I think it's interesting what he says about depression being a kind of fire, because David Foster Wallace, in his novel Infinite Jest, said something very similar. He was actually talking about suicide and how it can be very much like being stuck in a burning building and deciding to jump, knowing that you're going to die anyway. It isn't that you want to die, but that you're absolutely terrified about what's going to happen if you stay in that burning building. Depression is very similar.
To recommend other poets, Sarah Kay and Neil Hilborn. Sarah Kay actually did a TED Talks about writing poetry, she's a very intelligent person. And Neil Hilborn is a poetic genius. He did this one spoken word performance of his piece called OCD, it recently went viral on the internet. If you check him out, please let that be your first impression. I agree with not being able to find much diversity, too. Diversity is being pushed so often that it's become the norm.
"Knight in shattered armor" is my favorite line in this entire thing. It really... it strikes the soul in a way I wouldn't have expected. Thank you for your talent.
And on a more positive note, thank you Taylor for this beautiful poem. It's touched me deeply to hear an "outsider" speak so honestly and emotionally about depression, and to admit that it is still a mystery to them. For people with clinical depression, hearing "I know how you feel" from people who don't have clinical depression is COMPLETELY unhelpful. This, on the other hand, was. Thank you.
"The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.”
Just Dam. That was some extremely heart felt powerful stuff. I only wish I could write something that powerful. Then I am glad I do not have the reason to have that kind of power and passion.
Ah lovely; I have been psychologically tortured into yet another depressive episode and THIS pops up. It's like they put some razors in my bag and said:'don't do anything rash,now...' Imma skip this but not without saying that depression doesn't always have a reason and I hope those affected get the help they need. As for those who have been tortured into depression: stay strong, whatever happens, don't let them win. And now...a moment for Taylor Mali's arms. Yaaassss
I have a friend, a very close friend, who has depression. She's, I have no better way to say this, very pessimistic as well. Everyone keeps saying, "Hey! Don't worry! Your life is fine! It can only get better," and other useless crap like that. They keep forgetting that she can't accept that. I believe that deep inside, she does know that, but the depression blocks out that understanding. I try to protect her from the fire, because she's my best friend and I love her like a sister. Thank you.
@delohsteve Ah, so you mean a lot of people know what it's like to watch a loved one undergo depression. I've experienced depression myself, have lost a loved one to suicide, and currently have a loved one who might be experiencing clinical depression. It's tough. And despite my experiences, I still can't seem to truly empathize, or figure out what to do for them. But thank you Taylor Mali for putting in words what so many cannot express.
Yeah, I shouldn't have said impossible. I guess what I was trying to get at was: It's different for everybody. For some people, it is nearly impossible for them to do these things without meds; for others, they are able to overcome (and to them I give them my extreme respect). There are different levels, different types, different causes of depression. For me, there are no apparent external causes to my depressive episodes. Luckily, they've been fairly controlled since I sought medical help. :)
Depression, at least CLINICAL depression, is NOT something all humans share. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain that makes functioning in everyday society impossible. We use the term depression to describe sadness and being very down, which is a legitimate thing, and I do think that this kind of psychological/emotional depression can be overcome without the help of meds; but trust me when I say it is something totally different from medical depression, which is a physical illness.
@sluggle As someone who has suffered from depression it's so hard to make people realize what it's like. Two days ago I lost the only friend I'd ever had to her own depression. My boyfriend is logical, doesn't understand the depths that depression can take you. I told him that there were no logical answers to emotional questions, and he wasn't sure what to say. Thank you, for giving me the words I needed.
For everybody wondering, his wife committed suicide by jumping out of a window. that's what he means im guessing. like how someone would rather jump out of a building than burn to death. depression is like burning to death, just slower.
Are you calling electro-convulsive therapy brain washing? I'm not trying to be accusatory or anything, really asking because I couldn't tell. (Its just that my ECT experience has been positive so far, but its not over)
@ohhdoodoo *hugs* I know a couple of asterisks and a few words on a screen can't give real comfort. But if you and I could be in the same space, I'd give you a hug if it would comfort you.
I was thinking the same thing. Truth be told, Taylor Mali reminds me of D. F. W. considerably. Their examination of depression and suicide is very raw. It's honest. I also find they both have a lot of respect for human emotion. People tend to shy away from it, and just want to pretend that they can't feel anything. We label things as "cheesy " or "corny," as if emotional expression is something we need to avoid. Yet these two writers understand the importance of it.
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.” ― David Foster Wallace
That's. . . coming from someone who suffers from depression, that's not the same. A family member dying or a pet dying makes one sad. Everyone shares sadness. Sadness is not Depression, and Depression is not Sadness. They aren't even in the same realm. It's not even talking about "severe depression". It's about the fact that there IS an actual differentiation. Everyone will be incredibly sad at some point in their lives. Most people will never experience depression. And they're lucky.
I have dysthymia, a type of chronic depression. Videos like this, that show that at least one more person will not dismiss or trivialize my illness, make me glad that I decided to live.
It's hard to describe the way this makes me feel. The spoken passion and fire here stirs up my heart in ways few things do. The outside perspective to a person with depression is very striking. I don't know what else to say, so thank you. Thank you for this, the thoughts and emotions it stirs in me. It helps me, in some way, see the point of things again.
WOW! Taylor Mali, I love your poetry. I love your humor and your insights into teaching children, but this, this bit of truth and pain, this poem that made me cry, I think I love most of all. Thank you.
Wow. Thank you so very much, Taylor, and thank you to those who have posted this, and shared it. There aren't good words to tell you how much this short, powerful poem means to me: you have used the words here, in the right combination, so few saying so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope that suffices.
Finally, a normal guy spilling his guts through poetry. I searched for a while and all I could find was this PC and feminism poetry. There's nothing wrong with PC poetry, but just like the PC crowd is always talking about diversity, I want to hear poetry from diverse people. Not just people with a PC liberal agenda (& I'm bisexual by the way, I'm not some homophobic republican). if anyone can recommend other poets like Taylor Mali let me know.
Nicholas Bakunin Shane Koyczan is another good one, his most known piece is To this Day, i suggest you listen to more Taylor Mali, what a teacher makes is also a good one. Also the slam poem OCD(cant remember who its by) is another good one
GONIX, your ignorance is showing. I have suffered atypical and major depression, major depression right now in fact, all my life. I am not sad. I have no use for emotions and they are hard to get at. That's what depression is, apathy, emptiness, really a chemical imbalance. Cognitively, I am healthy, I try to think positively or neutrally, but my body still has the symptoms of major depression. My body knows it is sad.
I have a very dear friend who's close to my heart who is in depression as well... And I keep reassuring her she isn't worthless or she doesn't deserve to die, and she hasn't yet. I decided to show this to her and she just went in tears... and now she is beginning to understand that she really is something :)
***** Ay bro, just an fyi, I'm pretty sure 99% of us would already do that :-/. Idk if you've ever met someone who's depressed but that tends to not work so... But HEY! Thanks for the tip ^^!
TheDestroya94 My son who sadly is only 10 and deals with depression doesn't respond no matter how you try to build him up. When he gets in that depressed mode nothing helps. When he is manic everything is great but the second he gets down again nothing helps. I can love on him anyway a person positively can and it doesn't make a difference so I get exactly what you mean.
Jessica Morelan So sorry to hear that. Only 10? As you may know, my life has changed a lot and I now DO have a child-just over four months old-so I watched this old poem this morning with a newfound sadness, hoping that my son will be spared the lottery of brain chemistry that claims so many.
Taylor Mali Congratulations! Being a parent is the greatest! My son is currently in therapy and we are now looking at having him diagnosed with bipolar, as young as he is all the signs are there. That being said my child is amazing. He is 10 and is entering middle school next year. At 8 we had him psych tested and he spells at a 12th grade level and reads at a 10th grade level. He has been raised with such a respect for women that just last week he was suspended for punching a boy in the face for harassing one of his female friends he has known since kinder. Depression is an ugly thing, my amazing son realizes none of these amazing things about himself even though every day I make sure to tell him how awesome he really is.
Those who have depression, yes it is a fire. But, it is a fire that can be put out. It may spark back up every once in a while or it may smolder, but it can be extinguished. Which is okay because all good things take time. That water I speak of, that blanket of magic which can put it out? Its hope that things what ever they may be will get better and a smile for loving who you are inside and out. How do I know? Well, Ive been there..a year ago, for eight years. Be well.
@dugw15 I can sort of understand where he's coming from. It's not because poetry *has* to rhyme, but because so often poetry that doesn't fails to be poetic at all. It takes the right person to write and deliver such poetry. Taylor Mali was not the first person to do this for me, there were others before, but he does remain one of my favorites.
@ScorpioVampiress Hey thanks! I've heard of Maya Angelou but never given her a good listen. But I shall. And Robert Frost is completely new to me to I look forward to listening.
Sadly this is all too true. But I wouldn't say that you know nothing of either. You know some and hopefully will never have to learn more, though we are all students of fate. -Chimi
Hmmm... For the life of me, I don't get the joke (or at least I don't understand the reason for the laughter) "... She told me that she feels like my first wife, and I, like an idiot, assured her that she was." Anyone able to enlighten me? Regardless, this poem truly is heartbreaking and beautiful. I may have to buy The Whetting Stone (the one by T. Mali, of course). I read a few sample poems from it, and I feel like I need to mourn now.
@ScorpioVampiress who are your other favorite poets? I am just really getting into poetry and would like to other talents like this. Who would you reccomend?
@dugw15 What planet are you from. Why does poetry have to rhyme. Too much rhyme makes a poem sound chilidish and seems like the author is trying to hard.
And thank you for your civil reply :) It's always nice to talk with people of different points of view and find that people are respectful and nice to each other... even on RU-vid the land of trolls.... haha. I appreciate your perspective.
Taylor Mali is an amazing poet. He has his funny and fun poems like "The The Impotence of Proofreading," but he also has the serious and emotionally filled poems like this one. He does an amazing job with both of them.
I cried when I realized what the title meant. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote a poem that started with, "Who's to say that fire doesn't live inside my chest?" He's really right. =[
Hello to the me of 10 years ago. That was a really moving poem you wrote, and I know you think things will always be that way, but I promise: you survive. And things get better. ❤️
Um, reread my comment, nothing's wrong with it, I just don't think it should have a monopoly on spoken word poetry. PC is being forcefully pushed on us from the media and at every major university, & you will often find the people who push diversity, tolerance, and equality the most, are generally very intolerant to anyone who thinks differently than they do. The people who push freedom & PC the most want to take away others' freedom of speech.
"makes functioning in everyday society impossible" - Nothing is impossible. My mate had depression, it was confirmed by her psychologist. She still functions and does the things she does, but it's hard for her to crawl out of the hole. All humans share depression, i.e; family member or friend dies or pet. What you're talking about is a severe case of depression. My mate doesn't take any medications, she goes out there and faces the world. I understand where you're coming from & I respect you.
