How to Stop Your Self Sabotage Habit

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The topic of self-sabotage is introduced with an engaging anecdote or statistic, explaining how we can unknowingly undermine our own success. Self-sabotage often stems from a lack of self-awareness, where individuals do not fully understand their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, leading to negative outcomes. Fear of failure, characterized by anxiety about not achieving goals, often results in avoidance and missed opportunities. Negative self-talk, involving a critical internal dialogue, damages self-esteem and performance. Procrastination, the habit of delaying tasks, reduces productivity and increases stress. Perfectionism, the pursuit of excessively high standards, can cause paralysis and dissatisfaction. Effective strategies to counteract these behaviors include mindfulness, cognitive restructuring, time management, and embracing imperfection. The conclusion highlights the importance of self-awareness and proactive measures, urging individuals to reflect on their behaviors and commit to positive changes.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2a...
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
RU-vid: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychology...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
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28 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 100

@dawntapia7532 4 месяца назад

Thank you Dr. Fox. I have started brushing my teeth taking a shower and walking to my mailbox every morning instead of staying in bed.

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well. This is awesome news. I'm super proud of you. Great work.

@le_th_ 29 дней назад

Keep it up, Dawn! Take care of yourself the way you would take care of a best friend if she were struggling. : )

@D8099. 3 месяца назад

Your helping me so much. I just entered my 40’s. I have 2 narcissistic parents. This is all so new to me. I feel like I took a mental hike to go exploring one sunny day then found myself in the middle of a mine field. I was getting along with my parents but the more I study the more little blow ups are starting to happen. I work for my dad. Now I’m thinking that’s a bad idea. Lots of family mobbing and scapegoating anytime someone breaks the ice. The good news is I’m no longer suicidal. I can see my self worth. I know “It’s not me” yes I quoted Dr Ramanis book. I love you both. And bought both your books in print and audible. I’m still a bit lost and I can only absorb so much at a time. But I’m determined.

@soumyajoseph7429 3 месяца назад

These are great analogies "family in the head" and "evolution of the baby elephant's strength".

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

Thank you for appreciating the analogies in the video!

@deniszen1 3 месяца назад

Thank you for your video Dr Fox! I'm truly in! Having a full blown C-PTSD reactivated at my last workplace with an employee that was molested by a multirecidivist...

@merindadiesel3370 4 месяца назад

Love elephant story. I feel like that elephant.

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@EdithBrown-v2d 4 месяца назад

I been really working on this. Thanks Dr Fox you really put me on the right track. I really have problems with thinking what people have told me or done to me. I dont get mad at them. I hurt myself believing their cruelty. Always thinking i am the problem. I will listen to mire of what you have to say. Thanks Again. You Saved Me..

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@Way_Hid 4 месяца назад

My death drive brings me here

@animalliberationCLBB 4 месяца назад

I had it too. Don't give in. Seek help. It's like Attacks. Not real although it feels like it.

@Way_Hid 4 месяца назад

Thank you for reminding myself and other me (bad inner voices inside me) you kind stranger... 😅 I feel a sense of belonging here ... We all will be going through this together.@@animalliberationCLBB

@Zizou20009 4 месяца назад

Your drive for life brings you here. Think about it. Why else would you be seeking for help (watching these videos)?

@ajhproductions2347 4 месяца назад

Man, I feel that. That’s all I can say, is I really get it. It feels like things are getting worse. I had to unplug completely from the news, it was messing with me. Sometimes it feels like the world is burning around you, and sometimes it is. We pull together though, and you will make it.

@Valreea 4 месяца назад

Me too. After about a year of improvement getting rejected has put me right back at square one: bedridden with ideations. I'm so over life. I'm just ready.

@TheRedding409 4 месяца назад

Everything ever created in the world was imagined first

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@user-zb9qk3ml9r 3 месяца назад

Over the past few weeks ( due to some changes I have made to my diet) I have been feeling bursts of hope here and there which I have not felt for the longest time. It's a strange feeling, and I sometimes do not know what to do with my new found optimism xD Is this common? Can anybody relate?

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

It's great to hear that you're experiencing bursts of hope! Keep embracing that optimism.

@user-zb9qk3ml9r 3 месяца назад

@@DrDanielFox Thank you!! Mental health professionals like you are a real asset to the mental health field

@joeking7645 4 месяца назад

Does anyone have any advice or resources for Couples?

@Stopnormalizingviolence 4 месяца назад

Dr. Fox has a bunch of helpful videos for partners, family, and couples. I would check out his playlists. I'm not sure if I can share a link to one but I'll try. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Vsj8QaDcjQI.htmlsi=6A5-TMDhrl9bGieB

@navn 4 месяца назад

Great communication is key. Learn patterns and triggers of the person with the disorder, figure out how and when to adapt (and when not to).

@joeking7645 4 месяца назад

My wife is Borderline but doesn't understand why she does anything she says

@ajhproductions2347 4 месяца назад

The only suggestion I could make would be to check out either of dr fox’s books because they’re really insightful.

@Stopnormalizingviolence 4 месяца назад

Your wife is not a whole disorder. She might *have* BPD, but she isn't BPD.

@thereisnosanctuary6184 3 месяца назад

@@ajhproductions2347 Are you Dr.Fox in disguise?

@thereisnosanctuary6184 3 месяца назад

@@Stopnormalizingviolence Stopnormalizinggenderfluidity

@jodibales3169 4 месяца назад

Dr. Fox, your understanding of BPD is compassionate and accurate. You are helping the world understand our humanity and all of us with BPD. Thank you

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad I could provide some insight!

@gymnasticlife1788 3 месяца назад

@@DrDanielFoxI second their comment. There is no other expert with this level of insight for BPD. We appreciate you!!

@ugotugot 4 месяца назад

The "all or nothing" view of life is a vicious cycle that keeps you in the same place and tells you that making the smallest steps is not good enough and demands you make big changes right now and just be like everyone else. Building up from the ground the foundations to live a healthier and fulfilling life is the right thing to do but it takes massive efforts and time in order to break the old habits and adopt healthy and better ones instead

@nicole2214 3 месяца назад

My "family in the head" is called "Amy", which stands for annoying misinformed you lol when I get depressed or have a panic attack, I just tell myself "Oh, Amy is speaking up". When I think this or say this to myself it reminds me that my emotions are in play and I am in "emotional mind", and I do not have all the facts. It then allows me to practice DBT skills I have learned and fact-check the situation. The name came to mind when I reading and learning about the amygdala. Plus, it sometimes allows me a little chuckle during a very distressing situation, which kinda helps relieve it a bit.

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing your personal strategy with us. It's inspiring to see how you manage your emotions.

@melissay7979 Месяц назад

A strange coincidence. I also call my fear/ anxious mind "Amy" short for amygdala.😂

@ralfz24 4 месяца назад

That elephant with the rope analogy was extremely illuminating for me, thanks for these videos they really make a difference in my life

@stephbowler3141 4 месяца назад

Thank you for describing things perfectly. I often struggle to form the words out loud what's happening inside my mind but you expressed what it's really like especially with the description of the family in the head. Thank you for providing helpful solutions to stop being our worst enemy and how visualization can be a useful tool.

@d_a9404 4 месяца назад

I cannot say thank you enough. We appreciate you.

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@ajhproductions2347 4 месяца назад

This came at a really good time. Every single time I make any progress, I feel so good about it briefly, but the first sign of failure and I’m ready to throw in the towel in every meaning of the expression. It’s just incredibly embarrassing to have such a fragile grasp on reality and such a difficult time regulating emotions that are so overwhelming that at times I just go mute and freeze. The most difficult part of all of it is that I genuinely can’t see myself getting better, I have no hope and no faith in myself, and to be honest, I really don’t feel I deserve to get better. Knowing that it’s up to me to do the work is defeating in itself. Ugh, I’m sorry, vent. I do have both books by dr Fox and I highly recommend both. While My ADHD prevents me from retaining 95% of what I read, the insight I’ve gained has been invaluable. I guess it’s all a process. I just wish it didn’t need to take so long. Thanks dr fox 🙏

@helicoptermann1-o5x 4 месяца назад

As an individual who lives with this diagnosis and grew up in a rough environment that has exacerbated my symptoms. I often tell people that I despise hood culture because many people are not aware of how that environment makes a disorder like this even worse. So far, I have lost one person who lost their battle with this disorder. When poor and unemployed, it is very difficult to find a therapist trained to treat this disorder because they prefer private insurance, and most people living with this disease are unemployed and on government assistance. Thank you for your work because without many people, they would not receive treatment. This disorder produces symptoms that people simply can not tolerate living with as well as being around and is almost in the same category as schizophrenia depending on the environment that an individual develops in.

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

Your words resonate deeply, and I appreciate you sharing your experiences.

@Sraheens1 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much. You articulate exactly where I’m at regarding going forward. Thank you!

@excelself 4 месяца назад

Great video full of useful info.

@nappyfries Месяц назад

I so needed this. I’ve been looking for a job for months & the process of job searching has taken a toll on my mental health. I have a to-do list that I have every day but I do lack a routine that I feel like I need. I think once I establish & stick to that it’ll help with the momentum of my day where I won’t feel the need to procrastinate & put things off.

@DrDanielFox День назад

I completely understand how tough the job search can be. Establishing a routine can really make a difference in your day-to-day productivity. Keep pushing forward, you’ve got this!

@The5thElement23 4 месяца назад

Extremely refreshing to hear these logical, achievable steps that are not coated in cryptic, religious terms. Thank you for empowering so many.

@klausm.3035 3 месяца назад

This type of content is so valuable it’s a treasure, thank you for uploading these videos Daniel

@jamiedrury2050 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much. I feel like In your videos that you're directly speaking to me. I've sent your page To a couple Friends

@DarrenFelix 3 месяца назад

Thank you very much. I really needed and need help.

@Alamir9116 3 месяца назад

You are not trapped in a room full of demons, they're trapped in a room with you 💪

@thereisnosanctuary6184 3 месяца назад

I'm the one who knocks.

@darcymarwick5434 4 месяца назад

I start an IOP tomorrow. Any suggestions on which groups I should consider to fight these demons?

@PulmaFingoPees 3 месяца назад

I overcame BPD by giving up feelings alltogether... now i feel nothing and expect nothing,., I've basically become a Zombie... a living dead organism

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It takes courage to open up about personal struggles.

@moitreegraph9 Месяц назад

I've imagined myself shed my skin ... how did you know

@DrDanielFox Месяц назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@johnhenrymcmahon6878 3 месяца назад

This video is so great 😃! I can completely relate to this. Thank you 🙏 Doc!! JV Johnny ⚾️👟🐺🎥

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@babystudderbox7013 3 месяца назад

I have been diagnosed with bpd since my early 20's and basically ignored it for 15 years everytime i try any dbt methods im just overwhelmed with emotions, it makes it very difficult to make any progress. I desperately want to face it and begin my recovery but im at a loss.

@Alamir9116 3 месяца назад

You have to fight! Don't let this motherf#$@ing disorder win ❤

@rebeckaa2854 4 месяца назад

Not only humans suffer. Elephants and other animals are treated as pure garbage by us humans😥

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@kessaann7782 3 месяца назад

Thank you Dr Fox. This information is very helpful in understanding my internal dialogue and how to manage it.

@DrDanielFox День назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@KyleJolley-pe8fz 2 месяца назад

It feels like I've got an evil twin inside my head. And it feels almost impossible to stop it completely. Draining

@DrDanielFox День назад

I totally understand how you feel. It's tough to deal with those negative thoughts, but remember that you're not alone in this. It’s a journey, and finding ways to cope can make a big difference!

@johnknight9150 4 месяца назад

Wow, that rope thing with the elephants is brutal...

@sarahheld3761 4 месяца назад

Thank you I I love when you explain things the way that you do it makes it understandable for me and trust me I have a big family in the head and it gives me a headache

@ajhproductions2347 4 месяца назад

Yeah, same here. It’s been noisy as hell lately hasn’t it

@Riostunning 3 месяца назад

Thank you for such a great insight ❤

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@Riostunning 3 месяца назад

@@DrDanielFox Thank you, Dr Fox.❤️

@Nevicica 4 месяца назад

Thank you

@RenegadeSolutions 3 месяца назад

Your understanding of the voices in my head blows my mind. I am on Chapter 7 of the BPD Workbook, it deals directly with the family in the head and I am carrying my worksheets around with me and reading them regularly so I can rewire my brain. It's such powerful work. Yes, it's like walking up hill, but the benefits are immediate. I honestly think I can put this into remission. At 59.

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@gg.6633 4 месяца назад

Thank you so so much!!! 😊

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@pribemol 3 месяца назад

Thank you, Dr. Fox!

@freesiasage 4 месяца назад

Again and again I hear "it's a process" or it's not a "one and done" and I feel others think me delusional when I'm glad for progress. But inside I hear them saying, "the life you want isn't for you, so don't get excited. You can't have it. It's not for people like you"

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

That's your BPD and Family in The Head talking. Reisst that, it's a fallacy. You can beat this inner enemy!!

@jspider6185 4 месяца назад

I'm really struggling with doing things differently at the moment. My therapist stepped on an old emotional button and even though we spoke about it being an old reaction and I calmed down in the moment, I'm thinking about it again after the session and becoming upset again. I don't know how he can just say that the thing I'm thinking is an assumption when I'm convinced that it's true.

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

It's tough when our emotions get triggered, especially when we feel strongly about something. Remember, therapy is a process, and it's okay to have these ups and downs.

@jspider6185 4 месяца назад

@@DrDanielFox thanks Dr Fox. It seems like such a mess at the moment and with the intensity I don't know if I can stop myself from making it worse.

@SaarLeestMee 3 месяца назад

Yes thank you. I also started to shower and stuff again thank you

@DrDanielFox 3 месяца назад

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

@LoriDaFuque 4 месяца назад

🏆 Thank you! I cannot believe how far I've come. I never thought I'd ever get to where I don't hate myself. Thank you for your videos over the years. In addition to therapy, effort, and treating co-morbid conditions with medication, I no longer self harm and rarely get the urge to. I have learned to manage those urges, even when they're incredibly strong, and it's in no small part due to watching your videos as part of the process. Thank you.

@DrDanielFox 4 месяца назад

I'm so happy to hear about your progress! Keep up the amazing work!