@@johnfisher8401 Emphasis on men because it's very different for us. Unlike us, women have the luxury to comfortably express their true emotions without being criticised or made a mockery out of by society - a fate which one too many men face. Additionally, throughout their lives majority of them receive constant help, protection and reassurance by others along with However, Ever since young it's been hammered into us to suppress emotions and face tough situations independently of others which simply leads to a lot of men bottling up their true feelings, hiding themselves behind a mask to seem as if all is well and fine. After all there is a reason as to why male suicide rates are so much higher than female suicide rates. Of course there is no doubt that we all need some form of healing, but life doesn't treat men and women the same unfortunately and a lot of men don't have the privilege to express their situations and receive the same love, kindness and support that women receive.
Somebody has to mention how beautiful this shot is! How stable it is, the angle, the warm light inside the car and of course the quality of the audio! Nice one! Great job!
@@haam7831 guess I should have asked google first rather than dip into the comment section As to how he rigged his camera on his hood for a steady shot, I’ve got my answer. 👍 🙂🎥
"Getting in touch with your feelings is a little feminine, but once you do that work, when you get on the other side of it the divine masculine that emerges from that, has so much more depth and so much more substance then the masculinity you were trying to force before that " Well said brother, i wish more men understood this.
Getting in touch with your feelings, whatever that means, I assume just being aware of yourself and what's underlying your behavior, doesn't make sense to be defined as anything masculien OR feminine at all. It's a state of consciousness and soul searching Imo - Good for anyone, and a tool to be better than who you already are, at least if you manage to address your shortcomings by making impactful change.
Regardless of your beliefs, I think that everyone, once they look past their learned biases on the perceived feminine or masculine nature of emotion must admit that 'feelings' exist for a reason. Whether you believe in evolution, or if you're a creationist, we have emotions for a reason, and it is stupid to ignore them. Doesn't mean they should control you, but understanding your feelings cannot possibly be truly either masculine or feminine, because emotion exists in everyone regardless of sex or gender.@@AccountHolder007
Getting in touch with your emotions shouldn't be known as a feminine thing (but it is these days nonetheless). Because why else would emotions exist in men? It's a human thing, not a gender thing, we all have to accept
I think the sacrifice your father made was not in vain. He made you realize those things and become a good man today. Your father didn't run from the consequences of his actions, he just paid the ultimate price, worse than any jail he could be thrown into. He was a good man and may he rest in peace and never be forgotten.
Sex is most mens biggest downfall and can absolutely destroy your life if you do not become conscious with it. Society has normalised porn etc when is literally is destroying and stopping men having a good healthy life. Completely agree. Did a video on my experience just the other day.. good to know more and more men are getting this
Sex is MOST men’s biggest DOWNFALL.. . REALLY? Like you’re being serious, or it is another bs joke? 💀 I have never heard a female say SUCH bullshit YO 😭🤣
So true For example, Men creating this extreme fetish & fixation around certain organ (ie women's chest, which is just an organ like our limbs & head) to get more pleasure is wrong idea Everything is okay unless it's controlled, their should be a balance, but extreme fetish towards an imaginary idea isn't right for one own self Moreover, they have that power to see things the way it is. To see a women normally, but they give it all up because of a mere pleasure. The world is huge, but this what they chose to get their daily dose of 5 seconds of pleasure from
Ted Bundy blamed porn for the evil murders he committed… It’s not the porn, it’s both the genetic nature/predisposition of the man and their environment through childhood. Porn in varying forms has been around since the beginning of time. It’s up to men to recognize their own responsibility for their actions and their own inability to control themselves despite the existence of porn. With the amount of people who watch porn… it’s clear the majority have perfectly normal lives, but a certain percentage can’t handle it… happens with alcohol, caffeine, food… etc.
No , RU-vid and social media is designed to keep you on the app as long as you can be everyday so they continue to make money from your attention you become a slave to your phone and waste your own asset which is time but of course it can be put to good use as well
Everyone's looking for clarity Men we look out for eachother and look to eachother for guidance when we need help. Thats why men who are okay being vulnerable on camera are so amazing because they help everyone. @@Zyl0n_yt
As a woman I want to thank you for being the safe space for men, immensely. You are a highly respectable individual, I hope you make it far in life. To me, you define what a true man is.
@@HeartlessWon506 You think? Personally, from what I've seen from this guy's content he doesn't seem to be cultivating a community of incels. More so a place for men to share their thoughts as well as get advice or reassurance. I'm a woman too. It's good to hear perspectives you're not privy too.
Even cuttin up corn women jave sexualized tjemselves where the problem still persists cause its your problem. Men just being men is not the problen. So dishinewt to be thanking this man as if u like the mental healtg support for men when thr message is convinient to women @@cosmo588
I’m 19 and this video hit me right when I needed it. I’ve been trying to desexualize my brain, and improve my relationships to no avail. I had an unhealthy addiction to pornography for a year but, for the past month I’ve been free of it.
That's amazing brother... you're doing great. Quit while your ahead... it gets way harder to quit if you've been addicted for over a decade like many men are
Keep going, even if you never tell anyone out loud, triumph always feels so satisfying. I am 75 days sober from alcohol, longest I have ever gone in the 15 years of my adult life without drinking and it feels so good to walk passed a beer cooler and not have a voice that says “just 1 drink, no one will know”. I get to be prouder and prouder of myself everyday that goes by since my last drink. I don’t even have to tell anyone to feel good about it and it helps fuel each following day the longer I go. I don’t think I’m ever gonna drink again. I literally have no desire to even have a sip, and boy let me tell you, I used to be one of those drinkers who’d drink everyone under the table and stay up till the sun came up and do it again. Hell I have “I ❤️ BEER” tattood on my leg. I don’t know what I’m gonna cover it up with yet but I deff don’t love it anymore, I don’t like it at all. I know it’s not the same but I feel these could be a decent comparison. Stay strong, at 19 you have many battles to win in your life, this one you will be so glad you beat (no pun intended), the sooner the better. Save that stuff for the ladies ;) you won’t regret it. Godspeed.
I’m 16 years old and I have had an addiction that I have promised to stop over and over and over. I am finally taking genuine action and I will use your life as an example of why I can do better, thanks for sharing your personal experiences and shining a light on those in the dark.
@@inderjeethkangaloo9112 hope you succeed brother, i am about 20 days clean from P, so I haven't watched it at all this year. It took me 5 years, I started when I was like 13., but I am finally trying to fight my urges. never get discouraged, no matter how many times you relapse. I hope we all achieve our goals. I'm 18 btw
FInd a purpose in life. Make that purpose and addiction. Yes you heard it right. You can only leave an addiction by doing another. You have to replace it. You can't resist and stop it. Best of luck
@nathanaeldavid6238 I have been trying to get closer to Jesus, I am religious and I love church, now I just have to better myself and my relationship with Jesus
From a Christian outlook on pornography… the devil wants you to keep everything in the dark and not be vulnerable and talk abt it, but Jesus wants us to shine it in the light and ask others for help. Jesus loves you all and just know if you are fighting the grips of lust and pornography you are not alone. Vulnerability will not make you weak, but instead it will make you become more confident in yourself and strong in your identity!!! ❤
As a 37 year old man who has been grappling with the idea of suicide for years. I needed to hear this. I have 2 sons and 3 daughters and a wife and sometimes I forget how much I mean to the people around me. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life and I am ashamed of having children out of wedlock with 3 different women and not always being able afford things of pay for things. But I know that none of my kids had their mothers around and I am all they have so I have to keep going. Thanks for this
Yo bro keep strong and keep your family in your head everytime those demons creep up. You mean more to your family then they even know. Sometimes as men we are supposed to be unhappy and suffer sometimes so those around us can live fruitful lives and appreciate us. Love you brother❤
Suicide will only make certain the pain gets passed to your children. I would severely focus on overcoming the idea of suicide more than anything if I was in your shoes. The way I see it is if I would’ve committed suicide it would’ve happened already. So suicide isn’t an option for me.
Dude that is alot of responsibility, takes alot of strength to do what you are doing, props to you. I had ideation before as well but nowhere near as much responsibility as you, I realized I deserved to be " happy" and it's been a long journey, not seeking happiness anymore just finding joy in friends and those little moments. Working out helped a lot. I tip my hat to you sir.. being poor is not morally.wrong, luck plays a great deal in life's direction.
Being vulnerable and in touch with your feelings isnt feminine and especially not in the bad way, its just human. You have to understand your feelings in order to be able to control them and not let them control you. As they say understanding your enemy is the best way to defeat them although your emotions arent your enemies they are just a part of you.
I guess what he was trying to say was the norm aspect of the 'feelings' situation. Like how the society views it in the current generation, and obviously it should be changed yea.
@@HiImAk Yes indeed. Alot of people now view feelings as a feminine trait and a feminine trait as something bad, its not bad having feminine traits. Its all because of those stupid red pilled people who think the only way to be a good man is to be dead inside and view women only as child bearers.
This is the kind of content we need on youtube. No flashy transitions, no perfected cuts, just raw thoughts. I one day wish to start a channel like this.
Brother, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this. God bless you. I’ve wrestled with this for over half my life now, and I’m only 28. And everyday for years now I have felt this demon clinging to me, too afraid to look it in the eyes. I’m so grateful that I’m not alone as a man seeing what this has done to us, taking ownership of our choices and moving forward is our primal superpower and one that should be encouraged in all men, growing from adversity. Please continue to spread your message, as will I. Bless you X “Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing.” (Crime & Punishment)
It’s funny u mention that quote; I was actually considering reading the book. May God bless and strengthen us all, brother. Just know you’re not walking this path alone!❤️👊
I wanted to share this to hopefully help others as well, porn and masturbation destroyed my mental health, it made me no longer enjoy the small things and just regular hobbies, I was so addicted to that high level of dopamine that I couldn’t enjoy the simple things and regular activities. If your reading this push thru it and I promise you will see change in your life.
Don't worry brother we will bounce back again with lots of energy and mental stability ✨ Trust the process stop watching porn and stop masturbation nothing is too hard beleive in yourself beleive in God💖 Make more friends Good friends 😊
Yes we should work upon ourselves rather than investing time in porn stuff which is only addiction to dopamine and this dopamine will certainly engage you in these activities continuously to get that hit and then you looses touch with the reality and what's happening in your life you can't able to ccontrol it's an escape...... I'm writing this strongly I don't know why but I'm sure i will work on it to loose my addiction forever.
Good video 👌 I’ve stopped watching porn for around 5 years now. I’m 49. I’ve taught myself to stop looking at young women in admiration, for their beauty, and to act my fkn age. I’ll be dead in my grave when I no longer have the capacity to gain pleasure from the sheer gorgeousness of beautiful women, but it doesn’t mean I have to gawk like a teenager at them now. I think a lot of young men could do well to listen to what you have to say. Porn is bs. It’s actually quite liberating to no longer lust after females like that. Whether that’s on the screen or in the street. All the best.
Glad you aren’t sexualizing poor innocent women & children Brodie! Hope it stays like that, before you do something stupid and end up ofc in jail like the REST.
cinematography is on point 👌 and relating to sexuality is so true, man needs to have a grip on the urges. Meditation, cold showers, gym really helps! Every man struggles with this but only few speak about it. True Self is what we do when we are alone.
I‘m a young woman in her twenties who has struggled with this topic a lot for many years. The addiction came along with suicidal thoughts, anxiety, self-consciousness and a broken body image. As I am Christian I mostly find myself in a better place overall these days though I think mental fights like that never really stop and last a lifetime. You just become a better fighter. I am glad you‘re opening up and share your story. That is very powerful and I‘m confident it’s a help for one or the other. Stay blessed y‘all. :)
Why aren’t more RU-vidrs putting their expensive cameras outside of their car, facing the windshield, and driving out at night like you did?! I was hooked!
I know, it's so weird, but in a good way because you'd expect it to be loud but the audio is from the inside, it's so trippy but really relaxing at the same time
Sexual deviancy has led to me loosing everything in the past. Now, eleven years later, with more to lose, I'm dabbling again. I'm self-aware now, but it's harder than ever to stop. A man can rationalize anything. Thank you for the video.
Thanks for sharing brother, the fact that you're self-aware enough to notice the dabbling starting to creep in speaks volumes... Don't keep it hidden, if you have have any solid guy friends or family to talk with and keep you accountable... do it. Much love
Burn that energy off man. Go workout for 2 hours. Go do anything but that stuff. That will destroy your life been there done that. Burn the energy or it will burn you
@@redrustyhill2who cares? “Oh well the king engages in all kinds of degenerate things so I guess that makes it okay for me to do it as well” are you a child or something?
I can tell that this man has a beautiful soul, I'm wishing him the absolute best and can't wait to see everything he accomplishes with this amazing channel
I've learned that to overcome vices it all starts with being Honest with yourself. Acknowledging and accepting there's something wrong with you. The worst action a man can take is lying and decieving himself.
@TheConsciousMan143 no problem, I've been there many times over to the extent suicide was a constant thought, running from my problems, mistakes and past, and surely fuck ups but I had to be honest with myself, and from there life slowly improving, its a struggle but can't give up on hope
I been battling with suicidal thoughts for 28yrs.. im 33 today. Just had another episode yesterday. Whenever i feel like im alone. I look back when i really was alone in a dark room inside my head. And i heard his voice. I felt his love. Being delivered from prison/intuitions/death i know today the devil hates me so much he attacks me and if not me my family. Being God's annoited is not easy even though ppl think its a cop out. I been so alone my whole life, im just now seeimg im not alone. As i came across another sign qt this moment. Just coming across these comments. We are loved.
"Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing" -August Wilson I couldn't agree more with what was said in this video. Thank you! I look forward to seeing more of your content!
You have my deepest empathy and condolences for the loss of your father. You have my deepest respect and admiration for the courage to make this video.
I’m a woman and it popped out in my recommended I don’t know why, BUT I wanna say that this video has provided so much relief and comfort to me as a woman, because now I know that men with a healthy way of thinking and self-awareness exist in the Internet space. It’s such an important message! As a woman, I constantly feel like men stopped seeing us for what we are - humans with personalities, they are more interested in getting into your panties than your thoughts. I used to work in an all-male team and it was a torture to listen them talking about women exclusively in a sexual way. It’s very sad because I genuinely like men but something very wrong is going on with them as a societal group due to obvious reasons of the endless stream of free porn and datings apps and hookup culture, it’s easy to get distracted and lost and stop seeing what’s important.
It takes a great amount of courage to talk about what you went through. I admire your strength for undertaking this mission. Goodness in the world is currently losing the battle and could use ton more men like you. May God give you all the strength you need to keep doing this work for humanity.
Driving in a car is like looking at the stars or at a campfire, your best thoughts come out while gazing at something continuously, dynamically changing shape. I haven’t seen someone put their camera on their car like this before, it really makes it feel like I’m there with you. I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s passing, and your storytelling brought tears to my eyes. I hope you and your family are doing well.
01:02 🧠 Understanding the potential link between pornography and mental health issues, such as suicide, is essential. 03:07 🚹 Gaining control over one's primal instincts is crucial for men, especially in how they perceive and interact with women. 04:15 📺 The negative impacts of excessive pornography consumption on men's mental health and sexual experiences are highlighted, advocating for breaking free from such practices. 06:24 💔 The speaker's father's suicide led to a deep personal commitment to raise awareness, share experiences, and assist others in their self-improvement journeys. 09:17 🤔 Owning up to mistakes, taking responsibility, and seeking redemption are emphasized as crucial steps in personal growth and self-acceptance.
Hey Man, deeply sorry for your loss. Indeed this oversexualizing of our brain due to pornography is what is decaying our society. It takes real effort and commitment to realize and break free from it. Just keep seeking God's help, hopefully one day he's going to break us all free from this satanic addiction and we will feel attracted for our spouses ❤
Now that I'm on the other side of it all. I've realized how freeing it is to no longer be a slave to that addiction... I want the same for all men. It can be such a hinderance to potential
There aren't even trigger warnings on shows or movies, that you're about to watch a porn scene and it seems they're dropping it more and more by surprise now too, like ill be watching two people talking and one second later theyre all naked and sweaty and its actually embarrassing if the sounds turned up too high.
@@romchompa6858it's even worse when it seems unnecessary. I was watching the dune miniseries on RU-vid and an orgy scene came out of the complete blue. It wasn't pornographic but if it wasn't produced for the sci-fi channel 20 years ago it sure would've been. It's even worse in European countries.
This video was much needed for me I turn 24 and this addiction is stick to myself and my past since I was 15 . Till the age of 20 I was not much concerned about the side effects although I was trying to get out of this loop from so long . This habit ruined my relationship, self confidence and break me to the point where I felt useless and got no self control and self worth. I am really close to control it now nothing new is happening in my emotions I just control the urge to do it. Skipping day over and over makes me a bit proud of myself. I respect your courage and I love the work that you put in your channel. Keep shining brother.❤️
It's almost 7 am on a Saturday. Im finishing up my coffee and I stumbled upon this video and for some reason, I watched and listened to your story. Thank you for the motivation to get up and be a better version of myself.
Just started learning how to rebuild my confidence after I went off to college. The hookup culture at my university is too much for me. I suffered from a porn addiction through high school. The pandemic shutdown ruined me, shut me down, left me with no emotion towards my loved ones. I needed to watch this video. Thank you for your advice and may your father rest in eternal peace. Inshallah, all the men who’ve seen this video will, like myself, use this video to help their journey to recovery🙏
Thank you for doing this. I lost my dad at 16 to a heart attack, stressed out of his mind and not taking care of himself. The split conscience rings so true to me.
“You are loved, you matter, and you have barely scratched the surface of what you are capable of.” - I don’t know you from a can of paint, but thank you. I really really needed to hear that at this time with all that I have been going through this year and you might have just saved my life.
...and I needed this comment brother. Thank you. I really believe those words... It's what I'd say to my younger self if I could. A lot of us men aren't so different from each other. We all need to hear the same truth... Those words are for you... something higher is speaking to you, to me... to all of us. It's fucking real. It's a gift. Keep going
@@TheConsciousMan143 I just turned 25 about 3 months ago and was thinking about unplugging from life the last 2/3 weeks. Ive got too much to live for to give up that easy. When it comes to speaking to tour younger self just know that you are doing exactly what you said your goal was in the video, reaching the men who are a few steps behind you tryna figure it out.
@@misterutensilhey buddy hope you’re doing great. My wife experienced depression during her pregnancy and the way she dealt with it was by reading the Quran a lot, thanks to god she got better and all her depression gone. We named our daughter Yusra which means every hardship there is ease behind it, it’s a verse in the Quran. Hang in there because there’s ease behind every hardship
Thank you so much for starting this conversation! If we talk about this more regularly, we can create a better world for every gender. Mens mental health is often pushed under the rug, and working on it will greatly improve society.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. Really makes me look at life in a different perspective. Finding yourself after all the trauma is a scary step but takes work to work through all of it and at the end it is all worth it ❤
God bless you brother. Thank you for your story, ive been suffering from this addiction since 11 and i had no one to guide me. I broke down and asked God for guidance and ive come across peoples stories and now ive heard yours and its given me the courage to stop for good. I hope God blesses you and you can find peace in him. Thank you brother, God bless🙏
You are seeking brother... it is earnest and it is genuine. God, the divine, your higher self can see your heart and your genuine desire for the good. That means something. Keep going
"Say to the believing men that they restrain their eyes and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Surely, Allah is well aware of what they do." (Holy Qur'an 24:31)- Really appreciate you opening up and sharing this crucial wisdom. As a Muslim man, I'm often reminded of a simple yet difficult commandment of the Qur'an to keep in mind as a defensive tactic against the temptations in society. As men/women when we go out for even a simple stroll if we can practice not gawking and simply keeping our gaze low to the ground it can greatly decrease the risk of flaring up our carnal passions and putting us in harms way.
The courage that it takes to face and talk about these personal stories is huge. I am really thankful that I found your channel, it has been a great source of inspiration since the very beginning. Keep it going☀️
Im amazed how many people argue against me when i talk about how much this sort of thing affects the human mind. Meanwhile just about almost everything is trying to normalize sexualizing everything. So tired of it, happy i am ahead of everyone. I try to hold on to hope that not only I but other men can make a difference
I hear you brother. I think the issue is that a lot of men don’t realize that there’s a lot more to themselves than their primal animalistic nature so they feel like they need to defend it as if it’s their identity … but I’ve found you don’t need to deny, shun, or even reject that side of yourself, but learn to integrate it. To be able to have full control over it, and consciously choose to tap into it when it makes the most sense… make it your servant instead of your master, as opposed to being on autopilot and an unconscious slave to it. I’ve been there.
as a woman it makes me so happy to know someone is out there to help men, i feel like men’s mental health is not talked about enough, it brings me peace to know you are out there trying your best to help men. You are a real man
great timing for this video. Just lost a friend to suicide on friday. He was only 36, he was all tatted up, tough guy on the outside, but like you said, a hurt little boy on the inside.
Your video touched me deeply und totally changed my perspective on (my) fatherhood. Changed my perspective on my father‘s suicide. That you acknowledge it wasn’t the best solution, totally uplifts the value of being a father, fighting for yourself and your family members. You don‘t know, how thankful I am, that you shared your story. Thank you! :)
This video gave me some ideas for something similar to try on my channel, mainly in getting those thoughts out of my head. I used to take long drives every so often when I was younger, but as the financial responsibilities of being an adult began to grow, I drifted away. Having grown up in a home with a chronically depressed mother, a heroin addicted Brother, and a Alcoholic father, I remember those breaks from the chaos of the home giving me the most peace I'd ever had. I remember spending more time at my friends than my own home. The first time I moved out I was 17. Nothing stuck until I was well into my twenties though, and the worst feeling in the world was failing after a year on my own and having to go back to that place. I've been on my own for two years now, and those problems still interfere with my daily life. And I never know when I'll get the call that my brother overdosed and died, or my father died of alcohol poisoning. Yet, I continue to chase a better version of me, because those bad examples will not be my future, they will not be my destiny. My father had maintained his sobriety for nearly a decade, when his mother died he took up the bottle again. He's 70 years old. He once told me, I could never achieve anything because I wasn't academically inclined.(But how could I be, when I was awoken to the sound of him and my brother brawling it out every night?) I'd attend school half asleep, and exhausted from the mental torture of having to hear my own family beat the hell out of each other. It seems those demons only get louder the further away I move. That said, I'm an Engineering student, who's also getting my NREMT certification back after several years of moving around and working blue collar jobs. My Councilor in High-school told me I could not get into any Universities or colleges. Yet, every single application I put in was accepted. This is kind of off topic of the whole desexualization, but alas, I needed to write a portion of that story out on paper. That's my little trauma dump. I appreciate your message, thanks.
Thank you for sharing brother... all you have control/influence over is yourself and your own path. The person you want to become. I'm proud of you for being on that journey. Keep going. Do not stop. You are loved
I have not been doing very well and after trying to still be social, only to drive home early thinking about suicide, I appreciate the words you spoke. They may not completely sink in but I will listen to this video again when I need to hear those words again. Thank you. I wish the best for you and your family.
I ve been on RU-vid for more than 10 years and honestly, recording from outside of a car is a genuine idea. Apart from content, i admire the screen quality. You have a taste brother.
@@TheConsciousMan143 We tried this also for a video, but didnt worked out good. To shaky and unfocused. Which set-up do you use? PS: Love the content :)
Thank you for the amazing authenticity and vulnerability that you are sharing through RU-vid with each and every one of us, Brother! There are so many things in your story I can relate to, and I'm sure almost everyone else watching can, too. Back when I was a teenager trying to figure myself and the world out, I remember very vividly observing my sexual thoughts, judging them and trying to get rid of them. I ended up joining an evangelical church out of my own volition (my parents have never been particularly religious). The aspect of having a community helped me immensely with my personal growth back in the day. However, just as you said, things such as sexuality and porn were never discussed, which once again led me to a lot of internal conflict. I ended up leaving the church after 5-6 years, and that internal conflict definitely led me to a lot of risky behaviors in my 20s. Being in my 30s and having started my self-improvement and self-discovery journey, I'm extremely grateful for what you're sharing on here, as it helps me understand myself and others better. Thank you again Brother!!
Absolutely brother, you are not alone - that desire to grow into your best and highest version of yourself is there for a reason. We're in this together. Thank you for sharing
If this video is being recommended to your feed, you know your vice. You still have time, don't give up. I'm saying this to myself also, don't have 'those' thoughts but will never loose hope. We are gonna make it.
I’m glad the algorithm brought this video to my attention. Really needed to hear this message today. Lost myself this weekend to the addiction I’ve been fighting so hard to abstain from and I felt utter shame upon myself. Thank you for making this video. 🙏🏾
Wow. Thank you for sharing this. I'm 10 months sober from any substance (alcohol was my vice, and I had been drinking since I was 14 on and off due to parties. I'm 28 now. My drinking got terrible and repulsive when I turned 22.) and 7 days clean from PMO. I'm now keeping this rule of not looking at anybody, whether male or female, that comes into my peripheral. I noticed that I would turn so quickly when a woman would come into my peripherals and check her out as she walked away. I would do that while driving and while at the store. A little glance too long built this rationality of watching women, leading to *orn. I'm still aware of my surroundings while driving and at the store, but I take half a second longer to know who's on the side of the road or next to me in the aisle. If it's a woman, I stay put, keep my head straight, and keep driving or going about my business. I learned this from drinking. A one-drink rule or a holiday-only drinking rule led to me binge drinking and my life being a mess. I was not drinking every day, but I was still unhappy. Until I figured there was no balance with this stuff at age 27. I can't still be drinking and want a better life. It's one or the other. I was never fond of black-and-white thinking, but this…I had to pick. Black, down the rabbit hole of misery that drinking puts you in, or white, happy, sober life. Now, I'm applying that to my PMO habit. I'm 28 now and should've been serious with my life long ago, but we're here now. I want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, and I can't do that if I'm hiding all these vices. Here's to being my true, authentic self for the rest of my life.
Your awareness is incredible brother. And that's a great parallel between alcohol and porn... the brain works the same way regardless of the vice you might be struggling with. And 28 is still young - I have no doubt that you will master your vices - The best is yet to come. Proud of you man
غض البصر is an Arabic phrase that means "lowering the gaze." In Islam, it is considered a virtue to غض البصر , especially when it comes to looking at members of the opposite sex who are not mahram, or close relatives. The Quran and the Sunnah, the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, both emphasize the importance of غض البصر. In the Quran, Allah says: قُلْ لِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is fully aware of what they do." (Quran 24:30) In the Sunnah, the Prophet Muhammad said: "The first fire that will be kindled on the Day of Resurrection will be for the eyes that looked at what is forbidden." غض البصر is considered a way to protect oneself from temptation and sin. It is also a way to show respect for others. There are a number of things that Muslims can do to help them غض البصر. One is to be aware of their surroundings and to avoid situations where they may be tempted to look at someone in a way that is not appropriate. Another is to remind themselves of the importance of غض البصر and the consequences of not doing so. Finally, Muslims can pray to Allah for help in controlling their gaze. Here are some tips for غض البصر: Be aware of your surroundings. When you are in a public place, pay attention to where you are looking. Avoid looking at people who are not mahram. Avoid situations where you may be tempted to look at someone in a way that is not appropriate. For example, you may want to avoid sitting next to someone who is attractive or wearing revealing clothing. Remind yourself of the importance of غض البصر. Think about the consequences of not doing so, such as temptation, sin, and disrespect for others. Pray to Allah for help. Allah is the One who can help us control our gaze.
i love how at the beginning he starts with a confrontational yet friendly "hey bro" , trying to single it to the viewer as a more in depth and intimate conversation. But as he moved on he started to use more inclusive terms like 'guys', idk if im talking nonsense but it did feel like it subconsciously made me understand there are more than just me and this dude struggling with our own battles. I do hope everyone overcomes these issues, talks about it and embraces their surroundings. Love you all - random guy
Your father faced challenges that were difficult to navigate, but his journey has left us all with a powerful lesson. You're embodying that resilience and wisdom every step of the way. May you continue to shine brightly, using your experiences to guide not just yourself but others too.
Last weeks have been exhausting for me. Things as loniless and so on have been very present in my life. I just came across your channel after watching this video and I appreciate that you have shun a light on something for a lot of men has been perceived as tabboo. I truly felt like you have touched my soul with this speech. Keep doing what you do.
Coming from someone who used to struggle, thinking there were no ways things could get better, but did eventually grow past it, this will help people. I resonated so much with a lot of the things you said and a while ago when I needed it, it would've helped. I'm grateful I no longer need it but I'm really glad that it seems like men are finally having some of the conversations we need to have with ourselves/each other, thank you.
I couldn’t agree more with your mission. My father took his own life as well, after years of choosing alcohol over his own family. It’s absolutely vital for our youth to have good male role models, I mean just look how far this world has already fallen you know?
This video just appeared on my feed (which btw, is such a beautiful video, and set up). My father committed suicide when I was young, and it was a very similar situation as yours. He saw that was losing control, so he planned it, got everything covered by the life insurance, and one day he just did it... And he gave us very clear signs, but i was too young to connect the dots, or even have a deep talk to him about his feelings.. now after more than 10 years, I catch myself thinking how he had that wounded child inside, who was struggling everyday, trying to control himself, and trying to be loved.. and if i could now, I would go back and give him the biggest hug and be there for him. I just want to thank you for bringing this awareness to people, because not a lot of people talk about.. and it can save lifes and families. Thank you you for opening up about this, and I trully wish you all the success moving forward.
My father took his life a little more than a year ago and the hardest thing for me (still) is thinking about him in the act. I can fully thank Buddhism for helping me through the pain from a spiritual standpoint. It's crazy how a scenario or combination of scenarios can stack up and cause someone to do something to that extent. We as men are not encouraged to speak our minds, and with things like alimony, child support, custody battle, poor physical health, the effect of his partner's mental health issues on his peace, and lack of proper retirement funding after 35+ years of grind that I watched my father unfairly have to go through, I have seen what live can do to you as a traditional man. He wanted to give all he had to everyone and people took advantage. He was at the point where nearly a month prior to the act, he was able to hide it from the entirety of his family as he had already made up his mind. One of the biggest things is that YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE IS TRULY GOING THROUGH and how important it is to treat everyone like they're on your team. No matter what. I wish you the best on your long journey of spiritual recovery so you may flourish.
Divine intervention led me to this video at a difficult time. You are a true human being sir, thank you. I pray you prosper and touch an abundance of those in need of healing as you have my spirit today..
@@lanebo6329 getting here at any specific time is still like wobbling the lottery. Probably a million videos cover this subject and this is among the most hopeful, informative, and validating
My father took his life when I was 5 after sexually abusing my oldest sister. Mother told me it all started with pornography. That was about 19 years ago (24 now) also sometime in November. We were also raised Christiaan & your experience resonates so much with me man. Very few people in this world that I can relate too.
Thank you so much for sharing this.... I don't think people realize how many stories like this are out there. It's easier to just not talk about it because the shame of these situations can be so overwhelming. Seems like human consciousness is evolving and tired of not shining a light on these kinds of situations. Human beings are very capable of both beauty and darkness.... that capacity lies within each and every one of us.. There's so much to learn. Love is also very real.. it's what allows for these kinds of conversations to happen. Sending love your way
With all my heart, thank you for this. This app needs more people like you. I love you, and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. Have peace in knowing you have helped me, if not thousands of others.
I had just stopped watching porn this year. threw it out like trash. Porn addiction real. It destroyed my confidence, my self esteem, my ability to be a man. Thank you for sharing this video bringing this issue to light.
i am 15 years old. Saw porn first time when i was 11. Since then i have been trying to stop but never succeed. I hate my face, my nose especially, i can not study because i only think about how my nose looks like, and my grades have dropped dramatically. My parents think that it's their fault my studyingl is going so bad. I really just want to be confident and stop my addiction. I am scared that if I don't stop I will end up maybe even dying. I can't talk about my problems and I know it is killing me
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I listened to this on the way to work this morning and it set my day in the right direction. Grateful for anyone who shares their story like this.
"I don't care how jacked you are, how many tattoos you have, at the end of the day, most men are wounded little kids on the inside and they're just looking for validation and healing." That is very true. I very much feel that way. It's embarrassing. Because the world has told me that I'm not supposed to be that. That at 27, I'm supposed to be a grown man, financially stable, emotionally stable, physically in my peak condition, independent and ready to provide for a family. But I'm not. I'm not any of those things. And every male figure that I could've looked up to only has words to tell me that put me down. I'm doing it all myself, trying to learn and grow and be better. Not by the world's standards, just by my own. That being that I don't have to be ashamed to show my face anymore, that I don't have to hide my mistakes, genuine mistakes. I did many things that I shouldn't have done simply because I didn't understand. I wish I could go back and undo them, but I can't. And many of them are the only reason I learned how to understand why I shouldn't do that. Unfortunately, we humans are stupid that way, the only way we understand is by making mistakes. And we can avoid the mistakes but that puts a limit on our growth. We'll always be going off what someone else said and never have any knowledge of our own unless we make mistakes and figure it out for ourselves, why things are how they are. At the end of the day, I just want to make the little kid inside of me feel okay. Little kid though he may be, he does way cooler things than the grown up coward of a mask society tells me I should wear. I am not an evil man. I made mistakes. And I hope I can fix them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to. But it's my only hope.
I'm sorry about your dad. Stay strong brother! Your video showed me the right path. I'm 24 years old, it's time for me to get serious and get my shit together. Today, 9th December, 2023. I vow to change myself, get rid of my vices and be the best version of myself.
I think a huge problem in life is that there is a large movement towards hedonism. Things are so much more progressive now and a large focus on yourself has been a trend. It's gotten to a point where people are encouraged to indulge on food, drugs, p0rn, etc. It's gotten to the point huge droves of people arguing that being super fat is still healthy, fap is healthy and important, etc etc. A huge flaw with this new trend of indulgence is a high percentage of people who lack self discipline/self control. Something that I learned from stoicism is the importance of striving toward self control. Full self control sometimes isnt an option for people, but the pursuit of that goal creates strong mental strength and improved clarity. Unfortunately, we all do struggle with some sort of vice, bad habit, or whatever else. It's the way we decide to handle them is what the problem is. We all need to come together to help one another and I respect you for doing it on such a large scale.
I wanna say thank you for my phone listening to my conversations. I needed something like this right now. I feel that I have a problem deep down inside and it is tough to push through that. This makes me feel better.
My dad killed himself when I was 15 I’m very sorry you had to go through this as well, I just turned 29 . Was an alcoholic through it all . Never faced anything head on. Now finally 8 months sober and dealing with myself has been the most difficult thing since losing my dad .. you’ve just gained a subscriber . Thank you
I know a lot of men aren't going to take this the right way, but I think it's important and potentially life changing. One of the best things I ever did (without knowing it) for desexualizing my brain was making a female friend (someone who is not your wife or gf). I met a woman a work and we quickly became fast friends. Within the year she was one of my best friends, aside from my other two buddies and my wife. I'm not saying this is an easy or simple thing, and if you're married your wife will likely have something to say about that. But when you become best friends with a women, like true friends, you see her for just the woman she is - all her hopes, goals, struggles, pain and suffering - you can never look at another woman the same. And you would never think about even allowing your mind to go anywhere sexually, because if you did, you would have to end that friendship (for it would dishonor you, dishonor your wife, dishonor God, and dishonor your friend). And losing a best friend is like losing a part of yourself, so you would never do it.
Life is indeed the most complex tapestry of light and darkness. And it is only in vulnerability that we find healing , strength and redemption through the tough times. Thank you for the raw car chat. Grateful.
man i hope you read this... im 37 now my litle brother suicide when i was 23 and he was 16,now being strugling whit porn for 2 decades,I think im heallyng in this moment of my live but have being hard and still is, your history touch me deep for evident reasons, whish you the best.
My Father committed suicide shortly after I turned 17 as well. it's been 5 years and his death continues to be a looming blight on my mind I grapple with daily. Recognizing and learning from his actions in order to correct my own is the only result I can hope for... but that still doesn't make it any easier. thank you for sharing, it is incredibly brave of you.
Hey, man. This is my first video on your RU-vid channel and what a powerful message. I've gone deep down in the rabbit hole of porn and I felt your message was something else. Thanks so much.
I've been struggling for quite a long time with pornography and this video helped me talk about it with my friends and parents. I don't know if you'll see this but thank you from the bottom of my heart
Bro me too! Opening up is the first step on the journey to recovery. Porn addiction feeds on shame and self-hatred, but once you learn to be vulnerable to the rest of the world, you'll be able to rid yourself of shake and actually tackle your problems face on
as much as the red pill community tries to push the idea of the rock solid man who never lets emotions take over , the true strength is about controlling the emotions not letting them control you. its OK to be vulnerable with people you trust from time to time without being a pick-me crybaby, its called being a human.
Yes! Males can and have been so dam emotional since forever! Simply stop watching 🌽 SO much. Have some self respect as a male, & go and actually make some dam friends.
I've never seen the red pill push this tbh, the red pill pretty much says be vulnerable with your family, friends, but not your woman, which is pretty reasonable to me.
Thanks for the video. I'm sorry that you lost your dad. I'm a woman and I appreciate your insight into your experience and men in general. It's interesting where we find ourselves down the track, due to people's choices and decisions. Hang in there and well done for showing your vulnerability. ❤
Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad your father was able to open up in the way that he did and take responsibility for his actions before his passing, it shows he was a truly good person. For me, desexualizing your brain comes easiest when you focus on morality. I know you place an importance on mental health in this video, which is also important in motivating you, but in my experience I've had the most success through empathy for others and my mental health improves as a byproduct. For example, the sexualization of women does not begin in pornography. While it has decreased in recent years, women have often been sexualized in movies, tv shows, video games, and advertisements. This is often depicted as a major obstacle for women, which it is, but I'd say its just as much of an issue for men even though men often brush the issues with these depictions off. These portrayals of women are the first steps of the objectification of women, which allow us to eventually enjoy intense pornography regularly, and in the worst cases men go on to sexually assault women. Think about the amount of modern porn-addicted men who love video games which have the most revealing, sexualized displays of women. We therefore must be careful with all media we ingest, not just pornography, to ensure we continue seeing other human beings as people with their own emotions, ambitions, and loved ones rather than conquests. Once this mindset is realized sexual urges won't necessarily disappear, as they shouldn't since they're a natural part of humanity, but it'll be a lot more difficult to inappropriately act upon them knowing the tremendous consequences it could have on other people. Even with pornography, once you realize the amount of women in that industry who are trafficked, coerced, and forced by pimps to film it becomes a lot more difficult to enjoy such things. Regardless of the animalistic urges that make you want to watch, that more human side of your brain will have a harder time allowing you to indulge knowing the potential abuse people in that industry are going through. This, along with practicing mindfulness during meditation and exercise, have truly been the secret to success for me.
I am so beyond terrified of the death grip my addiction has on me. I can relate to your dad. Sometimes I do a good job of making sure I exercise and stay as busy as possible so that way I don’t end up spending 3 hours watching porn. But dude it’s so hard to stop.. worse than any drug. I just want to be free.
From my personal experience with this death grip, I needed to find community and see that I was not alone. It's possible to be free, but it cost me my pride. I had to get help and admit I had a problem that I could not fix
...no need to be terrified brother. Just be conscious and aware, and from a place of love take whatever small steps you can to slowly break free... If you have an addiction that's lasted decades then be patient with yourself because i can take years to reprogram yourself back to baseline... every day, every week, aim to reduce the amount that you participate in your vices... even if only slightly. This will compound over time until you are eventually free of it completely. Just don't give up... keep getting back on the horse overtime you fall off no matter how redundant it can seem. Like someone who starts going to the gym and sees little to no results at first.... the small positive incremental progress eventually becomes life changing
@@TheConsciousMan143 I think what gets people is the propaganda that someone can never get back to baseline or that it doesn't exist. A lot of people (me included) started when they were 12 or 13 and so other than childhood they don't know what baseline is. Ngl this is a legitimate problem for me and I still sometimes forget that it's not true. Thanks for telling me what baseline looks like in adults, at least I know what's possible now.
The ruined reputation is near impossible to come back from no matter how much redemption you obtained especially for a man. That's one of the things which truly drives the spirit of suicide. Worrying about the social backlash that comes afterwards, a lot of humans dont even have a mustard seed of forgiveness in their hearts, which is why we have so many issues in the world today.
Yeah well said man... forgiveness for others can only come once you've faced your own inner darkness, and have forgiven yourself. Most people never do this however
@TheConsciousMan143 forgiveness of self is KEY! That I've come to understand now, it all starts within. No matter how bad it is or what you did, you have to forgive yourself, which again starts with being Honest and Truthful with yourself. Hell lie to the world, but NEVER to yourself.
I rarely comment on YT videos but this has been the realest talk I've heard in a while. You worked on yourself and gained enough insights to share a message that not everyone can. I've had a traumatic experience as a child as well, and seeing this content motivates me to share my learnings and my journey and exactly shine awareness to people. Truly beautiful and emotional. I admire you and for sure you gained a follower and I haven't even finished the video yet.
I’m so sorry about your dad. I can’t imagine how much you’ve gone through. You’re incredibly strong to be able to share this with us and I applaud you. I’m currently fighting my own porn addiction and it’s probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Both sides of my family have addiction issues and I guess this is mine. I’m trying to figure out ways to make this easier for myself and I keep finding that there is no easy way. I just have to get through it and continue to strengthen my own mind and be better…