Defunctland: The History of the Nickelodeon Hotel 

I wanna vomit everytime I hear someone say that Paris is the most romantic place in the world. Try again sweetie, the Nick hotel honeymoon suite is far better in every conceivable way.

They missed a huge opportunity not calling it the "Nickelode-inn"

"Are you ready to be lawfully wedded?!" "Aye-aye, Captain!" "I can't heeeear yoooou!" "AYE-AYE, CAPTAIN!!!"

2018: Kevin sarcastically wonders why the Nick Hotel's honeymoon suites didn't last long 2022: Kevin discovers that multiple children were conceived on a Garfield dark ride

Imagine getting your wedding pictures in front of squidward's big ass nose.

*imagine getting married and then getting a wake up call from patrick star*

a kid in 2005 having their own private room with a TV and a playstation was PEAK luxury bro

Fun fact: The time capsule contains not only a video of the ceremony that created it, but the camera that filmed it...not because the camera was viewed as a potentially interesting relic of the time, but because the hosts gave up on getting the tape out of it.

“So honey, where do you want to be married?” “I was thinking the Nick Hotel.”

That hotel looks like it smells like Cheetos and dirty socks

I have a horrific memory of throwing up in our room’s bathroom at this hotel, there was a crazy mural on the walls. Every time I close my eyes the dad from the wild thornberry’s is still grinning at me

I remember going here as a young kid with my family. Probably the most memorable experience was when I showed my small SpongeBob plush to the guy in the SpongeBob costume, and he threw it on the ground and stomped on it thinking it was “plankton in a SpongeBob suit”. My dad found it hilarious but I was mortified 😂

I remember being at the hotel and seeing a dead squirrel in the pool, somebody said it was the real sandy and a bunch of kids started crying

nick stores: too risky an entire resort + hotel: perfect

I stayed at this hotel in 2018 as the result of a booking mixup. It was so bizarre, I had a 3 bedroom suite to myself, and you could still absolutely tell that it used to be the nick hotel even though all the branding was gone. It was like stepping into a grim alternate version of 2004.

I love how you can hear his slow decent into madness while naming the character costumes at the resort

Nothing says "sexy time" like ramming each other while a cut out of a Nick character smiles at you.

we don’t want a hotel, we want glove world

God, imagine the pure potential of the “weirdcore” images you could take at this hotel

I like the joke of Kevin slowly not recognizing the characters during the costume presentation, but immediately recognizing an obscure character at the end

"the parent's room was unthemed" no wonder it shut down.

the only memory i have of this place is when i didn’t eat my strawberries for breakfast, sandy came over and shoved one in my mouth

I am utterly floored by the Ming Ming character costume- it so freakin CUTE. Not two feet away is dead eyes Dora, and yet somehow Nick created the single best character costume I've ever seen! I would totally go up and hug her as an adult, hell I bet teenagers would too!

I- dear God imagine being locked in a windowless room with spongebob just STARING at you

Private parents room. Imagine getting freaky in the nick hotel 💀

Just imagine having your wedding hosted by Spongebob or Timmy Turner instead of a priest.

Can't wait to see the Defunctland on the Star Wars Hotel that lasted, like, a year.

I still crack everytime at the fact that Kevin broke on the "Bubble Guppies" and not Pablo. Like Nickelodeon had so many cool and creative character names, like TMNT, Spongebob Sqaurepants, Paw Patrol, and then there's Pablo. Just Pablo.

“Hey baby where do you wanna have our wedding and honey moon?” *”NICK HOTEL”* *”A G R E E D”*

“Hello, is this room service?” “No, this is Patrick.”

So this one actually had a HAPPY ending! That hotel closed....because they opened BETTER Nickelodeon hotels

"Would have been neat to have stayed here once" I say seconds before images of the rebrand pop up, in which I realized this is exactly where I stayed on my last Orlando trip.

"Dad, why is my sister named Paris?" "Because she was conceived there, son. "Thanks, Dad!" "No problem, Nick Hotel Bedroom!"

Man. imagine getting a wake up call from Zuko. "You have to wake up, huh? That's rough, buddy."

For some reason, the fact that this place at one time had a honeymoon suite is the funniest part. "Where did you guys go for your honeymoon?" "We went to the Nickelodeon Hotel!" "Huh?" "Yeah. When we consummated the marriage... WE MADE SPONGEBOB AND JIMMY NEUTRON WATCH!!"

as someone who's worked hotel housekeeping most of my career, I'm genuinely impressed a resort that busy only sustained run of the mill damage like that. while obviously not ideal, I'm sure the staff were constantly overwhelmed. people rich enough to stay at a place like that are very rarely considerate

The place looked like a blast for children but an absolute nightmare for adults.

Not having a “Krusty krab” restaurant where kids could try the “krabby patty secret formula” was a true disservice to the guests

I'm willing to bet the walk-around Little Bill spent more time at the Nick At Nite lounge than he was supposed to.

The fact that they didn't do much with the original Holiday Inn look besides paint it orange really gives "college needs more dorms so they repurpose a Motel 8" vibes

The kids spa package includes an exclusive dan Schneider foot rub

Imagine trying to call for room service but the voice at the other end just says "No, this is Patrick"

I love how the nick time capsule just wants to sleep but it keeps getting moved

I went towards the end of its days. We stayed in one of the deluxe SpongeBob themed rooms. I have 4 distinct memories. 1) there was a statue of Blue from Blue’s Clues and I took a photo with it even thought it had sitting water that had grown algae 2) we were sold on the “kids club” by being told they had edible slime, it turned out to be applesauce dyed green. 3) there was a competition to be slimed where kids had to pick out their moms’ feet from a lineup 4) someone peed in the pool and we all had to get out

i could have gone my entire life without seeing blue from blues clues doing the dance from gangnam style

I love how he says the parents room is unthemed as if he’s disappointed

god, this is my favorite defunctland vid. while there are plenty of other equally high quality, high effort productions from this channel, no other subject is as intrinsically deranged as a nicktoon hotel with a damn honeymoon suite.

So my family took me here for my first trip to Disney World. I had been begging to stay at this resort because I loved Nickelodeon, so they booked it as another surprise for me. We got there and I instantly felt a little bit eerie, and I don't know why. The pool was closed and I cried because I was so excited to be slimed. There were no character breakfasts, very crappy food, and the toilet didn't even work in our room. So we left and went to the All-Star Music Resort at Disney World and it was SO much better and now whenever we go to disney world we stay at a disney resort. and we also left the nick resort within two hours lol. And the only characters that I saw were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles who were walking around in the GUEST AREA and they looked really creepy.

i'll never forget my intense 12 year old disappointment when the bucket of "slime" at the pool i waited all day to be dumped on me was food-colored water.

I hope to God that they had a plaque saying "We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request."

13:48 shoutout to the people in fish costumes rollerskating with heads they probably barely see out of

For some reason the hotel commercials also aired is South Africa. Probably one of the main factors that made me believe i lived in the USA when i was 5

As a kid I thought this looked like heaven. Now, this looks like a special kind of hell

I went here once and probably my favorite memory was walking up to the spongebob costume guy and saying this “Remember when you went to Shell City and died?” A worker came up and said “Yea I don’t think spongebob remembers that”

Honestly I wonder how much of this was due to Nick's lack of lasting power as a brand, given how much it has tied itself to cable television which has been losing much of its grip on children's activity time over the last decade.

It’s wild. I was part of the Disney College Program in 2016. The company sponsored apartments were right down the road from the Nick Hotel. Our busses to get to and from work (Disney properly traveled right by the hotel’s property. I remember always being intrigued and wanting to visit on a day off of work. It’s surreal to think I was admiring this property from afar quite literally in its final couple of months.

Has horrible nightmare Turns on light *Sees Jimmy Neutron*

Ok but I feel like the rooms looked cheap

i always kind of regretted not being more grateful for my trip to this as an early teen, thanks to my mom's job's connections to the company. i think i convinced myself i was just an ungrateful little brat, but rewatching this brings back powerful memories of the incredible sensory hell that place is for an undiagnosed neurodivergent teen.

I remember going here as a kid for a girl scout trip in like 2009. The general vibe I remember was that the kids room themes were not updated at all... like they still had rugrats/danny phantom/my life as a teenage robot rooms when these shows ended years before. or at least taken out of primetime cable slots for kids, so you could only see it at night. i feel like if your target audience are kids between 5-10 years old, why would they be interested in something that ended when they were like 2-5 you know? and probably haven't seen or remember the shows? also could be that I was a salty 9 year old who didn't get the a:tla themed room lol

The decor of this hotel is like all of the worst decor trends of the early 2000's had an unholy orgy. The strangely proportioned lobby, the faded-crayon wall colours, tacky murals, plastic school chairs, and THOSE BEDSPREADS.

"is this the Nickelodeon hotel suite" " No this is Patrick"

Never in my life would I think I’d see Blue doing the Gangnam Style

I worked at that hotel for like 6 years up until the last day it was nick. Then I went back for a few months after it was holiday Inn and let me tell you when it was nick there was so much wrong with that place that you didn't cover. The staff was honestly the best part but how operations ran was horrible. It was a nightmare if not for my coworkers. I have stories for days about people that worked there that really shouldn't be around children ever.

I love how he was reading the names of the characters that were at the hotel, the same way how a substitute teacher would read the names of the foreign exchange students.

Honestly, I think the whole Nickelodeon theme stuff would work better on a cruise ship than as an actual hotel. Think about everything Nickelodeon Hotel had, then think about it being on a cruise ship. It would work so much better.

As someone who is currently staying here now, I had absolutely no clue this was a Nick hotel! They definitely did a good job covering everything up, because there’s barely any traces of what it once was. The ONLY reason I found out was through Pokémon go. For context: There’s two Pokémon gyms, one dedicated to the Dora statue by the lake and one Boots statue that’s on the other side of the lake. I was so confused and when I saw the pokéstop for the water slides with a faint Timmy Turner at the top, I couldn’t help but look into it. I’ve explored most of the hotel and there are a LOT of things closed. Most sections of the water-slide-big-bucket area are closed off, with what looks like moss growing on the ropes you climb across. The big bucket? It doesn’t fill anymore. I’ve only ever seen it tip once, and that was after they turned back on the water because some kid shat on the slide or smth, but the next day it was never on. Most things at the mall are closed, and if your just wondering on your own, you’ll probably be leaving awkwardly with no particularly interesting things to do. The laser area is completely closed off and the movie area just looks kinda.. miserable. If I’ll be honest. (When I went in there they were playing Bad Guys so good for them 👍🏽) Honestly it’s nice but it’s really- REALLY crowded. So when the water slides close for the 5th time of the day, get ready for tight fit in the pool. Have fun and stay safe you guys!

10:24 The Jimmy Neutron costume head is definitely going to be something found in a dark abandoned room covered in water damage just barely visible in the corner to create the ultimate nightmare fuel

“And Little Bill” *Dies of laughter*

Imagine if Gordon Ramsey came here in his Hotel Hell series

11:43 i really saw a costume of the toddler show blue's clues character blue gangam style

i remember almost staying at the hotel circa 2015 and the age was definitely showing. When we walked into the room everything already looked and felt run down, and when my parents checked the beds they found bed bugs in them. we had to stay at a different, cheaper, but somehow less run down hotel pretty far from the theme parks and my dad spent the entire week fighting on the phone trying to get a refund.

Nickelodeon afraid of being corporate that is the funniest thing I have heard all day

"...but decided against it due to their constant fear of failure" Wow I didn't know Nickelodeon was so relatable

I stayed at the Nickelodeon Hotel when I was younger. I remember all the kids gathering around the huge water park & we all waited to get slimed. It was dark out & I heard a lot of parents telling the other kids to hurry up so they could go to bed. Everybody kept chanting "we want slime! we want slime!", until finally, the huge bucket of green dyed water tipped over & we all got "slimed". I also remember going to the man-made lake behind the hotel with my older brother. He wanted to know what it looked like back there & we both sneaked out of our room & walked around the lake, which seemed more like a giant mud pit. I'd give anything to go back to those days when the hotel was around, I had a ton of fun.

This resort always lowkey creeped me tf out as a kid. I remember we stayed in it once and only once. We literally never did anything there, just used it as a place to sleep until the next day at Disney

For characters like Danny phantom and Aang why didn’t they have normal people in costume like most Disney characters?? That way they could actually talk and interact with fans and would actually look cool instead of terrifying

I love he gets more and more confused at all of the costumes, and then he just calmly says "...and Little Bill."

Man, it's so weird seeing how Avatar was promoted with the other Nicktoons at the hotel. It feels like it's on a whole different level than Fairly Odd Parents and Spongebob, but there's Aang right next to Cosmo and Wanda.

I can confirm that the exact same Blue costume and the TMNT costumes are currently being reused at Nickelodeon Universe in NJ

90’s anti-corperate Nickelodeon is so different to how corporate Nickelodeon is now.

The fact that they had an adults only love room implies that they fully expected adults (with no children) to show up to a kids' themed resort just to boink each other. I don't know what's more terrifying, that or the fact that at least one of those rooms has definitely fulfilled their intended use at least once

Had to come back upon hearing the good news. Nickelodeon's moving back to Orlando with another hotel.

I'm from Brazil and I remember going to this hotel in 2011 when I was only 8 years old, it was one of the happiest moments of my life because I saw all those characters walking around, the water rides, the slime bucket and the 4D cinema, all the things unheard of for me. Such a shame they failed to maximize providing a quality service which is not difficult. But it was good while it lasted and I can confirm!

If 'The Shining' is ever remade, I want it to take place at a Nickelodeon Hotel, and all the ghosts are replaced by mascot characters, one of whom must be Jimmy Neutron.

Hotels are dirty enough, now imagine a hotel overrun with little kids.

Considering the channel, I expected this hotel to be absolutely abysmal, but it actually seems like they put a lot of effort into it! the shows and activities that are like the Nick game shows, the theatre and entertainment shows, the amount of characters, the designs, the amount of stuff you could do while staying in the hotel...like if they did this in a half-assed way it would be understandable and deserved that it didn't work out, but it seems like they genuinely tried here. Your summary of 'it didn't NOT work' was pretty apt.

I remember going to this hotel as a kid around 12 years old. My parents paid extra for the SpongeBob themed room. I got sick immediately but powered through the sickness and played on the water park and in the arcade. I had a blast. RIP nick hotel ❤

Feels like there's a missed opportunity for the employees. Imagine if the employees got to act like Squidward & verbally say how much they despised the guests & they could get away with it by saying they were staying in character?

10:10 so no one’s going to mention how Patrick fricken *YEETS* the menu off the table?

I think I've watched this video about 6 times now since it's release lol its an oddly comforting one to watch🤣🤣 Happy News Years everyone!

I want a shirt that says "I was conceived at Nick Hotel"

Nick in the 90’s: We don’t want to put too much marketing so we can appear as something for kids, by kids. Nick now: We redesigned our logo so it can look good on a business card

I love how as soon as he gets into zoomer characters he reacts with utter confusion but immediately regains his footing on sight of little bill.

I remember staying here when I was maybe... 10? My mom, two siblings, and grandmother all came with. I remember my brother standing under the slime bucket for hours. He just kept waiting for the thing to dump on him over and over again. We did the character breakfast and I have a picture of myself hugging Dora the Explorer. It was a wonderful experience for a child, but honestly I think my brother and I were the only ones who had any fun. I'd be curious to stay at one of their new low-key hotels, or go back to that holiday inn and get a flood of nostalgia.

Seeing the specific power ranger suits was a “oh, this is going to have stuck around way longer than I expected” moment. I expected it was going to last a couple years or something. I remember seeing ads for it as a kid but not for long…

i remember being a kid and desperately wanting to go to the nick hotel. i was so upset when my grandma took me to disney instead, in hindsight that was the best thing she ever did for me

I love Kevin's growing confusion over the newer characters in that costume run down (The... Bubble... Guppies?)

9:12 Even Walt Disney looks kinda speechless at those creepy AF costumes. He's like: The hell was I smoking when I approved this? 10:10 Patrick knocks over a menu and a bottle of ketchup. LOL.

i stayed there months before closing, it was so… surreal? 😭 the costumes weee terrifying and the waterpark was insane. they even had a dance challenge and whoever won got slimed (best believe i won)