Cursed Food from Childhood 

Craigory is not a real name, you are an absolute deMON

forgot kid cuisine

"I almost got cancer." The Buzzfeed accuracy is spot on.

She criticised him for his mnm game while she ate literal chapsticks lmaooo

Anti-vaxx parents: "I don't want my precious child exposed to chemicals and stuff >:(" Their kid: [literally munching on chapsticks]

Parents: i'm not vaccinating my daughter Child: Haha joke's on you imma eat like 7 chapsticks

All food is cursed if you put enough milk on it

Are you just going to not sing "She's Got a G-spot in Her Knee?"

When Ava disclosed eating Chapstick I could see Ted visibly take psychic damage

I'm surprised he didn't bring a nerds rope.

Ted has a wounded warrior project sticker on his truck and it makes me happy that the homie cares

I want she's got a g-spot in her knee on my spotify playlist

From anti vax child to living adult. A success story

alternate title: ted finds someone more cursed than him

chap-stick aka: the forbidden push pop

I’ve just realized how much yogurt I consume when i was an elementary schooler.

I love the idea that the people at the checkout thought you were struggling parents

“Is that a fetish?” Cmon Ava it’s the internet what *isn’t* a fetish

"she's got a g-spot in her knee" is just a plot point from scott pilgrim

when I was a kid I thought obama banned twinkies.

Ted is the only person that can pull of an "exaggerated swagger of a 16 year old" and be 40 and somewhat sane.

still offended that Gushers, the fruit of my childhood, is labeled as "cursed"

i love how ted friends are either done with his bullshit or just accept his personality and evolve to become even more cursed than he is.

When is "She's got a g spot on her knee" dropping?

This video unlocked so many bizarre childhood memories for me... like when i was a kid with my dad at the store and he refused to buy me twinkies, and when i asked why he said "because when you try them you'll have to finish the whole box." And what he probably meant by that was I was a little piggy with zero self control and I'd eat them all and get myself sick... But what my kid brain heard was that it was straight-up illegal to open a box of twinkies and not eat the whole thing, or else the police would know you didnt finish your box of twinkies and they'd come to your house and arrest you. So yeah, i've never once eaten a twinkie because of this. It hasnt ever occured to me how weird/wrong this assumption was until now.

Time to play youtube's favorite game: Friend, Sister, or Girlfriend

Why am I watching attractive callmecarson and off-brand Scarlet Johansson during the apocalypse?

When she asked about eating chap stick, Ted grew like 12 chins in disgust

"This food is just so... processed. It makes me feel how I want to treat my body from this day forward." - the Chapstick eater

“A chaotic good man and a chaotic neutral woman talk about their backstories over food meant for starving children.”

She looks like the typical love interest from every 2000s rom-com movie.

Twinkies are always strange to me. Every time I see a Twinkie, I think “oh man I haven’t had one of those in a while” then I tase it and am disappointed, but then the next time I see them I want to taste them again. It’s a weird cycle.

“Yogurt is like the mold of milk” is an opinion I have been repressing in my mind for so long, but when Ava said that i don’t think I’ve ever agreed with something more

Wow shouldn't she be on the guinness book of world records for being the longest living child of antivaxers?

she’s literally the female version of ted

honestly i'm starting to understand why american kids are so depressed

Rewatching this now realizing that Ted’s friend gives off fever dream energy

Ted looks like a straight James Charles

12:47 Teds face literally screams “hey that’s my job”

idk how youre at 20k, you are probably the funniest person on youtube

Ted: They'll never know which Wegmans I went to The six Wegmans in the state: Are you sure about that

8:38 my dad after saying merci to the Spanish waiter in the Italian restaurant

Every single parent that watched your videos: "HeY TeD iS tHaT yOuR GiRlFrIeNd?"

You know that girl is actually a little c- " I ate 3 tubes of Chapstick a day!" Nevermind

Ted looks like the type of guy who as a child would walk up to other kids and take whole bites of string cheese

5:54 When you see your friend crunch

yo ted when are you doing a face reveal?

I just discovered your channel and then you uploaded right after. Praise to the milk gods.

2:17-2:21 is the funniest part of this whole video, the utter confusion in Ted's reaction is gold

my favorite line "Im fucking smart and cool, mm"

This got recommended to me 10/10 would subscribe again

Nose pierced human in video: “I will not masticate deli meats.” Also nose pierced human in video: “AtE cHaPsTiCk”

this video smells like modeling clay

I’m so happy I randomly found this channel

It’s so nice to see a guy having such a good relationship with their mom ☺️

Dude she needs a RU-vid account she’s hilarious

For anyone that didn't grow up in America, this is almost like a drug trip

Ava is pretty cool

2:23 I’m with ted on this one, I have NEVER heard of nor seen someone doing that

The “I think I almost got cancer” sold the buzzfeed food review

These two entities are on a spectrum that exists for no one else but them

I dont remember being subscribed but I'm glad I'm here

The Mongolian children in my basement: 13:46

I am here to represent those who actually enjoy lunchables to this day. They're overpriced as hell, yeah, but it's a classic and I unironically enjoy them.

I don’t think anyone in the history of lunchables being invented, they traded cheese for a cookie.

15 minutes of Ted being made uncomfortable by his female counterpart

this is the most enjoyable video i’ve watched in a long time man

“I didn’t get to enjoy the foods of our youth-“ “nor the vaccines of our youth” *my sides*

I can't tell if she's his girlfriend, his sister, or both.

he looked genuinely confused and worried at 2:20

Is it bad that I genuinely enjoy some of these? Like Gushers can’t be that bad right?

They're both very awkward I love it

The most hilarious part of this entire video is when Ted asks if a little fruit mascot is named Craigory, because that was no joke the name of my friend’s very first Dungeons & Dragons character. The best part is yet to come though, because that name wasn’t inspired by this video, but by the sheer coincidence that my friend’s dad happens to be named Craig, and he did a funny spin on the name

Ted trust me a person that eats chapstick cannot be trusted R U N

Is that THE Wegman's? The Wegman's that PETER CAINE himself declared to be his favorite store?

I remember asking for lunchables all the time (for some reason) And I would always microwave the pizza until the cheese melted. Then one day a fifth grader told me I was supposed to eat it cold and I was so confused so I just stopped eating lunchables all together

7:04 actually not true, it rains diamonds on Uranus and Neptune, Diamond is denser than the methane, ammonia, and water left in the ice layer, so the diamonds would start to sink toward the planet's core. Get your facts right gogurt.

She seems like the type kid who wouldve eaten chapstick

When you gonna stop that fresh song “she’s got a g-spot in her knee”

Dang those foods where pretty cursed.

I can confirm that pizza lunchables are still good as an adult, but I miss the little red spatula stick they used to give to spread the sauce.

"I think I almost got cancer!" 12:10 lmaoo

2:18 THE LOOK HE GIVES HER I’M SCREAMING

everything ted did/said between 6:25-6:45 was scary accurate

their energy together is immaculate

5:27 ted has DEFINITELY done coke

4:12 and that my son is how Scott Pilgrim was birthed into the world.

10:15 This is how I want to be welcomed in the bedroom

“Why are you showing me your Twinkie?” - TedNivison, 2019

14:09 WHY DOES TED LOOK GENUINELY SCARED-

The only thing I could think of when watching this was a meme: "Is this some sort of American Joke that I am too European to understand"

4:16 Sounds like it would be a real knee slapper.

I’m 100% sure that the people at the grocery store thought that these were parents buying food for their kid, little did they know it was just two huge children

The shady kid: you got the stuff ? Me: 10:14

6:35 ah yes, YoCrunch roulette

I swear Ted moves and speaks like an animated character. I love it

7:39 we discovered in 7th grade it stuck to the walls..... pure. chaos. for tow days kids were fliging ham and putting it on bathroom windows to rot

13:44 idk but i cant stop luaghing over the way he says this!

6:43 I hate that you thought that was so fun! Literally at 2-3 tubes of lipstick

6:49 all I could think of was ilmangos intro