I am an adult that has autism and I like how you treat your son who also has autism. My own dad turned his back on me as a kid because I have autism and epilepsy. Family members and people need to remember that kids didn't ask to be born with these problems. Keep being you and everything you and your family is doing.
I'm truly sorry you weren't given the love you deserved from your father 💔 I had 2 parents who greatly failed me in severe ways however at 50 I fully understand that they sadly had nothing to offer me because they themselves were broken and it was not a reflection on me rather the importance of breaking damaged chains! I pray you have realized you are worthy of all the love and you are wonderfully made just as you are🙏
@@jcyoungquist 60-odd year old Aspie here. Remembering back to my own childhood, I slept with a little reading light and a folding screen erected at the bottom of the bed. There was a window beyond that and I had taken a dislike to the sight of the curtains at night. To this day, I am uncertain what spooked me. Maybe a movement from a slight draft from the landing one night made me think there was something hiding behind them. Anyway, the screen made me feel secure.
@@jcyoungquist Interestingly enough, it was my dad who worked this out, back in 1967. I still have the screen, folded in my studio. I have no idea whether it was bought, was already in the house or if - being that he was a cabinet maker - he may have made it himself. It had a pattern on one side - the outer side. The blank side was towards me. The reading light affixed to the wall above with a pull-string so that I could reach up and put the light on or off as I felt like it.
The mutual respect between this father and son is admirable to say the least. I so appreciate their communication skills, insights shared and self examination is just inspirational. Thank you BOTH for taking us along on your journey.
I'm really impressed just how thoughtful, self-aware, and confident Max is. That he is able to acknowledge the various aspects of his personality that make him a little different without any shame is so sweet to see.
I've watched several of your videos and you do such a masterful job of listening, explaining, reassuring, and leading with firmness. Nurturing sons is tricky for fathers...too much and you risk losing the fatherly influence..too little and you're perceived as cold and authoritarian. You get it just right. Every single child deserves a father of this caliber. The world would be a much better place. I freely admit that I'm not as good a father as you, but I've done the best I can along the way.
Wow, thank you! None of us are perfect. As long as we're aware of that, and each day we try to do better than the next, then you're on the right track.
Great father! Conversation between father and son is the best way to find any solution for every issue. Its very interesting to follow us. You are great and special persons. God bless you and your entire family. From Italy
Being alone is not just this boy's fear, that fear lives in all of us. Many learn to hide it, some better than others but it's there for us all. This pandemic thing has really brought that out in many.
I absolutely love your posts...I have learned so much about autism I never knew.. Gods bless you dad for being so involved in learning more about your son, and sharing it with us. Also blessings on Max!
Your an amazing dad and max is an amazing kid. I really love the relationship between you two. You have alot of insight on autism but also just as a parent. Theres so much to learn from you and your family thank you so much for sharing please keep making these videos
Awww Max reminds me so much of my nephew Aiden, his laughing, his physique, his intelligence. Hey I notice Max keeps touching his chest with one hand. Is he OK? Is that just his anxiety manifesting.
Hi,I know how it feels with autism I have high functioning but still it’s hard sometimes. I do horseback riding a lot and sometimes when you get off the horse you hang all the time there’s fear that you’re gonna fall down and break your legs and stumble to the ground. I know what it feels like to be scared for no reason. So sorry if I’m bad at English!
watching the old shows of fred rogers, espacially Mister Rogers' Neighborhood and also the kinda new documentary with tom hanks (A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood) could be beneficial for you both, good luck in the future
Let's see, I think he was pretty quiet the first couple years. He began trying to speak and trying to learn new words after that. Full sentences came maybe around 5 or 6. And today, he still struggles with many words, and also putting things in the correct tenses.
So what does Max think caused him to have the fear of sleeping in his room alone? A bad movie? Something that actually happened at home that caused it? Does Max know why or can explain why he's scared of sleeping alone? Might be the way to get him to sleep in his room alone again is to think about and talk about why it is he became scared of sleeping alone.
I’m so glad that you guys Are doing videos again. I have mild autism and it is awesome to realize how different autism is for everyone. Max is such a brave kid and I can’t wait to see where he goes in life.
My son is also 13 and is autistic. He's also afraid of sleeping in his room alone, and currently shares a room with his older sister. What worked for us is that our dog's crate is also in there, and my son feels like he isn't alone when the dog is also in there. His older sister has a later bedtime, so it gives my son some time to fall asleep. When he's dealing with his other fears, he goes through a lot of his different stimming, and we've also done some breathing exercises that seem to help. He seems to be off and on about whether physical touch helps him, so I let him drive it and try to keep myself available to him. This is the second video of yours that I've watched, and I think I'm going to sit down with him and we'll watch you guys together!
@@Getoffmyaccount917 Unfortunately, our house is small enough that she doesn't really have a choice, but she's very magnanimous about it, and we try to make sure that she has as much space as we can give her otherwise.
@@sanny-nk9re She's really good about it, and we do make sure that she gets plenty of time to herself. She'll likely be off to college before we wind up with a bigger place!
I came here from the bath exercise , and I’m so glad I found this channel ! You have unconditional love for your son ! I’m 17 and have it as well . When I was little , I was scared of being alone in the bedroom, to my where my parents struggled to sneak out when I fell asleep, without me waking up . I can say , he will sleep alone in his room one day !! Sometimes having a pet ( like my dog ) in there can really help . It definitely helps me , and just knowing my sister is right across the hall . I can relate to a lot of this so much . You are an amazing , supportive father !!! He will definitely improve !!
What is amazing is how much wisdom and knowledge about fear management is in these videos. Max probably doesn't know this but he's becoming an expert in fear management. I find myself learning a ton from these conversations between you two as just an average 24 y.o. guy, Max is really lucky to have such an amazing father as Chad.
A father showing his love to make sure his son has a strong foundation for his future. I wish my father taught me the same. Much respect sir and all the best. I’ll follow your channel
I wish my dad was more open to talking like this and trying to understand and get to kn me more. Well to those who have great parents well your lucky and to we who got ok parents lol we will manage and to those who have none bless your soul don’t worry God is watching and protecting you.
chad, what a great idea, and giving him the control of this , I have autism too (41 yrs.) and great to see the inroads you are making into understanding this condition. a couple of suggestions about the chair lift, one is the momentum, ie the rocking as the chair stops, this can be a 'queasy" feeling for max ( the rocking is unpleasent motion), Also the height as well, ie vertigo; and also NOT having control over his surroundings is another "trigger" for these things, Don't fret, he will take a while to "learn himself" and how to communicate his feelings, just be patient, and let him do it at his own pace.
I found you guys a week ago and I love your channel! I have been the full time caregiver for (while my daughter and son-in-law are at work) my 4 year old grandson since he was 2 months old. He is autistic. Your videos are shedding light on the road ahead. Keep at it. You two have a good thing going with your channel!
Max says that he's unsure he could talk himself through a bad situation...BUT.. We all witnessed him do that very thing during the bath excercise. My wording might be off a little but i believe it was " it will only be cold for a little while" he wasn't saying that to anyone else....(that I'm aware of) it appeared he was telling his own brain to chill out man....we're going to be fine here.
Also have a light form of Autism and i don't really need constant help and trying to do stuff myself all the time and finding work is hard for me really. I don't really like new area's ( work ) and that can shut me down if to much "information"gets into my brain and can't process it. I'm not the only one who have autism at work and my colleague works very good and we talked about it. Meltdowns for me is pretty rare and i don't take any pills and don't want to either. Maybe it's better, but i don't feel the need to. Also one of my friends have also Autism and if he doesn't take a pill, he will eat alot and hyper-active. Sometimes just to much, he even admitted it. Pretty sure Max will get over his fears also and live like anyone else if not with help. Personally i wanna have a own house without assisted living, because i don't want this and pretty sure can do stuff myself.
I'm in my twenties, suffer with Autism and ADHD. I also love hugs to Max! FUNNY thing though, I love terberlance on a plane. I feel that it makes it exiting. I also used to hate sleeping alone. I believe your dad is right though as in my teens, I became less fearful of this and now I sleep alone and have done for many years.
Would love to know how he finds building relationships, whether that be with friends, or potentially girls who are friends. As I found this topic difficult as a child living with autism! Love the videos
Love you guys! I don't have kids and I don't have autism as far as I'm aware, although sometimes I wonder if I might have it mildly and just be undiagnosed. I do have anxiety though, and watching your videos is helping me. In my experience, when I get an overload of anxiety, sometimes I wear myself out emotionally and then I get exhausted and kind of pass out....... well it's not like I faint, I go lie down because I just can't stay awake anymore. I wonder if this is similar to what is happening with Max on the plane when there is turbulence. Feel free to delete my comment if it's less than helpful. Keep being awesome you guys!!!! * hugs! *
Thank you so much for your videos! Our son is 8, autistic and an amazing young man, just like Max. So polite, working on overcoming his fears. Every day is a new adventure for us and it has helped our entire family grow and become better people! Thank you again for these beautiful videos!
Interesting that being alone is Max's fear. My biggest fear as a high-functioning autistic is being with people. I'm far more comfortable on my own. Great conversation thanks!
I don't know how I came across your videos but I'm glad I did. I can't believe how much he reminds me of my son. My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2. He is now 11. I love the idea of giving hugs when he's upset. I think I'm going to try that next time. Thanks!
great idea, good on you MAX, very brave thing to do, and I like the pun on your dad's shirt, the use of the periodic table of elements to spell out the word autism :-)))
Omg ,this is so sweet you have such an amazing relationship🥰my son gets evaluated for autism and I am 100% sure he has it .but the doctor’s I talked to denied it because he reacted to his name an talked to them. But anyway,he has extrem fear of losing me and if I go to heaven if he would see me again and if he would get to the same heaven and so on ..if he starts he would repeat this question the whole day and I mean the whole day and it would start the next morning right away.does anyone has tips for me? What can I do about it ?
You are a father that everybody wants,but nobody is worth.Thats all i had to say,you are an amazing father,i hope your child will go far in life and become someone important,and maybe change this world some day.
Thank you for this video. I don't know anybody that has autism so your videos are informative and I'm sure that they'll help me in the future when I do know somebody with autism. I'd love to hear more from both of you, thank you for talking about this to us.
My 13year old granddaughter has autism who I am raising. She changes too. She loves and needs hugs and affection. I learned a long time ago that this was the way I could bring her down from melt downs. I took her out of public school because they would cause meltdowns and raise her frutrations really high then when she told them that she needed me and a hug they would tell that wasn't an option. I told them I would come the minute she needed me to call. I live 2 minutes away! The school just did not get it or care. Something I know is that everyone should have a child like this in their lives. Oh there is much frustration. But the working through it, the rewards of love you receive back, lessons learned from having to be more patient, blessings when they finally get it, and so very much more makes us better people. God truly blessed me in letting having her.
I only found your channel a week ago but you both have already taught me a lot! And guess how old I am ... I am 57! That's older than the both of you combined! It's never to late to learn to deal with fears.
I'll also be 57 later this year, and like you I still learn a lot. I have extensive experience from autism (more than 35 years), and still I've learnt new things from @Chad and Max.
Jullie doen het super goed Ouders met Max .Ik ben davy Busbegeleider .En werken met autism is heel zwaar .Bij ons op school zijn er ook leerlingen met autism .Ik zelfs als begeleider vind het beste zwaar .Maar aan de anderen kant sta ik er heel heel open tegen autism .Wat ik zelfs hebt geleerd is dat je heel heel heel veel geduld hebt voor deze kinderen .En voor al heel veel mee werken en heel heel veel aandacht geef .En ik heb ze heel mooie open gekregen omdat zij heel gesloten zijn .Maar als je in hun wereld komt vertrouw ze u en ik ben zo blij dat hij open gebloeid is .En de ouders zijn ook zo blij voor hem .Maar je hebt zo veel in die wereld van Autism .En ik leer iedere dag bij .En ik begrijpt ook dat zij heel moeilijk hebben voor vrienden te krijgen. Maar aan de andere kant ben ik blij dat ik in het wereld mag komen .Jullie doen het super goed .Ik ben Davy ben van Belgie ducht .Maar blijf zo door doen met Max .Ook bedankt dat jullie het op youtube zetten meer te weten komen over autism .Groetjes Davy
Love this sentiment of you committing to helping him in a certain way (hug). I wonder if the reversal conversation would be helpful for purpose/fulfillment etc... Can Max help you with something when you get mad, angry, sad etc...
I suggest he uses only positive words when you encourage him to talk to himself, for example, " *Good* " instead of " _not bad_ " " *I'm safe/confidant* " instead of " _I'm not afraid_ " and so on .. I read in an article that words have a tremendous effect
I am autistic with Asperger and find these conversations very helpful. Chad, I especially like how you look for patterns and then commit to change. As you talk about the patterns you observe in Max, I can apply your observations to my life. I stopped touching Typicals because there are so many rules. Now that I am over 50, I am going to figure these rules out. Watching your conversations is really beneficial for me to understand myself. Thank you, Max, for opening yourself to these conversations so that I can learn from you!
Fear is an odd thing and it itself is just..crippling, if we let it be. I had crippling social anxiety as a kid to the point where I couldn’t even spend the night at peoples houses, unless it was someone like my aunt. And even then I needed to know exactly what we’d be doing that day/night. When I was 15 my parents sent me as a student ambassador to Europe for a month. France, Italy, and Greece. Without them, for my first time out of the country. It was...numbingly terrifying but changed my life. I remember when we left I kept turning around and looking at my parents while we went through security. They kept waving, then said one final goodbye and walked away. My mom later said she had to force herself to walk away, because she knew the next time I turned around to look for them, I’d have changed my mind and refused to go. That was the scariest thing I ever did. I was physically ill, couldn’t sleep the week before I left, and the drive to the airport..it wasn’t just fear. It was TERROR. But something nagged at me to go. I think it was a part of myself, knowing this would do good for me. And it did. I learned that I was strong enough to be on my own. That I didn’t need to plan every single moment of my day and know exactly what to expect in life. And that I could rely on other people. From climbing Mount Vesuvius, to propelling down a castle wall, to walking around Europe with a few kids I barely knew, to HAVING TO STAY AT A STRANGERS HOME, it was all hard. Here I was this kid who couldn’t even go to my best friends house, and I was going to have to live with a family I didn’t know for a week (the rest of the time we stayed in hotels). And...everything went great. I loved it. I wish I could do it again. It literally changed the person I am. I hope everyone here can overcome something that terrifies them. Because you’ll be better off for it. The doing isn’t always easy. But you never know what joys will come from overcoming the things that terrify us.
My sons are both Asperger autists (as are we parents). The older one is 14 and he's always doung better with the years. But our 8-year-old son has it very hard in the “normal” world, and it tears my heart when he's struggling with his fears. That was unknown to us, because his big brother is quite different in that respect. I was the most overwhelmed when I saw Max in the bathtub video, he's so much like our son! And just as brave and reflected - and yet fears are such a big, difficult task for these brave boys... Max, you're great and precious - please don't let anyone tell you anything else! And THANK YOU for sharing your experiences. It means the world for us, not being alone...
Father of the year! Given that Max is afraid of ordinarily routine occurrences like wind, turbulence in flight or the periodic stops of a chair lift, how do you handle the "big" stressors that kids routinely face like doctor and dental visits, getting immunizations or braces, and so on?
Well, we take each one with its own challenges. The dentist he doesn't like, but does fine once he's there. And he's not terribly fond of school. But again, all of his teachers and classmates call him the school celebrity.
I just stumbled upon this channel. What a wonderful thing to do with your son and helping the rest of the world get an understanding of autism. I’ve worked with a few autistic kids in my life and have such a heart for them. My cousin is autistic and I babysat him many times growing up. I’ve also worked with a nonverbal autistic boy and loved it. We’re not sure yet and it’s very much a touchy subject but my mom and I have noticed several autistic traits in my nephew as well. Watching you channel only confirms it more. It’s not severe enough to point out for sure but as he gets a little older, the more noticeable it becomes. I just love how you two have such a tight bond and have these conversations together. What a blessing!
This is such amazing content. the world of autism being discussed by someone with autism, invaluable conversation. I'm going to use some of these clips for parent training, if that's okay. Best wishes from the UK. Shawn.
Just have to say... I stumbled across one of your vids. I have no children, but thoroughly enjoyed the discussions you have with Max. Your videos do more than just help parents with autistic children/loved ones... they also bring a better understanding to people who, although have no one in their lives with autism, may in the future... That’s incredibly valuable. Your vids also teach others how to be a wonderful human being, something we desperately need more of today. Bravo to you. Bravo to Max and bravo to your family. You are all truly an inspiration.
