Mormon girls in our neighborhood would always be curious about the beach and taking a road-trip and had questions. But when I would invite they would say no it’s against their religion and would respectfully decline.
I grew up in Florida and converted to the LDS church. Plenty of my fellow Mormons went to the beach in bathing suits. I think your neighbors were just weird.
It is a common theme. I remember when I was in a YSA ward at the university where I studied. This was in 2004, and I realize I am giving you the male perspective. The bishop of our YSA ward thought it would be cute to have a date-picnic in the building's gym on a Saturday night. This was important to show the YSA that there is no "hanging out". If you signed up, four men and women were assigned to each other to have this "picnic". I went not giving the whole thing a second thought. I have never had great looks and was put in a group with three other guys who weren't gonna be on the cover of GQ ever. They assigned four women to us who were clearly unhappy. They were very attractive and probably expected to be on dates with guys who already had attractive looks and were returned missionaries. There we were sitting on a picnic blanket on the gym floor together. I just tired to make small talk about class, bad professors, the weather etc., during the "meal". The woman I was sitting next to on our picnic blanket was obviously not to excited and was bad at small talk. The whole thing was supposed to go on for two hours, but after 45 minutes, and what felt like pulling teeth, the girls all said they had to go. One of the other guys in my group actually complained to the organizers. I was happy it was over. In retrospect, I learned that forcing people together is a very idea. It also became clear that expecting people to fulfill artificial or imaginary roles can be damaging to self esteem and the psyche. Unfortunately, I was a part of it. It is painfully clear that the women in the LDS Church probably feel very hurt or uncomfortable about having to follow such arcane rules and fit into some imaginary mold. They probably felt like they could not say no.
Terrible advice. Not the worst I've heard coming from a mormon, but still terrible. Little known fact: Ted Bundy attended college at University of Utah. My ex-wife's aunt had a class with him, thought he was creepy. Imagine if she'd heard this advice and Ted asked her out. No bueno.
It's so clear that the bishop is manipulating impressionable young women solely because he struggled to date as a man... that is disgusting. Like... sorry women didn't like you... probably because you are manipulative and twist your religion to get what you want. I feel bad for every young women he has "given advice to," and this is honestly the reason why so many people turn away from any form of religion.
going on dates should never be dangourouse. if you on a date and the ladie dont want to kiss or more then every man has to respect her boundariers, and find someone who wants him as much as he wants her
Back when I was super religious (I'm still very spiritual - but kinda burnt out on religion), I began to think like that. What if I missed God's will because my distaste for that person was superficial?! 😶🤔 So I went on a few dates with a guy who disgusted me. My intuition had been right, of course, why I didn't like him had little to do with his appearance anyway. He threw actual fits, was mean to waiters and tried to forceably buy my meal on one date, then bought an entire second meal which I had not ordered, and told me he had done it because I wouldn't let him pay... and "was I going to let perfectly good food go to waste?" The answer is yes, I'm so sorry to all the hungry people out there, I watched them throw an entire plate of food into the trash. He knew I would have problems with that concept, the manipulator. I felt bad, but not as bad as I would've felt if I had let him win. I only went on three dates with him, but our intuition is there for a good reason. If your brain says no, or your heart says no, listen.
Wow! I have so many creepy stories from my catholic school days too! That is why Quebec is no longer catholic and does not want religion in the public realm. Women had to endure such creepiness because of the Catholic religion from 1620 s until 1990s. There was a formal separation between church and state in 1963 but teachers were still allowed to take the virginity of 13-year-old girls at Catholic schools until the 1990s. And so many more creepy situations happened because of male priests. The stories I could tell. New Religious Immigrants think Quebec people are racists for not letting them bring their religion to the public realm. That is not so. Quebec has been Quebec for 500 years and it has figured out that religion and governance do not mix if you want an evolved country.
I have never heard anybody ever say this? It’s not wrong to consider physical attraction when it comes to marriage, but of course more than this can be considered. If some Mormon men are disgusting, I am sorry, but is this really what the church preaches?
That bishop is wrong wrong wrong. What a guilt trip to put on a young women. I would have asked him to sight three apostles talks that fully support what he is saying first
I made this video on TikTok. It went viral, and I got thousands of comments from other women confirming that in their wards, all around the country, they were told the same things around that time period.
Yeah, don't be getting all picky and looking for a "soul mate" or something. After all, it's only supposed to be an ETERNAL relationship, right? So if they've got a pulse and a recommend, then you're good to go. If they biologically have the capacity to produce a gillion kids 9 months and 15 minutes apart, then you've REALLY hit the jackpot. Just grab and go . . . like buying a candy bar.
Okay, I'm sure she's taking what she heard. Not what he said in Jest, But some version of this is true. People wait to get married, and never do. I've seen that. The older you get the more your attractiveness declines. And I'm not talking physically. If you think Marriage is something you want, you should think about your value as a man or woman to the other person, and your ability to grow together. Now that she's 32 and single, does she wish she would have settled down early, if not, cool. But some do, and early 20's is more likely then early 30s
@@tjbrat44 My experience is the older people get the less they have ability to mesh with anybody let alone someone compatible. Life is not a fairy tale there is not ONE true love out there. Think about it, either world you you subscribe to.... If there is a God he put us here to learn and grow, And to love all his children. If there is no God, We're just chemical reactions that are looking for more chemical reactions and it doesn't matter who you mate with. Because this is the most random coincidence in the universe and Probably should keep it going.
Im 32 and have been married for ten years to an incredibly good looking man that is significantly hotter and more emotionally intelligent than anyone I met in Utah. This is horrible advice. You should never « settle » in a marriage, especially as a woman. It’s better to be single than to be with a person that isn’t worth the effort. Statistically single women are much happier and healthier than married women and should feel no pressure to marry or date anyone they don’t want to. Marriage is the most significant legally binding contract most people can enter into and they shouldn’t do it because of fomo.
@@clearstonewindows yep 👍 and most of my friends who got married at the same age are divorced now. One is on her third marriage. Turning down people that I didn’t feel super excited to go on a date with was the smartest decision I ever made. My friends who settled because they’d been told the lie that their value would decrease, so they’d better « hurry up » all ended up in toxic, or in one case abusive, marriages. Im in my thirties and men still hit on me regularly. It’s obnoxious, and I can confidently confirm that my value as a partner has gone up significantly with age (expect in the case of men who are looking to groom their young wives). I also have friends in their thirties who are just now starting to get engaged and settle down.
I think this is actually very smart; and I think the video is totally missing the point... This system is wasting young women time, yes and exposing then to some danger, yes (although guys from the church on a simple date... Tinder can do you way worse) but the entire point is to both train young men to be open and to communicate (as it remove the fear of rejection) and it help young woman to go over the physical... Also, I am sure a woman can certainly make herself picked by the one she wants... If a woman can always dismiss the man after the date, so it is very smart... This is literally the exact opposite of tinder (which makes very few men to have all the woman and all the others to be left dangerously frustrated which is disastrous for the society). Of course from an egoistic and egocentric point of view, it forces young girl to "waste their time" with "loosers" for the greater wellbeing of the society; what a terrible thing, right! Giving your time to others, what a crime... Of course they should not threaten women that they will be left alone if they say no though it is akin to exaggerate dangers to children... Because it is true that when a woman hit 30 and is still single, it is getting way way harder... I think, and I am sorry to say, that the thinking on the video is the result of a simple lack of wisdom and intelligence... I think the problem is that this church failed to share its wisdom and the logic behind its legends/exaggerations/lies and it relies too much on people being fearful and blind. Being constantly afraid is not the way to do things and I can totally imagine being released from it by leaving the church...
So why only women should be forced to accept dating? Also maybe not all women find happiness through relationships only or are even attracted to... Men... Some are actually lesbian you know that? I think you are very narrow minded, and women should be able to do what they want and how they want, not being forced by others.
This might be the dumbest, short-sighted comment I have ever seen on a religious post. This screams, "I really struggled/struggle to find woman that will go on dates with me... and women should change to make men like me happier." You are correct, giving your time to others is a great thing to do, but you are twisting that great thing by manipulating it towards pleasing men... you literally admit at the beginning of your argument that it is "exposing to some danger" and "wasting young women time." She is not saying this is bad because she fears men, she is saying it is bad because it is not Biblically based at all, and is manipulative. The fact that you still continue to think you have a respectable argument after you pointed out the danger and waste of time shows how much of a twisted misogynist you have become. And that's coming from a happy man dating a wonderful woman...
Start dating women who you find physically repulsive that make you fear for your safety if you find this video problematic. 🙃 But good lord, you are not in a position to be criticizing anyone on their intelligence. Statistically, single women are happier, live longer, and are healthier than their married counterparts. Turning down men I wasn’t interested in kept me safe and I ended up marrying a super hot 6’2 guy that’s emotionally intelligent and who helps do the housework. Expecting women to date men they aren’t attracted to is extremely egotistical and egocentric of you. Go date women you find physically repulsive if you think it will bring happiness.
