the fact that someone got a really shitty cut of their robbery money, so they turned in themselves and their friends out of spite is actually the funniest thing to come of this
Happens more than you think. I've seen YT videos where professional criminals say something along the lines of "the smaller the team, the better. The more people, the more likely it is someone is dissatisfied with anything and will sell you out."
To be fair, forcibly moving the Indian section and blaming the Irish for the Chicago Fire is the most authentic American experience you could possibly hope to emulate.
Never have I felt more insulted by a statement I completely agree with. (For the record, I am an American who was literally born on the fourth of July).
@@pdeady3709 I don't know if you're joking, but workers demanding fairer wages and working conditions should not be called communists by their monopoly owning founder and ceo
3:02 wait... Walt Disney had partners working with him named Woody, a cowboy from texas and Buzz, a veteran mechanics engineer. I wonder why this sounds so familiar
Patriotism is not a fault. And it isn't exceptionslism, either. It's possible to be a patriotic Costa Rican, a patriotic French person, a patriotic Algerian... anyone can be patriotic.
@@Leatherargento But this isn't patriotism this is exceptionalism. Patriotism is loving your country, while trying to make it even better. Exceptionalism is blindly proclaiming your country is perfect despite the evidence. I never even implied that people other then Americans cannot be patriots. They can even be national exceptionalists. It has no impact on my actual post.
@@Leatherargentowhen did anyone say patriotism is a fault? Where did you get any of what you said? Your whole comment is out of place here. All they did was point out the irony of having a patriotic theme park where the rides are based on local tragedies.
A lot of these trivia channels just pull up a wikipedia article and read it off verbatim while pretending they're clever & interesting. The little (and big) touches like this really set Defunctland apart in a class of it's own, production and authenticity-wise.
"Freedomland was the bedroom where Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty made Yankee Doodle Dandy." Is my favorite line from this one. I love your writing and presentation style.
"It's up for debate which is more embarrassing, that these people would ruin the reputation and life of an innocent woman to sell a few papers, or that it took three people to fabricate a story in which a cow kicks over a lantern." - Kevin Perjurer
The funny thing is that it has been speculated that the fire was started by meteors that blew up near the ground that also started a forest fire to the south that same day.
When people talk about how easy it was to get a job back in the day its because you could talk and lie your way into a job and there was no easy way to check.
@@RikoJAmado The thing is - privilege is on a scale, not an on/off switch. If your profile picture is you and you live in the US you are a white American - that makes you privileged. Even then, almost anyone who is an American is privileged over people in third world countries. Furthermore - you think, from what Incan tell, that it is easy to be born into high class status, but it is not. People in the 1% can’t live a normal life and pursue their dreams, love who they want, talk about their feelings, or be themselves. They often end up depressed and on prescription drugs that are just as bad, if not worse, than black market drugs. This isn’t an effort to shame you but an effort to ask you to realize that people from most walks of life suffer greatly for just having been born into true circumstances. It’s not fair, or logical, to take the rare exceptions of successful people and argue that they represent a large demographic of humans.
@@ProjectFlashlight612 It takes quite a while for people to find a job these days for various logical reasons; like the fact that big businesses have shut down so many of the small businesses that used to hire workers en masse because they were separated by the industry they were selling in. Hate to say it, but aside from being a jerk you’re also being illogical, which is worse. Try to have some sense and education. It’s a good start.
I don't know how familiar the rest of your audience is with Texas Hold 'Em, but I immediately recognized a bluff in the opening. Sure enough: it's foreshadowing the content of the episode. Nice touch.
“The Indian Village, originally in Old Chicago, was eventually moved to this area as well.” I was not expecting FreedomlandUSA to commit to that level of realism when it came to race relations.
Out of all this, I’m actually most surprised I have 4 subscriber. What the heck are they subscribed to?! I was verified by friends who worked for Google. I had no hand in the process and can’t help anyone else get verified.
True story: during WW2 when German saboteurs were trying to infiltrate American lines in US army uniforms, the American sentries would ask them to "recite the third verse of the American national anthem". If they got it RIGHT, the sentries knew they must be German spies, because almost no actual Americans know the third verse.
AdmiralBonetoPick I know the third verse of the anthem. And I can sing it. (Or at least I’m sure this is the right one) I think the line is “by the dawn’s early light” Edit: I’m wrong. It’s “Who’s broad stripes and bright stars, thru the perilous fight!” Or is it “O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?” (I had the google the lines) Also today I learned that I’ve gotten most of the lyrics wrong my entire life.
@@ravenpotter3 That's the third LINE. The third verse goes: And where is that band who so vauntingly swore That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion, A home and a country, should leave us no more? Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave: And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave, O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave. And, as an American, I've literally never heard this spoken. I looked this shit up on Wikipedia.
"God damn you! This is my circus!" Is something I thought I would never hear walt disney say also being my favorite and funniest quote from him it made me laugh so much I cried tears of joy
Oh _that’s nothing._ When the company was building _The Haunted Mansion,_ one of the head imagineers Rolly Crump was tasked with sending Walt concept art for the characters and portraits, etc. and the next morning Walt told him (I’m paraphrasing a little) “You son-of-a-bitch. I didn’t get one wink of sleep.”
"Ok, hear me out here...911...it was horrible but could be entertaining." "....the hell is wrong with you?..." "...haha...I...uhh...I guess you don't wanna hear my Hitler Death Car Bumper cars?"
@@nathanaelrico3891 "They never have these problems at Apartheid Land down the road do they?" "Um, actually, yes they do." "It's not the government though is it?" "No, that's more of an international issue."
"Freedomland was the bedroom where Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty made Yankee Doodle Dandy" made me burst out laughing for five minutes. If you're not proud of that line, you ought to be.
“Guests would enter Freedomland as millions had: through New York” LOL this script is so amazing. Never knew I would laugh out loud so much while learning
My dad told me he visited this place as a kid and when I learned of this episode, I watched it with him. He was pointing out all the attractions, reminiscing and telling me about the time he lost his mom in the park and he and his dad couldn't find her hours. It was a lot of fun hearing those stories, so thanks for the video!
@@manospondylus According to him, they had gotten to the gondola that ferries people from one end of the park to the other. Grandma had gotten on first, but it was only after she did that they all realized the ride was one way. So she, being prone to panicking, started walking back after she got off, not knowing that my dad and grandpa had gotten on the next car to meet up with her at the end. And it being a time before cellphones, it took a while for everyone to find each other.
Playing Infinite is actually the one of the reasons why I got so invested in Native American history - specifically Wounded Knee and the Battle of Little Bighorn. If anyone is interested in both sides of Little Bighorn (and subsequently Wounded Knee) I’d highly recommend the book _A Terrible Glory_ by James Donovan. It’s such a phenomenal read.
I and my parents were among the first residents of Co-op City in early 1969. I'd heard for years that it was "built on the site of some sort of amusement park called 'Freedomland'"...but I was never able to find any information about it. I moved away from there in 1992...and it took almost 30 years for me to *finally* learn the story. Better late than never, I guess.
My Godmother, who lived in The Bronx took me to Freedomland at least 3 times. I still have fond memories of the Chicago fire attraction, the Wild West themed area and the stagecoach ride. Oh! And the cable car. I was a little scared at first, since I was only in first grade when Freedomland closed, but it became great fun.
I grew up in The Bronx and used to sneak in to Freedomland with my future wife. The fencing by the Hutchinson River wasn't real good and we could get through it. They had really good entertainment. I remember hearing Louis Armstrong and Gerry Mulligan (separately). After the park went out of business we went in and stole lighting fixtures. I don't remember why. We were bad kids.
My dad worked at Freedom Land! He once told me an anecdote about all his friends who worked on the ferry or boat, all of whom bought and conspicuously displayed a paperback book popular that summer called "Ship of Fools." From what he said, everyone who worked there thought it was doomed from Day One.
I love how a joke among college students is that "We don't really need to graduate, employers don't actually ask for a copy of your diploma!" And CV Wood is the epitome of that.
And why write down past experiences when they never call and ask, and if they did they probably wouldn't get any response. The entire resume hiring system was archaic in paper form and even more stupid and difficult in the modern electronic world.
This guy bluffed his way into making several multimillion dollar theme parks, while I can't even talk my way out of a ticket that legitimately was issued by mistake. Life is unfair.
It reminds me of the guy who bluffed his way into buying/being sold the New York Islanders. It's astonishing what some people are able to manage with bravado and the benefit of assumptions.
It was the times honestly you could of of gotten away with so much back then. My grandpa would tell me stories of loosing the cops on car chases back in the 40s
"indian fighting days" you know someone's going to be sensitive, unbiased, and historically accurate when they define a period of time by what race of people you're supposed to imagine yourself physically attacking
Me, a sheltered Brit: "Wow, I'd never heard of any of this stuff, it's fascinating... WAIT, he was the guy who bought London Bridge???" Hearing about that man shaped my idea of The American Way for a good chunk of my childhood. Amazing to get to hear more of his story.
@@mitchellschoenbrun I feel like tower bridge is more famous NOWADAYS, but certainly in the past, London Bridge was incredibly famous in its own right. It had tons of houses and shops on it, thousands of people lived and worked on it, so it was pretty much its own town, its own neighbourhood and community. But yeah these days, a lot of people (even fellow brits) get confused and think tower bridge is London Bridge.
@@duffman18 You are confusing eras here. London Bridge had houses and communities centuries ago in the 1600s. The London Bridge of the 20th century was basically an average bridge with a road and small pedestrian walkways on either side. Tower Bridge(which was basically opened at the start of 20th century) was already a famous landmark at that point.
Hey! I’m not sure if you remember me, but I emailed you ~two years ago asking for advice on a research paper about Disneyland’s effects on Anaheim’s economy/ infrastructure. You directed me towards looking through archives/ newspapers and that really helped kick my paper into the right direction; ended up getting a 98% on the final piece. I’m never early to your uploads, and seeing you made me realize that I never updated you on how it turned out. Anyways, loved your stuff back then and will continue to do so. It’s really exciting to see the production value increase for your work over time. And of course, thanks for helping me out!
@@axelpatrickb.pingol3228 Rapid urbanization and turning a rural town into one of the biggest vacation destinations in the world. However, that success eventually created conflict on whether what's good for Disneyland is actually good for Anaheim's residents.
@@nightflyer3242 My friends and I were talking about how residents currently have a reprieve from the fireworks, and how any residents moving there at this time might not grasp just how loud it will be once the park reopens.
Ah, I've heard about this place. The failed Disneyland of the East. Freedomland USA, very American name. A salute to all theme parks but mostly Freedomland USA. The Bronx no longer has this but they bring the crowds in with the popular and famous Bronx Zoo. And the Joker stairs
"The great Chicago fire was a disaster... today, it's spectacular entertainment!" Wonder what kind of stage show those ghouls would have created after Sept. 11.
@Flekk Bone Gnawer these people don't think that far out. Here and recent "now" is all there will ever be. As fucked as that sounds, more than a hundred years from now... The future generations won't have much of a connection. Just look at how some millennials and zoomers treat things just a few decades ago.
One of my earliest memories is of going to Freedomland. I never knew where it had been until seeing this video . Thank you. I was only 4 years old so the memories are just bits and pieces. I remember having a great time but the only ride I remember was terrifying (for a 4 year old). It was some sort of a fun house ride where walls would seem to fall down just as your funcar would pass. I am guessing it was the earthquake ride in the San Francisco section.
Yeah, that was the SF earthquake ride. I was a similar age, maybe 1-2 years older, buy my memories are still pretty sharp. My Godmother took me several times, and she lived in The Bronx. I always got a kick out of the Chicago fire, but I was scared to death of that cable car (but rode anyway). I discovered very early that I wasn't a Thrill Ride Guy.
Robert Moses was the man who built the highways of New York City including the Belt Parkway, Cross Island Parkway, Long Island Expressway, Van Wyck Expressway, Grand Central Parkway, Brooklyn Queens Expressway, Gowanus Expressway, Cross Bronx Expressway, Major Deegan Expressway and more. He was a villain. He also ran the Triborough Bridge & Tunnel Authority, part of MTA.
He's more of a real-life villain than Eisner could ever hope to be-although depending on what comes of that new lawsuit against Disney alleging that they helped cover up Harvey Weinstein's crimes, Eisner's time in the hot seat might not be over.
I vaguely remember my mom mentioning Freedomland, and I was confused at how they managed to fit a huge ass amusement park in the Bronx. Of course, I forget that the Bronx was a different place in the 60s. The fact that this park was so close to where I live is fascinating. Edit: The attractions in this park are wild. The fact that it failed so spectacularly seems almost like karma. Edit 2: My mom went to both the ‘64 Worlds Fair and Freedomland. But she remembers more about the Worlds Fair if that’s any indication of how interesting Freedomland was.
John Cantatore That’s a good point. I sometimes forget that fact because I grew up near the part that’s densely built up. So it was a good idea, but bad execution.
I also went to both. Actually liked Freedomland a bit better, because you didn't have to wait on long lines forever to get in to the best rides. And you got to do more, whereas at the Fair you mostly just looked at stuff. Although the "Small World" ride at the Fair was kinda great. I'm laughing at what people think of the Freedomland rides. They were really more like the way people go to haunted houses and stuff today. Most of us young kids didn't know there was a Chicago Fire or a San Francisco earthquake, and couldn't relate to it even if we did.
Your editing and storytelling are so top notch. Feels like I’m watching professional Hollywood documentaries when I watch your channel. The way you set up the stories, introduce the characters, use metaphors, absolutely brilliant. Amazing work. You’re one of the best content creators on this platform
@@FeedScrn They both good. They both bad. I like them both. My personal hero of life, mister D.N.A.'s - Dirk Gently's holistic detective agency was well made indeed. My favorite Netflix series. Umbrella academy pwns too. RU-vid is youtube. It's great.
I remember going with my Dad when he transported the stage coaches on his flatbed truck. I was six years old. The place was all mud and lumber at the time.
Given that we know Michael Eisner was present at the 1964 world's fair I'm now extremely curious if he was one of the folks who also went to Freedomland and this would later become an inspiration for Disney's America
Born and raised for over half my life in Queens and I’ve NEVER heard of Freedomland until today. This is one of the craziest rides your channel has taken me on.
I grew up in Jamaica, Queens in the 70s and 80s. lived out in far Rockaway before that when I was still in diapers. Never heard of Freedomland. Of course I know where a Co-op City is. But holy crap! I had no idea what it once was.
Grew up in Astoria in 50s/60s. Visited Freedomland once, was probably about 8 years old. Only thing I remember is Casa Loco. Later went to Lehman College where about half the student body lived in co-op city.
A USA shaped theme park with different sections that are themed based off states and regions actually sounds incredible. Would be cool to have something like that today.
g baker Yeah! That’s a great idea they could wear them at the Democratic National Convention. And at the Republican Convention they can wear T shirts that say: Not my circus, Not my Monkeys.
Rewatching this, is it possible that a contributing factor to attendance failure may also have been a lack of rail access to the park? Plenty in NYC lacked cars, and if they wanted to get to amusements, they’d probably opt for Coney Island, which they could access by rail.
Funny, there was a supposed to be a northern extension of the Pelham Line (the northern portion of the 6 service) to Co-op City planned in part of the 1968 Program for Action. If Freedomland had held on just a little bit longer, we would have seen millions of passengers using the 6 train to Freedomland.
This is like a parody amusement park that would be in a Fallout game. Reminds me of the Familyland episode of American Dad. Excellent work as always from Big Kev.
My mother lived in the Bronx as a child. She remembers her family getting dressed up and heading out to Freedomland, but strangely remembers nothing about the park itself. However, she has vivid memories of the World's Fair. We joke that Walt used his TV show to hypnotize people into forgetting Freedomland. :D
This is fascinating! I wonder what would have happened if Michael Eisner ever researched the rise and fall of this Freedomland in preparation for Disney's America. Amazing video as always Defunctland team! Thank you for being the same great quality during this pandemic
As a Co-op City resident, this was great to watch. I grew up here and my mother always talked about visiting Freedomland when she was young before we moved here; sadly she's passed and her perspective is gone but has provided me with a lot of information that I'm glad to have.
Fun fact, my Grandfather worked at Freedomland as a performer. Pretty sure the Chicago Fire was one of the shows he performed in as one of the firemen. Sadly he is no longer with us, but my Dad has told me stories about him and Freedomland. Freedomland is such an obscure part of theme park history, so I am very thankful that you made an episode about it!
“It was the bedroom where Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty made Yankee Doodle Dandy.” It may not contain anything explicit, but congrats Kevin - that’s the most graphic sentence in the history of Defunctland!
Production value or not you're an amazing storyteller. That opening line about them playing poker followed by the card sequence was genius. Getting your introduction out of the way while setting the scene and preparing us for the kind of story this was. Beautiful, creative and just fun. You do some amazing work.
"We have a limited operating season, so we need to get as many people through the gates-" "We'll only open on weekends." "But-" "WEEKENDS. ONLY." Galaxy-brain managing right there.
what i say: i like to learn about history on RU-vid what i mean: i only care about the history of theme parks/rides that no longer exist and only from Defunctland
I went to Freedomland many times as a kid. My father was a musician working for CBS in New York and did a weekly Dixieland Jazz show broadcast for a time at Freedomland. I do remember the San Francisco Earthquake ride and Casa Loca, the tilted Mexican style house. My brothers and I loved Freedomland.
Grew up in the Bronx and live here now. I was today days old when I learned about Freedomland USA, which once existed where Co-op City is today. Thanks for another excellent episode!
Mad Hatter Shows how little you know. The Liberty Bell is a J.P. Sousa creation. It’s not British at all; it’s 100% American, and it’s about an American icon.
@@cyanmanta Kevin probably used it both because it's a Sousa composition, and because Freedomland and Wood's business dealings were (flying) circuses. Also, the Liberty Bell was cast by the Whitechapel Bell Foundry in London. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberty_Bell
I'm so happy to see someone digging deeper into Freedomland!!! As a proud Bronxite (hence my name), and lifelong patron of Bay Plaza (former cite of Freedomland), I'm excited to find that this story is being told. I've always heard of this place. This was where my father first saw the Boy Wonder perform. He would later be known as the legend, and national treasure, Stevie Wonder. In my childhood, the parking lot for K-Mart was sometimes the stage for carnivals and fairs. They haven't had any of those in nearly 20 years (at least to my knowledge). There are times I wish the Bronx could see something like this again, but alas Co-op City ain't going nowhere. Nevertheless, thank you for this!!
wait i'm sorry when you say bay plaza do you mean where the mall and amc theater are? omg??? edit: oh my god i just got to the part of the video IT'S CO-OP CITY?!?!
I grew up about 40 miles away, and remember fondly visits to Freedomland: mom and dad, even a school field trip. My favorites were the Chicago fire and the SF earthquake.
@@julietterodriguez6078 yup! Bay Plaza is the shopping center, and then there's The Mall at Bay Plaza, which is the indoor mall kinda at the end of Bay Plaza.
"After a grueling journey on the 6 train I have finally reached it. Freedomland USA. And what a sight it truly is. The parking lot alone stretches out far to the horizon in all directions like the vast plains of the heartland. I can only hope that within these grounds I will be able to find my heart's greatest yearning, the promise of America herself: that these goddamn kids might shut up and let me sit on a bench in peace for just five fucking minutes." - Johnny Freedom, 1961
I live near where Freedomland used to be, my grandma used to tell me stories about how you could see it from our building its so weird to think that its all just projects and little outdoor malls now. Theres still a little memorial there that has some old equipment used by the park
I have a brochure and ticket for Freedom land in my scrapbook. I grew up in north Jersey and visited the park a couple of times with school and church groups. I remember the space ship ride and helping to pump water to put out the Chicago fire. Good stuff for a 10 year old. That was a great time and place to grow up in - Freedom Land, Palisades Park, the World's Fair, the Jersey shore attractions, and watching the Mets learn how to play baseball.
@@nateman10 June 19th aka Juneteenth is a day when "something" was abolished (removed, destroyed), so, the irony is the opening date of the park already foreshadowed the closing of it
I love the fact that the park was exactly as ignorantly tasteless as what you would think when you hear about an American park named "Freedomland!" I will admit that it was an interesting park theme though, and pretty well thought out.
It's because of both of those things that I think a modern "freedomland" might honestly be really cool if we actually make it not so tasteless. Like, especially in this world we live in where the American ideal has been deconstructed to such a degree (and a well warranted one at that), I think something that can somehow address all of that while simultaneously recapturing the glory the ideal once had, and in fact perhaps even superseding it, would do wonders. Something that both educates on america's issues, old and new, perhaps even satirizes them, and remains steadfastly patriotic in spite of those things. Or perhaps even BECAUSE of those things, in a sense. It'd be a hard balance to walk for sure, but one that's well worth it in my eyes. That aside, I also just like the idea of a gimmicky microcosm of the US of goddamn A just in general. That just sounds like it could be super fun and wacky.
Pretty much the same opinion that I have. It was tasteless and gross, definitely, but (in contrast to most places on this channel) it was exactly what it set out to be. It was huge, its rides were apparently enjoyable, and guests often came away with a positive impression. It seems like boring, practical issues doomed this one, rather than anything too dramatic.
@@Somerandomjingleberry It is possible, I'm not from the US but there was this one time in school we had to make a whole theater act on our classrooms about the history of Guatemala it went from the act of independence until current day even mentioning the genocide and the population that live in the local dumpyard. Even with those topics it still had an air of patriotism because of the tone in which we spoke our lines
@@Somerandomjingleberry The thing about theme parks is, they are arts and entertainment, not education. Trying to sell this park as education and referring to specific tragedies was a poor decision. There is no reason you can't theme a park after a nation's culture. Look at World Showcase at EPCOT. The problem with America is it has such a strange relationship with culture and history. As a country the US focuses it's culture on divisive social and historical aspects and tries to glorify them, rather than just avoiding them altogether and generating a true national culture based on the things it has to offer (nature, films, music and for god's sake, can't 250 million people develop some better culinary offerings?). It's like if a Spanish themed park had a load of bullfighting lands or a German park based in the first half of the 20th Century. The American ideal is exactly what's wrong with America - it's this self-perception that as a country it is more glorious or entitled than other places. If it was just reeled in a bit it wouldn't be so tasteless or offensive.
Man these are some of the best produced videos on RU-vid. From the personalized intros, to the in depth information and well written script filled with clever little jokes, I always love the videos. So glad I stumbled upon this channel.
I lived a couple of miles from Freedomland from long before it was built. My older brothers flew model airplanes on that land, we called it the dump. It was big flat piece of land with glass and trash in the soil. It borders on Eastchester Creek and we swam in the creek many times, even after Freedomland was built. Me and my future wife once saw Cousin Brucie and the 4 Seasons in that flying saucer. We once spent the night on the rock across the creek. We called that rock Ferry Point. I remember that music played all damn night from the park. Once, after the park closed for the season we were walking across the parking lot and some guards tried to chase us off. This was in October. We ran from the guards toward the river and the guards took their time trying to catch us because they figured we were trapped by the river. We got down in the gully by the river, took off our clothes, rolled them into a ball and swam across the river holding our clothes above our heads. I still remember the look on the guards faces. So, there you have it, some of my Freedomland memories.
I still live here in Co-op and would love a defunctland deep dive-style video of our city’s history. I know this is outside your purview but I was thoroughly entertained and appreciated of this little slice of history from this video. I’ve lived in Co-op city from birth (90s baby) and I still reside here till this day. And I remember vaguely hearing the name Freedomland about 5 years ago or so, which prompted me to click on this video since the name sounded familiar. Up until now it felt like a neat little fun fact that I happened to hear but now it feels like a fully fleshed out, historical archive of a place I’ve called home my whole life. Thank you for the research that you do and creating documentaries of obscure, seemingly trivial, topics that end up being fully immersive/informative. Just subbed 👍🏾
I’m just so astonished how much effort is put into these videos, this channel is how I have gotten into amusement park trivia, thanks for getting me an A on my writing paper on the subject :)
Yesterday my wife, a Filipina, showed me pictures of people in the Philippines standing on the ceiling. It was some kind of upside-down house where people get their pictures taken, and it reminded me of a crazy house I had been to as a kid, and when I looked it up, it was Casa Loca at Freedomland. We went there once, and all I remembered was the Chicago fire, until the video brought back memories of Elsie, the ore buckets, Little Old New York. and more. Thanks for this amazingly well-done video.
Growing up in the NY metro area in the early to mid 60s, I was fortunate enough to have visited Freedomland. Now I can’t wait for an episode on the NY 64-65 Worlds Fair.
Lawyer: "Please state your name and occupation for the jury." "Kevin, creator of the 'Defunctland' web series." Lawyer: "Please state you FULL name." "You don't want me to do that."
