@@jkgkj00 Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".
So true, I won’t be surprised if they give him early release. I hope she moves far away & cuts off any relationship linked to him. They released some dude from Tennessee & he went straight to his victim & unalived her…sad Bricen Rivers is the name
The woman that stole chicken wings from her job a school got 40 years or something crazy like that and an abusive psychotic kidnapping boyfriend only got seven years America. We got problems.
He should be serving life in prison. he will hurt someone else or worse when he gets out. Prison rehabilitates NO ONE. Especially not in years, which he won't even serve 7 years. Probably half of that with gain time. Sick. Our justice system is a joke.
YES! THAT is exactly how i knew it was time to get out. Im an outgoing person and i went to the store one day and couldn't look one person in the eye i felt shameful and ugly. I felt like everyone hated me ... Complete strangers .
@@Open_Your_Eyesthat’s been me my whole life. Abuse started with my step dad to my mom to her boyfriend and then my kids father after he got out of prison. I have so much anxiety it’s not even funny
I just made this comment !!! great minds think alike and yes this is serious and our children should be made aware early on one of the ways to combat this epidemic is through education early on
because the public education system is controlled by males, we live in a patriarchy. males look out for males, they don't wanna pull the fire alarm on themselves obviously.
I love her spirit but she is in the early stages, imagine that was your first relationship, very interesting and good story to hear because the situation is unique.
Stop doing this mental gymnastics of trying to avoid holding men accountable. The whole point of abuse is successfully tricking someone into thinking you’re a good man, then once she is in love with you, start doubling down on the abuse. It’s physical AND psychological. We should emphasize women reporting, but should also teach men to not be entitled and respect women.
When i was a kid and teen girl, i always was told i was mature for my age because of my mindset was not typically thinking at the level of a teenager or child. Never did i ever think it was an invitation to go off and do adult things. I knew that definitely for sure because i grew up in the hood and learned early on to keep my head on a swivel and never trust strangers, especially men. So this is not completely true.
I love how much her parents tried to help her feel safe by changing things at the house & even offering to move all together. That's the kind of support that all victims need. 😇🤗
I went through the same thing for years! I finally got to the point where I was done! So I did what everyone said and I left. Two months later my ex broke into my house, kidnapped me and drove us both off a 70 ft embankment, hitting several trees on the way down, and landing in a dry creek bed Thank god it was dry because I would’ve drowned if not because of being unconscious. Luckily I didn’t even have time to put a seat belt on so I went through the windshield. I had over 450 stitches in my face, 10 fractured bones in my face alone, broke every rib that I have, punctured lung, completely crushed my ankle, which is now a titanium ball and screws. I had to learn how to walk again, I had to go through several months of physical and mental therapy for ptsd, anxiety, and depression. Me ex got a 20 year sentence for kidnapping and assault and only did 4 years and was released! He has a great job, making great money and living a great life! While I live life every day looking in the mirror and am reminded of what someone I loved did to me. It’s a crazy sad world we live in and domestic violence is not talked about nearly enough! I pray for you and any other dv victims!
Was it because of “good behavior?” It’s always easy to have good behavior when your preferred victims aren’t in prison with you. Pedos and people who commit DV always seem to get out early for that reason.
I'm a survivor. He didn't hit me but, he did everything else. He pushed me once and because I stood up to him in that moment and yelled at him, he left me two months later for the girl he cheated on me with. I reached out to her and told her if she needs anything to please talk to me. They ended up breaking up 7 months later after he broke her front door and shattered the glass door. We're best friends now.
@@jkgkj00You need help. I’ve seen you make a couple comments earlier downplaying abusive relationships. Go do something productive, and put the phone down.
“No one else is going to want me” makes my stomach churn. Narcissists love to used your insecurities against you and create more. Along with women’s health classes we should be teaching young ladies psychology and red flags. I wish I had known at 16 what I know at 40.
Tell me about it. I think there should be a class for high-school students to learn the warning signs, etc. of an abusive relationship. My ex use to sing to me the verse from that 2000 song where it goes "and if you want to leave I can guarantee you won't find nobody else like me." 🙄
Understand...Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions". I'm glad she was one of the lucky ones!
@rose.g-The abusers also make you believe it’s all your fault. With my situation I thought that if I hadn’t been doing drugs I wouldn’t have met my ex and wouldn’t be in this relationship.
@@kristentrep5038 Right because if assault someone walking them to their door after the first date a 2nd date and eventual relationship gets replaced by catching a case and probable prison time.
There needs to be classes in junior high or high school or somewhere in this age range so the kids or young adults will know what to look out for and red flags or if you're with a toxic person. What's normal in a relationship and what's not normal. When you're just starting out dating you're young you don't know the signs and you need guidance from your family from your parents or some dating class. I'm so sorry for this woman I don't even know how she focused on her nursing school and classes. This is straight up insane!!!
If it makes you feel better, I had a unit in class about this my freshman year of hs! It was a class that taught us a lot of important things, like this, the dangers of substances, phone use while driving, etc
The authorities know where to look if he comes for her. She changed, and improved herself a lot. He will find a different person, one that he doesn't know. More power to her, she did a great job to better herself.
@@NARCDELUSION He is very likely to go after her. It won't matter what kind of person she has become. His life will have essentially stopped the moment he goes to jail.
It's so outrageous and despicable that a male with no criminal history can, all of a sudden, be so evil, violent and hateful against a female he is/was in a relationship with, up to the point where he thinks murdering her is okay.
OMG I recommend Lundy Bancroft's book all the time and he's probably gotten a royalty check just from the number of books I've bought to give away. I'm always glad to see someone else recommending it.
@@JustASmallTownGirl85 Thanks. Based off his pics...Looks like he might have dabbled in roids...and that could have partially led to his anger issues.
He's a narcissistic sociopath. I'm married to one, so I know. He's so charming, and is so attentive to OTHER women. LOOOOONG story. Yeah, and I'M stuck, cuz he takes all my fixed retirement income, and I have a farm and animals to take care of. Then, he tells everyone how crazy I am. I rarely leave my farm, except for dr appts or surgeries. I prayed that God would get his attention. He recently had an emergency surgery, and they discovered a rare cancer. He hasnt changed,...yet...but I trust God WILL change him. He is a bully coward.
I wish your prayer would have been: "i prayed that God would call him to the other side permanently". There fixed for you ma lady. Otherwise, sorry that you have to endure all that!! Stay strapped.
😢knowing that you need is income is a way of him to make you think you wouldn't be able to do it without him trust me girl you would be alot happier if you just make your own income and in a peaceful house
I'm so proud of you! I just got out of a 22 year abusive relationship. I did try leaving in the past (3 to be exact), but he would charm his way back in. Thought I could change him, I understand now that it couldn't happen. I may be broke, homeless and alone... but I would rather have that then be his punching bag any longer. He's in jail right now, facing a class 1 felony of threatening to slice my throat with a knife (which is all on the 911 recording). He's looking at 10-15 years in jail!
Some people grow up in this environment and enjoy the normalcy. Also, parents should be educating their children about what normal relationships should be like. Most just come up with the idea that their children will live and learn so there’s no point.
I had an ex hold me hostage in my apartment and beat me the whole time until I attempted to jump out my second story window when he finally fell asleep. He received 88 days to run concurrent with a gun charge. It's negligence on the laws parts for letting men get away with this.
That he only received SEVEN years for terrorizing her for years, kidnapping & attempted murder is truly INSANE. I'm thankful that she is telling her story & helping others. I've seen male & female friends, coworkers & sadly relatives go through mental/physical abuse in relationships and it's heartbreaking. When you know the signs you can help/warn that much earlier.
"I'll probably end up being hit by him but I'm not in danger here" This is scary and real. I have lived this reality, not to her extent but this type of thing is normal when you have no one to guide you and no one to show you the signs. Especially with the older generations who will talk down on you for leaving someone who is quite literally abusing you because they believe in "working things out".
Just because someone was given a felony title and was in prison for seven years, doesn’t mean jack. They don’t care about the laws. They should’ve pursued the highest punishment.
Hearing her story, I see alot of my own. Even though its been almost 30 years, when triggered, its like I'm there again, saying and doing whatever I have to, to survive. Being kept from my family, losing my friends, hiding cuts, bruises and bald spots, making excuses, the embarrassment, the threats, physical, mental and emotional abuse. It seems awfully easy for people to who've never been in situations like this to throw comments. Lucky you. Glad that you've never been in a place like this, begging and praying that you make it out alive. For so many women, making it out alive isn't the outcome. She is an amazing young lady, I'm so very proud of her and she will do fantastic things! Way to go sweetie👏👏👏💪👏👏👏!
My Mom with 6 kids was brutally beat by our step Dad for 15 years….. your comment leaving is the most dangerous time is so true…… so grateful that you had the wisdom to take your car and get to the police ♥️
You're so lucky to have a family that supports you like that, ive been through countless moments of abuse and my parents don't help and actively suggested i stayed with my abusers
This is a powerful story that should be a movie. I think it’s a good message for young girls in relationships today to recognize red flags. There were a couple times where I thought I would’ve gone to the cops. But we need to let young women know that this type of behavior is unacceptable. And obviously this guy had mental illness. She’s very blessed to be alive.
“well you had wanted to watch that documentary, about the serial killer, well i’m gonna make this such a big deal to the point we’re gonna have a netflix series” sent chills down my spine.
He asked why the pumpkin was still in the car, bc he saw it and was convinced it was proof you’d been elsewhere overnight instead of home, so he assumed it was proof of cheating. My ex was the same. Ended up with lifelong restraining order after he tried killing my baby and me. Spent last 23 years running and hiding from his psycho mood swings.
I'm a survivor. I was in her same position when I was young with someone a little older. It started just like this. Sending her all the love. We must do more to protect women in these situations. I was in the hospital multiple times but he was friends with the police & never had to pay for what he did. He was feom Greece and his mother insisted he could do no wrong bc he was the first born. She insisted it was my fault. I got out 15 years ago, moved to another state, he's STILL looking for me.
@@likethatidea9899thanks for ignoring the importance of the message and giving an English lesson nobody asked for. It must be challenging to be perfect in an imperfect world.
Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".
It's sadly pointless most of the time. The police mainly ignore the warning signs and don't actively get involved until something terrible happens. It's just sad that this is the world we live in.
I’ve been in this situation and even years after I got out, he would still try to come back while also trying to hurt me (showing me all the other women he slept with) it took me a long time to finally be able to completely block him. It’s been 7 years and now in a healthy and happy marriage
Many don't realize that 1.very few can afford therapy 2. It's so terrifying even thinking or planning to leave 3. the fear impacts yoir ability yo make decisions 4. crimes against women aren't treated as seriously as they should be 5. the trauma does heal somewhat but never completely
Abusers almost always hide their abusive behavior in the beginning. Most people don't chose known abusers. Then comes the threats to the victims and it causes a lot of fear to leave, because the abuse and threats escalate. There's a fear to stay, but often a bigger fear of leaving. Many victims that did leave (getting a restraining order and even relocating) end up dead, or their family ends up hurt or dead. This isn't about "bad decisions".
Yes ☝🏼that is so true plus it's not easy to leave someone every situation is different could the girl have left him before any of this went down Yes but if he was willing to do this because she wouldn't answer the phone plus whatever else led up to that just think of how things would have happened or might have happened if she told him she was leaving him He probably would have killed her immediately without even taking her anywhere
Devils advocate here but a lot of times people give the other person reason/reasons enough to do what they do… Idk man there’s a lot of truth to what she says with evidence.. but her lack of emotion is what questions it.. 🤔
@@nygalflheart333 what she said has some truth to it. A lot of people don’t understand what a healthy relationship looks like and so therefore it is very normalised to be in a toxic relationship. I don’t think she meant it as in. It’s okay but it actually is normalised.
She is saying the culture especially with social media, makes it look cool😂 and I agree. At 40 I'd never date today (if I was single) because everything toxic is glorified. People pay attention to these weird relationships where people argue and abuse each other over the internet. The more toxic, the more clicks and views and attention.
This is 100% my ex ! I got away from him, with our three kids, almost three years ago now! He was so scary. It's so hard to explain how it is to live with someone like this. I'm so glad my kids and I got away from him. I pray for all the others stuck with someone like that
I admire your desire to help victims. In 1996 I met my ex when I was 17 and he was 25😬 I didn’t know he was a narcissist and manipulative person. I got pregnant at age 19 and moved in with him and my mom was disappointed that I got pregnant out of wedlock so he used that to say that my family was not good to be around 😢 I didn’t communicate with my family for 7 yrs. We got married 1998 had 3 kids I was thinking he will change when he sees I’m so committed and I’m a great mom and wife 😢nope it got worse. He always threatened to kill himself and have knives so I always had to convince him to please stop that 😢Nowadays there’s more information out there and resources I hope more people reach out for help
@@teresaguerrero531 wow I’m so sorry to hear your story. So brave of you to speak up. Thanks for sharing. I hope to use my JD to help more women like you. My heart goes out!
He will come back for you once he gets out. I hope you learn self-defense martial arts or move to another city and don't use social media. Change your name.
What the actual hell is wrong with you ? Making this beautiful girl more terrified than she already is and way before it's even time for him to get released. She doesn't need these comments . I understand the concern but the way you worded it is way off putting I would rephrase and maybe say I would look into taking some defense courses just in case he has any funny ideas when he gets out. It's less aggressive which she needs right now otherwise she's going to feel attacked just by reading this. Just a suggestion and I know from personal experience I went through a worse kidnapping in 2016 and he just got out last month
@@Angie_Slay I mean hes not lying, she doesnt seem like the brightest and she alsi doesnt seem like she has any survival instincts "having to decide staying in the car or driving off was the hardest decision" wtf
The deadly key words in this sentence “ oh your talking to that person I don’t want you to..” BIG RED FLAG 🚩 the start of a deadly relationship. I’ve been through this when I was a teenager. All this story deals with fear 😧 control it’s sad that this still happens to people
Her saying "I've done harder things" really resonated with me. I'm a survivor of childhood abuse, and being 21 years old now and trying to work through that trauma, I say the same thing to encourage myself. I tell myself "I've been through harder things" when it seems like I'll never work through the damage that trauma caused me, I appreciate seeing another abuse survivor who does the same thing.
"Whirlwind, moving fast." Ladies (and young men), this is how abusers start. You get swept up in that early romance. Then the control starts. True adult love feels more like a friendship that turns into a partnership.
This is why I don't want a man in my life! I did get out of an abusive marriage and it didn't get physical but it was verbally, mentally and emotionally which did affect me. I'm glad i got out before it would've gotten physical. I would never want to meet someone online. It's so hard to trust anyone these days! They can lie on their profile and be a completely different person or like in this case, start out great then thier true colors come out! So glad she was able to get out of that awful relationship!
Men like this can’t hold their mask up for long. His mask slipped pretty early in their relationship. Early enough to see the signs and leave before it escalates. The problem with this girl is that she was not taught about these signs and was naive since it was her first real relationship. Men like this exist in real life and online. They need to be outed and exposed more often.
Its funny that she says people have always told her she's mature for her age. She seems quite childlike in some ways. Not a criticism, just an observation.
Seven years is too short, I hope she has it in the back of her head to protect herself when he is free, I know of a woman that was murdered when her abuser was free after ten years. Sometimes they keep that anger for the victim and blame the victim for their time in jail.
My Ex boyfriend did the same thing to me . I was kidnapped beaten and raped repeatedly and he only got 6 years..Trust me I feel your pain stay strong Sis!
Ladies, please don't fall for the older guys who chase after young girls and don't date in their age range. It's because they can't run game on mature women. Glad she's okay.❤
She says this so matter of fact. He was hitting her for a year. I wish she had people that were real friends and could have gotten her help. She was so naive. Shes still minimizing major red flags before hand. She needs therapy
I wish she had agreed to go to court….i understand she was fearful but 7 years will fly by and he will only have learned that he needs to not leave a victim alive next time….her wanting to avoid court may cost the next girl her life
She's definitely a survivor, but I also have to give kudos to her parents for supporting her. They did and were willing to do so much to protect her and make her feel safe. Glad she had thay support system.
The first time I went to my boyfriend's house I noticed there was a missing piece of the upper part of the bed. I asked him and he said he got so mad with his ex-wife that he hit it to avoid hitting her. I said that if he ever does that to me, I'll call the cops. He said I won't dare to do that. I told him, 'try me'. I was stupid enough to marry him. One day he got mad and held my wrist very harshly. I grabbed the phone immediately and faked a 911 call knowing that he will chicken out. Immediately he apologized because he's a coward. That was 20+ years ago. We have been married for 30 years and never again he tried mistreating me. I got lucky, but I encourage women that get into a toxic relationship not to wait a minute after they notice the first signs. It's not criticism of Leslie or anyone in her situation, it's just that thank God she was brave enough to go to the cops, but girls, run away as fast as possible. ❤
Good for you - I will never understand another human treating someone so badly yet they won't let them leave. I was out one night with a man I'd been seeing for a few weeks. He started an argument about how moody and hard to please I was, even though it was he that was moody and sullen a lot of the time. I told him if he wasn't happy with me then let's call it quits. He then got angry and started to tell me everything he didn't like about me. I jumped out of the car, locked myself in my house and never talked to him again. I heard later that he had a series of girlfriends that he ended up being physically abusive with. I had a lucky escape. I hope you stay safe.
@@Tommysays I didn't want my comment to be too long winded but he actually turned up one night at midnight about a month later as if nothing had happened. I did not let him in and thank goodness he left (revved his car as an angry gesture though). I hightailed it over to my mum for the night and yes I was very uneasy for a few nights, but he didn't bother me again.
Domestic violence needs to be talked about more especially in young people. I’ve been in a domestic violence situation at a young age and it took awhile for me to get out so I applauded her! For staying strong and standing her ground
As a survivor l know your story. Thanks for speaking out. In my day no one would help me. Yes leaving was the most dangerous and l am lucky to be alive.
Watch any video on what happened to Melissa Dohme, and her testimony now to teens for awareness on relationship violence. She gives a step by step education on what to look for, and when to run, as soon as the red flags show up in a relationship. It may save your life.
I really don't want this to come off sounding awful. And I have been kidnapped and sexually assaulted so this is coming from a place of knowing a little bit about what I'm talking about. But I would like to know was her dad abusive to her mother? Why did she believe this Behavior was normal? Why is it that a girl who is seemingly intelligent and in college, why does she not just immediately leave as soon as he goes into the mall to get the pants even if she didn't have her keys get out of the car and run to the nearest person. I'm just so confused as to why she did not have any self-preservation. And I'm not trying to victim blame, I'm truly trying to understand
