Dealing with Trauma Featuring Adeola Kingsley-James | S5EP07 

I suffered from childhood trauma. I am the only child that my parents have together, also the first girl for both of them but second child for both as well.. I came in my parents life I will say not the right time, it was durning the Liberian war. I stayed with my mom until I was like 5/6 yrs old but then my mother give me up to my dad family becuz she said she couldn’t take care of me and her other kids (financially). I stayed with my dad family but have never met my father until a year later. Growing up with my dad was like a parent in the house that you don’t see.. my father never hug me, celebrated my birthday, came to my graduation (6th grade) I had a rich politician father living in the house yet I only had 2 pair of shoes. My father never allowed me to play outside or friends visiting. So it was school and then straight home. I was bullied in school and when I came home my older cousins will beat me for no reason and also my father girlfriends (whatever flavor of the week). I was afraid of everything. Came to the USA stayed with my father older sister (my aunt) and she treated me the same as well. I missed out on my childhood and teenage years. I didn’t know about trauma until I was 23 years old taking a psychology class in college. Psychology helped me a lot because I knew I was hurting but I didn’t know what it was. My brain repressed my traumatic experiences as a way of defense against the stress as a child. In psychology it’s called REPRESSION (Freudian theory). Imagine trying to heal from a problem you can’t remember. I can’t asked my family becuz they act like no such thing ever happened.. so when I watch this episode, it felt good to know that I am not crazy and it’s not my fault. But I am healing and knowing better.

This woman will make heaven biko. So much wisdom

Husband Material's question was very valid. The guest's perspective was also quite valid. They just misunderstood each other and Nedu should not have spoken that way to his colleague. The guest meant, as a person you can't change anything but HM was also pointing out the error in blocking out issues. I guess the middle ground is when you cannot change a situation, do not let it overwhelm you so that you protect your peace.

After watching this podcast am just smiling and grateful because I realized am healing to some extent because I realized my trauma at early age and I started working on myself, Am at a point where I have created my own life and how I want it to be, I know my limit and my boundaries and anytime am going out of line I quickly do a check talk to myself where I have a time alone and evaluate my environment and call myself back to order. But the only issue I have not been able to get use to it is to pick my phone and call someone😢 even if mind is on them and it's not that I don't care but I don't just feel the need to call someone if I don't have any important thing to talk about because growing up anytime I call my parents they'll always tell me am busy and they'll always call back at their own time and ask me to only call if I have something important to discuss. So expect people to call me when they have something important to say even in relationship I have little or nothing to say if I feel it's not important.

For the first time in my life, i finished a 2hours plus podcast without getting distracted. Nice one Adeola

This podcast! 🥺 I'm honestly so thankful for this platform. Thank you for exposing me to constructs I'd otherwise not think of.

This lady knows what she’s saying, I can relate with this trauma talks, mostly “repression”. Also, this podcast is so educative and focuses on different topics like relationship, traumas, entertainment, politics, comedy, etc. Kudos to you guys for bringing great guest weekly. 🙏🏽👌🏾

Choosing to be calm in situations is action. You intentionally chose to be calm. Silence could be golden.

This podcast simply resonates the fact that parents can make the children they want. The formative years of a child should be used in the right way by the parents to teach and make a wholesome person.

Adeola you're very educated 👏👏

Husband material is an apt example of a choleric: very knowledgeable about so many things, so when you have a contrary opinion to their views they easily get upset but people like him need to know there is no one answer to a question. learn to respect people's views. I am a big fan of Husband material because e dey always dey make sense. Kudos to your guest.

I was just smiling whiles the guest was speaking because she's full of exceptional knowledge and wisdom. I also learnt allot from her. I love her kind of wisdom kai❤❤❤❤. I am a big fan of husband material, but in this particular session, he lost it. May be assuming he calmed down, he would have understood the perspective the guest was talking from which was so vivid. Husband material didn't apply emotional intelligence in this session at all kai. It was as if he came to this podcast offended from outside😂😂😂😂

I enjoyed every moment of this podcast 😊 Thank you Ms. Adeola and everyone with your questions and contributions

This is the best episode so far, very insightful, educational and informative.

This podcast was worth every dime of time! Thank you so much Mrs Adeola Kingsley, Thank you so much Honest Bunch podcast host.

What HM is saying is. For instance a person comes to her with the same issue that the country is weighing him or her down mentally and they need psychological help. with what she saying that's what she will tell them and construct thier mind to do so. Meaning if the whole of Nigeria chooses to do what she does since it works for her it should work for them too. But in doing that we all fall into an illusion and damn the country.

God bless the Honest bunch crew. Your episodes are top notch, educative, inspiring and knowledge filled. Appreciate. On this particular episode I wish I could do a VN but will type as much as I can. There are so many diversions; I would slate few observations and facts. 1. Nothing on earth is natural; it's a spiritual world. 2. Adeola case and trauma are personal, it's not general . Perhaps her parents should have done more of the therapy when she was young. 3. Life is a stage, there are times when parents are to inculcate and direct and that's the more reason we should have a mentally, psychologically balanced people as parents. 4.she is good, educated and sound in her experience. A ministry is a result of your personal encounter. (ADEOLA. MRS) 5. Thanks to our parents for the No,s and the Yes, es. 6.An interview or seminars on PARENTING will go a long way. Let me pen- down here. I love you guys.

Haven't you seen movies where the warrior stands still in the midst of a battle, shuts his/her eyes, comes into a state of calm, opens his/her eyes and begins to make rational moves? That's an illustration for what Adeola was saying about handling realities. Husband Material made a solid point by pointing out that it it is ineffective for people who have the capacity to do something about their situation to seemingly dwell in a state of illusion. BUT . . . . . i think he misconstrued Adeola - I think Adeola was basically referring to keeping a clear head instead of always worrying, because the energy that's used to worry and gripe and complain, could have been used to calm down and think. / / / / / / / / / / / / / / I don't think Adeola meant shutting out reality just to be able to sleep and behave like nothing is happening / / / / / / /

That woman has gained much wisdom. I really would love to attend the training she attended.

I can’t love this podcast enough, I love all the questions the all the host always ask their guests & the very educative answers the guest come up with. Thank you all so much your podcast is very educative in an entertaining way.

The most amazing podcast. Always having very deep educative conversations. This woman is packed with knowledge.

This was such an amazing episode… I follow up almost all the episodes since I started seeing this show but this is one of the best ❤❤❤ Screen recording almost every point… Amazing one.

I must confess this is one of the most educative session and I enjoyed every second of it. The knowledge and therapy that I could've paid millions because it worth every cent.. Thank you @Honest Brunch Also our guest. Much love

Insightful!

@Adeola. Thank you so much for everything, my phenomenal babe ❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉.

"TO YOU THYSELF BE KNOWN" I love that line!

Every week I listen and think this is the best Podcast, the next week is even better. You guys are doing amazing. Well done God bless this wonderful team 😍

I came here from Spotify just to drop my comment. This is the most educative podcast I’ve ever come across u guys are doing great

This is Amazing....very interesting ❤❤❤❤❤ i love every bit

"YOU ARE NOT SPEAKING MY MIND BUT YOU ARE SPEAKING"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wow Amazing conversation ❤️

Solid as a rock we stand gidigbaa 💯💯

This is the best podcast of Nedu's I ve ever come across with. I will save it to revisit again and again How do I meet Mrs Adeola cause I ve alot to dust off my mind

I watched in bits but my mind was on finishing this podcast till I finished watching it. It was worth my time.

Awesome episode, keep bringing high value individuals like this to the show.

THE ENERGY BETWEEN THE HANDS IS TRUE O !!!! , energy dey o , wow !!!

Great one guys 👍🏾 Much love ❤️

This lady is God sent i can actually relate with this topic being traumatised as a child 😢😢

God bless the team for bringing this up. The worst is when the toxicity is from an immediately family member.

This is amazing 👏

I’m definitely sharing this with my girls……

This podcast is what I can't miss ❤

Fav podcast

honestly you guys are the best among them all, I must say a very big thank you for impacting knowledge in us I love you guys

Thank you guys for this episode!

God bless You Husband Material for that question..if we all decide that we can't do anything about it. it will persist. In the Nigeria situation, we need to realized that we can actually do something about it by demanding for better forcefully! I believe it is absolute selfishness that if for the sake of your own peace you decide not to be bothered about the troubles of others. IF IT WERE YOU AFFECTED DIRECTLY BY KIDNAPPING FOR INSTANCE WOULD YOU SIMPLY DECIDE TO NOT LET IT WORRY YOU BECAUSE YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!? The moment we start putting ourselves in the shoes of many other Nigerian Victims (which we actually all are) . We will realize that empathy in it self could propel a level of action. No matter how little!

So much wisdom as she speaks ❤

The psychological issues caused by Nigerian government policies/decisions can be damaging. I understand HM's views, but it was a deviation from the discussion at that point. The lady was discussing personal healing and growth which many people need right now... There's time for everything. That time was to address worry and healing from trauma. Una wehdone oh.

Lovely conversation 👌

Praise the Lord brother Nedu

This is the first time I'm watching honest bunch podcast and i got my notepad to write down somethings. This lady is full of knowledge

YOU GUYS ARE GREAT PLEASE CONTINUE DOING THE GOOD WORK

First time i saw husband material benched in his podcast. This is really an ogbonge podcast

Sending Mrs Adeola a garden of flowers & love ❤❤❤❤❤❤

I really appreciate this episode Knowledge is power indeed 👍

This Episode is very Deep...kudos guyzz

This is worth hearing! ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

What a wonderful episode #thehonestbunch with love from Kenya....❤ 🇰🇪🇰🇪

I believe you. These are Steve corvey principles

Husband Material just went cold and quiet because the answer to his question was not met It's the first time I'm seeing him like this,I feel for him but he can't afford to be this emotional for a man in his position, cheer up man

Jah bless her……..I love her intellect 🙌🏿🙏🏿🙌🏿

This episode is enriching ❤

I love it

This video is priceless. If you key to what Adeola is saying your like will change for the better.

Kudos to the guest, husband material came down, get the understanding of our guest and trouble urself not. Big ups bro

Respect to this woman wow just wow, so beautiful with wisdom

I have learnt so much today. Keep it up guys ❤❤❤

I Soo much acknowledged what she said... " Your adulthood is birthed from your childhood" a paraphrase.... Trauma gets one traumatized.... Personality is defined by who you are.... A seasoned therapist she is... A trained theatrical being to a therapist...

One thing I learned from this episode is that if we can all be individually sincere to ourselves, we will see that most of the problems we blame people for come from inside us. We do the blame game and play the victim in situations that we orchestrated.

Almost Time

this is the best podcast for me

Psychodynamic theory. Freud, exactly what I was reading, thank you for this video

Yes she's right alot of time bitterness, unforgiving and resentment causes cancers

The President and Government must be held accountable. I stand with HM. Also, this is an informative interview.

This is so profound

Even when we stopped pasting food menu in the kitchen, we still had to eat certain food on some days... I believe it helped us groom ourselves

Nedu's flinched when he had worster😂. Interesting conversation

I love this woman ❤

Adeola was speaking for herself and what works for her and not others so it was right for Husband Material to ask that question for general purpose and dumb for Nedu to try to shush him because I feel Nedu wasn’t standing on what he knows but on what he feel Adeola knows.

I understand husband material. Both of them can actually be right in their arguments. Asking for change from those who can do something about it is not considered along with bad energy or bad vibes because it is in that perspective a personal choice by that person to seek for justice and for the right. While in her own perspective it is okay to dodge those things to protect your peace but it won't be for everybody. So Husband Material question is that are you going to go about telling people to protect their peace about issues affecting them and their country men especially bordering on people who can do something about it. Leaders and people can as well adopt such ideologies while things go wrong in their jurisdictions and they do nothing because they want to protect their peace. People fought for us to be where we are today as Nigerians and black people. If they had just accepted their chains and did nothing, none of us will be here at the human level we are in. Husband Material had a lot of sense in what he was saying because he knows the lady prescribes this to people she speaks to. Some peoples peace of mind comes when they speak for the right things to be done and when it is done. The two energies can exist with the right perspective to them. One part shouldn't be generalized.

Good job guys and kudos to the guest speaker, it's good to be knowledgeable and have contrary opinions sometimes but husband material needs to listen to understand not listen to reply .

This is a powerful episode fr

Thank you very much 🙏😊

God bless you mummy Adeola❤

Skrrrrrrrrr to the intro! Congratulation real real

I don’t think people study the 12 laws of the universe enough. Depression isn’t real, people need to stop focusing on the negative things in their lives, it’s the law of perpetual transmutation of energy and also the law of attraction.

Husband material's energy went from 100-0 real quick after that little disagreement with Adeola and Nedu. I felt for him though.

As much I think that stalemate could been resolved better, I believe it’s important to take into consideration the context within which a guest is brought on the show and assess their answers against the backdrop of what they have been brought to talk about. Adeola’s work allows her to deal with the mental health of an “individual” on a “one on one” basis and so in giving her solutions, her aim will be to protect the mental health of a person even if means telling the person to “not worry about a problem”. The truth is the world will always be balanced. Not everyone will adopt her style and her solution will not work for everyone. There are people who will always be outspoken but her advice is still very valid for some specific people. Her answer would certainly be different from what a governor or a gubernatorial candidate would say. Something was amiss with this episode but I hope whatever it is can be resolved better next time. Well done to the team nonetheless, this topic is not a walk in the park.

Great video as usual

This is the only podcast that make sense in nigeria others are just fooling keep up with the good work nedu and team love. Why is it not on spotify yet ive been waiting on spotify since yesterday have to come to youtube to watch please post on spotify

Thanks guys

I love this episode ❤❤

I learnt a lot today 👏👏🙏

Fantastic Episode

The way everybody interpreted "you have just started" in the unhappy marriage analogy is funny 😂

Hmm take me back to NLP class😊❤❤❤❤

I like how y’all hype each other. Wish I had friends that hype this way. I’m sure I would conquer the world.😅

I'm very happy at least this woman help a lot some people never understand life and family with her perspective people will have some common sense "self discovery"

This podcast❤

Nice one 👏