I'm 51 and raised 3 children. I never ever let them "cry it out". I never wanted my babies to feel like I wouldn't come when they needed me. If they were just "whining" or wimpering, I would let them try and self-soothe, but if they were screaming, never ever did I not come. As you said, to each their own, but do NOT feel bad if you don't feel right about the sleep training/cry-it-out method. It's not for everyone. :)
You are right and its been proven to cause the babies anxiety even after they stop crying, so there is definitely a gray line with the self soothing when that is.
Same here! Only one child and pregnant with one but that never sat right with me! I want my babies to know I'm here for them when they cry no matter how hard it makes my life! 😅
My son is 6 months and I just let him whimper but if the full on cry comes I help him to sleep by rocking him a little and placing him down when he's not completely asleep but drowsy.
Thanks for being honest about your mom struggles. I feel so much shame around my hard moments where I’m screaming and crying and losing my mind. I’m glad I’m not alone- you made me tear up. ❤
Sourdough tip- Let your sourdough breathe! Don’t latch the jar, just use the towel. Only seal the jar when it’s developed and you keep it in the fridge. Always just use a towel if it’s out at room temp. But I love this video, as always. It’s so amazing that you share your life. You’re inspiring. ❤
Just listened to a podcast that just talked about self soothing is not a thing.. they need us.. think of yourself as an adult and how we still need that connection from your parent, friend, or spouse! Also I have a 3 year old who is now in a phase where he needs me to fall asleep again and touches my face.. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and beyond stressed what night time routine will look like with two kiddos who just want /need their momma… I also cherish as I know this doesn’t last forever and will miss how much they need us. ♥️
People do not talk honestly about how hard it is to be a parent. Also verrrrrry here for the bread content! I have wanted to try doing it myself for forever but get so caught up in the attempting something new that I just don't do it.
I truly appreciate your vulnerability, it is so strong and kind of you to open up with us so candidly. Thank You. I am not even a parent yet, however, I still teared up, also because i feel for you. Live is just so amazingly bittersweet. Sending you lots of love
"Every day is a new adventure", that's my new motto. One day you're full of energy and the baby is happy all the day and the next one the only thing the baby does is crying. The tricks you use one day doesn't work the next one... About the sleep training... In my case, my little girl still co-sleeps with us (8 months now) since the first night she spent at home. We even bought a bigger bed. As my husband said: "when she has 12, she doesn't sleep with us anymore".
Good morning & Kudos to you Renee❣️ Please stop being so hard on yourself. Bryson won't remember this. Have you tried playing classical or calm music in his room when he's in his bed? Also, try moving a chair in front of his crib that you can sit in, then put a favorite stuffed animal that he can see in the chair. Keep music on a timer & get back in your bed🥰.
You’re the best mama. Having a Velcro baby is honestly such a special thing, but also extremely overstimulating. Finding those little “sweet nothings” in between is going to ground you. Only you know what works best for your family! Love that you’re working with it and not against it. For me, we def brought the crib into our room. It’s a season, but I just empathized and was like how could I force him to sleep on his own when I don’t even like to.. eventually he’ll be more independent so just stay true to your guys’ path! ❤
I’m 31 with a 2 year old and I work part time from home. I tried to sleep train my son when he was around 1 and I also couldn’t do it. It was heartbreaking for me. So we didn’t do it. He also sleeps with us. I don’t regret it one bit, because he has his whole older kid to adult life to sleep by himself. I will only have until he’s about four or when he gets nightmares of older than four. Cuddle with him! There’s no such thing as loving him too much. You’re his momma and all he knows is you! If I had a 9-5 job out of the house or if I had twins, then yes I would’ve considered sleep training l. It totally depends on your lifestyle! Being a mom is so hard. I honestly have told myself that I hated being a mom because we deal with the tantrums and fussiness. It’s so hard to hear and keep a calm mind about it. Just remember, your child is just growing and hurting. That’s the only way they know how to express themselves. Lord knows I’m still working on my patience and calmness. Enjoy every little bit! If I lived near you, I would’ve befriended you and told you all the realities and struggles of being a new mom.
My friend has a 1-year-old and she has been struggling a lot with motherhood. She has a full-time job on site. I think what you're feeling is very common. Hang in there. If sourdough bread proves to be too difficult just making regular bread is super easy and you can do it in a day. Then you can add things like rosemary or garlic to it as well.
Hi renee, I admire you for talking about baby stuff openly. I think I wouldnt be able to ignore any comments regarding my baby or me how I handle it. Negative comments would make me very insecure. My midwife told me: In the first year you can not spoil your child. This helped me a lot. Whenever he wants closeness or attention he gets it.
Sleep training came to my child naturally. I never tried to sleep train. I always rocked her to sleep then put her in her crib. I never left her alone if she is screaming. One day when she was a year I put her in her crib with a bottle and she just fell asleep and it's been that way ever since. I don't think these things are meant to be forced at that age. When they get older and understand then yes we have to force our kids to do things because we are the parents and know best but at this age you have to wait till it comes naturally. Being a parent is so hard but it felt easier when I stopped obsessing over what I should be doing or where she should be at and just know it will happen
I'm by no means trying to undermine/belittle your experiences and thoughts and i agree its important to share them and not have toxic positivity...BUT the best way in my experience to handle overwhelm, negative thoughts etc is to reframe the language you are using to yourself and others...bring in gratitude to everything...examples could be: 'I'm struggling to work and take care of my baby' = 'I'm so grateful i am able to work from home and spend time with my baby when he needs me' 'I hate that i need to ask for help' = 'I'm so fortunate that i have family who support me when i need it' 'My life will never be the same again' = 'My life has a new and rewarding purpose' It can help so so much ❤
I went with the attachment parenting methods vs. sleep training and I truly believe that is one of the biggest reasons why I’m so close with my sons who are now teenagers. I never did the cry it out method with either of them because it just didn’t feel right at the gut instinct level. Most mammals stay with their babies and what humans do with isolating their babies in their cribs is a more western concept that’s centered around convenience for the parents vs. emotional health of the child.
From an experienced attachment parenting mama - First, find yourself a tribe of other moms and babies. Kindermusik is a great option. It's where I met my mama tribe! It is too hard to be a mama in a bubble and without support of other mamas. Also, family bed IS a safe option! There are cribs whose sides lower and meet the edge of your mattress, so you can reach for him without fully getting up to retrieve him when he needs you. When my baby became a toddler, we put our mattress on the floor, then put our baby's toddler mattress next to ours. He was sleeping separately, but again, could have access to us as he needed. There is a biological reason that mamas are hard wired to respond to babies cries. Listen to your intuition, don't let him cry it out if that is not right for you. Trust me, he will not be crying for you and wanting to sleep in your bed forever. We bought our children "big kid beds" when they were around 4 years of age and they went into them in their own rooms and never looked back. We avoided the struggle that other parents we knew had of their kids coming into their beds at much older ages. Just my two cents today! Take what resonates with you, leave the rest. :) Love your channel.
I was in the hospital from newborn - 3 months and i remember nothing, i just want to give you that peace of mind. As a mom, sleep training also broke my heart. I let my husband do it and i would go out until he called me when our baby was sleeping. Took about a week and the rest was easy. Good luck ❤
Me and my husband both work full time too, with me working from home and him hybrid. Yes, it's hard! Especially in the newborn phase and first 2 years! If I could have afforded it, I would have hired a nanny to be there at home with me for my child while I work that way I could be involved and not miss things but still have sanity. A lot falls on the woman no matter the work balance and no matter how helpful the husbands are nowadays. I totally get your frustration! I'm pregnant now with another one on the way now that I have my first in half day preschool, and things have somewhat mellowed out. I told my husband we HAVE to have a nanny while I work this time. PERIOD. That was an insane ride, and I don't even know how I made it! Stay strong 💪
I went through the same thing with my son around that time! Just know every phase doesn't last- it's just a phase. Do whatever you need for your family. Motherhood is ridiculously tough sometimes. You're doing a great job! ❤
Hi Renee, I feel you are acting like me whole my life ! Couple month in year I was super productive, I was doing a lot of thing and I felt happy and then I had a moments of week/s when I could not wake up from bed, felt depressed etc. I have 3 month old right now and I am bipolar diagnosed. Did you think about seeking a specialist's opinion?
You do not have to sleep train! My daughter was in the nicu and she still sleeps with me 1.5 years old! And she goes in her crib at night while I'm bathing doing what I need to do then she ends up waking up and getting in bed with me after a few hours. Follow your instinct, you know what's right for him! Your feelings are valid! You got this momma
I slept with my little one till he was 2.5 years old and then one day just started waking up less and needing me less. He woke every hour for 19 months but I KNEW I never never wanted to leave him alone to cry. He’s now 3 and sleeps in his own bed in his own room through the night. You don’t have to sleep train. Sleeping is not something that is taught. It is biological. Follow your heart Mama 🧡
I really enjoyed your journaling on last video and hope you do an entire video on it giving any insight techniques. Always interesting many different ways as well on where do you purchase them....?
Renee I for one know parenting is hard but don’t let that meddles your relationship with Z, you are a wonderful mom, Z is a lucky guy…..so dire your small little family.take care of each other.
Don't feel bad about your hair you're not alone! I have a similar problem and I don't even know what it's from, not sure if it's a hairstyle, hair growth, or the layers I didn't actually want but I have breakage like that too :/
Mine’s 4 months and Renee it’s the same for me - pure joy one minute and absolutely crashing and burning breakdown the next. I see you and hold space for the struggle ❤️
I’m not a mom but the fact that Bryson is growing, meeting milestones, smiling, eating new foods, taking aesthetic baths, and sitting there clean, fed, in a cozy apartment with two parents that love him while his mom worries “ if she’s a good mom…” I think he’s gonna be just fine.
Super mom's don't exist. Life is messy, so is raising kids. We've all been there and continue to be there. Don't beat yourself or your content up. We're here for it, regardless of how aesthetically pleasing it is.
My personality is similar to yours where I like structure, I need things to be clean and organized at all times, and I need to feel like everything is balanced… which makes me freak out a lot about being a mom in about 6 months haha. I know for a fact it’s going to be a huge learning curve for me, specially with the patience part. That being said though, I think you’re doing incredibly well! Take it one day at a time and just breathe through it.
I used the sample schedules on huckleberry care for my babies nap schedules. That helped me tremendously. You can look up sample nap schedules according to age. It was hard for me to finally make the big move to have my son sleep in his own crib and room, but once I finally did it gave me and my husband a lot more freedom. I feel your struggle Renee! Take things one day at a time.
My first kid didn't sleep for 9 months so by her 11 months we had tried everything. I also tried the crying method and said it was not for us from the first time: we left her crying for 2 minutes and she choked (just because she was crying a lot) we had to turn her on her side and everything. We did the crib transition and it worked for less than a month she had a regression and we had to get her into our bedroom again and it was so much worse. This time around we are doing the co-sleeping and she is a bigger baby so she kicks me and pats my husband and vice versa through the night... It's hard but it will pass. Our first it passed when she did not want any more breast milk. My second I think is a bit more attached but we are going to use the vacations to put her bassenet because we tried it two times and it's just hard bu maybe a third is a charm. I always say insist on what you think is best for your baby and you, the rest go with the flow
It takes a lot of courage to be honest and open about everything you said Renee. You're doing an amazing job and raising a kid is definitely one of the hardest things someone can do even though I'm sure it's one of the best things too ❤
lol - you learn the hard way who's there for you during challenging times and God chose to bring people into my life and he paved a way to see people out, and that OK. Seasons baby.
Be careful sealing your starter jar, because the starter produces gas, if it has no way to release it, it could crack or “explode” the jar! When it’s in the fridge after it’s fully developed, it can be sealed :) good luck, and enjoy the process! ❤
I just wanted to say that you`re doing great as a mum. I`m a speech therapist and I see how you try to feed Bryson different textures and flavors and it really matter a lot because babies that have been in the nicu tend to have problems with food(it`s an experience-based things) but Bryson clearly is doing great and it`s all because he has such great mum.
seeing your videos pop up on Sunday and Wednesday immediately make my day!! You are one of the only youtubers I enjoy watching consistently so thank you
Parenting is hard. I'm thankful there was no social media when my son was born, I had a hard enough time comparing my struggles with friends and family and feeling not good enough. You are doing a wonderful job!
Girl we are the same haha. I’ve always been the go go go person. To do lists, routines, staying on top of everything. Always one step ahead. I have two kids and they definitely slow you down. What works for me is simply living life one day at a time. I make my little to do list in the morning and then do what I can from it throughout the day. At the end of the day, I focus on what I accomplished instead of stressing over what I didn’t. It truly is a breath of fresh air not trying to control everything at all times! Also, the random new hobbies lmaoo I feel you. I picked up reading again, journaling more frequently, embroidery, soap making🙃😂 We’re just trying to stay sane out here!!
I am on a similar journey and love watching your content ♥️ I want to try making my own bread but I’m very intimidated by it. Please share if you find a good recipe!
Heyy Renne 😇ur a Sweet💖& I'm 4Eva a fangal! Cool... Making ur own sourdough🍞 bread. Sounds great, happy to see this process perhaps late October....I'll try it myself. Thxs for the inspiration LUV, Dani from Boston.
It's both good and hard and that's ok! I've learned that "wisdom is the ability to hold paradox" and not collapse into one polarity. Life is filled with all of it- ride the wave! xoxo
Thank you for sharing with us your honest feelings Ney. Since the first time I saw your videos in 2018, you became instantly my favourite youtuber ever. You are so kind and true and in this world it is so beautiful to have a soul like you who give me hope despite everything we go trough during our lives. Love you for the bottom of my heart. Your virtual friend, Louisa ❤❤🩹
All the extraneous crap we'll be there tomorrow. You have all you need today close to you all day he is such an adorable little guy I just love looking at his beautiful little face his face looks like Mama's face😅
i feel like we’re soul twins. i struggle with the same feelings of go go go and i always end up causing way too much stress on myself and people around me. it’s so hard to let go of that control and structure. you’re doing amazing by recognizing it and you’ve really made me feel less crazy hearing you experience the same issues. we can do this 🩵🥰
Ah girl, I’m a new mom as well. There are some days where I want to drive far away and be 20 years old, and kid-less again. Everything you are feeling is completely normal. But I promise you it gets easier!!! Being a mom is THE hardest job in the entire world.
Being self-employed is a huge responsibility. It's a constant 24-7 mindset of thinking/worrying about every single facet of your business. In reality it's being in uber marketing whether that's what the original intention was and I don't think it ever gets to be fun. Indulgence can also become almost like a huge cult responsibility also. I dare say like an addiction. It's almost a justification/crutch for working so hard. And then obviously raising a child too. To be honest I couldn't do all that AND live in an apartment. I would much rather buy a house and then maybe buy a condo to rent out as an investment. This way you're starting to gain leverage in life and can begin to shift subjective responsibilities over to things that make sense to your brain objectively. Just a thought. In my opinion all three things I originally mentioned mean you're living 'at threshold.' Possibly not sustainable.
I have a 4 month old and work from home with her. I feel you!!! I have a breakdown at-least once a week. Were doing a great job and don’t forget God picked us to be their mommy ❤️
I just started sourdough for the same reason!! I’m a mom of 3 and I’m always so overstimulated. And I want to just slow down and really focus on instilling a feeling in our home in this season lmao and it’s so funny watching you through your moods bc I am literally doing the same. My youngest is 6 months and dealing with all the same things. I’m on day 4 of my starter and I love watching it everyday. It stinks right now but it’s been fun so far !!! Just goes to show if you see something in social media Long enough you’re like ok let’s try this LOL
You are doin so great with the consistent vlogs and transparency. I forgot to comment on your Sunday vlog, but I love the Sunday vlogs! They come right before I head off to church with my boyfriend:) and it's just a pleasant way to start my day off. Your vlogs really are lil pockets of joy😊
Hey Renee, not trying to freak you out, but have you looked into the flesh eating bacteria? That’s in Tampa Bay oceans right now? Any thoughts on it? 🙏🏼 stay safe.❤
PLEASE research the cry-it-out method, it's so so so damaging and traumatic. Very outdated idea! Trust your instinct mama, don't leave him to cry in an effort to 'sleep train' 💔
Self soothing truly isn't possible for a baby, they just eventually learn that you/no one is coming to comfort them and it has long term effects. Just please educate yourself and then go from there. 💔💔💔
You are learning so much about yourself, traits that some of us are likely unaware of in ourselves & you taught me so much in this vlog alone. My sister has two kids and some of the things you touched on are so helpful for me to understand her better because I do not have kids. Honestly, you’re such an amazing Mom ❤
Sourdough tips - get some of the starter from your friend and start feeding that, it will be a lot faster and its a nice to keep it going like that. Definitely don't seal Willow closed, she needs to breath. Use a kitchen scale to measure equal parts (grams) water and flour for each feeding. Keep a discard jar in the fridge and each day when you take some out put it in the discard and use it for pancakes and all sorts of other goodies instead of throwing it away. Enjoy the journey, its so fun!
Love making sourdough bread. If you keep your started in the fridge (once you get it going) you only have to use it once a week and can actually let it sit in the fridge for a couple of weeks. I make sourdough sandwich bread and cinnamon raisin once a week. I then do waffles, pancakes, tortillas on a regular basis for our family. I have a list of so many other things I want to make just trying to perfect one thing at a time. I have 3 girls and 15, 12 and 5 and homeschool. Sourdough bread making is so fun as long as you keep it in the fridge so it doesn’t come too much. I don’t let my kids cry it out either. The first baby is the biggest adjustment. You’re doing great, hang in there and let or hire people to help you and don’t have shame in that. Praying for you!
Love you being real. Of course it’s hard! Ha my girls are 22/20 and i am so glad I kept working so I stayed in the game. But I definitely needed daycare. I recall two can really up the challenge but you’re used to it by then. Keep up the good work!
Renee, I don't really get it... You've eliminated plastic food storage containers because they can be toxic, but you're promoting Factor = plastic boxes. Plus you're heating the food right in the plastic, which is the worst thing you can do.
I think she’s doing the best she can…. She doesn’t need to be hyper-evaluated with a fine toothed comb. She’s putting in an awesome effort, which is better than most of us.
Exactly, and how many Factor sponsorships do we need. Feels like almost every video she does with all the plastic when she's anti plastic. Between that and all the Better help, it's so repetitive.
Making sourdough bread looks really cool… I’ve watched some other RU-vidrs do it, it looks so pretty when you do different designs on it!!! Can’t wait to see….😊🥮 Also makes a great gift to give someone , Nothing like homemade !!! 🫶🏻
I think you should do what you feel is best in the moment for your precious baby. Btw, the sourdough bread is so exciting! That was a great idea for you, I can tell by the big smile on your face. 🎉😅Yah!!!❤
I love to see your journey. Now that I'm married I really got into cooking and baking. I have a Dutch oven at my old apartment. I want to start learning how to make sourdough when I pick it up soon. 😊
Just wanted to say I so, so support your decision to leave Instagram. You actually inspired me! I deleted the app after you posted, had second thoughts and redownloaded, just deleted again tonight while working out (it was too easy to pause my workout and start scrolling). Don't feel bad for when you want to hop back into it, too! Ignore the hateful comments. Also - nanny here 👋👋👋👋👋 The science speaks pretty friggin clearly against sleep training. Do you know what other cultures think of us in the west for leaving our babies alone in dark rooms to "cry it out"? A notable study indicates that babies' stress levels are just as high when they finally stop screaming and fall asleep as the stress levels were when the baby was screaming at the top of their lungs. Infants CANNOT truly self soothe. That is a myth. Now, will pediatricians recommend sleep training? Yes. That's because it's what they're taught to recommend in medical school. It's also often a necessity in western culture. With 2 working parents often and many single family households, families often opt to "force" their child onto a schedule that aligns with their work schedule. If you can afford to go without sleep training, I would highly recommend doing so. Another study shows that, literally, infants cannot get enough love. They cannot get spoiled by you being too patient and loving with them. It's a Scandinavian study which directly links maternal love to a child's long-term success and emotional stability.
I Love the openness you have, I feel the life you have as I think I similarly built myself in a different country. But you know I am not a mom but this is the first thing I come up with when thinking of being one is these things that you are going. I might be overthinking but trust me it scares me. Can you talk about how some one can deal with this new mom, no moms yet - as a sister and a friend what will you suggest to someone who is in the same chapter. Love all
