CURRENT MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE (SPOILER: I’M NOT OKAY) | Katie Carney 

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." - Robin Williams

I am an old woman & the one good thing about getting old is you stop obsessing about people or things, start seeing situations in a detached yet empathetic way, like all the sharp edges have been worn down & expectations are somewhat lowered. Unless a person is physically or emotionally hurting you, don't write a person off because you can learn & grow from every encounter, every relationship. Maybe they can grow from knowing you, too. Nobody is perfect, nothing is black or white, everybody has their own issues, and we are all on this journey together - crossing paths.

Severe Depression. General Anxiety Disorder. Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. 5 years ago my wife died. I get up every day. we're all just finding our way.

I have depression & panic attacks!! I lost my hubby in 2014 & my 20 y old daughter in 2019! I miss them so much & the struggle is very real!!

I'm a bit of a recluse due to my mental health issues, and it's so difficult for me to make friends. Thank you for reassuring me that someone understands. I don't feel so alone when I'm watching your videos. God bless you, Katie.

The one way you can get out of a rut is to get your focus off of your problems and do something to help someone else in need...

This video just hit me hard. My son is horribly depressed. It scares me. I sat with him until 3 am. Just sitting with someone who is struggling can help them through a tough time.

You nailed it!!! People that don't have mental health issues just don't understand. Period. Like you, I suffer from anxiety, depression, OCD, and let me tell you....people think I'm the life of the party, the extrovert, the comedian. Here's the real truth: WE SHOULD WIN OSCARS FOR BEST ACTRESSES AND BEST PERFORMANCES EVERY SINGLE DAYS OF OUR LIVES!!!! They don't see the real us. The anxiety, the worry, the fear, the repitition, the ruminations. They will never get it. I hear the same comments all the time. I've learned to just smile and say "whatever." Thanks for sharing.

The apartment is a test. Do what ever it is that makes you the happiest.

I've struggled with depression for years! Trust and believe, you can laugh and have a great time with family, friends, co-workers. etc and be so deep in a pit it's scary. People who suffer with depression are some of the best actors on the planet. It's not always an act, you can have moments of happiness...but as soon as you are alone, depression is right where you left it. That's how after someone commits suicide, people end up saying, "I never knew they were depressed, They were such a happy person, They had such a great sense of humor, or They were so much fun to be around!" Depression just IS, doesn't have anything to do with where you are, what you have or who you know...IT JUST IS!

Im not one of the people who has been saying/thinking that. But....isnt being in this apartment the reason you are *able* to see family and friends so much more steadily/spending less time alone? Because of the logistics? Im not saying you should be there forever. Your needs clearly vary and you know what you need best! But it seems like the apartment facilitates being closer to more of your emotional support system right now. I have worked in a supportive therapy program for 10+ years, entirely based around the clinical observation that (though everyone needs a different ratio of socializing vs alone time) when people are alone *too* much, they dont get better, no matter how steadily they take their meds or go to therapy. Our program was designes to help people make peer-friends and do relaxing, fun things with them because it can be a HUGE boost to the effectiveness of traditional mental health care. Do you think you might regularly spend time in a stationary home base, when you feel you need it?

There is also the placebo effect that happens when a major change happens. It is a temporary change in situation, which can cause a change in perception. BUT that doesn't necessarily mean a true SHIFT in happiness or mental health. It is just a temporary shift.

Katie I'm really conflicted about what you said and a bit angry. First of all with an audience of so many followers hearing what you say and taking it to heart you have a responsibility to not mislead, misinform or relay poor information about mental health. I understand what your saying having battled mental health in the form of bipolar 2. Telling people to not say encouraging or flattering things because it doesn't validate what your feeling or want people to know is just your choice. Don't speak for all the rest of us please. Over 35 years of treatment and medications, longer than you've been alive has taught me that my insight is skewed by the illness and shouldn't be trusted. What people I trust and have my best interest is what's to be trusted wether I like it or not. Einstein said, "the same mind that created the problem cannot solve it" What's more I've learned that others opinion of me is none of my business. When I put so much emphasis on who likes me and for what or how much I'm feeding the beast of the "victim complex" a type of peculiar narcissistic martyr process that would have me enjoy others validating my "woe is me" desire to be thought of as a poor victim in my circumstances. According to psychologists, victim complex sufferers employ these “safer to flee than fight” beliefs as a method of coping with or completely avoiding life and its inherent difficulties. As noted behavioral scientist, author, and speaker Steve Maraboli puts it, “The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.” It's been my experience in group therapy that most people suffering mental health disorders are of above average intelligence and function at very high levels especially during hyper manic states. It's like drug when you are more creative, more motivated and have many plans. Then as always comes the swing to depression as we burn up those extra neurotransmitters and end up on the couch watching tv, sleeping too much and even battling health issues as a result of being so driven. The bottom line is this, unless you are actively involved in mental health care and medication along with good accountability a person has no business using a successful social media platform to tell others how to treat or what to say to the majority of us that WANT ENCOURAGEMENT AND PRAISE FOR AN APPARENT GOOD PLACE IN MY MENTAL HEALTH. God bless you and keep you safe during your current struggles and understand your not alone. Craig in Chicago.

The emotion of happiness is not connected to mental health in any complete way. Many people don't understand about clinical depression

I sometimes can’t make it through these videos. It’s okay to not share your whole life, but I just can’t get on board with you being so upset at your followers for making assumptions based on the content that YOU choose to put out. Your mental health journey is different from mine and from each and every one of your subscribers. It’s never okay to imply that we should just KNOW how you’re feeling or where you’re at in your journey. If people are happy that you make yourself appear happy, it’s not such a horrible thing. We’re rooting for you, even if you want to twist the positive comments into people’s negative “assumptions”.

I feel rain/ Sometimes I smile/ I feel pain/ And I visit awhile/ I am neutral/ Sometimes fire/ I am ice/ In this mire/ The wire I walk/ Sometimes has no end/ But I inch forward/ Again... Again... And... Again

I have had depression and anxiety on and off for all my life...just because u look fine don't mean to say you are..people say pull yourself together..its not that easy..keep strong..and big hugs from fay in the UK.. love your channel ❤

As someone who also struggles with depression and anxiety, here are a few things I do to combat it! Stay active, go on a walk, be in nature, go to the beach, go see animals/walk at zoo, make sure you are taking all of your meds, be around people who love and lift you up and try to stay busy. Music always helps! Stay strong!💜 take things day by day and be kind to your self! You got this Katie!

Omg...take a breath girlfriend...

One of my favorite things I’ve read was “Instagram is a highlight reel”. (This can obviously apply to all social media’s and RU-vid). It really put it in perspective for me that it IS a highlight reel and like you said, we’re only seeing what people choose to share and we can curate our feeds to only look at things that make us happy or feel neutral about.

You shed such great insights here on mental health, depression and other emotions like judging and jealousy. You are encouraging to others that may suffer, but haven’t done the work you have to understand it. I am thankful you have sought out the resources to assist: doctors, medication and a therapist.

have to force myself to brush my teeth sometimes. All my love to you

This maybe one of the most honest video’s out there. I completely understand everything you’re speaking of. I suffer myself, but it’s not a 24/7 feeling of being laid up in a fetal position, crying, and just plain uneasy. We have great moments of being happy, with friends, family etc. But we also have great moments of our heads running the show, depressed, anxious, nervous, and just general uneasiness. God Bless you, Katie. Thank you for sharing snippets of your life with us.

It's called not seeing the "big picture", sigh!

You talk to fast, slow down a tad

I’m proud of you for getting by everyday, and for sharing your story. There is such a stigma to mental health because many people are afraid to talk about it. I’m glad you’re not. You’re making so many people feel less alone and lost. Thank you, Katie!

I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I get it. I have had anxiety, depression and PTSD most of my life. I get up and go to work everyday so a lot of people don't realize my personal struggle.

I hope you figure things out for yourself and look on the bright side of life.

Been there- done that..have periods of times “ okay”, other days (weeks) can’t answer phone, doorbell, get out of bed. Good friends love you “anyways” and there are very few, but also precious..you are so precious to me, Katie 💞

Wow Katie. I just have to say these are by far my favorite videos of yours. Not because of the subject matter, it sucks as reality often does. But, because of the vulnerability that you are willing to share and that I have come to greatly admire and respect you for. You are an intelligent and insightful human being and these videos are where I have seen that really come out. No kidding, It inspires me. So thanks for that. For you and all of us I hope that things get better; I accept that they may get worse; I know that they will inevitably change. You taught me that.

I suffer from mental health issues as well. Thank you for being honest, as well as being willing to put your story out here for others. I am always willing to be a shoulder to lean if you need it.

No one knows who is suffering within. you could sit beside someone who is falling apart..

I totally feel ya. Iv been on my couch for the last 6 months. I cry every morning bfor I go to work and I love my job. But cry because I don't wana go. Depression sux so bad. I love ya. Keep pushin u got this. 😘😘

Honestly I don’t think people thought you weren’t having mental health issues. Obviously it doesn’t go away. But those videos were good to see. I enjoyed seeing your friends family in an area that I am familiar with. We all aren’t bubbly and happy all the time either. Have a great day! I hope I never hurt your feelings.

I have be fighting against SAD since last November, I am so looking forward to Spring.

We edit our life and smile at times to avoid having to discuss or explain ourselves. When you are struggling it is exhausting to have to deal with others. Its a protective mechanism. I wish something as simple as a living arrangement resolved mental health issues. God bless you.

Katie. Maybe you should show us more if your down days.

My son suffers from depression. He also smiles through his depression. I’ve learned that just because he’s appearing happy...that’s just situational. He can sound good, seem good but be breaking apart inside. I’ve been on the phone with him for many hours. He thinks ppl are tired of hearing how he feels, so he won’t share it. But, he knows I’m his safe place. He can dump all his anger, tears, depression, etc ... he can even be angry at ME because I don’t take it personally... I know he’s transferring. He acts happy, and sometimes truly is happy. But there’s always the underlying issue. I completely get what you’re saying.

It's ok not to be ok, but don't go out of you way on a daily basis to create your own misery.

Your honesty is refreshing. Sending love!

My adult son lives with us because he has severe OCD, PTSD from bullying in school & depression. The therapist he saw did not help at all. He is actually healing himself. I have been up many many nights with him. He is so appreciative of this & said you are the only one who cares. Breaks my heart. I would do anything for him.

I think what is important is that u continue to get help. I hope u r still seeing that therapist u talked about when u had that sponsored vid.

I sensed. You and I are twins in this way. I sensed and I hoped and prayed. Good days and bad days. You know all this. Hang in there sweetheart. People can't really help, but a lot of people do care. You matter.

A person needs to have a presentation in the world to be among society. One cannot just put every real thinking detail out there, as it would not be safe nor fair to others. Privacy is needed.

Good on you for being self-aware. Good luck to you on your journey. Good on you for sharing mental health struggles, triumphs, and the every day mundane nature of it.

I actually really miss you on the road & look forward to you in the car travelling again. I think it’s great that you are taking a little break over the winter to recharge but definitely miss your car videos. Definitely some of the happiest looking people suffer the most! Like Robin William. Take care of yourself! Lots of love from the UK 🇬🇧

I’m so thankful for these updates. Makes me feel like someone else understands. As always, I want you to know that I’m here for you. That’s not gonna change. ❤️ Edit:: I also think that (along the lines of what you’re saying) people really seem to want to put people in a box and unfortunately pretty much no one truly fits into those boxes. I’ve had such an issue with feeling guilty when I am smiling and laughing because I’m worried someone thinks I’m totally fine or that I’m faking when I’m sad or having issues with my mental illnesses.

Just a thought: I'm assuming you are gluten free due to Celiac Disease. Many of us with CD or leaky gut syndrome suffer from anxiety and drpression. If you have alot of food restrictions, it can cause vitamin deficiencies. When you are deficient in certain vitamins, it can trigger anxiety and depression. B vitamins are important for proper nerve function, Magnesium relaxes the muscles and has a calming effect on the mind/ body, low iron can cause weakness, brain fog, low energy etc. I can not believe how much better my mental health is with proper vitamins and supplements. Best of luck, sweet lady.

What an intelligent conversation. I was wondering how you've been. I've really been struggling myself. I completely hit a wall and now have to figure out how to dig myself out. Hang in there, girl. Much love. It sure isnt easy. I sure related.

Driving around not exactly optimal for health. God Bless you!

I always say when l go to different channels some don't feel real to me nobody is happy 24/7

This is the genuine Katie I love. Please stay like this rather than that clickbait crap. You may have won me back over with this. Mental health issue def arent fixed with housing. I'm proof of that. Just like NF was able to make his dreams come true and hit the worst depression of his life. Theres 2 types of depression. Situational depression can be fixed by life changes but major depression doesnt work like that the depression comes out of nowhere and overrides anything.

You are so right, Katie. It does not help at all to tell a depressed person to, "Buck up." It only makes them feel misunderstood. Depression sometimes even slows down people's motor skills. The "blues" is not the same as clinical depression. So hard.

I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety for years. I am so thankful that you are here to give a voice to all of us who suffer. Thank you Katie!

You’re really an amazing person and I appreciate your honesty so much...we all struggle with issues in our lives and it’s so comforting to hear someone who truly gets it’s and know s it’s okay to not always be okay..God Bless and keep doing what you’re doing...it means a lot to so many😊

Praying for u, sending u good vibes my aniexty messes with me alot

Definitely understand the anxiety and depression. I've been knee deep in both for the last 5 weeks or so.

I miss your road travel but I get why someone would say that about your happiness. You are only showing your happy times. Now I'll watch the rest of the video.

Boy! You have hit the nail on the head. Now I understand what is going on with me. Don't want to leave house, don't want to clean house, don't even want to do my crafts. Trying so hard to get better. I am with you girl

As a single mom with mental illness, it's like I have to put it on pause to be functional. I'm not okay singing with my kids in the drop off line at school. They still have to go to school, I still have to take them, still have to feed them and care for them. It's not fake either way. I love that you talk about giving yourself grace. There's been days when I fake it to get the job done and go home and crash. I also have a special needs 5 year that requires loads and loads of supports and drains me emotionally. I think you are spot on with everything you said and it needs to be said and talked about. It's hard but so strong and brave and putting a voice out there for those that can't.

Katie people now days are not only very judgmental but they assume.. I to live with bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder so I truly feel with what you are saying! You should never have to explain your deep personal issues unless you want to!! Peoples judgement yes can hurt but you know you and keep being you your a beautiful person!!

the stigma associated with mental health issues hit me every day. I do some volunteer work for my hometown but my depression and anxiety issues are my worst problem. My family don't want to be there for helping me, I do everything in my power to make my life the best possible but it's not easy. Happiness is what I want but I need to find out a way to be happy without meds that controls my life. I deserve a better life and people should be more open minded about mental health issues.

Keep being you! You’re an amazing and bright woman! You’re an inspiration to many and so courageous for being and open book. Keep fighting the good fight and never let negative Nancies get you down

💜Praying for u today. Glad u have an outlet to talk it through (audience and therapy both!) you have a lot of good insight that I need. Thank you💜

Katie; thank you for sharing. It takes courage to open. Believe it or not, your videos help me as a mom to help 2 out of our 3 with depression. They both are in counseling and other items that helps their own individual depression.

I so agree. And it's ok, be you and do good for you. We're fans and can relate, and just want you to be happy.

Your message resonated so much with me. I've never commented on your channel before so this is new for me. Bear with me please. When you mentioned the negative thinking it hit home so much. I can appear smiling and happy, when in reality I can't stop those thoughts! I consistently have to distract myself. Thank you for reminding me that I'm not alone. That others sometimes suffer in silence and/or laugh on the outside, but are sobbing on the inside. May God continue blessing your channel and your much needed messages of understanding and compassion. You are a true gem!

Katie, thank you SO MUCH for using this platform to share these types of things so that HOPEFULLY the people that don't have these issues can at least learn more about it, so that they may develop better understanding & empathy for those of us that do struggle with these issues/symptoms, etc. Sometimes we can feel VERY alone with these issues, feeling like NO ONE understands, which just exacerbates the whole situation. I REALLY respect you for being open & honest, even at times when it can get rather raw! I totally get what you were saying & my hope is that it helps other people understand or recognize they are NOT alone in their thinking & coping. Hang in there, kiddo! I'm proud of you for sorting through these things. Together we can all get through these times😉👍💞

This was an outstanding video Katie! I totally agree with you on many of your points, especially that we need to talk about mental illness more so that we can finally erase the stigma that is holding people back from getting help because they're to embarrass to talk to the doctor. But I totally get you on the perception Thing too. In my social media life, it seems like people are always assuming that I am having this Grand life and I don't have anything near a grand life, but I have a good life and I'm largely content. I also have depression and mine is usually worst from December to March because I also have seasonal affective disorder. Do you know if you have SAD? I ask because even an inexpensive therapy light can really help me. I have gone back to using it daily and I had two or three days where something was wrong electronically and I couldn't use it and I could really tell difference without it! To be almost through January and not be super depressed is a big deal for me so I'm really happy that the light has worked. I may have told you this before in a comment but, my RU-vid Channel really focuses on positivity and positive self-image. And one time maybe two years ago I was having a really hard time with depression over the winter and I talked about it in a video on my channel. And a couple people said oh man you're bumming me out oh, you're usually so positive! And I felt really unsupported and misunderstood.

You're amazing Katie to open up like this and I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Living with depression has to be very difficult and I can't imagine what you go through every day. I hope one day you'll get rid of these demons and live the rest of your life happy and healthy.

Great video. Ty! Sometimes what works for ourselves works sometimes and not others. It’s like I have a list of things I try when I’m depressed. You are so brave.

I struggle every day, so I understand where you are right now. I hope you know that we love you! Thanks for sharing your life with us..it helps so many!

Wow Katie. I have been watching your videos for about a year now since I had lived in my car for a time. I really resonated with this video and I felt deeply touched by all your words. You came with a serious message and because the truth of it all was so eloquently and profoundly said it had a very, very deep impact on me. This isn't the first time you had that impact on me. It reminds me of a quote I heard recently, "The wound is where the light enters". Love you lots, Katie! Keep ❤❤❤

You have been given a tremendous “gift “ of wisdom especially in the mental health arena . Stay BLESSED!!

Really important topic! Thank you for sharing your experience☺

Things can seem different on camera and I think we all struggle with some sort of mood disorder, whether it is recurring or sporadic. The issues can hit hard in your thirties especially mid. I am in the same boat, unmarried and single. Doesn’t exactly help when everyone else seems to have someone and it makes you feel alone. Just know that you are not alone. So many of us suffer from the same problems as you and it sounds like you are dealing with them in a positive way. I think it’s good that you are so honest and forthright about your life and you make it clear that you are not trying to present this perfect image of yourself. It’s not beneficial to follow someone who edits every photo with a filter and airbrushing. They may not be showing their real selves. Social media is full of people who are looking for attention and will do anything to get it. It’s a competition of sorts.

You are my hero, and I so appreciate you sharing all of this. Love you!

about what you said about vacations.. I get to go on vacations all the time, all I do is travel, mostly internationally.. it actually becomes stressful and lonely, and becomes a burden after awhile..

Very good points Katie! Great reminders. I’ve been there in the past where overall isn’t great but the times out with friends was great.

It's so good of you to share so much of yourself. As someone who has wrestled with mental health issues for most of my life, I think it's really helpful that you explain how someone's illness is not always 'on show' and that even during periods of the deepest darkest depression there can be moments where you can enjoy some things. Mental illness is so complex and labels are not always helpful to the individual. I can see how they can be helpful to clinicians to group certain symptoms under different diagnoses but for people living with complex sets of symptoms, labels can be misleading. This makes it easier for people who don't necessarily understand the complexities of mental illness to make hurtful judgments. Thank you again Katie for sharing your knowledge and experiences and I hope that your health begins to improve again soon. Much love x

Despite those mental illnesses you are an amazing person ❤️ You encourage me to enjoy life with every video when I am at my lowest due to my mental issues. God bless you katie

Thank you for being so open and compassionate and just being you. I can relate so much to this. & i feel so alone most of the time and a burden to my friends and families who really aren’t up and down like I am. I’m very emotional which is a good and bad thing. Hearing your story makes me feel less alone. & your right what you see on social media is an edited version of what that person wants others to see.

Thank you for this video. I have been thinking about and tying to explain this exact thing to my friends and family about myself. You’re amazing! I hope you feel better real soon!

Thank you for having these mental health segments, they really help me out. Also I think it's very important to keep an open dialogue about mental health issues. Thank you so much.

I am 63, been dealing with this stuff most of my life, people will NEVER understand unless they have been there. I ALWAYS put on a smile and seem fine but down inside it's a different story. I love how they always say do this or do that it will be better for you, they do not know. Thanks for the update :)

Ok , just viewed the rest of the video. Thanks for sharing with us and helping us better to understand what's going on . Ty for you .

We all need anchors in the storms of our lives,mine happens to be Jesus Christ. What anchors you? I hope that you will find happiness, and peace.

Katie, I always enjoy your videos and find that I learn so much listening to what you're experiencing. Maybe you could (and maybe you have already) do a video on suggestions that one could do/say to a loved one who is experiencing similar issues you. MANY of us have loved ones who we want to help, but just don't know how. Meanwhile, you are loved and thank you for sharing. You are important and you DO help because you are so vulnerable and transparent.

I love that you talked about this. I am the mother of a daughter with severe depression who lives a successful productive live and on many days just fakes it till she makes it. She is currently even off on FMLA for some mental health recovery. You remind me of her in that you are very self aware of your health. She also has spent years trying to combat her demons and many times with a smile on her face. Thanks for sharing!

love you, katie..love that you’re transparent and real. the world needs more of this..😘

I suffer from mental health issues too and totally understand. One of my fav songs is called maybe it’s okay if I’m not okay, and that song usually helps me when I’m feeling down.

Katie, if you want to be happy you need to be grateful and practice gratitude. Love you girl ❤

So sweety are EVER happy?

I love how you blow the lid off the fake Instagram/online persona many people present and remind us that we're only seeing small snippets of peoples lives. You have a gift, you are very calm and speak about mental health issues with empathy and intelligence and are comforting to listen to and relatable. Thanks for sharing girlfriend 💛

Thank you for using your time and energy to explain this soooooo well, Katie!! I don't have mental illnesses, but I do have chronic invisible illnesses & sooooo much of what you said relates to that too. I find it incredibly hard when I'm having a really tough day to be told I'm looking so much better! I know it's said out of love, but it brings up a lot of sadness, pain & confusion. Praying for you Katie. (I have a son with mental illnesses & it's super tough!) Blessings from South Australia🙏💕🐨

Your honesty is beautiful. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. I relate and I'm sure many of us do. Self care special lady. Do what ya gotta do for you right now. This video is brave and incredibly important for people to learn.

Thank you so much for this video, I think you have helped a lot of people understand what it's like to be sad, mentally and physically exhausted but smile and laugh on the outside, but feeling like your almost living in a play sometimes trying to get through this thing called life! ❤️

Sweet KATIE You are more than right....you and I are living the same life My depression and anxiety has been going on for over 35 years ... you are a gift by sharing I am so grateful and I asked my family it watch your videos ...Thank you and God Bless

Keep taking care of yourself! You are loved!

There is so much misconception around mental illness - there are good days and bad days just like physical illness, and you can sometimes feel better and act happier with company or an activity... but you may pay the price later. A few years ago, an insurance company here in Canada cut a woman off disability for depression when she posted pictures of herself on Facebook celebrating with friends at a bar, and posing in a bikini on a tropical vacation. Would they have cut her off if she had a physical illness and posted these pictures? Like, no, you are smiling and you go out and have fun so you cannot possibly have a disease? I have major depressive disorder and I work and pay my bills but there are people who can't - like anything, mental illness has levels of severity. I've had to go on leave from work in the past and I hate the knowledge that some (not all) of my coworkers are second guessing my need to be off work because they've seen me at the mall or something and I seem normal. It would be better if people left the diagnosing to the professionals.