I've been having issues lately and found this channel as a result. I ended up using these strategies mid video as a conversation came up and it really helped. Thank you so much!
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When my husband and I were teenagers we used to argue a lot and one thing that really helped us talk through our issues without yelling or anything was to talk about things in a book store.
The ''repeating back'' thing is something my partner and I already do naturally because we both have a different native language and are communicating in our second/third language. It is really a good thing.
10 TIPS: 1. SET CLEAR INTENTIONS 2. CREATE A SAFE ATMOSPHERE 3. SPEAK SLOWLY 4. BE CONCISE 5. UNDERSTANDABLE LANGUAGE 6. WATCH YOUR BODY LANGUAGE 7. AVOID SARCASM 8. SPEAK FROM THE ''I'' POSITION 9. STAY ON TOPIC 10. AVOID SHIFTING BLAME Barriers to Communication 1. Loud Noise 2. Stress
the hardest part of reflective listening is being patient and being non-judgmental of what you're hearing. it is also a hard concept to understand that you can talk to somebody and not have to agree with what they say and you can express it in such a way that it isn't callus or invalidating what they have to say
Currently going thru a tough situation with my gf of 3 years. We have a kid together. The body language part really hit me because there were times where my Ego would not let me hear her out. I hope that I can become a better man for her and my child at the end of the day. Thanks for this video
These were some awesome tips. This kind of content literally NEVER expires and is so important. Thank you! And if you ever need to relax, I can help! 💖
I recently found this video, and I found this video to be very informative because my wife and I are trying to finds ways to better communicate with eachother. I took notes so I can practice with myself because I'm trying to avoid divorce and I'm trying to keep my family together
One BONUS Tip - Try to make your relationships interesting. Play some couple question games like lovify. In this game, you have to guess your partners likes. It helps in two way communication. No Arguments. Pure Feelings. Share Expectations.
Avoiding sarcasm is my personal struggle in relationship communication. I'm trying to share some information for others as well and I found your channel as a result. I'm just starting on this journey but I'm really hoping to give back to couples and familys on healthy relationship tactics! Thank you for sharing!
I think your channel might actually save my relationship. I can’t thank you enough. We see a therapist in person but you really speak to us. We both understand you and it’s spoken so clearly. Thank you so much!
Wow, this is the type of content I need in my life🌼🌼. Communication in relationships (platonic or romantic) is so important, and sometimes you might think you are communicating really well, and then, upon further reflection, you realize that there's still room for improvement. Thanks for this😁🙏🏽 Question: do you have some tips on how to maintain healthy communication skills in stressful or highly emotionally charged situations?
Have you gotten a response from Stephanya? In stressful situations with potentially volatile people I found it's best to start by taking a few deep breaths before you say a word, stick with "I" statements. Bring the timber of your voice as low and steady as possible. Avoid the accusative case(you this..., And you that...). There is a scene in the movie Grosse Point Blank where John Cusack deals with a drunk/high ex high school peer who begins to feel anger toward the Cusack character. Cusack questions him by saying something like: do you think there is something going on between us? Because there is no us. I thought that was a great way to diffuse an immenent argument. Hope this helps.
The crazy thing is I’ve been communicating the right way the whole time! Lol everything you said I’m like “yup” “done” “did that” in my head. My partner does exactly what you say not to do. It’s stressful & draining at the least.
I was looking for this exact comment I have literally tried all of these things consistently knowing that they don't work overnight but my partner does everything these videos say don't do. Then she tells me that I did try to communicate in a healthy way but yet she doesn't try any of the strategies whatsoever. I'm being driven insane to the point sometimes I have serious negative thoughts about myself that I do not want to disclose here. I don't have much patience left and every counseling or therapy video will allude to patience being a very important aspect. I hope me and my partner can make things work. . .
@@bruhman951 yeah it’s super exhausting! Constantly trying & having the convo that you feel will be the break through only for it to go back to the same old disfunction 😔
Just got into my first serious relationship without any toxicity and these videos help me navigate the empathetic way of doing things!! Thank you for the information 💗
I know most advise is speaking from the I position. I found myself often at cross roads where when I do I am told I am selfish when I don't I am blaming. When I am letting my feeling know and tell what makes me sad or anxious I am playing the victim, but when I don't I am always acting as a hero.... 💁🏼♀️I have know Idea how to communicate anymore. I have just discovered your channel. Hope I can get some clarity...
Hi Steph, I’m wondering if you could do a video (or if you already have?) on couples who have one primarily emotional person and one primarily logical person, and how to meet in the middle so that it’s not all “annoying confusing feelings” or “cold rationality”. Thank you!!
I sort of touch on this in my communication styles video. Take a look at that one and let me know what's missing from that for you and I can make another video!
Walk away with a better understanding! Yes, exactly 💯 Repeat/ confirm, denies, or refutes. Creating safe spaces, to speak concisely with careful thought (work on my tangents) using proper words. Using I statements. Intellectualize is a defense mechanism. Set partner up for success, being clear and on topic with empathy and checking in on partner. The thing stressing you out, is the conversation that needs to be had.
Did not even know how much I needed this! 2a d half pages of notes with applicable & relatable examples and scripts just blew my mind! I definitely have some inner work on #1,#6 & 10! Thank you so much for dropping all of these gems!❤❤
You inspire me. I wish I had the drive to become a licensed social worker who invests into continuously educating myself through books and whatnot. I’m too lazy and my 6 years of college drained me in many ways… at first what I wanted after deciding to focus my career more on ppl over animals, was to be a therapist but later realized I did not want the baggage that comes with direct cases/clientele/one-on-one sessions (ended up going for SW since it’s a similar but much broader field). Another reason I changed from therapy is I realized how much I dislike all the paperwork aspect and other super tedious elements I did not enjoy in fieldwork. I currently am just a BSW graduate with some things below my belt related to working with animals. I’ve always loved animals & they are my #2 passion after God ❤️ (helping people is #3). My dream job rn would be an animal-assisted therapy assistant or something similar (assistant to avoid the sessions and paperwork 😩🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️). I’m really just tryna make any low-maintenance impact :( almost like an “easy” job that’s still very purposeful and fulfilling. I want a job where I can go home knowing I made a significant difference/impact with my gifts but without having to carry work-related duties out with me. I would love if you could respond although I did leave a whole lot in just one comment 😅🙈 either way, I love your videos and like I said you really inspire me 💕 God bless you ☺️
I did that a lot in my marriage that ended after 14 years always trying to tell her what she was meaning to say to me not fully understanding or trying to understand that she wasn't trying to control or change me I wish I really would have communicated a lot better Instead of walking away coming back in hopes everything was dropped without further communicating on the subject not to be or give off narcissistic ways but in hopes it all goes away, After getting the help I know I needed through therapy and in prayer I put forth more of an effort to be a better friend than I was a husband weather or not I stand another chance with her she was an STILL IS MI WORLD. Ty for this podcast I really needed this.
I needed to see this video because I’ve noticed I do alot of the Dont do’s .this made merealize like I do have things to work on .now I see what my partner was saying .so glad I came across this video…💯🗣️
I love ❤all of advise. Feel I have a good grasp on effective communication. I struggle with my husband taking offence to me attempting using these principles. I end up very frustrated at the end of the conversation. When he rolls his eyes or walks away or looks at his phone it hurts me so bad. Then we argue things are said that are not meant. Honestly we are progressing. But we don't always avoid arguments. So thank you. For reaffirming what I practice. I hope he watches this and it reaches his heart.
You are very very well spoken and intelligent young person. Eloquent is the word I think! Your clients are blessed to have you! Thanks for the very informative video!
Honestly this is much needed for me because when I communicate I literally would repeat what me and my bf talked about a few days ago. But now looking at the video is really a huge help
I love these videos you post, my partner doesn't feel comfortable opening up to a therapist. This environment is much more welcoming for him. Thank you
As usual so helpful and therapeutic!! I love the elevation I've seen in the quality of the video with the re-enactment! Content fire as always! Can you please cover how a couple can heal and communicate after infidelity/ an affair?? I would love to hear your expertise and perspective on this!
Hi Steph! I was wondering if you have any tips for long distance relationships, specifically how to adjust to changing to a long distance relationship when you have never done distance with this partner? I will be studying abroad next semester and want to put my best foot forward for my relationship and education.
Yes, we definitely love these kinds of videos!🙏🙏 Really trying to be better at relationship-ping, and communication is definitely a big part of that, so thank you🙏🙏😁😁 Question: how do you juggle maintaining your relationships (in general) when you, and your loved ones, have busy schedules (like maybe juggling grad-school and work)?
I've listened attentively to what you've said and quiet frankly you have addressed factors that I have with my husband for years however, being emotionally intelligent I've accepted my communication issues that affect our relationship and I again will attempt to work on my poor communication habits. Not before sharing this video to my husband. I've communicated a lot of issues you've mentioned but when issues arise he goes right back and do the same thing. Eventually I react also.
You were very helpful I appreciate everything that you said thank you you can’t force someone to love you that Hass to come on. It’s on the communication I get, but the love Hass to come with it.
me and my ex have been trying to work on things and its been so incredibly challenging communicating with him. he always cuts me off when i speak and invalidates what i say, as well as not listening to me when i speak. then him speaking to me like this reinforces me to cut him off and do these things and its just a negative cycle. i hate it and it is so stressful. its been tense for 5 months now
The speak slowly section got me.I constantly have to give my fiancé a signal that he is losing me (I have a.d.h.d.) due to either a 1.tangent, 2.an analogy that doesn't makes sense to me because it is too far for my literal mind to access or 3. He uses vocabulary incorrectly and I need to stop him to clarify what he is trying to say because, again I am very literal and he is not. It breeds a lot of miscommunication.
When I told my partner I wanted him to look at me when I talk to him, and not be watching TV...he told me that I'm just trying to control him and he said don't tell me what to do. But all I wanted was basic respect.
Thank you so much I found these tip’s extremely helpful I took notes and will hang it up and study it daily ! I feel confident that I can communicate more effectively now!
This is really great. Thank you. Please share more strategies for changing bad communication habits or dysfunctional communication. How do you change or break bad communication dynamics and establish new ones?
How you communicate with someone who isn’t talkative? Only talks here and there and when mad? Am the type of person that I like to talk about anything 😅 when an argument happens, I want to talk right away(which something am working on, to have some space after one) Another thing. We were doing good, but after struggling financially. It’s like we can’t see eye to eye sometimes How you deal with problems when facing financial struggles?
your advice has been so helpful on how to build intimacy and how to communicate effectively. i would love to hear your advice on tips for couples that are going through trust issues after emotional infidelity. please and thank you!!
I’m having problems we will have our first session this week. I just don’t know how we got to this point. I feel so broken and just wish there was a rest button. This video helped me understand a few things that we do.
TBH.. this should be mandatory training in school from preK! And i struggle with not bringing things up bc it's not worth it and if i have said how i feel in a conversation I've regularly been told oh now it's tit-4-tat, eye roll, body shift included. My family didn't talk about things. They were ignored, stuffed, of swept under the rug. 💔🙏
I lost my mother eight months ago. I took time off of work for eight months. I was her primary caregiver took care of her went to work took care of the kids in the house now that she’s gone. . My husband and I are celebrating our anniversary is coming up. I feel that I shouldn’t have to tell him to do some something special for me because if it was me, I would do it for him so sometimes it’s human to be human to another person. It’s not something that you have to teach. It’s love you don’t teach. Love that’s my opinion
Me and my wife have zero communication to the point that we're in trouble. Anything big or new takes these 3 conversations to make decisions. I'm at the crossroads of living separately within the marriage.
These videos on communication are so helpful!! I always believed I was a good communicator but... No but at all! Haha, esp in my relationship. These videos help! Thank you!
I just need to learn how to communicate with my partner rather than shutting down the way he says things sometimes I get offended so I’m going to watch some more of your videos. Steph Anya, LMFT
