Finding Tim Fletchers videos about complex trauma has truly saved my life. At 45 yrs old I've had many traumatic experiences since birth and he explains it so well. I'm working through his videos to help my understanding and healing of my toxic behaviours. Thankyou Tim
I am two years late but I am also 45 and feel exactly the same way. I am so grateful to have found this incredible man and his way of explaining things
I heard Gabor saying similar things and his book mentioned all of that. I think the way in which he presented it is not as clear as Tim's who seems like a teacher by nature. I admire both of them.
@@marjol3in I think he understands trauma really well but when it comes to recovery, he gets to new age for my taste. He’s here and there and everywhere. I’ve never found a clinician that understands spirituality well enough to effectively incorporate into treatment, and spirituality is very important in recovery - spirituality in general and Christianity in particular, until I found these videos.
decades of wasted "therapy" being told i had anxiety and depression and therapists focusing on this while these were just the superficial manifestations of CTPSD. Thank you Tim for smashing through such superficiality of depression so i can see it as a manifestation of my core issues
I was trying to discover and heal traumas with spiritual modalities with some success but wo understanding how to interact and judge the situation in healthy ways bcoz you never learned it one doesn't go far
@@Ingrid-sb6my I disagree. This was my experience with therapy.: I went there. I talked about problems. I thought I was bringing up all my problems, and my therapist was helping me sometimes. I left therapy and then I would come back. Then, after a few years, I realized that in addition to talking to him about my problems and him helping me, that he was becoming for me the parent that I never had, he was a person that I could go to with any problem. He was a person where I could be my absolute true self. And so without me, even knowing it, therapeutic relationship was putting me in where I was being parented by a healthy parent. I’m sure he knew that all along..
Nathan, have you heard of ACA suppport meetings? That has helped me so much...its a 12 step support group and it addresses PTSD and all that goes with being raised in not just alcoholic and addictive families, but mental health, etc. dysfunctions...its very helpful...
@@scraidywolf7081Right, it’s a bitter, hard pill to swallow. I’m just learning about this at 43 years old, I lost me entire childhood, and 20s and 30s.
I just found this gentleman in the last 6 weeks. I'm 59 and had given up hope I would ever feel good in this life. For the first time everything that has happened is making sense. I knew things were wrong yet I could not put my finger on the cause, it was very much like a chameleon. A shame based identity has answered EVERY question...... things are becoming clear for the first time. Thank you Pastor Tim.
Your comment sounds familiar to my story I’m 58 and the understanding of what we experience in our early impressionable years are so powerful on our belief system sometimes,we are unaware of the disfuctional programming what a journey
Very important! There is another "F". Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn (to seek notice or favor by servile demeanor). See Complex PTSD: From Survival to Thriving, by Pete Walker.
This is the absolute best explanation of Cptsd that I've ever heard!!!! I can now stop searching magnitudes of books and papers for a concise answer. Thank you sooooo much 😁
What a joy that someone could cover every aspect of CT; explaining and affirming those of us that are so hurt! thank you for your understanding and compassion.
At 7:10 the definition of trauma 9:59 the event and YOUR PERCEPTION of the Event 15:08 good preface about parents 17:13 what causes complex Trauma 22:25 12 needs 💗 31:15 an interesting explanation of Fight, Flight, Freeze 🥶 36:55 Freeze 🥶 38:03 some people pretend to not care to not care about anything; some people numb themselves 38:52 memory loss bc of severe abuse or trauma 39:47 how the brain 🧠 stores memory
This is so amazing! After hearing this information, I can totally understand myself for the first time ever. Thank you so much for making this available to all. May God continue to bless you as you bless others.
Wow! I grew up with all these conditions. It's been a long time coming, but I am beginning to learn how to navigate my world. We disconnect from ourselves to survive and learn unproductive behaviors and blame ourselves. Keep learning to sort things out. You have to retrain your brain and connect with your heart, learning self-compassion. There is truth here.
Ive known this for years. Therapists and people around me retraumatized me by telling me it wasnt true. I wound up on mental health disability. Glad psychologists are catching up.
You explained this so well. I can never relax, I can never be silly it laid back or without worry. I grew up with a mom on meth and a dad always gone on the road as a truck driver. Belittled, mocked, parents didn’t act like parents, the house was putrid . Cat feces filling up litter boxes all over the house that my mom never cleaned. She was always ugly and mean. Called me a cunt, a heartless bitch when I was just a kid. I was fat. Had psoriasis on my firearms that I couldn’t easily hide. My clothes never fit. My parents didn’t buy me deodorant, or a bra. Everything was filthy . Zero consistent boundaries, zero consistency period. Hitting and fighting my siblings. Screaming fits. Cops coming by. Getting evicted and my parents telling us it was all our fault that we were getting evicted, that we destroying the house and that we never helped them do anything. 7 of us in a single wide trailer that smelled like shit and mold... my early life wasn’t as bad as others but it’s something I have worked very hard to reject, I work very hard to progress and to sort myself out. I still don’t love myself and I feel like I’m a liar, fraud, loser, incapable of making friends. I’m still trying though
That IS a kat of trauma, and if you acted out as a kid, thats a natural reaction for any child. I’m so sorry you suffered all of that. I pray this series helps you on your healing journey. You’re not worthless at all.
God is not done with you!! There is a plan and purpose for your life. Your ability to self reflect is paramount in healing. Please don't give up and trust in God to help you.
This is the first time I've heard what has caused all the issues, all these long years. I intend to soak up every single resource you provide so I can finally start to make changes. Thank God for you.
Thank you so very much for the kindness of these messages. There have been so few times that I have been validated in my suffering. I have laboured long and hard, looking for my responsibility to co-operate with Christ toward healing my damaged heart and soul. But I have also recognized that there are other elements involved, and that I am not in control of them. There is so very little mercy and compassion----and so much judgement.
Went no contact a few days ago with narcissist father. I see he had my two siblings hunch backed, hating ourselves and hating eacother by the age of 10. The straigher my spine gets ( I discovered yoga, and am 1000 classes deep ) - the more they all hate me. No contact is bliss. Over the next few weeks I'll be shifting social media, phone, email and address 😊
Every word of this hits home and it's wonderful to hear someone who gets it. It gives me hope that CPTSD can be overcome. Like all other children, I thought it was just me. And then repeated toxic patterns in adulthood.
I'm going to have to watch this over, I feel like every box was ticked but I have stuff from the military and childhood to deal with.. I wanted answers on having ptsd and being a parent and how I have effected my kids and wife. We are currently living apart but we all want to get back together under the same roof and it makes me really anxious, I'm in my first year of therapy and I'm struggling to explain how a life full of trauma has effected me.. My advice to anyone with Cptsd is not to soldier on in denial and tackle your issues before it explodes like it has for me.. Peace love and respect, God bless all here
its a vicious cycle... as someone with c-ptsd and a mother with untreated complex trauma please be honest with your children. In my situation the lies and lack of communication led to unnecessary confusion and pain.
Everyone is human and makes mistakes, the important thing is now you can recognize it and not only change your life for the better but also your kids! I am sure you are a great mom and will only continue to get better!
I hear you...try as I did to parent different, it was inevitable that they, too, would suffer...I love ACA support groups...it helps to forgive oneself when one grasps this CPTSD and generational trauma...
Even wartime PTSD is experienced secondary in the next generation, for example not just children of holocaust survivors but families of everyone deeply affected by traumas of war. The author of *The Body Keeps The Score* recalls how his father was deeply affected by the Nazi occupation he had been protesting in the Netherlands. And I now see how my own father was affected as a grade school child in Nazi Germany witnessing families and kids being taken away and firebombs destroying the downtown area. That is too much to process. My father was a very decent man but he never quite found inner peace and was always a bit tense; this in turn shaped how I react to life coming to them as an adoptee already adversely stressed for years.
I wanted to know what his credentials were . What qualifications has he ? He is not a psychiatrist yet bandies the word narcissist around when anyone who did the research would know you have to diagnosed by a QUALIFUED DOCTOR A Psychiatrist as being so.and few people actually are clinically diagnosed
Also, how's our drug addled culture doing after years of "diagnoses" by licensed "professionals" and a crap ton of unnecessary and extremely damaging pharmaceuticals? Not good at all. Truth is exactly that, regardless of who presents it Much Love 🙏🏻💕
For me too ... I just dont understand why my diagnosis was not even PTSD as they assessed me and many things have traumatised me in my life and they have never even swung that way , just said I have bipolar& after hearing this chap tall and explain as he has done ,very well!! It really does make sense crazy world we live in ay xx
Not really.i was very happy till age 5 with my grandparents n was fully aware off how great things are.then things went souer with my parents but it wasn't until too much of that was added that something changed n depression was irreversible till I eventually quit too
It is Christmas day today, and I was writing in my gratitude journal earlier. And I just wanted to say how grateful I am for Tim and Kim, and all they've done for me. Words cannot express my sincere gratitude for these people and their ministry. Thank you for your compassion, and speaking truth. I know they don't know me, but please tell them thanks from Amy Scott. Baton Rouge, LA USA
This is the best most easy simplest explanation ive ever heard on Trauma Complex Trauma No confusion no over complicated explanations here just strait out explains it correctly 👏
Your presentation is very clear and easy to understand, not overwhelming at all. This also one of the most helpful videos (if not the most helpful) that I have had the good fortune to discover to date. Thank you, thank you very much.
Thank you so much for the work you've done and bringing this series to you tube , you have helped me so much in understanding the confusion and pain that has haunted me all my life , as a 54yr woman that has struggled to survive 19 yrs of living in an extremely neglectful and abusive situation, you have given me hope that I can indeed heal my brain , I have already begun my healing process and have found that forgiveness sets me free from my torment ,especially to forgive myself , even though at times it is extremely hard . Again thank you so much , Bless you x
I can not thank you enough for standing there and delivering this crucial topic, technically taking all these pieces of debris and bringing it all under one roof. You are so right sir. I have worked in addiction field, social work fields and DV and with mental health issues.......I know what you are saying is right......as a society we just so so so need this to become mainstream. I have been saying 'are we asking the right questions about this mental health epidemic??!!' - for over 5 years now. Thank you again and keep up the momentum. I have circulated this as widely as I can. All social, DAT, DV, Criminal Justice and mental health, educational professionals need to be compelled by their managers to undertake your lectures as mandatory CPD update and discuss about applied practice in each field.
Something I wrote to my deceased parents a few weeks ago - 'Thank you for the rage, Thank you for the fear, Thank you for the praise that I would never hear. Thank you for put-downs, Thank you for the smacks, Thank you for weariness of never being able to relax. Thank you for the smoke, That I breathed before my birth, Thank you for the good advice, That I never heard. Thank you for the support, For the investment and respect, Thank you for the caring moments, That I would never get. I was your masterpiece. Your art lives on beyond you. Thank you for dying before you made it worse!`'
Counseling the traumatized is especially tricky because they rely on their maladaptations. So they are faced with giving up what seemingly works for them, for a system of trust. EMDR, Brain Spotting, EFT are all effective therapies to speed the process.
A lot of this is pretty well spot on. I lost my family several times from about age zero to seven, they were often flaky and careless. From then my emotionally immature adoptive home was often abusive and traumatic. Perversely I blamed myself and blocked things out, until well into my adulthood. There are still people in my life that try to enforce the old patrons if abuse, but they are worse off for it.
THANK GOD you have videoed this work!- Bless you for putting it up for FREE..xxxx You could so easily have packaged it up and sold it online..instead the utter kindness in you for 'giving ' it to us all , you truly are a blessing to us all...xxxx It is so helpful I am passing to on to many people xxxx
Life is really terrible when nobody loves you. You know they don't love you when they hurt you and or ditch you . So then they get a eugenic label to ensure nobody ever loves them . Thats why . Power
The revealing is giving choice of how I want to life my life. Cannot thank you enough for your passion in explaining what could bring harmony to the world
I came straight here after listening to your podcast with Theo Von. I thought I understood my CPTSD and you have unlocked a whole other mind blowing part. Thank you! I am so happy to have found you!
It's actually Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Please. Freeze or Please is very common with sexual abuse but is also common with other forms of abuse and even with triggers/flashbacks.
Ryan C think "people-pleaser". It is when, in a desperate attempt to get something over with faster or to alleviate tension or to make peace (even if it is more painful or traumatizing for you in the short-term) you do whatever it takes to please the individual who is or individuals who are traumatizing or abusing you. I could explain further but it would be highly triggering to many readers if I gave examples.
the 5 F's.. 1. Freeze(hesitation to comprehend what is happening)... 2. Fight... 3. Flight... 4. Faint(dissociation or shutdown due to sensory overwhelm)or.. 5. Fawn(doing as told in hopes the abuse stops, even momentarily).. Peter Levine discusses this in his book waking the tiger... Levine discusses somatic experiencing and how in nature animals discharge the fear response energy, however humans can recall, relive the past and imagine, try to control, the future, so the energy can remain unresolved... and when it's in the subconscious mind it is basically on autopilot.. awareness is important and recognizing
This just blew my mind. I've been doing EMDR therapy and now I have another layer of healing to add..I want to experience love with out all my other stuff
Amazing truth and explanation. Perfectly worded. Explains my life exactly in a nut shell. This is the truth that I personally sought to heal both myself and my parents all of my life. So well stated I can kiss you. God Bless your soul. ETA🌹
I had a severe case of this. After two years of getting out of daily trauma I am not so affected but I still am not right. There is something in me that is very big that looks at adults and thinks that they have no hearts. I love kids. They give me positive energy that lights me up. I find myself feeling happy when they are around. I also like the elderly. They do the same thing for me. But the people in between. They are just competing. Judging. Hoping you will fail. Wanting to be better than you. Rejecting you. They don't need you. They have their spouses and their buddies and they don't need you. Their hearts are dead. That is how I see them. Sometimes I see someone and I can see the heart in them. And they stick out like a beacon in the dark. I remember for a long time I didn't leave the house because I truly felt that there was nothing out there. Like the world was an empty barren wasteland. Very hard. Very confusing. I am always waiting for the next bomb to drop on my head. For people to turn and the monster to come out and they stab you in the back or abandon you......bury you to save their own skins or use you to hurt so that they can have a laugh. Sigh. I wonder will I ever come out of this. And ANXIETY. Some days I am full of it, and I am always anxious on some level. Only for you people here talking about this and helping me understand it and giving me the KNOW that there are those out there who understand and CARE....I would be dead now. Thank you.
Cptsd oughta take the puzzle piece logo from the Autistics. They don't like it anyway. Tbh, I'm not entirely convinced that ASD isn't related to trauma, too. When I was a child, I was mute, couldn't make eye contact, stimmed to self soothe, essentially shut down and disconnected and got stuck in that freeze response. My family was toxic and dysfunctional, and I was highly highly sensitive and felt all of their fear and stress and anger from the start. And my twin bossed me around and got me in trouble all the time. I wasn't allowed to have boundaries. There was no safety and it set me up for hell. Thank God I lived through it, and at 45 I finally found my voice. I finally said "NO".
without proper education, awareness and understanding people will continue to be threatened by each other and yes, there’s a lot of trauma in this world, especially when you see how many people are severely messed up psychologically and that we are helpless in many ways when it comes to assisting them, unless we have the proper forum set up to provide care and education
I was always trying to fix what was wrong, trying to understand why this was happening to me. This started when I was a kid, my first thoughts. It only got worse. When I was 10 I was fully abandoned by my mother. She never came back and she never asked me anything about myself. I grew up with a fake mom, she fake loved me, and blamed me if I complained that my needs were not being met. My brothers and sister don't understand any of this. That is Denial.
An excellent talk! Very easy to follow and very thorough. I have a few small critiques to share: 1. The presenter often says “that IS complex trauma” whereas “that can lead to complex trauma” would be more accurate, as the event is more or less damaging depending on the support system in place to help the child cope. 2. Our emotions originate in our bodies, not our minds. Fear is felt in the body before we even label it as fear. Emotions that bubble up but are them pushed down end up being stored in the body/nervous system, not merely the brain. The issues that result are not all about thinking, they are primarily about our ability to manage uncomfortable feelings / sensations on a somatic level. 3. In regards to a parent that shames a child’s when the parent is unable to meet their needs, the parent’s poor boundaries and inability to accept their own shortcomings will result in them trying to avoid their own painful feelings, so they unload it into their children in an unconscious effort to make themselves feel better, and that is how and why the trauma is passed down from generation to generation.
It breaks my heart that I don't know one person in my life who is not only aware of this stuff (trauma & dysfunction) about themselves or others, and is aware and wanted to fix/address said issues. I am trying to heal myself, all alone, with no Therapist or anyone to relate and or discuss this stuff with. Makes me feel completely alone in this life. 😢
subconscious levels of processing trauma has to do with the unconscious, spiritual residues that are arising continuously in life, which basically brings historical death memories to the surface and that includes violent death memories. Therefore, there is a lot of subconscious feelings of terror and also hatred that are arising and people are not conscious of it since they’re only able to feel on an energy level and energy is only 30% of our basic feelings and our basic feelings also include elemental feelings. The elemental feelings are usually denied or not spoken of as often as the basic feelings yet they are all mixed together, and there is a way to re-integrate the authentic feeling body to be conscious of the feelings that are deeper than energy, and this is essentially the level of awareness that you have when you’re a baby or a young child and also pregnant. Women can experience this level of feeling also because of the baby growing within them, which was created on a wisdom level and a wisdom level is the level of authentic feelings. Anyway a young child usually has a psychic break at age 5.
Wow you hit the nail on the head. I remember when I was n the 3rd. Grade, a 6th grade held a knife at me, its inmy head as if it just now happened 4 my lunch money , school bell ranged just in time, he said you're lucky. See I've been researcher why I'm different from other people. I was born a highly sensitive person, also INFJ. I remember to much like a Kodak moment I have had traumaMy youngestson died 12yrs ago, and next mo. Is his birthday gonna be a sad month.
His definition of CPTSD Described my childhood to an absolute T!! My goodness! He's describing my whole life until I launched!! Never felt safe, no boundaries, no wonder I hate myself! I am noticing healing from God since He saved me.
Thank you so much for bringing light to our hearts. Finding Freedom is exactly real FREEDOM. To know who we are at this point in life and to know that is not real us is real FREEDOM. I knew deep inside me that I'm not who they told me to be BUT I didn't know how to explain it so you made it CLEAR and I am watching every video you have on your RU-vid channel so I can learn more and shear it with people who like Realistic Recovery and real change. I thank you again from my heart:-)
This can be a good thing and I believe God allowed this and woke us up so the hyper vigilance is just discernment and awareness. Jesus says be on alert the enemy prowls around looking for whom he may devour.
At 71 yrs old, you make so much sense. Your information is so very much help in understanding and healing. I hope that many people listen to you and it helps them to heal better. Especially younger people. Feel i had ADHD, maybe dyslexia, or ADD. Its hard to find someone to test me. Although i've taken free tests online and i fit into there someplace.
Spirituality is absolutely NOT a necessary component to recovery from CPTSD. I am in nearly 100 percent remission, and have no need for supernatural beliefs. My recovery is completely reality-based, and requires no magical thinking.
Thank you for sharing that. I feel the same way. I have enough "fun" trying to feel and deal with my emotions I don't do "Spirituality". It has no place in trying to overcome C-PTSD, imo. Peace !!!
This was the missing peice for me. It has taken me about 16 years to actually stop running. I was diagnosed bipolar type 1 a few years ago after my first manic episode with a side of psychosis. I had no idea what the fuck was happening and it was terrifying, my family thought it was demonic. I know I am Bipolar now but CPTSD sounds so much closer to what I have felt all these years. I wasn't abused everyday but I had multiple sexual abuses (molestation at 7 and I was raped by multiple men at 19) and right after I was raped my best friend died in an accident and there were other events and situations of a less traumatic scale but looking back on my life story I see the role they played. CPTSD sounds exactly like what I felt for so many years. Only I never got help ir spoke to anyone, I just kept it a secret and hid in my delusions and substance abuse. I was a sensitive child for sure and it was like I felt rhe pain and suffering of others very deeply. My own suffering I struggled to cope with in any responsible way. My advice for anyone suffering for anything, get help and find a way to work through it, fuck the guilt and shame and fear of judgemnet because your health and sanity can truly be compromised long term if you don't confront what really hurts. For the past year or two I've been trying to make sense of it all and hearing more about CPTSD is, I feel a missing peice of the puzzle. So much is coming to the surface after so long, I am coming to the surface, where do I even go from here? I want a new life. I want to move on already. I'm tired of waiting for rescue, I want to rescue myself!!
And you will rescue yourself through parenting and partnering yourself by creating an environment that is peaceful and honest and finding a good psychologist who understands trauma I believe this is the road that leads back to body mind and soul connection self love self loyalty and the ability to connect with other people vulnerably intimately but with discernment while maintaining boundaries where required.I would recommend the work of Gabor Mate Peter Levine Van Der Kolk All authors researchers and presenters and on you tube Richard Grannon and Dr Morse.Good luck on your way back home. Love light and grooviness
Often times, my adoptive mother would pair her beatings on me (fists, sticks, knives, rocks - whatever she could immediately reach) with horrifying statements such as, "We never should have adopted you, we should send you back, you should be grateful, you're the reason our family has problems, it's your fault if you get beaten with welts, cuts, bruises, and bloody face from being slapped and beaten about your head because you are bad and have no worth, etc.) She was evil. She forced me to eat food i had thrown up. For example, i don't like mushrooms. Knowing this, she opened a can of slimy mushrooms into a cereal bowl with nothing else. That was my dinner. I swallowed it down as fast as i could, but it grossed me out and a few seconds later I had to eat the slimy slop of mushrooms i had just thrown up. It was a bad night leaving me wondering when this might happen again because there was never any warning she would do this shit to me. Another example: I was a very active girl with the appetite of a larger teenage boy, so I wanted breakfast, lunch dinner, and snacks to keep me going anf feeling well...but I was never allowed to have breakfast even though i would beg and beg. Sbe always said i didnt need it and that i was a whining, ungrateful crybaby. One morning, when i was 7, i asked and was shocked when she said, "Okay, but this will make you late for school", and she poured me a bowl of cereal. I didnt like the taste of the cereal, but the fact that it made my tummy feel better was worth it. I finished it and thought at one point, why would this make me late for school? She asked me if i wanted another bowl of cereal and said sbe would drive me to school instead of me walking the few blocks i always did. She then poured me another full bowl of cereal. I was shocked at her generosity and ate the cereal though i was no longer hungry and the taste of the cereal was even less appealing. I was getting confused and scared when she poured the third bowl wihout asking me and I tried telling her i was ready to go to school. She forced me to eat 7 bowls of cereal. My point is, where there is physical abuse, there is also almost always blatant emotional / psychological abuse - its all part and parcel of an evil package. I will agree though that the physical scars are easier to deal with. The most intense pain i have ever experienced is watching a loved one getting beaten, or beaten to death: my adoptive father beat my twin sister (he was 6", my twin and i are barely 5", and at the time we were only 11-12) in the basement of our maternal grandparents' house on Christmas eve. Everyone else upstairs was laughing having a good time and didnt hear her screaming. I just remember feeling helpless and terrified for her while screaming, "NO! STOP! NOOOOOOOOOO!" It seemed to take a long time for him to stop. I could hear his large fists landing on her body. Afterwards, he marched back upstairs to join the party like nothing had happened. He is also a convicted pedophile and denies his father ever molested us. I also had to watch my maniacal and bipolar crazy adoptive mother beat my dog, Corky, a cocker spaniel to death with a hammer. Her excuse? "Emergency vets dont exist at 5am, we have to kill him." She had to strike him many, many times. Us girls screamed and screamed amidst the horrifying crying of my dog, my best friend, getting beaten to death. Those scars never heal. They told everyone we were unstable and made up stories. We were trapped. Now, my adoptive father is slowly dying of cancer and part of me doesnt care and another part of me is horrified that i could feel that way. I didnt completely renounce the adoptive family change my name and move away. Thats why i havent seen or heard from my twin in 10 years. In her heart of hearts, i betrayed her by staying and attempting to forgive and reconcile with them. Our mother adoptive mother recently told me that we were never mistreated. Only a few years ago, she offered some semblence of an apology saying, "We did the best we could." Not exactly an apology, but at least acknowledging that we may have experienced pain during our childhood, but stopping short of accepting any responsibility. Since theyve been divorced over 20 years now, they each blame the other for the horrors we had to endure. Fake Christians who adopt only to elevate their standing in the community are the worst and thats exactly what they did. And now, they dont seem to appreciate my company as an adult so much as they just *expect* it. They say children who dont honor their parents go to hell. At my grandfathers funeral, my dad gave him the highest honor knowing full well theyre both wife beating, child beating pedophiles (who tithed *every* week to their local Christian cult church -4 square- so corrupt!). Im a bible believing Jesus believer who never goes to church. Fake Christians like my adoptive parents look normal, so back in the 80s and 90s, before internet and social media, we were truly trapped in hell with fake Christians.
Yikes! After years and years and years of therapy, and still no clue as to why? this information is invaluable in terms of filling in parts of the why - maybe even the whole thing! Can't wait to view the sessions that help with what to do about it! I hope that's what they contain so I might still have a chance to live a more satisfying life - beginning at age 63!
I feel like half my life was wasted trying different meds and treatments for severe anxiety and major depressive disorder. So did my poor mother, who suffered horrific abuse and neglect as a child. I want so badly to stop this generational trauma, and setting an example for my adult daughters to work to that end. I don't even know how to start from this angle.
If you're interested, we're starting a 12 Basic Needs course April 1. It's introductory level, but will help with getting some vocabulary and agency (words and tools) to help you as you begin the journey of Complex Trauma recovery. It will be hosted by one of my facilitators, Morag Clark - who shares her own recovery journey which you might find helpful. The link to her video is here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-DPrSDytSetQ.html . The course is on our website: timfletcher.ca
I love the compassionate and straightforward and insightful nature of these talks. It is so nice to hear him talk about the things nearly noone else seems to know, and (my family) chooses to deny. I want to add my appreciation and to mention the Donna Eden energy work. I see a practitioner (very powerful changes) and she has a book that teaches you to help yourself with specific techniques.💞 Also, my being forced to heal myself from a complex illness has shown me we can look at trauma as a gift-bearing teacher.
One issue I see is that there's often times when the balanced individual doesn't have peers or people available to interact with that aren't so traumatized that they are properly emotionally regulated. That's my life. I look around and can't find anyone that isn't an emotional mess or an addict or runs away when they are given acceptance and love.
Literally crying after watching about how people with cptsd escape into fantasy. I have done this since childhood and I believe I have a dissociative disorder 😐 I'm scared about all the work I still have to figure out how to do and what I need to find out to heal. It's so overwhelming
You are not alone! Be brave! At least you are still here, aware now, and haven't died by suicide like many have. I highly suggest you take this time to pray and connect with God.
I come from a toxic and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my sense of worthiness, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing, I escaped that and went to go be with extended family that found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately what seemed like a gift from god just turned into something that only just contributed to my mental and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, it’s just bloody unfair to me how my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’ while my upbringing pretty much got robbed by my narcissist father and that it’s something no kid should ever have to have gone through. Yet, people on the internet tell me “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even an ex friend tells me “well they raised your brother and not you why do you think you deserve everything your brother always gotten.” …but to me it’s just really unfair, and it has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination.
I love this video and am so grateful to Tim. As someone with cptsd / complex trauma and that has extensively worked on it, 'sensitive kids' with addictions I believe end up that way because their parents do not help their nervous systems to learn to self-sooth. So their nervous systems are easily dysregulated, hence the need for the addiction to soothe themselves.
