@@zb3185- Who knows? She was a pre-school teacher & no one takes pre-school teachers seriously on this issue. I taught pre-school & there is one girl that I thought would commit heinous, sadistic crimes. She enjoyed hurting people & thinking about hurting people. I saw her about 4 years later & was grateful to see her little brother was still alive. Yet I still think that she is capable of the most heinous acts. I hope she didn't have children. I think she had neurological problems.
Bad genetics, bad environments, lousy parenting. Serious mental issues from day one. The whole thing is a horrible tragedy. Those poor people in the mall.
@@barbieblue3336it’s a fact genetics play a part in how you turn out and behave as an adult. Same with environment but I don’t see you going, “eNvIrOnMeNt?” 😂
My oldest was a horror from age 3 or so. Constantly in trouble for violence, etc. I got him counseling and he did have a short inpatient stay after a particularly violent incident with a broken glass bottle. After kindergarten he got a teacher in a multi age classroom that he would stay with all through elementary school. He ended up in a gifted program and would even stay in from recess to do math. His teacher protected him from standardized tests until fourth grade because he could not read. One day he decided he wanted to read and learned that day. His teenage years were very rocky. He experimented with all kinds of substances. When he turned 18 he left for the Army (he had a choice - enlist or end up in jail). He always knew he was loved. He lost the bullstuff in the Army. Retired from the military and is a fantastic father and a joy to be around. For me the key was always consistency, getting the appropriate help, love, and lots and lots of prayer!!!
You are a gem for sticking thru everything and not giving up! Wow! Encouraging story. Some endings are just not so wrapped up. So glad to hear it can work out sometimes.❤
What was this boy exposed to before age four? Violence, emotional abuse? Violent scenes at home or on television? How does a four year old talk of killing and hurting, stabbing etc. and call themselves an idiot unless they have been exposed to terrible things. A tragedy.
I wondered that as well. After reading through articles and court documents and watching the docu-series, it seems it started when he was pretty young. The show left out a LOT of information. The interviews with his parents were one-sided and made the toddler out to be the bad guy. I was a Sunday school teacher & preschool TA, I saw a lot of troubled kids but only a handful of truly unreachable children (one was later diagnosed a sociopath), they were very different than how Robbie was described.
Dr. Grande, I think I've told you before about an experience I had as staff in inpatient child/adolescent psychiatry. When I was hired the CEO explained most of the kids in here are here because they have parents who fail to set limits on them. One day, we admitted a homicidal 6year old. He was very aggressive, would attack adults, threaten to unalive us with his gerbil. We had to seclude him😢 I was curious as to what caused his behavior, decided to watch closely. In the evening we would help the children call their parents. The phone number listed on his chart was disconnected. He said, "I 😀know where she is!"call this #. When I dialed, Joe's Bar answered. Parent had to get off barstool to answer. I thought that was tragic until visitors day when grandparents show up with a very large "Chucky" doll. We refuse to allow them to give it to him. They protested, "It's his favorite TV show!" That poor boy didn't have a prayer. 😢
@@AnimosityIncarnatedepends on what you mean by coddle. Parents who make their kids "cry it out" without attending to them, are inflicting so much damage that they are not aware of. There's recent studies on this. Babies and very small children do not have the ability to self-regulate. They're literally incapable of it. So you're teaching them. When you have a problem, no one is going to help you. You're on your own. And that really fucks a kid up.
My sister has ODD, it's not something you grow out of but she did get better over the years. She was convinced our dad didn't love us, even though he really did and got us out of an abusive home with our mother and stepfather. We were both neglected by our mother and abused by our stepfather. The disorder can sometimes look like narcissism. They are often argumentative, lack empathy, step on your boundaries, etc.
My girl had ODD, and it was removed as a diagnosis when she turned 11. We did LOTS of treatment though, it ate up my entire life - I couldn't even work for years. Not every parent can do that. So while your sister still has ODD, at least it didn't progress to conduct disorder or ASPD. That was my biggest fear.
@@blackswan1983there now.. already took off work and tons of therapy. Hoping for a handle before his teens. Slow relentless depressing process. Had a cousin S/A ing him bw 3-5 yrs old..this has been my result. I didn't understand what caused the behavior for years
3/23/24 It starts at home. Military Dad then Stepmother too, wonder how much love he was shown or warmth of a loving hug, not for school or institutions to provide or “fix” my child then send him back (was only 4)
@@erikamccarthy1457military Dad doesn’t automatically mean a lack of hugs or expressed love. My Dad was Air Force for 20 years, and my sister (who is on the autism spectrum, has ocd, has developmental delays, and exhibits some oppositional defiant traits) is an absolute Daddy’s Girl. He has always been very involved. Now, to be fair, we also had the benefit of a stay-at-home Mom who homeschooled us so my sister could get the one-on-one attention she needed to help her do well in school. Your hypothesis might well be correct for the particular case in the video; it is only the seeming assumption that a military Dad = lack of expressed love that I object to. It just doesn’t match my sister & my experience, nor that of my Mom (her Dad was also Air Force).
@@tahlia__nerds_out 5/3/24 Happy you had a great experience. Dad & Mom (Stepmom, not bio) both in Military not 1 f/t experience. Two completely different topics.
Just a couple of days ago, a 9-year-old boy went to a pet zoo and killed (strangled) seven rabbits and two guinea pigs. There's so many questions in cases like this, and only sad and/or dissatisfying answers. Horrible throughout. 😒
It’s crazy to see so many people comment and say they’ve never heard of this story. This was a life changing event for us here in Omaha. We can tell you where we were when this happened, I think of this everytime I go into this store, and I still cannot use the bathroom on the third floor because I know people hid in there and some were shot dead in there. This absolutely ROCKED our city. The Van Maur family immediately came to Omaha to offer their support, they’ve placed memorials, and do something special each year on the date of the event. Dr. Grande -Thank you for shedding light and spreading awareness for us. I love your channel soooo much. I
I’m sure many of us saw it when it happened, but because there are so many mass shootings in the country, it’s impossible to remember them all. Thank you NRA!
I remember it happening but can't remember any details like when and who. Sadly, there are just too many mass shooting events for any one to be memorable to those of us fortunate enough to not be closely touched by it.
I saw the documentary about Robbie and he appeared doomed from the start. Candace was wise to leave because I believe he would have killed her while she was asleep. 😮
In most other countries he would've made nationwide headlines and stayed in memory for decades with such a crime. But in the USA... a total of 159 people have been killed and 256 people have been wounded in 83 mass shootings between January 1 and February 29 2024 alone ... incidents like this happen so often that most of them make only local news and you never hear about them until someone decides to make a documentary or a youtube video.
It’s weird that many mass shooters want to be remembered or famous but in their personal lives they were private and introverted and reclusive and disliked anything to do with socializing
My ex who shows NPD & BPD went sideways when I broke up with hi. He weaponized our son, parentifying him and turning him against his twin sister and me. He literally stole the boys Self and ability to feel authentic emotions. Now he’s 15, hurting animals, treating us like his father did, and I don’t know where to turn. I don’t have the resources to place him in a wilderness camp to be around male role models and learn purpose, $ for a great therapist, or trust him alone while I work 40 hrs week. I want to help him. Love him in a way he can begin to feel. My ex destroyed our children’s innocence and bond. What evil. What disgust I feel for him. Our children deserve a chance.
I’m in a similar situation, in terms of being very worried about my son. I’ve tried receiving help from the mental health system; education system; juvenile justice system… Nothing has really helped, and, yes, I have to work…
Depending on age they can be put in a boot camp. Looked into this few years back and it seems to be run by army reserve. They host school, meals, and give the children a job to do. They make it to where there is no time or room for chaotic behavior.
These places are being found out to be very dark. I think the first boy is lost, but they can learn cognitive empathy and to cognitively do the right thing, and the military might be something worth considering. Otherwise, if there is any hope it is the mother's love and protection and belief and his own understanding, that might help, but if he is hurting animals that is a huge concern. However, never sweat in front of a child like this. @@joshuabc2133
Your children need therapy from trained mental health professionals not to be sent to a thinly disguised scams where children are abused by untrained staff.
I mentored and supervised a kindergarten aged boy who had a similar obsession with guns and death. He made violent drawings and was preoccupied with those thoughts. I helped him socialize and enjoy school and do well on assignments. But I knew that whenever I wasn’t with him, he would continue the bad behavior. When kids act like that, there is a serious problem at home possibly combined with pre existing mental illness. I can’t imagine what he’s going to grow up to be like and I don’t want to.
Add poor nutrition, like low, iron and low, omega-3 fatty acids and no behavioral therapy and you have a recipe for disaster. Low iron can manifest as aggression.
Eh, I was similarly deranged and had shit tons of home issues and mental issues but I still turned out relatively normal. I'm not a violent person, even if I struggle with verbal anger, I'm not a bad person with a mean heart, and I aim to be a better person every day. You can't simplify everything to "bad home issues". Evil lies deeper.
To be real, a lot of kids like guns and death and are totally normal, I used to make bloody and gory drawings as a kid of gladiators fighting because of my favourite video game and I never killed anyone in real life, but I got reported to the office a million times for drawings.
@bittytwinz same, played a lot of violent video games, still love guns and I carry, I'm 23 and have not had a violent incident. Some people TRULY are just evil by nature.
I remember how some people described Robbie as "evil and rotten to the core," but to me, it was clear that his parents did a terrible job in taking care of him, and the fact he got so much treatment but couldn't be helped is just tragic.
So, you disagree with Dr. Grande's assessment: Too high a level of narciscism and too psycopathic to treat. If these traits could be better quantified and identified, things like Robbie could be kept away from society permanently, rather than allowing them to fester and grow til violence is pretty much guaranteed...
His ego was too large for his abilities. People who have no talent, no brains, no looks, and no personality need to just accept it and stop wanting to be praised or famous.
so says the parent who didn't get given one of these aberrations. Sure, parenting comes in, but... it's mainly just genetics. Two different children have exactly the same situation. One can resolve it, become a useful highly productive member of society, the other becomes a useless spongeing whining blaming alkie/junkie/never-works. Believe me, I know. If you get one, nothing you can do will stop it happening. (and the kid blames everyone but themselves)
This case reminds me of perpetrator Alec who murdered his childhood friend and his parents in Lancaster Pa. He made a remark to one of his other friends just before the murders: "I hate happy people ". Alec's parents were also divorced during his formative years. We may be underestimating the damage that divorce does to young children. :(
Very bad coping skills and lack of empathy for others, how sad. Can you suggest behavior intervention to mom and dad? Poor boy stands no chance. That’s a thought spot you’re in.@@istateyourname4710
@@istateyourname4710that’s so so so sad. Poor little kid probably has a terrible home life. Little kids naturally struggle with impulse control and defensive lying. It’s just natural. Without loving parents there to guide them & help them learn self control they’re really so lost. Thank God for teachers like you that recognize their troubles and give them love and understanding and someone to connect with so they have the chance to learn the empathy and self worth they don’t get at home. I remember stealing in kindergarten and being a compulsive defensive liar. My home life looked picture perfect on the outside but it was intolerably abusive. I still remember every single elementary school teacher that I had growing up. Only one treated me like I was “bad” but the others gently held me accountable and encouraged me and made me feel so safe and loved. I am positive those early experiences made all the difference in the world to help me grow up to have love and empathy for others
That is such a heartless statement. Teachers are part of the environment students grow up in, so no wonder they ended up in prison with grown ups with that kind of mindset.
This is one of the saddest stories I ever heard 😢💔🙏 This is why we need state run mental hospitals opened back up. Some people just need a safe place to live our their lives... for their own safety and others 😟💔🙏
@@jackiepowell7513I'm not a fan of "libs", but I don't think you can blame liberals for closing down the mental hospitals. That was done by Ronald Reagan, a Republican.
As a former preschool teacher, it’s easy to tell which kids are going to have problems adjusting. True teachers try to help them. If you don’t love them, you should find a different job.
Good caring teachers can make such a difference! I remember the ones that praised my efforts, and how they encouraged me. I never heard praise from my parents.
I was diagnosed with ODD, unspecified mood disorder and ADHD at a very young age according to my medical records and from my own memory I was mentally and physically abused growing up and had just about everything I thought would work out blow up in my face but yet I haven’t and would never do what this pos did to those innocent people, what he went through was no excuse to take their lives, some people are just born tortured.
I'm sorry that you were mistreated. There is no excuse for that. I'm happy for you that you have a strong moral core. Life can be so hard. There is a reason that you have such strength, you will find a way to add a lot of value to the world.❤
I was a resident of Omaha when this incident happened. I still live in this city and I cannot force myself to go to the Von Maur store because of what happened there. It's not that I fear anything would happen if I went back, it's just that I imagine the horrors that happened on that day.
By far the most frightening part of the shooting at the Westroads Mall is the 9-1-1 call placed by Jodi Longmeyer; the Human Resources manager at the Von Maur Department Store. Jodi was extremely frightened as she informed the 9-1-1 operator that she saw Hawkins laying on the floor by customer service after taking his own life.
This was an extremely sad incident in Omaha (I live here too). Several years after it happened, one of the Von Maur employees he had shot and injured talked at our church about the incident as he experienced it, and about forgiveness as a healing tool.
@@susangrande8142 Granting Forgiveness for the perpetrator after having endured such a deliberate act of violence, is a mental game the victim plays against their own human nature. The survival Instinct drives us to fight that which tries to make us suffer or kill us. Play the Forgiveness game is just a mental exercise that works for some people, maybe 1% of the population. The other group that claims forgiveness is still suffering through the pain the perpetrator put upon them.
His parents sound horrible. They couldn't stand to be in the same room together, even when their four-year-old was in the mental hospital? That tells me A LOT about what they put that poor kid through at home. Probably constant screaming arguments and blaming Robbie, as though a four-year-old could be the cause of his parents' inability to be civil to each other. At such a young age to be treated that way is devastating. And then after he was out of the mental hospital, his dad was given custody, even though his dad was obviously one of the two traumatizing influences in his life? Ugh. Epic fail. I don't know if it would've helped, but that kid deserved better. Maybe he should've been put into the system then, or if nothing else, the social workers should've looked into other family members (aunts, uncles, grandparents), because his parents were worthless losers who felt it was okay to project their problems all over a preschooler. I hope they (his parents) blame themselves for all of this. They're definintely not parents of the year.
Something in his parents fighting, led him to believe he was the source of their troubles. It seems he internalized this, and viewed the entire universe through this distorted lens.
Or his parents blamed him. When I was eight years old, my mom used to say to me, "You're manipulative and sadistic. You enjoy upsetting me. You're playing the let's-upset-Mommy-today game and winning." I had a good vocab and knew what she was saying. It had a terrible effect on me. And that doesn't even get into the chaos of my parents' divorce.
@@I_Love_Rainbows510 Sorry for your experience. I was hit with different variations of "You're just like your father, good for nothing" after my parents divorce. They got divorced when i was 6, and it continued for years, whenever she got angry at me. Just like him, you're sneaky. Can't be trusted. Over even the most trivial perceived slights. Really can be emotionally damaging.
My parents divorced before I turned seven. My brother was two. He started abusing drugs when he was a teenager. In the de-addiction centre he wrote, "I didn't know who my mother was when I was a little boy." He cleaned up and took flying lessons. He loved it. But he got back to abusing drugs and died in his early 30s. The only person who he abused verbally was our dad's new wife who he absolutely hated.
100%- I’ve had a 30 year career working with severely disturbed children. All children are self-centred, that’s just where they are developmentally. Unfortunately, this leads them to believe that they are responsible for their parent’s unhappiness. This gets internalized, and they see themselves as inherently bad and unworthy. As the child grows, they continue to seek “proof” of their inherent “badness”, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I was separated from my parents at birth due to medical reasons and didn't see my mom for 2 weeks. Still haven't deliberately hurt someone, nor plan to. Some people are bad seed.
@@blackswan1983 Some people are hurt in different ways and react in different ways. What happened in hospital to an individual child is a factor to consider as well.
@blackswan1983 Until around 7 months old, babies generally don’t care who attends to their needs, as long as they’re cared for. It’s after that point that children become more affected by attachments with particular people.
Thank you Todd for telling the truth. Most people will never admit that some people just can’t be helped. People can’t just say this person just needed psychological support. No matter how much help they’ll receive, they are who they are. Todd had the guts to actually break from the norm and say it.
Yes. I certainly hope Dr. Grande is not in private practice with that attitude. Perhaps the people that were in positions to help this kid felt the same way and here we are. I had a similar upbringing with trauma you wouldn’t even imagine. Just think 15-20x what this kid went through. With the right people in my corner and the help of the Lord, I was saved from a life of hell. For every Robbie there are countless others who made it out of the pits of hell because people believed in them and stepped in to help out. Never give up on people.
@norbertomoran4575 Yeah, but the point OP and Dr. Grande are making is there ARE Robbies out there. There are people who don't want to be helped. There are people who don't want the support system they have or could have. They enjoy being angry. They enjoy hurting other people. And not recognizing that is just as unreasonable as the opinion that no one can change so invest help in no one.
@@GAshoneybear Understood. This kid was clearly traumatized as a young child as his behaviors were exhibited very early on. He’s had so many mental struggles from the beginning that went untreated. If he was developmentally disabled we’d say that he couldn’t help it. But undiagnosed, severe mental illness has similar effect in that the individual can feel helpless to turn their situation around even if they wanted to. What I see is a severely damaged person embracing their invisible disabilities in the worst way. Dr. Grande, if he is a doctor, should be very familiar with such pathologies. Not unlike someone who suffers with severe depression and is suicidal. Maybe they want to live but they’re suffering and see no way out. When I hear of a child at 4 years old banging their head on the wall saying they’re worthless it’s clear to me their psyche and their hearts have been severely damaged. Not child should ever have to go through that. I promise you I’ve seen this from various angles in my own personal experiences and am very familiar with the effects of trauma on children. Whereas you see an adult or teen, in reality there is an unhealed child struggling to function because many things were missed in what should be a normal process of nurturing and growth. It is true that not everyone acts as he did but many are lucky. I was.
@@neilreynolds3858 read through these comments. I’ve seen at least two where people got the help they needed and turn things around. No real human garbage, though it may seem so. I simply feel like this kid likely never had a chance.
What I have noticed in my years as a teacher and parent is that the parents must present to the child a united front. I think that these parents could not do that.
Yeah I am curious if the parents had stayed together, not had any more kids, always had a stay at home parent and really devoted everything to keeping this kid from hurting anyone until 25 when his brain would finish developing if it could be done. It hurts my heart to think that kids really could just be born that bad. I have to believe that there’s something you could do for every child.
As a former Nebraskan, I am glad to hear you cover this story (but sorry about every person involved: the victims, but Robbie, as well). Thanks, as always, Dr. Grande.
Not always but playing it safe yes. There truly have been people that have learned and reformed themselves from crime. Go to any prison and you can see that some people HAVE changed.
PTSD at 4, then rejected by the army for being too violent. The army! They specialise in that sort of stuff and they're "No way man, he's too extreme for warfare". They need a special chute to slide guys down that are rejected, they shouldn't let them walk back out the door into our communities.
I think only about 3% of the population meets the physical, mental and background check requirements to join the military if I remember correctly. If you lie to your recruiters then that's another story
Need to be able to follow orders….antisocial often can’t conform to rules enough but occasionally a few slip in, and a few regrettably thrive there if smart enough
A side note - in the 90s, after a few previous mental illness related incidents - they weren't taking any chances. Combine that with massive budget cuts and base closures, they were using any excuse to kick people out. A friend told a fellow recruit in boot camp that he *used* to be suicidal but he wasn't anymore because he found meaning in life and they gave him a medical discharge due to "depression".
There was a documentary about this case where the stepmom was the star of the show! She really loved Robbie and did everything she could to help him! " Evil lives here" was the show
Yeah I saw that. Soooo disturbing. I do think there was just something he was born with that was different in his brain. I don’t know how the stepmother stayed with him as long as she did.
3/23/24 Coming from a Military stepmother who had a Military husband & child that wasn’t her own, idk how much love he was shown or given. Counseling after divorce or right to institute at age 4, I wonder.
@@DeethehiddengemI dont think he was born that way. I think the damage done in his very early formative years that went unhealed permanently tweaked him. I think if he was adopted at birth to a stable happy family he could have turned out fine.
I also think it did him no favors bouncing him around foster homes and mental facilities at such a young age. He was basically given the message very young that you are broken and yes you are the problem. I had a similar experience at a young age and it messed me up for a long time. All I needed to hear as a kid was it’s ok to be angry, you were wronged by the adults around you and it’s ok to feel hurt and anger over that, it wasn’t right or fair. You are not the problem. But that doesn’t make certain behaviors ok and we’re going to work on that together ok. That alone would have done wonders for my rage problems. Instead I just got yelled at and treated like I was a bad kid who was just being bad out of malicious nastiness instead of very real hurt. Instead he was stuck in a mental hospital at freakn four feeling like yes he is in fact the problem and he is broken and unlovable. I dont see how that could have been helpful for him.
My nephew. He was abusive in subtle ways towards younger children. Not sure of all the details but he had five kids removed from his care. And has another one. I don't think he ever worked a day in his life. Manages to draw welfare... I keep my distance from that side of the family.
My cousin's son.... There's been something off with him since day one, plus she doesn't bother to discipline him so he's forever going to feel entitled. Unfortunately, because his mother and grandmother have coddled the little sh1t, I genuinely fear he will take advantage of women in the future because he's never been told no. We've all met naughty kids, but there is something inherently dark about that boy. I'm not the only one who sees it either, but my cousin couldn't give a sh1t. She'll see it one day, at the cost of someone else.
Sometimes child abuse can damage a developing brain. If he was banging his head saying no one loved him he was probably being abused. I know he was abused as an adult. He is also not here to tell us his side. Do you think the step mother was a loving saint?
a four year old is pretty easy to control. i can’t imagine putting him in a psych ward was helpful. unless he was over 5 feet tall at that age, why could they not reasonably keep him at home. was he disturbed from birth? maybe but that couldn’t have been a helpful stay
@@komodolifeI feel the same way. If you have to institutionalize your child by age 4, you have ABSOLUTELY no place or right to parent a human being. Ever. Don’t give a shit what extenuating circumstances there were. That’s inexcusable.
As do I. It was a horrible shock & just before Christmas. Nothing like this had ever happened here that I know of, & I believe it traumatized the entire city. A terrible loss of some valuable people.
How does a 4 year old slam a teachers head into a door? Was she kneeling? If this kid was this far gone at 4 years old, he should have been put in a hospital and kept there. Cause something is going on at home contributing to it. If it’s not and he was just born this way, then he definitely needs to be put up in a hospital somewhere. They have help for kids on the spectrum, for kids with special needs but they don’t do anything for crazy kids?
I think being sent to a psych ward alone at 4 years old and heavily medicated made his problems a lot worse. It just confirmed to him that he was crazy and bad (and to blame for his parents' divorce and his mother leaving, in his mind), and he learned that drugs make you feel good when you're upset.
Insanely careless ... a violent stepson visits & 60 rounds & a weapon are taken & not noticed !! That mom just kept marrying dangerous nutters ... then pretending she doesn't know where her violent kid "gets it from" 😪😭
1. Guns not being locked up, with keys or access codes withheld from children 2. Mental health concerns being ignored or brushed aside when allowing kids to have access to guns-conservative parents are all too eager to get their kids on their side of the second amendment arguments, after all
There are so many people who’ve had worse upbringing than this and have deranged parents and grow up to be the most compassionate and well-rounded. Evil lies within some and no amount of great parenting or outside help will do much to remove it. It takes a miracle.
Narcissism, early childhood trauma and seemingly no definitive mental health treatment or followup regarding those that age out of the foster system seems to be the path to tragedy...over and over again.
He thought he would be well known for his crime but as I think back to similar situations decades ago I can maybe name one perpetrator. And these incidences are common enough now that most the names will be quickly forgotten.
Strangely, public/school shootings have been around a lot longer than I thought, tho Laurie Dann was 1st school shooter of modern times I recall. Valerie Bertinelli (yeah, Van Helen's ex), plays her in a movie. Forget title, but it was free on Tubi, I think it was. Don't even have to register. She was surprisingly good! In her case, her father and mother basically ignored her. She was "Just Plain Nuts!" (old Far Side cartoon...)
Being related to one of the victims of this- I always thought the main mental healthcare failure was the stepfather leaving his weapon of war where a mentally ill individual could use it. None of the prior treatment failures were irredeemable.
So sorry to hear you lost a loved one. I was thinking this when I heard the accusations the father made about the mother. Access to bombs etc with her, but absolutely no chance of access to guns with the father who is in Service? I haven't heard coverage of the case outside of this video so maybe it was touched on somewhere about weapons in the father's home.
As someone who has struggled with mental illness for all of my life and having people tell me I’m just not doing what they tell me to do, I find it offensive that you state that everything was tried and this child was beyond help. Then you put a price tag on him and imply that he was not worth it. He was so damaged by his parents and then by the mental health system that he reached a point where there was no answer but death. He could have been a success story like some of the comments here if the right person had come into his life to guide him to healing. His story is tremendously sad. I do enjoy watching your videos Dr. Grande but this one chapped me. Kudos to all of you who have helped a damaged person find a way to have peace in their life
yes, I felt the same. To me, it looks like this child just needed someone who would unconditionally love him. Not system, foster care and whatever pills they gave him. Even people who have predisposition to mental health issues benefit from feeling safe and loved.
This is such a horrific and sad case. I am not any kind of person to provide any recommendations care or legal, but my personal opinion in cases like this would be that if the boy, at age 4, had been put in the care of a small family farm, with intelligent caring people, it could have been different for him. In a safe environment with predictable scheduling of the day, a time to rise, to eat, to bed...to be included with doing the chores (feeding, grooming animals, planting seedling...even at the age of 4 a child loves to mimic the adults around him), made to feel as if he were a valuable part of the family, given an abundance of praise for his efforts could have raised his self esteem, and plenty of appropriate affection from the adult who were taking care of him. In an environment like that a child could feel safe and worthy.
Sure, with the normal kids it works well! Some kids are Not normal, though! They learn how to copy a desired behaviour, but do not feel much empathy! They will torture and kill the pets! They will torture their siblings, unobtrusively, when u are not watching! Some kids even purposely drowned their younger siblings! It was thought to be an accident at the time! You seem to have forgotten that manipulative sociopaths and psychopaths exist!
In my short stint working in a daycare center during college, I often thought almost all the little 5-year old boys would grow up to be serial killers. No impulse control! The ways they came up with to cause trouble was mind-boggling. But I feel really sorry for the little lost boy in this story. I can't imagine confining a 4 year old to a mental hospital, even just for a month. I think bad parenting had A LOT to do with his mental problems. And so many innocent people suffered due to his mental illness. I struggle to come with what could have been done to prevent it.
My step kid has ODD. It’s horrible because I am the only one getting him help. But his mom is so crazy I think she will contribute to his downfall as a dangerous adult. The courts don’t seem to care about this type of stuff. ODD is preventable if caught young enough and parents partake in the development of the child. But once they hit an age there’s no “cure” or going back, and no amount of professional help can change them. It’s a sad sad world. And it’s always the parents and system failing children that grow up to be these people who do these awful things.
Will he take a good multivitamin with iron? Omega-3 fatty acids? Magnesium baths before bed? Maybe try for six weeks along with behavior therapy and look for improvement. You are a good mom, hun. Persist and try praying the rosary.
He’s lucky to have you as a step mom! So many adults wanna blame the child and here you are getting the education you can to help him and recognizing that it’s not his fault. God bless you and hang in there! I hope his father, your husband, is also working hard to help and you’re not completely on your own in trying to help this poor kid. Sending you so much love ❤
I understand being angry and wanting to lash out at people that have wronged you. This on the other hand makes no sense to me. Why is he doing this to people that he doesn’t even know? Doing this to people that have done something to him would at least make sense. Randomly unaliving people doesn’t.
He checked the store out to see if there was security and then went back to get his rifle when there wasn't. He might have been "out of control" but he was in control that much.
Tragically, the kid got failed by his family, as well as incompetent mental health and child protective services. Also, compulsory schooling did not do anything good either. You know, something is definitely wrong as hell if a 4-year-old constantly repeats "I'm stupid" and cries in anger most of the time. I'm sure his "obsession" with violence at the time was nothing but a cry for help. Unfortunately, he never received a good one.
I'm sure the therapists did their best, normally they only see the children 1 to 2 hours weekly. Most healing comes within the home, diet, and we all need a tribe
Clearly that boy went through abuse. The fact alone that his parents put him into a mental hospital at 4 years old is a form of abuse. He probably felt abandoned and his little mind blamed himself. Poor boy
The parents cannot win here! If they don’t put their very disturbed child into a hospital, they are negligent and irresponsible! If they entrust the child they are deeply worried about into the professional hands , the parents are deemed abusive for doing so! If ur Child has diabetes or needs a surgery, u bring him to a hospital! If ur Child has severe psychiatric issues, u would not bring ur Child for a specialized hospital help!??
@@MexicanTeTeIt’s too easy to blame the parents! Do we have any factual info to believe he was abused!?? Remember, when the Mothers used to be solely blamed for their Child‘s Autism, Schizophrenia, etc! It is also possible he had a Personality Disorder, a brain tumour, another serious illness, etc! I’m surprised Dr Todd didn’t mention such possibilities!
It makes sense logically. If a child is a disciplinary problem as a small kid there is definitely likelihood that it isn’t going to be corrected and the child will grow into an adult with disciplinary problems
I love how you remind everyone that you are just giving an opinion on here like you don't know what you are doing...that is true integrity right there.
The father and mother made it look like he was an unwanted child. The abusive nature was straight to his face possibly, as they were in a toxic relationship. Unless they fought outside, but still the strong hate is clinging to the air indoors. He was violent from a preschooler age, and got worse. May be one of those that needed to be taken care of in a mental facility without the possibility of getting out without a guardian.
Sadly yes- I feel conflicted - on one hand I pity this poor boy- yet on the the other I'm disgusted by his lack of empathy for the innocent people he murdered
I would agree. But unfortunately, the people who bring you terms like "oppositional defiant disorder and Drapetomania would absolutely not accept that some people are just born bad. That no intervention could ever help them. They completely reject the idea that we are not all born exactly alike and that things other than the environment shapes things about us. They won't even reject the concept that we're all somehow equal. Nothing is more obvious that the inequality of man and yet they still reject it.
@@Germania72 If you push him he will deny it. His professional license requires denying any role of jeans (yes, I know) producing any kind of inequality.
They always think they'll finally get the attention they think they deserve. Only for the most pathetic wankers to think they're some kind of victim/hero 🤡
I’m just a few mins from This location. Air Force base. I worked near this mall n was going to there for lunch this day. I would not have been in the store this happened in , still scary. My mom was going with friends here but decided to stay home.
I wonder about Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder more than the other ones listed. Of course I believe Dr. Grande would have mentioned it if it was very likely. Seems like there was a study once in Canada about how many people in prison were likely candidates for this diagnoses.
1) the child looks sad in first pic 2) as dr phil always says, it's unusual for mother to not get custody 3) i believe a child who acts like this has to have been SA'd 4) air force members and pilots have certain attitudes - might have affected him 5) moving around a lot when young, especially countries, can be hard, hard on everyone
I thought so too. Brain damage and other anomalies can exist without being obvious. He needed meds at the very least. We need to start medically studying this issue in a serious way, there seems to be more kids like this every year.
My sister and her husband adopted a 4 yr old and 3yr old half brothers. Life's had been spent bounced around the system. My sister figured as a school teacher she'd straighten them up quick. Finally I suggested the older child get a brain scan, and see a neurologist, vs just child behavioral psychologists. I'm a NP. When they did they discovered fairly significant brain damage done by his birth moms bf when he was a toddler. He was violent, lied like a skilled con man, and was learning disabled. So the courts 0laved him at age 8 into a residential school/ treatment program for 3 months. There with the experts he learned to follow directions, get up dress himself, how to shower himself, and eat at the table properly. But he continued to assault teachers in school, and run away. He couldn't read or write, and a,though the school provided a computer for his adapted lessons, he couldn't be bothered. I was impressed once again by the courts ruling...at 10 this one child got a foster family part time, plus my susters family. The chosen foster family had 3 teen males living at home, and those young men taught him that there are bigger men in life than you boy. So he d7dnt always win at shooting hoops, or hitting golf balls, they out performed him and were large enough to stop him running off. What a God send. He calmed down from this split living scenario. At 18 he left to find his fortune. But it was indeed fascinating to see him and his evil ways constantly planning, sneaking, and lying. He had professional help, medication, education, and 2 families plus extended family. He just didn't bond, or care unless it benefitted him. We worry about him out in the wild world.
@@joywebster2678 I am a Child Development Specialist. Grew up in an abusive home. Won't share personal data about what happened to my sibling, but he is reflected in previous comments here. Worked with many troubled children over the years. The idea of part-time foster care sounds like a great idea.
Poor kid. I always feel for people who live in a pit of pain. I lived in one for decades. No, it doesn't make it okay to commit crimes and kill people.
I saw this case on ID's Evil Lives Here. I believe it was the first episode of the series. He seemed to be very destructive from early childhood. His mother was not included in the show. His father seemed very loving toward him and always seemed to take his part which finally led to the breakup of his second marriage. I felt very sorry for his stepmother. She was constantly traumatized by Robbie's behavior. It seemed she was the main target of his hatred no matter how hard she tried to love him. I didn't get the impression his father was a bad actor or that he treated him poorly. With no inclusion of the mother it was hard to see how she might have contributed to Robbie's behavior. It seemed that his father and stepmother tried everything they could possibly do to help Robbie to no avail. Perhaps Robbie's behavior just couldn't be altered. It was just a tragedy all around.
@@zb3185 It did seem to go into a lot of detail. It spoke at length with the father and the stepmother. There were three other children involved...Robbie's older sister and two stepsisters who belonged to Candace. It focused on how Robbie was uncontrollable from a very early age and how no matter what the father and stepmother tried to do, he just couldn't be helped. The show didn't focus on whether Robbie had contact with his mother or not. She seems to be a bit of a mistery in the story. It just showed how much they tried to help him and how hopeless it was the older he got. I really don't what else his father, stepmother, or mental health counselors could have done. It was honestly like watching a train wreck m
Right after I did some major grocery shopping! Thanks for the upload, Dr. Grande! Your true fans love your humour and sarcasm. March 20 is World Frog Day, the first day of Spring, Snowman Burning Day, Atheist Pride Day, World Storytelling Day, French Bread Day, Won't You Be My Neighbor? Day, National Ravioli Day (gotta have some Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli later!), and UN International Day of Happiness - March 20.
You did this very well. This is strong evidence as to why psychology needs to become a science as opposed to the guru centered talk to therapy scam it is now
Although the father had a right to own the rifle (assuming the model was legal) he should have known better than to have it in the house. He knew that the kid had a screw loose. If he did insist on having it the gun should have been secured. I wonder why the mother lost custody. It is not usual and perhaps there is an untold tale of what Robbie might have experienced at her hands.
I am from Omaha, Nebraska. I remember when this happened. I was in third grade. My friend’s mom was actually at that mall the day it happened. So sad. If you go to Von Maur today, there is a plaque on the wall next to the piano that commemorates the lives lost that day. I find the perpetrator’s mental health history and past behavior to be so saddening. I think he was failed by multiple adults in his life. I, too, was a “bad kid” in school. I had gotten into multiple fights, had a bad home life, etc. and I can tell you I had a lot of unmet needs that perpetuated this behavior. I obviously don’t know all the details of this kid’s life, nor do I believe his behavior is excused, but I feel bad for him that he had a hard time. Since I’ve graduated high school I’ve been rather successful and have completely avoided any criminal activity. I’ve had YEARS of extensive and intense therapy. I don’t know where I’d be without it. When I run into old teachers of mine they always express how glad they are that I am doing well because they worried about what would become of me. I wonder how things could have been different for this young man.
Thank you Dr. Grande. Question: Could you do more on genetics and impulse control? Is there any research about genetics,impulse control and environment? Thanks for your work.
An example of a child can be born evil perhaps??? Not sure but this one comes down to close! How scary 😨 to be around him! The anger is crazy! It couldn’t be corrected.
I recently watched a documentary about a thief , con artist, and murder from the 1800's that was wanted in 3 continents. His mother said when he was young that he was very difficult and "born to hang". It sounds very similar with equally tragic outcomes.
During the 1950s, evil behavior was common in children. I assume the genetic makeup of children would be the same as now but cannot imagine children of now would do what them kids did. Torturing and killing animals was common. I remember once a group of kids put a fire cracker in a dog's bottom and lit it. And vandalism was done thinking it was funny to cause problems for someone who had done nothing to them. And when I was about 10, some kids about 14 threw a rock at me from behind. The rock was the size of a baseball. It hit me on the ankle. I was on the ground howling in agony. They thought it was the funniest thing.
Because back in the day, it was exceptable to beat on your kids and animals/livestock. People looked the other way. Lots of blaming the victim. The old saying, "Sh!t rolls down hill" The boss yells at the husband, the husband yells at the wife, the wife yells at the kids, and the kids kick the dog. 😢
And yet they turned out better than the good kids do now. The culture doesn't encourage people to grow out of bad behavior anymore - it supports it. The boomers, and I'm one of them, set out to purposely destroy the culture and they've mostly succeeded and refuse to take responsibility for the consequences or change their minds.
