College Ruined Singing For Me 

As an undiagnosed autistic child, I wish I had known that singing all the time was a form of stimming; something I *needed*. I stopped after hearing a judgy "why are you singing all the time?", and life was just that bit tougher without that happy, regulating outlet. I hope you get your joy of singing back soon. 💜

You addressed the fact that you've recovered some of your ability to just sing constantly as you go through your life, but you never addressed the fact that the people who'd been telling child and teenage you that you were a good singer weren't lying or sugar coating (except the 3hrs singing instructor who, as you mentioned, had both training and a specific reason not to crush your hopes and dreams) your perceived singing talent but genuinely perceived your singing as good, in a way that a classically trained singing instructor couldn't? A hothouse long stem rose is a thing of beauty but so is a wild rose with only five petals, growing in a hedge. And wild roses smell amazing.

Dating a car guy in college, driving around, I started singing to the radio. Guy asks, who sings this, I say [insert artist here] and Guy says Then let them sing it. Yeah, we broke up.

To be fair to everyone who complimented you before college, a kid having a pretty singing voice is very different than a potential professional with actual training. You could be good at singing by church standards but not musical theater standards. They're really different things.

Girl!!! I spent 7 years.. yes.. SEVEN YEARS studying cinema only to realize that I liked watching movies not making them... it took a while to find my calling in web development, did that for 15 years and now I'm moving on to management... we grow, we change, we adapt.. 😁

Had a friend in college…amazing folk voice. He actually sang at our wedding. Anyway, I asked him why he didn’t major in music. He said because then it would be a “job” and he enjoyed it too much to make it work.

As a voice teacher, I apologize for my peers who seem to enjoy making students feel bad about their voices. I did my Bachelor's in opera and then stopped performing for like... 5-7 years because I stopped enjoying it as much. The academic burnout is REAL. I can totally relate to feeling better when in head voice - I'm AuDHD and had a teacher tell me it was safer to sing in head voice, so I sang EVERYTHING in head voice (like down to E3). For what it's worth, (now being an MT pedagogue) I think you have a lovely voice and I'm happy that you enjoy spontaneously singing again!

I love your honesty. I had an high school art teacher that didn’t like my art. She thought I was very ordinary. I didn’t realize I had any artistic talent-until I was in my 50’s. Because I believed (due to her lack of encouragement) that I had no artistic ability. She was wrong. It took me signing up for an art class (via Zoom) a few years ago to realize I have a bunch of artistic abilities. It’s funny what you can find out, when you attempt things with no expectations of being any good. Now I let the joy of the process guide me and I’m always surprised by what I can do!

I've always tried to be honest to my kids about their abilities. Not cruel, just honest. So when they went out into the world they weren't taken aback by someone else's honesty.

Dear Charlie - hearing you say that your mother used to wake you up by singing "Good Mornin'!" from Singing In The Rain, gave me goosebumps, because MY mother used to do the same thing!! She would sing "Good Mornin', good mornin', you've slept the whole night through"!!! LOL I suspect that I'm close to twice your age, but it seems that "musical mothers" may be timeless!! Thanks!!

Reminds me of the damage my dad did to my Momma. My Momma told me she used to LOVE singing when she was younger and then she married my dad who was a musician and he told her how horrible her singing was and she stopped singing for probably 30, 40 years until she told me that because I kept wanting her to sing with me in the car listening to The Beatles. I asked her if she wanted to sing professionally and she said no so I asked her then why does it matter? I told her of an exchange I remember from Touched By An Angel when Della Reese angel (can’t remember character names) asked Roma Downey angel why she wasn’t singing? Roma angel said that her voice wasn’t as beautiful on earth as it was in heaven and Della angel said “it is written, make a JOYFUL noise unto the lord.” NOT a beautiful noise, and told her to sing. I told Momma as long as she was happy it shouldn’t matter how it sounds. She slowly started singing with me and sometimes I’d have to tickle her to get her to sing with me but she saw how much I Love her and wanted to have fun with her. I would still catch her lip syncing at times so I’d tease her saying, “I can’t HEAR YOU!!!!!!” And she’d laugh and start singing. I miss my Mommy so much. We had such good times.

Charlie, you’re such a good storyteller ❤️👍

I don’t think that all the people who told you that you were great at singing before the college interview were lying to you, I think they just not as heavily train as the chair who honestly pointed out that your singing ability was ok, but not up to his standards. It’s just most people don’t really notice or care about the minute technical details that people at that level will obsess over. I’m not a music person. I can carry a tune decently enough. I’ve been a welcome member in choirs. but not a soloist. I’ve also been a ringer in churches where the cantor wanted to encourage the congregation to sing more. And I can tell how bad it is when drunk people are doing karaoke. So I am definitely not tone deaf and unable to differentiate bad and decant singing. Many years ago, I worked in the music industry. I primarily was doing graphic for the CD labels and covers, but because the company was so small, I had to be a bit of a jack-of-all-trades and assist on the music side of things. So this one time, after a performance we’d done a live recording of, a bunch of the singers were complaining about things like a moment when a not was off by like a quarter or some-such minutia. The director was telling them it was good anyway, but they were obsessing. So I explained to them that more average people like me, couldn’t tell that a note hadn’t been sung absolutely perfectly as it was written on a piece of paper we often didn’t even see (I had that particular time, but the audience hadn’t.) We weren’t listening for musical precision, we were listening for the beauty. Things like emotional content. Now I’m not saying there isn’t value in learning the technical skills. I do art, so it’s easier for me to talk about the value of technical skils in that context. I am able to draw realism, I can paint detailed realistic things. It is a skill a somewhat regularly revisit to keep in practice. But when I’m doing what I think of my serious painting, they are fairly abstract or stylized. The skills I have from doing realism help me to control how I those abstract paintings come out, but I am not aiming for technical perfection. So, back to my point. Those people who said you were good before the director were probably mostly responding to how listening to you sing made them feel, and just didn’t focus on or have the background to perceive the technical flaws that the chair of the department, who presumably has a PhD in the subject, noticed and commented about.

that sounds more like cruelty than honesty. you were clearly good enough to get into the program despite having any real formal training. it breaks my heart that you stopped doing something you loved for years because of the words of one man who should have known better.

I've realized over the past couple of years that I'm really grateful that my husband isn't bothered by me singing around the house. He's a very serious person and a lot of things I do annoy him, but I can sing my silly songs and almost never hear about it. Singing is a human thing! It's joyous and fun and ties us into our community. I'm so sad to hear that your relationship with singing was hurt in university, but I believe that singing, like making art, is something that everyone can and should do whether they're "good" at it or not. These things get ruined in our minds because we're "amateurs" but they serve an important purpose of self-realization and it's a shame that we can be shamed out of engaging with those creative outlets.

I only did the plays in at my high school because I knew I wasn't a very good singer, but the play we did my senior year had a couple of songs in it (no solos or anything, just the whole cast singing). I didn't realize I wasn't hitting the right note, because it sounded right in my head but not out loud. Instead of trying to help me learn, our music director just told me to stop singing. I already thought I wasn't a good singer, so that broke me. It made me feel like I shouldn't ever sing in front of people again and that my singing was beyond hope, so I almost never sing in front of other people, including my partner, and I will NEVER do karaoke.

Charlie, you have main character energy and I am here for it, for the random singing and for the stories. Loving this new channel alongside the stitchery 🪡

When I was in art school, art for art's sake drove me crazy. I hated it. Now I'm all about art for art's sake because that is the joy of creating art without worrying about what anyone says. Music for the love of music is a magical thing.

It might not be that folks had been lying to you or humoring you about your singing. Lots of people have nice voices overall, but lack the formal/rigorous training to fine tune/elevate their abilities. And unless the person giving feedback has a background to know what is technically "good" or not, they're just going off vibes or if it sounds pleasant to their layman ears.

You said "i stopped badly belting out The Wizard and I in the shower", and I almost started crying. As I'm typing this, I think it's because that particular song is about the hope of finding acceptance and belonging - and you felt like you had to give that up. On the plus side, i think I'm going to listen to the Wicked album again soon 😂

Honestly the most surprising part of all this to me is that a Baptist college had a musical theater program. I was raised Southern Baptist and it would have been unthinkable among those I was around. 😂

I’m always singing, I’m not very good at it though… My grandpa who was my person as a child and who always babysat me sang constantly, he used to make up his own songs a lot and if he wasn’t singing he was humming one of the things I miss the most is hearing him sing and hum while he was baking

I love when you spontaneously sing in your seeing videos. So I’m glad you’ve recaptured some of that joy and let go of the fear/weight of not being good. I’m not classically trained but I do think you sound good and enjoy your spurts of song.

This was always my fear. I adore singing and I'd rather adore singing as an amateur than have singing ruined for me by trying to do something with it outside of a tipsy karaoke performance.

I love how your brother used the word “caterwauling” to tell you to stop singing!

My mom and I make up goofy songs to sing all the time but to the tune of popular songs, sort of like a parody. For example, we recently had to take my cat on a trip with us and on the way to the car, I started singing "I'm too fluffy for my carrier" to her. I'm not super aware of how much I do it, it just happens. My husband (when we were still dating) just accepted this as one of my quirks. Then when he got to meet my family for the first time, my mom started singing one of her made up songs and he just went "oh no, there's two of them"

I had a similar experience with acting. I was so horrible but loved theater so much, that I went backstage and there was NO competition. My first career was as a costume designer. Fun story!

The more stories you tell about your life, the more I’m convinced we had the same childhood. Right down to being raised on old musicals despite not being anywhere near the age in which they were produced, and a huge family that sang *all the time *.

What I wouldn't give to sit down and chat with you right now! First of all, I found your other channel cuz I love to sew. I've lived in LA for a couple years and I'm pretty sure you helped me find Remainders in Pasadena (omg thank you). I'm a singer and I teach voice lessons for a living and have done so for about 20 years. All I can say is you're NOT ALONE!! It is WILD how the business of going to school for performing arts can squeeze out all the joy- it's just so common. I'm thrilled you're finding moments to sing with abandon again. Keep doing that!! Stories like yours have completely informed how I work with singers these days. Thank you for sharing so openly 💖💖

Yup, happened to me with the Fine Arts degree... Except that college managed to completely break, chew, and terrorize anyone who couldn't adapt to be one of the teachers' pets. You could either do hyperrealistic painting, carbon sketches, clay imitations of greek statues or trash cultures. Nothing else. And god forbid you were an illustrator, a digital artist, had a more cartoonish or stylized drawing style, liked any other kind of plastic medium, or were an outright surrealist. Went from drawing every day, all day, to... well, once every two or three months when my recurring commissioner hits me up for whatever new and exciting character they've been cooking up.

This is so incredibly relatable. My voice minor in college destroyed my love of singing.

I had a similar experience when I went to college the first time for music education. My flute professor broke me and I quit the program. It also felt like a part of my personality had just died. Thank you for sharing! I’m eagerly awaiting the next episode.

1) bomb-diggetty took me back to junior high 2) I only had Disney+ in the last couple years so I got the helicopter away-inator reference and love it 3) No one told me I sang well until after I had voice lessons. My mom thought I was tone deaf until I was 7 and picked out Yankee Doodle on the piano by ear. I like to tell people this after that compliment my singing voice and claim they wish they could sing. Anyone can learn to sing well because it is something that can be taught that is very physical like a sport. Singing training ruined me enjoying music too. I started noticing when they made mistakes more and inwardly critiquing their form, their breathwork or their pitch. I have also taught voice lessons to kids about to audition for the first time in their lives. I gave the parents a heads up that it was not going to change the outcome of their audition that they get 1 or 2 lessons beforehand but the child might feel better prepared. It would be like expecting a kid who occasionally played catch in the backyard by throwing the ball straight up and catching it get go to high school tryouts and be made pitcher. Even my own child decided to audition for the school play 3 times and kept asking me to only help prepare for the audition a couple weeks in advance. This last time they finally asked for voice lesson work 2 months in advance.

"my voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies and i'm okay with this / i think it's silly to be ashamed of your art because it's not in a museum and of your voice because it's not selling out stadiums. there will always be people who enjoy and appreciate what you can do." - Tumblr user venuskissed

Your family sounds a lot like ours, with one key difference: we didn't have a dishwasher, we had piano lessons. Buying that piano had been a stretch, and I remember the day that our piano tuner told Mom that she knew of a much better upright selling cheaply, and how Mom collected my sisters's saved money from Christmas and birthday gifts from godparents to cover the cost of moving the piano...and borrowed my $20 from my (comparatively) wealthy godmother to meet the cost of the piano. Priorities. Nine of us lived in an unremodeled Victorian with one bathroom, three bedrooms, a kitchen table (no counters), open shelves (no cabinets). I was in high school and had a job before I had a dress bought new for me (I bought it). I was in junior high before I used my godmother's birthday money to buy a pair of jeans.

This is so similar to my experience with art school. It ruined drawing for me in a similar way. It got to the point where drawing became stressful because I felt like I could only draw things that were either commercially viable or improving my drawing ability in some way. I couldn't just draw, which was my primary way of unwinding before. It's been twenty years and I feel like I only started to get over it a few years ago. I've started to just draw dragons and horses for my kids, it's so much better. They are very easily impressed.

This story was so relatable for me, though on the visual arts end. I went to a Christian school with a tiny arts department, and did art class and band all the way through high school. I decided to major in art, thinking that I could get into portrait and wedding photography to pay the bills. Preparing that portfolio was one of the most stressful experiences of my teenage life, I’d had no training except my twice a week art class at school and whatever I did on my own at home. I did manage to scrape into the program at my state’s university. But the weekly reviews, in which my professors would tear my work to bits, crushed something inside of me. I quit the program the day before the second semester of my freshman year, and didn’t really draw or paint again for years. I’ll do projects with my kids sometimes, but to this day, I wouldn’t say I’m “good” at art. And the joy of creating it has never fully come back, over 2 decades later. Maybe someday. The flip side of this is that what I switched to was…music. I’d chosen to minor in it that first semester, because I didn’t want to quit the flute. My flute professor, whom I’d been taking lessons with for that first semester, was wonderfully supportive, giving me the go-ahead to switch into the program with one day’s notice. And after having finished that degree and spending a huge chunk of my adult life teaching music lessons, I don’t think any of those people in your teen years were lying to you. I did have a few students who went on to study music at the college level, but I had many more who didn’t. And I always saw my job as encouraging their love of music, no matter how much natural talent they may or may not have had. I’d give constructive criticism when needed, but tried to always balance that with encouragement. So even though that chair guy traumatized you a bit (and I absolutely get being traumatized by judges in music auditions or similar situations), I’m glad you had such a good experience with your vocal teacher and are beginning to enjoy singing again.

Your style of telling stories is amazing. I love your stories so much.

Thank you for this video! Oh, how I can relate! I trained as an opera singer, and I too felt like the pure joy of music has completely shifted since I started studying music seriously. I still find it back once in a while when performing, but it's so rare. Now I teach more than I perform, and I really try to preserve that joy in my students. But I guess our job as performer is sadly not to indulge in our appreciation of the art, but to let the audience savour it... Anyway, thank you for letting us in on that subject! I wonder if most people feel the same about their particular passion turned into job.

This video was wonderful. You're a great storyteller and your honesty and reflection is so nice to hear. I can't really relate to any of it because there's not a musically-gifted bone in my body, but the life lessons and experiences you described are so valuable and make me reflect.

As a fellow homeschooled theater kid listening to this I kept going 'yep this explains a lot, no wonder I vibe with your videos so much' XD and I also stopped singing in front of people by the time I graduated college (for different reasons, but still shame based) and haven't gotten the joy back yet--although I've joined a chapter of Sweet Adelines and it's helping!

I can relate to the harsh brother criticism. When I was a kid my brother told me my singing was so bad it made the dog howl. The dog had separation anxiety whenever my Aunt left (it was my Aunt's dog) but I didn't know that at the time so I stopped singing. I still don't sing in front of people. If I have to sing in a group I lip sync.

Still love your first channel but I'm so happy you decided to start this one too ! Now there's even more Charlie ❤ Ps i love the second camera mini sidebars

Hi!!! Long timer here. I thought to request that you do a video about all the sewist channels you follow on RU-vid and love (or at least like😊). You mentioned once that you subscribe to everything and your favorites tend to put up new content on the weekend, so we know you’ve got a lot in your online library 🙂 I seem to be getting fed a lot of unhelpful suggestions by YT despite becoming much more specific in my search queries. I am living in the Netherlands but the country of origin of most of what is fed to me is the US, which is fine since I’m an English speaking Californian 😂 But id love more diversity in my feed. Anyway! I’d love to know who you’re watching!!!

I'm listening to the audiobook of The Crystal Singer, by Anne McCaffrey, and I'm struck at how the intro reminded me of this part of your life you shared with us. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend the book (and author - Sci fi 😊)

I’m a current music/voice major at university and boy howdy do I hate the practice rooms. I loathe the fact that I can be heard especially when I’m learning a new piece and I don’t necessarily know where it’s going. The thing I find comfort in is that I am learning to make mistakes in front of people (kind of) and still be kind to myself about it. I’m at the beginning of what feels like a very long process of teaching myself that making mistakes does not make me a bad person and therefore, it is okay to make mistakes out loud.

Now I've got Let's Go To The Mall stuck in my head🙃 I love random singing😄

I’m so sorry that you lost the enjoyment of singing. It must have been devastating. It would kill me to lose that. I feel like a lot of people without singing experience can’t really tell if someone is actually any good or not. They can only tell if someone seems loud and enthusiastic and hits roughly the right notes (and sometimes they can’t even tell that.) So I don’t think everyone you ever knew was basically trolling you. I think they genuinely meant it. They probably did think you sang like an angel. I think that the musical chair was not very understanding- I guess they weren’t used to students who had not been in 100s of school shows and auditions and probably really had never had someone audition before with essentially zero training or even school experience. They probably just didn’t realise quite how harsh they were being because they must have assumed you’d had a lot more experience with performing or at least some training. Even if you told them you hadn’t any I think they wouldn’t have believed it because it wouldn’t make sense to them that you would rock up to a degree programme audition with zero experience and knowledge. So you must have been actually exceptionally good for someone with zero training or they would never have let you in. All that doesn’t help since it’s so long after the fact I know. I think auditions are brutal and I love singing but I’m scared of people and so always avoided them like the plague. This one time I did an audition at school I didn’t get the part I wanted (it was the main male part I got - it was an all girls school) and (stupidly) I felt humiliated I didn’t get the female part and turned it down. I felt like it was because I was too fat. Which is sad because I think I would have loved performing and I wish someone had encouraged me to do things even if I thought I was fat or bad at it or that just because I got a male part it wasn’t necessarily a reflection on how I looked and was a positive thing because I got a part! But we often lack that support when we need it and I think I must have come off as so arrogant and rude for turning down that part so I always feel doubly humiliated remembering that incident. I never have had the confidence to audition for anything else. I always think you’re so confident and brave to sing on camera even the brief moments that you do break into song and I always admire your voice. I hope you find a way to truly enjoy singing again.

Hadn't really thought about it, but I used to always love singing as a kid in like pur concerts and stuff, actually had a couple solos (at somewhere between age 9 and 13, so definitely not adult voice). Stopped after someone complained my loud caterwalling. If I'm in the car solo, I'm singing, it keeps enough of my brain distracted to focus on driving, and sometimes I sing at home to/when I hit flow state, but only my dogs hear me. Never again knowingly around people, and definitely not if I have windows open such that folks might hear me 🫤

I have a good giggle every time you reference Phineas and Ferb. Glad it's not just me. I got my degree in Forensic Science but, thankfully, quickly realized that getting an actual job in the field would have sucked all of my enjoyment away. Instead, I prefer to be an armchair CSI & shout at the TV when no one wears gloves, or photographs a scene before collecting evidence, or lets the profilers enter with SWAT for REASONS, I guess. 😂

I also had several older sisters. That changes the dynamics a lot! Even though we are in our 60s, the shock that I would do something well,excellent even, is almost too much for them to handle. If we are not careful, we will see ourselves through their lens. You accepted his assessment of your voice as the only one that was truthful. In my experience professors are rarely unbiased. Enjoy your voice!

I hate that it's basically impossible to figure out how to audition for college unless you've got parents who are definitely in the know and (not or) teachers who are very much into that field, by which I mean usually that they also are professors at a college, if not that one. (I have a BA in music and so do both of my parents, so I know from whence I speak.)

Agree with many commenters below. I think the people who said they liked your voice before you got anywhere near a college actually liked your voice and thought it sounded nice. I've always loved your little singy bits in your videos. I've noticed people have a preference for volume and confidence or false bravado. There was a girl in our town who did not have a good singing voice in my opinion (I never told her this). To me, it lacked grace and joy and had a harshness to it. But she got all kinds of praise and opportunities. Why? She was loud. She could sing over everybody and her voice stood out in a choir. So she got things like solos. Why? Everyone knew that everyone in the audience would hear her and understand the words she was singing. Her volume also meant that if anyone else had the solo, you'd hear her over them anyway. I think that kind of volume just impresses certain people. They think that's what "good" singing is. You can also see that in certain kinds of mainstream pop. The idea is to belt, do runs and show off and I think people think anything that approximates this is good. Billie Eilish's whisper style was a real counter-narrative and surprise to everyone. People tend to have problems with quiet singing. It's assumed to be a lack of skill. As for the audition guy, I think sometimes people don't choose their words carefully or realize how literally or deeply their words will be received. I'm sure I have been this person from time to time in my life (about things that aren't singing or art related). Sometimes these are people who are used to reminding small town star kid that here, they're just another student and they have things they need to work on over the next few years. They forget that sometimes they're not dealing with small town star kid and the last thing they need to do is put them in their place. I'll also say you were lucky to grow up in a house where spontaneous singing was a thing. One of my missions is to get people to sing, draw, dance whatever because I've found that sooooooo many people stopped doing these things as children because someone felt the need to humiliate or shame them about it. Heaping constant praise is no better. Just let singing or drawing or whatever be a part of life or a thing people do for fun that doesn't need to be commented on. Finally, do people think Neil Young has a voice that a voice teacher would rave about? Does anyone think he got constant or any praise for his voice when he was younger? What Leonard Cohen did can barely be called singing. (I'm Canadian. Can you tell?) And yet, both of these singer songwriters have made (past tense for Leonard) life sustaining careers from it. And they're not the only ones. Let that be a lesson to us all.

Listening to how you stopped singing broke my heart🎵🎶💔 ETA- Lol, you needed drunk karaoke!

My dad was a choral music major and voice minor, and was in choirs that won Choir of the World twice. I knew I was not ever going to be THAT good. I’ve almost always had some sense of proper technique I needed to be doing, and I have a different don’t-critique-me-plz voice I do when I’m messing around. My biggest vocal skill is blending in a choir I’m going to join everyone else in saying the people before college probably weren’t just humoring you, it was just a different standard of “beautiful voice” than a chair of a vocal department had.

Was driving my kids and singing with the radio when my youngest (about 2 1/2) told me to stop singing. When I asked why he said it was because I "didn't sound good". I'm sixty now and whenever I do sing, I intentionally sing off key and bad. I throw in some yodeling and Goofy yuks and then when he thinks I sound bad, it's for real. It's (??word??) to think that something can effect us for so long.

Can I just start off with how delighted I was to hear you use "shan't" in this video! I think it a highly underused word and I'm ever so happy whenever I hear it used! I love to hear your little chats and am happy you started this channel. And your stories are very entertaining. As an ADD, extroverted introvert, I very much identity with many of your expressions of feelings you share in your videos.😊 Share on, Darling, share on!

This was so healing for me to watch. Wow. I had a horrible, awful audition experience in college and didn't end up making it into the program for several reasons, one of them being how rude my audition judges were. I didn't end up doing any other theater/music performances in college besides one semester of choir. It was crushing, and frustrating, and deeply painful. I finally went back to acting after 5 years away (at the encouragement of my now-husband), and have never been happier. I spend my evenings at community theatre performances supporting my friends or at rehearsals, and I get to create great art with much less pain and stress.

Charlie I feel this story so deeply. I grew up being told that I was very good at the flute. I played with joy, and played all the time. When I got accepted to one of Canada’s top universities as a flute major I was delighted, but it quickly became exactly as you described. There was no more joy in playing, only practice, work, and constant analysis of whether I was using the right techniques and tone. The sad part is I never had any ambition of performing, as either an orchestral or concert flutist; I was there to earn my degree with the goal of becoming a teacher in mind. It’s been fifteen years since I graduated with my degree, and I still can’t play for fun. I can barely listen to music anymore because I can’t switch off the constant analysis they trained into me. I’m so glad that you’ve recovered some of your joy in singing - it makes me hopeful that one day I might pick up my flute and just be able to play again. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for sharing!

Sounds very similar to my college experience but inserting band in public school. I wasn't able to quit even though I figured closer to graduation that this was a hobby more than a career path. I did want to get that piece of paper. I don't play really at all anymore. Oh well.

As a long time viewer of the Stitchery, I can't lie-- I caught on to you mentioning listening to musical theater songs, and even you having VO over a clip of you singing along to something, and I was curious. I thought to myself, "I know Charlie has acted in things" (source: Sashiko video, at the very least) "so it makes sense that she'd be into musical theater, why doesn't she sing more?" This answer is heartbreaking. I also experienced a wild chain of events tonight that made this video very relevant, especially considering the fact that I started it and was interrupted halfway through before getting to see the part where you talk about what college was like. I auditioned for America's Got Talent when I was 12 (not on camera) and when I never got a callback, my father told me that it must be because I simply "wasn't good enough." It crushed my soul. And maybe he was right-- I wasn't (and still am not) the kind of inconceivably rare talent that gets you onto a show like AGT. But that doesn't mean I don't have any ability at all, and I think the same can be said for your experience with Mr. Chair. I like hearing your voice in the little snippets you let us have, and if you ever want to share more, I for one will be a very happy audience member. On either channel!

I'm going to have to show my ignorance, what is chest voice? Also thank you for showing me it is possible to casually design, cut and sew something without buying a pattern or doing exact fussy measurements for every step. I knew what I wanted for my fleece prepping and spinning apron. I had an old pair of heavy-duty work jeans. I now have a heavy-duty apron. Thank you.

Another masterpiece..you are a great storyteller ❤

As someone who spent many years in a very rigorous academic environment, I hear what you are saying here about appreciating an honest assessment and how important they are to being able to grow and make improvements, HOWEVER, something I realized (after far, far too long) was this: inadequate people are not accepted into the program that require auditions (or interviews or have a stringent application process). Acceptance into the program and not getting kicked out along the way means you have, at the least, the program's baseline level of "good." No matter what they said about how "not good" you are or how much you need to improve upon, people who were truly bad at singing do not get into a program that requires an audition after missing their audition time and then singing the wrong style of music. Which is to say, you are a good singer. You were a good singer before you got there because otherwise you would have failed the audition and you were an even better singer when you finished because otherwise you would not have graduated. It's tragic that they made you feel otherwise before you even started the program.

I on the other hand can't carry a tune in a bucket, 😂. You do have a lovely clear voice ❤

I have significant hearing loss in 1 ear so I sound great to myself...not to others! But the Bible says make a joyful noise...that I can do!! One of the reasons I love your channels is hearing you randomly break out in song - it adds another layer of enjoyment to your videos! Thank you for sharing your gift - no rolling your eyes...it is a gift to those of us watching your videos! 😃❤️

My college voice audition for the classical music department at the University of Iowa went pretty well, seeing as how I had a horrible cold and during "I Know That My Redeemer Liveth" all the snot in my entire head dropped into my throat and I momentarily felt like I might suffocate. Of course now my love of singing is greatly curbed by chronic illness destroying my larynx. So, yknow

Really enjoyed this story time with you! ❤

I really enjoy your singing. I don't care if you think you're a good singer. You're a joyful singer. My mother and I used to sing all the time and said that it was sad that so many people didn't live in a musical. Everything reminded us of song. We made the up or sang songs we knew. I miss singing with her but I still often sing. People say they love to hear me sing but I know I am not professional. But I love singing "for me" and not for a job. I pray that you're love of singing will continue to bloom and we can smile and know that goofy, good, or bad... it's the spirit that matters.

I have a really low vocal range and when I auditioned, the choir director suggested that since I could sight-read music so well, perhaps I'd do better as their accompanist, that they already had plenty of altos. Years later I sang MEN'S parts in a Korean choir. My dad's family sang the historic fo-sa-la shapenote singing where altos are both male and female. BTW my audition song was Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets."

❤ Also, as someone who lives close to JBLM, helicopters (usually flying far lower than they're technically allowed over neighborhoods) and round-the-clock artillery are the banes of my existence - and I'm not even trying to record anything!

I think you have a truly lovely voice. Just because someone is an instructor or even a chair, of a tiny college program, they aren’t the final word on talent. I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’ve met college chairs who have had no discernible talent or skill. Why they are put into a position to judge others, I’ll never know. I’ve always assumed that you must have starred in many productions.

This video showed me why I like you, and your videos so much! We have a lot more in common than I ever thought - I was homeschooled most of my life, church was one of my biggest social experiences, and we both enjoyed singing growing up. We seem to be similar in age, as well 🙂

I can hold my panic in so well that my blood pressure and pulse don't react. Doesn't mean I'm not in huge state of distress

I really enjoyed stitching along with you. Your story touches me, as I'm now on a crossroads and asking myself if I want to keep on working in the field that I studied for. I'm still unsure but I'm glad I heard your perspective.

Oh the university lack of information and general confusion for new students sounds painfully relatable... I live in a college dorm and somehow finding information about it is extremely difficult. I did extensive research before moving in for the first time because I was stressed as hell and I found out that my uni has like 4 different websites and 3 of them have a page for the dorm department and NONE of them had all the relevant info, and the little they did was mostly 5 years outdated. So my dad drove me to where I was going to be living and I spent 15 minutes standing in a line to get admitted before someone told me that I need to fill out a form beforehand and the guy who was supposed to give it to me had just gone on a break. So I went back, got the form and then spent nearly an hour standing in that quque again, and when it was finally my turn I found out that I actually needed to register for a spot in this queue in advance, which NONE of the aforementioned websites told me. I was literally the last person they administered without a reservation, after me the lady from the office went out and sent everyone else away. I asked the other students where did they find out about this reservation thing and all said either from word of mouth or some facebook page, neither of which I expected to need for this. So yeah, the audition story sounds relatable

I’m so sorry you felt compelled to stifle your singing. I find it absolutely delightful every time you break into song. It’s one of the things I love most about your videos. 🧡 I cannot carry a tune, truly, I’m somewhat hearing impaired. However what I lack in talent I make up for in volume; oddly enough some people don’t appreciate that trade off. 😁😂

No Way! Some one told me when I was 10 that I needed voice lessons and thereafter I was so self conscious about my voice that I had to bow out of my single Peppermint Patty lyric "Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band" in 6th Grade. Thankfully church choirs gave me room to sing despite being in the lower 25% of ability and after several decades of confidence building there, I found non-auditioned community choirs where I've had even more decades of singing pop songs and show tunes with people that have become really good friends. Charlie, I like your voice a lot whenever you share a singing snippet with us. Man, I don't even like to think about my life without singing. I hope you can replug into that that joy sometime by finding a fun community choir.

I have a somewhat similar (but also different) personal history with my singing. I was in a primary school that had music and singing ingrained into many aspects of daily life. It was a Christian school, first of all, so lots of church songs and a small service once per week, but we also did musicals, had our own summer camp songs, put on musical performances. And I lived to sing, always have. For many years of my childhood I would have always have some song or melody playing in the back of my head unless I was focusing, like a constant radio to sing to. I loved the songs we sang at school, I lived randomly singing at home. I was very proud of my singing, too (I wasn’t exceptional by any means, but I thought I was at least above average). I think I annoyed my surroundings with my singing. And after one too many “can you _stop_ singing?” and a frowning face at the higher notes from my parents, I stopped entirely. I did not sing, at all, unless it was for/in school. I would sing quietly, intently comparing my notes to the others (I was convinced I could not hold or hit a note, why else would my parents tell me to stop and grimace?), I never ever sang at home or where others could hear me. Singing had been such a comfort but I just couldn’t bring myself to torture my surroundings with my terrible singing. For context, I have been playing the violin since I was 5. I know music, can read sheet music, know how to hold and compare notes, on a violin. I was just convinced I could not trust my own perception of my singing because of the reactions I had gotten. In my late teens I slowly started to sing again. Just to comfort myself. I’d close the door so no-one would have to listen. It took until several years into university that I took the plunge and joined a choir. Even just to have someone qualified finally confirm to me that I did not belong. Turns out I can sing! I can repeat melodies, hear harmonies, adjust my own notes accordingly. In the choir I learned how to sing without over-exerting my voice and having to sit down (turns out you’re not supposed to support entirely through your throat muscles). That my inability to sing high notes for very long was just me being an Alto. When I was asked if I wanted to join an ensemble choir I almost started to cry! With that new confidence, I started to sing for myself more. Learned songs I liked, practiced pieces not to perform them but so that I could take them with me wherever I wanted (kinda me becoming my own little mp3-player). I know I shouldn’t base my perception of myself or my self-worth on the opinions of others, but getting that positive feedback in something that has been such a core thing for me, was incredibly freeing. I know I am not exceptionally good. I heard the people in my choir sing that have had 10 or 20 years of voice training. I will never be able to sing like that. But I’m okay with that. I never wanted to be an exceptional singer. I just wanted ti bring joy to other people with the thing that brought me so much joy. And I can finally do that again.

Buddy Hackett was asked about his many roles in musicals, when he isn't classed as a great voice. He said, "I don't have much of a voice, but I'm a pretty good actor, and I CAN SELL A SONG." It's a shame you didn't hear that...or that I didn't hear it soon enough. I flipped over to tech theater, too. Oh, yeah, about your grades? College theater needs people to graduate, too. I'm sure many of your colleagues didn't make it in four years, but you helped the school's averages.

I suspect that mister music chair also didn't mean that you had a bad voice, but rather an untrained voice. And the fact that he let you into the program despite that probably means you had a good voice for an untrained singer. I also suspect most of the auditioners had a lot more experience auditioning, and hence a lot more experience dealing with extremely honest critiques, since that is part of getting better. It makes me sad that the feedback killed your love of singing, but also glad that you found something you truly loved along the way!

I grew up also in a very musical family. My mom had traveled extensively with a gospel band playing piano and singing, she is currently the worship director at their church and she has sung the national anthem for a couple of speed skating meets. So the love of singing was ingrained in me from a very young age, practically in utero. I sung well enough to land the roll of the aunt and the judge for Tom Sawyer, I sang opera for about a couple years, and my music teacher who is very well known praised me for my singing voice. I attended a Orthodox Russian youth group for a few months and I was offered a spot on the worship team numerous times. Then I got into college. I don't know what it is about college choir kids, but they are absolutely cruel! I was singing a song after a Christian group meeting and I was literally told to shut up by a couple of said choir kids. Since then I have found it exceptionally difficult to sing out loud. I have discovered that often times it is your peers that are the harshest and most unfeeling critics of each other, whereas the older folks are absolutely thrilled that a young person is singing a song from their childhood.

I feel this so much. I went to art school and while it didn't exactly make me fall out of love with art (it was more the trying to be a professional artist that did that) it made me kind of... jaded, I guess? Once you've seen that much art it starts to dawn on you that none of us are truly original, we're all copying each other to some extent, and half the time who becomes famous is determined more by who you know or just dumb luck, being in the right place at the right time. I truly believe my art is beautiful and worth-wile but trying to sell it was soul-crushing to me. I'm still working on finding that joy again that I had in art school when I'd just started. Also, I love singing, took singing lessons for years as a teen (wasn't very good, either, but passable), sang in a choir and a band and belted along to every single song I could. I don't do that anymore because I'm too self-conscious. I miss it.

My only safe space to belt out as loud as I can is also my car o the high way 🙂 On the high way nno one can hear you sing 😜 I really enjoy hearing you talk about stuff and telling storys. Thank you for the video 🥰

I grew up in a musical family. I did all the things (singing, more than one instrument, blah blah), and was pretty good but not amazing. The thing that I was passionate about in high school, and the thing that got ruined for me when I started doing it for money, was sewing. I made a blue velvet suit jacket for a guy who was in a band, and he didn’t pay me. I made several garments for a woman who didn’t like the way they turned out. I guess she thought she was getting custom couture, even though what I had promised was that I would make the clothes using the patterns she had chosen from the fabric she provided. Talk about not fun!

My parents are both in a choir, and my mother could've been a professional singer if it wasnt for her stage fright. I've always loved singing, but I'm nowhere near as good at it as my parents, and especially my mom liked to point that out even when I was a little kid. So for the longest time, singing was something I only did where no one could hear me. In recent years, I've learned to accept that I can just sing as a hobby, and I don't have to be good at it. Now I'm finally more comfortable singing where other people can hear me and I realy love doing it even if it is not very good!

Thanks, Charlie ❤ I have a similar story, but it revolves around drawing rather than singing

I almost decided to go to college for music and I'm very glad I didn't, i love singing and bursting into random song. But i had a very similar experience with visual arts school which was my other favorite subject. I was very burnt out and hated making most types of art when I left college. I still mainly only do fiber arts to this day and rarely do more traditional arts because it's just not as fun now

I started as a music theory composition major for very similar reasons - I think I was decent, but I had a very simplistic folk style that just wasn't appreciated. I realized in the first semester that I didn't have the energy to move to CA and promote myself enough to make a career out of it so I switched to english lit and library science and never looked back (this also coincides with the moment I realized that I could get a job in my favorite place on earth so that helped)

I felt the same with art when I got a C on a painting I did that I loved and worked so hard on. It was heart breaking and it is what made me always shy away from doing what I love for work. I never wanted again to have my hobby or passion to be my work which I do find sad. Now that I am much older I am frustrated when things that are very part of an opinion get labeled by a grade or other type of value. I too live for musical theatre and often get asked if something is good or not. I try to make people see that it is an opinion and my tastes are not the same as others so I won’t put a good or bad label on it

I have similar experiences. I was always the singing child, without any further support. I received a scholarship to a music school, not because of my musical abilities, but because of good grades in all other subjects. There was a choir there for everyone. This choir sang the same songs over and over again. I didn't want that and tried to get solo lessons. My singing teacher was thrilled with my hearing and convinced that she could turn me into a great mezzo-soprano. I trained hard, to the point of inflammation of the vocal cords, which the teacher can't do anything about, it was my own ambition. Or my own pressure because I always thought I wasn't really good enough. Then my solo career began at this school and outside, classical lyric mezzo-soprano. At the same time, I began to notice evaluations that had previously been foreign to me: sexist value categories were suddenly important. I had to be “beautiful”. People should “want to see” me, I should be “more attractive”. In short: it ended in a massive eating disorder. And the refusal to ever sing again. I say today that I ended my singing career before it began. It would be years before I even started humming softly again, lullabies to my child. We now both sing all day long and my child has an unusually large knowledge of classical songs and arias 😉

I have many hobbies. And the easiest way to ruin them is to make it into a job. Well meaning people would suggest I sell things I make. I hate making things to sell. I make something because I want too; if I have to it's ruined. On the other hand, I've learned skills in jobs and have adapted those into hobbies. Since they were work first I don't mind doing them as work.

I hated my college's practice rooms for the same reason. Hearing about your experience with this crap audition makes me stop breathing.

love it!! i can totally get behind a helicopter away-a-nator. i also like to burst into song and not notice. i've had friends ask me to stop singing while watching tv, and a minute later have to be told again. got in trouble three times in a month while working as a waiter at a retirement home. never had the guts to try anything with it. i admire you for that. i'm glad that you found your passion and i love that you can sing casually again. i find it very enjoyable to listen to. lots of time when i hear people sing and try to be the main character... they may sound ok and be on pitch but it will just be so cringe! i don't know why. with you i very much can relate and feel a kindred spirit. as always, i love your vids!!!! LOVE FROM UTAH!!

I never sang in front of people, because I was so worried. But I loved it and wanted to join a choir. So I did, in ITALY, during our tour there. I was so nervous and my teacher said I had a pretty voice, but that I sounded like a mouse. Haha, Italian bluntness. He worked and worked with me, patiently, even teaching me E Strano Sempre Libera (most of it, before COVID hit). Then, I had an audition... and he worked with me on preparing. I was sooooo nervous. He said, "Do not be selfish, you must share your voice" I KNOW that I don't have an amazingly wonderful voice, but I went out there and I gave it everything I had. And I got a singing part! In an ACCENT, which was my favorite! Mrs. Beaver, the Cockney in Narnia. I got a kick out of being a beaver with a strong accent and practiced with Julie Andrews' version of My Fair Lady. My love grew as I knew more, just as you said it can! The love of theater with people I had to deal with in order to be in a play.... eh, that shrunk... A LOT. Now, if I am nervous, I remind myself to not be selfish and to share what I have to give.

You put on a pretty epic Peter Pan show!

Hhhhhhhh oh god my stomach got all knotted up on your behalf. College applications and that whole process are stressful enough without the pain of auditioning on top of it.

Listening to you talk makes me feel so relaxed. Thanks for sharing!!! I can relate to you in SO many ways ❤

I have a degree in teaching with tech and a natural science and math ability (I have family members who are are computer programmers and have worked with nuclear weapons). I use tech all the time in my work, and can fix a lot of things at work without calling tech support, which my boss loves. At home I am Little House on the Prairie, except for streaming Netflix on my Roku. I don't own a bread maker, rice cooker, or a toaster. I make bread in my oven , have award winning preserve recipes, cook rice on my stove, have mad knife skills, sew, crochet, and do cross stitch. I used to love learning programming languages and stuff in high school, but now that I work with tech so much, as home I need to reset and recharge my parasympathetic nervous system.

I've heard you sing snippets here and there in your videos. I've always thought you sounded great. I'm no professional and I had no idea you'd taken musical theatre at university. Sing like nobody is listening, you've got nothing to worry about!