Dealing with the Fear of Growing Older Alone 

I'm 64 and growing old alone with my two cats, no kids or grandkids and didn't want any but am quite happy and have everything I need. No fears at all & worrying only makes things worse so think positive. I think more about life and not illness and death.

I worry about not being able to take care of my personal needs. Like the things I do every day.....sit in front of makeup mirror and pluck the chin hairs. I want to always be able to take care of my hair and my body. I also worry about winding up in a nursing home and being a victim of abuse. I've heard horror stories on this subject.

I love my life living alone but I am blessed that I have friends around me that we care for one another, I am a 65 yr. old divorced woman. I am grateful for my life because of what the Lord has done and helped me to take care of my mom who died of ALS 2 yrs ago. I live simple I'm not wealthy but I have what I need. I am blessed.

I’m 56 and these things cross my mind. Outliving my husband, he has diabetes and asthma, we have no children, no family near me, both parents have passed, estranged from my brother for years, being alone, running out of finances, ending up in a Nursing home and dying alone. It’s scary. I try to not think about it, but I do.

I am 55 years but have always looked to women older for inspiration, guidance and wisdom. Your videos resonate Margaret as you exude such positive authentic energy. We all want a friend like you...encouraging, uplifting and so switched on to what matters in life.

My biggest fear is, well, losing my 90 something parents, and my siblings and their spouses. I'm not afraid of being alone, just not having my dear family around me.

Great topic. Ultimately, we all die alone. Making peace with that is the best thing we can do. And, regarding worrying about how you'll be remembered? Well, it won't really matter, will it? And, as the adage goes, it's not my business what others think of me :)

Surround youself with people that are younger than yourself, in addition to your same age. The young don't spend a lot of time discussing death and growing old and that helps stay connected in the here and now. But don't be unrealistic about your age.

I worry about living too long. I am an Elder Law Paralegal and we see clients who out live all their family and friends and just want to go. They are frail and confined and feel lonely all the time. So I pray I don’t out live my health. I eat healthy and exercise and hope for the best. Don’t forget to put your estate planning in order. 😊

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I m old too, but I never allow fear to silently creep into my life. Keep our minds with the things of God. Amen.

My 93 year old mother just died in a nursing home from Dementia. This is my biggest fear. I do not any Dementia. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. My husband of 38 years just moved to Nashville without me. I m so overwhelmed and grief stricken. I shouldn’t be 70 and going through this but I am. He took all of our money. God help me. I now have a part time job, will soon lose my health insurance and given up on doing what I wanted to do. I know I am not alone.

I'm 43, which probably makes me young around here, but I'm glad people are talkimg about growing older. I live in a youth-obsessed culture, but to be honest, I wouldn't wanna go back to being a young adult. My brain was barely working when I was in my 20's, and I was going through a painful journey of self-realization in my 30's. It's better to be in my 40's. I know who I am now, I love myself now, and I've gained a little wisdom over the past few years. Ideally, I'd like to see more discussions about getting older, taking the stigma out of aging, because it's something that society doesn't prepare people for.

As a childfree woman I don't really worry about how I will be remembered. I do worry about if I'll still be able to do things for myself, if I'll have enough money and how I will find the strength to carry on if my spouse passes before me.

Just found your lovely channel. I divorced in my mid fifties, dated a bit, had one very short term relationship. However for all intents and purposes I have been single. I haven’t given up on men, but neither do I actively seek companionship. Men my age either have a ton of issues ( as we all do) or want much younger women. So I remain active and open to life. I am financially comfortable. My health is good. I have good relationships with my sons who live near me, and friends. Most important I enjoy my own company!

Why do we have to worry about what people say about us where we’re dead. People change their mind all the time when we are alive., today they might be nice to you but tomorrow they might be bitching about you because you didn’t do what they want you to do... people pleasing is the most stressful thing to do. So live your life to they way you want it as long as you are not hurting anyone intentionally dont worry about when your dead it doesnt matter.

I will not have my own child because of hysterectomy but I want to live life with a companion/s. Having a scholarship foundation is my life mission. No one deserve to die alone let us create a community that support elderlies. Lets also create home for the elders.

These are all great ideas how not to be alone. I was lonely in my marriage and now I can appreciate being alone and enjoying my surroundings better. Getting out is good so we can make new friends. Sixty and me is a wonderful networking channel to be a part of.

I think the most important thing is health. I felt ill at 35 years old with a genetic muscle disorder. I was very active but my life changed drastically. You can't do so much if you don't have health and even socializing is very hard.

Don’t let fear keep you in a bad relationship , that’s just hell on earth .

I’m not afraid of dying alone or living alone but what frightens me is losing my mobility ie: who will help me out with personal things and shopping for a new computer etc to keep up with the times. I guess if I become more computer savvy I can do everything on line if I’m able mentally I have so many fears about nursing homes God don’t let me end up there. God bless everyone reading this. Hope I didn’t bring you down. These are just my fears .

As a 69 year old retired nurse I’ve “ worried “ about getting older. I’ve seen so many scary scenarios. I’m divorced with adult married daughters and adult grandchildren. Even though we’re far apart we communicate daily. I have prepared for anticipated life events as best as I can. I have Long term care insurance, I participate in physical exercises almost daily to stay healthy, my funeral is paid for, I’ve downsized tremendously, I live as simple as possible in order to save for my “ fun” activities. I only eat out when I have family and friends visiting. I stay busy with a Single’s group, church and community activities. Due to previous professional driving experiences before becoming a nurse I now privately teach teenagers to drive. It’s very rewarding and obligation of a few hours a week. My children and grandchildren agree I’ll live with one of them when the needed time comes. I have PEACE in my FAITH. As a nurse I tell people “ literally everyone dies alone”. I’ve seen Many people “ wait” until all the family has left their space to pass. I’ve seen many “ wait” until someone arrives to let go and pass away. No one knows how it will be for us. We just need to be prepared spiritually. At the request of my children, I have been writing “ my stories “ from my varied life experiences to eventually put into book form for my family. Hugs from Arkansas,USA.

It would be HEAVEN to me to be alone! I’m tired of taking care of someone else . . .

Let's do not leave the spiritual aspect of our life! It is there.. Thanks for your beautiful videos.

I absolutely love your videos. I'm nowhere near 60 yet, but I find your content to be quite useful, and your positive message really resonates with me. I often turn to these videos for comfort and insight when I'm feeling overwhelmed about whatever. Thank you for all that you do!

Hi Margaret, Really, a huge well done for setting up your channel. I say as a single lady about to celebrate my 45 and (20 year) bit birthday and no kids, FOCUS ON LIVING, NOT DEATH!!!

“ Are you a worrier or a warrior ? I like that. Thanks. 😘

I was a worrier, but as I’ve got older I’ve taught myself to calm down and embrace the here and now.. enjoy life more, in a nutshell I’ve mellowed 🙏🏻🌺 Thanks so much for doing these videos so enjoy all the various topics

This is such a pertinent topic. It’s worrisome but it’s a relief to talk about it. Thanks for tackling this today! I can see from the many comments that it is on all of our minds.

I am male and respect your group female identity. But I still enjoy and identify with your topics. I wanted to compliment you about your willingness to address such deep poignant life topics and you do it with heart and hope. Laird

I dream of having an amazing and fun social network when I'm old. I think that's so important.

I have decided to have a Death Doula when my time comes and I like the idea of living in a retirement home where I have my own apartment & not worry about traveling when I want my pets & plants looked after when I travel. An older friend of mine lives like this & she loves to take cruises, maintains her independence, has peers her age & knows her place, pets & plants are safe.

Another wonderful chat! For myself, I truly feel that health is currency as I age. I see health as a hedge against financial problems, loneliness and my ability to generate income as I need to. I have an active job, lots of movement, and I'm grateful for it. I've been hesitant even to pursue promotional opportunities because those jobs are very sedentary and I'm terrified of that impact on my fitness! I don't know if I'm right or not, but I've come to believe that my fitness is the fundamental key to surviving and thriving as I age. A sort of bank account.

What a great topic and one that concerns so many of us! There are no guarantees in life and the only thing we can control is our attitude and yours is great! Thank you!

Eat sensible. Drink half your weight in ounces of water daily. Take walks or do some mild exercise of your liking. Enjoy some music and the outdoors whether its rain or shine. Spend on what you NEED first. Make time for those you love.

I think the best situation is like the one the Golden Girls had on TV except it would be better that all have their own small homes in the same block. People don't visit like they used to because everyone is living too far from one another.

I have found my faith community to be another family. I go to mass every morning and the closeness and love I feel from a caring God is ever present. I have my ups and downs, too, but I dated half the planet in my 50's afraid I would wind up alone. Thank God, I have a sibling who calls me every day and even that doesn't guarantee I'll be with someone when I die. But I'm not afraid anymore. I cared for both parents and saw miracles every day as I tried to meet their needs. As the Roger's and Hammerstein song maintains, "...walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone." I believe that truly. Trust in God who loved you into existence and will ever be true to that love.

Very serious video, very necessary video, thank you 🌹

Thank you so much for making this video about all the things I worry about as I age. I am 65 and even though I used to exercise like crazy I now have mobility issues that really scare me. Also, because of my physical ailments I cannot work anymore and am living on a very limited income so I worry about being able to continue to support myself. You have such a calm and comforting mannerism about you and its wonderful that you inspire us to try to stay calm and practical to troubleshoot how to overcome the possible hardships of aging and how to live our best possible lives and be our best possible selves. This community you have built is wonderful. Who is the author of the book you discuss and what is the name of the book? I appreciate the wonderful resources you come up with that are so helpful.

I'm 28 and i'm already thinking about this...

I worry that when I could not anymore take care of myself no one is going to be there to clean me and let me eat until I am so weak and ready to die. If I could choose want to die in my sleep I don't want to die slowly I want fast and that is when I sleep.

I am 34 and I find this video very educational. Thank you for sharing.

That was so very courageous to be so real and sincere of how you feel about growing older. What good is it going to do to worry? Live, laugh, love. That is what life is all about. I'm sixty two, I have conjestive heart failure, I will die someday as we all will and I have very little money and I don't have a partner but, I'm a survivor and COURAGEOUS. I'm not lonely. I read the bible. Watch u-tube videos, go walking. All of those things are free. If worst comes to worst. I'll get three roommates and SPLIT all the bills!! Lol!!! Colleen 🌈🌈🌈 Have a wonderful day!!!

your right margaret we have take care of our self physically,and emotionally.

I'm 30 & i already worry about this. My partner is 20 years older than me. I'm so sad & scared for the years I'll have to live missing him and all the other people I'll have lost by then. I don't know how I'm going to get over it. It's so stupid to let these things ruin the time we have but sometimes it still creeps in. Thanks for the video.

Have just managed to get back in touch with my daughter after Parental Alienation, but it's the little things that she doesn't do, that hurt. I'm never invited down for Sunday Lunch, as I live alone, her father and I are divorced, or get a phone call, where she asks "How are you Mum," preferable to getting a text, just to hear another voice, and know I am not the only person in the world. Even her friends say she lives in her own little bubble. I think my epitaph on my tombstone would be she lived "A solitary life".

I am 62 and going for total hip replacement. I feel it's now a down hill slide. I have isolated myself . Girl friends are gone. Nobody will remember me. I have accepted that. I was always afraid to die alone and now I know it will be that way.

A couple years ago, my cousin who was 78 died alone at home! She had a home paid for, plenty of money to live, 2 kids that loved her and called her every single day, plus many friends who cared about her, Yet, when the time came, she died alone that night. I am 71 and not well off like her and my kids (3 sons) are not that attentive. Lately, I have been thinking about her! It's sad to die alone no matter what your circumstances are! I lost my mate 3 years ago to Alz and have been alone since. I keep trying to come to grips with the inevitable and realize no matter who you are or what you have, you might still die alone! Kind of sad to think about!!

I'm in my 30s and I love listening to the older folks so I can be prepared. Thanks :)

You are such a fabulous inspirational woman! Thank you for raising all these important issues.💖

First, thank you for discussing these topics, very helpful. This coming week we are going to update our wills and make some decisions about final arrangements. I’m 67 and in pretty good health, my husband is 86 and still working like a 40 year old. Thinking about a living trust instead of a will and exploring the idea of donating body to science or whatever ‘greener’ way to return the physical body back to the Earth. My husband has adult kids, I have no family left, so I feel that it’s very important to get everything in order while we are still healthy. We have been together over 30 years. Your list of worries are right on. I worry about being alone, financial struggles and trying to get in better health. Have already started the downsizing of items, Marie Kondo’s book was very helpful. Organizing is an ongoing process... Thank you again for your timely topics!

Margaret, I just want to thank you for the wide variety of topics you talk about. I experienced the worst side of watching a loved one grow old alone. It was my mother. I am 55, and the same age that my mother was when my father died. It is quite overwhelming to think about being alone at this age. However, instead of choosing life, friendships, and growing as a person, my mother chose to use alcohol. It started with wine before bed escalating from there. She spent her life organizing it around her drinking, as she was a functional Southern socialite. But, her life ended early at 73. She developed an autoimmune disease and her body could not fight it. Please, anyone reading this, if you are sliding down this slippery path, stop and get the help you need!!

I worry about being left behind... all the people around me have moved on, moving abroad, most of them, and getting on with their lives and I feel rather stuck, and one reason is, financially

Nice video thanks !! I'm 66 and widowed w/o kids. If nothing else, this has made me aware of how many others besides myself have the same worries. !! I enjoyed reading many of the comments. My biggest worries is being able to live on s/s alone after I stop working, and/ or how long I can keep working... 💕Best wishes to all - R

I lost my husband in early 2017. I have had to think about all these things. I am healthy and can get around just fine at 72. I am faced with either selling my home or share it with my son and wife. I am retired but am also considering taking a part time job. Yes extra money is always an issue. I am very independent so I still think I can do things I did years ago. I am a realist and do realize I need people to be around. Good topics of discussion.

I worry most about not having things complete. And how the people who love me will handle it.

Thanks for your positivity and not shying away from important issues like this.

I am a lesbian and life has been lonely..... I have had trouble meeting someone of quality and local! My health is great and I still work full time with a very satisfying career.. I have just a couple of loyal friends but I fear losing them because of their failing health issues.

I really enjoyed this video! I’m 40yo and live a very healthy lifestyle but I still worry about becoming ill or disabled in my older years, having to potentially depend on others to look after me.

I believe how we are remembered is a true sum of the kind of person we were. I want to be remembered with a smile. I’m 66 and about the age of 60 I was having issues with my balance and odd accidents and falls. So many tests and a biopsy that came back Muscular Dystrophy. I learned I was born with it that progressed slow. So thankful I was active with my kids and the baby stages with my Grands. It has progressed to the point of a walker and cane and trouble with my hands and arms. I’m Blessed with a Wonderful husband of 46 years and our family live very close. We have lived what I call a non wasteful life. Lived a very enjoyable life but never buying what we didn’t need and taking care of what we had. Especially vehicles. My concern and prayer is to not become a burden and use up are investments and to be able to stay in my home. I keep it in my prayers but I refuse to let it steal my peace from the joys of today.

Good morning fm Singapore 13/11.❤️ enjoy listening to you in the morning especially while having breakfast. Motivating.

This one brought me to tears. I only say Thank You.

Some cities have set up senior hotlines. You sign up and someone calls you once a week to chat and see how you are doing. They can find help for you if you need a ride, get medicine and food, etc.

I am glad I have found this video, I have always been afraid of being alone as I get older and I am often sad.

Hey Margaret ,love this topic i think most of us do worry about these things it gives us things to surely talk an thing about .

I just love your personally. And the videos. Thank you . You make such a different in my life ❤️

So wise and sensitive. Value all through. Thank you!

I really love these videos ❤️thank you so much. You’re wonderful.

I don't know about anyone here but if you have put back a little money your kids/grandkids will try anything in the book to try and take it from you for instance car trouble /consolidate their bills, utilities are behind down payment on a car ..i have a male grandchild that borrowed money to buy a car he had a new job making 50 k yr he paid 1 payment thats been over a year i need my money back anyone have advise..i have 4 other grandkids its made it hard on them because i will never loan money to anyone again ...i'am 71 and live alone they don't visit unless they want something they think you owe them something.....sad situation

I'm in my mid 50s .I'm what was called generation X. Many of my friends have already died. I'm very surprised. I had no idea until it started to happen. I always knew my generation had it much harder then my parents who were WW2 and had it extraordinarily easy. But I had no idea it would result in mainly the men dying in late 40s and early 50s. I would say that is the biggest problem I'm having with getting older so far.

You are amazing Such a fantastic topics you choose Thank you veryyy much You are a great mentor God bless you.

Margaret, great topic. I'm afraid of it ALL. I've already lost my husband, living with my son and his fiancee, who are expecting, because he lost his job, so I'm helping them! I fear dying alone, a nursing home, Alzheimer's, no money- you name it. As another reader commented, after fifty it IS downhill, but for the very lucky few. I have no friends left. What can I say? Rosemarie ❤🌹🌻

I worry about not knowing what is going to happen to me when i get really old

I live for 25 yrs in the USA…but I own a home in the Philippines and I have no problem going back there to die.

I'm too young to have this fear but I do because I feel like I will be alone forever and i wont have anyone to grow old and it sucks

Very good.I'd just like to make a couple of points. If you find you have a need for more social interaction,you can meet new people through a website called meetup.com where you submit the name of your city and area and can find people who share your interests to get together with. For instance, I went out for sushi the other night and met seven interesting women in the meetup. We had a really nice time! As far as concerns about dying alone go, really, none of us have any control over that so I tell myself that if I happen to be alone when I die, I'll be more than able to deal with that and I believe that to be true. As far as being concerned about how we will be remembered, this is another case of having no real control over how others choose to remember us, so I feel the best thing we can do is choose to be a person that we ourselves would want to think kindly of. We can waste perfectly good days with things that we have little control over so let's live in the moment ,as much as we can.

Thank you for addresses this!

Thank you for that informative and positive video👌💪. You are inspiring me! I am 37, childless and really worried about my future. I want to prepare.

Thank You my Sister . You are very much inspiring Thanks for All your Advice. Thanks, we will follow through.

This is the fear in the back of my mind. I'm 27, have autism, never had a relationship, live with 56 year old dad and two younger brothers who are 3 and 6 years younger. My mum died at 49 from cancer but she had lots of friends and family. My brothers will eventually move out and I fear dying alone. Everybody I know who is younger(early 20s) is already married and some have kids. So I think my future is bleak :(

This was a great video. I got a lot of information and made me think about my own life..Thanks for sharing....Have a great day..

I just turned 57 and it’s the first birthday that has really upset me. My husband is 10 years older than me which never bothered me until now. I’m terrified he’s going to die before me (which is probable) and I’ll get old by myself and be so lonely. I suffer from depression, always have, and it comes and goes. I’d be crushed beneath such a weight if he dies and leaves me alone

Thanks for this wonderful insight

I don't care about how I will be remembered, thank goodness. The other things, tho', I do think about!

I worry I’m alone all the time & my daughter & husband who lives only ten minutes away want nothing to do with me.

Great topics. we really need these kinds of dicussions.

yes my biggest fear.

I don't have any children and I worry about if something happens to me what will become of my pets. I do not have any reliable friends who are willing to step in and help.

You are lovely, thanks for this information.

Great channel, subscribed. 61 yo CatMan here 🐯

As an 84 year old who spent my life taking care of older people i learned so much from those dear ones through the years. Mainly that we become precious or unkind people each day by how we think and act. Everyday we become more kind and humble or more cynical and self serving. We have a choice. I thank my God that i had 40 years to see who i could be as an older woman. I still have to chose how i will act!! Thank you for this positive program.

Health and loneliness

Thanks a lot for this nice, very sensible discourse. One thing I'd like to add (which applies only to a select few) is that people who make exceptional contributions in any field of human endeavor would like to be remembered foremost for the contribution/s they have made when they are gone. Would also like to quote from the Christian hymn which says "Fading away like the stars of the morning; only remembered by what we have done."

I love you so much for what you are doing.....

This site is great.

You look lovely today Margaret. Is it new makeup or is it happiness from within that makes you look so relaxed and younger.

You are awesome thanks for your beautiful video

I am glad that I found you on my life, I l alone, my dear husband passed in 2020 May, he was not well for 10 yrs - took care of him at home, I miss him, trying to face the reality of living alone, I m yoga teacher, conducting yoga class, o two sons, 3 grandkids, I m living by my self, ..... I have noticed you are tackling all the issues which I am thinking, so I m getting so much knowledge & courage from you video, I in Toronto Canada,

You have a very interesting and informative channel...thank you for all the time you spend putting it together so others may benefit. My challenge is to find girlfriends or even a girlfriend...for all my life I have devoted myself to my mother, it was just her and I not realizing one day she will be gone... that day is here. I've tried to connect with others but it's difficult at this age 68 because so many have their "own" friends or just stick to their family. Traveling, clubs etc require money and although I have money there is that fear of running out... makes it hard to live in the moment...

I worry about my mobility in the future and how I will manage.

Being alone. Winding up in a nursing home. How horrible.