Wow! He made laugh, tear up and everything in between. He's talking about something so serious and touching and tinges it with humor in such a way that it adds rather than takes away. I'm a big fan of Dan's and this made me love him even more.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks. Thank you for sharing this story, Dan. It sounds like your mother was extremely proud of you & the man you have become..
Seeing this in 2020 and it's still a powerful speech. So raw and open. I respect Dan so much for sharing this, and showing his pain and emotion. I'm watching this half an hour before taking my mother to hospital. It's a routine appointment but with the threat of Coronavirus this really hits home. God (or any other supreme power) bless you Dan! xXx
WOW.....THAT struck a nerve! I am also a "lapsed" Catholic, and I lost my Mother a year ago. When you got to 11:05, I almost thought you were going to lose it.....I almost did. My Mother was at my sister's place, in South Carolina, when she passed away. So, my brothers and sisters had no chance to see her, last January (2018). I was glad that most of us were able to see her at Christmas. But there are times, when I wish I could call her, or see her. What I have are words of gratitude, because she avoided the Alzheimer's my Father got, and lived to be 98 years old. But a part of me still regrets...if I could just have a bit more time with her.
It's 11 years since this speech, and it still makes me want to give him the tightest hug. I know that pain, that sense of loss, that aching void of their absence. I first heard this speech 4 years after losing my Gram, 13 years after losing my Grampa. They raised me, taught me how to love and trust again after a childhood of abuse, they meant the world to me and facing that world without them seemed impossible. Now, in my 60th year, I know for a fact that Gram is still with me. It is never more evident than those moments when I hear her coming out of my mouth.
I just lost my grandmother, and it's amazing how much I identify with all of this. I hope I can be strong like Dan and continue to resist being pulled back to the church.
I love Dan - he's one of the good ones. I can totally relate - I had to tell my own mother on her deathbed that we all loved her and it was time to go...it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Hearing this from Dan makes me believe there's still good in the world.
Wow. I can relate to this SO deeply. I cannot fake it either. Still, I lit a candle in a cathedral in Italy and so wanted my late "good Catholic", mother to see it.
I came out to my mother, who was raised a born again Christian. I did not ever hear a word about hell, or sin, or wrath, or shame come out of her lips. She gave me a hug. I know how much it had to worry and bother her, I saw the sadness in her eyes , the AIDS pamphlet in her purse. Not a word of judgement. She left us all twenty years ago. One of the last sentences before she died was to call me 'blessed'. She did the best she possibly could to surround me with love, when the world attacked me. .
Oh, Dan. I'm listening to the podcast from the very beginning, and went on a search tonight for the story of what happened to your amazing mother after your break from the podcast after her loss. I am so very sorry. I love the way you share though. I just want to go back and hug you.
It's been almost a year since my mother died of pulmonary fibrosis, a terrible way to go. She was an outspoken and unapologetic atheist, and yet I still miss her and remember her. I also like to think that she is out there somewhere, watching me, even though she would completely scoff at that notion. I hope someone hugged you after your talk. Thank you for your bravery.
Ariel Ocker: I know a family that has had to deal with the deaths of three of their own from pulmonary fibrosis - all within one year. You are correct. It is a terrible way to go.
Beautiful work. I heard this today on NPR and it touched me. I laughed and cried. Hits really close to home. I also lost my mom way too early 23 months ago (also to a lung disease - PH). :( So sorry for your loss.
I keep coming back to this video. Having recently lost my mum, I am not sure if it's torture, or for validation that someone else went through the same things I am. All I can say though is thank you Dan Savage!
omg, your Mother rocks , Dan ..I see where you got your humor from. I am not gay but was raised in a Catholic school/Church and I so understand. My Mother too, was a perfect Catholic with a Irish sense of humor. R.I.P. to both our Moms. Keep being you.
I am so very very sorry about your mother. my mom still alive is on the same road though, suffering from emphysema each day we can tell its getting worse. it's hard to take and see but we must.
Oh Dan, I can feel your pain... I'm so sorry for your loss! However, I'm glad that you didn't lapse back into catholicism with all its evil preachings. And thank you for mentioning Christopher Hitchens, makes me love you even more. Keep up all the good work you do, and may peace be in your heart.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 I watched my Mom almost die 3 times over 7 years that she wasted away from Parkinsons in a nursing home because I wasn't rich and couldn't keep her at my home with round the clock care. A BIG hunk of your heart & soul die when your Mother does if you loved her and she was a good Mother. Saying goodbye to her is HELL ON EARTH.
OMG ... i put this in my watch later list for a while just liking dan savage and storytelling. But the church he is referring to is ACROSS the street from a house I grew up in for years! Crazy
I found Dan Savage's piece particularly moving. It also made me wonder if Dan Savage had ever considered Unitarian Universalism. I'm sure I'm not the first to suggest it. But hey, Dan - if you ever find yourself in DC, come check out All Souls Church. You won't be sorry.
made me laugh, made me cry. it's better than....well, almost everything who needs therapy with genius' like Dan to put 'shit' into perspective. thanks for posting this.
Unlike his usual confrontational gay bravado (which I also like), this level of honesty is why I love Dan Savage. The biceps and cute mug don't hurt either (sorry Terry, I'm happily married too). Wish I'd had those final moments with my mom, and wish she'd jumped on the PFLAG bandwagon when I came out, but it didn't go that way. In fact, thanks to a barrage of conservative propaganda against my ilk, she passed from this life more confused and frightened by my existence than when I came out 24 years ago. Those talking points created a veritable border wall between us (the gays paid, if you're wondering) that became too high for either of us to scale. Maybe Ma Savage can explain things to her now that they're sharing space in the afterlife? Oh, I forgot. There is no afterlife. Shit.
Fuck's sake, people. Did you just watch a video about a man dealing with his faith, his love for his family, and his mother's death? I did. How about we all stop getting into little shitty snits about who's more right than everyone else?
@jasonsaroyan Yeah, his grade school is St. Ignatius in Chicago, but the "modernist Catholic chapel" in Seattle he referred to I think may be the Chapel of St. Ignatius at Seattle University. I thought it was funny because Seattle U is really proud of the chapel's architecture, and I agree with his assessment of it, that it looks like the Brady house with a crucifix in it. Though aspects of it are beautiful.
The scene of the crime was at the supreme court and the supreme court committed the crime. It made a political decision, not a constitutional decision as required by the constitution. This has happed before.
I was raised an Anglican (Catholic Lite) but when I evolved into an atheist I had no issue reconciling the deaths of my parents and some friends with the idea of no death after life. So I guess I dodged a bullet by not being born a catholic.
Absolutely. But call that person out for their bigotry. Don't shit on them for being religious, because you are then shitting on all the religious people who agree with you (i.e. Dan Savage's mom). Look at the arguments happening on this page -- it's all "religious people are stupid!" and "non-religious people are stupid!" How about we stop calling each other stupid? The fact it's not so cut and dry is what I got from Dan's video, am I alone here?
omg woah. his story about how he went from catholic to atheist is so like mine, only without the sql for future priests and change being gay for just knowing gay people, and voilla. *sigh* his mother tho :((
Science is based on the search for truth. For me, it means constantly questioning, reproducing, critiquing and attacking my own conclusions. It means the willingness to acccept conclusions that are unwelcome to me, and accepting the possibility that I'm wrong about literally everything. And on the rare occasion that I say something even a tenth as stupid as what you just said, I get embarrassed and delete it. I'd only ever be that idiotic in anger, and if someone did see it, I apologize.
You clearly can't understand what he's saying. This is touching story about Dan's long relationship with the catholic church. And I was there at that convention. Only about a dozen people walked out, and no one cried. The hundreds of the students who were there, most of them Christians, applauded. He was talking about how Christians can believe in gay rights.
