D&D Story: The Xanathar Guild (Dragon Heist Spoilers) 

"Hey was the door unlocked?" "Doesn't matter, that door - is staying closed." That is the correct way to respond to seeing a mindflayer

You see a humanoid with tentacles growing from his mou- *SLAMS DOOR* NOPE! Perfectly reasonable reaction.

Xanathar: and then we will make their children watch! Sylgar: blub Xanathar: whoa... im not that evil....

You could have let them kill the swashbuckling mind flayer, then reveal that it was all an illusion and the real mind flayer was just messing with them.

Opens door ->Mindflayer From a distance, a familiar voice: *I warned yo-* SLAMS DOOR SHUT From a distance: *Nevermind*

I think that if I saw a mind flayer with a pirate hat and a rapier I'd be even more frightened.

So people may think Puffin is interpreting Xanathar in his usual goofy comedic fashion... No thats literally how Xanathar would react

Fun fact, goldfish actually can live up to 20+ years when cared for properly. So... Xanathar killed the fish through neglect.

"Nevermind, I don't trust the clown." Dude I'm at work, I can't laugh like that.

A familiar voice calls from the distance... I WARNED YOOUUUUU

"The average life span of a pet goldfish is five to 10 years. In the wild, they can live as long as 25 years. In fact, the oldest goldfish ever recorded was 43 years old."

*If I was the rogue I would've lockpicked the door back to a locked state.*

Wow. That new player was like... the anti-newbie. New to the game but behaves like an experienced and hardened veteran.

Whimsy is probably the best character you've ever described and this episode solidifies it

"That door's staying closed." "We shouldn't explore that ancient temple." "No, we're not getting on the boat." "We're not staying in the town where everyone is super nice to us." Signs that a person has played D&D before XD

Xanathar: looks like we have a traitor. How should we deal with them Sylgar? Sylgar: blub Xanathar: yes and make their family watch.

"There's block text, I have to read for you." "You can take your block text, and *shove it* "

Sylgar's responses are PRECISELY what I had hoped they'd be. xD

Plot twist: Xanathar ate a Ring of Animal Speaking years ago and is fully aware of Sylgar's many doppelgangers, but A. He just loves all goldfish, not any one in particular B. He loves watching his minions scramble about in sitcom shenanigans every time he (secretly) kills a goldfish that disagreed with him

"Your using the wrong stat block?" "I was using the wrong stat block"🤣🤣🤣

Adventurer: Tampers with goldfish Xanathar: *I'm about to end this man's whole career*

longest living goldfish lived to be 43 years of age. on the average of 5 to 10 years with good water conditions and a nutritional diet.

You thought this went bad? Once my party split in a game, leaving several of their friends trying to secure a magical object, while the rest tried to fight an army of 18,000 Drow. (They were level 4, to be clear) Never in my absolute wildest dreams did I ever even conceive my players would try to fight the marching army they passed. Needless to say, 18K d20 attacks later (I used an online generator here, and just ran down the list until a player died) it was a near total party kill (2 survivors out of 6 players) the two survivors were the ones not there, then one of them strapped two barrels of gunpowder to themselves, ran forward, and blew up trying to take out the general. He failed too. The last survivor made the smart decision to run away as fast as his Dragonborn legs could carry him. But he got the artifact. The party considered it a crushing success.

I've had a character do the EXACT same thing as the rogue. *opens door to a room with 7 mindflayers* NOPE! *Jumps on the nope train to out of the dungeon.*

Honestly a crazy mind flayer that thinks it's a pirate would be awesome and funny

Your Aboliths are adorable. Like buy-one-for-your-daughter-at-the-state-fair level adorable.

What I like about Xanathar is that you'd think he's just some character made by a weird DM. But is actually an official cannon character.

PF goes through the process of detailing the relationship between Xanathar and the goldfish. Me: Ok how long until one of the PC's knocks the goldfish bowl over?

I dmed dragon heist ... This is a common occurrence, darn swashbuckling mindflayers.

Best riddle and the funniest to me: "How many fingers of yours you want to keep attached?" *Nice* seriousness.

Ben, you've ruined aboleths forever. That one from the Tomb Of Something always comes to my mind and they immediately lose their mystique.

I love that Ben's little notepad just had "kill everyone" written on it.

Puffin: the room... Player: *closes the door* “NOPE!” I laughed way too hard at that,

The player character IS the most unpredictable monster of all time!

"They are very similar and..." "Your using the wrong stats?" "I'm using the wrong stats."

“You see a humanoid creature with tentacles coming down from his chin-“ *SLAM* DM: Wait, I-I wasn’t finished describing him. Rouge: Doesn’t matter! We’re not going in there! DM: But I-there’s the block text that I gotta read. Rouge: You can take your block text and shove it! DM: But th-there’s a sce- Rouge: No! DM: You- Rouge: No! DM: Bu- Rouge: No! No, no, no, no, no! No to all of that. *No!* Other person: Hey is the door unlocked? Rouge: Doesn’t matter! That door is staying closed!

Being responsible and following the book, WHO does THAT?

I loved Xanathars personality from the moment I saw him on the cover of his guide to everything... his relationship to sylgar is my favourite thing...

ITS THE RETURN OF WHIMSY, ALL WILL LOVE HIM AND DESPAIR!!!

I love how the green haired character just hears whimsy and makes the “oh not this again” face as if they remember him

What..? The Barkeep was Chadwick Strongpants??

Puffin: “I was all ready with my notes and my notepad!” Notes: *Kill everyone* Me: “SPOILER!”

I honestly thought they were going to meet Xanathar and the fish, and point out the whole lifespan thing causing every minion in the room to silently freakout while Xanathar crunched the numbers and realised that they must be replacing the fish; and then the grief-fueled rampage...

8:40 You see a humanoid figure with tentacles running down his fa- **NOPE** May have been meta gaming but honestly I would too if it meant avoiding a mind flayer.

"You open the door and see tentacles..." *closes door immediately* "Uh, don't want to know the rest?" "Nope. Not going to happen. This door stays closed." Exactly would be my reaction. LMAO!

"See a humanoid shape with tentacles hang from-" *hellll naw, to the naw naw naw*

"Doesn't matter. That door is staying closed." I cannot tell you how many times my rogue's said this to my party over the last year.

5:30 "Look at them Sylgar, they're nothing but ants beneath our fee.. feats."

A MindFlayer that is a swashbuckler would be just Davy Jones from the Caribbean movies

Late night crew represent. Puffin has a video, we watch it.

In the last session of DnD I’ve played, I ate a Twig Blight. Okay so my character chugged two gallons of beer the night prior of the encounter. So my player got hella waisted, but I didn’t vomit, and I didn’t wake up with a hangover, so I decided that my character lost a few brain cells due to the rapid consumption of alcohol. Which then leads to the fight, which I rolled a one for encounters... which yeah. Anyways the battle was against twelve of these bush things (Twig Blights) and I decided to be mice to them. When one went up to attack me (and failing to land a hit) I gave it a hug. It tried attacking me again, and still failed to hit me. (Basically I was terrorizing the damn thing) My friend took it out of my arms because I refused to let go, and that took her whole turn. My turn was right after that. I decided that keeping it as a pet would be hopeless, but I didn’t want to kill it in a normal fashion. That’s just lame. So I eat it out of my friends hands. The DM just kinda looked at me funnily, then he said he needed to do some research. Idk what’s going to happen to my character.

Deadass the player who just shuts the door and leaves upon seeing a mindflayer actually killed me. Probably the most genuine reaction I've ever seen lol

6:48 First level! New player! ... First level. *New. Player. Ben. FIRST. LEVEL.*

Legends say that Sylgar was so ruthless he once destroyed Waterdeep and drowned many gangsters just for the thrills. " YES MUHAHAHA!!! I've made many adventurers sleep with the fishes!!!! Laughs manically" - dictated but not read by Sylgar the Ruthless

Your stone had an aboleth inside? Ours had a shoggoth, and we had to fight it after accidentally releasing it. Now that I think about it, our Dragon Heist had a lot of creative liberties. *We turned Trollskull Manor into a casino and hired Bonnie the barmaid and her "family" as our manager *Renaer Neverember was JFK *We actually learned Vincent Trench's secret, good thing he's our buddy *Inspector Poirot, Nick and Nora Charles, and Miss Marple all made cameos as reskins of important NPCs in the book *You know that nimblewright that throws fireballs at Trollskull Manor? Our fighter actually managed to defeat it, which we're apparently not supposed to do *We bought a nimblewright, which we also weren't supposed to do *Jarlaxle was our villain, and he had us framed for money laundering and insurance fraud *Then we went to court, which is where we fought the shoggoth in the stone I think we were the talk of the store, based on how our DM the next season said "Oh, you're from the casino table..."

If a crotchety high level boss shouted at me to get off his lawn, I’d listen.

I was expecting a new party member to just yeet the goldfish to death.

I have one of those early villain killed stories. I was running a 1st Edition game with a fairly large group. This meant I needed to increase encounter difficulties, as well as make sure my tailored adventure would engage each of the players. At one point in the story, they encounter the master evil wizard's Imp. In the story, he was supposed to call out the adventurers and hint as to where the bosses evil lair would be. On paper, this looked fine. Each player got a chance to shine. The Theif could run down contacts in the local guild to verify the Imps info. The Wizard could cast their new Clairvoyance scroll to good effect. The fighter could best one of the bosses warrior lieutenants in a dual in the middle of town. Finally, the ranger in the party could tract the evil wizard's horseshoe prints half way into a cursed woods. "Good stuff" I though. At this point, I should mention that I have been rolling ALL dice rolls openly for the players. Ya know, to be fair? So during the encounter with the imp, the entire party suddenly decides to kill the evil wizard's familiar. And they do. Killed him good. Half the tavern was on fire, but hell, the evl imp was dead, and they even paid for the damages and helped fix the tavern up good as new. That's when the questions started... "So, the evil Wizard has to roll a system shock, right?" "Hey, doesn't that mean we could have potentially killed the leader of the liches?" So. I rolled. Now my boss here, had a Constitution of 16. Not bad for a wizard. I rolled the percentage roll, lower the better. 100%. I rolled 100 percent. Not only did they kill the imp familiar, they killed the main boss of the entire storyline... Ugh... Eggs on my face, because a vulnerable point like a wizard's familiar should have be no where near the party, maybe only spying on them. So I pull the leader aside, who was a badass Assassin trying to form his own unique Guild in the region. He was a 30+ year veteran of AD&D (myself I've played AD&D for over 25+ years). "So, um... Jay, that was the boss." I was embarrassed to hell I let something like that happen after being a DM for over 2 decades. "It's okay, we can spin this however you want. So what if the remaining forces of Liches and Dragons fight each other, and we could show up to put out the fires and so forth." It wasn't the story I was going for, but oh well. The region succumbed to civil war between Liches, Dragons, and Death Knights. All in a bid to fill the power vacuum the evil Wizards death caused. It went okay. But I'll never use a familiar as a story hook ever again.

Swashbuckling Mindflayer sounds straight of a wonderfully insane spelljammer game.

I just wanted to thank you for the vids. The whole bit with the "You can take your block text and shove it!" scene had me laugh for about an hour now and frankly, I really, REALLY needed that. So thanks.

level 20 absurd shows up as a quest giver at some point too.

"You can take your block text and shove it" XD

A goldfish could live for decades, but average is like 2-6 years, but 20 years is common in ponds.

Fun fact: Goldfish live 5-to-10 years on average, with the record for goldfish lifespan being 48 years.

Fun fact. Goldfish can actually live for 25 years

Oh I’m sure this won’t go wrong in any way at all. Edit: WOW, this went wrong in every way imaginable. Who would’ve thought?

8:25 "I've got another riddle for you: *flip* How fingers of yours do you want to keep attached?"

Bad Cop: "I got a riddle, what has two arms, but-" Good Cop: "Ooh, Ooh, I'm good at riddles, let me, let me! Hmm, 'what has two arms', I don't get it." Bad Cop: "The question is for him." :point's-at-prisoner: Good Cop: "Oh, it's just a question, never mind, I like riddles, not just plain old questions... go on." Bad Cop: "Ugh. Ok, where was I. Oh yeah, right." :clears-throat: Bad Cop: "What has two arms-" Good Cop: "Oh, I get it, it's him, right? I know it's gonna be him. Am I right? Am I right?" Bad Cop: "You are ruining my moment. This, here, this isn't working. Go over there, eat a donut or something." Good Cop: :munching-on-a-donut: Bad Cop: "What has-" Good Cop: :cough-cough-wheeze-cough: Bad Cop: :looks-down: :shakes-head: Good Cop: "Sorry, I choked on the donut. Keep going." Bad Cop: :silence: Bad Cop: :looks-back-at-prisoner: Bad Cop: :talking-really-fast: "Whathastwoarmsbutonlyneedsone?" Prisoner: "What? That was too fast, I didn't catch all of that" Good Cop: "Me neither." Bad Cop: :scowls-at-good-cop: Good Cop: :eyes-get-big: :takes-a-step-back: Bad Cop: "What has two arms but only needs one?" :silence: Prisoner: "I don't know, a river or something, I don't really get the-" Bad Cop: "YOU! I mean you!" :mumbles: "idiot" Prisoner: "Oh. I thought it was a metaphor or something. I thought a riddle was usually non-literal. You know, like an analogy, or-" Bad Cop: "Gahh!! I'm leaving!" Good Cop: "Okay, now that he's gone, who wants a donut? Well maybe if I had some work to go do I wouldn't need these donuts and I could go do my job..." Prisoner: "Ok, fine, get a pad and pen... ... There, that's all." :good-cop-leaves: Bad Cop: "I can't believe you got all that for just a few donuts." Good Cop: "There weren't any donuts." Bad Cop: "Then how'd you choke!?" Good Cop: "I'm just a... :put's-on-sunglasses: really good cop..."

Aboleths, mind flayers, and circus clowns ... oh my!

Did you unlock the door? Doesn't matter! That door is staying closed!

Durnan (the yawning portal barkeep) is actually a high level adventurerer with TONS of magic stuff and he’s also immortal

The more of your videos I watch, the more grateful I become for my group that actually sticks together and doesn't try TOO hard to destroy my plans...

Gold fish can actaully live over a decade but people usually don't care for them properly

So the beholder’s layer is like Elmo’s world.

Great stuff as always! These always make my day.

I like the goldfish bit. I love when enemies and players have quirks. Like a secret Achilles heel, even better if it factors into their backstory. Kinda dark, but I thought about Ellen’s fear of the color yellow in “I have no mouth and I must scream”. Adds an extra element to the puzzles, and the reason she hates yellow is heartbreaking.

Something went wrong, so basically every d&d group ever? This is why DMs have screens to direct fate.

"You can take your block text and shove it!" The've seen your video's Ben.

I love your videos, they're the reason i'm so much more into D&D now ^^

Puffins videos are a curse and a blessing. Whenever a new video is out I’m excited, but also sad because now the wait beings again

My party stole sylgar and threw glass into Xanathars eye. Just another day of adventures

" I got a riddle for you: How many of your fingers you want to keep attached!?".. Instant like.

Love seeing how far your animation and art style has evolved over time

Ahaha! I just started DMing this module for my group and had watched this vid in the past... LOL it all makes sense now! Love your vids man! Keep it up!

Yay! So happy for a new DnD video! :D Your videos are my favorite!

Goddamn I love your abalyth voice acting. 11/10 would listen to a novel read that way!

Thanks for making this episode. The story of the swashbuckling mindflayer inspired an NPC in my ongoing game who turned out to be extremely popular with my players.

What if the mind flayer didn't want to melt their minds because it wanted to eat them later?

Players do what the DM wants? pfft who ever heard of that? My step-dad ran a game that he literally planned 1 month of adventure (real time) for each road out of town, he had 4 folders for 4 roads, we by some damn miracle decided to go chase the 5th road, a Death Knight, because apparently hero's rising from the grave and walking off was unheard of and we simply *HAD* to go investigate and make sure this well known hero rested in peace; he told us the rest of the session he had to wing it cause he had absolutely nothing planned, he even tried to suggest in game we not deviate from the 4 roads out of town... nope! off we go! 3 full sessions went by he had to keep winging it because we apparently were too dumb to take the main roads, so he had to build his game around our dumb luck and insistence on taking this really bad idea path.

I loved the crazy beholder. They actually had it in the old Dungeons and Dragons comic book.

It’s the return of Whimsy, everyone’s favorite Aboleth!

keep up the good work man! This episode was super fun!

8:09 Dora: Hello every one, should we trust the clown, *silence* Got it, dont trust the clown

One other GM being Chadwick Strongpants?!?! How legendary!

Hey man just want to say thanks for all these awsome animations. I have slight insomnia and watching your videos help me sleep rewatch almost every night. Been watching for a while now and love seeing the little details youve worked out with animating every video i see a nrw boundry being pushed more color more detail better backgrounds more shadeing more frames so mutch improvment. With how many views you get i wouldnt be suprised if kids get super exsited for your videos imagine its saturday for an 11 year old whos into dnd he notices you made a new animation and has a memorable moment with you videos like saturday cartoons from back then.

I legit started cackling like a super-pleased swamp hag when they immediately closed the door after half of the first sentence.

Durnan is awesome because he's: Spoilers ahead Leader of the Red Sashes Former Hidden Lord of Waterdeep Probably Immortal (Definitely) Keeper of Undermountain Seriously Badass Barkeeper Seriously hates *EVIL* And many more

So beholders are racist mofos and will enslave their own kind over tiny 'imperfections', but I think it's kind of cute one has a goldfish for a pet. My issue is, as observant as Beholders are, it must be really difficult to trick one into thinking he has only one goldfish by finding one that looks EXACTLY the same.

Lol a golden fish actually can live up to 30 years in a 10 gallon tank X3 but das is fine

I watched this on the 11th when it cam out and its taken a couple of days of processing to come up with the following; the campaigns you run are nothing less than the Monty Python of D&D. Fumbling forward with ever increasing insanity! This is nothing less than awesome and I hope you enjoy the aftermath as much I i enjoy hearing about it.