Dissecting a Divisive Character on Gilmore Girls 

I actually felt bad for Lindsay. She tried so hard to make Dean happy, when in reality, he was the problem.

i feel so bad for lindsay, imagine everyone in the town you live in absolutley WORSHIPPING this random girl u once went to school with who very publicly caused your marriage to break down.

Also, the way that she apologizes to Dean for answering his phone is so heartbreaking. It lowkey reminds me of how someone might attempt to placate an emotionally or physically abusive partner to avoid a blow up

Lindsey was never the villain. Rory was. It boggles my mind that we pick the mistress' side after everything she did to destroy their marriage. Dean is the worst husband and Lindsey deserved better.

A bad wife not even close. Dean was the bad husband. I think she was naive due to being young. Since they were married young, the house makes sense. The 50s housewife comment from Dean in the earlier seasons holds truth here. Lindsey becomes just that when she married Dean. She stays home and cooks for a man that expects that instead of appreciates it. I am fine with her being a stay at home wife. What I am not fine with is that she has to walk around eggshells with Dean and gets yelled at when she asks valid questions. He just yells at her a lot and I hated his treatment of her. She did nothing wrong.

No matter what we think of Lindsay,dean and rory betrayed her. Adultery isn' t right just because somebody doesn' t like Lindsay.

in my opinion, you can see the change in Lindsays personality. when we first see her, shes clearly confident and secure with herself around her friends and at that time; Dean. her parents definetely must have been controlling but outside of the house she was a well conditioned person. I don't think she was forced into the marriage but rather saw it as a chance of independence while making her parents happy. but when she got married to dean, she realises its just another controlling environment she can never please, and she slowly loses that confidence she radiated before.

I hate the “she does nothing” and “why doesn’t she get a job?” Part. They agreed to be a traditional couple. He goes to work. She handles the whole house. Being a stay at home mom is not nothing. It’s a lot of freaking work and raising humans is a lot of work. Then he decided he didn’t want that anymore so we’re supposed to think it’s ok that he cheated. It’s so dumb. Lindsey was highly misrepresented in this show in order to make Dean seem justified for cheating. She tried to make him happy. And he only used her as a rebound. Her reaction was fine considering she just got married and cheated on and is so embarrassed. I feel so bad for her. Dean is a jerk. There’s no other way to see it in my opinion.

It’s interesting hearing the point that Lindsay’s mom is way too involved in her daughter’s life when Lorelei is way too involved in Rory’s life. One mom pushed for her daughter to be a housewife and one pushed for her daughter to be an Ivy League student. And you see in that confrontation with the moms how the two of them just stand there silently upset.

i would’ve loved to see lindsay thrive in later seasons or the reboot. like finding herself and what SHE really wants and living her best independent life. i felt so bad for her

I'm so glad you made this video! Lindsay was such a disrespected character by both Dean and Rory. The only thing "wrong" with Lindsay is that she wasn't Rory. As much as I love the Gilmore Girls (and that extends to THE gilmore girls lorelai and rory), I can also 100% acknowledge how Rory and Dean were completely in the wrong for what they did to Lindsay.

I think we all agree Lindsey was the victim. It was a plot point once during Rory and Dean's relationship that he wanted a trad wife, I think it's just what both thought they wanted, but at the same time, the show had such pick me vibes, of looking down on any woman that wasn't ambitious and independent... I just guess that's what they thought feminism was, back then

I’m surprised there’s no mention of Dean’s whole “housewife” thing that came up when he started dating Rory and they watched Donna Reed together, it feels relevant

I feel like Rory dodged a bullet there, but she also made life harder for a girl that was already having a hard time.

Dean was the horrible one. Lindsey was perfectly fine and I never had any issues with her. She seemed like a good person. Dean was the one that painted her as being bad

I think what happened with Lindsay is she was raised with the old school mindset of becoming a wife and serving her husband would be her main role in life And what’s funny is in the earlier episodes of the show when dean was dating Rory he expressed desiring a similar relationship when they were watching Donna reed. So what happened is he did end up getting that type of relationship but didn’t realize the weight and responsibility it takes to sustain 2 people until he actually was put in that situation and he realized it’s not what he wanted anymore and that was their downfall

I ALWAYS sided with Lindsey here and felt awful for her. I was shocked and appalles when Rory and Dean slept together and I hated that entire storyline. When Dean goes home and Lindsey was so happy the meal she made actually tasted good just made me feel so sorry for her. And I thought about what a jerk Dean was. While I think what Rory did was horrible, Dean did lie to her. Told her his marriage was over. That it wasn't working. Etc. Dean is the true villain here. He lied and cheated. That said, Rory knew he was married and should have said that they can't be together until he's divorced. The whole situation is terrible and poor Lindsey. She was a sweet girl who was trying to be a good wife to her husband who was in love with someone else.

I always felt like Dean was a bad dude. He was possessive, prone to anger, and don't even get me started on when he dumped Rory for not saying she loved him back after 3 MONTHS of dating. He then proceeds to jump into a new relationship, love bomb her too like he did Rory, marry her super quick (my theory is so she wouldn't have time to find someone better like Rory did) and then treat her like shit. I dated a guy like Dean and they start out nice but end up like he treated Lindsay. Dean is abusive 100%

For me the most telling evidence about dean and Lindsay's relationship is the donna reed episode. It's clear from that episode that Dean just wants a wife that will wait for him at home and cook for him. Rory can't be that person, but at first Lindsay seems like she can. Obviously that's not a recipe for a happy relationship which is why Dean is always detached and emotionally neglecting of Lindsay, and Lindsay seems needy around him. Eventually Lindsay is forced to realize she can't be Donna Reed either, despite that being what she was taught all her life.

Let's also remember that Dean made Rory aware that he liked the idea of a wife at home while the man worked in season one.

I like Lindsey because she wanted basic things like a townhouse and a car. It’s not like she wasn’t working and expected a “Rolls Royce” and stand alone house at that age. Rory mentions her being tall and leggy but these are natural “free” traits she was born with, she isn’t jealous of her designer closet or expensive things, because Lindsey didn’t have them. I know she isn’t real but I really hope she got older and found a guy who would let her be a stay at home wife/mom and provided all the basic emotional/financial things she needed. We don’t get to know her much, but it’s clear she did nothing wrong, which makes the audience sympathize with her.

Their relationship reminds me a lot about an issue my mum and dad had. He always wanted a relationship with traditional gender roles. He would work and bring home the money, she would do the cooking, cleaning and childcare. My mum was not that into the idea on not working at all, because without kids she would just be waiting around all day for him to come home, so they agreed she would work a few hours each week and later had 3 kids. Then what happened: my mum would go to my dad for money frequently, to get groceries, schoolsupplies, winter coats for us kids, etc, and my dad was not happy. He always complained that everything was so expensive and was very stingy with money when it came to necessities, however, he was more than willing to splurge on things he valued, like vacations, so he wanted to save money (for a big vacation or whatever) and then get upset because my mum needed money for us kids and it had to come out if his vacation fund. He also picked up more shifts because in his mind, she demands it for her "luxury lifestyle". In response, my mum upped her hours as well, since we were old enough to spent a few hours by ourselves and she wanted to lift some of the burden off my dad so they could also spend more time againd. This was one of the things he said he resented her for when they split a few years later, that by getting a job and becoming more independant, she "stripped him of his manlyhood and made him feel obsolete". I think Dean also falls into this. He told Rory he wants a traditional wife and the postcard life, and I think when he got with Lindsay and found out what that is actually like, he found out it was not for him. But instead of working it out, he started projecting his unhappiness onto her, and because he couldn´t admit to himself that he is the core of the issue, he made her the bad guy to avoid responibility.

My headcannon is that Lindsay focused on her life, friends, and career for a few years. Then had an awesome meet cute with a sweet guy and ended up marrying and having kids. Maybe she stays home full time, maybe she doesn’t, but I like to think she’s surrounded by chaos and love. ❤

My interpretation is that Dean and Lindsays mum pressured Lindsay and Lindsay went along with it, being unconfrontational, wanting to make them happy and too young to know what she really wants. Lindsays mum seems very traditional and ecstatic for her daughter to be married and have grandkids and Dean really did like the Donna Reid concept in season 1.

The thing is, Dean said he wanted a wife like Lindsay: stay at home, sweet, unassuming, eager to please Dean. Things Rory and Lorelei made fun of him for. But Dean was absolutely hung up on Rory.

People sort of follow in their parents' footsteps.. Lindsey copying her mom maybe.. then in Year in the Life.. Lane is working at the antique shop just like Mrs. Kim and Rory is pregnant and broke just like when Lorelai was.. and Jess is a bachelor with a stable job like Luke.. and Logan is CEO or something just like Mitchum...

They seemed like kids playing house and realized that it’s not fun.

This was a great analysis and really gets to the root of the problem with Lindsey; that she's written inconsistently and this greatly affects how the audience views the character. I also think one of your last lines just nails the entire Rory/Dean/Lindsey dynamic; the adults have to step in because the KIDS can't handle the situation. Lindsey and Dean should never have married that young and that quickly and they clearly did not know how to function in what was a very adult situation because, you know, they're kids!

I started dating my husband when I was 17. Six months later (I was 18 by then), he proposed, and just 5 months after that, we were married. Still happily married 9 years later and pregnant with our fourth child. It happens! Especially in a small town when you've known each other for years before you start officially dating.

It’s also worth pointing out that in an early episode when Dean and Rory are dating, they are watching the Donna Reed show and Dean says that he wants that kind of lifestyle. He wants a wife that wears nice dresses and cooks meals and is basically a homemaker. Rory mocks him for it and makes it pretty clear that that’s not her. I think with Lindsey, Dean saw his opportunity to have the wife he told Rory he wanted in season 1. So it wouldn’t surprise me if Dean and Lindsey maybe had the same idea of their ideal marriage and bonded over that which is why Dean proposed. So he also probably didn’t want Lindsey working because that’s not what they agreed upon before they got married and that would go against his ideal marriage.

I am so glad that Rory broke up with dean. I saw his controlling behavior in the relationship and it came through in that creepy episode where Rory dresses up as a housewife to serve Dean dinner ( I still can’t rewatch that episode). There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife, but it just seemed like at points Dean was pressuring Rory and was a tad bit controlling. Rory wasn’t perfect either but I’m glad that she didn’t choose Dean. And I also get like Lindsay didn’t get enough character development. I would have loved to see/hear her speak but she had very limited lines.

I feel like Dean could have gone down two different paths becoming directly abusive, we see his anger issues while he is with Rory (Lorelei is notably never present), or he could get his anger under control. Sometimes his anger is portrayed by the fanbase as being about jealousy but it starts way before Jess is in the picture. Anger is also often the only negative emotion boys are allowed to have. Lindsay was better off without Dean, I like to think she got everything she wanted in a healthy relationship.

I just realized Dean and Lindsay's public breakup is kinda a mirror of how Dean and Rory broke up so publicly at the Dance marathon

When Dean was dating Rory and they had the fight over that old tv show, he made it very clear that he liked the idea of a stay at home wife who cooks and cleans for her husband. So I think it's Dean that wanted Lindsay to not work

I think they got married too young. Lindsey and Dean needed more maturing to know what it means to have a good partnership. It doesn't mean getting your way all the time; it is about compromise. Even a housewife has autonomy and is allowed to speak for herself and make decisions for the household. And even a husband that has responsibilities like making the bulk of the money doesn't boss her around. In of themselves, Lindsay was perfect for Dean. Rory is immensely career-driven and opposed that lifestyle as seen in season 1. Rory wouldn't be the type to always make food for Dean - she lived off of take out with Lorelai and it would be a ton of food for how much she eats. Their lifestyles would not be compatible with each other.

I think her downfall was simply not being the person that Dean truly wanted to be with. She deserved way way better.

i think that linsey was kinda raised to be a housewife..like viewing her mom nd how linsey approaches stuff

On this show, it is more normal for the mom to be more involved in the daughter's life. Lorelai has an absurd involvement with Rory, so why shouldn't Lindsay have a similar over-attached mother? That seems more normalized in this show's universe.

For me it was like Dean sold himself the idea that getting married would resolve his life, I think he always resented that Rory was a career driven person. So, lno wonder why when Jesse came up with the same love for books as Rory, Dean was out of place. Rory just wanted Dean because he reminded of the time things were perfect for her.

Dean never really got over Rory and for some reason Rory became “interested” (putting this in quotation marks since I’m not sure if she really did) in him after his marriage and that lead to the cheating-Lindsay was never at fault, her story reminds me of the stories other girlfriends/wife’s tell. How their boyfriends/husbands never got over their first love. Even though Dean never got over Rory it struck a nerve with how Rory took advantage of that, like why did she do that? She never cared for Lindsay and honestly I feel like she didn’t even like Dean after they broke things off so Rory could go with Jess.

People are divided on Lindsay??? I felt so bad for her! That scene where Dean blows up at her for touching his phone? I will hate him forever for that. All Lindsay did was try. She was being the type of wife Dean himself told Rory he wanted at the beginning of their relationship. She had her parents there to help because she didn't know how to do all the things a SAHW is supposed to do. And I doubt Dean was spending much time helping around the house the way "a man is supposed to", so yeah, her dad was involved, too. People getting on Lindsay for wanting a nice life on 1 income, like DEAN HIMSELF SAID WAS HIS IDEAL, is like all these dudes out here wanting a "traditional wife", but then complaining about gold diggers. She deserved so much better. She was a better wife than Dean deserved, and Rory was horrible for judging her like that when she of ALL people should know that's what Dean wanted.

Dean used Lindsey as a band aid for his hurt over Rory and his break up. The night before his wedding, he gets drunk and asks Luke why Rory couldnt love him. Lindsey was a teenage girl, seemingly used to getting what she wants and needs from her parents, so i dont think she questioned if her desires were teneble or fair. Either way, girl was used badly.

I also have always wondered what happened after the fight with jess and dean. My best guess was lindsey asked what was going on/if dean was over rory ( rightfully so) and in what I assume was probably a defensive and aggressive action (based on dean's previous and future behavior) dean doubled down on being over rory by proposing. Like you said, lindsey was fully conditioned to be a young stay at home wife so it would make sense she would go along with it. I also think the episode in season 1 about the donna reed show is relevant to all this. Dean said he liked the idea of a doting wife who handled the house and cooking. After breaking up with rory it seems like dean's goal was to find someone that fit this ideal.

i believe the reason they made lindsay a stay at home spouse was because dean expressed how he thought that would be nice in the donna reid episode, to show that’s not actually what he wants in practice,

I think their marriage could've lasted. She would've gotten pregnant eventually and Dean was working pretty hard. The only issue was Rory. Instead of her encouraging Dean & Lindsey, she was using Dean as emotional support because she knew he still simped for her and she wasn't doing well at Yale her first year. She was insecure cause Jess ditched her and people weren't worshipping her at Yale. The second she gets confident again, she ditches Dean for Logan. It's amazing the way a marriage can collapse when you let people get involved. So the issue begins and ends with Rory. Sure Dean still had feelings for her, but he definitely wasn't trying to cheat. Rory kept calling him for help when she KNEW he was married. She could've at least gotten closer to Lindsey but she didn't even try. This is the moment that we realize just how conceited Rory is, when she cheats and says "he was my Dean first". Nobody gets that much praise all their life and doesn't become conceited. We can call Rory a covert narcissist. I don't really blame Rory tbh I blame the town. They needed to calm down overall, but I guess they felt bad cause she's fatherless. I think if Rory grew up in the city like Jess, she would have wayyy more potential, but the small town environment sheltered her too much.

In a way I think Lindsay's character is a sort of foil for Emily, which I wish they had leaned into more. Throughout the series we see Emily questioning her own role as a mother, a wife, and her independence. She makes multiple references to the importance of finding a husband and how that was something she always needed to strive for growing up. With Lindsay we see this idea actively being played out, sort of like Lane getting married and having the twins is a parallel to Lorelai not getting married and having Rory as a single parent. Lindsay always seemed like such a sweet character and I wish we got more of her, although even with the little we got, it's easy to sympathize with her considering Dean's actions.

I think Lindsay was the one who wanted to stay in Stars Hollow and Dean made her pay for it by staying at home and expecting her to actually play the role of the housewife she thoughtlessly picked by wanting to stay in Stars Hollow in the first place. It felt like they wanted to rush into a phase of their lives they thought would give their relationship more stability. If Lindsay would have had an idea what to do after school apart from being with Dean and Dean would have gone to New Haven, their relationship probably could have worked out, at least for longer as it did.

About leaving the phone in the couch cushions: In the early 2000s it wasn’t unusual to just leave your phone at home when you went out. People weren’t super attached to their phones yet and it wasn’t quite yet the social norm to always have your phone on your person at all times. So it wasn’t that weird for him to just leave it on the couch.

Yep, literally lost all respect for Rory after how she treated Lindsey. Also Lorelei standing up for her adulterous daughter just felt gross. Don’t even get me started on Dean.

I think we can tell from Dean's relationship with Rory that he was the one who thought he wanted a stay-at-home wife. Maybe he truly did, but he was naive to think it would work out that way straight out of high school. We don't see her express any of her desires, a hint that maybe she doesn't have free expression at home, either with her parents or with Dean. Her parents and Dean both seem to instill this idea that she needs to just be a housewife. That's what makes it all the more upsetting for her when he complains about her to, and eventually cheats with, Rory. Rory's the opposite of what Dean said he wanted in a wife.

First up, love this series of analysis. They’re a great breakdown on a show that exposes dysfunctional family mental health problems and their impact on communities and society in regards to toxic culture. This one, in particular, gives us a lot from such a brief character. There's a couple of things worth noting that were not mentioned in this one though.. There's a very early episode in the series where Dean tells Rory he likes the idea of women adopting the 1950s role of wearing a pretty dress, and being a house wife (a domestic with benefits). No job. Stays at home. Cooks and cleans. Waits on her husband. Unconditional respect. Puts her own dreams and aspirations behind his. Knows 'her place'. Dean’s entire character arc has established the foundations here. He likes to dominate and control women he sees as potential mates. His jealousy regarding Rory is also present with Lindsay, someone he started dating as a means of manipulating Rory. Who she can see, where she can go, what she can do. It narcissism bordering on malignant. Dean also demonstrates all the hallmarks of escalating toward domestic violence. He makes accusations founded in projection and gas-lighting to conceal his obsession and then affair with Rory. His reshaping of facts to cast himself as the victim, and assigns blame to the girls. Both girls have been, in different ways, raised to accept a lot of that nonsense. Even if there were problems in the marriage, and even though he lied, the affair between Dean and Rory is indefensible. You might also recognise similar 'values' in the role Emily plays for Richard, and that Lindsay not only looks like Lorelai, but appears to fill the behaviour Emily and Richard expected her to adopt toward a husband. It’s a juxtaposition to show us what Lorelai could have been. An endless cycle that can rarely be broken, and too often returns to what it was. Which brings us to the confrontation between Lorelai and Lindsay’s mother, with the girls in tow, in the town square. A particularly awkward seen because it’s orchestrated for the story. After the revelation of the affair and marriage breakdown, why would Rory of Lorelai go there? It reeks of some primal urge to reclaim social positioning, to assert righteousness. The aim Lindsay’s mother has there is to get even in anger, to seek out and humiliate and alienate Rory by making a huge public scene for the entire community to witness and spread through gossip. In her arrogance, she fails to notice she has humiliated her own daughter in the process. It lets us know that her parents, like Dean, only care about themselves, not her. It also shows us that Lorelai is compromising her own beliefs. She must defend her daughter, who has made selfish choices, but in so doing sacrifices someone that is like she once was. While she tries to walk a fine line, Lorelai ultimately adds harm to Lindsay to protect Rory, and in so doing fails to let Rory learn a very important lesson to avoid repetition and escalation. Pay attention and you suddenly realise Lorelai is doing what Richard did when the character of Lorelai was attacked by Christopher’s father. The sad thing here is that Rory and Lindsay may have been friends under other circumstances, and both of them walk away with scars and bad lessons that (one way or another) shape who they will become. Luke, in case you missed it, represents what happens when good people are aware of things… but say and do nothing for fear of individual and community repercussions. To avoid conflict, Luke must compromise his very nature by abandoning people who need help. The voice of reason others forever seek to silence to maintain what they want rather than get what they need. Haven’t seen season 6 and on yet, but we have seen glimpses of hope for Lindsay after Dean. Her friendship with Michel. Both light up when they see one another. He is less abrasive around her, and she comes out of her shell. These two would be really good for one another, even if it didn't evolve to more. I doubt her parents would approve of that relationship though.

Honestly i wish this video was longer! Great analysis and inferences :) ive seen lots of theories about Dean but I've never heard anyone discuss the influence of Lindey's parents

Love how you always pick characters to analize others wouldn't :)

I also think a side point the show creators were trying to do with Dean/Lindsey, is that marriage at such a young age is sort of destined to breakdown. Because that sort of backs up the idea that IF Lorelei and Christopher had gone through with it right out of high school like their parents wanted, it never would have worked out since just like Lindsey and Dean, they were both still just kids who didn’t want to have to live under their parents thumb (sort of the way we see Lindsey’s parents portrayed as being a third party in the marriage.) I don’t know though, that was just my take.

I was just thinking that I'll bet Lindsay's mom was the one telling her she didn't need to get a job all she needed to do was stay home take care of the house and pump out babies that's how her mom came across to me and Lindsey just didn't know any better and even if she wanted those things for herself she was still too conditioned and sheltered to truly understand what it actually meant.

The Lindsey-Dean relationship always felt so rushed. Seeing how controlling her parents are I thought she just wanted out and married the first boy that came along and seemed to be nice. Maybe she even faked a "pregnancy-scare" to make it happen the faster the better, I can't imagine why else a teenage boy would've get married so quickly. Clearly neither of them had any idea how a grown-up relationship works and had very different expectations. It was doomed from the very beginning.

When Dean and Rory dated it’s like he became addicted to her. Started sweetly but as time went on he revealed himself to be super intense and overwhelming. Rory is someone who appreciates having time to herself and will become frustrated when obstacles get in her way of her goals. They just weren’t going to work. Him wanting the house wife thing (Donna Reid) and Lindsay wanting to be the house wife, made these two seem really good for each other. The obvious issue with these two is that they were so bloody young, but I also think the “Rory addiction” was still in effect. In my opinion Lindsay wasn’t this innocent girl that a lot of people view her as. We see her arguing with Dean about him not spending enough time with her because he’s always working yet she wants him to work hard so she can have luxuries only money can buy. It’s like she expected Dean to be in two places at once and would start to whine when he couldn’t magically clone himself. Now don’t get me wrong, she most definitely is not awful I just had some frustrations with her. In saying all of that, doesn’t matter how south the relationship has gotten, there’s NO excuse for cheating. I’m not surprised Dean cheated with Rory, and not surprised Rory was the other woman. Rory kept referring to him as “my Dean” when he’s literally a husband to someone else? She has to get what she wants or she throws a tantrum like a kid. Cheating makes you a shit person. There’s never a valid reason to cheat. Dean is an ass hole for what he did. Rory is an ass hole for the part she played. Lindsay had her frustrating moments, but she never wronged Dean or Rory.

I just realized maybe why Lindsay was cold to Rory in the beginning of their relationship with Dean because maybe Dean was saying bad things about Rory to her.

considering how much dean was into the whole donna reed prospect, i wouldn’t be surprised if he convinced lindsay to be a stay at home wife🤷‍♀️ but i also think that lindsay doesn’t seem like she would be against it. it’s also probably partially a nod to that donna reed episode and the fact that dean likes this dynamic

The truth is the writers wanted us to hate Lindsay with the "I'm married, we're supposed to have fun" scene. Like I didn't realize how bad she was portrayed, when in reality, she wasn't a bad wife (because she wanted to make Dean happy), she's just immature. Dean, however, was not only marrying her with Rory on his mind (plus lurking on her life when everything was 'falling apart'), but also treating Lindsay so horrible (yelling, arguing, hitting things) which is clearly a sign of someone potentially violent. Even I don't understand how some people calls him "the best boy". I'm just glad Lindsay found out Rory's letter, because she clearly deserves better than these two.

The writers were definitely making some very irrational choices for this character. The problem was Lindsay is actually lovely and quite a good match for Dean, but since Lindsay isn't the protagonist, she was doomed. So the writers had to invent a bunch of weird issues to drive them apart. Lindsay deserved better. Here's how it would have actually gone. They would move to the city to go to school. He would get a bachelor's while she got a certificate in dental hygiene. She would find an dental office job and support them til he graduated, and maybe the first year or two of his career. Then they would move back to Stars Hollow, so she could be close to her parents when the babies start coming. She'd be a stay at home mom, while Dean got his construction business off the ground. She'd go back to part time when the youngest started kindergarten. They would have every chance at being perfectly comfortable.

after watching this it made me think about that episode, in i believe season 1, were dean told rory that he likes the idea of having a housewife, someone to come home to, someone that has dinner ready when he gets home. and rory thinks that's awful and he says he's an old fashion kinda guy. but when he actually gets that he doesn't want it. i don't remember if he says he wants lindsay to get a job but it feels like he does. he wanted a housewife and that's what he got. maybe he wanted rory to be his housewife but that wasn't what she wanted. maybe he wanted lindsay to get a job but that wasn't what she wanted. it almost feels like he wanted lindsay to be rory 2.0. what he wanted out of rory was what lindsay gave to him and what he wanted out of lindsay was what rory gave to him. (hope that all made sense)

My backstory was always that Dean and Lindsay both had very traditional, religious parents that we don't see much of (except Lindsay's mom), who put a lot of pressure on them to get married young and have a traditional family. Because otherwise getting married right out of high school would be pretty odd in New England around 2000.

I always get so excited seeing one of your videos! Your analysis' are so interesting and really make me see all there characters in a different light - each time I'm like "DUH, why haven't I thought of it that way before?" Love it, make more please!

We always talk about justice for Lane, but we also need a justice for Lindsay movement. Seems like her greatest 'flaw' was that she was the anti-Rory.

In my opinion, both Dean and Lindsay really loved this image of the conservative small town life: wife stays at home to clean, cook, do laundry and later care for the kids, while the husband works. Dean liked that image too, as we see in Season 1 with Donna Reed. However, once they end up in that scenario (Lindsay's mother didn't help), they both find out they hate it. Subsequently, Dean takes his frustration out on her, and cheats.

7:23 also like lindsay is very much like rory but more of a people pleaser and so like we already know dean likes the idea of having a traditional wife from s1 when they watch the donna reed show and dean defends the concept of that show. it can be argued that dean pressured lindsay to stay home by saying "ill provide for you so you dont have to work and you can just do whatever you want" which is plausible for a teenage girl to want these things you know anyways i love her as a character and i hate how horribly she was treated tbh

Lindsay is someone who was smothered by her parents her whole life and learned to want what they wanted for her because she didn’t know anything else. I’d infer from the scenes that Lindsay’s parents were the ones to suggest the two get married so quickly because of how much they seem to want Lindsay to be a housewife and mother, and a job would distract her from those goals. Dean then would have gone along with it because he’s expressed wanting a traditional wife in the past and he’s desperately trying to move on from rory, who’s nothing like that. Because Lindsay can’t really imagine a life for herself, she tries to express her wants in the confines of her controlled life. A townhouse would afford her some separation from her parents, while a car would afford her more autonomy and mobility. It could even ease a commute time if Dean wanted to go back to school. However, because we get so much of Dean’s perspective on the relationship, the show makes it look to the audience like she’s asking too much of him. But it would make sense for him to view it that way if he doesn’t really know whether or not these desires are coming from her or her parents.

Yes! Justice for Lindsey 🎉 she literally did nothing wrong. She was hurt for no reason also. Dean should have never married her. Luke called it all. Poor girl just fell in love with the wrong person early. And the way you broke it down in this video is very on point with the situation that played out. Can you do Jason “Digger” Styles next ? I’d love to her how you feel about him.

I don’t think Lindsey was a good or bad wife. I think that Dean was a horrible husband and an asshole for asking Lindsey to marry him while still in love with Rory ( that said Rory is very much in the wrong too!). I do think Dean moving on and dating again is good but it shouldn’t have led to an engagement/ marriage right out of High School.

There’s two sides to this. First, Dean and Rory should have never cheated on Lindsey. There is no excuse. Lindsey’s actions in no way justified the way she was treated. Now, a look at Lindsey: she just graduated from high school and does nothing all day? Not school, work she wasn’t living in the 1700’s. As a parent of a teenager during this time period It would have been normal for her to have had a job, or go to school, possibly both, even though she was married. Secondly, she was very demanding and childlike. She expected Dean to work, she didn’t support his wanting to go to school, and he had to foot all the bills without her contributing one cent. She was very young, immature and she should never have gotten married in the first place. It seems like she wanted to play house and Dean wanted a distraction from Rory. Again, her actions did not justify what Rory and Dean did. They were all babies with a lot of growing up to do.

I appreciate this video. I feel like cheating and or having affairs has in a weird way become normalized and glamorized in television. Yeah, it’s sweet to think of Rory and Dean together , but let’s be real: Rory got sick of Dean and only wanted him back when he had moved on. I always felt bad for Lindsay. How can anyone compete with the “beloved Rory who does no wrong?”

Rewatching the rory and dean first time scene, I felt as though the consent was muddy on Rory's side. Yes she was a grown up, but she was under the impression that Dean had communicated to lindsay that he wanted to separate. Dean was very happy having a wife at home he could control, gaslight and emotionally abuse, while also sleeping with Rory even though he knew her first time was a big deal for her. To me it just didn't appear as if Rory was fully informed, so her first time doesn't read as completely consensual

As someone who was raised very traditionally, I think it’s easy for outsiders to underestimate how ingrained some expectations are. I worked after I was married, but was judged for it. My guess is that it’s parental pressure to stay home, not so much a discussion as a couple or even an expectation that Dean has. From a different angle (and somewhat contradictory), my parents tried to prevent my brother from marrying young but there was no stopping him. So her parents might have not exactly given permission for her to get married so young, but still wanted to be involved/have control in her life.

To me the townhouse thing always felt like something Lindsay suggested because Dean was unhappy living with her parents. Lindsays parents are overly involved in her life and Dean moves in with them as Lindsays husband and he feels uncomfortable around them - probably because they act like parents/adults and it makes his whole marriage seem stupid. So because he’s unhappy the person he probably complains about them too is Lindsay, likely wanting her to tell them to back off but Lindsay doesn’t do conflict and so instead suggested moving out. Dean runs with the idea and to him it’s Lindsays idea, to her it’s more like - Dean was unhappy so this is what will fix it without upsetting her parents. Her mum probably helps deliver the food because Lindsay doesn’t have a car. Especially in your recap poor Lindsay comes off as so conflict averse it makes me feel that she said yes when Dean proposed not just because she liked him but because it’s total out of her wheelhouse to say no to someone who proposes.

Remember Dean said he thought a stay at home wife would be something he'd really like when watching TV with Rory and that was a whole episode thing? I always presumed he had rebounded from Rory and her values by deliberately telling Lindsay he wanted a stay at home wife and possibly just cancelled on college cause he always felt it was Rory's thing, not his (which it was). I think Lindsay was also under pressure from her own family (with her traditional stay at home mother) to do the same aka 'that's what marriage is and you two kids are married'.

This is my opinion on Lindsey, I think that when Dean first meets her, they are quite similar in their goals and aspirations, I feel like it was kind of sped out to us but it's so vague that it can be hard to connect the dots, I don't know if I have but this is just my theory. I think Lindsey is a lot like Rory, someone who liked school and did relatively well in it but she's also quite shy and reserved, she starts dating Dean and everything goes well, they're both going to go to the same college that they got into and says she's coming with him I think he does mean they're both going to that university, that is how I read it at least, but then everything changes when he proposes to her, if you've seen the secret life of the American teenager, and ABC family show, there are a lot of similarities between that show and the show when it comes to Dean and Lindsey, in regards to characters like Adrian and Ben or Amy and Ricky, Amy and Ricky had a child and her kind of being forced to be together because of that child, that they had in school, but Ricky has a lot of issues and it takes him a long time to get there, whereas a similar issue happens when there love interests Adrian and Ben get together, they then end up getting pregnant and Adrian's father forces been to marry her and for her to keep the baby, the baby ends up being still born, sorry spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the show, but then that wrecks their marriage and they got married way too young not only that but they didn't really love each other, it all started as revenge for their interest getting back together because they had a child together, so that whole marriage was just a complete disaster, however like I said it was their parents who forced them into it and then when things didn't work out their parents blamed them rather than blaming themselves for forcing their children into that situation, they apologise for it and acknowledge that what they did was wrong, but specifically Adrian's father basically forces her to keep the baby because he's against abortion and then force has been to marry her and then when the baby is still born and their whole marriage falls apart, he then wants them to still stay married even though they didn't even wanna get married in the first place, I'm not saying that this is the same thing as what's happening with and Dean, however I can see the similarities there, where Lindsey started out a lot like Adrian, someone who did well in school and was good at it, with a bright future, Adrian wanting to be a lawyer and Lindsey we don't know what she wanted to do, but then her parents intervened and we don't know if it was Dean's decision to marry her but suggesting that it was and that he forever reason decides to marry her, despite still having feelings for Rory and rushing into it, his feelings for Rory could even be the reason why he proposes to Lindsey we don't know, but it's also possible that maybe her parents pushed him into proposing, either way they get married away too young and too soon while Dean still has feelings for Rory we know this from the episode where he confronts Luke during his bachelor night and ends up drunk and spins the night at Luke's, showing that the whole marriage Lindsey was a huge mistake but he still went through with it anyway, Luke tells Rory not to show up to the wedding but I think she should've because I don't think they should've gone through with it I think that's where everything fell apart at least in my opinion, if she had gone to the wedding then they wouldn't have gotten married and thenthe whole stuff with Dean and Lindsey that happens later on wouldn't have happened. I think it is possible that Lindsey is being pressured by her parents specifically her mother into this marriage life with Dean, they're also some parallels to I believe season one when they are talking about the Don Reid show and Rory dresses up for Dean like Donna Reed, I am drawing parallels to that episode because later when Lindsey is at home cooking dinner for Dean it's a very similar type situation her mother wants her to be the stay at home wife cooking and cleaning while Dean goes to work, the only problem is that they're still in high school and Way too young to have only only one of them work, it seems like Lindsey's mother is pushing her into that life of dropping out of university and staying at home while Dean also drops out and gets a job, having that suburban lifestyle of those small towns, think Gaston from Beauty and the Beast or Anne of Green Gables or things like that where you have the stay at home wife and the man goes off to work, the only problem is that they're just fresh out of high school, again this is just purely might take based on all the watches of the show as well as other shows like the secret life of the American teenager and drawing comparisons in terms of things like the way that their parents behave, pointed out in this video, it's very clear that Lindsey's parents have a huge involvement in her life and Dean's life to the point where in that environment, showing that it was a huge mistake for him to get married to Lindsey and it's probably what pushed her mother into wanting her to have that life her mother wants her to be a stay at home wife and stay at mother she's asking when they're gonna have children she is always around cooking and cleaning trying to teach Lindsey how to cook and clean, she's mentioning how she should've taught Lindsey to cook and clean earlier when she was younger because then she can be the perfect wife 14, playing into that small town life, which again there is nothing wrong with, it just seems like that wasn't something that Dean wanted and then he even mentioned to Luke how he's stuck in that small town and he can't leave and basically draw a comparison to him and Luke when that's not necessarily true because Luke is not in the same situation but we just see how bitter Dean is to the point where he feels like he's trapped there even after his marriage with Lindsey doesn't work out, obviously that scene I mentioning is from after him and Rory break up, but it seems like he was so connected to Rory that he married Lindsey specifically so he could have a reason to get over worry but then because he still had feelings for her he cheated on Lindsey with Rory and then Rory chose Logan over him he just completely fell apart, I know a lot of people talk about him being the best boyfriend for Rory and how good he was to the beginning and I believe that he was right for her at the point in time that they dated, however just based on how he acts in later seasons, it's clear that he was too attached to her and that he wanted more for his life and he blames her for what happened to his life when a lot of his decisions were obviously his own and some of it isn't his fault a lot of it is which is really unfortunate, he seems to be doing better in the revival, but I have my own personal with the revival in terms of the creator handled certain characters I think he was handled better in the revival like how I think Jess was handled better in the revival, however I think that a lot of mistakes were made throughout the show whether intentionally unintentionally and intentionally it may have to prove a point or show something that was easily brushed over because it wasn't so easily explained as like mentioned here in this video, we don't really see things from Lindsey's point of view and even Dean we don't really see much from his point of view either, it's mostly from the point of view of characters like the Gilmore girls or their grandparents, so we do see more from Dean than Lindsey, we still don't really know his point of view on a lot of things either and it's just really unfortunate that things ended up the way they did, I still stand by the idea that I think Lindsey's parents really pushed her into that lifestyle and it may have not been something she wanted either which could be why she ran out without talking to felt embarrassed or acted the way she did, it seems like she's under a lot of pressure by her parents as well to live that lifestyle even if it's not something she wants, however we don't know this for sure as we don't get to see things from her point of view, the worst part I think is that her mum then blames Rory for cheating when she really should be blaming Dean and the fact that he got married too soon, but it just goes to show still how much influence Lindsey's mother has over her to the point where she yells at Lorelai and tries to make it all about Rory, when Dean was the one who lied to Rory, Rory is still obviously at fault but Dean also shouldn't have cheated on Lindsey, but he did because he still had feelings for Rory, again showing that he just got married way too early and for the wrong reasons.

I will forever have so much empathy for Lindsay, she seemed so sweet and lovely and didn't deserve any of it.

I love the silhouette of the cat at the end. :) Lindsay was given a bad rap that she didn't deserve. I completely agree with your assessment of her at the end. She was so very young when she and Dean married, and she hadn't yet had any chance to come into her own or to learn how to stand up for herself. Her parents had always done everything for her and sheltered her, and Lindsay was conditioned into being the woman she seemed to be turning into. I hope that after she left Dean, that she was able to break away from her parents' stranglehold on her life and find out who she really was. I think that Lindsay could've been a likeable person on the show if she was given a proper chance to be. Rory's affair with Dean was the when I first really started to dislike Rory and Dean. They should never have gotten back together since Dean was with Lindsay, but when Rory wanted someone or something, she didn't care who she got to get it, and that was seen clearly at this time.

i like how so much of this show is up to speculation about what characters said to each other "off screen." And there's no "off screen" because it's a TV show. It's really well made.

I agree, I always felt bad for Lindsay and never thought she was an 'evil' character. Her behaviors always remind me of someone who grew up in the like stricter christian liftstyle. Staying home, taking care of the husband, always obeying the parents and then spouse. I wish we had seen her go on to better things, like in A Year in the Life seen her charcter grown into a fully independent person who was just happy with life.

There was an episode during the relationship with Rory and Dean that opened up about how Dean would like to have a housewife. To cook, clean, and maintain the house while Dean would be the only one to work. If I remember correctly, he said it was because he was raised like that in his family. So, it’s kinda ironic how you see Lindsay trying to be a housewife, however, Dean is complaining about Lindsay being a housewife.

I really enjoyed how comprehensive this was. I liked that you went over every scene and properly delved into it. Such a great analysis!

I wouldn't make excuses for any of Rory's horrendous behavior, but I do understand why she wrote that letter. She had just had her first sexual experience. It happened fairly quickly and ended very abruptly. She was filled with all of these feelings and emotions with nowhere to put them. I completely understand her need to write things out. What I don't understand is Lorelai agreeing to give it to Dean. She is her mother, not her bestie.

I don't think Lindsay was a bad wife. I think she was simply young. She got married, didn't attend school, did not work, and was encouraged by her mom to cook and clean. I won't say it's OK if she really did want to be a housewife. She probably didn't have guidance and resorted to being a housewife, which does not equal her making that decision herself.

About the fact that Lyndsay doesn’t work... We’ve all seen the Donna Reed episode right? It’s precisely what Dean wanted, and it even leads to a fight between Rory and Dean. It’s so hypocritical of Dean to blame Lindsay for complying with HIS marital requirements

I think there are reasonable situations where you as a partner can say you do not want a partner talking to someone else. I had an ex that would go and run to girls that would do cruel things. I know it is reflective on him, in more ways then one. But one of the women was a groomer who would say all kinds of nasty things about me, because she wanted him. I think it was completely reasonable for me to ask him not to have any contact with her especially if he had valued our relationship. So Lindsay requesting Dean not have contact with Rory is actually reasonable especially after you see the end results. I do think Lindsay probably was use to trying to make people happy, it can be debilitating to have overbearing parents. I think she would have found her own. I don't think there was a problem with them getting married so young, mature people can do it well. There were many external circumstances that preyed upon their relationship, most of all Rory. Who treated Dean as a toy she didn't want to play with anymore and than when someone else wanted it, she got possessive. I am not saying they would not have had other problems but Rory in my opinion was a predator to that relationship.

Okay, so Dean makes it clear early on in his relationship with Rory that he favors more of a traditional relationship. Thus, Rory dresses up as a 50's house wife and cooks him dinner to try and please him/make fun of how ridiculous she thinks it is. My guess is that when Dean got with Lindsey, he was looking for someone more traditional. He found it. She's more of the housewife type. Then he gets angry when she wants him to provide more of the life she's been raised to expect. They got married young. Dean wasn't over Rory and married the rebound, then resented her for it and cheated on her. Dean and Rory are the problem.

Lindsay's only crime was wanting a "traditional" marriage with the man-boy she loved (which, while not for everyone, is a perfectly valid life choice). It's not her fault that the person she fell for was a mediocre dipshit. However, it's also a good case-study in why you shouldn't get married when you are that young. No one knows who they really are or what they really want right out of high school. At that age, we're all still becoming the final version of ourselves. Dean sucked ass, but his fault was not in later realizing that he ultimately didn't really want to be with Lindsay. It was in being stupid enough to think that he was emotionally mature enough to be ready for that kind of commitment at the age of 18 in the first place (and also in cheating on his wife like a fucking goon instead of just going to her and having a hard, but necessary, conversation). I like to believe that this whole situation made Lindsay take some time to figure herself out, try new things, and hopefully one day find someone who wasn't a complete asshat to spend her life with on more equal terms.

Rory calling Lindsay out for not working but Rory doesn’t have a job for almost all of the show!

lindsay is my baby i love her so much dean didn’t deserve her🫶🏼🫶🏼

I’m not sure if many would agree with me, but rewatching the series as an adult, Dean comes off as an abusive boyfriend/husband. I would be scared to be with someone like him, so my mind goes to sympathy for Lindsay. She’s with Dean cause she isn’t strong enough to have her own voice or values.

So many great characters that we never get to see more of after their plot line runs out.

I don't think she was a bad wife. I think she was young and hadn't learned to communicate what she wanted in a relationship. And from what we see of her mom, she was probably the one pushing them to get married so soon and so young. And maybe she did want to be a stay-at-home wife, maybe she just couldn't find a job. It didn't seem like there was much variety in Stars Hollow for jobs unless they wanted to work at the diner, the Inn, or they were Kirk. Most people we see with jobs seemed to just own their own business. Luke had his diner, Patty had the dance studio, Taylor had multiple businesses, Mrs. Kim had her antique store, Jackson had his farm, Gypsy owned the autoshop, etc. So like maybe part of her wanting a car was so she could commute to a job that was out of town?

Dean also came from a family where the mom stayed at home. That created conflict between him and Rory. I think it’s interesting that he got what his parents had, but as soon as he did, he realized that he didn’t want it.

My thought is that Lindsay’s mom was a stay at home mom and now a housewife, so that’s what Lindsay is used to and what she grew up wanting. (I do not think there is any problem with this in itself. I also want to be a stay at home mom. I *want* to care for my family and my home. The difference is that I know I have to work hard until then so that we can financially make that happen. I don’t think Lindsay has an understanding of all the work that needs to be done to make those goals happen). She was probably very sheltered from financial struggle conversations so I don’t think she has any reason to understand it now as a young wife. Those are things that should be discussed while dating and engaged, but neither her or Dean show signs that they are good at communicating like that in their marriage. I agree that in terms of this marriage, the fault goes to Dean. Lindsay certainly has her own faults but Dean is the one who threw it all away. Lindsay doesn’t get a lot of character in the show, but she seems mostly innocent and naive. I admire how hard she tried to be nice to Rory even though she was Dean’s ex. And I don’t think it was wrong at all for her to ask Dean not to talk to Rory after the incident in the grocery store. If I found out my husband was bad mouthing me and our marriage to his ex???? Helll no. While yes she could have been less public with the outburst at Dean…I get it. I can’t imagine the heartbreak and rage to find out your husband has been cheating on you, especially after she’s clearly been bending over backwards to try to be the perfect wife for him.

I actually have a theory that the only reason Dean and Lindsey got married so quickly is because Lindsey was going to break up with him for fighting with Jess over Rory. Literally right before the episode where Dean proposed, was when he suckered punched Jess for making Rory cry and got into a huge fist fight all over the house. A guy doesn’t get into that big a fight over a girl he’s not in love with… I’m SURE Lindsey was upset and there were issues behind the scenes that possibly caused Dean to propose as a means of saving the relationship. It also would fit with his past history of love bombing too; like how he did to Rory all the time (ex: building her a car and giving it to her with the *expectation* of saying “I love you” only 3 months in and breaking up with her when she didn’t give him what he wanted right away)

My heart broke for Lindsey. They definitely shouldn’t have gotten married that young but she didn’t deserve what went down.

I think this analysis is really fair, I also think that the traditional family unit is what dean wanted as well. I think it's part of why Dean was so intimidated when he saw Rory with her college buddies, because he knew that what he wanted and what she wanted were so fundamentally different.

I think the role of her mother is crucial, also in understanding why Lindsey is staying at home. I would assume it is her mother who is pushing her to be a stay at home wife and fulfill these traditional roles like cooking and cleaning. Since Lindsey is so young, I would think she is very impressionable still and doesn't really know what she actually wants