As an out 19 year old gay man I went to a tech school to be a diesel mechanic. I grew up in a logging and trucking family so it was a perfect fit for me. It took me four years to get the two year degree because I had to pay for it in cash. I had a full time job, but there were terms I had to take off to save for the following term of school. I think it opened a lot of peoples eyes about who "could be gay". Living in North Idaho most folks hadn't seen a gay person that wasn't on television. They were always shocked about how much I knew about trucks and that I owned so many tools. It was a constant coming out process whenever I would mention my boyfriend in front of someone new, but there was never a bad reaction. Some people even came later to apologize for jokes they had told in the past. I would do it all over again. I'm still out, and I still work on trucks.
Came out when I feel in love with a co-worker. I was in my early 30's. Wish I had come out sooner , but would not change much as now life is pretty perfect . With that same guy for 25 years before getting legally married finally in 2012. Love our lives together .
(I’m from the U.K.) and I took university as a brand new start for me, I started experimenting with boys for the first time and then eventually came out during the summer of my 1st year, and honestly it was the BEST decision I ever made! I’ve been so much happier ever since, I’ve been so lucky to have so many supportive people around me 💕 Keep doing what you’re doing guys, I always enjoy seeing your videos in my sub-box, much love x
first off, I love you guys. You two are truly blessed to have found each other. Now, thank you for touching on the gay/coming out issue but not making it the focus of this video. Getting an education, staying focused on the road ahead and LIVING LIFE is so much more important than revealing your sleeping preference. I am a gay man. I came out at 24 and am very glad I waited before coming out. It gave me time to figure out what I wanted my life to be withOUT worrying about what people would think about me and who I choose to sleep with. You guys are awesome and inspiring. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your lives. Peace, joy and love guys.
Great topic, guys! I wasn't out in college and didn't start coming out until about 10 years later. If I had to do it over in the same time period (circa early-2000's) I still possibly wouldn't be, but if I were in college today I definitely would. It's amazing how much things have changed socially in just 15 years. What I would do differently regardless of the time period would be to meet more people and make more friends, apply myself a lot harder, and take advantage of everything that came along. To those who are in school now or starting soon, capitalize on the unique opportunities you have...this is a time like no other in your life.
The main thing about coming out anywhere; first breathe: that pressure you feel inside is yours to direct. be safe in your person pay attention to your surroundings and the people you have near, If you're paying attention (which can be difficult) you will have a reasonable idea of the reactions you will get. Related:everyone is responsible for the safety of their own person. Learn how to defend your life. Don't let the threat of social ejection stop you, finding new friends is part of what school at all levels is about. Physical safety is the concern. Be financially independent of a person or institution who will negatively take the news. Jobs scholarships, and GoFundMe are all viable options to pay for college. Even rich uncle/aunt morty who loves you like you're their child. Until you learn to live without creating fears that show themselves to be false you are not living. All things have a price so be you, and be free to change who you are. Its your life; mom and dad and hateful cousin fred can't live it for you.
Love you guys. I focused all through high school about getting good grades and then focus on college. I have my Bachelors and my MBA. I have been out of college for three years and just now coming out of the closet. I am now focusing on myself. I love your videos and please keep the amazing videos coming.
I love you two, I'm not in college, but I totally understand what it's like to leave home and find yourself, my family tried to destroy me, so cutting people off and growing independently is what I know, thank you guys for the awesome talk.
I was lucky that I was able to come out in JR. High School. There was a group of us that came out in the middle of our 7th grade year. When we all got to high school we all went in different directions. Some became singers, drama, jocks,and nerds but the best thing is we are all still in touch and good friends. Most of us ended up moving to the same city and hang out to this day. But we were a lucky group as our parents,teachers and communities were very accepting of us . Not to say there was not haters but because we were a group of 15 we had each other to keep us strong.
im gettin jealous sometimes when seeing a happy couple sharing their experiences..i don't really know if i'm regretting or not of still in closset at my age..I'm 37... for my experience in college, always been hint by girls n guy but i kept my self in closset..agreed with u guys that we dont know what problem somebody may have at their home..living in a country like my country is 1 of the reason..n coming from a religious family is one of the hardest...anyway, really glad that u guys having a good relationship..greeting from south east asia...
Love you guys! I must reiterate - stay at school during the weekends!!!! Don't go home!! You're missing out!!!! You'll never get that time back!!! I hope this reaches at least one person :)
Great video as always; an inspiration to all whether closeted or not; it’s wonderful to know your experiences which ultimately brought you both together;
4:26 (Hi. from a mostly-closeted guy involved in a campus college ministry; yes, we do exist!) Thank you guys for your advice and perspective. I can relate a lot to Carson's perspective,as it's nice to see representation of people in similar life paths to me.
That was great advice! I used to go to an art school, and your video helped me contemplate going back. Keep making advice videos, you guys are good at it!
So Carson, you mentioned being in the campus ministry in college, so I would love it if you spoke on your spiritual/religious beliefs and how they have changed since coming out. I think not enough is talked about this subject and I would love to hear your take. Thanks!
Hehehehehe - I lived like 20mins away from my parents house :) I survived on Kraft Dinner and apple & orange Juice my first year of college!!! I got to go home to my parents house for supper on Sunday...heheheheheh You guys are amazing - I am very happy that I am following you and thank you!!! Lots of hugs to you....Have a great weekend!
I believe that the times and general mind set has changed in relation to being more accepting of the gay life style. Even more so in the last 5-10yrs. I grew up in the late 60'S and early 70'S before the AIDS epidemic. As one who was at the first March on Washington and an advocate for early gay rights inclusion, I've seen the dramatic changes in public opinion thru the decades. As I have always advised, be yourself, come out on your own terms, and live the life you choose for yourself. You'll be nothing but stronger, happier and more confident for it.
Informative video. I am decades older than the two of you, but I tune in because I am interested in seeing how life has changed...or not changed...for gay guys in their 20’s. I felt it was hard to focus in college (Wisconsin) because I had to cope with either the fear or the reality of discrimination. I came out in my senior year because I couldn’t be bothered any longer with the subterfuge of not being out. In the aftermath, even though it was difficult, I never regretted the decision. Always choose truth. I was lucky to escape to San Francisco, just as I graduated (1974), and that was a move which made my life. My question is to Carson, who was involved with Christian ministry. Is your religion still a part of your life? I remain a Catholic out of sheer cussedness.
Always love your videos, guys. I didn't come out in college because, I didn't understand who I was on a sexual basis. I was definitely in love with music and since I lived at home, I was not a part of any of the stuff that went on outside of class. It was a private school with a great music program, but very expensive. My parents could not afford for me to live on campus. I only knew of one gay guy. His name was Jerry. He was everything about gay that I did not want to be, and he had a bad reputation. So while I did know that I didn't really like girls that way, I knew that I didn't want to be like Jerry. So, that made it easy. I just thought I was asexual. My hero was Spock on Star Trek, and so all was fine for a few years. At the end of my Master's degree, things changed. It was hard and I cried a lot. And, one thing is certain. You can't pray it away. But. you also don't have to be a slut and a creep like Jerry. I love you guys a lot. Take care. Big hugs always. Greg G.
Gregory Gyllsdorff or u can accept jerry and not shame him for his sexual choices. Maybe? Lol we r all different thankfully. U amd me and jerry all deserve respect.
Oh my, The last thing I wanted to do is shame Jerry for his sexual choices.(I never said anything to Jerry.) That was a very long time ago, and my attitude and views have changed dramatically since then. They way the world looks at gay people has changed significantly since then. I just finished watching The Boys in the Band movie, made in the 70's. It is shockingly relevant, yet significant in how people's attitudes toward us, and our own attitudes about other gay people and ourselves have changed a great deal. Good changes, and hopefully more good to come.
Don't go into huge debt. AND, my husband worked in business for almost 20 using his business and accounting degree. He left it to drive a forklift and makes $90,000 a year and says if he had to do it over again he would have gone to a 2 year trade school and got a trade. So there are great options out there and IMO as a father of five don't go into huge debt for feel that you have to go to collage. BTW, I love your videos! You guys make us old guys believe the future is in good hands.
So I never realized how similar my collegiate story was to Carson’s (just a few miles away and a few years behind). It is good to know there is light of the end of the tunnel!
I love you guys. My daughter is going to college two hours away. She is studying to be a Diesel mechanic. And is the first and (so far) only female intern in the motor pool at the mine where she works. As far as her going in to debt, there are a crap ton of Grants out there. Just keep looking.
My best college advice is do the things you really want, don't be afrid to take the odd ball classes. I took film history, Italian and the history of coffee and they were awesome!
College is one of the safest times to start a coming out process. You are away from home. You get to find out what TRUE friends are. Then work your way to your family if you haven’t already done so.
I went to CU, which is a private, very small, Baptist college in NC. I didn’t come out in college but I had lots of friends who did and never experienced backlash.
I am part of a very different generation....I was NOT out in college, went to school in the city I grew up in, 15 minutes from home, but lived on campus. Was in a social fraternity and played the part of the straight boy, even dated a few girls and took them to formals and parties...Iit was a very different time, and many bad things could happen to a guy that came out, even when he was of a spotless and very highly rated background....It was ok to discriminate, kick the guy out, just on the rumor of being gay....This was the late 70's early 80's at the University of Akron. I was the ultimate fraternity member.....into every activity and studied my ass off and worked on campus to keep me from wanting a sex life....I partied HARD and became everything I wasn't in HS... took some time off lived and worked in the Pocono's of PA returned home and finished at Kent State....Still not out, still in a fraternity, still lived and worked on campus....but times and place were changing and it was more acceptable to be gay.....and I inched toward being more out.... I came out at age 37 in 1997, but I knew since I was about 6......If I had it all to do over, I would have not gone to Akron, but to Kent from the beginning and would have come out in college. It would have changed my entire life after that....... Love your vlog! and you both are too cute and seem authentic. Between the harness in the last vid and your chain and lock collar...., I know you boys are having fun! LOL!
I met my boyfriend my first day of freshman year, he was a junior even though we were the same age. (I worked a few years after high school to save some money.) He claimed me from the get-go, and we were so good at staying closeted togeather that no one ever figured it out, and we were Fraternity Men as well and still managed to keep it to ourselves. It's not that we were afraid to come out, we just didn't think it was anyone elses business. When we finally did, years later, it couldn't have gone over worse with my boyfreinds family, maybe if we had come out in college it would have ended differently.
I can kind of attest to both situations. When I first when away for college, I was still unsure about my sexuality. Eventually, I realized that while I was emotionally attracted to both men and women, I was only sexually attracted to men. I spent the first semester and a half in the closet till I finally came out. While I was in the closet, I will say it was a huge weight on my shoulders to hide who I truly was to my friends and family. I was constantly assessing and reassessing what I said and did to give no hint away that I was gay. It was quite stressful and depressing at times. Then, when I slowly came out to family first and then eventually friends, this weight was lifted off my shoulders. Thankfully everyone in my life was very accepting of the true me. I remember having some feeling of being different in high school and would sometimes express it, but since I was living in the deep south of Alabama, I though it was best to hide it, even though I was in a pretty progressive town. College was definitely a different place, people are way more accepting that those I went to high school with. So, I'm glad I waiting to come out in college because I was still figuring things out on my own and I was in a better place for coming out.
Absolutely amazing guys and great advice!! Never been to nc state but I’ve been to Wilmington several times! Currently about to graduate from Wingate University!!👌🏾💯
Hey Guys .. each person have their own story . Mine is in a way like yours Carson. Did come from a very small town... and did not have the " balls " to jump out in the late 80´ies... Fake´ed with a girl for some years... all do i knew what I wanted... It was deffenetly other times back than..... So do understand your dilemma back than too... The Young people today has it much easier. Have a great day.HugsTOM
You guys are Fantastic! I love the collar it looks great, I would imagine on a Guy as Large as you Carson any other jewllery would look rediculas… Holy Crap how big is your neck! Love your channel, I came out at 18 in 1980, rural Canada you guys make me so proud of this new generation! Thank you.
Carson whats going on with the chain collar man. Just gonna wear it in the video and not tell the fans whats it all about. Or maybe you said it and I somehow missed it in the video. Idk lol you guys are great.
Brandon D typically, idk if this is the case here, gay men who wear padlocked chains are the sub in the relationship as it symbolizes being owned. could just be cuz he likes it. tell us carson!
Bern Lobbeh oh I know what's the chain collar means and to wear it is a big step for guys. Its also a big symbol in the gay comnunuty. straight people aren't walking around with a locked chain around their necks it's very much a gay thing. I'm sure at this point both carson and nate know this. So for Carson to wear it and not say anything about it when their RU-vid channel is based around their relationship, it's just a tad disappointing. Like is this a new step in their relationship. But like you said maybe he just likes it but considering the symbolism behind some people might not like that. Me I don't care I just want to know why he's decided to wear one
I haven't seen them in months. All I see is how happy, swoll and accomplished they both seem. I don't need to pry into their sex life. That is their business and their business alone. Have the happiest, most kinky (or vanilla!) sex life YOU want. No one owes you a picture. Make your own. 💙
I just finished my first year and I was fairly out. I’m masculine and athletic I guess so no one really knew. Most guys I would meet would usually tease the more feminine guys cause they say it’s not normal. But for being at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (a red state) it was fairly accepting and almost no one cared
Your video should be compulsory watching for all high school students thinking about what to do next. Very thought provoking. You both looked great (hot) as usual. Take care guys x x
Just an idea... You can make a video about how life is in Raleigh, its positives and negatives, or how much different it is from the rest of the US...; if possible.
Hi Carson and Nate! Recently subbed and I am loving you guys. I'm currently over halfway done in college with a min wage job, have a research project for bloodless medicine and surgery in mind, and hoping to start CrossFit. How do you manage and balance multiple things at a time during college? Any advice can help. Love you guys! 😊👍👍
Love your videos guys .. college age is very tough , coming out is still not easy at any age . Here in the south things are changing but their still can be great losses . I am now 40 an my first job where i outted myself because two hot guys lol.. olive garden has an no tolerance for racism an for gay bashing policy thus that an my co workers made it so much easier to be myself . I will say the younger you come out the easier it is , being older is tougher . My own story was a horrible ambushed coming out because of a relative , I wished inhale come out on my terms , but what was meant for harm set me free . I agree with you guys be responsible get your degree , dating will always be there while your young . Great topic .. Carson lil attached to that bottle arent yeah .. #ciderbeerrocks
Great video, I loved hearing your experiences. I’m about to graduate high school and go to college in the spring. I’m currently in the closet but want to come out my freshman year in college.My main questions, did you tell your roommate right away you were gay or hold off, I have a randomly assigned roommate and I just don’t want to make things weird Incase he is uncomfortable with a gay roommate. I don’t really know what the best move is. I’m just overall nervous to come out in general but my roommate situation is giving me anxiety. I’m going to a pretty liberal school but it’s in the Midwest in my home state and I know quite a few people at my high school that would be uncomfortable with a gay roommate. I would love advise
Both of you guys are super cute as always! Anyways the advice was great. I am finishing my first year and second semester in college and after that I’m done. I’ve had enough. I might come back to it in a couple years or so I don’t know. Right now I’m just trying to find a new full time job and actually get a paid a lot more than usual so can be able to purchase I want like my own car and all that important stuff in life. Don’t know if I’m gay or straight. We’ll see what happens. Take care guys I love you!
Excellent advice, guys. On top of being a lifelong atheist in a family of Catholics, I was out at age 13, and at 16 I had a boyfriend that lasted 2 years. We're still friends today. Ironically, in college the very first guy I got on my knees for looked exactly like a white Jesus; long blond hair, blue eyes, and abs you could crack walnuts on. We dated exclusively for a year, until we both mutually decided to part ways. There were just too many fish in the sea to be hooked so soon, and we both wanted to cast our rods in other waters.
My best advice for coming out is, if you can, come out to someone you know is gay. You need someone who will either be happy or bored. Obviously you should know them, but just say hey I want to tell you this so I can get used to saying it to other people. I told my teacher who I knew was gay and he was just said...welcome.
Let’s see. I’m 57 and came out 40 years ago. Being very masculine and good looking at 17, I simply got tired of girls trying and chasing me. So started telling everyone and just didn’t care. Girls still tried. Friends didn’t believe me. But when I dated my first boyfriend at 19, they all started to believe. Wasn’t scared of being bullied or beat up, because I was tough, and the average person in my neighborhood was scared of me. Older guys would crack their jokes and tease, but never in a bad way.
My story is kinda different. I’m aromatic asexual. I just spent ten minutes typing out my “coming out” story but after five paragraphs I think I should tell my crazy come out story on my channel. Lol. That said, I have been a subscriber since your first videos. You two are cool. I think this is my first comment. Sorry I have not left one until now.
Great video. I didn't come out until 36yrs old. However, I had no gay roles or an idea of gay. I went to a monastery for 15 years. However when I was posted to San Francisco, that's when I knew what I was . Came out of the monastery and came out.
Great video, guys. I have known a few gay guys in college, but they were fun to talk to. I do miss them when they graduated. Really wished I had their contacts. Grrr. >_< I never did live in college since it was expensive, but home was like a 30 minute drive from there.
I’d like you’re guys advice on something if it’s okay. I live in UK and I’m about to finish secondary school (in the middle of doing my exams). I haven’t come out to anyone but have been thinking about doing it for awhile. I’m not sure when the best time to tell family is and I don’t know weather to tell my friends at secondary school now or just wait till I’m in college and start fresh there. I would just tell my friends in secondary school now but my friends are split into two groups. Group of girls who I feel would accept it and then a group of boys who I feel won’t accept it. Sorry for the long message
Can I recommend a you tuber from the UK: Jamie Raines. He's up for an award for the good work he does in educating about the LGBT community. He's inciteful, smart, funny, cute and just happens to be a trans guy.
Do you think it`s easier to come out for large, muscular guys such as yourselves ? I`m guessing that at least at high school, very large guess are less likely to get bashed.
Being out is ok if you are in Theatre, not so much if you are in Engineering. Either way, you can either be honest or not. You are only young once. You only age from 25 onwards. Enjoy it while you can. I'm glad I was the tail-end Disco generation... boy, did we dance!
