Disturbing Book Review (Episode 1) 

You are not literate. Please do not lie to people on the internet

You have the exact energy of someone who just found a dead body in the woods and is waaaay too excited to tell me every single disgusting detail except where you found it. (complementary)

Discourse over an author not being the same sexuality as their characters is dumb. As long as the writer knew what they were doing and not just being homophobic for 100 pages; let people write characters that are diverse dammit!!

"I hate the mindset that liking a piece of media means that you have to like the subject matter" THANK YOU!!! I wish more people felt that way!!!

I think the worst thing about “Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke” is the fact that the idea of something like giving someone absolute control over something like your bank account and willingly doing whatever they want or else you’re fucked should be absolutely terrifying, but none of those aspects of the relationship actually come into play. And the entire payoff of the setup to the story is a tapeworm.

One of my favorite books is Catcher in the Rye. I know it's the favorite book of serial killers and school shooters but it's a beautiful book about a teenage boy who is spiraling and desperately needs help after something traumatic happens in his life. It's a screwed up book. I sat there reading it as a teenager and realized that before I got on medication to help balance my pain which was making me depressed, I had Holden's thoughts. It was upsetting. But it felt like someone understood me and understood that like Holden, I needed help. Holden's narration is unreliable and I can't trust how he sees it but in his state of mind, that's his personal truth and how he sees it due to depression, anxiety, and various other problems he's suffering under. That doesn't mean I'm going to go "ugh the world sucks" and do something violent. I do find that the world tends to hurt the most vulnerable first but we can also do things to help them when we pay attention and offer kindness. Enjoying "dark" subjects isn't a horrible thing. When we decide to write/consume things irresponsibly and ignore there are very real people who have to endure these things and go through them, we're not being great people. We're trying to pretend that bad things are "imaginary" and they can't happen to us. It's like I try to remind people about "fairy tales". They have quite a lot of truth in them. Children won't magically come to life from bones in the fireplace but children were murdered for inheritance money or due to their families starving... and it's not make believe. Evil "step parents" were less step and more parent. Bad things exist and will find us the second we pretend we're safe. Don't pretend that depression can't get you; it will and it has you on speed dial. Don't pretend that these horrible things can't happen. They might be rare but your chances are never zero. And sometimes reading them is the way to cope. To have a fantasy is sometimes to indulge for a moment... Because again, rare does not mean impossible. For those of us who have suffered terrible things, it becomes a disservice to those who do the "head in the ground" purity culture. What we went through was very real. I'd rather a writer get it right than insist it never happened. I am real. These subjects are real. Rare... but not impossible.

For anyone interested in stuff that talks more about media literacy, I highly recommend Lolita Podcast! It talks about Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita super comprehensively, including diving into why bad faith interpretations of it are so popular, the history of its many adaptations and how they relate to abuse prevalent in Hollywood and Broadway and news media, while still leaving space for understandable criticism of both the novel and its author. Lolita is one of my favorite novels and I think talking about it opens the door for frank and necessary conversations about abuse and the inherent value of children’s lives.

THANK YOU it's so annoying when people just say a book is disturbing but don't explain how.

i appreciate you picking relatively lesser known titles! i feel like most people go for the classics like the wasp factory, 120 days of sodom, etc... i'm excited to see what other Fricked Up books people suggest in the comments

Omg thank you for this, I was very intrigued by the cover and title of _"Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke,"_ but couldn't actually learn anything from the reviews I read. And now I know that *drumroll* I'm probably not gonna read it because based off your review it might not be worth it. This is gonna be a deadly series!!!

There's a book called The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. It's a work of nonfiction, but I think it could work for this series.

As someone whose favourite play is Medea, I completely get how annoying it is for other people to think that liking a piece of media means you endorse the content. I don't think it's cool to murder your children :/

Zoe's fantasy sounds a lot like me in my toxic phase as like 16 when my boyfriend called me "Daddy" in front of his parents 😭 it was awful for both of us we were toxic and I'm so glad I left him and found a therapist. But it seems like a story I can relate to.

I love this series of reading disturbing books! I can't wait to see more episodes and see what you find! You should definitely read a book called "Found." by Todd Rigney! It's only 136 pages, it's a very short but intriguing read that I highly recommend! It's a really interesting and disturbing book about a 10 year old protagonist who loves horror movies who finds out his older brother is a serial killer who keeps heads in his closet. The story has really good characters and development with an absolutely bat-shit ending! I think you might really like it!

I’m a crime scene and biohazard cleaner. I love my job intensely. My family thinks it’s the most disgusting, awful thing and never ever wanna hear about any of it. Other people wanna hear it all. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t LIKE the subject matter of sewerslide and moider and gore. I love the physical labor, the constant monitoring of my surroundings and emotions, being around hardcore situations, helping people through an awful time, and intensive white glove cleaning. I love your description of being able to love a type of media and not enjoy the subject matter. I’ve never been able to describe why I like seeing and hearing about horrific stories, art, and media, but still being disgusted and needing to cover my eyes at times lol

One of my favorite books I read last year was Dennis Cooper's The Sluts (2004). Definitely disturbing, but a really beautifully written and fascinating rabbit hole into the world of sexual extremism, the power of anonymity, the problems of idolization, and an examination of the personas we form and the roles we perform both in real life and online.

Love seeing in depth horror reviews that go beyond "wow, that was weird". I would love to hear what you think about Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla, or even some of his other novellas from In a Glass Darkly. I particularly liked the writing and themes in Carmilla (and also lesbian vampires), and I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

i absolutely love disturbing books and i love seeing you talk about lesser known books! i'm excited to see more of this series

I wish i had more friends like you. you're so well reflected and add interesting conversation to books/topics i love hearing about and getting your input. irl i don't share my hobbies anymore bc it's so taxing to deal with the dying art of media literacy and spoon feeding morality 101. thank you for making these videos, they make me feel so much less alone.

OK, so it's not as disturbing as the ones you talk about here, but I really highly recommend The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones. Holy shit Jules, it's brutal and beautiful-- there's an elk-headed woman and she is intent on revenge. Also Jones' book My Heart is a Chainsaw, which is about a slasher fanatic and her use of her incredible knowledge of horror film stories to navigate what seems to be a "slasher cycle" starting in her home town. She finds a final girl and tries to help build her up to beat the slasher, but she's still trying to figure out who or what the slasher will be while the supposed final girl sees her as a girl who needs to be rescued. I was just all over the place while reading it-- equal parts "I see myself here and I hate it" and "wait what the heck is this actually happening" OK I love you bye bye

I really appreciated your bit on the liking books with "suspect" topics -- I cannot stand people who freak out or demonize someone who likes books that explore topics like that. Lolita is one of my favorite books and it does not mean that I condone what happens in it lol.

I have seen "Things Have Gotten Worse.." suggested occasionally on reddit and have been a bit curious about it. I appreciate you taking the time to actually review the book as opposed to just saying that it "was very jarring" and "greatly disturbed you".

THANK YOU FOR HAVING THE SAME REACTION TO THIS BOOK AS ME. I was wtf-ing all over the place and it wasn't about the creepy stuff.

Major tw but a personal connection to Dead Inside; As a victim of CSA with multiple offenders the dialogue often reminds me of the different kinds of offenders there are and their thoughts etc. I guess it makes sense since pedophilia and necrophilia are both paraphilias and seen in similar ways. But I've met the ones who are determined that their desire to cause harm is 'just another sexuality there's so may of [them]' (gross). The ones who have decided to dedicate their entire lives to hiding that they're predators and this don't have families, high up careers, etc. I've been around apologetic offenders who say they're sorry and they'll never do anything bad again. The ones who want to protect their jobs and families and cry and say they wish they could help me (but never did). I've witnessed an argument about how it's 'too far' or how they 'may as well embrace who [they] are' and the similarities I've seen in the books dialogue has always been hair raising.

The protagonist of Dead Inside should have been a woman - that way the title could have been a terrible dad joke.

This was such a refreshing review on Things Have Gotten Worse. I read it myself and was so disappointed that other reviewers only wanted to focus on the taboo aspects of the story and how disturbing it was. I really respect and appreciate your voice on this. I love how you focus on actual literary elements relevant to the quality of the work. You are the reviewer I've been looking for! 🖤

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter is a great collection of rewritten fairy tales with darker storylines, I recommend

I love problematique media, taboo can at times bring out strong emotions and if an author can bring strong ideas to the table alongside that, the impact can be quite profound. Some of my favorite works I have a weird “I hate the subject matter so much but I really enjoy how it was presented and I love the ideas it wants to play with.” love/hate relationship with some media. Especially things like horror and eroge (adult visual novels) sure, a lot of horror and ero is shock and shlock but sometimes they bury a nugget of something really intriguing in these things. Anyways yea, thanks for giving these a fair shake, dead inside sounds interesting.

Omg your plant(pothos?) has grown so beautifully!! What a good plant parent, damn

Loving this series already! And thank you so much for saying that just because you like something, doesn't mean that you condone the actions lol. It's such a basic thing but a lot of people don't get how someone can like something that has something in it that they disagree with. I love pretty much anything disturbing and it's sad that I can never talk about those things because it's seen as taboo. Looking forward to future videos!

I just had RU-vid recomend this video. I've seen countless videos about disturbing horror, including those two. But I'm honestly kind of glad to see someone actually talking about them. Like if anything this video could have been twice as long, and I feel like I would have loved it. Especially since, as you said, the majority of the videos just talk about it being disturbing. They just mention a few gory moments. For some, that's all it needs. Like Woom, while a great book, isn't exactly all that deep. It's just a lot of shock factor. But then I hear people actually discuss books like Dead Inside, and I think it's great. Also the brief rant about how liking these things in the books is different from liking them in real life. Over all I'm sold and gonna watch more videos. Also, I haven't read Dead Inside yet(I only really discovered extreme horror maybe a year ago), but agree with all the points on Things Have Only Gotten Worse. Over all great book. Loved everything about it. But it needed to be a bit longer and build up more. Some of the jumps were a bit of a hindrance to the shock value.

I absolutely love your content and having someone as interested in these things as I am with actual intelligence who can break down topics like this! You’re awesome keep being you!

“Portraying lesbians as abusive is negative towards the community!!! You can’t do that!!” Lesbians who have escaped abusive and toxic relationships and who want support: 👁️👄👁️

I literally lost a friend because I said I thought it was okay to write or read about incest sometimes and stories that involve incest can be interesting. It’s so refreshing to find people who can understand that consuming media about dark topics doesn’t mean you condone that behavior or want to “normalize” the fucked up stuff you read about.

I have so many recommendations omg. Cows by Matthew Stokoe, Off Season by Jack Ketchum, Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter and Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk are all magnificent!

I read this last night and felt very much the same way as you. I read it after Be My Friend by Mique Watson because it has a similar mixed media vibe, but way more disturbing

Your videos are so refreshing it’s amazing! Can't wait for more

“I’m literate I swear” is basically how I go about my daily life at this point lol

thank you for your review of dead inside !! so far it's the only of the books you've recommended that i have found in my library's e-book catalog. so i checked it out and finished it in the same evening! (it's actually the first book i've finished in Uhh A Long Time so thank you Double!) [ spoilers for DEAD INSIDE below ] i really enjoyed it!! i agree that the narrator's voice was gripping and often comedic just because of what a fuckin edgelord this guy is. some of my favorite moments were when he freaked out and got anxious about social interactions (specially him getting anxious standing in helen's house and thinking about being Perceived in the restaurant) because it enforces that he needs to perceive his strangeness as a strength because, in reality, it isn't. the single funniest line in the book for me was: "I have commenced small talk." just so indicative of his voice -- and the moments when he speaks to the audience, like, sir? To You, there is no audience. For You, no one is hearing or seeing or reading this. he's just.....like that, even (especially? only?) when there's no one there to observe him. i agree that the "twist" was predictable; when helen said "my.....i got someone to fix [the car]" i was like Ah, she's married. so when the guy shows up at the bar, i agree it's super easy to put two and two together. oh! i also really enjoyed the theme of addiction. you get to see how helen's addictions coalesce around and because of this one particular guy, culminating in the final scene of the book. there's this idea in the book that you should "die doing what you love," showcased primary through the girl the MC talks to as she's dying -- she seems, to the MC at least, at peace with, even happy with, her dying the way she did. but this is contrasted with helen, who, in my opinion, does not die doing what she loved, but because she needed to be loved and could not live with herself after what she knew "had" to be done. like she's high out of her mind, she's sobbing when she tells the narrator the baby is dead -- she doesn't even get the satisfaction of having sex with the MC while still alive. in a way, her death is death by overdose, like the "junkies" the paramedics talked about earlier on. also!! if you're still reading the comments on this vid, i have a question for ya!! (or if anyone else would like to share their opinion go ahead !) : do you think the narrator dies or goes to jail at the end of the book?

I just started reading the haunting of hill house, appreciate u giving me recommendations for when im done with it :)

I’m gonna be honest I really loved the titular story in “Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke” because as someone who has been in controlling relationships like that the fear comes from how quickly they can convince you to do horrible things. To me it made sense that the second task was so huge especially since it ended up being something that made the MC “feel powerful” because that illusion of empowerment is such an important part of that control. I also understood the random rabbit story and shit cause it’s so reminiscent of a controlling person trying to bond through trauma and be like “I’m too fucked up you should leave me” every five seconds. But also I get how the author could have eased someone else who hadn’t experienced something like that into the narrative. I feel if he had spent more time establishing the MCs mindset before she started seeing the other person it would have made a lot more sense but the cat log email thing didn’t really allow for that. Kinda funny I just recommended this book to my sibling right before seeing that you’d made a video on it 😅

10:20 pardon??!! that's the most unhinged plot I've ever heard of

Do you have panel from Uzumaki where Azami gets engulfed by a spiral from her forehead in front of Kirie and other on your jumper/sweater thing?

1:36 KITTTTYYYYYY!!!! they kinda look like the stray I and my family have been feeding/taking care of but she's really skinny, I actually saw her for the first time in days this morning

I completely agree with your discussion on taboo subject matter. I personally have a limit to what I can really stand, but more power to the people who are willing to talk about the stuff people like to push to the side.

i feel like you'd absolutely LOVE the resurrectionist based on the books you read in this review + your previous content 👀👀

I’m so exhausted that I thought the lamp in the wall nook behind you looked like a face…

I’m drunk and the Dr Seuss stuff took me out of commission for like 30 minutes

thank you for making this video, it was really interesting (as always) i found out about the first book through tiktok and the reviews were pretty much useless, and the ones that actually "talked" about the writting just said it was bad, no explanation no examples. i'm looking forward to episode 2 :)

I have a recommendation! Penpal was pretty disturbing and distressing for me, of course not as much as these ones (I was able to read it with my mom relatively comfortably), but the build up still makes my stomach churn, and I’d still consider it very disturbing. I’d love to see you review it :]

I read Things Have Gotten Worse and while it was too much for me I 100% agree with your criticisms. The story went way too fast, it was far too short, we needed more time to watch Zoey manipulate Agnes into doing these horrible things, we needed more reason as to *why* Agnes was so willing. Yes Agnes is established as a lonely woman who's desperate for affection, and the money motive helps, but the fact Zoey is able to go from getting her to do this little harmless act of exhibitionism to killing a salamander is bizarre and unbelievable. Maybe if Agnes confided these gorey instances she mentions excite her or something later in the story or we saw Zoey lovebomb Agnes then withdraw until she agreed to do what she said, or some combination of both. A slow build would also lend far better to Zoey's retroactive horror at what she's made Agnes do. That she got so caught up in the amount of power Agnes has allowed her to have and was just searching for the next thrill without actually considering the consequences. Then we reach the climax where Agnes actually gives herself a tapeworm (or some other horrific thing if the tapeworm doesn't work for you) and is talking about the effects it's having on her. Zoey crashes from this high realizing what she's done and she's never gone this far or tried to make someone do this, even in her darkest fantasies. She begs Agnes to go to the doctor and get help, but it's far too late for that now because Agnes is too broken and Zoey has no one to blame but herself. Side note: fuck people who dislike this book (or any book really) for having "problematic queer rep" or whatever, I'd argue the whole thesis of the story is "is your loneliness really worse than having someone with no regard for your wellbeing?" And that's just as common in queer relationships as it is in straight ones. One of my favourite queer books is Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Bright and tiktok would explode over the amount of murder, rape, cannibalism, and Problematic Queer Rep it contains.

I love books about taboo subject matter, it is interesting since I have been part of certain taboo cultures myself (no, nothing crazy like the characters in these books mentioned by Jules) but hint, I am an old school goth, as in real goth from the 80s not what millenials think is goth, that being said this review was dope and I plan to read both books. Great video, jules

One classic book that is disturbing by design - to show you the horrors of racism and generational trauma as well as how it's dealt with I'm African American communities - is 'The Bluest Eye' by Toni Morrison. Warnings are; racism, dysfunctional families, abusive families (especially parents), bullying, physical assault, sexual assault and rape of both adult and child characters and miscarriage. It's the story of three little girls, all black growing up in the 70s as well as their families. Pecola Breedlove, an 11 year old and her family's dysfunction is a huge plot point.

You might have rekindled my desire to read with this series, and if so, thank you :) I used to read a lot of horror, moved to literature, then philosophy, then lost my love for it. Can't wait for a few recommendations! Edit: Also, the rabbit joke was good. I snorted.

Dead inside plagued my mind for weeks after I read it and I wouldn’t shut up about it. I still don’t tbh. 4/5 star lol

This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno, on the shorter side, I don't think the official synopsis represents it super well. Just a relentless story about grief

Ooh, any plans for anything by Thomas Ligotti in this series? The weird 'is he a real person or is this stephen king Doing a Bit Again' thing surrounding him is fun as heck and his actual work is some good creepy shit.

I really appreciate this series, as an enjoyer of disturbing fiction I rarely get to have discussions about what I read and this kinda fills that void. I just finished Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Brite and I really recommend it, whilst it is disturbing it's also very tender and sweet, it's also extremely gay, like it's more about being gay than it is about being a necrophiliac.

The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosiński is my vote/recommendation. When we had our holocaust units in 6th grade my dad gave me this book to read alongside of the required reading. He said something about "people focused on Hitler, but everybody was a monster waiting for an excuse." I'll just copy a summary/blurb: "1939, a six-year-old boy is sent-by his anti-Nazi parents to a remote village in Poland where they believe he will be safe. Things happen, however, and the boy is left to roam the Polish countryside, trying to stay alive, looking for food, shelter, and a principle of Justice to accomodate what he sees people do to each other and to him. To the blond, blue-eyed peasants in his part of the country, the swarthy, darkeyed boy who speaks the dialect of the educated class is either Jew, gypsy, vampire, or devil. They fear him and they fear what the Germans will do to them if he is found among them, So he must keep moving. In doing so over a period of years, he observes every Conceivable variation on the theme of horror, sadism, and bestiatity. A cockold miller gouges out the eyes of a ploughboy with the back of a spoon. He loses his voice in a pile of human excrement, almost freezes to death underneath-a frozen lake, and is 'hung by his Wrists atop a vicious dog..." " The novel proper, without tidying-up, is purely and simply a panoply of horror, expertly wrought and disgusting. There is no more parable or symbolism here than there was at Buchenwald. Jerzy is a brilliant writer, but let the reader beware. It's very hard to take."

"You're never gonna see the final makeup look" - Top ten anime betrayals

I loved your commentary over these books ^_^!! I'm currently reading Tender is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica, and it would be cool to see your take on it!

0:01 is that shirt from that one book/serries where the guy starts seeing spirals everywhere and he goes insane and dies and the people turns to snails and ger cannibalized and the girl's face caves in?

Jules please review 'the tulip touch' by anne fine!! it's a british children/ya book that i read when i was around 10 and then again and again until now that chronicles the friendship of two young girls. it seriously is haunting and dark and it rocks

Oh hell yeah I love this series already! I guess I would suggest Haunted or Wasp Factory.

for a hot second i thought the eyelash curler was a monocle lmao

I loved this! Would be interested in hearing more.

Not sure if you are doing this series anymore, but the book "Exquisite Corpse" is remarkable and deserves good reviews other than the emphasis on cannibalism (that is a bizarre sentence lol)

Pls pls review Mother Thing if you have the chance! Ik this video is old but I feel like you might possibly like the book- it’s not extremely disturbing? But the twist ending is really good in my opinion and idk I’ve just never read a book like it

40:44 so basically prophet from vintage eight's analog horror serries?

Wait, the Mafia is bad?!? Seriously though great reviews. Dead inside definitely sounds like my taste.

Late af cause it’s an old but love how u and Anda Kent describe books as a whole, horror genre or not 🫡🫡🫡

just read dead inside in one sitting, and i totally agree with the ending being so stupid. things started kinda falling off around 60% through the book and it's such a shame bc i really was enjoying it! glad i got to read it though.

*sees intro* *immediately subscribes*

Why do I recognize your voice and why am I subscribed to you My brain is hurting and blanking at the moment

Actually just found you through this video. Didn't realize you made daisy brown, great job with your series. Thanks for the review, cute hair!

You are a breath of fresh air, keep up the book talk.

If you like manga you should read Feeding Lamb! It’s kinda like both books combined. A one sided gay relationship where one person takes advantage of the other and murders/cannibalizes people who get in the way.

okay you are actually hilarious and your views on these books is so good and refreshing!1

I know you were asking for scary books, but once you're in the mood to make another Dapper History, I suggest looking into the serial killer Leonarda Cianciulli. Very weird and disturbing story. (Also I feel like you could make a cooking princess joke out of it because you're a very talented writer.) Many regards.

you should definitely review yellow by the man himself beauragard, its one of his best books and the villains are so interesting. its my personal favorite book of his

I have no mouth and I must scream is great, definitely a different type of horror than these 2 books being a scifi horror but Id still recommend checking it out if you havent already

Zola, is wild. I actually liked the book itself. It one of the most disrupting books I’ve read, I felt like I was in the house.

I was going to suggest a book, but theses are way more disturbing than the one I was thinking of

Just finished Dead inside, was a great read!

im so mad about how many times i laughed during Dead Inside.

Wish i had seen this before reading dead inside. So many videos and reviews, not one thing anywhere mentions the pedophilia. Like i want to be disturbed and grossed out, but i do NOT want to read THAT.

Not really a disturbing book per se, but the novelization of the game Babysitter Bloodbath is a dumb fun edgy slasher romp that I highly recommend.

Damn that chit chat with Auny Julia is really feeding the parasocial relationship

Love your energy! But what did my beutiful shizoboy JreG do?? 😭

Lmao, I fully expected you to just end the video at "Umm, the answer is-" and just never answer

The world needs a book about Daisy Brown, or any story from you. I’m begging you.

i interpreted the stories agnes was telling about all the horrible things she's seen is to show how she's already kinda desensitized to doing bad things because she has that whole "nothing matters anyway" moment so??? idk??? that's all i got from it LOL

I really like this girl she seems like a person you could sit back and wach shocking movies with

Havent started the video yet but I found ur channel yesterday bcz of ur Bubba Sawyer video and u are literally already my fav creator, u make the commentary and stuff ao enjoyable to listen to :') anyways hope u have a nice day/night

12:40 why is that so me? when I first realized that I have a crush on my best friend I imidetly started panicking because I haven't been in a relationship since my ex-boyfriend who I just happened to fall out with

0:00 i see spirals everywhere

The dead inside main character sounds like Dennis from it's always sunny 🧐

I wish I read the first book as a lonely gay teenager in like 2010 because it would have saved me the trouble of finding out that being gay does not make people inherently good lmao I ignored so many red flags and had a lot of Not Good things happen because I was desperate for a community, or even just one person, who understood me. Anyways I read The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones and The Troop by Nick Cutter recently and they're both bangers that you might like maybe

I have a copy of “Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke” that has two other short stories and the story after the story you’re talking about has the kid who murdered his little brother as one of the characters

I agree with the conversations and thoughts being the best part of Dead Inside. I love when we get to see the insight behind these fucked-up individuals. Then the ending really disappointed me. I get it, but if he wanted to make ig bleak and hopeless, I feel like it could have been more believable