I used to tell parents that I would only believe half of what the kids told me happened at home if they believed half of what the kids said happens at school
I received a phone call from a mother regarding her son’s birthday party scheduled for the next day. They were making personalized favors and were missing from the class list the name of a new boy who’d just transferred into the school the week before. He also wanted to invite the boy to have a play date because he was an orphan from the earthquake to strike Haiti in 2010. Her son insisted the boy’s name was Looks A Lot. The Mom took a guess that he meant Lancelot, but her son got very upset, insisting it was Looks A Lot! Could I please clarify? The child’s name was Seymour!
I taught up in the Delta of MS. The state sent observers. One was in the kindergarten room where the teacher was reading a story. A child kept talking and interrupting. A little girl in the front turned around and at the top of her lungs yelled, "Shut the f.. up! I'm trying to listen to the story!"
I’m sorry, I know that’s not supposed to be funny, but it’s hilarious! As a teacher, I would have been mortified on the outside and trying my hardest not to laugh!
These are the reasons why I used to get down on my knees in my classroom and thank the Lord that I was a preschool teacher. My entire life was a comedy blockbuster!❤❤❤
I received a call from my sons teacher one day. He REFUSED to eat the sandwich I packed for him because roaches had eaten a hole through the bread. She called me mortified. I laughed and told her that I didn't even think he knew what a roach looked like. I asked her to ask him to explain what a roach looks like and then to show him a real picture of one. He was stunned. He'd never seen a roach before and was completely grossed out. She called back both embarrassed and amused. I explained that the bread was store bought, and it was just a loaf that had a hole in the one spot on each slice. I told her that she was more than welcome to inspect our home with any law enforcement if she felt necessary. Then I let her know that everyone would know if I found roaches in the house. It would be promptly burnt to the ground. Lol! That was a beginning of a long few years.
You reminded me of a funny story. So I grew up in a rural area in Louisiana and my family always struggled to keep bug infestations out. During one of the unfortunate times we were trying to clear out a roach problem, my mom happened to see one crawl onto the counter by the stove right after she turned on the burner. She freaked out and grabbed the Raid and took aim… carelessly, right across the open flames. She fully flame-thrower barbecued that sucker and my dad thought it was hilarious. Terrifying, but hilarious.
I have a preschool student who hasn't been to summer camp in a week or so. She shows up one day and says "My mommy brought me to school because she's going somewhere inappropriate" 🤦🏾♀️ She's pregnant and was going to a doctors appointment. It was "inappropriate" for a child to go with her. 😂
My grandson’s Kindergarten teacher said, “Oh, thank goodness you are okay!” when I showed up at his K classroom for Open House this past May. “Mikey told me that the doctors had to take your eye out, but that it was okay because they would put it back. “ I had had cataract surgery that morning.
When my daughter was 4 and in preschool, she grabbed some of my Coca-Cola Tic Tacs and had them in her mouth. As I was dropping her off for school (Catholic school), she looks at the principal and shows her these white candies and says "Look, I have Coke in my mouth". I about died.
My story is about my youngest at age 3. She was pretty advanced for her age. I picked her up from daycare and we were bottle-necked in the pick-up area so had to wait a bit to leave. My girl asked what was for dinner. I told her mac&cheese. She replied "OK but I want the clean ones." 6 mothers turned to look at me because my kid had to request clean food. I looked at her mortified and confused. "Clean ones?" Her reply was "Not the ones in the fridgirator" Those 6 moms are now looking at me with raised eyebrows because apparently I store dirty food in my fridge. It hit me though. "You mean the leftovers?" She says "Yeah. I want new ones." Everyone started laughing but I expected CPS on my doorstep when I got home. After a talk with her later, she thought I put the macaroni in the water to clean it, not cook it. 🙄😂
@jordanprine5557 she got into lots of trouble because she was a smart kid. In 2nd grade, she argued with a teacher who insisted that Venus and Aphrodite were the same goddess. The principal called the librarian in who confirmed they were different goddesses. The teacher had to admit to the class my kid was right. My kid proudly served detention for disrespecting the teacher. I got her an ice cream cone. 😆
Music teacher here: We were singing about three little fishies swimming all over the dam. I explained that a dam is a big wall that holds back water. Sweet little guy replies, “Well that’s not how my parents use it!”
A police officer showed up at my friends house during remote learning. The teacher had asked her son (second grade) where his parents were. He told his teacher that his parents were at work. The teacher assumed that the kids was home alone when they were actualy in the home office working from home.
Years ago my mother in law who was a kindergarten teacher looked up and saw a whole group of first graders outside her room. She went to the door and asked them why they were there. ‘The teacher told us if we couldn’t behave, she was going to send us back to kindergarten. So here we are.”
I miss elementary and preschool. I used to work at a preschool and I was walking a kindergarten student back to the school. On the way he looks up at me and asks if I was married. (I was only 20 at the time) I told him no. He asked if I had a big bed. To which I responded sort of. He replied well if you have a big bed, you have room for a wife.
I used that same logic to get out of an awkward question. I was newly married and my husband’s 5-year-old cousin asked if we slept in the same bed. Everyone’s kinda looking at me awkwardly but after a second it hits me that he’s freaking 5 and there’s no sense making it more complicated than it needs to be. I just said, “Yeah, there’s not room for two so we have one bigger one.” And he just nodded and went back to watching tv. Still a proud moment for me… I don’t usually think fast enough to be that smooth, lol.
I am not a teacher, but I think the cutest thing I ever heard was from my nephew. My father had just recently passed. We were gathered as the immediate family to say a prayer before the funeral service began. My nephew was in kindergarten at the time, and wasn't fully understanding everything about his grandfather being gone. My mother said Grandpa changed his physical address to his spiritual address. My nephew looked my mom straight in the eye and asked " Does Grandpa still have the same phone number?"
I can relate. When my mom passed away, my 6 year old son said, “I thought you said Granny was in Heaven. “ I said, “Yes, she is in Heaven. “He asked, “then who’s in the box?” I was grieving but that tickled me so much -at my mom’s funeral!!! People were wondering why I was laughing. It still makes me laugh to this day!! (He’s 21 now!)
My daughter when she was 6 was really grappling with the concept of death. Her great grandmother is alive but her great grandfather passed before she was born. She asked me seriously one day if great grandma ever gets text messages from great grandpa from Heaven. It was such a sweet question.
When I was school librarian, K teacher came in ready to laugh. Kid had been looking around K room, finally asked her "Where do you keep your clothes?" He thought she LIVED there.
@@sureshmukhi2316no I believed that too😂 I remember the pre k teacher telling us something about her family or home and I was thinking YEAH RIGHT 😩 in my kid mind the teachers were there when we arrived and there when we left so they were part of the school 🤷🏽♀️
At 6 or 7 years, I thought that, too! Teachers had a little office or large closet and I thought they stood in there recharging when we weren't there. I was shocked to see my teacher at the grocery store--she ate food?! Somehow, I'd gotten the idea they were androids. 😂
Have you seen the meme about the kid drawing a picture of his mom at work? She's standing in the middle, holding onto a thin vertical object attached to a square base, and people are surrounding her, waving money at her. Mom had to come in and explain she's NOT a pole dancer; she was selling snow shovels at a hardware store!
When I was in kindergarten, I told my teacher I had gone to my parents’ wedding. That was pretty shocking in 1957! And it wasn’t my parents’ wedding-it was my uncle’s; Dad wore a tux because he was an usher.
One of my kindergarteners went home and told her mom how we went horseback riding earlier that afternoon. I ran into them in town after school and mom excitedly told me how her daughter had told her all about it, and how she'd had two rides because another boy in class had misbehaved and wasn't allowed to have his turn as a punishment, so she got a second turn on the horse. We hadn't gone horseback riding. We'd gone on a nature walk and saw a horse in a pasture. The next year at Open House, I shared with parents that I wouldn't believe half of what the kids come in and tell me if they'd call and ask for clarification if some story comes home that sounds a little crazy. This mom was there (the kids looped with me) and said, "Definitely do that! Our kids LIE!"
My son told his teacher he helped his dad fix his truck over the weekend. She asked him what is the first thing you do when fixing the truck. He said….well, first you need to get a beer! Yep, his teacher was in our Sunday school class. I could have died…laughing!
The tiniest kid in my kindergarten class said that she was seven years old. I knew it wasn't true, but anyway I asked her, "Oh really?" She said, in a totally deadpan voice, "Yes, because I skipped six."
I had two siblings (K & 2nd graders) debating at pick-up time which parent was going to pick them up because they couldn't remember which one was in jail that week. So of course I had to ask more questions. Apparently Dad told Mom he was going to leave her, and Mom decided to stop that by slashing his tires. Cops were called. Mom had to go 'cool off' in jail for a few nights. Dad then took the family dog with him and Mom got angry about that and called the cops, so Dad had to spend a few nights in jail. In the end, I'm pretty sure Grandma did pick-up that day.
@@sureshmukhi2316 Yes. Trust me, it explained a LOT when I learned this story. The older sibling could not work with others or share. The younger one would explode in rage without warning.
When my youngest son was little, now almost 42 so this has been a while but he told everyone his grandma, my mother who had passed away lives in the park for dead people 😂 Made sense to him.
When my now 11 year old daughter was younger, as we passed a large cemetery one day, she asked if we could go pick flowers at that flower garden one day. Lol!
On my granddaughters first day of school, her mom was a few minutes late picking her up. While she was waiting outside the school with her teacher for her mom to arrive. Her teacher says to my granddaughter, maybe she got delayed in traffic, to which my granddaughter replied, nope, she's probably still drinking, my mom has to drink before she drives. My daughter in law was so embarrassed trying to explain that she always makes and takes a large coffee with her when she goes somewhere. She said she didn't think the teacher believed her at first then the teacher burst out laughing. 😂
In kindergarten my son told his class he was going to have a baby brother. I had not lived with his dad or anyone else for 4 years at this point and was teaching at the same school (a very conservative Christian school). I had mentioned in passing that some people who can't have biological kids might foster or adopt kids who can't stay with their bio parents (our neighbours at our old house were foster carers) and that was the only way he was likely to get the sibling he wanted. We had to have a long discussion about wanting something is not the same as it happening in real life.
When my son was in 3rd grade I went to pick him up from his robotics class, and as I approached him from behind, he was telling his team that gambling is really bad and he should know because gambling runs in his family... no one in our family has a gambling problem... where? how?????? I forgot that when my husband's siblings get together, they play a lot of spades, but no money or anything is involved! 😅😅
My daughter went to school and it was say no to drugs day…..after it was over she went to the teacher and said don’t tell the cops but her dad dip cocaine….needless to say it wasn’t are you ready for this….it was Copenhagen 😂😂😂😂😂
Oh my goodness. My youngest son did exactly that. He came home and told me it was Drug and Alcohol day at school and that he told his teacher that his Dad did Cocaine. In my dumbfounded state, I may have yelled "WHAT?" He then tells me, "You know. The stuff he takes out of his can and puts in his mouth" My response, "Your dad doesn't use Cocaine, that is his dip and it is Copenhagen." He says oh yeah, that's what I meant. My oldest son laughs and says, "You know you are probably going to get a visit soon....." Thank goodness, the teachers knew us from his older siblings!
All stories have to true! Been there 35 years and heard so many similar stories. I used to have to leave the classroom and go outside in the hallway to either laugh uproariously or flag down the school counselor or nurse to document statements that could have been DCF/CPS worthy. NEVER a dull day.
One of the many reasons I adore you is your presentation of everything! It’s your expressions and well…just everything! I think you would win teacher of the year every year…..kids AND parents have got to love you!
My daughter told her kindergarten teacher that we had to sleep in the van last night. The teacher reached out to me to make sure we were okay 😂 I told her my daughter fell asleep in our van on the way home and we put her in the bed. Love your videos!! 😂😂
My 5 year old granddaughter once told the cashier that her Nanny drinks too much. The woman shockingly looked at me. I widened my eyes and said, “she means coffee, I drink too much coffee.” Thank goodness my granddaughter shook her head in agreement and said, “yes, my Nanny drinks too much coffee.” 😂
My little guy once told a teacher that I am a drug pusher. This is true. I am a registered nurse, nationally board certified in perianesthesia nursing, and I push medication through IV lines. That was an interesting conversation.
I got roasted by a preschooler once. I worked at a daycare and I wore the same cardigan twice about a week apart. This little girl came up to me and said I need to get new clothes because I keep wearing the same ones. 🤣
My daughter kept saying in preschool that we "belt" her. Which turned out was what we said to each other when putting her in her carseat. "Honey, did you belt her in?"
I was over for dinner with my brother’s family ages ago and my kinder-aged nephew told us they had a health lesson on body parts that day and he learned the difference between cartilage and bone. He was very proud to point out that ears and noses contained cartilage but arms, legs, and heads were bone. He then proceeded to ask if his penis was also cartilage because “sometimes it’s stiff but other times it’s bendy.” We howled at that one! My sister-in-law was most desperate to find out if he asked his teacher that question!
Not something my kid told the teacher but I once got a call from my kid's kindergarten teacher that he crawled into the recycling bin and fell asleep in it and I needed to come get him because he was just to cute and the janitor might keep him 😂
my kid was able to read by late kindergarten. We moved and the new system didn;t teach reading until first grade, so she was the only one of her age group who could read. She got in trouble with the playground teacher (and got rumors started about our family in the small town, where we stood out because we were new) when she asked the meaning of a choice word that she read inside the crawl-through tunnel on the play structure. so we were a new family who was in a position to be model citizens who said the f word. Daughter was too scared to say anything about how she knew the word.
In kindergarten, my son went to a friend's farm with us for the 4th of July and their private fireworks display. He went back to school the next week and told his teacher, "...and on their fireplace in every room there was a bong." They had little decorative, Chinese prayer gong replicas all over their house. "BONG!" So, after we got the kids back from DCS, we explined it to him...
My sister does subbing. One day, she was subbing first graders. One of the students asked her, “What should we call you?” She said, “You can call me Miss Hale.” The little girls eyes got big, and she said, “WE CAN’T SAY THAT WORD!” We live in the south. With their southern accent, they pronounce hell as hale…so she thought my sister wanted them to call her Miss Hell.
My cousins went to Catholic school and one of them, the boy, told the nuns that his mom drank everyday. His mother (my aunt) drinks a glass of wine at dinner everyday. She is spanish, and this is typical in our family. My poor aunt had to explain it to the priest the next day when she got called into the church office smh
Yes I absolutely adored those books. She was supposed to dust the living room she thought that was odd that it would make more sense to undust but she did what the list said, and she filled it with dust!
When my oldest son was in Kindergarten many years ago, he was learning about drugs. They were also taught that cigarettes were a drug. He asked my husband who was a smoker, when he was going to quit. My husband gave his standard answer, "Soon". His teacher called the next day and told me he had announced that his dad was going to quit smoking drugs soon. A couple years later I received a phone call from the principal at the same school regarding my daughter. Her teacher had noticed that she had a mild bruise on her head near her temple. When asked what happened, my daughter explained that her mom had hit her in the head with a chair.... When I finished laughing I explained that the children liked to lay on the floor with pillows and watch TV. I would sit in my oversized recliner and join them. Unfortunately, my daughter had scooted herself close to me without my noticing, when I pushed the button that quickly released the foot stool, it flew up and hit her in the head. She cried for a few minutes, and obviously I felt terrible. Sooo, my daughter told the truth, she just neglected to say it was an accident.
My mom was a 2nd grade teacher near an Army base in Georgia in the late 1960’s. She heard a child telling their friends that their daddy was so tired after getting home from Vietnam that he needed to take a nap with mommy.
My son’s best friend in kindergarten told the teacher that his dad beat him every night. They called CPS and when they asked him what happened he explained that his dad and brothers wrestled every night and his dad would beat him at wrestling and would then tickle him. His mother was mortified. We had a good laugh about it.
My daughter is starting PK3, and I will begin teaching at the same school in the fall. So, she’s come to campus with me a few times. Chiiiiiile, when I tell you she does not hold her tongue around them people. I’m sure I’m going to get plenty of calls to my classroom from the office.🤣
I am the director of a childcare centre. One of the parents told me that her 4 year old excitedly told her that some of the educators had their own children. When she asked who had children he happily told her that I had 30 children - thank God I don't! (although I do have about 300 that I am responsible for - but only during the day, and at night it's only my 2 who are now adults)
Young kids are the best comedians on the planet because it's all so natural and innocent! A few years ago, I remember seeing a hilarious story on the news: A little girl went to school and told her teacher that her family had weed at home and she had helped her dad with it. The teacher was shocked and called the cops. When the cops got there, they asked her to show them where the weed was. She took them to the backyard and proceeded to point at the ground. Turns out that her father had enlisted her as his little helper when he was doing yard work the day before and was pulling up weeds!! You teachers know that you all need to call & clarify before overreacting! These kids are so literal! 😂 ☠ 😂 ☠
One day in my kindergarten class just after recess some students were talking about the dandelions on our grass area being a kind of weed. One student asked what a weed was. Just before I could answer a student chimed in to explain that “weed is medicine for your parents”!!!
I substituted in a kinder class. A little boy showed me a motion with his hand to his chin and said, “When I touch my privates, you need to do this motion to tell me to stop .” Nope, not gonna even address it. 😅
My son was diagnosed with ADHD. Speech Therapy was offered as a way to learn to wait his turn, focus, and work in small groups. One day his Therapist introduced a game to the group. You had to place your hand into a sock feel the item (apple, eraser, etc.) and without looking only by touching the item describe to the group what they were touching. My son came home and told me he and his teacher played a game called “The touchy feeling game “. Yes, I e-mailed his teacher immediately and we both laughed. Thank you Mrs. Napoli for putting up with our ADHD kids. 🇺🇸
My niece was 5 when she told the doctor "mommy gives me special gummies so I will go to sleep". She was talking about gummy vitamins. My sister would give them to her and tell her they had magic sleep powers so she would go to bed afterwards. My sister nearly died as the doctor glared at her.
My kids say everything with zero context. Like my 3 year old walking around loudly declaring "I like it in the butt." He is talking about when we was really young and needed to use rectal thermometers because he wouldn't cooperate with doctors using his mouth or armpit. My daughter says "Dad hits me." She's talking about when he bumps into her car with his while playing Mario Kart. And these phrases happen all the time. We sound like abusers.
My 4 year old told her preschool teacher i had locked her in her room and left her there. The teacher was concerned until my daughter finished the story. She told the teacher she kicked down the door and there were ninjas in the house. She fought them all off by herself and then went to find me! Hilarious
My parents were 10 years apart in age. One of my sisters, age 6, went to school after discovering this and told her teacher her mama was 19 and her daddy was 99. They were 29 and 39.
My kinder went to school and asked his very pregnant teacher what she knew about sex. He told her all we talked about all weekend was sex. My niece had a gender reveal party that Sunday so we were all discussing what sex we thought the baby was.
@@julieking4304 -- You don't have to nitpick. Everyone knows what the OP meant. Discussing the sex of an unborn child is perfectly correct. Adjusting to different practices goes both ways.
My nephew told his preschool teacher that his grandmama, my mom, drinks and drive..... when asked about it, he admitted she drinks unsweet tea and drives...lol
I got a call to come talk to my sons teacher. He was in kindergarten. His teacher began by telling me she understood that times were hard and many parents were struggling to afford the things necessary for their children. I thought she was talking about my offer to my daughters 2nd grade teacher, a long time friend, who I'd told to let me know if anyone needed help getting their supplies and I would anonymously provide. Uhhh, no. His teacher tolld me help was available for us. I was getting confused. Then she told me about him going to the restroom and how she ended up having to go help him. He had zipped himself into his pants. She asked why he wasn't wearing underpants and he said I wouldn't buy him any! I knew I had to make sure he hadn't pulled his favorite shirt out of the dirty clothes hamper. I didn't realize he thought underwear was a choice. I assured her he had 2 weeks worth of brand new underwear and socks we had gotten during our school clothes shopping trip. AAGGGHHHHH!
I was doing an academic assessment with a 4 year old last year. I asked her to write her name and she looked at me, frowned and said "I can't do that. I just a little kid". I agreed with her and we finished the assessment to play princesses instead.
I picked up my child from his class and as we drove away I asked him what he did in the class. He responded by saying that there were these white pills that the teacher gave them and some beer. Well, I figured this needed further discussion and eventually I realized that they were doing the Menthos and root beer experiment. My child did not consume junk food so he had no idea what their proper names were.
I used to teach pottery at a rec center for kindergarten to second grade age. I had my arms around from behind a little one being very careful to not touch him to help show him how to make a pinch pot. He turned and rubbed his face between my boobs and told me mine were so much bigger than his mommy's. I would have just worked beside him but the class was over filled. The table was full and there was no other way for me to get my hand on the table. I told him with a straight face that they come in all different sizes.
My sister is a 2nd grade teacher, she had a Mom bring in cupcakes. The Mom was a bit frazzled & said while she took a shower, the younger child ate all the frosting off the cupcakes, so she had to RE-FROST them!!!!
My little daughter told her grade school teacher that we didn’t have any food in the house…I got a concerned call from the school..I had to tell them we had plenty of regular food but she was mad because I’d refused to buy any chips trying to get her to eat healthier snacks! To Little Miss Potato Chip, no chips =no food!
When I was in the 5th grade,after Christmas the girls brought their new baby dolls to class. One girl brought a condom and was sticking her finger in it as a pacifier for her doll . The teacher asked where she got it and she said her mother had given it to her. The teacher said that’s no true is it, the girl admitted it wasn’t true. The teacher then whispered something to the girl and her face turned red.
I once made a diorama for church and used menstral pad wrappings for “walls” between scenes (I was about 9). I still think it made sense at the time and I’m always up for figuring out how to repurpose trash, but my mom almost made me re-do the project when she noticed lol.
@@ciannacoleman5125 had another student like a year after bring in tampons for art because I asked them to bring cotton balls or sponges for paint stamping. My experiences with this ceases to amaze me now lol.
My son found my tampons under the bathroom sink and decided they looked like rockets. One day he saw water running down the gutter by the road and decided the rockets might work as torpedoes. My daughter who is four years older came in howling laughter asking me to come see what he was doing. I had to laugh before letting him know they were not torpedoes and not to do that again. He was sure he discovered their use, and who knows what he told anyone about that whole thing.
This didn’t happen at school but my daughter’s father and I split up in December and haven’t been to court yet to arrange a custody agreement because it has worked out well so far due to his mom and sister being excellent mediators (despite him being a raging narcissist and abuser). My 7-year old daughter told me last weekend that her daddy has a new girlfriend and that he will be taking my daughter with him to Santa Cruz (we live in San Francisco) to be with her, after dating for only 3 months. I, naturally, freaked out and asked my daughter when this would be occurring (in a couple of weeks) and if he meant he would be staying (yes). After about 5 minutes of back and forth questions with her, she finally said, “nooooo mama, we’re just going to stay for a couple of days in a hotel!” I had already started looking up custody lawyers and worked on a text to his mom about it (who would’ve had an absolute meltdown because my daughter has been living with her for the last 7 years and she has done more to raise her than my ex has. It gave me a really good wake up call though that this COULD happen and I need to establish custody. As of now, we both still have equal rights, which means he could take her at anytime and there’s nothing I could do about it. But it scared the daylights out of me.
@jennifergraceh I had that exact thing happen to me. The divorce papers stated that I had full custody. The following year he took them out of state to visit him and his new wife. She was a sweet young woman, so I agreed. When it was time to return, he said they were staying. I called my attorney. As it turned out, custody was in the papers he was served, but the paragraph was omitted in the final decree. I smooth talked him into bringing them back "temporarily" and my attorney had the court amend the decree at no fee (obviously!) It was the terrifying experience!
I taught Dance to ages 3 to 17 for over 40 years. The 3 to 6-year-olds tell you everything! For example: “ I got to sleep with mommy last night because she and daddy had a fight.” “ my mommy likes vodka in her orange juice for breakfast” “ My mom snores like a bear, and my daddy farts a lot” and one of my all-time favorites, “ my mommy can do the splits, she doesn’t in front of daddy all the time”
