Crystal Meth Addict interview-Sara 

Being forced to marry an older man who got her pregnant at 16 years old, her ability to make decisions in her life was taken from her. I feel like she continues to make bad decisions because that is HER way of controlling her life. I really hope her saying her life out loud will give her the drive to start trying to forgive herself and reconnect with her kids and family. I have hope for her. ❤️

If I calculated it right, she had 3 kids by 20. I believe her mothers death, an abusive relationship, and stresses of motherhood overwhelmed her. She ran to escape. Sometimes that can be the only way to save yourself. I hate that the children suffered and I can’t imagine their pain. I hope she can find her way back to good health and good standing with her family.

Sarah's pain, isolation, fear and loneliness are so real. Her suffering is the plight of someone who has been abused and self-medicates as a result. Her ability to compartmentalize and dissociate is a symptom of abuse. She is a victim. I pray she finds the courage to get treatment, to forgive herself. She deserves every happiness❤

This one hits a nerve with me because I see slivers of my own mother in Sara. My sympathies lie with her children. She speaks of her trauma, of which she has been through plenty, but her kids have paid a bigger price because of it. And then to think she has a chance to actually meet up with one of them then chose to go and meet a man instead says it all about where her heart truly lies.

She seems like a pretty textbook case of arrested development. She was groomed, impregnated, and forced to marry at 15, and her emotional maturing stopped there. I hope she can find a really good counselor and just commit herself to doing what that person says for awhile. There is all kinds of potential for her!!!!

I honor Sara's life and the life of her three children, but just think: how would Sara's life been different, had her parents not coerced their 15-year-old child to get married to a man twice her age because she was pregnant? *This* is the question I cannot get out of my mind listening to her story.

Sara’s story reminds me how complex human nature is. As humans we are deeply flawed but that does not mean our hearts are not good. There is a constant duality in this life. Life is a beautiful fucked up paradox. Grateful for her story & perspective.

She seems like the saddest woman in the world. My heart goes out to her. I’m praying for you Sara.

This is probably one of the most honest interviews I've seen.

You can tell she needed to tell that story for a long time....I hope this saves her life.

She could literally turn her life around. Still be beautiful. Get a diagnosis. Get treated. Rebuild relationships with her kids. Stay focused. Have a beautiful life. If she would focus on gratitude, she could change. Start with being grateful for the sunshine, the flowers, the beauty in life. Be willing to get better and be grateful for that willingness to change. There IS hope Sarah!!!! ❤🙏 Go get it girl. Start with inpatient treatment!!! People online will help you!

Dear Sara, my heart goes out for you. your sadness made me also want to cry. Be sure, you are not the only one that feels alone. We care for you too from afar. Love

Being 15 and "dating" a much older man is abuse. Then, compounding that by having your freedom and independence taken away by being forced by adults in the family to marry him, which allowed him to continue abusing her. She said she couldn't think of where it went wrong. I'm no expert, but I think that is the catalyst of what went wrong. The trauma was deep before she was even an adult, despite the upper class lifestyle of her childhood. She had adult responsibilities and problems as a child before her mind was old enough to handle it. I was abandoned before birth by a parent who I'm sure had his own trauma and reasons. I'm not saying this as an excuse but as a deeper explanation other than just seemingly random "bad decisions." She said she thinks no one would notice if she went missing. I think she's had that opinion of herself for a long time and that's possibly the belief that led her to leave her kids, along with a desire for the freedom she had taken from her at 15. It sounds like she never realized her innate self worth, substituted it for a while by taking care of her parents. If your worth is being a caregiver to or impressing your parents and they go away, what are you left with? I hope she realizes how much self worth she has and how much worth she had to her kids from birth. I think getting clean(if she wants), stable, and building self esteem/self love and recognizing her trauma through therapy is important before trying to mend things with wounded adult children. I think if she works on herself, her kids will see that and maybe one day be ready to build a relationship with their bio mom. If they're not ever willing(which is their right), the work she does on herself will still help her cope and live her own best life. Again, I'm no expert. This is not professional advice, just my early morning thoughts as I watch the video and hear her story. I hope she does connect with a professional who is a good fit for her and can help her.

Guilt is literally killing this woman. Let it go Sara, life is too short.

This one had me riveted. I could not take my eyes off it. She bought me to tears. So natural and articulated her story superbly. I wish Sara all the love and strength

Lot more honest than a lot of the people we see here

I respect that shes been brutally honest. Its not for us to judge her. At least she is taking responsibility and not making excuses like most people. Its hard to look at yourself and expose all of your flaws, and secrets to the world.

The pain so very evident in this woman’s eyes is what drew me in, made me click to hear her story. She was molested by her children’s father and then married off to him. Trauma then more trauma and MORE trauma! She is not the only one.

20 year ago when I got clean, I was still "on drugs". The chemicals may have left my body, but I was still in that mindset. I had to tell my story. Had to get it out, show my weakness, and be honest. Only then did I start to heal, make amends, and move on. This can be her 1st step towards a better life, or the last confession, before all hope dies. I hope she uses this to fuel the fire. To surprise herself, and her family. Please let this be the beginning of a new life.

It’s interesting to hear how similar her & my mother sound when she said she’s afraid of dying alone. My mom left us on & off our entire childhood & chose to live her life for herself. That has caused my 2 brothers to completely shut her out. I’m 26 now & I have boundaries w her. She uses the “my kids never call, they wouldn’t care if I died, my kids treat me like I don’t exist”. I understand her pain but I don’t think she completely understands ours.

I knew Sarah and we were friends through middle and high school. We both had babies as teens. I've wondered what happened to you over the years, Sarah. I hope that you make it through this rough time in your life, Sarah. I'm definitely rooting for you. Xoxo Laura

When a man shares that he left his kids he isn’t questioned as to how something like that could happen. Men leaving their kids is just as damaging as moms leaving.

Does anyone know or have an update on sara?

When she said "I've never actually been Sara I heavily resonated with her, I feel such a connection to her struggle, the self sabotage and the playing a part I've never turned to drugs but I've done a lot of crazy stuff in search of myself. Hope she gets the strength to find herself and stop playing parts. Praying for you Sara ♥

Sorry to say but if you were drinking during your sons entire life, I can assure you his childhood was not beautiful. I can tell you this as the child of a (fairly moderate and well functioning) alcoholic.

As sad as it is, that was actually a good story, and now that she said it out loud she can find the strength to make changes and move forward in a positive direction. She is not making excuses, but telling her truth. Much respect to you Sara. I wish you the best. ❤❤❤

The fact that she wouldn’t talk to her daughter for ten years in order to keep up the facade really got under my skin.

Fingers crossed that Sara finds her place in this world! She deserved one more chance!When she told about the story that she came back to her hometown and no one recognized her anymore like Sara as a person, but like the homeless Sara, it makes me think about how homeless people are INVISIBLE by society. Mark you do a great job giving people the opportunity and visibility to share their stories!

How could she possibly know who she was? She was still a child with two children, and she wasn’t able to figure out who she was or what she really wanted from her life. I feel awful for her, worse for her children. I hope someone can give her the time, counseling, treatment she needs so desperately.

that was deep! i found myself vacillating between judging her and being broken-hearted for her. i am proud of her for telling her truth, and i hope she starts to do that more often.

thank you so much sara for sharing your story. i listened to the end and i'm in tears, there's still hope for you. this inspired me to talk to my dad.

My heart goes out to you Sara. It’s impossible not to see how much your children mean to you and how broken you are. You’ll be in my prayers.

Sarah was brave to do this interview. She seems like a completely lost soul,controlled by fear her whole life. The visible pain on her face was sad and heartbreaking. I hope some miracle of healing and clarity, happens for her so she can find some peace in the life🌺

She reminds me of my mother . She had two kids in Long Beach that I didn’t hear about until I was well into my 20’s . She met my father and had myself and my sister . We knew nothing until she passed in 2020 … she used drugs… she drank but she was a good mom when she was a mom. I always feared she would leave us and never knew why I felt that. We all live this life the best we can…. We can’t spend time judging eachother cause we come from different backgrounds. Different experiences. No one walks the same walk…

Imagine being a drug addict and not being able to get high anymore ….. that’s a fate worst than death

I really hope she has gotten the help she needs. It’s truly heartbreaking how far addiction can take you.

I almost never comment on videos but this one spoke so deeply to me. Sara is so raw and genuine through this whole interview and you can tell. Not only through her body language but the pain and desperation in her eyes and the calmness in her voice. I really hope she finds the support system and help that she needs to get back on her feet ❤ Something tells me she will. Good luck Sara, we're rooting for you.

Her poor kids. I can’t imagine how they coped with their mom just dropping them off and never returning. This one is super sad

I really feel sorry for this lady. She seems like she has been through so much, it's no wonder she seems so lost and alone. I really wish her well.

Ohhhhhh SNAP! I was judging her UNTIL the EXPLANATION! “Their Dad was THIRTY when (she) was 15” That’s child abuse.. She’s damaged.

People will judge but her pain is real, even if part of it is self-inflicted. I wish you will find some kind of peace Sarah.

Whatever judgement anyone can give her, she shared her story honestly and that's more than I can say for most people

I am very touched by this interview. The courage you have behind your voice - strikes me. Even though you made mistakes, and we all have, I now know you exist on this planet alongside me. In many ways I feel connected to the worries and self-frustration. We BOTH could have done better. I am currently learning how to allow myself to make mistakes. You are a sister to me. You have a lot to offer still.

She still has her brain, her body isn't wrecked, she simply has to get clean. Very much easier said than done, but if she doesn't get clean, in a few years she WILL be one of those wraiths you see on the street. There's still a chance for this woman. Get clean, get an apartment, get a job, every day one at a time, focus on what you can control, EXERCISE daily, read daily, and get locked into that pattern. If she's clean, there's also hope she can rekindle relationships with her kids. She has a future, she has things to look forward to (e.g., grandkids), she is not a lost cause by any means. I hope she can do it...

That is a real heartbreaker man. Probably the saddest one you've ever done. Please stay in touch with her.

Dear Sara, I have so much compassion for you. I understand the desperation that can drive us to do these seemingly incomprehensible things. The most important thing is to find a way to get clean and sober. 12 step programs can be extremely helpful with this as they provide support and a structured way to work through these issues. A peaceful, meaningful life for you is possible. Sending you much love and support.

I'll never understand her leaving her children. She permanently damaged them.

Sara, thank you for sharing your truth. I found your interview captivating, raw and honest. You have a gift for speaking. Perhaps writing too. I hope you will reach out for the help you need and deserve. You have an audience here that cares about you. We want to see you do well. Blessings to you and your children.

My whole life I've been saying silent prayer's for people who i never met but knew existed. And this channel has introduced me to exactly who they were aimed at. And I continue to pray, but now I see the faces in my head of the people who there intended for.

Has Sara ever had any real help? Is she open to counseling? She deserves some solid help, and some hope for the future. With help, she could piece her life together.

Sara, I have enormous amount of respect for you for sharing your honesty. I admire your vulnerability and openness. My heart breaks for you, and I would never ignore you if I met you in real life. I would be your friend. So many people are incredibly lonely and need support. You are not alone with those feelings. Sending lots of love to you

Getting impregnated by a older man and forced to marry is traumatizing for a girl of 15. She never developed a semse of self and seems to struggle with ever being accepted and sabatoging anything good...shes secretive to absolute detriment...poor gal...every lie and struggle shows on her face.

Self sabotage, self hatred.. It sinks in your soul and is so hard to fight. I feel for her.

This one hurt, being a Reno/Tahoe local, a mother, and a meth addict in recovery my heart hurts for her. Recovery is possible but you have to want it dearest Sara. Religion is not how I got out of the mess I created, Accountability and hard work and support is the only way I got out.

Her honesty is impressive. Not many people can admit to their mistakes. I see the level of deep pain she has and the guilt. I hope she’s doing better and able to repair some parts of the relationship she lost with her children.

I feel her pain. It takes one bad experience for some of us to fall of the Clif, and we keep going down the pit. Courage sister.

Your parents “having” you get married at 15 because you get pregnant as a catholic is not a good childhood. There’s likely more going on there she just breezed through

Wow, that's a lot of guilt. Coming on here and 'confessing' to the world this gigantic burden of shame she carries around - seems like a really good start. She seems very lucid, and certainly remorseful about how things have turned out. I hope that she can reconnect and seek forgiveness from the people she used to be close to. I hope this has been cathartic for her. "today is the first day of the rest of your life"

You can feel the pain in her voice, hope she finds peace and happiness. 🙏

This was one of the hardest interviews I've ever watched here, but the one thing is, she doesn't make excuses, she's aware of her mistakes and possible mental illness, and she is completely aware what she has done and is doing wrong!, so I believe she can be helped with a little push and can become the woman she doesn't even know she can!. Such a sad story I hope and pray she can sort herself out on to the right path.

I can only respect her for her honesty. Who am I to judge? I've made bad choices and mistakes myself. I sincerely wish her all the best x

Man I must have seen 100 of your videos... this just broke me. I'm sitting here in such an introspective rabbit hole relating to the loneliness she is talking about. It's real out here. Damn Sara you are loved I hope shit gets better. I'd end this by saying imma go call X family member but I cant even do that...

The worst thing that ever happened to this country was closing all the mental hospitals.

Wow. Just wow. The broken souls journey….your channel is fascinating and heartbreaking 💔

There’s something so childlike about Sarah’s need to be seen. I wish she talked more about her childhood. There’s a lot of hidden pain she glossed over.

There is definitely childhood trauma that is not being revealed. One does not get pregnant at 15 when everything is wonderful at home. I wish her the best in the future.

My heart goes out to Sara.I was once like her, I have 28 years clean and sober.Prison saved my life.....

Mark, without question Sara was the most powerful heartbreaking interview you've done so far and I've seen them all. Thank you Sara sending love healing and peace.❤

I love your style of interviewing these incredibly broken people. The way you respectfully get them to speak honestly and candidly without really pushing them too much is amazing. Thank you for all your hard work.

The pain is just written all over this womens face, such a heartbreaking story

You remind me of how devastating depression can be and how precarious life can be. It baffles I’ve been sober and recovering for 20 years.

I have watched all episodes, yet, for me this is the deepest, saddest story, ever. I truly feel for this lady, and I respect her honesty. You can tell how much pain and shame she carries. They say, do not blame circumstances, or others, for what happens to you, but I believe that in her life, many things and people were just very unfair. Leaving her kids with their father, is not like leaving them with strangers. They grew up in a caring home, it seems.I do wish her the best, from the bottom of my heart.

When I watched this I seen my mother. For years I’ve held so much hate for my mom for being an addict and not being here for me… As ive grown older I’ve started the forgiveness process. I really started to understand that she was always just doing the best she could.

the accountability she has taken for her situation is admirable. you’re a beautiful person sarah, i believe in you and your recovery.

I feel bad for this person! She's very honest and genuine. I hope she finds a way to forgive herself and recovers from all pain.

She is the first one I've ever watched and genuinely understood and connected with. No BS she just put it all out there. I feel like I know exactly who she is. Because I am her. I didn't make the same choices thankfully. But I feel that same feeling of just not belonging anywhere. Not deserving. My head knows better but there's always something making you feel different. I will pray for you to find the support and guidance to make better choices and for you to finally love yourself. Because the person I just watched is totally deserving and worthy with so much to offer.

Why do people differentiate between being an alcoholic and a drug addict? Isn't alcohol just a liquid drug? Seriously though, I'm curious about this.

I cried for you and your kids. All of you went through so much loss. I hope you find that it's not too late connect with your family. Those kids need you more than you will ever know. Please, please get help. You can be again the center of your family. I'm sending lots of love from across the globe.

One of the most powerful installments. An intelligent and self-aware human being extremely honest. I have a lot of empathy for her.

a brutally honest episode of self reflection that is truly heart breaking. I really hope Sara gets to break out of this cycle of loneliness and despair and is able to find some happiness

Thank you Sara. I appreciate your story. I think it can help us; those that come from broken homes, that have drug addiction in our genetics, those of us who always were on the track destined to lose. I think you have everything it takes to get back on track. I see you, and believe in you.

My heart is breaking for Sara. I wish I could help people like this. The book, "The Power Of Now" changed my life but I was ready for it and the words were so transforming. I've recommended it to people but they usually don't read it. One friend got as far as chapter three listening to the audio version but couldn't finish it. I think you have to be ready for it. I think it's the most important book ever written. Sara, please read that book. I wish you well

She was a child with two children and she was a victim of domestic abuse, it’s understandable why she ran, she was obviously completely overwhelmed. It doesn’t seem like her parents gave her a chance to grow up by forcing her into marriage at 15. I feel so bad for her, I pray she can get help and forgive herself and that her children will forgive her as well

She absolutely needs to hear that she can change things. Her trauma tore her up and she had a psychotic break. She was a child when she became a mother. My heart goes out to her children.

This interview was emotionally raw. You can see and feel her intense pain and I truly feel for her. 🫂 Sara you need to find yourself, then learn to love and forgive yourself. I hope you reach out to the folks who can give you the intense therapy you need. You're a very intelligent woman. Change can be made in a heartbeat 💓 just take baby steps in a new direction. I will be praying 🙏 for you. I wish you the very best.✨️💗✨️

She's really smart and articulate. She could do anything she set her mind to. Beautiful voice. She tells herself she's a loser and she's not. We all wish we could hit the rewind button on our lives and change things about our past. She just needs a good friend and some guidance. God please bless Sarah and help her. Amen

The person on the lights and camera did a wonderful job. Great editing and sound. It takes a lot of guts for this woman to lay her life out for all to see.

My heart breaks for this woman. I hope she gets help and finds some joy in her life.

My sister has been a meth addict her entire life and it ate her bones. She is suffering terrible now. I think about us as kids and would never have imagined how everything would turn out. Its heart breaking

I'm so rooting for this gal - she seems to be authentically trying be honest about and with herself, if she can just forgive herself, realize she's a valuable person, get past grieving the past, and start the path to get sober, bit by bit, day by day - I hope so for her, god help & bless her

I’m trying to put the pieces together ~ Sara is 39, her children are 23, 21 & 18 (a five year age gap). She’s 16, 17 and 20 when her children are born - Raised and educated Catholic - Married at 15 everyone lived with her parents - Not sure when her family of four move into their own place - Leaves her family; meets an ex-con at 19 - She and new boyfriend (Jacob) moved in with her folks; is pregnant or gets pregnant - Disassociates with her older kids when they’re four and fives years old - Jacob dies during a police report. He is tasered. Mentioned of a lawsuit ~ quiet - Mother is dx’d with late stage cancer. Parents sell everything for her treatment at non big name cancer treatment center in CA - She and her sisters go back/forth to be with their Mom in hospice - Mom dies of cancer, Dad is a drug addict and dies 7/8 years later - Not sure when she moves to CA - She drinks two gallons of vodka a day - Returns to Reno; remembers to seek the Methodist church? - Returns to CA an intravenous user, new home Skid Row - Only the eldest has minimal contact ** there is to much unexplained money ** it’s clear her kids wanted a structured by joining the military * Not sure which direction is best suited for Sara ?! Drugs & alcohol are generally nobodies best friend

So she abandoned her two eldest children, who probably now have a huge amount of issues from their Mother just disappearing. This stuff has effects on everyone involved.

She makes no excuses just plain and raw honesty! I'm rooting for you so much sweetie. I'm praying for you! You are strong and beautiful and I believe you will overcome this and I pray you get the forgiveness you need and deserve ❤🙏🏻❤

7:00 I’ wasn’t doing drugs or anything. I was drinking pretty heavily’. And that’s why alcohol is the most dangerous drug. The social acceptance, even by law makes it so insidious, unlike most other drugs, which are much easier to recognise when you have a problem with them.

Sara seems like a person who can eventually find her way out of the drug use if the right help were available.

This woman reminds me of my mom. Chooses self or men over kids no matter if she's on drugs or sober. I hope she gets clean but her selfishness is who she is. That won't change. She's said she had a chance to meet up with her daughter but decided to go see a man. Omg! I feel so bad for her kids,not her.

Mark, there are many imitators of your channel on RU-vid but only yours comes across as genuine and that's down to who you are and your reasons for doing this.

I feel for this woman. Life is sometimes incredibly tough and cruel. People on the outside don't get it and will simply say you grieve and move on but it doesn't always go like that. My wife and I lost a son and, shortly thereafter, lost a granddaughter. A couple years later, covid killed both my wife's parents. She has not been able to recover. I know how this girl feels and my heart goes out to her. She may never recover fully but, maybe with time, she will straighten out. Don't give up young lady, help is out there, we are all rooting for you and your children.

She seems to have become stuck as the confused, scared, immature and naive 15 yr old girl she once was. Good for her for opening up. She won´t let herself cry. She won´t even say the word cry. Hopefully she can get some help, work through all the pain and learn to realize that she is an amazing worthwhile adult woman and can get some self worth and live a happy life. A very broken woman living with layers and layers of GUILT.

This is without a doubt one of the most heartbreaking interviews on this channel I sincerely hope she gets the help she very clearly needs and that her children will prehaps start to forgive her.