Disfellowshipping - Loving and Scriptural or Cruel and Inhumane? 

Yes, it should be viewed as a hate crime.

@T Smi I agree. The wt funding was revoked in Norway because of this shunning policy since it violates children's rights. The gb needs to be arrested for the rules and fear they instill in people.

It is so sad and destructive that 8 men decide the fate of so many. They are not perfect or inspired. These men are coddled,protected and have no clue what the rest of us go through. The only thing that makes them powerful is donations and holding our families hostage. All with the blessing of their god named Jehovah. Sending love your way.

Dear Queentopia 9. I'm so deeply touched by your message. It brought tears to my eyes. If this can help you in any way: It's been 12 years now since I had a last contact with my family. One day I sat down and deeply reflect on the situation to find out how privileged I've been to be freed from manipulations of all sorts. Yes, I hurt for a long time but I'm now free as a bird to go anywhere and do anything I want. This is called FREEDOM and I'm now grateful for it. I understand what you are going through but do not despair: there is a beautiful light ahead.

Hi Queentopia. My name is Anya. I'll be 43 as well this year. I was also raised JW and disfellowshipped at 18. I can relate to all you are saying. Is there a way we can connect outside of RU-vid if you want? I have no one to talk to about my pain. No one cares or understands.

As a never-JW, and a mother, that extent of brainwashing is difficult to comprehend. To redirect all parental instinct to protect one's children in the present life, in an attempt to save them for a future life in a Paradise that is promised, but not guaranteed, is a mind bending warping of human nature. It's a cruelty and subversion of humanity on an epic scale. It's horrifying to be a Jehovah's Witness Organization witness. The Governing Body are guilty of crimes against humanity.

Totally NO ability to think for themselves!

It's part of the cult conditioning. From the earliest possible age it's instilled at the deepest levels of their brain.... Some people can think for themselves, but some don't have the capacity... The one's who can, they are the lucky ones. My hope is that information like this can be found relatively easy nowadays by even kids who can (hopefully) see thru the facade of this cult's lies. Any relative who puts this cult over the love of their family, are too far gone most likely... Luckily there are some great XJW channels on YT... Including THIS one! Thank you June! 😉 👌

That's so cruel

I too was DF for not believing and questioning the GB. During my final meeting with the elders, I boldly told them. “I know the truth and it has set me free”. Now I’m no longer a JW, I’m a much better person. My hubby no longer attend due to their treatment of me and him. They do not even try to get him to come back.

@@Charleneslife-23 I have a Shepard call this Friday with two of the elders and I'm going to tell them everything I think about them misleading people sand they should be ashamed of themselves I'm glad you and your husband are no longer being misled.

Seek professional help for your problem. Twelve step meetings will help you. Get a therapist. You are worth it. Strong people seek help. The JW organization is toxic, and they really teach you how to not love yourself. You are worth it.

I am a never-JW (just an ex-JW ally) but I know about trauma, abuse, betrayal, etc. and overdosing, from personal experience, and definitely don't recommend any of it! As I doubt you would recommend to someone else, either. I am extremely fortunate to be alive to say that in my case it was misplaced rage towards others, directed inwards on myself. I had to find safe outlets for my rage so I didn't internalize it, and perpetuate victimizing me, as they taught me to do. That rage and desire to destroy, and annihilate, belongs to the Jehovah's Witness Organization., and the effects of their brainwashing on others. Your parents have betrayed you, but you know they have been brainwashed to shut down from unconditional love for you, believing that conditional love is the best way to save you. Obviously, they are wrong and utterly deluded. But you have every right to feel the full force of your emotions to all those who have unfairly punished you, in heinously cruel ways. I am not going to tell you that life circumstances suddenly get easier. My life has been, objectively, a continuing, unmitigated disaster!! From conception, onwards. However, finding creative, and safe outlets to express the rage; to externalize it in ways more directed to the true targets, reduces the destabilizing effects of rage in a major way. It's how we handle the cards we are dealt in life that determines our quality of life, more than the actual cards we are dealt. With a lot of practice, I know how to handle everything better,, I love life more every day, because every day my life is more my own, in my own mind. I have learned to lean into the life affirming stuff. That's where the quality is. The best revenge against a cult is to leave the shame, blame, punishment, devaluing, dispowerment to the people who deserve it, the abusers; The Governing Body, and anyone else who damaged you. The best revenge against a cult is to reclaim your own individual humanity by finding your passions, your own values, and what is meaningful to you, and nurturing those aspects of your life. Why give them your final sacrifice; your ultimate sacrifice to the cult - your life? Why let them win? Now you are detached from them, you are free to be your full, whole self, as is your birthright. Sometimes old things need to be broken to allow the space for big change, and growth of new life. You don't have to keep giving away your power to Them who be-littled you. You are a free agent now. You don't need to attempt to live to their impossible standards any more. You can use the extraordinary strength, resilience and willpower you obviously have in you to have made it this far, to fight for your own life, and be the fierce protector of your own human rights. They lied to you. You ARE worthy of every effort to protect. All the toxicity is theirs, not yours. You were always lovable, worthy of protecting, nurturing and cherishing, from the time you were born. Their failures to love you unconditionally are no reflection of your value, but of their deficiencies. You, as an adult, can now learn to care for yourself in ways they never could. It starts by challenging the critical, judgemental, destructive thinking they programmed into you. When you feel the self negating recording looping in your head, I suggest you use your power to switch gears and change the narrative. Defy Them, name them, and either re-direct that energy towards them, as it is really all about Them. (You could try punching pillows, yelling obscenities about them into pillows, throwing things safely, scrawling on paper, venting to someone, doing some form of exercise to release the pressure cooker), and/ or get yourself as comfortable as possible. Do something you enjoy, watch what you want. Listen to what you want. Focus on providing a safe, gentle moment in time for yourself. Your life, this moment in time and space, is yours to Live. If you learn what gives you comfort, a feeling of security and enjoyment, you will find out more who you are, what you need, and how to provide for your own needs. Then it doesn't matter what they do so much, because you won't need them any more. You will have yourself. Then no matter how objectively disastrous your life is, your life will have meaninng, quality and will be your own. I worked for years with a psychologist to help me with complex trauma, etc. I found my own methods that worked for me. If you can find someone professionally trained with cults or complex trauma, that could help you a lot. If not, perhaps someone with life experience who has some understanding of your experiences, and preferably is no longer at risk themselves, who can remind you, or let you know of all the other life giving possibilities available, other than a programmed self sacrifice to a cult. Reaching out to others is also an important part of fighting for yourself, self advocacy, self preservation and the self care you definitely, and defiantly deserve.

@@ellegee4683 all the therapy in the world isnt going to get back what i lost or give me a wonderful job or spouse. Ivd done alllll the “right” “healthy” things and my life just gets infinitely worse. But thank u for ur kindness.

@@blondefro I agree that therapy can't give back what you have lost. There is a time for most of us for mourning what could have been; the life we could have had, the person we could have been, the relationships we could have had...But especially for those, such as yourself, with decades spent in a controlling cult. The grief is natural and necessary to experience, and process. But if you get stuck in the grief, it becomes clinical depression. A therapist can help you process the grief, and fully justified rage, so you can move forward with being able focus on what you have now, your new chance at true living, (rather than merely existing) and help you build on that. What you have is being free of a cult. This is your opportunity to create a whole new life that is more natural to you, and more of what you are wanting, and needing. It is easy to assume the rest of your life is going to be horrible, just because that is how it has been. Maybe part of you believes an awful life is what you deserve, which, of course, isn't true. You have as much right to quality of life as anyone else. Actually, none of us know what is going to happen next. Past patterns don't always continue into the future. You don't know what is around the corner. Being human is always a mixed bag. If you expect shadows, that will be all you can see. A therapist can also help you see the positives, and opportunities to improve your quality of life. It's rare that everything goes to plan. Sometimes we have to shift gears, and change our goals, and change our definition of success. There is more than one way to find quality, meaning, purpose and joy in life. I got married, and had a child. I can't begin to tell you how much suffering and heartache I have gone through. My ex- husband died of ALS/ Motor Neuron Dsease 5 days before the Christmas just gone, and 11 days before our teenage son's birthday. And that is only part of all we have gone through. My point is that our fantasies that we feel robbed of are unlikely to ever have matched reality. Mine is a somewhat unusually harrowing parenting experience. But still, who is to know what you have been spared by not marrying and having a child? You could have had an abusive husband, etc. Being older you have more of a chance of being in a healthier, longer lasting relationship. There is still time for you to learn about unconditional love outside the cult, and find an unconditionally loving husband, who may, or may not have children, and/ or foster a child. Or work in child care. No, it is not the same as your original fantasy, but may work out better than you could have imagined. Three years ago, a lady in our family (twice widowed) introduced us to her new beau, a 93 year old! I called him a cradle snatcher. She was a mere 79 years old! He thought that was hilarious. They are both still sharp of mind and body, active, volunteering, etc. and although going through the usual hardships and dramas that is just part of being human, also both having the most compatible, fulfilling relationship of their lives. It's not too late, until life is over! A therapist can help you navigate through this rocky time, and find strategies to help you make the most of your new found freedom, so you can have mental and emotional freedom, too. Then you can better deal with whatever comes your way, and make the most of the best things. From my perspective, it seems that you are trapped in a negative mind cage - fully understandably! It's difficult to see anything positive, or imagine a more stable and happier future, until you can get out and breathe in life. This is what a therapist can help you with, if you find a good one. You are worthy of all the support and opportunities you can get. It is always worth trying, because you have no idea what you will miss out on if you give yourself no chance at all. What else do you want to do that you feel you have missed out on? Did you enjoy a subject at school that you would have liked study further? Or have a go at a hobby? Or go for a walk in nature, rather than door to door? You have opportunities, now that your time, and choices are your own. 💖

@@blondefro Also, that 79 year old family member I told you about, was able to go back to school at 40 years old. She got a scholarship and kept studying at Uni. She started her career at 53 years, and retired at 78 years. You have time!

@@JustDeannaJune thanks for your videos! I'm from Chile (south America) and can really feel that I'm not alone thanks to beautiful people like you and your family who are willing to share some love and interesting content with us💕

June, I respect you, and I respectectfully disagree. I'm disfellowshipped. I still see it as consequences. I also see it as "tough love", and scriptural. Furthermore I knew the rules when I joined.... how can I be bitter? p.s. very open to a dialog ;)

@@JustDeannaJune I would agree that the "actual" culture and practice of JW's is very different from the official teaching. It's very hard for me to find a place to point a finger though. I fall back on my "programming" and tell myself that they are only imperfect men doing the best they can... but since my awakening I see that is not always true.

Thank you very much for your response. I feel like JW’s talk in their coded language and outsiders are left confused. My mom faded and didn’t talk to her side of the family for decades. They are just recently filling her in on stuff that’s more important I guess. Thank you for your help and kind words .

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a little long... You say that it was YOUR initial mistake and horny teenage choices that put HER in THIS position.... Think about that statement. That is EXACTLY how the governing body WANTS you to reason on your actions and that's not the situation. Did you make some bad decisions? Maybe... I don't know your whole story, just that you were a horny teenager. Ummm 🤔 most of us were, and that's a perfectly NORMAL way to be as a teenager and its demonized by the JW organization. Studies show that the average teenager becomes sexually active at age 16-17, but that age has become higher in recent years. It used to be lower, between 15-16. So JWs stigmatize us to feel like we are horrific worthless humans because we made a decision that was maybe not well thought out before our brain was fully formed and our hormones were raging. And they, AS ADULTS, react by treating this situation with unloving, dramatic dogma based on 140-ish JW views, Jesus never shunned anyone, hell, he talked and was loving to prostitutes and tax collectors according to the Bible. So, according to JW propaganda, that THEY DO EVERYTHING ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURE, they should be treating ppl that make mistakes lovingly, as Jesus did, and leaving the JUDGEMENT to Jehovah God in the future when someone comes to their end on this earth. That's if you believe in the Bible... which I don't. But maybe you do. You need to give yourself some grace and understanding, you were a kid who needed patience and love shown to you by your religious faith and your parent, NOT all discipline and punishment. My children have made some seriously bad decisions along the way as teenagers, just like I did. My husband and I tried to not follow in our parents footsteps and we NEVER brought them before the elders for help... Both our parents were strict JWs that punished and told us to suppress our emotions and actions. I realize, we all should try to listen to our parents, they are truly trying to direct us for our own well-being BUT they should realize... Mistakes are going to happen, even BIG ones, BUT the answer is NEVER SHUNNING, NEVER! Shunning is a form of manipulation and control. We never deserved that, no matter what we did! Being talked to sternly and facing our consequences, YES, that is necessary! Giving loving help and having patience is what a parent should do. A parent that isn't being directed by a self promoting, unjust and highly controlling religious group. But your mom unfortunately was being manipulated by the JW organization and sounds like she still is... The fault ALL lies on Watchtower, NOT on your young, inexperienced self or your poor Mom. Again, give yourself the GRACE Watchtower NEVER will because of greed, power and control. Remember, you are right about not living a lie and pretending to be someone you aren't, always be yourself!!! And I'm so very sorry that Watchtower has caused this distance between you and your mother, it's such an unbelievably sad and cruel situation they put you both in! Hang in there!!! I wish I had some better words of comfort to extend... Much love my friend!!! 💗🩷💖

@@JustDeannaJune it us truth, I approached the PO after that and asked him why did you not stop the clapping? He responded oh we will deal with it later. I told him the time to deal with it is when it happens! Of course nothing was ever said to the Congregation of 90 publishers about it, showing the Elders themselves approved of the clapping. But I seen more than that there. Including heavy alcoholism with one Elder and his best friend the CO! The CO then spending a team in rehab at the New York Branch stating he had depression issue's. Both the Elder and the CO died from Cancer in 2018 in their early 60's. But they ended their faithful course in death according to the Holy 8! You get publicly reproved for one event, they never were reproved, but announced how faithful they were. 🤔🤫

@@JustDeannaJune A corporation is not a religion. Back then they called it Society! The excuse they used to be incorporated was not required of a non profit organisation. To me corporate America was all the same, 😈 evil, so I researched and did not believe in the 1975 teaching Fred Franz talked about in his long talks. Because I did not swallow that lie, false teaching, 2 of the annointed in the Congregation made several attempts to remove me. Both accusations pure slander. The second attempt ended up with that annointed one being publicly reproved for slandering me. He never spoke to me again. When 75 came and went some Elders and others left at that time. For me I just did not have the time to worry about it. I had 2 young children, 4 and 3 years, so my viewpoint was no matter if it came in not, I still had to get up a work to feed house and care for them. So I never vowed obedience to an Organisation or a Society, but to Jesus our Lord and Savior. When someone was removed like I still greeted them to their surprise. To exercise love you cannot shun. Even your enemies Jesus requires you to assist them, to help them if they are in need. This shunning Doctrine comes from just one source, Satan! If Jehovah wants to destroy me because I show love and kindness to even my enemies so be it. Then I am nit a true Christian. The Organisation teaches Hatred, and the teachings now involve hate 💬 speech. Just review Hitlers speeches to how the GB teaches from the platform. And you will see a very similar pattern. Hate speech is easy to identify. I am hated by multiple Elders, including David Splane of the GB who I talked to over the phone. He ended up 🙊 speechless, because he knew what Elders were doing was not scriptural. Not from the God they claim to worship. Sorry for the long comment's 😅 but I deal with disappointment issues still in just how hypocritical the show of love is broadcast over the Org!

@@JustDeannaJune I only care what Christ Jesus thinks of me. Try too.

@@JustDeannaJune No one goes to the Father except through me. That's why. I still believe in Jehovah God. Your right, Jesus is not given the acknowledgment that he should. But, I don't believe in Trinity, I believe there is 144000 Kingdom heirs, there will be a Paradise Earth. I believe Jehovah is allowing the Watchtower is becoming the Stupid Prophets in the book of Isaiah. It is Jesus Christ that has the answers, not the Governing body of Jehovah's Witnesses. Some follow Apollos some cephas, some paul. Paul was not crucified for us, nor was the Governing body.

@@JustDeannaJune Thank you! I so agree. The lack of empathy & logic is like backwards thinking.