I can relate! I find it hard to navigate in the dissonance you spoke of. When we all went into lockdown in 2020, I actually felt a sense of relief because it felt "quieter." Re-entry into society was difficult and I kept a mask on far longer than those around me, not because I was afraid of getting sick, but because I felt shielded somehow. Thanks for sharing, Cypris!
Fun story, Cypris - when you were a baby, my mother - your grandmother - chided me for talking to you as if you knew what I was saying. But the thing was, it seemed to me that you did. Now I on the other hand did not know how to understand what you were trying to say. Your words came later....
So this might sound kind of weird, but a bunch of my friends have recently been realizing that they are actually on the autism spectrum. A feeling of intense isolation from the rest of the world is common in autism, as is connecting better with animals than with people. People with autism process things differently and process social cues differently, so they often feel alienated from allistic people and only really feel like they understand the thinking/feeling of other people with autism. People with autism are actually wired differently, and the world often feels cacophonous because people with autism are often much more emotionally and physically sensitive to stimuli than other people. As you say, this probably was not helped by 1) childhood trauma and particularly attachment trauma (if you don't feel like you attached to yoour primary caregivers, you often have trouble feeling attached to anybody else later); 2) giftedness (the indignation at being treated like a child when you had deep thoughts to communicate); and 3) your spiritual interesting, intuition, and connectedness. But that's just the psychologist in me ;)
I've pondered this multiple times over the years. I'll admit there's significant overlap. I'm sure I'm neurodivergent in some ways. But there are some key symptoms to be on the autism/Asperger's spectrum that I absolutely don't connect with. Not that I'm a mental health professional, or anything. LOL.
Girl, you're not as alone as you think you are 😊 I'm seriously happy to see you posting again. Also, your shared thoughts on where you might have come from when you were in your adolescence are not as far-fetched as some might think. If you've ever read any of Dr. Michael Newton's Journey of the Souls series books (really in depth near-death experiences with regression hypnotherapy) you'll see that there ARE interesting cases of souls that incarnate to Earth (OMG, whyyyy?! 😉🤣) and it's not their preferred planet if you catch my drift. When I was a rebellious teen I would shriek at my parents (who never owned one Beatles album between the two of them) that I was switched at birth because they were so freaking square and I clearly was a hippie. Frankly, I still wonder.. 🤣😹
Hey, good to hear from you, too! I haven't meant to slow my posting, it just gets hard to get all the things done sometimes. I haven't heard of Dr. Michael Newton, specifically, but I do have a little flashback past-life memory of being on a vessel in space, looking out of a circle-shaped window, and I was definitely not human. So, yeah. 😉 Honestly, I'd welcome more of such flashbacks. Perhaps we had similar parents. My memories of the the Beatles come from pop culture references and hearing their songs on the radio, oh and that weird, trippy cartoon movie where they were traveling on a yellow submarine. I'm not imagining that, right? That happened? LOL.
I just yesterday finally told father (even tho he forgets all I say ever) I cant belive Im their child of how diffrent I am, feeling adopted, but now Ik Im not, so just alien. I also was walkin away, coz I was just mad, juat wanted to say what I had to say. I would say my stuff how I felt Im not normal and stuff, but be like a book 😅 Im SO GLAD to find this channel! Thank u for being here! Litearly thanking with tears! 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥰❤️🩹💝💖💗🩷❤️🤍🩶🖤💜🩵💙💚💛🧡❤️
