Laura what would you say to a friend or relative that allowed an ex to treat them the way Steven is treating you. You can't keep letting him walk all over you, for your own wellbeing. He knows exactly what he's doing and he has no right to stay when you request he leaves. You need to put designated hours and times in place for him to visit. He can't keep invading your space when he deems fit.
He did it publically in order to push a narrative that you're the problem. An apology is only as good as the behavior that accompanies it. The BEHAVIOR is always more important than the words.
I saw it and I only stuck around because I knew what his fans would do over it and I want to tell you - You didn't do anything wrong and I was surprised you were as calm as you were, especially when he refused to leave your house. He still calls it his house and his fans encourage that. Your personal life is your business but Stephen does need to learn to respect your boundaries and it might help to have another man there when it happens or when you decide to discuss it because it can't be a thing that he brushes off. Which we saw him do to you in that Live. You're so confident and vibrant on your own but he's put you in bad positions on TikTok twice now and we can all see that confidence and vibrancy change when he starts. You can focus on all the good stuff but addressing the bad stuff also needs to happen. But I would address this with him sooner than later and I would make sure you have support when you do.
@@shadowpuppet0312 Same. I have so for a long time, and I've taken a lot of crap for the level of empathy I have for her... But I know how complicate that type of abuse is. It's so hard to escape.
@@22SeaJay Yes. I don't think she sees that though. I just hope she is supported and takes what people are saying the way it's intended. Laura, if you're reading the comments, people are worried because we care about your emotional and physical safety.
Girl change the lock on your door. He doesnt need a key. If you tell him to leave he needs to leave. If he doesn't then maybe you need to have the police escort him out. What he keeps doing is NOT acceptable or okay.
@@maryriseling209So do you think Stephen should have open access to Laura's home and not leave when she asks him to? Co-parenting is one thing but this is something else.
Beautiful lady... You need to set proper boundaries when it comes to him. He's forever behaving inappropriately, apologizing and then youre back to being all friendly with him. No. Yes co-parenting is good but that doesnt mean he should be allowed to act that way. Space. Boundaries. Otherwise it will never stop and you'll never break free.
You can be great co parents without being in each other's space. My ex and I co parented our daughter, we had joint custody and when the other didnt have her we would ring her at bedtime. If we had to discuss anything it would be over the phone and we were always cordial and friendly each other at hand over time. I didn't need to be in his house and he didn't need to be in mine. We respected each other's space and boundaries. Stephen needs to get over himself and move on and respect that he doesnt live in that house anymore but you also need to stop letting him in all the time because he wont accept it whilst he still has free rein of the place. Get a proper custody agreement in place and stop letting him holding you back from living your life.
He is NOT a healthy man and hasn't been for a while - protect yourself and the kiddos please!!! No way that doing that sh*te live to provoke you live is acceptable!!
@@shadowpuppet0312sounds like a typical abuser with enablers. He NEEDS to be somewhere inpatient for therapy tbh. He can be what his children need if he gets help.
The fact that he's putting you in this position on his lives, Laura, makes him very toxic and makes me worried for you. I've watched his lives. He is seriously mentally ill, and lives a weird online dystopian life. I still think he's a narcissist. The whole instigating a fight in front of people reaffirms this to me. Keep a safe distance.
@giacintaah Yeah that was my step-dad. I've been out of his reach for 12 years but there isn't a day that goes by where I don't have flash backs and where I don't feel the trauma of it. Especially watching the way he would treat my mom. It's awful. These guys are so self-centered. And they honestly shouldn't be around kids 😒
Its concerning and you can see he's doing weird intentional things to demonize her, in so many ways. The co-parenting short series was his idea and she's getting brutally attacked💔
Boundaries that are enforced are crucial; stop babying him. If you ask him to leave and he doesn't call the police and have him escorted out. Quit letting him do any social media at YOUR house; take control of what goes on in your own home! Quit letting him run your life
Instigating a fight on tiktok live is so messed up... I don't understand what has happened to Steven. He used to be a normal person with normal problems. Now he's someone I don't even recognize. I had to delete him on insta and tiktok because of the sheer ridiculousness of his page! You are so strong Laura I don't know how you even do this so level headedly and calmly.
I deleted and blocked him on every social media platform because I didn’t want any recommendations for his hateful content. He hasn’t changed. He is just showing his true hateful nature.
Laura I can't imagine how hard for you this all is, but please stand up for yourself. Poppy is watching this happen. She will think this is what is okay. For people to disrespect you and your space. You need to find the strength to do this for her and for Alfie so they dont grow up thinking this behavior is normal or acceptable. What went right: my father in law was in a car accident and his truck was totalled but he got stitches and got to come home. He wore his seat belt, his car did what it was supposed to do and he will recover.
I’m so sorry Laura, I think you need to protect yourself. He shouldn’t be in your space in order to coparent, have a meeting place but he shouldn’t be in your home. He doesn’t respect you and he’s a bully. You are an amazing human and mother. ❤
I really admire the way you’re trying to put your children before everything else and co parent, but the way he interacts with you makes me so uncomfortable for you and the kids. I would not have him in the house unless you have someone else there to keep eyes on him. He’s toxic and you are a strong woman who does not need to tolerate that at all. You don’t need to apologise for defending yourself, he’s in the wrong you and the kids are not his clickbait.
This is why it’s so good you’ve divorced him. His good and loving qualities do not outweigh his toxicity. You are a wonderful and kind woman. Great job, Mama.
i dont understand whats going on w stephen lately, im not sure if he was always that way but i cant stand his new attitude and mindset. you're being really strong and im so proud of the mother and the great inspiration of a woman that you've become.
I mean they’ve both been open about their lives being a struggle before they had been together. Sometimes people just continue to struggle. He’s possibly just always been like this for all we know 🤷
If she weren't the amazing human being she is, NONE of it would work. God knows if it were just him setting the tone of the interactions, those kids' lives would be straight manipulated unhealthy HELL. He is SO UNWELL.
I hope someone sees this from your team, Laura. Stephen is currently on Live and I peeked out of curiosity for a few minutes, and I would be so shocked if he were sober. He seems really off. I used to watch you both all the time, and then him for a moment before everything went off the deep end with him a while back. But even then, he seemed sober if misguided. Today, though...right now. I'm worried for you and the kids.
My ex likes to try and bait reactions as a form of control. My friend helped me come up with responses so I don't have to have arguments back and forth with him.
It's AMAZING how you can talk and reason with yourself about bits of outside negative comments ❤ My theory is if there's no drama, Stephen's followers don't watch. I aspire to handle toxicity as well as you!!!
Do not let him do that on TikTok live or ever I do not let him use his autism as a reason like I didn’t know I was doing that. I am an OG autism Mom my guy is nonverbal 25 and I hate it when people will use it, who are higher on the spectrum as an excuseI’m also a reg nurse with Kaiser for the last 25 years too
Bearing someone’s children is not a free pass for them to abuse you, and to do it publically You deserve better.. and so do they. he’s left this legacy for them on the internet despite your best efforts and it’s not okay. Your children need to know it’s not okay to feel unsafe at home.
Everything is not okay, and its not okay he keeps breaking your boundaries. You have a right to your boundaries and to your own life without him being glued to your side. To me it seems like he just wants to stay glued to you to know who you are seeing or dating, what you are doing, and where you are going. Thats unacceptable
@TheMistyakapyt I 100% absolutely agree. She has got to put her foot down though to stop him from doing it. I've tried the co-parenting after divorce and yes with an addict. They will take advantage until you have absolutely nothing left to give. I look at it as a you have a full cup but how can you keep your cup full to be a mom and a artist, and everything else, when she is pouring into Stephen's cup all the time. She's making herself empty while all he's doing is taking, taking, and taking some more from Laura.
What went right... I watched this vid and saw an awesome lady working her program which reminds me to work mine. I also was very reasonable with my adult high functionng autistic son instead of being frustrated or angry. I had a good day because that's what I wanted. Thank you so much for being you!
Laura...what Stephen is doing is not okay. He is being emotionally, verbally and mentally abusive all while making you feel guilty and accepting of his bad behavior. I lived with an abusive man for years who always made me feel guilty, responsible and confused when he lashed out. I always forgave this behavior which then reinforced his behavior even more. It got worse for me...much worse. I do not want this for you or your kids. Stand your ground and DEMAN RESPECT AND SET VERY CLEAR HARD LINE BOUNDARIES. Do not waiver or he will know that he can bully you into submission. My therapist described the abuse like a ferris wheel. It's great when you get on and then the ride starts and so does the abuse. The abuser gets a reaction at the bottom of the ride and they will apologize all the way to the top. At the top you have a decision to make. Get off the ride and say no more or stay on the ride and continue as many cycles as it takes for you to say enough is enough. Get off the ride now because sometimes there are women out there that don't get off and unfortunately the ride does nit end well. Stephen is holding you emotionally hostage because of time spent with him, memories shared and your lovely children. But remember...your kids need you whole, healthy and strong. Show Poppy that she can be a strong, independent woman that does not need to lose herself for a man. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of those littles. Big hugs to you.
It felt wrong and bad becuase it was wrong of him to do. You have every right to feel hurt and confused, it wasn't ok. Stronger boundaries for sure, dont allow anyone to bring negativity into your home.
yes Laura!! huge props to you!! you are working so hard to stay positive and healthy and raise your kiddos 💓💓 as a woman who also dealt with abusers while my kids were growing up ... I send you so much love and compassion and ongoing strength to you 💓💓 I also promise you this.... it DOES get easier as the kids get older ... p.s. my son is also on the spectrum and now thriving at age 30 🤩 xo
He instigated because he is abusive, and it fuels him when his "fans" hype him up. It makes him feel "powerful" and "masculine" to dominate, and it's so problematic. He apologized on the live so he could turn around and say he's the good guy. 🙄
As much as I appreciate your sharing, wouldn’t it feel better to talk to your therapist about this? It’s my first instinct to call my mom when my husband makes me upset, but it never ends well. People start giving you advice you didn’t ask for.
Spending time with my mom, who turns 79 on the 11th, went right for me today. Also, a wonderful walk in the NC sunshine with my rescue dog was wonderful! Than you for the reminder to acknowledge the positives, despite anything else that may be going on.
What went right for me today: I got a job interview for Monday. I had a gift card left to buy new interview clothes. I’ve lost a kilo following the CSIRO Type 2 Diabetes diet. And the council dropped off two brand new garden bins by mistake. I only asked for one. Your vegan creamy pasta recipe looks delicious btw 🖤
Ι love how you handle your feelings with whatver comes your way whether its the dishes or arguing with Stephen its amaxing how well you are able to be aware of your emotions feelings and thoughts and move forward rather than dwell like you said. I needed that!
You're so busy with kids, work, etc., everything. We forget to eat when we're taking care of other people/kids around us. I spent 3 days in the ER with my fiance who had a minor stroke and I lost 5 pounds because I was "being there" for someone else. It's hard when we're trying to get this and that done to sit down and eat. ❤ you're doing a great job and we all see it.
Stephen is abusive and even just the way he said to you “i swear to god if i hear you say you forgot to eat one more time” was so disrespectful, & mean. even tho it wasn’t a ‘threat’ per say, it was not nice & reminded me of how an abusive ex would talk to me sometimes. I feel for you & hope you implement stronger boundaries & keep more space from him 🖤
Or is it because he recognises Lauras repetitive, passive aggressive way of saying 'I have less time for myself now'. Just because you like Laura and she shows this side of herself in her videos doesn't mean there aren't toxic sides of her that you don't see that she chooses not to show.
@@peachesandapril Exactly. She shattered their family, why? Her supporters think he's abusive, but it's an illusion she created and she's now trying to build on. She cruelly and recklessly discarded him right after he intended suicide. Who does that to anyone, let alone your loving husband? She has all the indicators of a covert somatic narcissist and he has all the indicators of a victim of a covert somatic narcissist. And I really want to hear that recording.
I think there's a difference between dwelling on negativity and problem solving. You have to look at a problem and figure it out in order to solve it, and that means giving it attention. It isn't the same thing as dwelling on something you have no control over. Problem solving is important and constructive while dwelling is toxic and problematic, so there is a significant difference between the two. It isn't "dwelling" to equip yourself with new ways to react in case he continues to pull stunts like that in the future. You're definitely right that it is also important to make it a goal to think about what went right and all of the positives in your life. I guess it's important to put due focus on both and finding that balance is a very mindful and intentional process. You're doing great, thank you for including us!
You shouldn't have to keep curbing your natural reactions if you are being manipulated. You aren't dwelling if the situations which cause the emotions continue to occur.
I made the dinner you cooked and I loved it!!! You need to do a vegan cooking show on lives or cook more often.. I am new to veganism and was so happy you gave step by step directions to guide me😊Will definitely be making again! Thanks!!
Damn, sounds like he had it planned. He definitely will do anything to get likes. That really sucks, So weird to have someone act like that, so negative.
Laura just reading through some of these comments and finding out more about this fight he picked with you on TikTok,has me thinking,have you spoken to him about the possibility of NOT doing lives on social media while the 3 or 4 of you are out in public doing family time? It’s just an idea as I have a feeling that his followers were probably goading him into picking a fight with you, and if it wasn’t all live,there would be no goading and hopefully then some fights could be avoided,as I said,it’s just an idea
Please be safe Laura. It's clear he is unwell and needs mental help. At least protect yourself and dont allow him to go live at your house. I'm sorry this is happening to your family, especially publicly.
Laura, take care of yourself, I stopped following Stephen a while back, as I was always calling him out for not addressing the trolls that harassed you but thought he was a god. Have a serious talk with him, and set those boundaries. He cannot start an argument over nothing and then expect you to keep quiet, especially in front of the kids. They may be young but things like that can have a lasting effect.
The fact that you can recognize your boundaries and that you need to put them in place is amazing. I feel so many don't even know how to do that when relationships become toxic.
I'm grateful for my house and comforts I fill it with: soft towels, plenty of food, my books, my clothes... Today is just starting for me, but it has gone right in the case I slept in and already exercised today
knocking you off kilter emotionally, and then being able to stay on your mind once he is out of your airspace is his goal. You have to become indifferent to him and thats nearly impossible while raising children together. You need a counselor who can teach you how to deal with someone who is always in a competition with you. He cares more about controlling you than he cares about his children being raised without the same dysfunctions you all have. He is the enemy of your family and you dont want that to be true. You have so much support that you arent even aware of. Work on those boundries and get educated on how to parent healthy kids with a parent who has ulterior motives.
❤ what went right today for me was to read your second book, Idiots. I had read and loved the first ages ago, and didn't know that the last one existed... Found it after rereading the first... And cried and laughed so much. I wish I could speak to you for real, but I don't have social media. Anyway if you ever read my comment you will understand why your book made my day. I have two Aspies. And I am Aspie myself. And the diagnosis of my first child came two years ago... When he was already a teenager, and so hurt by life. And my own diagnosis and his brother's came afterwards... We never had any help or support or whatever you want to call it. We still don't, but I don't want to go into depressing matters. Reading about your experience and how you view being autistic, made me feel less alone. I was just feeling so much love towards your neurodiverse family that I came on RU-vid to see you, although I only watch or follow Judge Judy... And I truly hope that you're doing okay. There's so much I would like to tell you, but I am going to be a true Aspie and just tell you what you asked for: YOUR BOOK made my day. Reading your words and being awed by your candor... I hardly ever talk to anyone or want to talk to anyone, but right now if I could, I would tell you your own words. It's going to be okay, you're beautiful, and smart... NOT an idiot. I know you have lots of support and lots of people who love you, and don't really need my words. But I mean them. I am wishing you and your family all the best. And I am so grateful for your books, and your videos during the pandemic. Thank you for making my day today, and many other days.
Hey please, don't waste olive oil anymore by putting it in pasta water, it's not useful at all, instead, keep a cup of pasta water and put it in your cream to help the pasta combine with the sauce and ingredients. pro italian tip ;) Wish you well and I hope you can sort out things with Stephen, he's being obsessive with his socials and it makes him forget what is really important. I think the divorce was the best thing for both of you but there are still things to figure out. Stay strong, you're amazing.
Laura WE KNOW that you are an amazing mother and WE SEE that you are not the problematic one in this situation ! ❤ you are being extremely selfless in putting your children's relationship with their father Beira your own feelings 🥹. I can't imagine having to keep a controlling ..emotionally abusive ..mentally unstable ex in my life for the sake of the kids but I do implore you to keep STRICT boundaries and get the important legal stuff done ❤
Me watching this video went right today. I ignore the positive and go straight to the negative sometimes. Thank you for sharing and reminding us how to maintain and overcome through #mindfulness and #positivity. Life happens, it's how we react to it that can make us bitter or better.😎
Love you lady!!! You really are a shining star! And this is just a general, down with the patriarchy sort of comment--not personal--instead of "watching" "babysitting" or "with" could we PLEASE use "fathering" "parenting" "caring for" or even "in charge of" to describe when the father of our children are doing their goddam job?!
Instigating you in public intentionally is abusive. The boundaries need work yeah and your own self protection is key. Tell him no more lives at your home and at shared kid times. Tell him you don’t wNt to be in his social media posts yourself. Sponsor and therapist to solidify your self care and by proxy your kids’ care. Him doing this isn’t looking out for the kids either. Very toxic and you deserve better. Keep working those steps and cleaning your side of the street. Big hugs. You’re not an idiot.
I love you Laura. You are authentic and humble and figure it out one day at a time. Also definitely missed a stellar modeling career. Do you notice any co occurrence with Alfie's difficulty getting to sleep and the time he spends with his dad? I know Stephen loves his kids and is working hard to be his awesome dad self!
I make a list everyday of what went well during the day, 3 things at least that i am grateful for and 3 things i did for myself ! You are a good Mother Laura ❤❤❤❤
I haven't watched you in a while, but I'm really worried for you. Please make sure that you're not subjecting yourself to having him in your home, having him make comments like that to you and in front of your children... I wish you the very best, Laura.
