think carving your eyes out with an ice-cream spoon is slightly less painful than watching Jon building roads.

Ah, the good old spare zebra factory :D

Ok, Jon is about to play one of my favorite games.... Preparing to scream at the monitor about traffic flow optimizations.

This needs to become a major series... please make San Jon into the bustling megacity that it is destined to be!

It's really nice, if something is already zoned say residential and you want to zone commercial you can just draw over the residential and the free area you want as commercial and it won't overwrite the residential.

So, 11 minutes in... I'm already in pain because Jon though the noise population radius was the "I'll give these places free power" radius. I'm now dreading the next 40 minutes of my life

JON!!! you can convert your industry area into a forestry or farmland zone that produces no pollution, preferably forestry because it's right next to a jungle.

Wow. Nerd^3 did his cities... Much better. I'm surprised to be honest. You come off as the more... Knowledgeable of the two of you. This is fucking hilarious.

In case no one has told you yet, districts can be used to change what kind of industry it is. You can make all sorts of industry, including ones that are good for the environment, like forestry, but if you do make a forestry industry make sure you have good fire coverage first.

Only 5 years late, but its finally time to watch this small series.

"Fixed the traffic system" >.>

Zee-brah? You slowly going amerkin? Love the nightmare one-way system you've created for a hamlet :)