For every smile you make, or rationalization about how exciting things are, there are 5x as many headaches and problems you're going to encounter. It won't even take a month or two before you realize just how fortunate it is to live in a home, or any kind. It's not about making money. The lesson you should be learning is about accepting the rules and dictates of others with whom you're living, especially if you're living in their home. Having been in your situation myself, I can understand the innate drives making you want to chart your own course. It's deeply biological at your age, to not want to listen to those older than you, since you're a man now. Centuries ago, someone your age would be not just in battle, but a battle commander. The point is that we're been designed to fight and chart out on our own. The problem is that the modern world is a lot more challenging, costly, and requiring a lot more from us than it did just a couple of generations ago. In other words, your grandad could go get a basic job and in a few years time, that job could afford him a decent life. Now, things are different and the bar has been raised. You, at your young age, know more technical skills than your grandfather ever did in his whole life. I'm trying to get you to see that you're young and that means you have a drive to be on your own, but at the same time, you are not at all ready for the rigors of being on your own, in a car. It seems romantic now, but in short order, you'll find it insanely inconvenient. If you're a religious man, then ask God what changes he can make in you, so that you could be able to thrive in a place where your parents love you, but show you that love in ways you just don't want to accept. Ask God for patience and understanding, especially at the time when it's the most hard for you. Your age, energy, and willingness to sacrifice make you perfectly normal. But think about how not normal success is. Think about getting ahead in life, and also having good relationships with others. Andre, you have work to do, the most difficult kind- and that's in your temper and mood. I'm no Taylor Swift fan, but the lyric goes something like, "I can stare at the sun, but not look in the mirror"...this is an age old problem, and literature of the ages have been devoted to "knowing thyself"...because it's so damned hard. In the moment, you want to run and make it on your own. Then, you find hardship and proclaim..."I've got this!"....all the while, you're spinning and spinning. This, my man, is what I know well. The endless justifications you're making online here, spell it all out. You're a good young man. But you rage and to that, you need to work on. You need to have success on your mind, and that, is a marathon and not a sprint. You're sprinting here, racing to your end- not realizing how much you're burning to get nowhere, as you drive to the next place to shower and/or go to the bathroom. It's actually not free....there's no freedom in being homeless like you are. It's all struggling to live. Son, go embrace success, but that means facing your anger and desires and seeing yourself as in a temporary place. Go join the Navy. Go work some job. But go back home, and do the humbling thing of living under someone else's rules. It's a massive privilege to have the advantage of a home, especially at an age where you need to invest in yourself. At a time when young people you're competing with are actively pursuing their futures, you're there, finding a place to park. If you don't like your parent's then accept their rules until you're in a position to actually move out. Accept their crap, stick with God, and run the freaking marathon. Keep your head down, and improve yourself. It will take a few years, Andre, count on that. The battle isn't depression, it's thinking about it all and ruminating about it. Get busy, get engaged to things. This is why the Navy or Army would be great for you. You seem a perfect fit for it. Godspeed and I wish you well. -From someone who's walked in your shoes
I appreciate these words of wisdom from you I really do. But I am not mad or filled with rage, I just chose to be peaceful when I got kicked out. Your right it is a privilege to have somewhere to go. But personally from when I look at my chessboard I see the best move to do what I am doing rn. I appreciate you brother
