Co-Founder Conflict & Why I Quit my Startup | How to Fix a Dying Company | Founder’s Journey: Ep.2

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Co-founder disputes are the No. 1 early startup killer, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Learn how success masks conflict, how too little AND too much conflict create an issue, and how to ACTUALLY get help and SAVE your company.
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1:05 How Success Masks Co-Founder Conflict
1:42 Too Little Conflict
4:14 The Four Horsemen
5:49 Too Much Conflict
10:47 Solution Get Help!
I’m Garry Tan, venture capitalist and founder at Initialized Capital. We were earliest investors in billion dollar startups like Coinbase and Instacart, and I’m a Forbes Midas List Top 100 venture capitalist in the world. We want these videos to be about helping people build world-class teams and startups that touch a billion people. Our startups have gone on to create more than $40 billion in market value so far, and Initialized has over $770M in assets under management.
Please like this video and subscribe to my channel if you want to see more videos like this!
Find me on Instagram where I can answer your startup advice questions by DM -
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30 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 210

@henrykwan1932 3 года назад

Garry, the reason why you couldn't sleep is cause you left your glasses on

@GarryTan 3 года назад

HAHAHA omg

@elrosspangue7443 3 года назад

😹😹

@slimmette 3 года назад

Lolol

@henrykwan1932 Год назад

Hey Garry, hope you see this. I just sent you a message on LinkedIn

@selloselomo6998 11 месяцев назад

@@GarryTan3:58

@gerard_donnelly 3 года назад

"How did you become such a good leader?” someone asked Nelson Mandela. “Because I learned to speak last,” Mandela succinctly replied. Listening and letting others know you've taken on board what they've said is such a good trait. If you disagree, the fact that they know you understand their point of view is often enough to avoid a conflict.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Absolutely. Great point

@vanhelsing4454 3 года назад

I just commented to feed the youtube algorithm 😁

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Legend!

@vanhelsing4454 3 года назад

@@GarryTan your videos are really helpful 🙂

@hdhdushsvsyshshshs 3 года назад

X2 🧐

@motelejesuolamilekan1950 3 года назад

RU-vid algorithm here..just found and swallowed you👀

@psykonauta 3 года назад

Yeah!

@TheLastCodebender 3 года назад

1:19 when he said "And when my business needed me and my cofounder the most" I thought he would follow up with "we vanished" (Avatar reference 😂)

@jefftatarchuk 5 месяцев назад

So good! My co-founders and I use a tool called the JAR (Judgments, Assumptions, Resentment). It's a safe space for us to share anything that might be in our JAR to share and get clarity from the rest of the team and be able to sort through it no matter how small or embarrassing it might be. We were growing so fast in the beginning that we needed these types of meetings regularly. Now it's sporadically but still necessary.

@MrGeorgeCheng 3 года назад

Investor: Do you have too much or too little conflict with your cofounder? Founder: Both.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Haha this is so true.

@this.is.lapc506 3 года назад

Depends on who you ask.

@naki6355 3 года назад

This is hilariously accurate. More often than not, it's too little conflict in the large, key decisions and too much conflict with the lower priority tasks.

@TheLastCodebender 3 года назад

I have a heard a good analogy once, finding a cofounder is like marriage. Except you will spend more time with them than with your spouse, so take the time to choose wisely.

@WordsPictures997 3 года назад

Garry YOU ARE SUCH A GIFT! Thank you so much for this. I really needed this. You've just called me out in such a helpful way in business and my personal life. Thank you Sir!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

You are so welcome

@AverageAngel 3 года назад

It seems our society is now conflict avoidant. I wonder how that’s going to affect relationships

@GarryTan 3 года назад

It’s not good to be sure

@mirhasanzade7383 3 года назад

Summing up whole content: The key is communication!

@Sankids 3 года назад

I’m starting my first company at 27 in Thailand and your videos are my guidebook. Thanks man!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Best of luck!

@abhiglad 3 года назад

Thanks for this video. I think a management lesson that founders need to learn is how to manage communication and conflict. A key lesson I learnt during an Organizational behavior class is to a) Have an open communication and address conflict for a relationship that matters, b) Avoid conflict if the relationship doesn’t matter in the long term. The issue with conflict avoidance is that it leads to bad precedent and organization going down a wrong path and setting harmful cultural practice. I love that you brought this to fore. Thanks for a critical conflict management lesson.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you for watching and for your thoughtful comment Abhishek!

@foodforyourbrainphyophyoaung 3 года назад

I used to have this issues with my co founder.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

I think the trick is to always have the *right amount* of conflict in the *right way* :-)

@ghaffarellis 3 года назад

I had to watch this twice, thank you.

@n8style 3 года назад

your videos are so good, they're gold dust, thank you for making them

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you for watching!

@tabish10 3 года назад

For algo

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for the help!

@tabish10 3 года назад

@@GarryTan Garry, What your opinion on the future of content creators. Will they be remembered forever? Will the charm of 1M subs/1M follow stay forever? Have a video on it

@wunder1385 3 года назад

I've seen you on the clubhouse thing with Elon!

@dominicwood3750 6 месяцев назад

I don’t see the infatuation with needing a founding team. In business there’s always one person at the top.

@Wj3399 3 года назад

This is valuable, thanks Garry! Finding a cofounder sounds like starting a startup within a startup, just as much risk, execution, and high chance of failure. Would you advise a solo founder to seek out a cofounder if no one comes in mind, or continue going solo if the task juggling is not a problem? Thanks again!

@jacquib256 Год назад

Did he reply as I’m in same position

@AbielZulioM 3 года назад

The fact that I love Garry Tan's channel so much is because he provided an English sub, which is helping me a lot to learn many new perspectives about startups. Love from Indonesia, keep up the excellent work, Garry!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@ericllam 3 года назад

I was skeptical clicking on this video but this is really good advice, having been in a 4 person founding team for 7 years now

@lunchroomballer 3 года назад

The type of video I flag to rewatch every few weeks

@cupertinosteve4771 3 года назад

Thank you Garry. You’re such a great storyteller ... you experience, you reflect, you distill and you share. Such generosity. For me, I do have a company I run ... but every time you say “startup”, I hear “the startup of me” ... I just hear life lessons that are universal and lead to a meaningful life. It’s not just what you ... but how you do it, why you do it and who you do it with. Thank you.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you for your kind note

@Aavanth88 3 года назад

This hit the spot. Thank you. I recall these days from my own startup. We were 4 co-founders and two (majority shareholders) were going head to head all the time in the early days of the company. Everything was going well, we were making money, however, the future became so uncertain due to this conflict. At one point I proposed to moderate the conflict as a third party, after months of witnessing the conflict I knew that I was not able to outsmart them, but I could outcalm them. My sole focus became, offset the flow of panic between them, and the best way of doing this was through active listening and vicarious embodiment - trying to put myself in their space so that the other party had to listen through a vessel. It was by far the hardest part of my job but it worked. Sometimes the hardest discussions require the least amount of words, we have since made it a policy that all conflicts between executives are to be moderated by a third party. We call them empathy advisors and their only job is to offset flow of panic and outcalm parties when they become too heated.

@quixfilmz3409 3 года назад

Reminds me of Mythbusters. Look up the relationship between Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage. While not friends, the things they achieved in the show are incredible

@TheAChal147 3 года назад

Good insight Garry. I haven't experienced any of these yet with my co-founder, less than a year in, but I'm glad I have some tools to identify red flags now.

@will-ye 3 года назад

Binge watching your videos before I quit my job at Amazon to join Cohere lol

@helixquar 3 года назад

The great thing about your content is even though they are framed in the context of a startup, a lot of concepts also apply to a lot of other things. This video is basically love/relationship advice.

@godwinhschan 3 года назад

Such an important message to get out there. I've already made the mistake of being conflict-avoidant in one of my earlier ventures, so these are some great tips to keep in mind moving forward.

@tirtoadji 3 года назад

Garry, thanks for delivering such great content, as always. How's your relationship with your ex-cofounder now? Do you still communicate? Are you guys still friends?

@GarryTan 3 года назад

We are good now

@couragecoachsam 3 года назад

So much of what you say is what my wife and I talk about with our clients. A sometimes advantage to our clients, entrepreneurial couples, is that they’ve already committed themselves to each other

@subijoyacharya3189 3 года назад

I know you were upset but who sleeps with specs on bed?

@jayeshjadhav3575 3 года назад

What your view on solopreneur?

@barrywinata 3 года назад

Great job on another valuable and cerebral video. Your insight into foundership and funding is priceless. I'm a founding engineer and part-time Angel here in SV with startup experience and thinking of now making the shift into investing and the VC world. Your insights are helping me bridge that gap.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for your kind words Barry!

@raulcame3880 3 года назад

This subject personally cannot be stressed enough... We are a young startup and I follow the 5Dysfunctions of a team religiously and even then conflict falls through the crack because I now know why ... I don’t confront them enough... Big Thanks Garry!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Good luck Alfred!

@dogarumarius3490 3 года назад

One of the most insightful videos I have seen in a long while. Brilliant work! Keep these coming - I absolutely love your style & your way of thinking.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Awesome, thank you!

@rupjolly 3 года назад

Great video as usual. I think every company like you said has some form of cofounder conflict. Building companies is tough with lots of pressure, sometimes our ideal selves don't always show up. I think you nailed it. More often than not, we don't get help and everyone suffers as a result. Thanks for bringing up the coaching piece

@jaiv 3 года назад

Make a video about Clubhouse! I've seen you in some conversations with some very influential people and I'm curious what you're doing there (I'm sure others are too)!

@prakash_77 3 года назад

Making sure I watch all post-roll ads in this video to support Code2040. Might I suggest to change the "http" to "https". HTTPS Everywhere blocks by default. Thank you.

@ketnaa 3 года назад

Some amazing and (for me) revelatory insights. Thank you!

@andrewdunyo7427 3 года назад

Gary, thank you so much for this. You are like a guardian angel.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@stevekiarie2001 3 года назад

Great insights. Really appreciated. You've made me see the four horsemen in a new way. 🙏

@einmann3252 3 года назад

As a tech entrepreneur I find your videos very valuable. Do you have a podcast? I would really like to listen through while doing something else. Thanks man.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

I don't

@Sanjeed 3 года назад

Thanks for the insights and for being really honest here ❤️

@sandboxes 3 года назад

This is exactly one of the issues with first startup. And loved the call out to Gottman! Has helped in my marriage, and would have been so useful in my cofounder relationship :) Thank you for sharing these videos!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@BeeRich33 3 месяца назад

Looks like I'm closing my startup. My friend/partner simply doesn't get it. And he's taking it personally.

@a9xz 3 года назад

Great Video! The Information Is Crystal Clear, Cut's Straight Within Any Fluff.

@jasoneks 3 года назад

Hi Gary, another great video 👍 especially the intro, i didnt know you act well 😁 👍🙏

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Haha too kind

@MinimalDuck 3 года назад

Just listened to you on Clubhouse and totally relate with you! I just started on RU-vid Jan 1st.

@whenbluooo Год назад

As a co-founder, am I a bad guy if I walked away because I don't believe this business will be profitable. I need to leave the other co-founders behind

@jamesclerkmaxwell8020 Год назад

I have a secret formula to avoid all co-founder conflict. Being a solo founder. The dispute between opposing ideas may still be there, but in your head only

@ChiCho1400 3 года назад

Brilliant advice as always. Thank you Garry!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you!

@himanshikushwahach7817 10 месяцев назад

2:18 ..here we go....exactly no matter how good things u want to keep in your startup..not choosing the correct co-founder will always ruin it

@ibrand23 3 года назад

Such an important point to work on these skills when things are going well and avoiding avoidance, this doesn't get talked about enough. Also, healthier to work on it when you are sober, not in the heat of the moment. Love the stories from experiences... so helpful!

@МаркоКраљевић-ю5р 3 года назад

Hey Garry you were on that controversial clubhouse call. How it went? How did you get invite?

@GarryTan 3 года назад

I'm out of invites - the call was kind of mind blowing!

@МаркоКраљевић-ю5р 3 года назад

@@GarryTan No you got me wrong, I did not want an invite. I was just curious how did you get the invite. And on which side you were on. xD

@AlexLectures 3 года назад

"When the business needed me and my co-founder the most... we vanished" ;)

@sitifazlinfasha3624 Год назад

Honestly, I try to listen to them and tolerate but it's been 2 years and I'm done with it. It's all about their problems, how it is hard for them. 2 years is not enough then another year will never be enough.

@ebrahimmoamer9198 3 года назад

Thank you Garry for the really priceless content and videos you create. It is really hard to miss one.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@alvinguzman4756 Год назад

Gary, you mentioned owner a few times. By owner did you mean the main founder? Or the one who started it all and invited the co founders of the start-up?

@taylorkaplan2614 3 года назад

What if you find out your co-founder is trying to transfer IP from your co-founded company to their own personal company?

@gungunaremusic5988 3 года назад

Garry learning acting too 😀🤘

@DerDudelino 3 года назад

Man, your video quality is crazy good. Could you maybe show how you shoot and especially light your videos? Would be super helpful.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Oh sure my gear list is kit.co/garrytan

@motyar 3 года назад

Title of this video should be *How to save your marriage*

@yeeboy217 3 года назад

thank you for sharing this; this video came to me in an extremely relevvant time, I started a little company/ business with a friend in december of last year... and a lot of these conflict questions and misalignment in vision between founders has been cropping up. I'm not sure what the future holds, but this video gave me good framework for what questions to be asking. thanks for sharing the story and lessons with us Garry! all the best -Rafif

@GarryTan 3 года назад

You can get this right. It takes work but you’ve got this.

@yeeboy217 3 года назад

@@GarryTan thanks, even if it does not work out or it fails i will learn a lot ... but i will try to make it work and use some of the strategies you propose. thanks!

@itsyourtoy 3 года назад

People. He legit acted for this. That's commitment to us the audience.

@gamedaycanvasf1 3 года назад

this is very helpful....thank you

@zb3734 3 года назад

man, that was some good acting. you're a regular james galdofini

@motelejesuolamilekan1950 3 года назад

Love, Garry, from Nigeria, thanks

@Khodam101 3 года назад

As I’m listening thinking, It also can apply to any relationship😅

@omarashrafhassan 3 года назад

If more people adopt the steel man technique when they are resolving team conflicts, the world would be in a greater place! People will feel that they will be heard and that they don't need to be over defensive!! Thanks, Garry for this great content! I include your videos as part of my additional videos/readings for my Business Management courses at Duke!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you Omar!!

@IdowuObadeyi 3 года назад

Goodness gracious! This is so true for ALL FACETS OF LIFE. Thanks man!

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Glad you enjoyed it!

@makeaniiimpactYT Год назад

This is so important in just regular human to human interaction.

@vey134 3 года назад

Its hard to ignore your videos....

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you for watching!

@Importracer280 3 года назад

Gary, hope you don't mind, but I'm taking you up on this. DMd you on IG.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

👌

@Jsmith1611 3 года назад

As always Garry dropping the knowledge. This will def help me as a PM work with my developers and stakeholders.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@YourFLOCK 3 года назад

Is this not about sharing the same values as well?

@mukeshloganathan4857 3 года назад

Something that might work for you is just sitting down in a room together with some alcohol and talk it out

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Haha alcohol not necessary but maybe some exercise hiking and meditation

@mysticjaarse 2 года назад

Thank you very much sir!! 🙏🙏

@cagefanatic 3 года назад

I'm in the middle of it! Need help!

@erikvenegas5688 3 года назад

Needed this video thank you!!

@kwazimnyandu9074 3 года назад

Another good content. Thank you. RSA - Johannesburg.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you for watching?

@rendelx 3 года назад

Really solid video and information

@33mememememe 3 года назад

"Would you stop interrupting me while I am interrupting you!!" 🤣 priceless!!! As always.... awesome video 📹!!!

@kohsinyee 3 года назад

Thanks for sharing!

@michaelolajide3914 3 года назад

Thank for this wonderful piece, Garry.

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thank you Michael!

@adityamotla8903 3 года назад

Thanks Garry 🔥❣️

@slimmette 3 года назад

So what you’re saying is we need to take a childless retreat 🤔

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Yes 👏

@ChairmanHehe 3 года назад

i like this but hate modern SF

@ChoogyNet 3 года назад

Like in a family, i think lesser internal conflict is always better

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Not always though. I think the right conflict at the right time.

@mikeguitar9769 3 года назад

Either not enough or far too much

@hometechkh 3 года назад

Another great content 💕

@jackheaslip8900 3 года назад

Steel man hypothesis ✅

@adamsmaase2581 3 года назад

I’m standing on point X , just resigned from one on Friday after 4 years of building and no breathing ... painful lessons... too much conflict ( and no structures). You’re explaining is spot on for the symptoms.

@elrosspangue7443 3 года назад

BOMB 💣

@GarryTan 3 года назад

Thanks for watching!

@prateek7746 3 года назад

As Mark Cuban said always do a business which is sellable and i don't think online coaching business is sellable or is it🤔🤔?

@GarryTan 3 года назад

The only rule in business is there are no rules

@AMGF815 3 года назад

Thanks for another great video. I just have one question for you: What's the location of that footage (12:41) of the 2 people walking up a grass hill near a body of water?

@kristopherleslie8343 3 года назад

So far the only conflicts I’ve had are with myself snd doubting my ideas have merit and value. I’ve pivoted by taking time to think about what matters to me and things I’ve managed to forget to handle. I took some time and I’ve slowly made myself accountable for other things and fix things out of order! That helped me get rejuvenated to get my ideas moving. Undoubtedly I’ve lost a lot of friends and family as of late so working through the depression and trying to still release my projects. Thanks for the inspiration!