I’m 18 weeks pregnant right now and feel SEVERELY DEPRESSED. I always imagined that with pregnancy I would be pampered and loved and just doted on and the father does NONE of that and doesn’t care to say the least. I am in such a dark place and still wear a smile in public like I’m fine and cry my eyes out behind closed doors. Some men go on with their lives and don’t realize what a woman experiences during pregnancy and not realize how much love, care and support a pregnant woman needs. I hate being pregnant right now and I feel so guilty for feeling this way about pregnancy. 😞😢😪 I feel so ALONE
I'm 8months pregnant and in the same position, to make matters worse I'm in broke, depending on a cold men, living in there worst area of the ghetto my environment makes me even more deppresed, I wish I had a am arbotion earlier💔. I sleep two to 4hours feel like shit💔💔💔😢😢😢I haven't killed myself cos i cowar when I think about it
I hear you. No one besides my mom every checks up on me during this pregnancy. It’s sad to have everyone drift away from you when you need them the most..
Thank you for posting this. I’m currently pregnant and have a few things going on in life that’s causing me to feel sad and I can’t seem to pull my self out this dark hole. I cried so much watching your video.
I'm currently going through depression too. Have just learned my ex husband is moving on. I'm 8 months pregnant. I have two other kids from my previous marriage they're ages 9 and 7. I love my baby but I feel inadequate somehow to be her mom. My bf says I need help since he notices my pessimistic attitude and just plain erratic mood swings towards him.
"talk to somebody" sad i don't trust anyone anymore. i tried to open up and said my feelings. i thought that's the best thing i ever did but i'm wrong.
Same here, I try to open up to family and friend but I only get more sad and depress from what they say. They dont understand me or what I'm trying to tell them.
If you don't know anyone you can trust, you could try to go to a psychologist, to a group therapy or simply call/text a distress/line. I have done all of the above and I think the group therapy and distress line are the ones that helped me the most. That doesn't mean it will work for you but I just wanted to put this out here. The first time I called a crisis line, I thought it would be so weird to cry over the phone while talking to a stranger, I thought they would judge me or not be of any help at all, and I felt such a loser for calling, but it probably saved my life (that and my cat, I couldn't leave her alone). I hope you all will find the help you need.
Exactly my situations right now... i open up for the few times to my boyfriend... and he told me that i am not supposed to feel this way in a newly relationship... or he might not be the good person for all of this...
@@socketinpocket I am so sorry you received this response. But this might have to do more with him than with you. Maybe he doesn't know how to respond, or how his response affects you. Maybe he feels overwhelmed by the situation and his reaction is a defense mechanism. No matter what, you still deserve someone to talk to. Is there anybody else in your circles that you can open up to? And there is no way that you "should" be feeling right now. You have the feelings you have, they are legit, your experience is valid. Please let us know here when you find someone with whom you can talk. This person exists and you can find them.
I have an unwanted pregnancy right now, so it’s been a struggle. I appreciate you putting this out there. Women don’t really talk about this…the expectation is to be appreciative and joyful during pregnancy, and that’s just not the case for some. ❤️
Thank you for this video, i feel lost in a dark place, I'm 25weeks pregnant😭 and thinking of doing bad things to myself makes me so guilty for my baby. I just wish I didn't exist. I'm tired of pretending
I am 11 weeks and have the same difficult thoughts and feelings. You're not alone and you have the strength inside you to pull through. Sending you love and light during this dark time xxx
@@ashleighn7482 Thank you love, we can do it. I've been trying not to be very idle, watch interesting things or music or do anything that you like, It makes it better I promise.❤
I hope you are doing much much better now!! Please talk to psychologist if you feel like hurting yourself ever again, even when not pregnant 🤰 in times like that you need to talk to someone close or specialist. They will definitely will help. ❤️
I feel you so much 😢 I’m currently 21 weeks and while I have the best support from my husband and family members and was initially “happy”, I fell into a depressive state after being told I was a disappointment because I chose to build a family before establishing a life in this new country I moved in. I got a job and a month later quit that job because I found out I was pregnant and my first trimester symptoms were too bad I couldn’t even get out of bed nor eat without vomiting. My closest friend whom I thought was one of my biggest support system told me she was happy for my pregnancy but she’s disappointed that I couldn’t establish a new life aka keep the job i got and create my own community in this new country because of my pregnancy. When she told me this I instantly got sad but I kept a positive attitude while we kept talking. It hunts me up to this day the words she told me :(
I don’t really feel sad. But I don’t find joy in anything anymore really.. before pregnancy I went to the gym everyday and rode my horse 3 times a week.. now I don’t even wanna look at my horse and I haven’t been to the gym in forever.. I just don’t care and I don’t wanna do anything but sleep 🤦♀️ I hope this passes. I want to feel normal again..
Hi, i'm in the same boat...i have so much fears and questions...i feel so alone...i thought being pregnant supposed to be a joyous time...i can't explain why im feeling this way...
I’m feeling the same way, I didn’t experience this with any of my other pregnancies so I feel even more guilty, I feel disconnected from everyone and it’s taking a toll on my relationship. I’m trying to stay positive and I plan on seeking help. I pray that anyone feeling this way gets better and if you need someone to talk too I’m here.
I love the video. I struggle with depression outside of being pregnant but now that I’m pregnant it’s even worse. I’ve tried to find support groups & everything & you’re right, no one talks about antepartum depression.
I'm here 11 weeks pregnant with my second child watching you and crying. I can relate 100% and like you I wanted to end my life with my first child. I felt guilty and didn't care about myself but wanted my now 9 year old daughter to survive. YOUR ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE & YOU ARE NOT ALONE! no one is. My depression kept going on for years and even wrote a suicidal note that I took to my first session with a therapist who saved my life. . I started taking SSRIs a few years ago now and changed my life around. I'm pregnant now and completely stopped, raw turkey as they say. It's been tough and that's what brought me here. Thank you for sharing. I hardly comment on videos but when I do it's for a good reason. Keep fighting, don't give up!
I’m 20 weeks pregnant… I would say 2/3 weeks ago the dark clouds came and I’ve felt suffocated ever since. I’ve battled depression my whole life, I thought I was over it and now with my pregnancy it’s back. This is my first child. I want to be healthy for this baby and for myself. All I do is sleep. Forcing myself to eat, just going thru the motions. I have support but I still feel alone. I work nights andits just terrible. My man and I don’t see each other enough because our work schedules are completely opposite. I take things out on him 😞 I talk to God so much but I am thinking I need professional help. Reaching out to someone today once I’m off work. Thank you for this I’m so ready to be free!!
You made me cry while you were saying it’s ok!! You made me feel like you saw through my soul and knew I needed those words.. made me feel like we were talking face to face!!! Thank you so much.... I have never felt soo moved from a video.
Talk to specialist, psychologist just to get everything out of your chest. Or just find someone you don’t know and tell everything. You need to spell out. Talk to the people who give you depression, explain them your feelings and ask them to act the way it would make you feel better or avoid stress. I’m second trimester and I feel like I’m in the stage if being sad all the time and crying. I told everything to my husband, and after I talk, it always feels somehow better. If you don’t have anyone to talk to at all for some reasons please you can talk to me 🙏 don’t keep it in yourself
write it down... once its all out on a paper you will feel so much light inside and then just get rid of the paper. I guess most people now a days feels more lonely even in big joint families.
Thank you so much for this video. I’m 8 weeks and everyone keeps telling me it’s pregnancy emotions but i know something is not right. I’m crying all day! It’s full blown crying spells. I wanted to get pregnant for years and I feel guilty because I’m worried that i don’t want to continue the pregnancy. It’s so scary, emotionally draining, and dark. I hate feeling like this.
This means so much to me. I just got into my 3rd trimester and my depression just seems to be getting worse. This pregnancy was not planned.. my boyfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up before I found out... But have a miscarriage a few years ago i didn't think twice about it.. I waited until my second trimester to even tell anyone cause I felt dumb for getting pregnant by him...... I gave him the opportunity to leave but he chose to stay.. but I feel like that was my mistake.. he has kids already so hes not happy about this at all. I feel like he resents me.. he doesn't ask about appointments... He avoids touching my stomach.. I see videos of guys being so excited and 100% supportive and it makes me cry... I feel completely alone. everything makes me super emotional... Now it's to the point where I can literally sleep all day .. it's hard for me to eat.. I just think I wanted this so bad why am I so miserable... I'm embarrassed... he can leave if he's unhappy but my life changes forever.. and I feel so selfish for saying that..I feel guilty for worrying about my independence being taken away... I told him I was depressed and he told me to go outside and get some sun.. but he has no idea how hard it is for me to leave the house... I've dealt with depression my whole life... And for some reason me being pregnant has brought back a lot of childhood trama.. it's to hard for me to open up to anyone.. I always tell myself other people out there have had It so much worse why am I complaining. Today was the first time I looked into anything like this and I'm thankful for finding your video and reading your comments. It's a bit of a relief to know I'm not going crazy and other people feel this way too
Hey Beamer, I have been feeling depressed for the past month and it really hasn’t been easy. I’m currently pregnant and it’s scary to think that I’m not happy and I’m not enjoying every moment. I honestly feel guilty, because so many women can’t have children. I feel like it started because I’m only a sophomore in college and I feel like life is moving so fast and I can’t control anything that’s going on anymore. It’s a lot. Anyway, thanks for making this video, it really helped ❤️
Hi I was just wondering how you are doing now because I feel the exact same way like I dont have anyone who actually believes it or that it will go away when the baby comes.
I’m very depressed with my pregnancy and tonight well this morning... I am telling myself the truth that I am. I’m scared and I’m stressed my body feels different from a few weeks ago I feel like I’m failing my pregnancy! God I don’t want to lose my baby I would feel like it’s all my fault . I haven’t taken my medicine ( like my prenatals) I’m just messing up I really need guidance
6 months pregnant as well. I thought these feelings would get better, but without the right support it’s been so hard. I feel guilty for my baby and I want to be a strong mom for her. It’s just so hard.
Thank you so much for sharing so honestly and openly Beamer, I'm so sorry you went through this. I'm currently training as a midwife (which I realise in the UK is quite different to in the US) and I'm already seeing how antepartum depression is so rarely talked about despite being a huge issue and horrible thing to experience during a pregnancy, so it's so brave of you to put your story out there. So glad you have Hattie now! 💜
oh my word! are you from the UK? I have such respect for midwifes, and am deeply considering having one for my next pregnancy (God willing). Thank you for your comment, you're 100% right, antepartum depression is never talked about...its so sad. You are doing women and children such a service by becoming a midwife. In my opinion their is no greater way to serve a woman then through pregnancy and birth.
I’m sure it took a lot for you to make this video. I continue to blame myself for my depression during pregnancy. I thought I was alone. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for making this video. Very validating. I had hyperemesis in the first trimester too and for me that’s when the depression started. We have a high priest who is able to sympathize ❤️
You already know Jesus loves you but I love you for this video. I am dealing with this right now with my husband in Korea and no family, friend or acquaintances. At night alone gets terrifying.
4:02 If someone had said this to me years ago it would have been easier. I have MDD and at the beginning of my treatment my family wasn't really supporting me because, as you said, there wasn't a "circumstance". I'm so happy that you asked for help and that now you can see it this way, that life is worth living every second of it. I learned to be strong for myself and to accept help when I need it. Always keep in mind life ahead is bright and full of love. Psalm 94:18-19 ~ ♥
Oh sweet Beamer. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. I've had serve anxiety with some depression since I tried to go to Hope college for the first time.....it's not a fun battle, but somehow it brought me closer to our sweet savior. Your kind words on Instagram throughout my pregnancy made me smile, I often look at those photos and see the comments you left and feel as if I have a life long friend on the other end of the inter web. I pray that you always feel loved and worthy, because you are and always will be.
Thank you for this sweet heartfelt message. I'm so glad you feel a kinship, we are in the same chapter of life writing our own stories. Plus, Hattie and Hadley are destined to be friends, their names are just to sweet next to each other, haha:) Thank you for always taking the time to comment on my videos, it has always meant so much to me, truly.
I also have struggled with PTSD + panic attacks. I'm sure they were minor compared to what you've experienced + I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! I think it's admirable that you are getting through this without medication! I really believe that God will heal you girl! Jesus NEVER said no when someone asked to be healed throughout his entire ministry! You're no exception, beautiful! Continue to lean on Him through this. You're so strong!
I don't think any pain, depression, loss or sorrow is minor! Pain is pain, and we all have different things we have to face in our lives. Thank you for sharing that you have struggled too, thats very brave to share, and I really appreciate it. Your encouraging words and strong sense of hope is refreshing!
Thank you for posting this video. It helped me understand to an extent what my wife is going through while carrying our baby girl and some of the things she’s been feeling. Thank you again!
I had severe depression before I was pregnant. I was raised very religious. My parents are extremely religious, and now I’m having a baby out of wedlock. Life is hard right now.
Thank you for this, I thought I was the only one that felt deep into something while being pregnant.. Especially with constant hospital visits (I have GH) it gets very hard for me to get up in the day... Thank you so much for showing me that I am not alone
Thank you for this I’m pregnant right now and experiencing the same thing right now this is my fourth pregnancy and I’m terrified I have been praying and praying and God had not taken this from me I don’t know you but I love you I can’t tell you how happy I was when you said you got through this with Jesus
I am in the same situation you are in, pregnant with my fourth and in a really dark place too. I feel horrible. This video really made me feel like I am not alone and that I am not crazy or a bad person. I am having a really hard time even talking to anyone or even praying.
@@sincetheninetiess3203 I’ve been doing virtual visits with my counselor for 2 weeks now! I can’t lie it has really really helped me understand why I go through depression so often. I highly recommend speaking to a therapist because it is really relieving to speak to someone who can give you some great advice. Good luck with everything
Beamer! I'm so proud of you for posting this! Depression can be such a horrible experience to endure. Thank you Jesus for leading you to the other side of it! You are such a beautiful human being. I have been so inspired by you from the moment you and your friends came to my high school in East Jordan many years ago to speak to my fellow high school students. When I saw you were making videos on here I was so excited! And your blog about married life was perfect for me entering into my own marriage! I watched all of your videos religiously as you posted them and was loving them so much! You are so loved by other people and by the man who matters most! Thank you for posting videos and for this one also. It's a good reminder none of us are ever alone in whatever we face and that there are people brave and caring enough to share their experience and triumph with people. I'm so looking forward to your videos again! Can't wait to see the ideas you have in store! So glad you are back! Jesus loves you precious woman! 💕
Oh my word, are you talking about Stones? so cool you remember that! I am so grateful my blogs and videos could be a resource for you, and most importantly that you too, know and love Jesus Christ. Do you still live in Michigan? Thank you for taking the time to write such a sweet note, it means more then you know!
Wow Beamer, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Inside and out and sharing and.... You dear sister in Christ, are a blessing.🙏🏼✝️❤️ I lost my precious son Todd to depression on October 9, 2016.... THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! GOD BLESS...
My mum said to get over it, my friends have things going on in there own lives and I feel like the doctor doesn't take me seriously, I'm glad I know it's my hormones... Just want to be happy again even for a little while
im struggling also but I've had a history of depression. i can't even look in the mirror anymore without feeling hatred but don't know why.suicidal thoughts have gotten stronger but to me thats normal but I'm disappointed in myself for not feeling happy for bringing a human into this world.
I have no one to talk. I'm depressed I know but I don't know how to deal with it. I miss my parents so much. I feel alone and lost. I hate to stay with my mother in law. Stressed
I also had this emotions ,i always get angry and depressed whenever my partner go everywhere enjoying his friends ,drinking parts while im at home ,i always think about him what he do with friends while im home im alone ,i just want her presence and whenever he goes on with his friends i cry and think that ,can i go back the time and never get pregnant 😭😢
Hi Beamer! We've missed you! Glad you are feeling better! You're right, depression is a real & very serious thing - I've struggled with it since I was a teenager. I'm so sorry you have had such a rough time! Thank you for sharing your story & Love you!
Marti Boesen thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and for always being such an amazing supporter of my videos. Thank you for sharing with me- you and so many others are so strong for continuing to move forward step by step each and everyday.
I’ve been dealing with depression since my first pregnancy this is my second baby. I have yet to tell my family I’m pregnant I’m almost 2 months on the 4th. I have no clue why I cry at times or I literally feel like turning my wheel while I’m going 80 on the freeway. It’s not a good feeling I pray to god that I can get through this one.
I am 32 weeks pregnant and I just can't deal with this sadness and severe anxiety.. I'm sad that you had to go tru this but now I know I'm not alone with this.. I just want my body back I feel selfish saying it. I don't want to cook, clean or go out anywhere. But I am so home sick...
I think videos like this are so so important. People are always asking me how come I don't seem excited or happy about my pregnancy. But the truth is I really want to be, I want to be that person that takes endless bump pics and can just relax and enjoy the pregnancy. But my fear of my life changing so rapidly and my sense of independence being taken away to become a mummy and possibility of losing a career I love and having to rely on my husband alot more scares me so so much and the fear is becoming greater than the excitement. I feel so annoyed with myself that I can't be happy like I want to be and that everyone thinks I should be.
I just need so much help right now. I’m really in a dark place beyond that! It’s almost costing me my relationship. I do feel guilty for thinking bad thoughts and wanting to end my life. I didn’t know there was a word for what I was feeling. I just feel so alone and so misunderstood. But your video was on point with everything I’m feeling and going through. I don’t know how much more I can take it.
I’m crying every time I’m alone ... the sadness is all the time... all I keep thinking about is the ending of my whole pregnancy... I keep thinking everyday about birth because I know I can’t feel and don’t feel anything
I’m 3 months pregnant. I can totally relate to this. I experience feelings of sadness and feel down and fatigued all the time.I feel bad because I can’t help my husband around the house enough and feel physically exhausted caring for my 2 year old. I’m very distant keeping in contact with friends and family. I need help
It’s awful. It feels worse than when my mom passed. I just want to crumble up and hide or disappear. I feel even worse because I’m pregnant with a baby that we prayed to have. I’m hurting my baby with my depression. I don’t know what to do except pray about it and hope for change
Oh yes, I know how you feel. you are not alone. this is not your fault. You have no control over how your body and brain is handling this pregnancy that you desperately wanted! I encourage you to talk about this mountain of shame and darkness you feel, with your spouse, a doula, your doctor, somebody! talking abut it does not take it away, but being seen and heard while battling hormonal depression saved me. Cling to Jesus, he is the rock, and though he never lifted me from the pits when I cried out to him, he molded me and taught me in my suffering- he suffered WITH me, and FOR me on the cross. Psalm 116 was the only scripture i could read while depressed. It brought me hope. I promise you this exact feeling will not last forever, your hormones WILL change after giving birth. I am praying for you-don't give up, please keep battling, you are not alone.
Beamer's World thank you for the response. Jesus gears my cry and sometimes I wonder if He is tired of me calling upon Him. Last week I prayed and meditated, and from that day my spirits has been lifted. I’m praying to stay in good faith, spirits and joy. It feels so much better than crying, trembling and being so nervous. I’m sure my baby is feeling better too. I was angry with God, I admit. I’m grateful for everything and I’m hopeful for better days ahead. Im going read Psalm now and have a little meditation time again before work. God bless you
Thank you for this video. i have been struggling with terrible anxiety and a little depression for the past few months. a week ago my boyfriend of 2.5 years who i considered the absolute love of my life, left me because he was in love with someone else. i have been struggling with awful depression because of it and im having trouble finding relief. thank you for your uplifting advice. God bless.
You are not alone, you can get through this, day by day, sometimes moment by moment. It's exhausting, but others have fought through, and I believe you can to! I found great comfort in Mother Teresa's story, she spent her entire life serving others, but felt empty, alone, and covered by a dark cloud. Just knowing that a servant of God who was so faithful felt what I was feeling gave me hope, and helped me overcome my shame and reach out for help.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I've been crying for 2 weeks every other hour because I feel exactly this way. It's terrible I don't know how to go on another day..😭😭😭😭😭😭
Beamer: thank you for sharing your story. And for promoting to not feel ashamed to discuss mental health. You are so wonderful. And thank you to God. I stumbled across your channel 2 nights ago. Christian youtubers who are posting currently are pretty hard to find And I got really excited when I found you. Then I realized You stopped posting and I wished you'd start up again. And look what happened. We both know who that was who made it happen. Lots of love, I hope to watch more soon. -Jasmine ps- I am struggling too. But I am definitely NOT alone ❤️
Oh my word, what impeccable timing! I am grateful to have a viewer like yourself, and appreciate you taking the time to tell me this. You are not alone, and you have the support of sisters who have walked journeys similar to yours. Your words have encouraged me, thank you!
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹i am also so done with everything with unsupported family and husband just a fake care n love because the baby is growing inside and getting depressed and crying alone no one is there to console you 😢😢😢😢god this phase is so difficult 😢😢😢😢
My current situation is same, I'm 18 week pregnant and nobody with me even my parents..I have no word how i describe it.. I crying every time... very dark time for me for anyone when....
I feel like I’ve been talking about it so much because it feels intrusive and I don’t want to overwhelm people , I just feel like if I don’t talk about it I’m just going to get really really bad and it scares me.
I’m dealing with the same thing. So much is going on and I want to talk to someone but I’m afraid of overwhelming my family. Writing in my journal has helped tremendously. I pray you’re able to release and gain the light that you deserve
I feel like we are living the same life, except I am not pregnant haha you are amazing and so so so encouraging. Thank you so much! God bless you and your family. I thank God I found your videos because I don't think I would have had the courage to do many of the things that I have if it weren't for you. 💕
You beautiful soul, you. Thank you so much for being brave and making this video. My anxiety & depression isn't as severe, but it's definitely still a struggle nonetheless. And because it's more mild, I feel like it often gets brushed aside by other people and makes me feel really lonely. So I appreciate your reminder that we aren't alone, and that there are people out there that can empathize even when some don't. You're awesome, Beamer --glad you're back :)
Depression is so so lonely, even people who love you can't crawl in bed and experience what you're experiencing, they can only hold you and watch over you. "Mild" or not, it's still a battle, keep fighting.
I’m 22 weeks and I been dealing with depression and it’s like every since I got pregnant I been so depressed ,I’ve been having anxiety attacks but I been hiding to every one like I’m okay I got this when really I don’t I feel so horrible about myself n I feel like nobody care about me …. It’s so hard to explain
I feel so depressed and I’m 18 weeks pregnant. I feel like I won’t make a great mom and I wish I didn’t get pregnant at all. I feel so ALONE 😭😭I am so tired and exhausted
If your doctor or other medical professional are not listening to you, they are not doing their job properly. Try to find another professional, or make them listen. Can a partner/family member/friend go with you to the appointments and be your advocate? Or maybe a women center or something of the sort in your area can help you? I am struggling too and although I am really sad that you are feeling this way and going through this, I feel better knowing that I am not the only one with this and that I am not crazy. Pregnancy is hard!
Thank you for this I am currently 10 weeks Preg and the depression and negative thoughts are sooooo bad and I feel so guilty about not being excited about the baby
