It has been pointed out to me, that maybe Dagoth wouldn't look up to the Daedra as gods, and I agree, so now here is the alternate version with Lorkhan as replacement.
The Dagoth Ur Dunmer version of the popular Founding Fathers Copypasta created with the use of beta.elevenlab...
full text:
I own a dwarven crossbow for home defense, since that's what Lorkhan intended. Four outlanders break into my house. "What the Mehrunes Dagon?" As I grab my powdered mask and dwarven crossbow. Blow a Kwama egg-sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my Ebony Throwing Star on the second man, miss him entirely because it's a fucking throwing weapon and it nails the neighbors nix-hound. I have to resort to the Dwemer construct mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with Daedric Darts, "Tally ho, n'wahs!" the Daedric Darts shred two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel cause a panic in the Silt Striders outside. Fix Keening and charge the last terrified fetcher. He bleeds out waiting on the Ordinators to arrive, since triangular Keening wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Lorkhan intended.
7 окт 2024
