Paul thank you for posting this.I came across you because of searching for Dundee! It so happens I have a high functioning Aspie son, now 25. We also have a 14 year old dog who is certainly not going to be around for more than a year. She’s soldiering on but there will be a time on the horizon when we will experience you and your family’s sorry. I am pleased our son has a partner and a home of his own now and a cat. I hope it will lessen the blow when it comes. But even though it is obvious what is coming he won’t even let me mention it could happen. Our dog was such a friend to him when times were dark just getting through school. I truly think that school is the very worst time. Now he has a job doing what he was always keen on from a young age. Keep up with your channel, your post has made me a little bit more prepared to understand he might react differently than I was perhaps expecting. We are all unique aren’t we and bring our own strengths to the table. Take care, all the best. Diane
Thanks for sharing, Paul. Sorry to hear about your doggo, very sad. I have a 2 year old pomsky called Ralphie. He's mine and my partner's first dog. Love that cheeky little scamp like a child, thinking about him dying properly twists me up. Can't even imagine! My aunt's method is to have two dogs, around 5 or more years apart in age so when the inevitable does happen, you have another furry little friend to share the grief with so it's not so overwhelming. Not that that helps you now but you know... Sending love anyway, all the best. Ralphy looked like a champ! God bless 🙏
We had two dogs 5 years apart but when the oldest died it took my son who has high functioning autism (aspergers) almost a year before he looked at the pup then they were best pals only for her to also pass away with cancer age 4 my son is still angry and grieving we can’t even mention dogs as he gets triggered guess everyone is different so sad though for your loss of your beautiful dog take care ✌️😊
Your comments are very interesting. Frankly, I only ran across your channel because I was looking for something on the Dundonian dialect. I found that video very funny and looked at a couple of other videos. Noticed I could be your 666th subscriber, so had to subscribe, because...numbers. This one hits home a bit, as I lost my mother a couple of years ago. I have only recently been diagnosed as on the spectrum with alexithymia. For me, her passing was strange in that I kept expecting that grieving to 'catch up' with me, but it really hasn't. The most actual emotion that I have felt at her passing was after watching a TV show and thinking that she would have liked it...not even sure if that is an emotion 🙂. I feel like our experiences are as if we are standing on two sides of the same field with grief in the middle. Me trying to find a way to feel what I am expected to and trying to anticipate what my daughter was feeling and intellectualizing the emotion that did not exist, and you feeling the emotions but needing to maintain a distance from it (I hope that is close to an appropriate summarizing of too much into a sentence fragment). We are definitely the same as far as the 'don't like things sprung on' us. For me it is because I feel like I need to anticipate what others are feeling and need to be prepared to support them as if I was actually feeling the emotions that 'normal' people do, but I have definitely run the maudlin scenarios as well. Thanks for being frank and open. It helps to know that others are struggling to balance neurodivergences and emotional atypicality. Bye from across the field.
Thank you for sharing this video. I am autistic and I think about death a lot afraid of being alone. I recently lost my special cat, so I went searching how to deal with Greif and this has helped. So thank you. ❤
Well I was diagnosed from a professional therapist so yup.. Still an aspie haha I can talk about my dog in an empathetic manner as I've been through it talking about my own situation. I can literally understand what somebody's going through as I've experienced it but doesn't mean that I feel empathetic towards that person. I can talk about how I felt but tbh cause Ive dealt with it now.. The whole emotion behind it is now locked in a box. I now have less empathy as I don't want to be reminded of my dogs passing so I genuinely just cut the conversation dead or simply just walk away from the conversation. I can't talk to people about puppy's and dogs, and their emotions behind their dogs passing cause I simply don't want to be reminded of mine. Its pissed off a few people already and been told that I'm a lot colder now regarding animals passing. I feel for empathy really only for dogs and really only certain types. Dunno why I lack empathy towards people. Dogs just seem to resonate with me more as they are very easy to understand and can be trained. Asperger's and autism spectrum disorder isn't as cut and dry as just 'lacks empathy' means no empathy at all. For me and others, it means we lack empathy for certain things but can still feel empathy. It just depends. When it comes to people though. I'm extremely cold and I just say what I know I need to say or do. I don't feel anything for people. It's just not there. Family, friends, even my own kids .. If they are ill or going through hard times I find them more frustrating and annoying more than anything. Doesn't make me a bad person, it's just how my brain is wired.
@@thisscottishaspie5961 Understood. From what I see, you just describe here in a very precise and honest way psycho-physical processes you experience. Most of the people just don't do that. From my experience a genuine empathy enriched with full emotional scale, as you described is extremely rare. More rare, that it seems to be. This topic is just a Pandora case. People know to imitate empathy - that's what I see from my point of view. And those one who have empathy very rarely experience it with full emotional range, because emotional range has nothing in common with presence, or lack of empathy. I saw very emotionally skilled people with complete lack of empathy and vice versa. And yeah - that's important to hear what your therapist says. In the same time, I'm curious did anybody make a research of how your playing and singing (great BTW) experiences influenced your brain, and which of the qualities originally "ill" became strongly developed. How your mixing work and blind tests influenced other kinds of sensitivity. I would be very skeptical about the idea, that those processes are completely independent with your personal processes. As a musician I didn't experience even one independent process - everything kinda affects everything. And yeah - I saw congenital diseases transform into strong individualities. Wouldn't be surprised, if this is your case - especially while you continue to develop as a personality and musician, which is endless process, probably.
Autism is a spectrum and very diverse. For example 4 doors down we have another aspie family. My wife child minds the son and he is diagnosed on the spectrum and is so empathetic that many would say he can't be in the spectrum but he has other traits that make up his diagnosis. I have ADD, his dad has OCD. He is a bit of a clean freak where i am the opposite but we are both obsessive about our passions. In regards to my music and mixing my autism massively plays into it as my ADD gives me the advantage. I over obsess and can hyper focus on minute details without suffering from distractions. If I'm writing I can zone out everything else and focus only on what I'm doing. I was born with it and something that was never taught. However outside of my passions it's a killer as if I'm not interested im extremely distracted and can go into my own world without me even realising. My wife has to tell me stuff at least 3 or 4 times as its pot luck whether I listen to everything or the whole conversation is registered. So I can tell you what day plugins are due to come out but I'm most likely not going to be able to tell you what day my kids hospital appointment is. It has its upsides and downsides but i know I'm an aspie. There's no way getting round it. My friends, family and anyone who's worked with me won't say otherwise as to them it's extremely obvious but only because they know the real me and not the masked version of me that portrays something completely different. That's why being high functioning is extremely difficult as you have to adapt to the neurotypical world. It's expected to survive. You either struggle and be yourself or push yourself and fake it which is what I've been doing basically all my life. I'm extremely literal and see life very black and white so everything including myself can be viewed from an analytical literal point of view. So I can literally talk about emotions but doesn't mean I can feel or truly understand them
@@thisscottishaspie5961 Extremely interesting! But as more I read you, more I have 2 versions: either you're completely normal genius, or I have an autism as well. ( - : When was a small kid, and my mom was worrying about my "special" behavior, the mom of my solfege teacher was telling: "don't worry, he's an ordinary genius kid". If being serious - Cesare Lombroso "genius and insanity" book is telling about how subtle the border is between those two. I'm lucky, that my mom, who's a psychiatrist never left me with any particular diagnosis, so I needed to discover all by myself. So as you tell - it gives extraordinary advantages, and same big disadvantages in different topics. But the consciousness is amazing. I would love to thank those boundaries for giving us this opportunity to learn ourselves.
