Not having our own money as disabled people is one of the biggest factors driving the statistics that disabled people are drastically more likely to be in an abusive relationship, and not be able to leave. We can't leave if the government forces us into financial dependance on a partner who turns abusive. I'm disabled and was penalized for my now husband's income before we ever got married. We got married because it was already made clear I wouldn't receive any money because he made too much. I am 💯 financially dependant on him, and he has hit me in the past.
I was in the same position. I had a baby girl by my abusive ex. Afterwards he ended up nearly killing me. I was disabled, with 2 children. I had no family living left to help me. So I was stuck. I ended up homeless after his last attack. He went to jail and his family owned our residence. They said I paid no "rent" there. It was winter and the height of covid. I lost my 2 children as a result. I finally got a place but my children were put in foster care over an hour and a half away, 2 counties over, in a location we had never lived in. My disability limits my ability to drive. So I requested a transfer of my case to my county of residence. I was denied because the judge was told they would accomadate me by giving me rides. Each time since then I am either denied or ignored and not provided transportation. This county doesn't even give a specific date in family court. You're given a time frame. Such as court will be on the 1st,2nd, and 3rd of the month. You don't have 1 court date you need to appear. You have to come each day until your case is seen and you never know when that will be. So on the occasions I could pay someone to drive me, there was no guarantee that my case would be seen. I lucked up once and my case was heard when I had gotten a driver. This was the one where my transfer request was denied. I also requested it be transferred again in writing but recieved no response. Now I'm facing a T.P.R. because of this nightmare. What they are doing seems wrong to me. I feel discriminated against because I'm disabled. I don't understand how they can legally get away with this. I have a court appointed attorney but he says if I can't get there there is nothing he can do. 🥺 If I could even get it narrowed down to one date it might help but 3?! People work! It cost me at minimum $50, not counting the gas and food, for each trip. This is in my car and only if I can find someone who can get a day off work in order to do so. 3 days off work is not happening. I have a safe, stable home now. Its just myself living in it. All my bills are paid and I have everything my children need. My son is 16 years old! I successfully raised him without issue until this occurred. Now I can't even visit my kids The people with my children want my baby daughter. They own 84 Wendy's franchises among other business ventures. So I feel as if this is a contributing factor. They are very wealthy, powerful and want my baby. I may be wrong but something is up. Why else would they treat me this way. It seems it should've only been a matter of proving I had safe adequate shelter. I had no history of having abusive men around my children. My abuser was the only man I'd dated since my husband had passed away years before. I never knew they could just move your case and children wherever they please. Not caring if a physical disability limits your ability to travel. I felt humiliated in court when I was denied my transfer request. I was told they had mothers willing to travel from other states for their children. Its not a matter of my being "willing" its a matter of not being able to. If I was able, had the means, and had just up and moved away from my children I could understand their point but that is not what occurred. I filed a complaint but if something doesnt happen soon I will lose my children forever 🥺
One day I received a phone call regarding my disability. The lady from social security asked multiple questions during the call. She asked about me being married and she said “I never told them I was married”. I told them I had to come to social security to change our names when we married and I told them I was disabled. The guy said “it wouldn’t affect my income” unless she was disabled. She asked to speak with my wife and she threatened my marriage and freedom if my wife didn’t pay. I have been disabled over 20 years and this lady said if my wife didn’t pay the $15,000 they would prosecute her and myself. Prosecute over a clerical error I asked. She said not an error, that I done so willfully.I was truthful on the phone because I had nothing to hide. I only thought my income was affected if someone else in the home received disability because that’s what the man said when we had her name changed after getting married. After the $15,000 payment my wife was forced to pay they wanted another $5000. They called my wife wanting her personal bank statements and she denied and they threatened me with jail if she didn’t get those. She never did but came to agreement to pay the local social security office. I live in constant fear and they made me feel as I did something wrong. They want someone on mental disability telling them how to do their jobs. They threatened my life, my wife, and marriage. I’m afraid! You will never believe the multiple calls and threats shaking my wife down. They took away my independence, cut my check by over half and made me depend on my wife for financial support. I was punished for being married to someone who made a ok income. They expected me to know the rules for something I received before I became a adult. I lived in poverty until I met my wife who pulled me from a life of nothing only to be docked and threatened because I got married. What little independence I had is gone
This is why I maintain that this most toxic style of late stage capitalism literally kills. I'm disabled, have been in 2 abusive relationships & now I'm technically homeless (I'm luckily friends with 2 sweet people who take me 2 weeks at a time to couch surf... my life is painfully broken. And it didn't begin like this. I once had a house, a great business id started, & life was ok. Surprise disabilities happen just as much as the sort ones born with, & things in our life can't be depended upon - unless one is very wealthy... I'm so sorry to hear about so much social pain & suffering... Love & peace & the best luck possible to all, A Canadian. XOxooxOX
Then don’t have a partner. And y’all left a check so use that check and leave. Not like the real abused women who don’t get a government check and CANT leave
I am a disabled 29 year old man, I live in constant fear of losing my Medicaid and SSI. Although I am single, the threat of these penalties have me very weary of getting married. The rules are outdated, do not account for cost of living, or inflation. Gabriella, good luck with your BAR exam and life with the man you deserve. Proud of you!
Even here in Canada it's almost the same. My fiance makes close to $60,000 a year, calculated from when he first started his career a few months ago. I'm 28 and cannot work due to a really bad chronic illness that has been getting worse and worse. I get $900/mo and that's enough to help with Rent, and a little bit of food and that's it. If I get married, I will lose that.
One day I received a phone call regarding my disability. The lady from social security asked multiple questions during the call. She asked about me being married and she said “I never told them I was married”. I told them I had to come to social security to change our names when we married and I told them I was disabled. The guy said “it wouldn’t affect my income” unless she was disabled. She asked to speak with my wife and she threatened my marriage and freedom if my wife didn’t pay. I have been disabled over 20 years and this lady said if my wife didn’t pay the $15,000 they would prosecute her and myself. Prosecute over a clerical error I asked. She said not an error, that I done so willfully.I was truthful on the phone because I had nothing to hide. I only thought my income was affected if someone else in the home received disability because that’s what the man said when we had her name changed after getting married. After the $15,000 payment my wife was forced to pay they wanted another $5000. They called my wife wanting her personal bank statements and she denied and they threatened me with jail if she didn’t get those. She never did but came to agreement to pay the local social security office. I live in constant fear and they made me feel as I did something wrong. They want someone on mental disability telling them how to do their jobs. They threatened my life, my wife, and marriage. I’m afraid! You will never believe the multiple calls and threats shaking my wife down. They took away my independence, cut my check by over half and made me depend on my wife for financial support. I was punished for being married to someone who made a ok income. They expected me to know the rules for something I received before I became a adult. I lived in poverty until I met my wife who pulled me from a life of nothing only to be docked and threatened because I got married. What little independence I had is gone
@MasterZ I'm a disabled young adult who is very educated, I have degrees in education and psychology and want to go to grad school, and it breaks my heart that I can't really work part time or even get married because of all the rules around medicare/medicaid/SSI !
@@MikesGarageReviews As a disabled young adult, my heart breaks for you. This should never happen, and I live in constant fear of breaking the medicaid/medicare/SSI rules, myself. People ask "why don't I just work part time", well if you make over $65 (which is like 4 minimum wage hours a month) they start punishing you, let alone the utter HELL you went through for getting married. It's an utter disgrace! We need the numbers that were set in the 70s to be updated for inflation and disabled people deserve marriage equality !
I'm disabled I don't get a check they won't give it to me. I've tried to get it four times now they keep turning me down I have physical and mental disabilities. I guess the way they figure it is if the state is paying for everything then you don't need to be married. And if you are married then you got to be like everybody else and your spouse needs to help pay for that. I mean you can be married and still have SSI and disability my parents are married he's 100% to say they've been married for almost 40 years now. But if one of you was able to work you need to help cover some of the cost. Because at the end of the day somebody's paying for all of this you know what I mean that this money doesn't just come out of thin air. I mean I've had to pay for everything that's wrong with me I got to pay all my stuff out of pocket I don't get help with nothing. So the whole I'm torn apart because I'm getting everything paid for by the state and because they don't want to let me get married I'm upset about that? I don't understand that at all. Marriage ain't nothing but a piece of paper. You can be calm and love Mary and get around that. I don't see why jeopardizing your living situation and your health care is worth getting married to somebody that you might not even end up staying with for the rest of your life. I wouldn't do it if I had disability and I was getting paid. To me that's just crazy. I know how much Healthcare and stuff costs I know because I'm covering everything myself without insurance. And she's whining because the state is covering every single thing that's wrong with her and they're cutting her in SSI check and she's mad cuz she can't get married? That is so bizarre to me. I don't understand their relationship either. How do you go from wanting a relationship with a normal person to go in and being somebody you've never met their full-time caregiver? You can never have sex with them you can never be intimate you can never go out together you can never have fun together in a normal way. The whole thing is just bizarre. I'm going to bet he doesn't have a job. And he's with her because she gets a check and it's a comfortable squishy situation. But if he does work and he wants to marry her you still can have the insurance and you still get a check you just don't get as much. And you shouldn't cuz your spouse needs to help with some of that that's the whole thing on getting married. You are no longer the state's problem now you are your husband's problem, we can help you out but we ain't going to cover it all anymore. Sorry what the big deal is? Be common law married and still get the money or the actual married and get a job and help her pay for it
I saw this happen to my cousin. Her boyfriend also is disabled with a full time care giver required, while she requires a part time care giver. If they get married, they would lose all their care giver. Makes no sense.
Makes sense, why? Because it's called Socialism and Americans are spoon fed to hate that word. My parents are the same but from Europe, got married and still were able to keep their social security.
@@nikoo9414 how can someone who requires a full time care giver become a care giver? They’re both disabled physically, both in wheelchairs. How in the world can she lift him out of his chair when she’s in one herself? And even if one of them was physically able, why should getting married mean that they have to give up their care givers? Older people who have life care don’t need to get divorced to get care.
@@unboxedcharacter Why don't you have social security laws to counter the examples in the vid, also when someone gets fired in the U.S they're mostly left to fend to wolves right? No welfare payments and government institutions that help you get back to work asap I have to agree the programs like Medicaid are great and should be pursued more, but what stops the next president from cancelling it? Since the GOP is believing more and more in Christ, whats stopping them from telling you to just pray the cancer away
@@eklektek5032 Perhaps you’re new viewer so let me clue you in. Here at Vice, we take the stuff we watch seriously. There’s a level of intelligence that needs to constantly be trained in order to keep up with their groundbreaking, near-futuristic journalism. We haven’t seen anything like it before and may never again. Please don’t be deliberately obtuse, because it’s not the gotcha that you think it is. It’s like irony, you might that know that you’re being ironic and pointing out what’s wrong by being like them but to everyone outside of your head, you just look stupid. We expect better so, do better!
I am disabled myself, and it is very sad and pathetic that the American government wants people with disabilities to live in poverty and not live like everybody else!
This is the natural consequence of making people valuable for what economic gains they provide. A disabled person is worthless, a poor person is worthless, a chronically ill person is worthless, the only people having any say are the elite. Your people chose this because they hate you and love the world.
I’m sorry but disabled people need to understand that in the real world, they would be the weakest and the ones to die very soon. That would eliminate them and leave the strong ones to survive. Also, they ARE an expense that us taxpayers have to cover for their services. They need to understand they’re already getting a second chance at life. I believe whatever services they are given, come from donations from people that actually want to give. Sorry if this sounded harsh.
I have to quit my job to qualify for disability to attend school. If I leave my job, my standards of living will drop significantly, and I wouldn't be able to pay for school. I work for myself but would like to expand my capabilities to perform in a greater capacity. I want a degree in accounting. But until then, I will continue saving, so I can finally go to school.
I'm disabled as well as my husband. He almost lost his foot to infection and was allowed no weight bearing while undergoing skin grafts and limb saving treatments which lasted 10 months. I have an autoimmune condition that many days makes it difficult or impossible to shower, brush my hair, prepare meals, shop, etc. I had to take him 3x week for treatments, 1-1/2 hour round trip, appointments sometimes lasted a couple hours, had to get his wheelchair in and out of our vehicle as well as push the wheelchair. Had to administer IV antibiotics, 2x day. MY responsibilities were tremendous, even for an able bodied person. But because I could drive, he didn't qualify for part time assistance even though it was temporary. I was healthy and worked until I was 40, my husband did even longer and was self-employed when he got injured. We wiped out our savings and retirement funds mostly on uncovered medical expenses. Listen, I'm grateful for what we do receive and at the same time struggle with what we don't. Most people assume we're lazy, unmotivated, scamming the gov't of tax payers' hard earned money and lovin' it up. Far from the truth. I get that there are people who scam the gov't, but they are few. Those who need extra help are the one penalized. So, people don't get married so they can keep their benefits. Is it saving the gov't money? No. So if those same people get married but lose no benefits, is it costing the gov't any more than if they weren't married? No. So how can anyone dismiss a disabled person's right to get married as "just a piece of paper?" That piece of paper is a certificate if equality. Either you have the same rights as others or you don't. That piece of paper is the evidence.
Wild to me how many people in the comments think disabled people haven’t thought of just living together instead of getting legally married. Newsflash people, that’s also grounds to lose your benefits
Getting married as a disabled person is such a huge risk! You are no longer able to get gov help and then you are financial trapped with a partner.. That can be DANGEROUS with some marriages. Laws need to change. Thanks for making this video Vice.
Biden said He was going to do away with this ! May be trump will do it ! I'm disabled and I lived a lot better when Trump was in office . But like idiot, I voted for Biden and dems little covid scare
Ugh. :( I had ulcerative colitis and constant migraines, making me super unreliable. No one understood because one look at me and I am .. was, clearly very strong and capable. I've been with my girlfriend for 24 years now, since we were 14. Everyone always asking "Jesus dude when you gonna get married?" The way society looks at you when you've been together for that long and still not married. I felt terrible for her. I never married her because I loved her. I knew as things got worse and worse we would just be in CONSTANT medical debit I knew the day would come when the medications wouldn't cut it and I'd lose my large intestine. I lost my entire large intestine almost 1 full year spent in hospital. 9 surgeries later and I'm still not finished, I'll never be finished, it's always something. I'm lucky that medicare covers this at all. But I feel terrible for my girlfriend. To even call her my girlfriend seems like it implies she's not as special since she's not my wife.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It’s really heartbreaking seeing this video and your story. As a collective we need to fight for more rigorous rights for disabled citizens
I struggle with chronic migraines as well and have been for a little over 25 years now, when I was younger people would tell me that I was too young to be on disability and that they couldn't have been that bad, there are still people today that don't fully understand how debilitating and how thieving migraines can be, I will never understand why it is so difficult for those that truly need just a little bit of help I never able to acquire it
@@TheJulithegreat and thus we be considered married and I lose my healthcare/disability and become even more of a burden to her? I think I may off myself if that's the case.
@@susancarlson4293 "have you tried Tylenol or Advil" will be on our graves. I'm so sorry for your migraines. Every time I have a full blown migraine I can't help but be amazed at how much pain it's possible to have without passing out or having your head suddenly explode. Every time I think, ok I've been here countless times, and it's always gone away eventually, maybe it took days but it was "JUST A MIGRAINE" my head's not actually gonna explode. And yet, with each new migraine I'm like "this is the worst one ever!" How old were you when you first started to get migraines?
Love how they set the income limits to where you can be homeless and also make too much money for support. They also fail to consider the cruelty of telling someone "Well, because you make $1500 a month, you get to pay thousands of dollars for healthcare on top of your $1200 rent"
Yup. Homeless and realizing now with my disability it's more traps upon the traps we've been trying to avoid. The Purpose of a System is What it Does! POSIWID
100% agreed!!! Was homeless and worked at a grocery store when obama care was still new. AT end of year, while filing taxes, I was asked to fill out a form to see if I qualified for it. Mind you, I made $70/week at the time. Was sleeping in the woods next to the job. Yet I still apparently made too much to qualify for it. That's when I realized the government is a scam through and through. How does $70/week equal too much pay for any kind of help?!?!? I could barely eat during that time. If it wasn't for working at a grocery store and the deli workers looking out for me, I would have starved to death that year. I owe them my life!
@@louib716 and if you have a bunch of kids then you are seen as fleesing the system. and you are also not allowed to marry the father or have them live with you and help with the children.
Yup! They can also come into your house and appraise your belongings and deny you benefits for GASP the audacity of having some nice things. I have a friend who's mom legally owns everything in her apartment aside from her bed. Its the only way she can safely have an OK standard of living and not risk loosing the benefits she desperately needs.
Add this to the stockpile of issues our greedy healthcare system causes. Absolutely insane that the only way some people can afford their medications, health procedures, equipment, etc. Is through health insurance that relies on you being dirt poor your entire life. Good forbid you increase your income or get married. Because, all of the sudden those few thousand dollars should surely cover the tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars you'll lose out in healthcare coverage.
@@rogerlambert9316 This doesn't work for every situation. I'm disabled from birth, I have the same disease (SMA) the girl has from the video, and I'm a US citizen but the person I fell in love with is from Scotland and we've been dating for 4 1/2 years. I can't "spiritually" marry someone from another country. I need to legally marry them, so that we can be together. I get what you're trying to say but that's still not TRUE equality for people with serious life-long disabilities who just want to love and be loved.
Don't do it you will lose everything !! I suffer from a very Painful spine disease. my soon to be ex-wife and I are now divorcing to keep my Medical ! I have worked part time in the past, but No one wan't someone with a spine are back problem that on meds to much of a risk for them! thanks to all the lawsuits for back injury's !
This is one reason I'm afraid to even apply. I'm terrified of depending on that income just to have it ripped away or worse forced to somehow pay it back. Then there's the stigma attached of being as an undeserving leech on society...
This is what happens in Canada too. If you're disabled and get married you lose most if not all income and government funded health support like caregivers etc.
I'm glad you guys found each other. I feel the same way when she mentioned she didn't want to be a burden, which is why I've never had much luck with dating. Thanks for sharing you story. I'm thankful I'm still able to walk and have adjusted to the issues with my hands. It's tough out there.
Keep your heart open. There is someone out there that is lovely and lonely and has the same dreams. Probably loads. Keep your communication open and go find your love. YOU DESERVE IT! You’re amazing! 🫵🏻💛👍🏻
I have been with my fiancé for about 20 years. He has a state job and I am on disability because of an car accident that damaged my spinal cord causing me to be paralyzed. He has insurance with his job that he pays for out of each check. Each Dr visit and prescription has a reasonable copay. Thankfully he doesn’t have many health issues. If we get married I would have to be put on his insurance and the cost would triple. Not to mention the cost of 5-6 prescription’s every month and specialty Dr.’s. That’s just for a normal month! The fear of what is to come in the future for me with my injury on top of aging with this kind of injury keeps me from legally getting married. I was the typical little girl picturing the Cinderella wedding dress when I was growing up. When I had my wreck at only 19 years old I honestly didn’t know what kind of romantic relationship I would be able to have or if I would even have one in the future. It would have been nice to be able to officially “tie the knot” and celebrate having love and dedication to one another but like with a lot of things throughout our relationship, we figured out our own way of going about things.
Thank you! I'm disabled. I have autism, bipolar type 1, CPTSD, and fibromyalgia. Possibly even a brain injury. I live off benefits like SSI and medicaid. I love that VICE decided to bring attention to this topic. If I ever find the right person, we deserve the option to marry like anyone else. Disabled people deserve to have a love life too.
I know it isn't easy to be an advocate and I'm so glad you are speaking out. You have always been a fighter. I have so much love and admiration for you, Gab. You and Juan are only asking for what most take for granted. I'm so disgusted that laws are made that are so unfair and unless they affect law makers or their families directly nothing changes. We need to step up and help make the marriage laws equal. You shouldn't have to risk dying just to be married. You are going to change the world. A lawyer that everyone can respect. Let us know, how can we help in the fight for equality? ❤️
Families really don't care. They don't want any burden put on them. They don't want to be brought down by someone else's challenges. I've heard that at times, "ain't you got family?". Ha, no... my family evidently isn't as grand as yours. This marriage restriction, because it is.... is nothing but a curse put on people with challenges by those who have NONE. Same thing goes for the ONE vehicle only rule. There to make it 10x more difficult when something happens to what you "might have".
YES! VISIBILITY! Disabled people are here, disabled people fall in love, disabled people get married and SHOULD get married and should not be penalised for doing so!
This is very humiliating and dehumanizing for many disable Americans and their significant. Our government needs to check themselves. Disable citizens are also fellow Americans and human beings as well.
I’ve been fighting with SSA for the past 13 years. To say to my husband, we need to think about getting divorced, all because the government says that his income is responsible for both of us is insane. So when I got injured and couldn’t work anymore he made too much money for us to receive the money I had worked and paid into the system for times such as the ones I was going through. Makes me feel like less than to not be able to contribute to my family during those tough times. We all go through things it’s just sad to watch the system set up to distribute the money we worked hard for to use in case of emergencies…monies which they automatically took out of our paychecks, fight so hard to not return what we worked for and then shift the responsibility of to the person we say I do to. Ugh!
In the UK I lost my benefits when I moved in with my partner. Luckily he has an okay income and is very supportive but this policy is not only harmful to disabled people but has also been proven to make it more difficult for people to escape domestic abuse
When I moved to France, I was shocked to see so many disabled people participate actively in society. I have hard of hearing and blind classmates whereas I have never anyone blind in America. There are also a lot of wheelchair users on the street and public transit which I’ve never seen before coming too. I realized that disabled people are not as rare as I thought but that in America they’re incentivized to not participate in society.
I know someone who is disabled and can’t get married or will lose the help. This person also told me that they cannot receive any inheritance when their parents pass or they’ll lose disability benefits & have to pay money back. But guess what- their lawyer said if assets go through probate this person cannot refuse them. Terrible! Talk to a lawyer, I’m definitely not one! Anyway, there are loads of problems with the system that make things harder for those who need it and punish them for engaging in the normal societal actions. This needs to change! I do hope she can help this by going through law school and becoming a force for change.
That isn't true, their parents need to place real property in a living trust. Then liquid assets, like cash, should be placed inside a disabled child/person's savings account. There is specific accounts and legal entities that need be set up.
I am in New Zealand and I believe we just changed the laws so that family members who take care of disabled family members get paid a fair wage from the government (because they’re doing the job of a carer!). It’s strange how the US is so behind in these things.
in many states in the US family members are not allowed to be caregivers, they wont pay for it and expect family members to do it for free. there are other similar restrictions.
My mom wants to work but has the same problem - 30k annually in prescriptions paid for by Medicare, not even counting all her appointments or procedures, and the cutoff for income is like... 1200 a month? It's been a couple years since we seriously looked.
My wife was disabled we couldnt marry because she would loose her disability benefits she had to fight a long time to get. We lived as a martied couple rings and all. Our martiage wasnt legal but love is stronger than a piece of paper and some outdated rules. I was her caregiver . She died 2 years ago we were married 10 years.
I live in Europe where most countries have a mandatory healthcare insurance for individuals that have a job and free insurance for the the ones that cannot work because of their disability. Also disabled individuals get a small payment from the government, married or not. This kind of help is also given for a determined period of time to families who have not any member working for some time because of lack of jobs, etc. In some countries this help is enough to survive or live decently and in some others might be mediocre, but at least you are not left without any support.
My fiance and I haven't gotten married for this exact reason as well. She's epileptic and also has crohns. If we were to get married, she would lose her state insurance. Without that, we would be on the hook for $10,000 out of pocket every year before insurance helps. Makes zero sense to get married, financially speaking, in this country if you're disabled.
A marriage can be anything you want it to be. Recognized by you and your universe is all you need. I realize certain privileges are afforded to officially married couples but I say we buck that system and live in sin without them. Best wishes! 💛👍🏻
I agree with the sentiment, but in reality there are a lot of fundamental rights missed when a couple isn't married; like being able to visit your sick or dying partner in the hospital. There are many more, especially when it comes to children.
A lot of disabled people would agree with you except for the fact that if you live with a romantic partner the same rules apply, their income is counted against you. So you can’t get legally married and you can’t even “live in sin” either
I have had MS for 21 years and at the beginning it wasn't too bad but as time progressed I just find things not so accommodating and it pisses me off. It's very unfortunate that it seems we have to prove we're still people. We shouldn't have to limit ourselves but we do because the non-disabled DGAF about us. Why can't we get married like everyone else? Why penalize her because of his income? I believe there are penalties if 2 disabled people get married...whack @$$ gov't.
I am disabled and I am married and I still have my benefits. There are certain programs that you can join that would help you keep your benefits and still be able to work.
What are they? Please if you could enlighten me, I would appreciate it. It may be because you live in a state with these programs. Different states do provide benefits. Which goes for many legal rights are not the same depending on the state of residence. One of the side effects of politics...
There's a British RU-vidr called Jessica Folzen(sp). She's disabled, and has a whole episode about how she lost all her benefits when she got married, and the revenue from her channel is the only money she has to call her own.
I'm living with SMA II in Denmark - and luckily we don't have this particular kind of marriage-discrimination - my only problem is that I'm stil looking for my "Pretty Woman"... ;-)
I have a disability and can honestly say that everything said here is true!!!!! Just have to prove that we are normal humans like everyone else with some modification 👌👌👌
This is why I'm so glad I'm in a situation where I'm barely getting any SSI at all because I've been working 20 hours a week and getting paid weekly as opposed to bi monthly with my previous job where I used to live. I hope to be off of it soon. I hated it so much because it did more harm than help.
Im going on my first hearing with a judge after being denied twice. This has been three years in the making. I finally get to go In front of a judge to beg and gravel.
They should still have the “wedding” they can still celebrate their commitment to each other with their family and friends with a great get together. Sometimes that piece of paper is just not worth signing .😢 at the end of this day this is not fair and needs to be changed, back 30-40 years ago 1 persons income could maybe pull this off and let them disregard the insurance penalty but in this day one persons income is barley enough to put food on the table let alone take care of someone medically 😔
The switch in thumbnail for this video was kind of weird. The original thumbnail emphasized the relationship talked about in this video, which is the forefront of this whole thing (the fact that they can't get married). The new thumbnail emphasizes the disabled person's disability. I don't think an image of them having difficulty getting into a bed is as relevant as an image of them with their partner, so the new thumbnail kind of feels like shock value. Like "Look at this disabled person struggle with a daily task!" instead of "Here's a loving relationship that is being hindered by the government due to a lack of marriage equality." It feels more similar to inspiration/disability porn now
Another good point she made and this applies to me is when she was saying how with all these regulations and stuff that they believe that family members will take care of their family member as well I am the number one person tell you and I know I'm not alone I am one of the people that you can definitely know that this applies to you because I can't rely upon my family to take care of me or take me in my family has helped me out from time to time with small things but they're not going to like help take care of me and I am disabled and I don't have a caregiver and I lost my caregivers and so I'm in kind of a position where I have to find other means to get by you know and I don't drive a car I can't drive a car I don't own a car I don't have the money for such things I never even learned to drive I don't have a driver's license if even if I did it would be too dangerous for me on the road due to medical health issues and things I have and so I can't rely upon my family to take care of me because it's just not going to happen no matter how hard I I beg and plead so there's a lot of disabled people out there that really struggle getting by whether it's marriage or trying to get help for themselves so I totally understand the story
This is so pathetic how the lives of disabled people in the US are being put through hell. This gonna change ASAP! If they want to marry someone let them marry the person who they love.
Grandma has been with grandpa for 40 years. But they're not married because grandpa has a disability. The marriage penalty is the reason they don't marry. He's still my grandpa and a great "husband" :)
The definition of disability is literally : A physical or mental health condition that LIMITS a persons movements, senses, or activities. There are limits...
As a 44 yr old woman who was born with both developmental and physical disabilities I find it extremely frustrating how the government mistreats us I mean they think that just because we do things differently than " normal" people do we aren't supposed to work ,get married or be allowed to have the same opportunities that able-bodied people do ( like seriously wtf?)
for people asking why marriage matters: hospitals. Many ICUs only allow family visitors, non-legal spouses don't count. This is why gay people fought so hard for gay marriage, during the AIDs crisis many gay men died alone in hospitals, abandoned by their families and separated from their spouses by legal bullshit. There's also the issue of common law marriage. In some states, if you live together for too long you're considered "common law" married and lose your benefits anyway.
I’m in exactly the same situation. We just will never be legally married unless things change. And my family would never “take care of me” like people think. They abused me and made me live a very second rate and burdened life. Indebted to them because I’m “broken”. Even though I’m not. 😂
Write Biden and ask when they are going to stop this BS ! I suffer from a spine disease and deal with mental physical pain every day ! I have a hard time with finding anyone willing to hire me because the meds and thanks to the many idiots that file lawsuit over little back problem thanks to the scammers have hurt people like me twice ! also if you make one dollar over there limit by, by medical no win
This is exactly what happened to my wife as soon as we got married. She suffers from debilitating epilepsy. As her husband I make a "decent" living as an auto mechanic. As soon as we got married, she was stripped of her Medicaid. So now being a 1 income home, we are forced to live paycheck to paycheck in a country rocked by inflation since COVID. Add to that a high deductible health insurance that cost about $500 a month and barely covers anything. We have to spend $10,000 before coverage kicks (each year). This country is BEYOND FUCKED! That's why the middle class is being squeezed out of existence. Most days I feel disgusted to be an American and like most Americans I have zero faith in our political system.
@@maxu4958 sure Max. We didn't get married because of money or legality, we got married because it's an important part of our faith. Honoring the Lord is more important in our eyes that a # in a bank account. But also on the legal side, with her health there are many decisions that I couldnt make for her should she be in a situation where she cant make for herself if had we not been married. There were times she'd be in the hospital and I couldn't see her because I "technically " wasn't considered her family until she became my wife.
That said, good luck with your Bar exam, and we all need to keep fighting the good fight! You seem like a really sweet couple, and you deserve all the good things!
