DM DOKURO - STILL HERE (harsh sun version) 

I remember listening to Still Here for the first time, nine months ago. After 9 was posted and you announced your hiatus, I assumed that the other half of the album had been left incomplete. But one night, I was on your bandcamp page to listen to the ferrofluid, and I saw "STILL HERE / 9." Not 9. Still Here AND 9. At the time, things were bad for me, both in terms of my actual situation and especially my mental state. I'd never suffered mentally before. I didn't even realize I was. I couldn't focus, I had no motivation, I was always exhausted...everything felt like it was purposeless. I couldn't get anything done, either. That probably had the most impact at the time. I just ended up...accepting it. Watching task after task, deadline after deadline just fall away, telling myself that there was nothing I could do so I might as well give up. People around me were asking me why, baffled by it. I didn't give them any answers. It felt like by asking for help, or even acknowledging that I was struggling, I would be sharing a burden with others that only existed because of me, because of my mistakes. Meanwhile, I tried to just "figure it out." Looking at other people, seeing how they acted, why they acted. I searched for answers on the internet -- but never directly talked to anyone, even online. Both during and before that time, I'd consumed plenty of media about mental illness and struggle. For the things before, I didn't really 'get' it, but it didn't mean much to me because I wasn't and never had struggled mentally. For the things during that time, and looking back on the things before...it felt the same. I didn't identify with any of it. I felt so isolated, so alienated. People around me were frustrated, unable to understand me. I wasn't able to understand them, and now I wasn't even able to understand myself. Every day, I moved farther and farther away from everyone else, trapping myself in my own rabbitholes, trying to find answers within my own mind instead of outside it, which only served to make things worse. I thought that it had just become part of my nature, to be alienated and isolated forever -- useless to society. Having autism, I already felt alienated enough normally. I never had and still didn't like to excuse my problems with that, but at the time, I tried to convince myself I didn't even have autism at all, that I had simply failed myself, and that my lesser, lifelong alienation from it just meant that I had always failed myself. I don't blame myself for that feeling of incongruity with other people now, but I don't excuse it, either. Whether that's good or bad...I don't know. At half past midnight one night, I was staring at a blank page on my monitor for forty five minutes. I decided to take a break from my "work," and listen to the ferrofluid album for probably the fiftieth time. Music, and especially your music, was what let me hold on to others. Just pure emotion, that I could understand as well as anyone else; your music would also be what pulled me up. I saw "STILL HERE / 9" for the first time out of the corner of my eye. Not 9. Still Here AND 9. It was about two months after your hiatus. I opened it, and listened. As good as it is to have the discretion advisory at the start, I'm glad I didn't see it then. When it was done...I just sat there, for ten minutes. Then I listened to it again, and sat there for ten more minutes. Then I went to bed. I had a lot of trouble sleeping that night. Nothing has ever felt as familiar or understandable to me as Still Here, and I doubt anything ever will. For once, I saw my feelings, portrayed by someone else, someone I'd never met. They understood it, and I understood it. For once, I understood it. A war between two voices, one lamenting my apathy and the other condemning me for it, yet neither doing anything to actually solve it, and in the end, you just end up in the same place over and over again. Going nowhere, but somehow, still there. I could finally just SEE it. And I could see that the only excuses I was making for myself were excuses not to help myself. From that night forward, having seen what I was, I could see what I needed to do. It was slow. It took a long, grueling time. But in the end, in each and every day, I knew I was moving forward, that I was actually making progress, because, for once, I UNDERSTOOD it. Each time I listen to Still Here, I remember that day, and the days before, and the days after. Hearing it again in this new way, it feels so much stronger. I found myself once again sitting and staring at the screen in silence for ten minutes, contemplating what I'd just experienced. To this day, I've never really told anyone about that time. This is probably the most open I've ever been about it, in a fucking youtube comment. Maybe I never will be open about it. But because of Still Here, because of you making it...I can get by, having understood. You've said that this song was painful for you to make, but from the bottom of my heart, I'm thankful you made it anyway. I'm still here, now, but...if this song didn't exist, I don't know if I could've hung onto that thread long enough to say that.

Everyone's talking about how amazing Synthesizer V is, but PLEASE CAN we just appreciate that DM DOKURO was the one who's made those breathtaking Songs?! Like fr, he's amazing and lit up my whole room with his music.

If you play this at 0.75x speed, it almost sounds like a slowed down version of "DM DOKURO - STILL HERE (harsh sun version)" 🤯

Lemme tell you, with max volume, noise cancellation and spatial audio this is one hell of an audio experience

With how dark this song is, I almost feel a little bad vibing to it this hard... but it's just so _good!_

This is truly amazing. Also, for those that are curious that screen flash at 5:00 has text that says: “the harsh sun cares not for the adult’s struggle.”

Man, Synthesizer V is very impressive. I really can't differentiate the voice from a human's

God, no matter how many times I listen to this song, the line "you're a waste of a life worth living" always hits me like a gut punch.

I still find it unbelievable that it isn’t an actual human voice, it’s amazing Edit: Having now listened to the entire song, I am even more amazed by this, I hope that you continue to find new ways, or reuse old ways of making your music, it’s amazing how good you are at this

This song feels... ...oddly empowering. Whenever I hear the words of the voice of pain, I feel an urge to refute them, to deny them their purpose. To prove I'm above them, I guess. It's truly a beautiful song.

Absolutely bewildered...I'm still sitting here with goosebumps...haven't had a song shake me like this in a long time. As I type my hands are still shaking haha Way to go DM DOKURO, This journey changed me. Thank you for your incredible work here

I feel like Solaria captures so much more emotion that Oliver. I really love the amount of color near the end of the video too

I need this on spotify so BAD. I cannot stop listening to it.

Dokuro my beloved Edit: shit this is amazing, keep up the good work man!

i had always thought OLIVER's screamo lyrics sounded a bit funny in the original, which made it a bit difficult to take the harsh lyrics seriously- but SOLARIA absolutely kills it in this version, and nails the emotion despite being... y'know, not human.

I've become very attatched to this song, it's been a fight with me and myself.

Loving the glitching sounds and visuals, really adds more instability to the mix that helps it focus on its meaning

I was fully ready for the drop but god damn I wasn't expecting the vocals to sound that amazing. Sent chills everywhere, I don't even understand how you make a synthesized voice sound so desperate holy shit

5:00 text is as follows: "The harsh sun cares not for an adult constant struggle."

I am also an autistic abuse survivor. I've been there. Sometimes I am still there. Therapy helps. (Try a graduate student training clinic, if you can't afford it.) Meds help. Knowing that other people walk the same path helps. Finding people who love and care about you because of who you are helps. (I have found people in fandom. The other(s) should not make you feel worse about yourself. A therapist makes a good spotter to help make sure you're not in a bad group simply because you are too desperate to belong. You may need to try several times.) I don't know how you're doing right now, either Dokuro or anyone else reading this. But know that whatever you are suffering is not all-consuming even if it feels like it from the inside. Reach out. Get out of bed. Try again. It's worth it, I promise.

My comment from the first Still Here stands. Nothing I said in that original comment will ever change. My hope is still that you can find solace, strength, and courage to conquer your personal demons. Thank you for baring your soul to us via your music.

I don't think a song has ever touched me more than Still Here has.

I love this, never stop making music. Before even watching this, I know it will be a banger

Oh my gosh. I had been constantly listening to the version you posted on your other channel because I loved the voice so much more, thank you so much for making this a full version!!!

WOW. The emotions are off the charts on this one. Especially the ending which hit so hard with Solaria's vocals. I remember I commented *headbangs while sobbing* on the original, but this brings it to a whole new level. Not to mention the fact that I can actually understand the lyrics without looking at them. Also, I remember you mentioning STILL HERE breaking you in a reply to my comment on TMH,TUL. So I must ask, what the hell made you do this to yourself

Ohhhh man, since you posted a clip on this on skullposts i wanted to hear the rest of it. Excited for every new upload :)

This song moved me a lot in ways I couldn't describe, so much so it made me want to write a protagonist whose central conflict can be represented by this music, and I did! I envisioned her conscience and her sin tearing each other up in a desperate, self-destructive last stand to destroy one another, only until after both her conscience and sins are bloody and battered, did the two parts of her selves finally reveal each other of the hurt children they are. The gentle tune after the song's climax is her conscience and sin finally opening up to each other.

I was literally listening to this song (the original version) earlier today. I genuinely love it, and I am so happy to see a new version of it.

That was nothing short of incredible... there's no other way to put it... hats off to you as always Dokuro, you never cease to defy boundaries and imagination

DAMN I'M EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED. 30 SECONDS INTO THE SONG. SOUNDS AWESOME. BET ITS AMAZING. NAH IT'LL BE AMAZING.

Oh, such beauty and majesty God you're an amazing composer DM Dokuro

This version is more "audible" and i understand now the lyrics. It's realy like Dokuro: the insanity, the internal fight, the suffering... not being cringe, but i love it.

Thank you for making amazing music Dokuro, not a lot of songs are able to put these emotions into words in a way that doesn’t feel forced, at the absolute least you should be proud of the amazing things you create. I know I appreciate them as someone dealing with similar feelings of self hate and loneliness.

WOW. Solaria putting in amazing work. And the character art gives it that extra oomph to the tone of the song. Well done by both you and Dan Saiyan.

The harsh sun cares not for an adult's constant struggle.

Hey, I haven't heard this version yet, I will edit this when I finish Edit: Wow. Just wow. The remaster feels so great, the voice for the lyrics felt lively too. Still, both versions did got me to tears since I do relate most of it. I did try self harm, but I didn't had the courage to, even when I tried, I didn't even got a wound. I had a terrible mindset because of my brother in law getting in my nerves and hurting me mentally. My parents don't understand how mental health works, even if I tried to make them understand, they would keep questioning and questioning, I would eventually give up trying to explain. Since I know how toxic the world can be, I read some articles, discovered a life enthusiast, discovered good life advice that doesn't suck, and everytime when someone online tries to be toxic or threatened me, I would just not give a fuck about it, this generation really fucked me up. I miss 2015, it was simple back then. 2000s had a lot of common sense. Now where is that common sense in the present? I don't see anywhere. Still, Dokuro, your tracks, game or not, I really adore your content and music, I hope your mental health is ok in these days. I know how grim these days can be in this year. (I don't expect anything great in 2023) Anyways, Happy Holidays DM Dokuro. Edit 2: I somehow feel like someone's is about to make a video mixing Oliver and Solaria's voice in one and post it in this platform.

I have been thinking about this for a full 24 hours after only listening to it once. Thanks my strange hyperfixation XD

a truly breathtaking experience. it's one of those songs i couldn't listen to casually, because i'd be missing the experience of raw fear and dread of evil voice, and the simultaneous desparation and readiness-to-give-up of wavering voice. incredible song.

I think this is literally my favorite song ever. Nothing matches the atmosphere, horror, pain, and experience that this song provides. Truly, this is like no other.

pure fucking gold in the form of music. Godspeed

I'm glad I found your music from the calamity osts. Back then I just really enjoyed the calamity music and really liked you for being so talented and I know the whole calamity drama is not something you look back on fondly. However your newer music has really resonated with me and I just want to say thank you for helping me through rough times whether it's your older music or your newer tracks. Please keep doing this (if you want of course) because you are very skilled and I respect you for it

This song is so under appreciated. One of your best tracks Dokuro! Can’t wait for the next song whenever that may be. Do take your time tough can’t rush perfection after all!

Everyone has said it a thousand different ways, but this really resonates with a lot of people. The work you've done here is absolutely amazing. Your lyrics and musicality are fantastic, and come across wonderfully. Keep on making things. Keep writing. You are inspired.

This song hits close to home it’s actually scary, yet somewhat fulfilling to know I’m not alone

DM Dokuro you are THE MAN! this song helped me through my depression and now im listening to it after months of depression it has SO much meaning and i will never forget it. Pleas keep up the good work!!!

This song is packed with potent emotion, it makes me feel dreadful, hopeless, yet at the same time it's somehow inspiring and cathartic. I don't know how to describe it, even outside of the lyrics themselves there is so much feeling packed into the instruments and tuning of the vocals. Incredible.

Absolutely incredible. The original version is already amazing, and this just lifts it to new heights.

I don't think I've ever found a song that has truly affected someone on an emotional level. And then there's still here, as well as some of your other works. Damn this is impressive, and the fact that it's sung by a vocaloid only makes it more so, as I used to associate vocaloids with the unrealistic sounds of the likes of ones such as Hatsune Miku. Now I finally know what it sounds like to listen to powerful lyrics that are nothing more than pure emotion. Thank you for this and all of your other amazing works, DM Dokuro. You definitely earned the sub, and I have yet to find a song of yours that I dislike.

A musical masterpiece. When I first found STILL HERE a couple months ago it gave me chills and made me tear up numberous times, but this version gives me éven móre chills and hits deeper, but without tears. The other version of STILL HERE was more sad, and this is oddly encouraging? Emotions are so complicated.

this song is the most emotion filled musical piece ive ever heard

The fact that you put a full 20 seconds of silence at the end of this masterpiece makes it all the better.

What an incredible creation, song, art piece, whichever you prefer. It's brilliant.

tbh, I'm glad Dokuro left Calamity. If he didn't leave, he might never have made this masterpiece.

This song was truly made with a soul. Good luck with everything.

This version kicks ass really gratefull, thanks for sharing your art dm dokuro

This is one of the best musical experiences I have ever had

I remember back when this song initially released. I was going through so much at the time and this song helped me get through each day. Thank you DOKURO.

I’ve never felt so called out yet understood at the same time. Sometimes, it takes just the right song to bring out all the raw, suppressed emotions that I hide for weeks on end. Thanks.

This is amazing, Dokuro, thank you. This conveys so many emotions so well and is honestly so relatable to how I once felt and sometimes still do. SynthV is an incredible tool as well and really adds to this.

i literally could not stay silent though this if you paid me "even more emotive" is an understatement, dokuro

That drop blasted me off of my socks I think that's the first time a song has done that to me. Why have I waited for so long to listen to this? Every lyric hits like a truck, like you got to the very core of what you wanted to convey and channeled it into this terrifyingly beautiful *symphony*. I'm gonna need a few re-listens to process all of that but I'm not sure I can handle more than one or two of those a week, maybe a month. DM Dokuro, I don't even know what to say. 17 out of 10.

Holy shit. And I thought i cried enough due to this song. The end hit something inside of me and it hurts, ouch. This version hits in a different way. Thank you for this!

I kind of feel like people with depression are those who need to hear this the most. A wake up call from the harsh reality they’ve trapped themselves in. God knows that how it feels to me.

Yes! the full version, idk which version i prefer now, Oliver or Solaria. Good stuff!

9 Months on, still giving me chills maybe even more because I prefer this voice to the other version. Bit of a mental dump below about this song and my feelings around it. TL;DR, This song is beautiful, the art is expertly crafted and all in all it makes me think. ------- ------ ----- ---- --- -- - Honestly, I really dont know how to put what im feeling everytime I hear this into words, I've struggled with feeling that what I feel isn't nearly as important as what others have been going/gone through and the feeling that nobody would want to waste thier time hearing about the uncontrolled static that dwells inside my mind. I supposed this song has helped me recognise the way my brain has been feeding and stiring all this built up turmoil. It's made me notice things about myself which I think I've been too afraid to face. My confidence has been shattered for years, im not confident in doing anything but im afraid of what people would think about me if I didnt pull through, I feel like im living a lie wearing a facade. I'm so afraid of everything around me but im not in danger. None of this is new info to me at this point but I dont feel ive improved over this time, I'm living sure but I dont feel like im progressing. I wouldnt say I'm numb but I supress my mind until it releases when im alone, it never feels like its "gone" just not at the front of my mind so I can hope people can't tell what im truly thinking. This song is beautiful, I can't say it makes me feel recognised because Its not fair to compare but I can say that the song has helped me associate what im thinking. Its not clear, the static is still cluttering up the transmision but i think can finally recognise the right signal range. Thanks for reading this jumbled mess of my thoughts, i hope people can understand roughly what im saying. If anybody I know irl reads this, now you know i guess.

My goodness, I've already played the original around 400 times. Time for 800 more with this one. I hope all is well Dokuro, and thank you for another drop!

Absolute masterpiece highlighting the constant interchangeable tug of war and dialogue within a traumatized rotting mind.

alright ive listened to this song too many times ive lost my ability to cry

Yeah i like this one more. The vague tone of the original does make sense with the mystery that comes with an outside perspective on mental issues, but this one allows you to experience them yourself.

Literally one of my favorite songs of all time, thanks dokuro...sorry you went through all that.

this is one of those songs that you first hear it, think its a banger, show it to someone, they say is garbage, then u heard another time, and u want to understand the lyrics... u realise they are completely wrong and this is a masterpiece of years of suffering with a real deep lyrics that is not about depression at all.

This turns an already masterful piece from a 10 to a 20. Synthesizer V was such a good match with this track, and I love the emotions and wrath of the lyrics even more. Incredible work dokuro!

This feels like the theme for Futaba's palace in p5, the lyrics fit contextually and the screams in this version sound like her mother

I feel a chill on me listening to this song, wanting too cry hard, i don't understand these feelings, i-i can't understand....

When the first version of still here came out I told myself damn I will never relate to this song just found the hard way that I was so unbelievably wrong all I can say thanks for making still here

I started crying twice listening to this. Absolute masterpiece.

Man after that one edit i've been waiting to listen to a full version, I'm glad you went ahead and did it considering the tone and meaning behind the creation of it, at least in my pressumptious assumptions, its a totally much unreal experience.

didn't ever expect this to come, but i am so glad it did. synthesizer v did wonders to this. thank you for everything dokuro, happy holidays.

An improvement to an already incredible song… masterpiece.

After being as patient as ever my favourite dokuro song gets a new version,this is beautiful dokuro.

This is so deep and well done. Thank you for this emotional journey.

4:43 through the existential... dread.. Love that motif 💙

Yoooo i was waiting for this(still here is probs my favorite track)

I've always wanted to do musical production in some sorta way, and your music is definitely going to be a reference point and inspiration when I get to that, but today I made a random realization when it comes to singing. It uses a lot more air than I've ever like intentionally put into things and I remembered this out of nowhere while listening and vibing to this song for the 47th time, and was like hey, what if while I whisper sing this at 2 am again, I put a bunch of air behind it like I'm actually singing and it was wild. Felt much more fulfilling and satisfying, definitely going to look into setting something up to record, maybe wont start with singing this piece since its long but dang do I wanna do it someday. Thank you for all the awesome works, can't wait to hear future pieces and maybe someday have something to show of my own from your inspiration :D

absolute vibe.

Amazing as usual! The detail, the bits of fragmented (and sometimes irritating to try to read) text/(lore?) written in the song is always a joy to try and piece together what secrets lie in the story of the songs... Keep it up! Speaking of stories... I really enjoy what you were doing with Barbaros, Reality, Casper, Lucille, etc... Especially The short story in Merciful: It was so detailed I could almost see exactly what you were describing, almost like an animation or animatic! (Have you ever considered being a writer... "Cause based on the bits of lore you leave, I'd definitely purchase a book : ) I'd definitely love to see more of They Know who They Are, Shadow of Light 3, and Barbaros' adventures, as well as anything else you have planned. Regardless of what you decide to do... Just know that we're Still Here for you... No matter what!) I hope you enjoy making these as we enjoy listening to them. I would really like some sort of Coffee break... You could even film it in the void if you wanted to... Just a small update on how you're doing (based on the lyrics of your recent songs... It seems you are starting to get better... And if that IS the case... I'm happy and hopeful for you... you can do it!) Once again, amazing job as always!

FINALLY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS, HYPED FOR NIGHTMARECOMINGTOLIFE TO COME OUT TOO BUT I DOUBT ITS SOON

oh my god. i was excited when i heard the segment of this song with solarias voice on your other channel. i fucking love this, awesome job as always man

Holy shit DM, you managed to take my favourite song of all time and make it better. Incredible job!!!!

It’s finally here!!!!!!!! Thank you DM Dokuro

im in love with the new vocals for this song, the remastered instrumental is fantastic as well!

[Decided to make a lyrics comment since I didn't see one, also 0:25 for start of song.] For years, I ran from my mistakes. Their piercing eyes are something I can’t ever seem to flee. If i break, The wicked show their face, Persuaded by the deep, grotesque disgust of what they see… Growing weaker every day, Feeling heart and soul decay- If I’m not alone, then why am I afraid…? If I’m suffering inside, Do I rest ‘til it subsides? Do I keep it to myself and disappear? My sorrow shows, And now it knows That I’m still here. SHUT UP. I’M DONE WITH HEARING YOU. THIS IS ALL YOU DO- COMPLAIN AND BITCH AND WHINE ABOUT YOURSELF. This is NOT your business. STOP TALKING. DON’T YOU DARE SAY ANY MORE. JUST LOOK AT YOU- THE HARSH ADVICE OF THOSE WHO LOVED YOU- …The harsh advice I’m given ROTS WITHIN THIS HELL Rots within this hell… GROWING SPINELESS DAY BY DAY WATCHING AS YOUR MIND DECAYS YOU SAY THAT YOU’LL KEEP MOVING ON BUT YOU’RE AFRAID. How can I move on if you won’t go away?! I'M THE PAIN WITHIN YOUR HEAD AND WITHOUT ME YOU'D BE DEAD Even with you I would be dead I'M THE REASON WHY YOU'LL NEVER DISAPPEAR. You’re the reason why I want to disappear… DON’T WALK AWAY. YOU’RE WHO’S TO BLAME IF I’M STILL HERE. WAS THIS ALL THAT YOU THOUGHT IT COULD BE? YEARS OF MENDING BUT NOT MUCH TO SEE AREN’T YOU SCARED THAT YOU DON’T FEEL A THING? GOD, YOUR EMPTY GAZE IS SICKENING… YOU CAN TRY TO REJECT IT, BUT IT BUILDS UP AND EATS YOU INSIDE. YOU SHOULD LEARN TO RESPECT IT~ THIS HOSTILITY IS UNJUSTIFIED. SO JUST TRY AND CORRECT IT, BUT MY CONTEMPT FOR YOU WILL NOT BE DENIED. JUST THINK FOR ONCE- WHY ELSE WOULD YOU BE ACTING THIS WAY WE ARE THE MANY FACES YOU HAVE BETRAYED! YOU’LL NEVER KEEP US OUT FOR LONG… IF INNER PEACE IS WHAT YOU FIND, WE’LL TEAR IT OUT OF YOU AND MAKE THE GUILT UNWIND YOU’LL NEVER MAKE THE SHOUTING STOP, OR NUMB THE STIGMA FROM YOUR MIND. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR WHAT’S TO COME… SEE ALL THE DAMAGE YOU’VE LEFT BEHIND. EMBRACE YOUR DAMNED INCOMPETENCE OR DIE. Have you noticed that I’ve tried Coping with the sins that hide?! Have you forgotten that I’ve DONE this all before?! LET YOUR PROBLEMS OUT OR YOU’LL NEVER ENDURE! Every time you come and go, I get weaker as you grow! SEE THE CHILDISH TEARS THAT YOU SHOW?! Even if I’m safe for now, You’ll stoke the fear- YOU JUST WANT SOMEONE TO BLAME FOR WHAT YOU FEAR!! You’ll push my lunacy to something more severe! SOON, YOU WILL EMBRACE THE TRUTH THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE. The shattered mind, YOU’RE THE WASTE OF A LIFE WORTH LIVING. Scattered and swirled… NOTHING MORE THAN A FADED SCREAM. Says “I am fine!” THIS CONCLUSION YOU MAKE IS UNFORGIVING But, to the world… HIDE IN THE LOSS OF YOUR SELF-ESTEEM I’m DEAD inside, AND BURN. And terrified… That I’m STILL HERE.

YES, IT SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WITH THIS VOICE! Thank you for doing this Dokuro. I didn't know you had art skills as well, very nice cover.

god those last couple minutes send shivers down my spine

How did you learn music theory? Every time i listen to this im amazed by how rich the chord structures are

I dont know how, but I am sobbing while also having a massive grin. This shit is powerful, thank you.

I just was listening to Run! and thought to give a listen to Still Here again. Glad you still care about this song, because it makes me cry every single time I hear it. and "the harsh sun cares not for an adult's constant struggle" replacing the story you had before. I don't know if I'm missing context in regards to the "harsh sun", but I'd wager it's meaning is entirely artistic. Either way, this... remake? remaster? remix?... I... don't know what word to use that can convey the sincerity of what I feel. I care about it, and I don't think I know how either. It just is the closest I've seen someone and something relate to my struggles, but of course, the harsh sun cares not for them. AND I WISH RU-vid WOULD FUCKING STOP AUTOPLAYING DEVOURER OF GODS ON A 1 SECOND QUEUE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

When I first heard this song it was great but afterwards I felt that someone tore me down to the core not a small hole but a HUGE hole this song made me fell like I didn't help out a friend or someone I knew it just hit that hard in a nanosecond amount of time

I can’t express what this song has come to mean to me over time. I struggle with something similar to what (I assume) you do, I’d rather not mention it here, as obvious as it might be, and the feeling of having something inside you that hates you and everything you wish you were resonates a lot. Viscerally feeling like my body hates me every time I look at it. Occasionally it feels like I’ve never really been alive because of it, because I’m never sure if the person that I feel like I am is really me. I’ve done things to fix myself sure, but at the end of the day it feels like it’s worth nothing, because I’ve fixed a person who isn’t me. A lot of your songs also have themes of “just doing what you’re expected to” and that hits me hard too, because what I truly want is also something hard to find. I feel like I’ve defined myself too much around other people’s expectations.

I love it. Some of it is... really relatable. It's... very difficult to listen to. But I think I needed it? Thank you so much for all the awesome music you put out. I hope I get to keep listening to it.